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Old 08-20-2013, 06:06 PM   #751
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Oh I'm so very sorry you are in my thoughts.
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Old 08-20-2013, 06:06 PM   #752
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Hi guys! Thank you for the prayers.

Unfortunately, we lost the baby. There was no growth and no heartbeat. I got the medication to get me pass it. I'd like to think it's for the best - I'd like to think the baby wasn't ready yet. We will get him/her back when they are ready to be with us.
I'm so sorry. I'm here if you need to talk. Please, feel free to message me. I know I didn't go through the same exact thing, but I'm here for you if you want me to be!
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:04 PM   #753
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Thank you both. I finally had a good cry and it feels good to let myself feel sorry for myself for a little while.

I am waiting to take the pill. I read about it online and I'm not ready for it yet. Plus I want to take it during daylight hours just in case I need to call the dr. Not sure if ill be ready tomorrow either. :-/
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:43 PM   #754
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I'm so very sorry. I've been through this a few times, and it just feels terrible. Please feel free to vent here anytime. Most of us have had a loss, and we understand. Did they give you RX pain meds? Miscarriage can be surprising painful, and no one ever tells you that. I'd get some meds in case you need them.
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Old 08-21-2013, 04:13 AM   #755
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Thank you both. I finally had a good cry and it feels good to let myself feel sorry for myself for a little while.

I am waiting to take the pill. I read about it online and I'm not ready for it yet. Plus I want to take it during daylight hours just in case I need to call the dr. Not sure if ill be ready tomorrow either. :-/
Do you know if there is a group called Share in your area? My group has helped me so much. We have people there who have lost their babies at all stages. If not, our group has an online group too if you are on Facebook. I'm sure it would be way more than alright if you wanted to join us there. The ladies are so sweet and supportive. Let yourself cry as much as you need to! Don't let anyone else try to define how long you should grieve for you. You are in my thoughts today. Sending you huge virtual hugs, and wishing I could give you real ones/be there with you!

I'm not sure you will ever be ready. Can your husband stay home with you?
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Old 08-21-2013, 04:14 AM   #756
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I am so sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-21-2013, 06:41 AM   #757
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I'm so very sorry DD80. I went through something similar last year, and it's devastating no matter when it happens. We had a strong healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks, but by 12 weeks there was no heartbeat and baby only measured 9 weeks. I know it's hard to accept at the time, but God has a plan. If it weren't for our loss last year, we would never have been blessed with these twin boys now.

Regarding the pill - I don't know how you feel about waiting it out, but that's what I did. My doc wrote the prescription, but I never filled it. I waited to let everything pass on it's own. The "main event" didn't happen for a good three to four weeks, but I was more comfortable with letting my body do this naturally vs forcing it. The night it happened, I was extra crampy and couldn't sleep. My body finally passed everything around 3AM. It wasn't too painful, just crampy, and from what I've read, it's much less painful than using the prescription. Of course, I also understand if you just want to be done and move on.

Again, I am so sorry for loss. I'll be thinking about you. Big hug.

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Old 08-21-2013, 09:36 AM   #758
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I've been mainly lurking here because we've been so busy this summer with moving, buying and trying to sell our house, illnesses and such, but I wanted to pop in for a minute and let you know that I was routing for you and your baby DD80 and I am so sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-21-2013, 10:07 AM   #759
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Thank you everyone.:-) Suzie thank you for the resources. I will check them out.

It is comforting to know that other women have gone through this, so thank you for sharing your experiences. I believe God has a plan too.

I did end up using the pills this morning. Nothing has happened yet, but I couldn't wait for the natural way. I am scared of what's next, but I'll get through it. My husband is coming home for lunch, so that's good.

Again, thank you all for all your support! It is so appreciated.
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Old 08-21-2013, 12:15 PM   #760
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DD80 - I am so sorry!

I too went through a loss last year. I went in for an u/s at 10w5d and the baby was only measuring 6w3d. We were heartbroken. I waited it out because ironically, I had started bleeding the morning of my u/s. The m/c was slightly painful but I was glad it went the natural route, I did take a couple of the vicodin the doc prescribed though. I passed it at 11w. So just keep that in mind, it can take several weeks before your body decides to let go.

ETA: Saw that you took the pills, things should move along much quicker for you. Hang in there, we are all sending prayers your way.

AFM, I had my appt today, BP is looking good, no weight gain. Doc ordered my anatomy scan so I should get the authorization in a couple days to make my appt. I will be 20 wks on Monday.....halfway there!
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Old 08-21-2013, 12:58 PM   #761
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Andi - Great news all around! That's great you still haven't gained at 20 weeks!

I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow! Eeek, the big day is getting so close! I am definitely feeling more and more prego, and have really slowed my roll. At my 28 week appointment, I measured 33 weeks, so I'm guessing I'm currently measuring around 36 weeks. I'll be seeing both my peri and OB next week, and can't wait to see how much the boys have grown!

I freakin' stumped by pinky toe so bad Sunday morning that it still hurts to put shoes over it. I've been kind of hobbling around, and I'm sure people think it's pregnancy related. It needs to get better soon because my poor dog needs a walk.

I'm starting to look forward to post-pregnancy fat loss. I was looking through some wedding pics yesterday, and have decided that I WILL get back to my wedding weight within a year. I haven't put on too much extra fat with this pregnancy (maybe 5-10lbs), but I had about 10 extra vanity pounds beforehand. Of course, if it comes to it, I will not sacrifice my milk supply in the name of weight loss, but I don't think it'll be an issue as long as I go slow.
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Old 08-21-2013, 02:35 PM   #762
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That's great, Andi!

Sutton- can we get a bump pic

((DD80)) I'm thinking of you. Please check in and let us know how are you are feeling if you are up to it.

I'm feeling really frumpy lately I just don't feel like I'm getting the beauty benefits of pregnancy. The only good thing that has happened is my hair has really started growing in. It was thinning a lot bc of my PCOS but I definitely notice more in the last couple of weeks. Other than that, my body feels gross, I have dark patches of skin on my chest and my body is all misshapen. And I know its just going to get worse.
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Old 08-21-2013, 02:42 PM   #763
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DD80, I am so sorry for your loss
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Old 08-21-2013, 02:44 PM   #764
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Looks like I will joining this group for the 4th time! EDD is April 29th, first appt is Sept 20th. I have a 5 year old son, my daughter will be 4 in a couple of weeks and my other son is 19 months
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:08 PM   #765
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Andi ~ Iím glad your appointment went well. No weight gain is fantastic! I wish I could say the same here.

Iím also feeling frumpy. I think it might be time for some new clothes, haircut and maybe nails too. Mostly I look Iím getting fatter. I certainly donít have a cute baby bump. Oh and my butt is getting really big. Iím a mess, but itís for a good cause!
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:22 PM   #766
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Looks like I will joining this group for the 4th time! EDD is April 29th, first appt is Sept 20th. I have a 5 year old son, my daughter will be 4 in a couple of weeks and my other son is 19 months
Congrats!!! You are going to have your hands full
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Old 08-21-2013, 07:25 PM   #767
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So sorry for your loss, DD80.
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Old 08-21-2013, 11:18 PM   #768
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Shana, any update?
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Old 08-22-2013, 05:26 AM   #769
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I'm so sorry DD

Congrats potaty! We were preggo at the same time 4 years ago. My son turns 4 in October.
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Old 08-22-2013, 05:59 AM   #770
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Congratulations, Potaty! Welcome back to the group.

No real update for me. Of course, I've taken 100 tests! I'm 13 DPO and expecting AF by the end of the weekend. We'll see.
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Old 08-22-2013, 05:59 AM   #771
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So to add to my body self consciousness- last night I started leaking. Anyone else start this early? I'm only 17 weeks!
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Old 08-22-2013, 06:42 AM   #772
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I remember feeling frumpy at that weird in between stage where you don't have an obvious bump, rather it just looks like you've been hitting the donuts.

Alie - Yes, I will take a pic this afternoon or tomorrow and get it posted. Dang girl, you're already leaking! I've been able to squeeze colostrum out, but no actual leaking.

Potaty - Congrats on number 4!!

Work is getting on my nerves, so I'm trying to distract myself. I'm so ready to be done!

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Old 08-22-2013, 07:20 AM   #773
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It isn't much at all! just colostrum. I just wasn't expecting it so soon!
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Old 08-22-2013, 07:45 AM   #774
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Well hopefully it's a sign of a plentiful milk supply to come.
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Old 08-22-2013, 07:46 AM   #775
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Shana ~ did you get the results of your progesterone draw?

Allie ~ no leaking here, but I’ll admit to checking to see if I can get any out. So far nothing. Hopefully my boobs are working!

Sutton ~ You’re going to stay home, right? The end is in sight!

So last night I decided it was a great idea to eat two pieces of stuffed pizza and then go to sleep. Normally I can do this. My stomach can take a lot of abuse... But when I laid down I had the worse reflux! I kept coughing and wanting to puke. I finally fell asleep on the couch propped up. I did not sleep much last night.

Tomorrow is the big day. I’m getting really excited and hoping the baby cooperates and shows us the goods!
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Old 08-22-2013, 09:44 AM   #776
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Congrats Potaty!!!!

Alie - I have never leaked. I nursed DS for 14 mo and didnt leak during either, never had to wear pads. I always thought I was weird.

Debbie - Cant wait for your u/s! I get heartburn from just about everything these days. Bananas are the worst! Yes, bananas!

Shana - Fingers crossed lady!!!

DD80 - Hugs to you. Let us know how you are doing.

Im definitely frumpy and feeling fat too. I also feel like all my clothes fit me weird, even my maternity stuff. I need to get my hair cut, maybe that will help? I worked from home yesterday and stayed in sweats and a tank top, no makeup, that didnt help.

So DH and I are trying to decide if I should come back from maternity leave and give my notice, or eat the cost of the insurance for 2 or 3 months and just not come back (company policy is you have to pay it back if you dont return). Our insurance is roughly $1500/mo though, $1400 of which is company paid while I am employed. As much as I would rather just write the $4,500 check, that money would be best kept in our savings and I should probably bite the bullet and come back just to give notice. Grrrr, I hate that. It will put off our move for a couple months but may be worth it. Any advice?

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Old 08-22-2013, 10:10 AM   #777
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Debbie - I'm excited for you! I'm sure baby will cooperate! Will you have them tell you then and there, or are you planning a gender reveal? (I remember someone mentioning a gender reveal, but I can't remember if it was you or not.)

Andi - Would you have to go back to work and then give a two week notice? If it's only two weeks, then I'd say go back to give notice. $4,500 isn't chump change. Maybe DH could use some vacation time to stay with the kiddos? Or could you convince a family member to come stay with y'all for a week or so? That does suck though. I'd hate to have to go back just to give notice. Not only will you have to leave your new baby, but I'm sure it'll be awkward at work.

I've never heard of having to pay the company back if you don't return. I better look into that, to make sure that's not the case with me. How did you find out? Is it clearly stated in your employee handbook?

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Old 08-22-2013, 10:24 AM   #778
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Andi and Sutton - I'm in HR and do benefits for my Company. That does not sound right to me. How many employees does your company have, and are you eligible for FMLA?

In an FMLA event, the company can require you to pay the premium you normally pay as an active employee - not the Cobra or full rate. From a benefits perspective, they have to treat you as if you are an active employee. Here, we bill employees for their employee portion, and then cancel coverage and send a Cobra notice if they don't return. Coverage is cancelled the end of the month in which they should have returned - NOT retroactive. This applies to employers who have 50 or more employees, and are required to be complaint with FMLA.

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Old 08-22-2013, 10:38 AM   #779
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Thanks for the info Debbie! My company is large, and I'm definitely covered by FMLA.
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:43 AM   #780
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I'm double checking with the HR manager on this. Stay tuned.
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