Obese during Pregnancy

[Melle's_Sweetheart]

Hi all....I'm hoping I can get some opinions from the other moms/soon to be moms on this board because I'm having trouble getting "real" advice from people in my life.

I am 39 years old and although I was at my heaviest in March, I was successful at getting pregnant shortly after I began low-carbing. As you will see in my signature, that pregnancy ended up as a tubal and I have since stabilized.

My OB/GYN advised me to wait 6 months before I get pregnant again and I intend to do that.

My dilemma is this: WHile I understand that it's healthy and recommended to lose weight before getting pregnant, is there anyone here who defied that advice? My OBGYN told me I "had no business getting pregnant" at my weight, while I stood crying in his office, post-ectopic pregnancy. This really threw me because my family doctor told me it was fine, only 8 months prior.

I have been advised to lose 90 lbs (22 gone so far) so that I can be treated with fertility meds (if need be) but I'm wondering how much of my OB/GYN's advise is based on his desire to put me on meds, rather than my well-being. Just to give everyone a heads up...I'm doing doctor-assisted low carb right now...I've had bloodwork--all normal, blood pressure is 120/80 and I've had a stress test--all normal.

Since I'm almost 40, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to wait beyond 6 months in order to lose more weight......ideas? Opinions?

[VictoriaLynn]

Originally Posted by Thinby40

Hi all....I'm hoping I can get some opinions from the other moms/soon to be moms on this board because I'm having trouble getting "real" advice from people in my life.

I am 39 years old and although I was at my heaviest in March, I was successful at getting pregnant shortly after I began low-carbing. As you will see in my signature, that pregnancy ended up as a tubal and I have since stabilized.

My OB/GYN advised me to wait 6 months before I get pregnant again and I intend to do that.

My dilemma is this: WHile I understand that it's healthy and recommended to lose weight before getting pregnant, is there anyone here who defied that advice? My OBGYN told me I "had no business getting pregnant" at my weight, while I stood crying in his office, post-ectopic pregnancy. This really threw me because my family doctor told me it was fine, only 8 months prior.

I have been advised to lose 90 lbs (22 gone so far) so that I can be treated with fertility meds (if need be) but I'm wondering how much of my OB/GYN's advise is based on his desire to put me on meds, rather than my well-being. Just to give everyone a heads up...I'm doing doctor-assisted low carb right now...I've had bloodwork--all normal, blood pressure is 120/80 and I've had a stress test--all normal.

Since I'm almost 40, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to wait beyond 6 months in order to lose more weight......ideas? Opinions?

I'm in the same boat as you, except I'm not 39. We are about the same weight. I can't even seem to get my cycle straight anymore. I do have PCOS. I feel like I'm going to have to lose weight to even conceive again. I've already miscarried twice being pregnant at 300 plus pounds. I know there are other women out there though that have had healthy babies at our weight. I just don't think its gonna happen for me unless I do lose.

[wifey]

I don't have any advice but lots of hugs and prayers.

[danielsgirl]

"My OBGYN told me I "had no business getting pregnant" at my weight, while I stood crying in his office, post-ectopic pregnancy. This really threw me because my family doctor told me it was fine, only 8 months prior."

well, first of all the fact that the obgyn told you that you had NO BUSINESS GETTING PREGNANT AT YOUR WEIGHT would have sent me over the edge. I would have told him that he had no business poking around in ladies areas that he had most likely never had a chance to see before becoming a doctor due to his A$$-hole attitude!

How dare he say that! I would go to my regular doctor and ask to be sent to another OBGYN. I REFUSE to see a doctor who insults me! I happen to have 2 wonderful doctors, my obgyn NEVER once blamed the loss of our baby on my weight (which did happen to a friend of mine who used a different doctor) My regular doctor supports my lowcarb choice and my OBGYN actually recommended Low carb to when when I ASKED!

I'm sooooo sooooo very sorry for you loss, and for the rudeness of the doctor. I do think that losing weight now will be good for the baby in the future (that is why I'm losing now as we are TTC) There are many women who get pregnant while being heavy, and they have perfectly healthy babies. Don't automatically assume you will need fertility meds! That doctor sounds a little pill happy! Hubby and I tried for over a year and have not gotten pregnant since we lost our baby, we both sat down with my obgyn and decided to take clomid. I just took my first round and am waiting to see. After our miscarriage my cycles never returned to normal and while they may be normal for a couple of months, I will suddenly skip a month.

I hope you will think about seeing another doctor, someone who treats with professionalism and respect and doesn't insult you and make you cry.

Focus on losing weight, and getting healthier for the baby. I'm sure more people on here will have much better advice than I do, but please know that you deserve more than a rude doctor.

[Melle's_Sweetheart]

I do have PCOS.

So do I, but it only took us 8 months to conceive. This is why I was so concerned that the OBGYN wanted me to lose weight so he could give me fertility meds. I thought 8 months was pretty standard for anyone....

I don't have any advice but lots of hugs and prayers.

Thanks! I really appreciate it. I'm the first of all my friends to get pregnant and I find it difficult to get answers about certain things.

That doctor sounds a little pill happy!

We are very concerned about this. I didn't even chart my ovulation--we just threw caution to the wind and I still managed to get pregnant after 8 months. The doctor told me it was a "fluke". I'm going to him in 3 weeks to do my post-loss check up, but after that, I'm asking for another referral.

This is a doctor who flat out told me that having a child at my weight was child abuse, meanwhile--he has girls on welfare in his office, treating them with fertility meds..... for free (it's $7800 if I decide to do this)....GRRRRRR.....so, being FAT is child abuse but bringing a child into a family that doesn't have the means to support it is a-ok.......

[susique333]

Being severely overweight during pregnancy can exacerbate certain conditions like diabetes, high blood pressure, premature delivery and heart trouble. I was 40 yrs old and 230#s with my last child and all 4 conditions hit me at once. I ended up in the ICU at delivery and my son was life flighted to Kansas City. I had developed a condition called pregnancy induced Cardiomyopathy, due to my weight.

On the other note, I think the more weight you lose the better your odds of conceiving without the use of meds. 2 of my grown daughters didnt ovulate when they were heavy but with lowcarbing normalized their cycles.

[pocahontas]

I am obese and 14 weeks pregnant. I had lost 40lbs before we started TTC but I am 32 and didnt want to wait any longer in case it took a while. Lo and behold we were pregnant very fast!

My Dr. is strict with me about my weight but at my 12 wk appt I had actually lost 6lbs even though I endulged in a bit of bread because I couldnt stomache much meat. She doesnt want me to focus on losing but wants me to focus on maintaining. A close eye needs to be kept on my weight and we both know it. She never once told me that it was wrong of me to get pg at my weight. She only wants me to really watch the weight gain, 10lbs can sneak up on ya fast! She is also very encouraging as far as my doing a LC maintenance plan, asked that I continue with my walking and highly recommended the water aerobics that I inquired about.

Its a personal choice and honestly I wish I had lost more before I got pg but I was not willing to put it off. So far I have done well at maintaining my weight and keeping as active as I can.

I would look into finding a new OBGYN regardless, your sounds like a tool. In the meantime, get back to LC and back to losing. Once you have waited the required time for your body to heal from the ectopic you can decide where to go from there.

[sfmama123]

Hi Hun,

First of all, *hugs*. I understand your struggles. I had PCOS; conceived within three months after lowcarbing in 2004; I was approximately 285 when I got pregnant, and when I gave birth, I was over 360.

My ob/gyns were cool guys, who delivered their receptionist's twins and she was over 400 pounds. However, they referred me to a high-risk ob who was horrible. She also berated me, told me how unhealthy I was, made me cry, and then said to me and dh "well, we can just abort the baby you know..." (I was about 17 weeks along at this point). Needless to say, I hated her. I did get gestational diabetes and had to inject lots of insulin, and I also had to stay on modified bedrest for other issues I had, which was hell. All that being said, I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby at 37 weeks. A lot of obese women are getting pregnant and having babies-it would be ideal if we all lost weight before we got pregnant, of course-but given the increasing prevalence of overweight and obese people in our society, it's just a fact that obese women are going to get pregnant, and are going to have babies.

Having been through it though, if I knew how hard pregnancy would be in my mid-30's, let alone as a morbidly obese woman, I probably would have taken six months and put the pedal to the metal to get as much weight off as possible. It's just really hard to move around with all that weight and a baby-plus the evil ob that I had put many scary thoughts into my head that caused me a lot of stress, which I could have done without!

In any event, best to you in your journey and efforts.

[VictoriaLynn]

I do want to add how she treated you was ridiculous though. My doctor had told me she would not advise me getting pregnant at my weight, but never told me 'I had no business getting pregnant at my weight.' I would have been furious and probably changed doctors had she said something like that.

The only reason I brought up I had PCOS is because when mine really acts up I do not ovulate and without that I won't get pregnant. When I do ovulate I have no trouble getting pregnant. But having PCOS puts you at a higher risk for miscarriage and I've already had two (and still no babies), this is the only reason I want to lose weight first. I can't bear to go through it again. (and that is not to say I won't even if I do lose weight, but I want to lower my chances as much as possible.)

Whatever you choose to do. Good luck and I hope you get the baby you want! *hugs!*

[Luvanurse443]

I have PCOS....and have 2 wonderful children! I was obese both pregnancies...My first I only gained 18 pounds. My second I gained 32.

I really cannot believe the way you were treated at such a time in your life.

with my first I was ok, the second I developed a lot of varicose veins, from the extra weight. I think you would do fine....just watch your weight and carbs. I am larger than you...I think you should find a new OB, follow your heart, and go for it! Many dr's just want to put patients on meds and be done with it. I am a nurse, I know this first hand.

Best of luck with what you decide

[Jessica2]

To be sure you are eating healthy and getting all that you both need, ask your doctor to send you to a nutritionist. You certainly can stay healthy and possibly lose some weight also with the proper support. Exercise is also very important. You should try for an hour a day of walking, something you can do throughout your pregnancy and it will help you with delivery too. You will probably need vitamins, though.
Great going! You can do it!

[Potaty]

Losing weight will help you feel a lot better during your pregnancy. I can see your point but I can also see your doctor's point (although I think he is a bit of a jerk!). Since there is a recommended 6 month wait after a tubal, just focus on eating low carb; losing 30 pounds and getting you back in the 200s will make a huge difference! Don't focus on the 90 lbs, that is silly given your situation and desire to be a mommy! Just take your 6 months, fully commit to your plan and then go on to have a healthy, happy pregnancy and if I were you, I'd fire your doctor. Good luck!!!!!

PS~Come join us on the Getting Healthy for Baby thread!!!!

[NikiTTC]

Hi ladies! I am new here, and just HAD to register and post on this thread. I am newly LCing and have been TTC for 4 years. I started taking Fertility Blend and I was pregnant! They ended in a miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy the following month, and after MANY failed Clomid with IUI cycles. I am JUST moving onto IVF.

Why I wanted to post was my experience with the prejudice against overweight women in the fertility treatment world. I want to let every woman who experiences this to move on. I went to about 3 different reproductive endocrinologists until I found this one.

I am confident LCing will help my IVF be successful! Anyway, the important thing is I feel great! My Blood sugar is better and PCOS symptoms starting to subside. I love LC! I feel... right.

Here is an article I wanted to share.

Infertility and Overweight Women | FertilityTies

About me:
I have Diabetes and PCOS. I am on 1000 mg Metformin 2x a day and a BP med.
I went to a specialist ( Maternal Fetal Medicine) They gave me the green light to undergo fertility treatment even with High BP and Diabetes. There ARE specialist out there that will monitor you and help you, who know what they are doing. If you are at risk for complications and are trying, get established with a specialist, that way you can be proactive and cut off any high risk pregnancy problems before they happen.
I am not saying don't lose weight before getting pregnant, I am sure that is the healthiest thing we can do.

Ps. Thinby40 you should try FertilAid or Fertilityblend it totally helped me!

[Kaimi2008]

Originally Posted by Thinby40

My OBGYN told me I "had no business getting pregnant" at my weight, while I stood crying in his office, post-ectopic pregnancy. This really threw me because my family doctor told me it was fine, only 8 months prior.

First of all, what an insensitive doctor. I'm sorry he said this to you especially after an ectopic.

Personally, I was 190 pounds @ 5'6" and there was NO way I wanted to even get pregnant at that weight. I did lose 30+ pounds before we started and kept the weight off since 1995 and I could stand to lose about 15-20 more pounds.

I thought for sure I felt great and did the right thing by watching what I ate during my first pg. and exercising to the "T" but I ended up having gestational diabetes. It DID go away after my little one was born. Thank god.

Today, I was diagnosed with having GD again. I will pick up my stuff today at the pharmacy. I know that I can do this like before. I think I only had 2 high readings and knew exactly what I ate. I will continue to walk and do what the doctor says in order for this to be a successful twin pg. I thank god that my blood pressure is 'perfect' because I can't imagine myself trying to juggle high blood pressure, diabetes, etc...with being overweight. That's my personal experience and like I said...I would have never tried to get pg. at 190 - the weight was uncomfortable for me and I'm sure it would have been even worse if I added on 25+ pounds or so.

Best of luck, I will be following your story!! All the best!!

[Kaimi2008]

Originally Posted by NikiTTC

Hi ladies! I am new here, and just HAD to register and post on this thread. I am newly LCing and have been TTC for 4 years. I started taking Fertility Blend and I was pregnant! They ended in a miscarriage and a chemical pregnancy the following month, and after MANY failed Clomid with IUI cycles. I am JUST moving onto IVF.

I agree, go find a doctor that will treat you instead of treating you badly. You don't need it. Grrrr. especially when you already go through so much!!
I'm sorry for your losses. All the best with your upcoming IVF cycle.

[hockey_gal]

Change doctors

Lose as much weight as you can

Then if you feel ready and you want to get pregnant - then do it. Every year your chances dwindle and with PCOS or other factors they might even be lower. You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering if you hadn't waited if things would be different.

I have PCOS and I didn't wait (but I didn't have a weight issue - it was a money issue for us). Will I ever regret my beautiful son? No.

Just make sure that you do everything you can to stay healthy now and thru any potential pregnancies.

Bright blessings to you,

Deanne.

[pocahontas]

Just wanted to post an update that I am now halfway through my pregnancy and have only gained 4lbs. I havent had any problems except the occasional swollen ankles. It is possible to gain very little weight when you are pregnant if you are starting out with some extra fluff. Walking and eating whole foods have been the ticket for me.

How are you doing? Did you find a new doctor?

[DooneBug]

I was 175 - 205 for all of my pregnancies. I think I gained at the most, 32 pounds. My babies were 6.9 - 8.4, but they were 3-4 weeks early. I didn't have any of the diabetes issues, but I did develop heart palpatations and tunnel vision with the last pregnancy.

I think your doctor is insensitive and should be replaced. But that's because he's a jerk. You should take into consideration what he is trying to say. He SEES pregnancies of all kinds in his practice and since you have no history to refer to when guessing how you will come through a pregnancy, it's all red flags.

I can't tell you to throw away all caution and get pregnant. You could develop full blown diabetes and need hospitalization. Or nothing could happen. But the issue is that once you conceive that child, he/she deserves the best start possible and a sick mommy who could require an early c-section is not the best start.

I wish you the best. I know how much it aches. But an investment of six months to bring your weight down and your health up could be the first parenting decision that you make. Right now, it's all about you and what you want. But after you're pregnant, that child needs your best.

[paulav99]

I was 240lbs when I got pregnant with DD, and about 290 when I got pregnant with this one. I was diagnosed with PCOS about 8 years ago and it only took us 2 tries each time to get pregnant. I was on Metformin and also charted so we knew exactly what days to try.

My DR did tell me that being overweight during pregnany could have added complications, but it's not impossible.

[NikiTTC]

Hi ladies!

I just wanted to update! We did IVF last month I'm at 251 pounds. This is the 3rd Dr. I've tried out. The first 2 asked me to lose 20-50 pounds till they touch me. It's depressing to hear that, and not true! I hope you found a good Dr. Since your first post.

Before I started LC I was around 273 ish. I added more carbs and the Dr. Has asked I go back to LC because of elevated sugars. ( I'm diabetic ) I'm back down to good sugars after 2 days of Atkins induction, now plan to add low carb tortillas and more veggies. I gotta find my balance here. Anyway it's worth mentioning that the Dr. told me it's fine to LC while pregnant, your prescription prenatals are more than enough nutrients. I am 5 weeks 5 days. Hcg doubled then tripled! Had an ultrasound and saw the gestational sac. I can't believe after 4 years and 2 MCs we are looking great and really hopeful.

[Qsmum]

Let me start with this... I was 345lbs and 41 years old when I got pregnant, had high-blood pressure and 2 years before had a virus that weakend my heart muscle. I had a problem free pregnancy even though I had to see a high-risk ob and a cardiologist. Lucky for me, I have one of the most caring general practioners in the world. When I found I was pregnant, we talked about the HB and the affected heart and that it would be dangerous, he didn't make any judgement, just told me call me tomorrow and let me know what you want to do. When I told him I was having the baby, he referred me to a high-risk ob and said to my husband that if his wife was at any type of risk, this is where he would send her. He was fantastic. He was not only a high-risk ob specialist, he was head of the ob med training at the medical school and head of the hospital ob department. We talked for 2.5 hours my first visit over what risks were and the worst case scenario. Of particular interest was about losing weight, he asked if I had lost any significant amount of weight in the previous 6 months, well I had lost 20 lbs, which at over 300 is not significant. He said this was good and while he wanted me to keep my weight gain to under 40lbs, under no circumstances should I try to lose weight. I thought this was odd, but went along with it. I did not develop gestational diabetes and my blood pressure was a little high, but not alarmingly so. I gave birth to a full term 8lb+ baby boy.

I go through all this to let you know that all ob/gyn do not have this attitude. There are plenty of women who have uneventful pregnancies being morbidly obese (including me). It seems (at least to me) that dieting may have a worse effect than the weight. If you research, as I did, you will find that the percentage of complications of the obese preggo is less than 2 percentage points higher than the non-obese, and the rate of "new conditions" (such as gestational diabeties) is actually more a factor of family history and age (younger moms more than average or older).

While I was pregnant, I happened on this website. It not only brought me peice of mind, but tempered my expectations so that I didn't react as emotionally with fatphobics in the medical field and learned what correct questions to ask so that everything was not attributed to my being obese. Hope this helps.

Plus-Size Pregnancy Website Index

[NikiTTC]

qsmum thanks for sharing your story. It is awesome & reassuring to hear a positive story! I for one am scared to $h1t of complications due to weight or type 2 diabetes. Hearing successful stories like yours really helps ease my worries!

[Qsmum]

Not a problem, glad I could help. Go visit the website, it helped ease some of my anxiety.

[heartchya]

I was about 245 when I got pregnant with my 21 month old dd. I had no issues. Had a natural birth and everything went very smoothly. My Dr. never once brought up my weight. I kept it under control though and only gained about 20 pounds. I actually ended up a few pounds less once I had her but have now been stuck at this weight.

It did take us a year to conceive and I do believe this could of been shorter with weight loss. My cycles were very long. Even just a 10-20 pound loss can help with making ovulation more regular.

[Potaty]

Heartchya: at the risk of sounding like a stalker, do you post on tww? I recognize your user name (I pretty much just lurk there).

[Melle's_Sweetheart]

Hi all!

I just found this thread again today and I wanted to let all of you know that I haven't been successful in conceiving yet, but I have lost 48 lbs (since my tubal pregnancy--I was up to 347)and I have an appointment with another OB/GYN on June 18th.

I'm hoping my PCOS is under control (have been strictly low carbing since March '11) and I hope that the OB/GYN will give me clomid, despite the fact that I'm about 49 lbs from my "goal" of 250lbs.

Thank you all so much for inspiring me---I thought that being morbidly obese was a virtual death sentence for pregnancy.

Wish me luck!!!

[debkeversole]

i was over 300 pounds with both my boys (5 years apart) and delievered healthy full term babies both time good luck!

[RedheadNJ]

I was obese when I was pregnant with Peyton, had no complications what-so-ever. In fact, I lost 20 pounds during the pregnancy. I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant now and about the same weight as with Peyton. I'm sure this will be fine also.

[brooke&kaitlynsmom]

OMG... i'm sorry you have such an A$$ who plays ob/gyn! get rid of that "doc". that being said, i am 41. i was diagnosed with pcos around the time i was or 24 or 25. i had already had my first baby at 20. they told me i would need to have fertility treatments to have anymore. i have been heavy my whole life, starting as a 13+lb baby. i have always been large. after being diagnosed with pcos, i was started on clomid 1pill a day. that was increased until i was taking 4 a day each month and the ob/gyn finally said that i would need something more serious. i couldn't afford it so i just got more depressed and ate and ate. finally, when my first child was 13 i gave birth to my second. i was 33 and around 220lb. 16 mths later, had baby number 3 while 35 and approx 250lb. baby number 4 when i was 38 and approx 270. #5 came last year when i was 40 and my weight finally toppled over 300. i tell you all this to let you see that my weight steadily increased with each prenancy, along with my age. NO ONE ever mentioned my weight as being a risk issue for my babies. EVER. what they did tell me was that A) at my age, downs syndrome was a risk, but i told them i would NOT being terminating any of my pregnancies if any of them showed risk factors AND B) my weight would be a risk factor in developing all of the problems that can develop with pregnancy (blood pressure, diabetes, etc yada yada) thing is, these can develop in ANY woman while pregnant, no matter her size, weight, etc. Please note that i did not develop ANY of these problems with any of my pregnancies. now i'm not saying that you won't either, but still, it can happen to anybody.

Oh and by the way, all my pregnancies ended with happy, HEALTHY babies, being born vaginally, 1, 2, and 3 with IV pain killers, 4, vaginally with epidural, and 5 was a c-section so that they could tie my tubes.... i was afraid that my "apron" would hinder the healing of my incision, but it didn't. i have no scar except for a little dot the size of a mosquito bite that is located where the left end of the incision was.

Please don't let rude obnoxious drs, make the finaly decision in your health or your reproductive health. my best advice to you would be to continue to low carb and lose what you can, and if you get pregnant in the meantime, which i believe you will, then congrats and enjoy it. i think the reason for the 6 months wait that the dr recommended was so that your body can heal after the tubal, but i'm not sure. but, again, i am sorry this person calls himself a dr and was so hateful to you. best thing to do is to check around now for one and make sure they are someone that listens and will work with you, that way, when you get pregnant, you will have an OB that you can respect and that you can trust.

[waarala2]

Hello all,
I too want to get pregnant now and I weigh as of yesterday 303lbs. I am afraid and hopeful. I have started a weight loss regimen several times and have lost, then gained then lost. Currently I am following Weight Watcher guidelines.

I try to eat healthy. I am active. I have a daughter who is almost 3 years old and she is the most happy, healthy wonderful daughter anyone could dream of. I bike, i workout and I play and run and have fun with my daughter in spite of my weight!

She was born vaginally and I had no complications with my pregnancy and birth (despite having issues with bipolar disorder) I have gained weight since having her. I was 240lbs when I got pregnant with her, 274lbs when I had her and quickly lost is all when she was born, then gained it all back and then some after suffering a long depression a year after she was born.

While it wasn’t an easy road with the depression, I wouldn’t change it anyway! She is everything to us.

We are ready for baby number 2 now. Everything in our lives is saying its time. My daughter was born to be a big sister and I so want give our family what its longing for. We have decided to start trying despite not losing the 60lbs I set out to lose at the beginning of the year.

I am hopeful and cautious. I have started taking Folic Acid, cutting caffeine out (down under one beverage a day) and I am taking a vitamin D calcium supplement with a multivitamin. I am walking or biking everyday.

I am convinced I can do this. I am seeing my primary care provider Thursday and I am SO SO SO nervous!

We want another baby so bad. Wish us luck!