*Getting Healthy for Baby* June

[Stinkerbelle]

Originally Posted by Nik

Amm...That's what my ovulation pain felt like. Good luck, girl!

Belle: I lost my virginity while "watching" The Little Mermaid. Keep an eye out!

The dog peed on the carpet again! AH!

YIKES!!!! The Little Mermaid will never be the same! It's all good...DD knows I am not going to tolerate any shananigans. It is so hard to let her out of my sight though- only becuz of the way society is nowadays. I know I need to trust her but... scary stuff!

[Potaty]

Girls, I need help. I don't know if I am experiencing postpartum depression or if my husband is just a big donkey, but I've been down in the dumps for a while now. I really think it's the latter. He spends almost no time with me and Tucker (he works a lot) and when he is with us, he isn't really "with us" (i.e. he is sleeping, or watching tv). On weekends, he is out in the garage or he fills his days with helping friends do this or that.

I am the type who likes to go on walks in the evening, sit outside, play with the dogs, etc. He is the type that comes home from work and is so tired (he is overweight and has sleep apnea) that he falls asleep immediately after dinner most nights. I am so lonely, I can't stand it. He also pretty much forgot Mother's Day (my first ) and did nothing for me on my 30th bday. I am someone who loves, and even craves attention so those were very hurtful to me as I saw both of them as milestones.

Tucker doesn't even really know who he is. He's at the age where he can recognize people and so far he reacts to me, my sis, my mom and Ry's mom. He know's Ry's voice and will look for him if he hears it, but he doesn't spend enough time with him to give a big grin when he sees him. That kills me. I am not exaggerating when I say my husband saw/held Tucker for about 15 minutes TOTAL last week (not including our bday party). I feel like a single parent. Now, I know that if I was truly a single parent I would also be working, and I am grateful he has a good job, but it just makes me sad. He was very uninvolved in the pregnancy, I was just hoping he would be different when the baby arrived (he told me he would be). At first, he was wonderful, giving baths, changing diapers, wanting to hold him. Now that the newness has worn off....not so much.

My point is (yes, there is one, lol) that I am emotional eater. My weight gain has nothing to do with being a new mommy but has everything to do with how lonely I feel. No, today was not a success eating wise. I don't know what to do. I have talked to him a couple of times but nothing changes.

I don't know if anyone has any advice for me or not. I think what I need to do is just go ahead and do things how I would do them if he wasn't around. For example, eat dinner at a set time each night instead of waiting for him to get off work (sometimes we eat dinner as late as 10pm!), he can just reheat the meal. Go ahead and go on the walk with Tucker, don't even ask him to go because I already know he won't. Maybe by going ahead and living how I want to live, he will eventually join me. But I need to be prepared for the fact that he may never care to.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent and I will be attempting induction again tomorrow....wish me luck!

[AsmallerME]

Hey ladies. I'm back from my weekend trip. It was exciting, exhausting, and wonderful all at the same time.

I might miss some important stuff, but I'll try my best to catch up.

Katy - My suggestion is to print off this last post and show it to your husband. Or at least sit down and express these feelings. He's a new dad and might be struggling with the role too and not sure how to act. He might not know you feel this way. Hopefully he can make more of a conscious effort to get involved and have some activity time with Tuker and more quality time with you. Maybe ask him to spend 30 minutes a night playing with Tuker so you can get some alone time? As for your birthday pictures, you look amazingly beautiful. Don't beat yourself up over the weight gain. I seriously would never guess your weight and I think you're one hawt mommy!

Belle - I'm glad DD went to counseling. Hopefully it just gets better and better each week for her and she can really open up with her feelings. I'm sure the carrots were fine - it was really only 1-3 baby carrots shredded at the max. (it sounds like) and that's nothing. You're doing great!

Nik - I love hearing your updates with baby. It sounds like things are moving along fantastically. When do you have your next appointment?

Amm - it sounds like you're about to O. My O fluctuates greatly from month to month. I can O anywhere from CD28 to CD40. Yep, I have long, sucky cycles. The pain plus EWCM sounds very promising. Plus with the OPKs, I'd be BDing up a storm these next few days. After 3 high temps on FF, you'll get a confirmed O date. Good luck!!!!

Kat - I can't wait for you to be here more often. Of course I mean that in the most selfish way possible. And I'm sure you aren't scary in a bathing suit. You'll look gorgeous now but in a few weeks you will even look better if you keep to exercising and eating right.

Hi to everyone else! I need to get ready for work and out of the house. I'm sure my desk is loaded with stuff since I've been gone the past few days.

I had my 4th JC WI yesterday night. I am down another 3 for a total of 14 in 1 month. It's crazy. I'm not sure how I'm down 3 yesterday though. I only see 1.5-2 on my scale from this week. Maybe it was the clothes I was wearing? Either way, I'm taking it!

[Stinkerbelle]

Po- Honey..I am so sorry you are going thru this. My initial thought was that maybe DH is having a hard time adjusting to Daddy life. You have the right idea (and I should follow in your foot steps) about doing things for you and Tucker- go on those walks- eat your dinner at dinner time. I am sure DH will come around. It is important to not hold your feelings in. Maybe write DH a letter and then tell him you are going to go out for a little while. Leave Tucker with him. Come back in an hour or so and ask him if he wants to talk about it. Keep the letter postive and non-accusing- men dont handle criticism well!

Take care of yourself- I was an emotional eater as well but somehow I am trying to refocus on the control I have when I am eating LC. If I cant have control of what my DH does or how my DD feels, dang it, I am going to control my eating habits! Start a journal..

I am so sorry you are feeling lonely and you are right, those were milestones in your life he missed. I swear men are just so different from women- sometimes they just dont see how important these things are..

We are here for you...big hugs....I have to get ready for work but I am sure other ladies will pop in with great advice! BBL...

Amber- holy crap you are disappearing on JC!! You go girl!!

[amlundie]

Katy - Hugs sweetie! I don't have time to say much but I have lots and lots of hugs for you! Take care of yourself!

today's weigh in was 230 last sat it was 228 so who knows... but I'll stick with the official 230.

Have a good one!

[LuckyKitty]

Katy - no earth moving advice here, but I think you're on the right track by taking care of yourself and living the life that YOU need to live. I agree with Belle that you should be open in a non-judgmental way with him, but regardless of what he does or doesn't do, you need to take care of you first (yes, mama, first ) it's the only way you'll be able to really give Tucker what he needs. I really think that some men's brains are wired to take it for granted when we start turning our worlds upside down for them. Even married men need a little "chase" (ok, probably not the right word, but you get my meaning). The more you push, the more likely he is to pull away or not reciprocate, but if you show him that you're going to do your thing and not necessarily be around to bend to his whims, he's likely to realize he needs to be doing some work in this relationship too. I feel you on the emotional eating thing. It's the bain of my existence , but acknowledging what's happening and making a committment to yourself and your health (for Tucker, if not for yourself) will not only help you move forward with addressing those issues, but will help you feel better overall and be better equipped emotionally to deal with whatever stressors life (or DH) throw at you.

Worst case scenario, you come join Belle and I (and anyone else who wants to come ) for martinis - don't worry, you can pump n dump so Tucker doesn't have to martini with us I'm here if you need to talk

to my ladies! Got my camp schedule done last night I leave Saturday and my to-do list just gets bigger but I really can't wait. The Domain always recharges me, so I should come back refreshed and ready to kick some booty (or kick OFF some booty, either way ).

to you all!

[obraxton]

Katy, can you talk to him, tell him how you feel? Men can be so bone-headed some times, you don't know if it's intentional or not. Maybe, he has some fears about being a dad. Whatever you do, now would be the time than when Tucker is older and there's no relationship as a family. I don't know what to tell you, I fear that with DH sometimes too, he's a great guy, but I tend to feel lonely, and wonder if its depression d/t pg. It can be difficult, I know b/c men and women are so different. Just don't give up, keep trying and keep loving, and try to make yourself as clear as possible. Even if you have to put it down in a letter, that seems to work for me.

[godsbeloved79]

Hi Ladies,

Doing a quick drive by as I'm busy at work today. Thinking of you lovely ladies, and praying that whatever the issue is in our lives, GOD is able to fix, mend, and restore.

Katy - I have the same problems with DH, he is loving; BUT our ways just aren't the same. I'm laid back and like walks, cuddling, and snuggling. It will work itself out in it's timing.

[Potaty]

Thanks everyone, it helped a lot to vent about it. And I think my plan of just going on with what I want to do instead of being down in the dumps that he won't join me is a good one. Short on time right now so I am copying an email I sent to my mom and sis (they are trying to lose weight too)

"I just wanted to share that today I was a good girl despite my intentions. I was loading Tucker into the car to go get Sonic. I was tired and starving and wanted a pop so bad. I pulled into Sonic and Tucker was fussy so I decided to drive a little further so he'd fall asleep. I ended up at McD's in Derby fully intending to order crap to eat. I suddenly thought about 4th of July and how if I made good decisions, I could be a little bit smaller by then. Then I thought about the fall and how I love that time of year and how great it would be to have some cozy cute new clothes to wear in a smaller size. Then I ordered a caesar salad with grilled chicken and iced tea with splenda.

I took it home and ate it. Then instead of taking my usual (as of late anyways) 2 hour nap with Tucker, I loaded him in the stroller and set a walking goal of one hour. I walked for 1 hour, 10 min. while Tucker took his nap in the stroller."

[godsbeloved79]

WTG Katy .

[Stinkerbelle]

Po- good for you! These are the baby steps we need to take everyday..I wish I lived near you so we could walk together! I also wish I lived near Kat so I could have that martini! I wish I lived near all you wonderful gals!!

Today has been okay for me..a bit on the soccer stressed side of life. My DD's team is going to Maine for a Champiopnship and it is very expensive. So hard for me to justify spending the money when she isnt playing. But, I am also the team manager so I am expected to attend...grr...we shall see..

Menu today:
B- 1 egg, 2 breakfast sausages
S- iced coffee w/cream
L- 4 spinach/feta stuffed mushrooms
S- iced coffee w/cream, 2 sf chocolates
D- lc chicken and cheese wrap with ranch dressing

GB- thank you for the positive thoughts- we need them!

Kat- good luck with the camp! Looking forward to your recharged self posting again..

Gotta run...again...mom life calls! BBL

[Nik]

YEAH KATY!

Listen: It's a good thing that Post Pardem is on your radar. It sounds like you have the cause figured out, but continue to keep us updated; you need to watch out for yourself. Being at home all day with a mostly unresponsive (and certainly non-conversational) human being is hard on anyone's nerves. It's best to keep an eye out.

I am so glad that you have a game plan to work with hubby. I encourage you to keep this at the forefront of your mind, and to continue to discuss things with him and with us. It's important for you to seek and solidify your own sanity at this time, and not allowing yourself to be bent by his whim is certainly a start in that arduous journey. OTOH:

Speaking only from my personal experience (everyone's different), I would be more forceful. Men often lack that nurturing instinct that seems to come to the moms with childbirth. He may be confused and looking to you for cues. If you live your life as though his is inconsequential, you may be setting yourself up for a lifetime of bad habits and resentment.

I am a nagger. I nag my husband about various items, and he can take it. Nagging causes some men to shut down. It works for my hubby. Basically, if his behavior is a one-time occurrence, I ignore it. If it happens more than once or twice, I ask myself, "Can I put up with this for the next 50 years of my life?" Sometimes, the answer is yes. Other times, I know I would be resentful, so I make an investment in our future relationship by trying to address conflicts now, BEFORE they become habits.

If I were in your shoes, I would be scared to death that your husband is developing his roles and habits with Tucker (and any future children). If he thinks it's okay now, what will convince him in two years, or ten, that he needs to be a more involved parent? In my particular relationship, I would start the conversations nonconfrontationally, as the others have suggested. I would ask hubby, "So, what's it like being a new dad?" I would get him talking, asking him to share his joys and fears. Who knows, maybe he'll confess his insecurities to you? I would share my own insecurities with him, being totally honest and not trying to "bait" him into agreeing or disagreeing.

After you've established a regular conversation about your family, maybe in a few days or even a few weeks, I would start making my requests. I would make them clear, logical, and specific. "Honey, I really need about a half hour at the end of each day to take my shower, read a book, or watch a program. It'll be like my lunch break, and the baby loves spending time with you. Would you like to do that as soon as you get home, or would right before bed work best for you?" One of my major problems in my marriage is that I kept waiting for DH to "get it." I thought if I dropped enough hints, led by example, or whined at certain things, he would understand my feelings. MEN DON'T GET IT! They, in general, need us to spell things out for them. When done with respect, with the success of the family in mind, men will usually go right on along.

Now, I hate giving advice, and I hope I haven't offended anyone or come across as a b**chy micromanager, but I couldn't in good conscience NOT say what came to mind. That is: Katy, you need to nip this in the bud. If you choose to ignore me or do something else, OF COURSE I will support you in whatever is best for YOUR FAMILY. I just had to throw in my two cents. Good luck, girl. This is a hard one.

[AsmallerME]

Katy - Good choices girlie!! The walk and salad were fantastic for your health. I too love warm cozy sweaters and new fall clothes. You can be down 5+ pounds by the 4th if you keep up the good work. Heck, you could be down 10+ if you keep taking those daily walks!

I agree with everyone's advice, but I think Nik's advice about the direct conversation might be necessary. Some men (mine included) need direct communication and have a difficult time picking up hints. If I know something is bothering me and I can't let it go, or don't want to put up with it, I'll tell DH. I'll just mention it causually and express to him what I need changed. It's worked so far in both directions for us. He'll tell me and I'll tell him. I try not to nag, but it's things like romantic gestures. I told him recently that I sometimes feel like he doesn't do enough small things for me and I feel like I do them for him all the time. He told me that he didn't realize I felt that way - he thought he was contributing enough and didn't realize I had a romantic meter as well that wasn't being filled. You know? So now he's making an effort and it's had a huge effect on my happiness. Had I never said anything then he would never be doing the small things he's doing now. I highly recommend just telling your husband how you're feeling. Plus, he needs to learn how to be a dad and now's the best time for him to start.

Belle - OMG, your lunch sounds amazing. I'm salivating... Thanks for the JC congrats. I'm really enjoying this diet. I'm like you, I switch to anther plan and then usually return to LC. This time something is clicking with JC and I'm going to ride it out as long as possible. I think LC will always be my standby though since it's such a solid plan.

Kat - I'm so in for the alcohol. Although I'm more of a margheritta girl. Although I'm sure I'd like a chocolate martini if I tried one!

Mel - Good job on the weight loss! I'd have claimed the 228, but that's just my new motto of claiming it as soon as I see it once. You're shrinking away!!

Hi GB!!! Hi Dessa!

Okay, so I'm sooooo crampy today. Temp is still up and I haven't temped except for the past 6 days. So I have no clue when I O'd. I'm guessing any time now I'll start AF but this waiting is starting to drive me mad. DH is so ready to start TTC again and I'm ready to begin my anxious charting, peeing on OPKs, and staring at my chart for hours rituals again. hehehe

JC was good today. It was my first day back on plan in days b/c of all of my traveling. I had a yummy menu:
B: banana nut muffin
L: meatball stuffed sandwich
D: everything pizza
S: cheesecake
I tried a glass of v8 fusion today and I'm not so sure about it. I wanted to try something different to get in extra veggies & fruits, but I think it was too sweet tasting. I'll just stick to straight veggies and fruits once this is gone. Blah....

Another thing I tried is the Stoneyfield Organic Fruit on the Bottom Yogurts. They are amazing. I know some people think yogurt is LC but I wanted to share my love for these for people who are incorporating yogurt or for the pregnant mommy amongst us. I tried the strawberry, blueberry, and peach and loved all three. It's made with organic milk and organic fruits and no sugar is added.

Okay, I have to go and study.

[Nik]

Amber: Thanks for the tip on the yogurt. I had some totally natural (nothing artificial at all added) strawberry yogurt. I think the manufacturer was Dannon, but I don't remember. Unfortunately, I could only eat a few bites this morning and had to throw the rest away...icky belly this morning. I'll try the Stoneybrook stuff the next time I go to the store, if I can find it.

[Potaty]

Thanks for the advice everyone! Like I said, I have talked to him several times about the situation. He must have finally listened last night because he has made an effort with Tucker tonight. They are currently snuggling on the sofa watching UFC. Now, I just need to make sure it stays that way!

Oh...and I have done great with my eating today! I have surely had more than 20 carbs (lots of veggies, iced tea, and sunflower seeds) but I ate LC all day! Yay me!

And one more thing, I got soooo sunburned from the walk today! I am chilling right now so I think I need to take some ibuprofen or something. Tomorrow should be painful!

[Nik]

Katy:
GO, KATY, GO! You're doing a fine job on your eating plan, and you will soon be reaping the rewards. Yesterday's sunburn might encourage you to drink lots more water, too, so that's a good thing! Although, as a nursing mom, you're probably drinking gallons at a time anyway.

[AsmallerME]

Hey ladies!

Katy - yeah!! I'm glad your husband is listening. He probably is enjoying his father-son time as well. He'll get used to spending the time with Tucker and start doing it more often. And you'll still lose weight eating more than 20 carbs. It will all help get you into ketosis. Good job!

Nik - sorry about the sour stomach! I hope you feel better today.

Well, I jumped on quickly to announce that I saw 255 today!!! It's been forever since I saw this weight (sadly) and it also means I've crossed the 30 pound loss mark! Woo Hoo! I'm celebrating today by being extra strict and doing an extra 10 minutes of exercise!

I hope you all have a wonderful Thursday!

[AsmallerME]

Oh, and my temp dropped today so I think I may be getting AF. Yeah!!!

[Potaty]

Congrats on the loss Amber! And Yay for AF! (who knew we would ever say that on this thread?!)

[amlundie]

hiya girls,

Katy- GREAT job!!!

Nik- I saw yogurt mentioned... the other day I got some Fage full fat yogurt and put splenda and cinnamon in it.... it was really good!

Amber- Congrats! my first instinct is to claim the lower number too..... but I figured if I keep the higher one then it'll be a bigger drop next time : )

hugs girlies!

I'm about to go on my 3 day weekend, I may check in on Sat otherwise I'll be back monday!

Have a great weekend!

[godsbeloved79]

Baby Dust Ladies ! Here goes to another "productive" month .

Nik & obrax - Hope all is going well in the land of Pregnancy !

[obraxton]

Hey everybody, just a drive-by about my appt. today.
33 weeks today!
The baby would normally be just under 5 lbs, but Elijah's at 5lbs 11 ounces.
I requested July 25 to be my last day before my Aug7 delivery...the doc looked at me like I had 2 heads. So, she would not let me go past July 4. That's about 3 weeks??? I think. She still doesn't think that he's going to go to August, and I kinda believe her now. At least he's at the weight that if he would be delivered today he would be out of grave danger. That's a big reassurance when thinking about a possible pre-term. Thank God for His protection. Needless to say, my posts will be limited for the next couple of weeks b/c I have a LOT of work yet to do!

[godsbeloved79]

Originally Posted by obraxton

Hey everybody, just a drive-by about my appt. today.
33 weeks today!
The baby would normally be just under 5 lbs, but Elijah's at 5lbs 11 ounces.
I requested July 25 to be my last day before my Aug7 delivery...the doc looked at me like I had 2 heads. So, she would not let me go past July 4. That's about 3 weeks??? I think. She still doesn't think that he's going to go to August, and I kinda believe her now. At least he's at the weight that if he would be delivered today he would be out of grave danger. That's a big reassurance when thinking about a possible pre-term. Thank God for His protection. Needless to say, my posts will be limited for the next couple of weeks b/c I have a LOT of work yet to do!

How exciting. Thank you Lord for allowing Elijah to be healthy and strong .

So you better get busy mommy . Wish I could offer a helping hand .