Baby Talk - Part 2

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by Lori37

I dunno. I'm doing State Maternity leave, which is a total of 10 weeks I believe. 4 weeks before my due date and 6 after. At a 40% pay! Since I'm on leave now, and hubby just so happens to be on unemployment (his work is very seasonal and should pick up again in a month or two) I went today and applied for WIC. Since it's based on monthly income and not annual, we were able to qualify with basically both of us out of work. Can you look into the WIC program in your area to help with food expenses? They will also help with formula cost after you deliver.

There's no way we would qualify. I make more than double what they would require for a family our size just by myself, and my husband makes more than I do. I'm just irritated that my benefits are so ****** and that they quietly changed our maternity benefits without telling us. VERY irritated. Ugh. We aren't going to starve to death or anything, but I wish they would have let us know that it was changed, I could have easily picked up an Aflac policy before we started trying that would have covered me. I didn't think it was necessary Honestly two weeks of partial pay, it's such a pittance it's basically a slap in the damn face.

[Lori37]

Originally Posted by SouthernCJ

There's no way we would qualify. I make more than double what they would require for a family our size just by myself, and my husband makes more than I do. I'm just irritated that my benefits are so ****** and that they quietly changed our maternity benefits without telling us. VERY irritated. Ugh. We aren't going to starve to death or anything, but I wish they would have let us know that it was changed, I could have easily picked up an Aflac policy before we started trying that would have covered me. I didn't think it was necessary Honestly two weeks of partial pay, it's such a pittance it's basically a slap in the damn face.

What kinda work do you do?
My husband makes too much to, but "luckily" he's not working right now. It's kinda nice when he has a slow season and I'm glad it's lining up when it is so he can be home to help me out right now and for a few weeks after baby is born.

[Lori37]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

I have my 6 week postpartum appointment today. Where is the time going?

Congrats! Hope everything is going well!

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by Lori37

What kinda work do you do?
My husband makes too much to, but "luckily" he's not working right now. It's kinda nice when he has a slow season and I'm glad it's lining up when it is so he can be home to help me out right now and for a few weeks after baby is born.

I'm a biochemist and my husband is an environmental engineer. We both do research for the government. Not classified or anything He does toxicology research and I am in biofuels.

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by SouthernCJ

Hey guys,

Was hoping you could give me some help with my maternity leave. I copied and pasted this from my post in the Dave Ramsey thread on the playground:

Well I just found out that the 6 weeks of maternity leave at 60% salary I thought I got is actually 30 days of unpaid leave followed by 2 weeks of leave at 60%. I am shocked. I have no idea what we're going to do. Apparently since I have a short term disability policy and not a maternity policy they are allowed to begin my 30 day elimination period the day I deliver and not start paying me benefits until after that time. But, your 6 weeks of leave also begin when you deliver. Leaving you with 2 weeks of paid leave (well 60%).



Has anyone ever heard of this BS type of insurance policy?

Ok now off to read through how ya'll have been doing.

Mine was the same with my employer when I had Ben last year, the only difference being I had a 2-week unpaid waiting period before the short term disability benefits kicked in, so I got 4 weeks of 60% pay. However, another requirement of our plan was that I use up ALL of my PTO (vacation/sick time), and I had about 2 weeks of PTO saved up, so I ended up using PTO to cover what would have been the unpaid time. I think I ended up with like 3 days of unpaid leave and then the rest at 60%, but I also ended up being written out of work before I delivered, so my whole thing started about a month before I gave birth. So, I did my 2 weeks of unpaid/PTO, then the next 2 weeks and THEN the 6 weeks post delivery of 60% pay (so 8 weeks total of 60%).

And people kept asking me why I wasn't taking more than 6 weeks off. Umm, because I make more than my husband, so I'm our primary income and can't afford to just take unpaid time off beyond the short-term disability-allowed 6 weeks!

The US is woefully behind on this maternity leave issue. Canada, Australia, England...pretty much all first-world countries have superior maternity leave policies. And most states do not have any maternity policies, either. I know California does, and possibly a couple others, but most do not.

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by jillybean720

Mine was the same with my employer when I had Ben last year, the only difference being I had a 2-week unpaid waiting period before the short term disability benefits kicked in, so I got 4 weeks of 60% pay. However, another requirement of our plan was that I use up ALL of my PTO (vacation/sick time), and I had about 2 weeks of PTO saved up, so I ended up using PTO to cover what would have been the unpaid time. I think I ended up with like 3 days of unpaid leave and then the rest at 60%, but I also ended up being written out of work before I delivered, so my whole thing started about a month before I gave birth. So, I did my 2 weeks of unpaid/PTO, then the next 2 weeks and THEN the 6 weeks post delivery of 60% pay (so 8 weeks total of 60%).

And people kept asking me why I wasn't taking more than 6 weeks off. Umm, because I make more than my husband, so I'm our primary income and can't afford to just take unpaid time off beyond the short-term disability-allowed 6 weeks!

The US is woefully behind on this maternity leave issue. Canada, Australia, England...pretty much all first-world countries have superior maternity leave policies. And most states do not have any maternity policies, either. I know California does, and possibly a couple others, but most do not.

Absolutely shameful. I am so envious of the women on the baby boards who are from other countries with awesome leave policies. I think that part of the problem in America is the stereotype that the woman's income really isn't needed in the household. It's just an "extra". Could not be further from the truth in this day and age.

Mostly I am upset because I feel I was misled on what was covered. Before getting pregnant I asked HR and was told "6 weeks!". No mention of the fine print They told me that they meant I had their "permission" to leave work for 6 weeks, not that that time period would be paid. They also let me know that I was free to use up all my PTO and sick leave! Thank you so much for your never-ending generosity. Honestly who has a 160 hours of leave just lying around? I was seriously pizzed off, I left work early today because I knew if I stayed I would work myself into an angry hormone fueled frenzy.

[Lori37]

Originally Posted by SouthernCJ

I'm a biochemist and my husband is an environmental engineer. We both do research for the government. Not classified or anything He does toxicology research and I am in biofuels.

Wow that sounds like interesting work! Toxicology....hmmmm....anything to do with GMO's or Vaccines? lol

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by Lori37

Wow that sounds like interesting work! Toxicology....hmmmm....anything to do with GMO's or Vaccines? lol

Lol! Aquatic toxicology. So when the Army wants to start using a new explosive they'll test it's toxicity against certain water organisms to assess its safety to the environment. He designs a lot of their automated testing systems, he doesn't do too much on the biology side of things.

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by SouthernCJ

They told me that they meant I had their "permission" to leave work for 6 weeks, not that that time period would be paid. They also let me know that I was free to use up all my PTO and sick leave! Thank you so much for your never-ending generosity. Honestly who has a 160 hours of leave just lying around? I was seriously pizzed off, I left work early today because I knew if I stayed I would work myself into an angry hormone fueled frenzy.

Yeah, I was told 6 weeks, too, then later found out about the 2-week waiting period...nice. And I found out from a coworker I shared my office with, NOT from HR. I also hate that they REQUIRED me to use up all my PTO, so then when returning back to work full-time after having given birth and having a newborn at home, I have NO PTO for silly things like doctor's appointments and other such frivolities

[suzanneyea]

I cannot imagine only six weeks. I do not work, but my husband took six months of paternity leave when James was born. It was amazing.

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by suzanneyea

I cannot imagine only six weeks. I do not work, but my husband took six months of paternity leave when James was born. It was amazing.

Yup, the US is not only behind when it comes to maternity leave, but also for paternity leave. Most men get NONE. My husband took a week off unpaid to stay home, and that was it. I cried the first day I was left home alone with Ben; I was only a week post-partum, I'd been through so much emotionally and physically from the delivery and the breastfeeding fiasco...I was exhausted and still recuperating myself and couldn't even stand up for more than a couple minutes at a time without pain/pressure. Welcome to motherhood!

[Suzie]

I will have no official maternity leave. I usually get a part time job in the summers, just to do something and to help out keep some money coming in. However, we purposely planned the pregnancy so that I'd be due end of spring/early summer, when my job isn't active. I work in a school. We ended up getting it pretty darn perfect. I'm due May 17 and the last day of school is May 23. I do have about 2 weeks of PTO that I can use if I go early, so I could for sure get paid until the end of the school year. Once the school year is over though I will have no money coming in. Because I'm a 9 month employee I sign papers that say I will not take unemployment during the summers.

We are getting ready to tighten the boot straps! I'm excited about the summer off with the baby though.

DH has some vacation time, but has to put in for it in advance. So, he wouldn't be able to start taking a vacation the day the baby was born. He will most likely take a few of his paid personal days when the baby is born, and then plan for a vacation a few weeks later to spend some time at home with us. We definitely couldn't afford both of us being out of work without pay!

[DisneyPrincess]

Is love to have hubby home! He got 10 days from the marine corps and took a few more after that. The good thing is that he really is available if I need him.

So I had a scary appointment yesterday. My IUD was almost all the way out! Me and dh have had sex twice recently. Uggg. The thought of possibly being pregnant frightens me to death! I had to take a pg test and will go back in 4 weeks for another. They won't place another IUd until they are sure I'm not pregnant. Please pray. This just isn't the right time for us and we don't even know if we want any more kids!

On the plus side I'm down over 20 pounds since I was last there

[jillybean720]

Well, I thought my period was starting just a little earlier than expected because I spotted a bit on Thursday. But nothing at all yesterday. I took a pregnancy test this morning (though it's super early, as my period likely wouldn't start until Tuesday or later since my cycles have been 34+ days). I initially thought it was negative, but upon closer inspection, I could see a super duper faint second line, but I'm wondering if I was just looking too hard, ya know? It's like it was more iridescent than actually pink. If I'm still not bleeding in the next couple days, I'll test again on Monday morning. I actually have my gyn appointment for an annual checkup on Monday late morning, so I should know after that for sure. On the other hand, if I do start my period, I'll have to change that appointment last minute and hope they don't charge me a cancellation fee!

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

So I had a scary appointment yesterday. My IUD was almost all the way out! Me and dh have had sex twice recently. Uggg. The thought of possibly being pregnant frightens me to death! I had to take a pg test and will go back in 4 weeks for another. They won't place another IUd until they are sure I'm not pregnant. Please pray. This just isn't the right time for us and we don't even know if we want any more kids!

On the plus side I'm down over 20 pounds since I was last there

When did they place your IUD? I would think (based on nothing but my own thought process) they should wait until you're fully healed from delivery. For me, that took weeks! I hope you're not pregnant (an unusual thing to say around here, but I totally understand!).

And the -20 pounds is awesome!

[Lori37]

Good luck DP! I know prengancies are much more enjoyable when they are planned! Keep us updated, going through another one so soon, I could imagine you're just not ready physically or emotionally for that.

And jillybean good luck to you too! Can't wait to hear if it's good news!

[Lori37]

For the last two weeks I've been getting up every hour on the hour to make a trip to the bathroom. All of a sudden the last few nights I've only been getting up every 2.5-3 hours. It's been nice.
In my first week out of work, I've slept in almost every morning. And find I don't need naps to get through the day anymore. It's heavenly! I feel my best in the morning, since I've been off my pelvis all night. But a couple hours into the day and it hurts to sit or walk.

[Suzie]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

Is love to have hubby home! He got 10 days from the marine corps and took a few more after that. The good thing is that he really is available if I need him.

So I had a scary appointment yesterday. My IUD was almost all the way out! Me and dh have had sex twice recently. Uggg. The thought of possibly being pregnant frightens me to death! I had to take a pg test and will go back in 4 weeks for another. They won't place another IUd until they are sure I'm not pregnant. Please pray. This just isn't the right time for us and we don't even know if we want any more kids!

On the plus side I'm down over 20 pounds since I was last there

Oh no! I hope it works out for the best. I just had a friend whose IUD embedded into her uterine wall and they had to rip it out. I've heard quite a few stories about them causing issues lately. It is kind of scared me off of them! Great job on the 20 lbs!! That is awesome!

Originally Posted by Lori37

For the last two weeks I've been getting up every hour on the hour to make a trip to the bathroom. All of a sudden the last few nights I've only been getting up every 2.5-3 hours. It's been nice.
In my first week out of work, I've slept in almost every morning. And find I don't need naps to get through the day anymore. It's heavenly! I feel my best in the morning, since I've been off my pelvis all night. But a couple hours into the day and it hurts to sit or walk.

I'm glad you are getting more sleep, but hope you get some relief soon! Does it help to lay back on the couch some? Make the most out of it and relax as much as possible!



Jillybean - Good luck!!!

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

Is love to have hubby home! He got 10 days from the marine corps and took a few more after that. The good thing is that he really is available if I need him.

So I had a scary appointment yesterday. My IUD was almost all the way out! Me and dh have had sex twice recently. Uggg. The thought of possibly being pregnant frightens me to death! I had to take a pg test and will go back in 4 weeks for another. They won't place another IUd until they are sure I'm not pregnant. Please pray. This just isn't the right time for us and we don't even know if we want any more kids!

On the plus side I'm down over 20 pounds since I was last there

Oh my gosh!!! Well little Stella is so fresh and since you have been breastfeeding the odds of you ovulating this soon are pretty low. I know none of this information would comfort me but I have my fingers crossed for you! Twenty pounds too nice work girl! That is a lot, especially on someone as tiny as you!

You all have been doing so well! The time seems to be going by pretty quick. My belly seems to be getting bigger every day and little baby girl is getting so strong! Things have been stressful around here so it is awesome to have this source of happiness in our life. DH has been stressed with work too, and he loves to be able to feel her kick, it cheers everyone up. It is hard for him to catch her kicking at night, she always kicks up a storm and then it seems like she flips over and puts her back to him when he puts his hand on my belly. We joke that she is kicking to signal that it is time for dad to "put her to bed".

I have my glucose test coming up next week, anything I need to know? And then we are heading to Florida for a babymoon the following week! We though about cancelling it so we can save the time off for my month of unpaid leave but three days off is such a tiny drop in the bucket of what I would need. We already have all our travel plans set so we decided to go ahead and do it! I'm looking forward to it big time. BIG time, lol. Pregnant girl swimsuit recommendations are welcome!

[DisneyPrincess]

Thanks guys. I'm doubting being pregnant too, but it's pretty scary none the less!

They placed the IUD right after delivery. I had it before Miss Stella and love it and had no issues. They did warn me that chances of expulsion are higher when placed then. I thought it was fine because I could feel the string, which I thought just needed to be cut shorter. Little did I know I could feel it because it was 1/2 way out!! Uggg!!

Jilly- my fingers are crossed for you. Can't wait to hear some news

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by jillybean720

Yeah, I was told 6 weeks, too, then later found out about the 2-week waiting period...nice. And I found out from a coworker I shared my office with, NOT from HR. I also hate that they REQUIRED me to use up all my PTO, so then when returning back to work full-time after having given birth and having a newborn at home, I have NO PTO for silly things like doctor's appointments and other such frivolities

That is just infuriating! I pretty much had to beat the information out of our HR. They kept telling me to wait on filling out my benefits and I insisted on doing it early because I wanted to know exactly what I would be getting. It looks like I am the first person to get pregnant since the policy change so I will be the one taking the hit, everyone else should be able to pick up an extra policy.

Maternity leave policies in the US are terrible. I would absolutely love it if DH got paternity leave. He has been so involved in this process and is so excited to be a dad. I think he feels a bit left out of the pregnancy process and is looking forward to her being here so he can interact with her more.

[jillybean720]

If/when I get pregnant and am with my current employer, I Won't have any maternity leave at all, not even FMLA (unpaid, I know, but still time off with a job to come back to) because the company is so small. We do not have short term disability. However, being so small also has the advantage of greater flexibility, and I know they wouldn't really make me work 8 hours every day or come into the office. I'm confident it would work out okay, though, of course, not as well as having nearly a year off like in Canada

Still no signs of any additional spotting/bleeding. I'll probably be testing every day for the next few days because I'm inpatient. Good thing Dollar Tree sells pregnancy tests

[Suzie]

Originally Posted by jillybean720

If/when I get pregnant and am with my current employer, I Won't have any maternity leave at all, not even FMLA (unpaid, I know, but still time off with a job to come back to) because the company is so small. We do not have short term disability. However, being so small also has the advantage of greater flexibility, and I know they wouldn't really make me work 8 hours every day or come into the office. I'm confident it would work out okay, though, of course, not as well as having nearly a year off like in Canada

Still no signs of any additional spotting/bleeding. I'll probably be testing every day for the next few days because I'm inpatient. Good thing Dollar Tree sells pregnancy tests

Oh my gosh! I went through so many pregnancy tests while we were trying! I think I even took three more after we got a positive!

[jillybean720]

I won't feel good about a positive until it's confirmed by a doctor. With Ben, I took SIX - yes, six - home tests. All three of the First Response tests I took came up negative, and the three from Dollar Tree came up positive! I went to the doc, a they drew blood there, and something happened where it was accidentally mislabeled, so it never got tested, so they sent me to a lab a few days later for another blood draw, and that took 2 more days to come back...it was the longest week ever!

Also, I noticed I wrote "inpatient" instead of "impatient" in my last post. I did mean impatient - this is not a hospital stay issue! Sorry, I'm a huge grammar geek, and things like that get on my nerves when others do it I didn't want to just edit my post since it had also already been quoted

[CARLINI]

I've been reading but don't have much to add. I'm still on track with diet and exercise. My husband is finally home, so I'm spending most of my time with him.

I see everyone is doing well. I probably won't have much to add until our appt with the RE in March, but I'm still lurking.

[jillybean720]

BFP this morning (used a digital test this time!). Will confirm at gyn appointment tomorrow morning. Would put me due October 30.

[CARLINI]

Congrats Jilly!!!!!

[Suzie]

Originally Posted by jillybean720

BFP this morning (used a digital test this time!). Will confirm at gyn appointment tomorrow morning. Would put me due October 30.

[DisneyPrincess]

Woohoo!!!

[suzanneyea]

Wow! Another baby. You guys must be thrilled. I am so happy for you.

[jillybean720]

Thanks, guys! I'll have two under 2, which is both exciting and scary. I am trying to focus on the exciting side and also being very thankful at how fortunate we are. AND thanks to you guys for coaxing me to temp - I took one for the team and had sex the night before and THE morning I believe I ovulated even though I was totally sick

Now I REALLY need to get my diet back in check, as I went way off track when I was sick these past couple weeks. My throat actually STILL hurts today, which marks day 14 in a row of sore throat

I had also been saying recently that I really needed a happy hour to just go out and drink (which I only do maybe 2-3 times a year), but looks like that might have to wait another year!