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Old 08-22-2013, 10:50 AM   #781
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I am enjoying reading what is going on with you all. Stargirl, you make me laugh because you remind me of me. I was getting pimples and one boob was bigger than the other... I kept thinking, "where is that pregnancy glow everyone always talks about?"

So, last night the cramping increased and I finally passed some blood and small clots (sorry for TMI) about 3-4 times. More TMI i had to go #2 about 6 times. I feel like i would be really bad at actual labor...

The worst part was the medication made my stomach cramp in this weird way that made me feel nauseous/burpy. I couldn't bring myself to take the last dose as the cramping was starting to get bad and I had a 100 degree fever. I feel like there is more to pass? But, I don't know how this works. My boss let me telecommute again today - I was going to go in this afternoon, but I'm glad because after I showered I had cramping again. I feel pretty weak still, but am actually hungry, which I haven't been for weeks so that's a great feeling. I had ice cream for breakfast! sometimes a girl just needs ice cream!

Thank you all for thinking of me and sharing your stories - seriously so wonderful. I hope you all dont mind, but i want to continue to check in here with all of you since I love reading about all that you are going through. I think we are going to take a break for a few months, but I need to prepare!
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Old 08-22-2013, 11:07 AM   #782
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DD80 - Yes, please continue to visit with us!

So here is what our employee handbook says, pretty clear to me or am I reading it wrong?

Job Benefits and Protection. During a qualifying FMLA leave, (Company) continues to make available your regular (Company) group health benefits at the same level and under the same conditions as before the FMLA leave, provided your share and the company’s share of the premiums are paid. However, if you elect not to return to work for at least 30 calendar days at the end of the leave period, you may be required to reimburse the company for the cost of the (Company) health benefit premiums paid by the company so that (Company) could maintain your regular health benefits during your qualifying FMLA leave, unless you cannot return to work because of a serious health condition of you or your covered family member, or because of other circumstances beyond your control.
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:24 PM   #783
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Debbie- lol I definitely squeezed too. It's crazy!

I come from a long line of women (including my sister) who had oversupply issues. I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to be one too.

Andi- good luck with your FMLA. That would really stink to have to pay that money back but at the same time, it might be worth it to you.

DD80- glad you checked in plead stay around and post!
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:58 PM   #784
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Debbie - I think you are right. http://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/whd/fmla/8d4.aspx
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:38 PM   #785
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I'm a Benefits Manager....what is your question exactly, Andi? I'm confused. If someone doesn't come back from FMLA, yes, your company can charge your for the full premium they paid to maintain your health insurance while you were out (you probably were already being billed for your own portion, but they could essentially bill you the balance which would be their portion) while you were out on FMLA. I've never worked at a company where we actually did that though....it's pretty sucky if your company actually would follow through with that. I mean, yes, we have it in our Employee Handbook, but I've been here for over 13 years and have had situations where employees decided not to come back from FMLA because they wanted to stay home with their babies after maternity leave was over (for example ) and we have NEVER gone after them for it. And what are we going to do, go to court for it? Seriously....the cost of a court case would outweigh any benefits of getting that premium back. But that's just been my experience in my jobs. Note-I currently work at a large non-profit and my previous job was at a for-profit company.
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Old 08-22-2013, 02:00 PM   #786
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Thanks Sharon. So, my company does not qualify for FMLA because we dont have 50 employees in a 75 mi radius. Our HR manager said that they can only charge me my portion of the benefits while I am on paid leave. My question now is that I will be paid by the state of CA SDI/PFL, so does that count as paid leave? See the link I posted just above, that is what she was referencing, specifically the 4th paragraph.
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Old 08-22-2013, 02:20 PM   #787
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Ditto to everything Sharon said. Our HR manager says they can go back and charge the employer portion of the premium, but most companies, including my current company and others I have worked for, do not do that. It's hard to enforce. They could cancel your insurance retroactive, but most insurance carriers won't allow a termination to go back 3 months, especially if claims have been paid.

Your HR person confirmed they will only charge you your portion? I wish I could help with your second question, but California can be very different, esp when it comes to employment law.
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Old 08-22-2013, 02:25 PM   #788
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Good luck tomorrow, Debbie! The night before my appt I was such an anxious wreck I kept saying to my husband, "I can't wait to KNOW!!! I just want to know!" He would just say- "we will tomorrow." lol He's been so patient with me.
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Old 08-22-2013, 02:42 PM   #789
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Thanks!! I am getting SO excited!
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Old 08-22-2013, 03:32 PM   #790
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Thanks Debbie. This insurance issue is really my only concern as any income I receive during leave will be from the State, which I have been paying into all my working life. I am entitled to that and it has nothing to do with my company.

The 2 things I am worried about:
1. They will make me pay back the full insurance premiums for my entire leave
2. They will cancel my insurance retroactively. Can they even do that?

I've sent another inquiry to HR. The woman I have already spoken with is certain they will only make me pay my portion of the premiums but I am nervous because I know they have the option to bill me for all of it.

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Old 08-22-2013, 08:46 PM   #791
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DD80~Yes, please stay! So many of us have had losses and we can be a listening ear for you

Debbie~Good luck tomorrow!

Andi~I hope it all works out for you with insurance and move!

Hi to everyone else!

I had gestational diabetes last time and had an 11 pound baby so I am being SO careful with my diet and working out every day to help minimize the risk. He was actually my easiest labor/delivery but I definitely don't want another huge baby! He was like a turkey! You'd never know it now, he is 19 months tomorrow and only 20 lbs!
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Old 08-23-2013, 06:35 AM   #792
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DD80 - Yes, please stay!

Alie - thanks to your leaking post yesterday, I had a dream last night that I was leaking all over the place. In my dream, DH and I were DTD and I was getting milk all over him.

Debbie - BIG DAY! You better post on here right after your appointment!

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Old 08-23-2013, 07:16 AM   #793
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yeah, California is like it's own country when it comes to employment law....sorry, Andi! They have a lot more laws and are very employee friendly vs the rest of the country.

Quote:
The 2 things I am worried about:
1. They will make me pay back the full insurance premiums for my entire leave
Well, my thinking is that since this is not considered federal FMLA (and you are 100% positive about that, and you are positive that your leave won't fall under some other California leave law that I am not aware of being that I work in NYS), then you would have to refer to your handbook. THAT being said...again, I think for them to do that would be really awful, and a waste of time and resources for them. What is in your employee handbook isn't necessarily legally binding, but they can try to enforce it of course. But if you don't pay it back, they are going to have to weigh a lot of things....are they really going to spent their time/money to take you to small claims court over this?

Quote:
2. They will cancel my insurance retroactively. Can they even do that?


Most of our insurance plans we offer will only allow us to go back up to 60 days retro-actively to cancel someone's coverage (although we have one plan that will allow us to go back up to 90 days). Bottom line, if the coverage has been used during that period, and then it was cancelled retro-actively, then yes, the employee would be responsible for the bills. It would be a mess though and take quite a while to get sorted out. First the insurer would go after the doctor/hosptital/pharmacy for the claim money paid to them, then the provider(s) would have to come after you to get reimbursed. But most companies/HR people with a heart would find that to be very mean and probably wouldn't do it. Especially when they know that you've rung up such a big bill with just using it (my last hosptial and doctor bill with having Ethan was over $38,000!!! ) Of course, that was what the hospital and doctor "charged" my insurance company (CIGNA), but that doesn't mean that is what they got back. They have contracted rates they go by if they are in network which they all were.

On another note, I would also warn you to be careful what you say to your HR person as well. Even though you may just be asking questions and exploring your options, it very well could get back to your supervisor and they get nervous that you are just going to get up and leave after your maternity leave is up and fire you now since I am assuming California is an "employoment at will" state? That of course would also be terrible and you could have a case against them considering pregnancy is considered a disability in most cases (it is in NYS).

So very complicated though, I'm sorry you have to worry about all this!

Can you move while on maternity leave, then just come back for a couple weeks when it's over to work and to give your notice? Then you wouldn't have to worry about all this and you'd have the best of both worlds. Just trying to think how you could make this work without having to live on pins and needles and worrying about being charged thousands of dollars or worse-having them cancel your insurance retro-actively.
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:13 AM   #794
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Sharon, our HR rep is an offsite agency. We have co-employment with TriNet so they are a very neutral party. I've been considering just coming back for one day and putting in my 2 wk notice and taking my PTO. I dont really want to have to come back with a new baby as we will be 3hrs away. I can stay with friends but dont want to leave the baby for that long, especially while nursing! We may just have to wait it out.

Debbie - anxiously waiting! LOL!
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:27 AM   #795
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The appt is at 4:15, so it will be a late update. I'm dying over here!
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:35 AM   #796
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Gahhhhhhhhh!
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Old 08-23-2013, 11:42 AM   #797
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I'm gonna try to post a bump pic from my phone. Let's see if this works...

30 Weeks with Twins

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Old 08-23-2013, 11:52 AM   #798
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Beautiful belly, Sutton! Thanks for sharing with us.

14 DPO and no positive test or spotting, signaling AF is about to arrive. Maybe I ovulated later than I thought? I went in the following morning after a positive OPK, but could have ovulated the day after that. Why do PMS symptoms have to be the same as early pregnancy symptoms? Ugh....waiting, waiting, waiting.
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Old 08-23-2013, 12:14 PM   #799
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Thanks Shana! I feel your waiting torture. Wouldn't it be nice if you were one of those women who paid no attention, and then one day you just realize your period is like two weeks late? Yeah.
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Old 08-23-2013, 01:21 PM   #800
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sutton, your belly is adorable!

shana - boo! Even if your did o the next day, the sperm should have still been there waiting to do the job so I wouldn't worry about that. I have always read that sex BEFORE o is better because the sperm is waiting there for the egg rather than the other way around. Another thought is that maybe you O'd the day of your +OPK and just missed it? I have really bad luck with OPK's, I dont register positive on them often but I always clearly O based on temps and one cycle with all negatives, I got a BFP . One thing I do know is that I sometimes O the same day I get a +OPK. Hang in there!
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Old 08-23-2013, 02:31 PM   #801
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sutton- you look amazing!!! perfect belly And your dream is too funny!

Shana- are your cycles pretty regular? maybe you could try going in a day or two before you usually O next time. I never tried OPKs but I have heard once you get a positive you may have missed the window.

Debbie- are you still doing a reveal?? can't wait to find out!

Still having trouble sleeping And I go back to work on Monday. It's going to be rough without my daily 2 hr nap lol
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:55 PM   #802
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They couldn't see the gender clearly. I have to wait until 9/3 for my 20 week ultrasound to find out the gender. I'm bummed, but so glad to see the baby again. And by all accounts, he/she is doing great.
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Old 08-23-2013, 10:33 PM   #803
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Aww, that's too bad Carlini. At least you got to see your little one! The 3rd isn't too far away, hang in there.

Thanks for the encouraging words, ladies. You are all so amazingly positive and supportive. I cried a bit today. I feel so hopeful knowing we have a legitimate chance now to get pregnant. I think these negative tests will be so much harder to cope with. Ugh.

My cycles are irregular, and this is why I have used Clomid in the past. After a much improved count for hubby, I'm afraid there could be an issue with me. I have had a few anovulatory cycles.
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Old 08-24-2013, 06:07 AM   #804
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Aww Debbie. That stinks. I'm glad baby is looking good though! And the 3rd is not far away at all. Be sure to drink some OJ before your appt

(((Shana))) I am so sorry. I know it will happen! Could you try Clomid and IUI?
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Old 08-24-2013, 12:25 PM   #805
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Bummer Debbie, but it's still exciting that you got to see the bambino!

Hugs Shana. Please don't let this get you down.
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Old 08-26-2013, 09:15 AM   #806
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Period started last night. We're going to take a month off. My husband will be traveling AGAIN next month for work and of course he'll be gone right around the time I'll likely ovulate.

Stargirl- I'l taken Clomid for 3 cycles about a year ago, then I just took Femera this last cycle. I will likely switch back to Clomid. I hated the side effects, but Clomid can make you release more than one egg. I'm thinking we could be more successful with that. We'll see.
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Old 08-26-2013, 10:59 AM   #807
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Debbie - I cant believe it! Hopefully the baby will show the goods next time. Glad all is well!

Shana - Im sorry to hear that. Good luck next time! Stay positive!



Im 20 wks today, feeling rather big in the belly. Im going to try on working some of the needless carbs out of my diet. I found myself having a breadstick with dinner last night and for what? It just gave me heartburn. Time to focus!
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Old 08-26-2013, 11:22 AM   #808
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Sutton, your belly is so dang cute!

Shana, are they monitoring your follicles with ultrasound? I had three mature with femara. Clomid does not always give the best response - it depends on the individual.

Andi, you get one shot at good nutrition when pregnant. Shape up! (now I need to take my own advice ). Did you get a clear answer on the insurance issue?

Allie, I hope you're not dragging too much on your first day back to work.

I’m in full maternity clothes today at work and sporting a bump. I am SOOO comfortable! I think I can feel the baby moving now too. Good times.
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Old 08-26-2013, 11:24 AM   #809
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I forgot to update: my HR question got sent to the Leave of Absence department. I should hear back today or tomorrow.
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Old 08-26-2013, 02:17 PM   #810
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Shana - sorry about the stupid witch arriving.

Thanks Debbie! I feel like the belly is getting less cute and more babam! That is so cool that you're already feeling baby!

Andi - it's crazy that you're already at the half way point! I felt like I got there pretty quickly too, then everything just slowed to a crawl. I'll be 31 weeks on Thursday, but I'm really just counting down the days to 38 weeks (51 days).

I'm just chillaxing at home today. I woke up at 3:30am, after only 4.5 hours of sleep and couldn't fall back asleep. I decided there was no way I was going to work and called in. I finally went back to sleep around 6am and slept til 10:30am. Aaaaaah, wish I could do this everyday. Just a couple more weeks of work!
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