Emotional side of overweight

tiff22585 · 06-18-2008, 03:31 PM

Well, here is my issue. My husband is not as attracted to me because of my weight. It all started a few months ago...(that I know of). I have had so many problems with weight gain from birth control. I managed to lose about 25 lbs the first year we were together with the low carb diet, but I have put it all back on.
It was not a fast gain, but it has slowly crept back. I weigh close to the same as when we first met. I started noticing that he seemed to look at me different, so I confronted him. He told me that he saw a picture of me when I had lost some weight and realized how much better I looked. He said my weight made him less attracted to me. Now, I am confused. It was really hard for me to lose weight with this diet because I always craved carbs-- even beans and grapes! I could manage to stick with the diet, but then I would end up cheating here and there. I don't know how I still managed to lose weight. I guess these are 2 separate issues. I want to lose weight for me- not him. However, I think it is really important for your husband to be attracted to you! I feel pretty depressed and hopeless. If I can't even stick with a diet... is my husband going to leave me or start being attracted to other women? Sorry to write so much, just needed to vent.

mobykat · 06-18-2008, 06:45 PM

hi, Im sorry you have to deal with this. this is really wrong on your husbands side. You need to do this for yourself and keep your husbands 'ideal' out of it. This is for your health, so take it babysteps at a time, and hey if you cant do low carb, find something you can do. If you love carbs, then maybe look at weight watchers. I know it would have to be difficult, but the more you focus on what he wants, the longer the emotional rollercoaster will go. Please make sure you are posting often, and feel free to vent. There is lots of support on here. ((hugs))

scandalouslyglam · 06-22-2008, 08:04 AM

Vent away. I am sure you are very sad right now, and I know when Im sad I want to eat. Alot. Everything. But don't do it.

You ARE in control and you CAN lose the weight. Don't do it because hubby's not attracted to you, do it for you.

I can't believe that your husband is that insensitive. It also makes no sense to me that he is more attracted to a photo than the ACTUAL woman he fell in Love with.

I'm sorry. Good luck with whichever dietplan you choose

yogabootygoddess · 06-23-2008, 05:00 PM

Ugh I dont understand men. Seriously beans and grapes give yourself a break at least you were eating something natural instead of a snickers bar. Can you get a non hormonal Birth Control?I used a IUD copper and I didnt get the weight gain side affects from it like I did the others............I should be the last person to give advice but can you buy some Protein shakes and bars to eat when you get a craving??? Tell your DH that his complaining is not going to help with emotional eating . you are a beautiful lady take care of you.I am bitter of men I think most are jerks so thats why my post sounds this way LOL

godsbeloved79 · 06-24-2008, 12:44 PM

Hi tiff,

My DH hasn't actually stated anything to me, but I'm quite sure he would love to see me at my before weight. I have messed up on and off with this WOE, but this time I chose to do it for "Me". Not saying that a wife doesn't want to look HOT for her husband, but look at it in a health perspective and make sure that you are happy with it.

I would suggest Weight Watchers as mentioned above, if Atkins isn't manageable.

weezie1581 · 06-26-2008, 12:13 PM

Tiff~

It is always hard when someone has something negative to say...sometimes you have to let them say it but tell them how you feel when they do say stuff like that.

my dh is an awesome supporter of whatever plan I choose to do. but when I am down on me he says he loves me no matter what size I am...when we met I was heavy and I am heavy now (but also pg

) he says you are the only one who can change you and that is so true...your dh needs to be supportive...but if not, we are here

LRJ · 07-03-2008, 12:27 PM

Tiff, I use to go through a lot of the same things. They are so right, you have to come to a point that you do it for you, your health and your happiness, if you do it for your husband or others, no matter how much weight you lose you will not be truely happy within you.

06-18-2008, 03:31 PM	#1
tiff22585 Junior LCF Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 9 Gallery: tiff22585	Emotional side of overweight Well, here is my issue. My husband is not as attracted to me because of my weight. It all started a few months ago...(that I know of). I have had so many problems with weight gain from birth control. I managed to lose about 25 lbs the first year we were together with the low carb diet, but I have put it all back on. It was not a fast gain, but it has slowly crept back. I weigh close to the same as when we first met. I started noticing that he seemed to look at me different, so I confronted him. He told me that he saw a picture of me when I had lost some weight and realized how much better I looked. He said my weight made him less attracted to me. Now, I am confused. It was really hard for me to lose weight with this diet because I always craved carbs-- even beans and grapes! I could manage to stick with the diet, but then I would end up cheating here and there. I don't know how I still managed to lose weight. I guess these are 2 separate issues. I want to lose weight for me- not him. However, I think it is really important for your husband to be attracted to you! I feel pretty depressed and hopeless. If I can't even stick with a diet... is my husband going to leave me or start being attracted to other women? Sorry to write so much, just needed to vent.

06-18-2008, 06:45 PM	#2
mobykat Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Brissy,Australia Posts: 488 Gallery: mobykat	hi, Im sorry you have to deal with this. this is really wrong on your husbands side. You need to do this for yourself and keep your husbands 'ideal' out of it. This is for your health, so take it babysteps at a time, and hey if you cant do low carb, find something you can do. If you love carbs, then maybe look at weight watchers. I know it would have to be difficult, but the more you focus on what he wants, the longer the emotional rollercoaster will go. Please make sure you are posting often, and feel free to vent. There is lots of support on here. ((hugs)) __________________ You are born an original..dont die a copy 15/11/07 - 260 11/05/08 - 277 First goal...get back on the wagon (12/10/08, done..) 2nd goal....240 280 277 275 273 270 265 260 255 250 245 240

06-26-2008, 12:13 PM	#6
weezie1581 Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Pontiac, MI Posts: 154 Gallery: weezie1581 Stats: 290/pregnant/not sure WOE: Healthy :D Start Date: Can't remember	Tiff~ It is always hard when someone has something negative to say...sometimes you have to let them say it but tell them how you feel when they do say stuff like that. my dh is an awesome supporter of whatever plan I choose to do. but when I am down on me he says he loves me no matter what size I am...when we met I was heavy and I am heavy now (but also pg ) he says you are the only one who can change you and that is so true...your dh needs to be supportive...but if not, we are here __________________ Don't take life so seriously, you're not going to get out alive anyways. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

06-22-2008, 08:04 AM	#3
scandalouslyglam MAJOR LCF POSTER! Join Date: May 2007 Location: Portland, Me Posts: 1,670 Gallery: scandalouslyglam Stats: 226/209/195 Long term goal 175 WOE: Atkins Start Date: September 1, 2007	Vent away. I am sure you are very sad right now, and I know when Im sad I want to eat. Alot. Everything. But don't do it. You ARE in control and you CAN lose the weight. Don't do it because hubby's not attracted to you, do it for you. I can't believe that your husband is that insensitive. It also makes no sense to me that he is more attracted to a photo than the ACTUAL woman he fell in Love with. I'm sorry. Good luck with whichever dietplan you choose

06-23-2008, 05:00 PM	#4
yogabootygoddess Junior LCF Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 10 Gallery: yogabootygoddess	Ugh I dont understand men. Seriously beans and grapes give yourself a break at least you were eating something natural instead of a snickers bar. Can you get a non hormonal Birth Control?I used a IUD copper and I didnt get the weight gain side affects from it like I did the others............I should be the last person to give advice but can you buy some Protein shakes and bars to eat when you get a craving??? Tell your DH that his complaining is not going to help with emotional eating . you are a beautiful lady take care of you.I am bitter of men I think most are jerks so thats why my post sounds this way LOL

06-24-2008, 12:44 PM	#5
godsbeloved79 Atkineer For Life Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Pompano Bch, FL Posts: 13,191 Gallery: godsbeloved79 Stats: 207/197.5/162 WOE: Atkins Start Date: 3/5/08	Hi tiff, My DH hasn't actually stated anything to me, but I'm quite sure he would love to see me at my before weight. I have messed up on and off with this WOE, but this time I chose to do it for "Me". Not saying that a wife doesn't want to look HOT for her husband, but look at it in a health perspective and make sure that you are happy with it. I would suggest Weight Watchers as mentioned above, if Atkins isn't manageable.

07-03-2008, 12:27 PM	#7
LRJ Senior LCF Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 60 Gallery: LRJ	Tiff, I use to go through a lot of the same things. They are so right, you have to come to a point that you do it for you, your health and your happiness, if you do it for your husband or others, no matter how much weight you lose you will not be truely happy within you.