Baby Talk - Part 2

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

After I asked here I went and searched online and I found the same thing- try different pacifiers. Thankfully I saved some from our son and we found one she took! She's been great all day!! Thanks guys

Hurray! Hopefully, you'll get a bit of relief from no longer having to be a human pacifier

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by SouthernCJ

I need to get a will together for DH and I to make sure baby is taken care of if something bad ever happened I am getting so emotional over it! Such an awful thing to think about but it needs to be done. I think I will ask the PG for advice on it, not sure how to best set up our life insurance and if we need to set up a trust. Should probably just ask an attorney, huh?

This is something I thought about, but we never actually did. Then, just about two months after my son was born, my otherwise healthy, active father literally dropped dead. It was very eye-opening as to how suddenly things can drastically change with absolutely no warning. We are in search of a financial adviser to help us with that kind of planning as well as things like college funds, investments, etc. Not fun to think about, but even less fun to have something happen and be completely unprepared!

[pocahontas]

Originally Posted by jillybean720

This is something I thought about, but we never actually did. Then, just about two months after my son was born, my otherwise healthy, active father literally dropped dead. It was very eye-opening as to how suddenly things can drastically change with absolutely no warning. We are in search of a financial adviser to help us with that kind of planning as well as things like college funds, investments, etc. Not fun to think about, but even less fun to have something happen and be completely unprepared!

We havent done it yet either and DS is 2! My best friend's father is an estate attorney so I will probably give him a call soon. It's been in the back of my mind for a long time now.

[jillybean720]

Can I pick the brains of those of you more knowledgeable about female reproduction than me? I did a little Googling, but found conflicting answers. I know no one here is a medical expert, and I'll be heading to a gyn for an annual exam next month, but my brain is wondering...

If you have a period, does that likely mean you ovulated? Or can you have a period without ovulating? I ask because, with only one ovary, I'm wondering how often I actually ovulate. If I can relatively safely assume that I've ovulated every time I've had a period, then that's good news since some sources seem to say one ovary means only ovulating every other month. I would have assumed that a period was not necessarily a sign that you'd ovulated since the uterine lining could shed even in the absence of an egg, but now I'm not so sure.

The light bulb is also just now coming on that my cycles are probably so long (last one was 37 days) because of only having the one ovary. Maybe it can't keep up with releasing an egg every ~28 days.

What led me to thinking about all this is this month's lack of "egg white" discharge. I had quite a bit of it the past couple cycles, but almost none this time around. It could mean nothing, but I'm not really sure.

I feel like I should know these things, but I swear we didn't cover EVERY scenario in 9th grade health class And I have no real personal experience to go on since I was always on hormonal birth control, so I don't know how my cycles/periods would have been naturally, and then I only had one period after I stopped the birth control and found out I was pregnant. I feel almost like a 30-year-old going through puberty

[CARLINI]

I'm about to run off to a meeting but a super quick answer...

Technically, you can't have a period without ovulating. However, in a cycle that ovulation does not occur, you will eventually have breakthrough bleeding that resembles a period. I had this for many years when I wasn't ovulating but was getting my "period". I can expand on this later when I return to desk.

[pocahontas]

jilly - Carlini is right. The only way to truly know that you have ovulated is by a thermal temp shift or an ultrasound. You could be experiencing annovulatory cyles with breakthrough bleeding or you could be ovulating but late, thus the long cycles. Have you given any thought to charting your cycles? You can do it for free at TCOYF.com. Nothing more to it really than taking your temp first thing in the morning.

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by pocahontas

jilly - Carlini is right. The only way to truly know that you have ovulated is by a thermal temp shift or an ultrasound. You could be experiencing annovulatory cyles with breakthrough bleeding or you could be ovulating but late, thus the long cycles. Have you given any thought to charting your cycles? You can do it for free at TCOYF.com. Nothing more to it really than taking your temp first thing in the morning.

I very much fear doing ANYTHING that I could potentially start to obsess over. I'm really good at jumping WAY too into things :P Even me tracking my cycles just based on when I get my periods has led to me thinking about all this stuff way more than I ever did before. I've always thought of "breakthrough bleeding" as relatively light; my periods are certainly not light and usually last about 8 days.

Maybe I'll try TCOYF after my next period and just see how I react. I don't want TTC to consume my life because I know the stress won't help. Though it might be nice to know which days are most likely the most fertile since I have NO sex drive, so would rather not do the chore more often than might be needed

[pocahontas]

It can be a bit obsessive but in a good way for me. I like knowing what is going on with my cycles. I have been charting since before DS was conceived, we conceived on only the second month trying and after he was born I only charted my TOM once they returned and now I am back to temping (obviously!). I skipped temping the month after the miscarriage and it about drove me insane that I didnt know where I was in my cycle.

I think your plan is good! It might be nice to know if you are in fact ovulating though. With a 37ish day cycle, I would shoot for "doing the chore" every other day on days 20-29. I have never heard of a luteal phase longer than 16 days so that should cover you.

[CARLINI]

I had a breakthrough bleed once that was 3 weeks long and heavy at times. Honestly, it can be hard to know the difference between that and a period. Your uterus builds up a lining in an annovulatory cycle just like it would in a normal cycle, so when that lining sheds, the bleeding can be just about the same.

I love temping because I have learned SO much about my body. This is how I determined I had luteal phase defect, and was able to bring it up to my doctor. It of course helps with getting the timing right – especially since I O very late in my cycle. But, I'm much older than you are, and have not had a successful term pregnancy yet. So I’m doing everything I can to increase my odds. Try the temping, but put some effort/time restrictions on it so it does not consume you.

Because of the one ovary issue, I think you can expect to not be ovulating half of the time. But again, the only way to know for sure is BBT or seeing a RE that can monitor with an ultrasound. The lack of EWCM tells me you did not ovulate this past cycle, but there are women who ovulate and don’t produce EWCM at all (these are the exceptions, not the rule). So charting is just a really cheap and simple way to find out what’s really going on here.

Either way, don't stress yourself out. You have plenty of time.

[CARLINI]

CJ I would love to see another belly pic! DH and I have not done any estate planning yet, but I'm sure we will when we know a baby is coming for sure. Everyone, ask your employer if estate planning is offered as a benefit. It's included for me with my company sponsored disability plan for free. So ask.

[suzanneyea]

I really encourage you all to do a will. And it does not have to be final, I have changed mine several times.

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by pocahontas

jilly - I didnt know you only have one ovary! What a scary thing to go through at 16yr old. That is amazing that Ben came along so effortlessly, thank you for sharing.

My 3 best girlfriends each had/have their struggles in conceiving, one with multiple miscarriages (2 healthy children though!), the other with nearly 3 yrs of infertility (then 2 kids back to back) and the last one with unexplained infertility (and still no child) so I felt almost guilty with how easy it was with DS that I guess I kind of assumed the next would be too. Nobody in my family has ever had any issues so I didnt know otherwise. I did get pregnant after 6 mo but sadly it ended in miscarriage. I only hope it doesnt take another 6 mo!

There are a couple girls I know who have been struggling to get pregnant and it just breaks my heart to watch them struggle. One works with my husband and then his best friend and his wife. I made sure to tell him to break the news very gently. I feel guilty for getting pregnant so easily too.

Andi I know your baby is just on the horizon, I can just feel it.

Carlini, I hope you're doing better now. Take good care of yourself, did you say you were going to a RE or do I have you mixed up with someone else?

[CARLINI]

Originally Posted by SouthernCJ

I feel guilty for getting pregnant so easily too.

Please don't. Everyone has a cross to bear. Fertility and obesity happen to be my two. Life: we're challenged, we overcome, and get stronger and happier as a result. I know it's going to end well for us.

Yes, it's me that will be seeing an RE. I think we'll wait a few months and take that time to improve our diet and lifestyle. I'm struggling emotionally, but I expect that's just the process of coming to terms with what happened. Thanks for asking.

This thread is always interesting to me because we have a mix of TTC, fertility, pregnant, birth, new baby... all unique situations with their own challenges and questions. I know not everyone here can understand each others situation, but we're all so supportive of each other regardless. And I really enjoy reading everyone's posts, no matter where you are in your journey. Sorry for going on, but I just want you all to realize how much it means to me to have you here to travel the path with.

[Suzie]

Originally Posted by CARLINI

Please don't. Everyone has a cross to bear. Fertility and obesity happen to be my two. Life: we're challenged, we overcome, and get stronger and happier as a result. I know it's going to end well for us.

Yes, it's me that will be seeing an RE. I think we'll wait a few months and take that time to improve our diet and lifestyle. I'm struggling emotionally, but I expect that's just the process of coming to terms with what happened. Thanks for asking.

This thread is always interesting to me because we have a mix of TTC, fertility, pregnant, birth, new baby... all unique situations with their own challenges and questions. I know not everyone here can understand each others situation, but we're all so supportive of each other regardless. And I really enjoy reading everyone's posts, no matter where you are in your journey. Sorry for going on, but I just want you all to realize how much it means to me to have you here to travel the path with.

I agree this is a great thread for support and answers! I having you ladies to share with whenever I want/need to get something out or am curious about something!

Southern CJ - I had the same issue with one of my friends I have known the longest. She had lost a baby back in May and I got pregnant in August. I felt so guilty about it. I held it in for a while. Then, asked her to go to lunch. She knew we were trying and actually asked about it. I told her then. She was so supportive and excited for us, it made it better. I felt awful for a while though!

[suzanneyea]

I tried for nine years to have baby James! I never was upset for my friends getting pregnant easily. We all have our struggles in life. I am naturally very thin. I remember my friends always saying how lucky I am for not gaining weight. They did not realize I thought they were lucky to get pregnant so easily! We all want what we do not have!
Those so are trying. Look at me. I am 41 and finally have my second baby!

[DisneyPrincess]

Originally Posted by suzanneyea

I tried for nine years to have baby James! I never was upset for my friends getting pregnant easily. We all have our struggles in life. I am naturally very thin. I remember my friends always saying how lucky I am for not gaining weight. They did not realize I thought they were lucky to get pregnant so easily! We all want what we do not have!
Those so are trying. Look at me. I am 41 and finally have my second baby!

I have a question for you. Did lc affect your milk supply at all? Do you just make sure to eat 3x a day? I'm debating going lc though I want this weight off now!

[Lori37]

Originally Posted by CARLINI

Please don't. Everyone has a cross to bear. Fertility and obesity happen to be my two. Life: we're challenged, we overcome, and get stronger and happier as a result. I know it's going to end well for us.

Yes, it's me that will be seeing an RE. I think we'll wait a few months and take that time to improve our diet and lifestyle. I'm struggling emotionally, but I expect that's just the process of coming to terms with what happened. Thanks for asking.

This thread is always interesting to me because we have a mix of TTC, fertility, pregnant, birth, new baby... all unique situations with their own challenges and questions. I know not everyone here can understand each others situation, but we're all so supportive of each other regardless. And I really enjoy reading everyone's posts, no matter where you are in your journey. Sorry for going on, but I just want you all to realize how much it means to me to have you here to travel the path with.

[jillybean720]

Days like yesterday make me wonder if I'm insane for even TTC at this point! My day is just go, go, go from the minute I wake up until about 9pm. I get up and get Ben and myself ready in the morning (including planning something for dinner so it can defrost if needed, packing something for lunch at work, feeding Ben, etc.), he and I are in the car at about 8:15, drop him off at daycare at 8:30, then straight to the office until 4pm, go pick Ben up from daycare, come home and sit him in his jumperoo while I feed the dogs and let them out, and then the rest of the evening is filled with making dinner, feeding Ben his dinner, cleaning up from dinner, doing dishes ( gave up on actually washing dishes, so "doing dishes" is loading/unloading/running the dishwasher!), doing laundry (there may be maybe 2 days I week I don't have any laundry going, and that's just for me, Ben, and house stuff since m husband does his own laundry), doing home administrative type stuff (I handle services with contractors, banks, etc., since I have more flexibility to work from home or run errands during the day than my husband does - last night's chore was finalizing some paperwork for Bank of America for a possible mortgage interest rate reduction on our townhouse *fingers crossed*), then get Ben changed for bed...once my husband is home from work around 5:30, he helps with watching Ben, and he feeds Ben his last bottle around 7:30. I keep trying to find other things I can pass off to him to take some of the burden off me, but I just can't think of anything. And we want to add another child to the mix?!

But then I spend time with Ben (he plays catch now! so adorable) and remember that, by the time we would have another baby, Ben will be walking and somewhat better able to communicate with us, able to eat foods without me spoon-feeding him purees, won't need bottles, etc. Plus, I hear from friends that dads tend to get more involved when babies are walking and more able to really "play" and interact. And all the running around and chores and errands is all worth it for the smiles, giggles, and naps together on the couch

Originally Posted by pocahontas

With a 37ish day cycle, I would shoot for "doing the chore" every other day on days 20-29. I have never heard of a luteal phase longer than 16 days so that should cover you.

hehe, I don't say anything to my husband about it all, so he never knows when I'm coming, but we DTD 3 times so far between days 20-29 (today is day 28, hence the "so far" ). It's tough since I'm usually so tired when we go to bed at night. I'll get maybe too personal here and add that I used to actually prefer DTD in the morning, but now I wake up to Ben whining in his crib, so we usually miss that opportunity now.

Originally Posted by CARLINI

Your uterus builds up a lining in an annovulatory cycle just like it would in a normal cycle, so when that lining sheds, the bleeding can be just about the same.

That's exactly what I assumed before looking anything up, that the uterine lining would be shed regardless of egg release. Some sources I came across led me to believe otherwise. Meh.

Originally Posted by CARLINI

Because of the one ovary issue, I think you can expect to not be ovulating half of the time. But again, the only way to know for sure is BBT or seeing a RE that can monitor with an ultrasound. The lack of EWCM tells me you did not ovulate this past cycle, but there are women who ovulate and don’t produce EWCM at all (these are the exceptions, not the rule). So charting is just a really cheap and simple way to find out what’s really going on here.

I am pretty sure I didn't have any EWCM the cycle I conceived Ben (I would have noticed it since I never had it while on birth control), so who knows. I'll try the temping when I get my next period.

Originally Posted by CARLINI

Everyone, ask your employer if estate planning is offered as a benefit. It's included for me with my company sponsored disability plan for free. So ask.

My company has 10 employees. We don't even have disabiliy :P

Originally Posted by CARLINI

This thread is always interesting to me because we have a mix of TTC, fertility, pregnant, birth, new baby... all unique situations with their own challenges and questions. I know not everyone here can understand each others situation, but we're all so supportive of each other regardless. And I really enjoy reading everyone's posts, no matter where you are in your journey. Sorry for going on, but I just want you all to realize how much it means to me to have you here to travel the path with.

Originally Posted by suzanneyea

We all have our struggles in life.

Bottom line

[suzanneyea]

I am zero carb and nursing, I make a ton of milk! So, no supply issues. I do eat about three to five times a day andveat a lot

[DisneyPrincess]

I'm honestly glad we waited until Kyle was a little older and can do things on his own. There have been many times where I've been feeding the baby and just couldn't help him if he was younger. I like the idea of having kids who are close in age but its hard when they are little.

[DisneyPrincess]

Originally Posted by suzanneyea

I am zero carb and nursing, I make a ton of milk! So, no supply issues. I do eat about three to five times a day andveat a lot

Thank you! I think I'm going to give it a whirl once family leaves next week. I know you've had a lot of success with it and with your kiddo

Right now I'm trying to up my supply. I'm pumping only 1-2x a day but only getting about an ounce each time (single pumping now). If I can get that up to 3oz a pump ill be thrilled.

[suzanneyea]

How old is your baby? Try not to pump until at least three months and you have a good supply going. Are you with your baby all day?

[DisneyPrincess]

Originally Posted by suzanneyea

How old is your baby? Try not to pump until at least three months and you have a good supply going. Are you with your baby all day?

She is 2 weeks today. The lactation consultant told me to start pumping now to trick my body into thinking the baby needs more. She said the more I feed and pump the more milk ill produce. Right now I am home with the baby but I don't know for how long and we want dh to be able to feed the baby. We won't be offering a bottle for a while but want to get a stash going. We did this with my son as well and had a month or 2 of milk frozen

[suzanneyea]

I just found pumping painful at the beginning. Now, it does not bother me. Good luck!

[DisneyPrincess]

Originally Posted by suzanneyea

I just found pumping painful at the beginning. Now, it does not bother me. Good luck!

Not painful at all for me and its quick because we have a good pump. I just hope I can keep it up.

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

I'm honestly glad we waited until Kyle was a little older and can do things on his own. There have been many times where I've been feeding the baby and just couldn't help him if he was younger. I like the idea of having kids who are close in age but its hard when they are little.

DP how far apart are your kiddos? We are already wondering about spacing. I work full time (don't plan on stopping, love work) and am wondering if should wait till this one is bigger, or just get it over all in one go. Not sure if we want 2 or 3 but leaning towards 2.


Here I am at 19 weeks, finally starting to pop out a bit! It's really hard to tell I'm pregnant at all if I wear a loose sweater.

[pocahontas]

Originally Posted by SouthernCJ

Andi I know your baby is just on the horizon, I can just feel it.

Thank you, that really means a lot!

Originally Posted by CARLINI

This thread is always interesting to me because we have a mix of TTC, fertility, pregnant, birth, new baby... all unique situations with their own challenges and questions. I know not everyone here can understand each others situation, but we're all so supportive of each other regardless. And I really enjoy reading everyone's posts, no matter where you are in your journey. Sorry for going on, but I just want you all to realize how much it means to me to have you here to travel the path with.

I couldnt agree more!

As for spacing, DH and I originally wanted ours less than 2yr but when DS was 8 mo old, we decided to move up to SF from San Diego and had to put TTC off until I found a new job and my bene's kicked in. It put us back nearly 6 mo and then it took 6 mo to get pg, then I miscarried. It has been a long road and at this point, I will be happy if they are less than 3 yrs apart!

CJ - You are too cute!

[jillybean720]

I think there are ups and downs to any given age gap between kids. I'm sure there are frustrations to be had with having 2 kids under the age of 2 (if I were to become pregnant right now, they'd be about 18 months apart), but I'd rather start trying now than wait and possibly have difficulty getting pregnant. My parents tried to have me 2 years apart from my older sister, and they tried for a couple years and finally threw in the towel (doc actually told them it just wasn't going to happen), and then I came along unexpectedly. My sister and I are a bit over 5 years apart, which is fine now that we're adults, but it was tough at times when we were growing up.

Some people have told me I'm crazy to possibly have 2 kids in diapers at the same time. I see it as getting all the diapers done and over with in a condensed timeframe

[DisneyPrincess]

My kids are 3years and 3 months apart. It's great right now! Kyle is a great big brother and loves "his baby". Lol. I agree though-advantages and disadvantages to both

[SouthernCJ]

Originally Posted by DisneyPrincess

My kids are 3years and 3 months apart. It's great right now! Kyle is a great big brother and loves "his baby". Lol. I agree though-advantages and disadvantages to both

I am thinking that 3 years apart sounds perfect. That would put me at around 28 for the second one and leaves us lots of wiggle room if we want to squeeze in a third before I'm 32. If we wanted to put another 3 years in between the 2nd and 3rd that would keep us from paying for 3 kids in daycare. We'll see how it works out!

If we have a third though, we would have to move (I think). We have a 3br 2ba house. One of the spare bedrooms is gigantic though, and could easily be shared. When DH and I first started talking about kids we both agreed that we would want each kid to have their own room. I REALLY love my house though, great neighborhoood with the best schools, 15 minutes from work. So much to think about I am overwhelmed! Need to relax a bit.