*Getting Healthy for Baby* May

[Stinkerbelle]

Originally Posted by Potaty

uh oh, how so?

He has PTSD, right? Did he ever start individual counseling for it?

He would never admit that might be what is going on though. No counseling. We went from having many days of good communication and playfulness to not much communication..I realize that our texting was costing a fortune and we needed to cut back but he hasnt been very chatty and I get the feeling he is entering a "bad place". I think I will just back off and give him some space..

[Potaty]

Belle, that is such a rollercoaster for you. Make sure you are looking out for yourself in all of this because if he does decide he wants a divorce, you will need to feel like you gave it all you had but that you weren't used. KWIM?

You, of course, don't need to share the specifics, but has he given you a reason the marriage isn't working? I know you believe it is mostly related to the army and his deployment but what are his reasons? Again, you don't need to share, I just wanted you to be processing some of this. We are all here for you girl, anytime you want to vent or talk.

[Nik]

Just checking in. Super tired here, getting ready to end the year. I'll talk to you girls tomorrow.

Amber: DS was conceived w/o drugs. I was 19, so it was a bit easier to conceive. (OK, A LOT EASIER!)

[amlundie]

Morning girls,

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!!!!!

I love the weekend!

Menu
B: eggs scrambled w/ onions
L: Tuna and broccoli casserole kinds stuff
D: Chicken thigh and peas
S: not sure we'll see

Have a great day and an even better weekend!

[LuckyKitty]

OK, I realize I'm late to the party, as usual, but I can't pass up a reference to School House Rock! My fave, predictably, I'm just a bill, yeah I'm only a bill, and I'm sittin here on capitol hill Ah, good times

Nik - I want you as my English teacher (now if I could just get this dang time machine working...) Sorry about your BFN, hon. I understand your reluctance to try Clomid, I'm still very overwhelmed at the thought of medical intervention, but always remember you can come take out your beotch on us to keep DH out of the line of fire

Shanidy - Great job on the exercise KUTGW!

Katy - Tucker is just gorgeous, and apparently one smart cookie with his rolling over at 3 months! Good job on keeping your eating under control, too. Your health is the most important thing, cause that cutie is depending on you

Mel - I'd say DH cooking is a pretty good deal! Our grill got broken in the move, so if I don't cook, we pretty much are eating junk Does DH like to cook, or does he do it begrudgingly?

Amber - Harvey Birdman (attorney at law) is a cartoon on Cartoon Network based on the old Birdman Saturday morning cartoon, only now he's a B-rated lawyer and all the villains are judges and what-not. DH and I watch it religiously, and now are entranced by the game, which is wholely ridiculous Your JC food sounds yummy. I hope you keep posting your menus, cause it always gives me ideas on foods to try or retry (mmm, french toast...). KUTGW!

Belle - Have you thought about getting into counselling just for yourself? (and not for the voices in our collecctive head ) Maybe DH would come around and maybe not, but at least you could have someone on your side (my friend's therapist says she's her "cheerleader") and it would probably make it easier to deal with his mood swings or whatever. Just please make yourself a priority so you don't end up losing yourself trying to save him. I'm always here if you need me

Well, I made some bad choices a couple nights ago, but I'm proud to say I'm using my journal to work through the why's and how to not let it happen again. The good news is that I saw the cycle starting and made the decision to intervene before it got several days (weeks, months ) out of hand. This morning's realization was that FOOD is not the enemy, the FOOD doesn't need any work, it's my RELATIONSHIP with food that's getting me into trouble (and has been for the past 15 years - dang, am I that old ). What I do with this knowledge remains to be seen, but I'm excited about my new perspective and that I'm actually taking the time to develop it.
Best part is that even with a yucky case of bronchitis (dang allergies) I've still kept up my exercise EVERY DAY, even when I haven't felt like going to the gym, I'm managed a good couple mile walk <where's the pat on the back smilie when ya need it >

to my girlies and a big w00t for a three-day weekend!

[amlundie]

Kat- Glad you were able t ostop the cycle early! That is a HUGE step so be proud of yourself! And hubby LOVES to cook , he likes to just wing it and see what happens.... it's always come out good! So I'm a happy camper cause cooking is not my favorite thing to do!

[LuckyKitty]

Thanks for the encouragement, Mel! I appreciate it more than I can say. It's hard to reset the negative self-talk, but I'm not going to give up

Sounds like DH cooks like me Feel free to send him over sometime and he can do some kitchen experimenting on us

[AsmallerME]

Kat - I'm so proud of you!! Good job on stopping the cycle and for working through all of your thoughts and emotions. It sounds like journaling is really helping you too. I'm definitely going to look into this Birdman game too now. I'm growing increasingly interested in the fit and mario kart and also there is a trivia game that sounds fun. Oh yes, how could I forget, "I'm just a bill..."

Boy: Whew! You sure gotta climb
a lot of steps to get to this
Capitol Building here in
Washington. But I wonder who
that sad little scrap of paper is?


I'm just a bill.
Yes, I'm only a bill.
And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill.
Well, it's a long, long journey
To the capital city.
It's a long, long wait
While I'm sitting in committee,
But I know I'll be a law some day
At least I hope and pray that I will
But today I am still just a bill.


Boy: Gee, Bill, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.
Bill: Well, I got this far. When I started I wasn't even a bill, I was just an idea.
Some folks back home decided they wanted a law passed, so they called
their local Congressman, and said, "You're right, there oughta be a law."
Then he sat down and wrote me out and introduced me to Congress. And I
became a bill, and I'll remain a bill until they decide to make me a law.


I'm just a bill
Yes I'm only a bill,
And I got as far as Capitol Hill.
Well, now I'm stuck in committee
And I'll sit here and wait
While a few key Congressmen discuss
and debate
Whether they should let me be a law.
How I hope and pray that they will,
But today I am still just a bill.


Boy: Listen to those Congressmen arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?
Bill: Yeah, I'm one of the lucky ones. Most bills never even get this far. I hope they
decide
to report on me favorably, otherwise I may die.
Boy: Die?
Bill: Yeah, die in committee. Ooh, but it looks like I'm gonna live!
Now I go to the House of Representatives, and they vote on me.
Boy: If they vote yes, what happens?
Bill: Then I go to the Senate and the whole thing starts all over again.
Boy: Oh no!
Bill: Oh yes!


I'm just a bill
Yes, I'm only a bill
And if they vote for me on Capitol Hill
Well, then I'm off to the White House
Where I'll wait in a line
With a lot of other bills
For the president to sign
And if he signs me, then I'll be a law.
How I hope and pray that he will,
But today I am still just a bill.


Boy: You mean even if the Whole Congress says you
should be a law, the president can still say no?
Bill: Yes, that's called a veto. If the president vetoes
me, I have to go back to Congress and they vote
on me again, and by that time you're so old...
Boy: By that time it's very unlikely that you'll become
a law. It's not easy to become a law, is it?
Bill: No!


But how I hope and pray that I will,
But today I am still just a bill.


Congressman: He signed you, Bill!
Now you're a law!
Bill: Oh yes!!!



Nik - oh, I'm sorry for thinking you used clomid for your son. For some reason I had though you did. Well either way, I stand by the fact that I think it's okay to re-try the medicine. It may not have the same effect (affect?) on you this time. Plus I agree with Kat that you can take out your mood swings on us. We'll be your punching bag if need be.

Belle - I hope that things are going better for you today. I'm sorry your husband was acting weird. I really hope that he can find the strength to get help.

Hi Mel! Any fun weekend plans?

Does anyone have any cycle news for me to dwell on? I'm still TTA and we definitely are avoiding right now as I have tons of EWCM and cramps. I'm only CD17 so this would be a very early O for me. It's so exciting to think I'm beginning to have regular cycles.

Food wise was good for me. My husband wanted to go to a steak house for dinner and I declined b/c it's too early for me to not be eating my JC food. I feel bad about it since I know he wanted to go. I told him give me one week completely on plan before I start making any substitutions. Eating out was the good thing on LC - you could always get steak covered in butter and smothered in cheese....mmmmmm.... haha..j/k

Today's menu:
B: french toast
L: beef chow mein
D: pizza (cheese and tomato)
S: lemon cake

Going to lurk for a bit and I'll be back. I'm so thankful for this 3 day weekend. Work was hard this week and I need a break!

[Nik]

KAT: I'm glad to hear you're working on your relationship with food. I think that's an important step. Before doing LC again, I went militantly fat activist, even joining NAAFA (National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance). It really helped me learn to love myself and destroy the dysfunctional relationship I had with food. If it weren't for that emotional change, I would never be equipped to succeed now.

Katy: Thanks for the links. Keep 'em coming! Congrats on Tucker's roll over. He's so adorable.

Belle: Sending you my love, lady. Please, please, please let us know how things go. I agree with Kat; maybe you should go into counseling yourself. I'm a big fan of counseling. DH and I went when DS was about a year old. After talking to us about our marital problems, the adviser recommended that I go into counseling first. I was so MAD! I thought it was all DH's fault that our marriage was in a shambles. Well, I can't say I was wrong, but I can say that I learned a tremendous amount about what I want and need in a relationship, and that helped me in all my interactions with the people I love. DH eventually got his head shrunk, too.

We'll see what the gyn says about clomid. I should get my summer school schedule on Tuesday, then I'll call to make my annual appointment. I'm still going to ask to have DH tested, though.

I love "I'm Just a Bill," too.

Grammar lesson of the day: "Affect" and "effect" should be used in alphabetical order. If you're talking about something that WILL create a change, use "affect." If you're talking about a change that HAS BEEN caused, use "effect." I had to look it up EVERY TIME for the first few years, but now I get it!

Menu:
B: 1/2 egg cream
S: almonds
L: 10 Wendy's nuggets (Breaded, I know, but...)
S: dark chocolate
D: chocolate shake (cream, almond milk, ice, cocoa powder, Splenda)

TTC Obsession opportunities: I've been getting kinda hungry, but have had very little appetite. Like, food sounds gross, even though I'm hungry. (You can tell from my menu that I'm just trying to find stuff to fill me up; I'm not really enjoying food.) I've had mild heartburn and nausea; I actually took some Tums early in the week. Heartburn has NOT been usual for me since starting LC. I'm still not showing any signs of AF, except for a few skin eruptions earlier this week. The cramping I reported earlier this week was definitely NOT menstrual cramping, and has not returned or intensified. I think I may have O'd late, like on the tenth. That would put me at 13 DPO, so I think I'll test again maybe next weekend? I have only one pregnancy test left, so I'm trying to hold out! Plus, the longer I wait, the less time I have to wait for baby to arrive if I am preggers.

[LuckyKitty]

Amber - What a perfect way to start my Saturday morning - with a Saturday morning cartoon (script) Thanks for the support and encouragement Great job in sticking to your plan even in the face of the dreaded peer pressure! You're definitely on the right track, girlie. And I would recommend checking out the Harvey Birdman cartoon before you check out the game, or the game will just seem really stoopid Do you like Stephen Colbert? He does several of the voices and is an ab-so-lute riot!

Nik - for the affect/effect tool. I always struggle with that. But now it's going to become my new OCD obsession and drive me nuts when people use it wrong (hopefully replacing my issues with "irregardless" ) You, my friend, have a will of steel BTW. you're possibly 13DPO and are going to wait until next weekend to test How are we supposed to be expected to wait that long (there's my only child coming out again, cause what part of YOUR TTC journey isn't about ME?) BFP dust headed your way!

Well, I'm happy to report a GREAT day yesterday, at least with my food/exercise goals (work is another story, Amber I'm with ya on the crap week, wanna come over for a Cosmo?). I also don't think I ever told you all that we finally got sod at our new house NO MORE MUD HOLE!!! Next step is fencing the yard for the pup (and to wrangle our rowdy friends) and we'll be dang near settled

and to everyone!

Hope you all have a great holiday weekend. It's gonna be gorgeous here and I can't wait to get outside and get active (wow, that's not something the "old" me would've ever said!)

[AsmallerME]

Do I know Stephen Colbert? Uhm....he's my favorite late night obsession. DH and I watch him on our tivo every night before bed. I'm slightly obsessed. hehe

Okay, I can't stay and chat but I'll be back later to post more....

Hopefully everyone has a wonderful Saturday!

[Stinkerbelle]

Hi Ladies...just a quick check in...

Things are not good here for me. Bad things going on with DH and I need to figure out what I need to do in order to get my life back together. I am thinking I should seek out a lawyer and start going the bankruptcy route. I dont have a huge amount of debt but I need a fresh start. I want to become more financially secure. I only work pt now so I will have to look for a full time job.

As for DH, I am beginning to believe their is someone else. We had a bit of a texting fight yesterday and I havent heard from him since. He did not stay at his mothers last night. I am tired of the games and tired of being the only one trying to make things better. There has to be a better life out there. It is so hard to let go of the life you could be having, the life you had and the life you want. 18 years of my life have been with this man and I gave him my heart. I believe he has thrown it away.

I am going to look for someone to see for therapy. My brain is mush and I find it difficult to get through the day. Most days I feel like I am trying to be happy for the kids but at the end of the day...I am miserable and lonely.

Do you have any advice for me? If I suspect an affair do I need to prove it? I really pray that isnt whats going on but right now that is all that makes sense...

Okay, that was longer than a quick check in!! I would appreciate any advice...

[AsmallerME]

Belle - I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down right now. We're all here for you to vent to and lean on. I'd definitely recommend getting a counseler as soon as possible. You need an expert to help you through this. Second, I'd look at getting both a divorce attorney and possibly a bankruptcy attorney (if you think it's come to this). The divorce attorney will be able to explain what the laws are in your state for divorce. In my state it's a no-fault divorce system so I wouldn't need to prove my husband was cheating. It wouldn't matter in the court system. I'm not sure what your state laws say so it would be best to consult an attorney in your area to help you with that information. If you can't afford an attorney, look at your local bar association's information or for a legal service office to call. Hopefully you can be matched up with a fairly reasonably priced attorney to at least consult you and tell you your options. Even if you don't act on them, at least you'll know what your choices will be down the road.

I wish I could give you better advice or tell you what you want to hear, but I have no clue how hard it must be for you. I can tell you that every person I know who went through a divorce came out the other side a better person. I know it probably seems impossible now, but you really are such an amazing, wonderful person and you'll be fine. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and who makes you feel wanted. If your husband isn't willing to work on himself and be part of the family then you deserve more.

I'm not sure if this would help or not, but maybe go to the library and see if there are any self-help books that would assist you. I'm reading a book right now called, "Eat, Pray, Love" and it's pretty motivational about the author coming out of a turbulent divorce and rediscovering who she wanted to be and who she is.

Please know I'm here for you Belle.

[Stinkerbelle]

Hi Ladies

I am sorry I keep taking over the thread with all my problems..

Amber- thank you for your thoughts..I wasn't sure if I proved he was having an affair that I would fare better in the divorce. I guess it doesnt matter because I essentially have him on abandonment. He has been giving me $ (when I ask for it) but he has pretty much cut off his responsibilities as a husband and a father. It is so sad.

I never heard from him yesterday and he missed both of my DS baseball games. Whatever. I sent him a text this morning to see if we were ever going to talk or if this is just it. We will see if he replies. I will not text him again.

On a positive note, I have been eating good and not allowing this stress to throw me off track. I didnt really eat too much yesterday so I need to be better today.

Menu yesterday:
B- nothing- coffee w/cream
L- buffalo chicken salad
S- iced coffee w/cream
D- salad, a lilttle steak and 1/2 of brat

Menu today:
B- spinach quiche w/sour cream, coffee w/cream
L- buffalo chicken salad
S- iced coffee w/cream
D- no clue..

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekends and Happy Memorial Day!

[AsmallerME]

Belle - don't worry about taking over the thread. This thread is for support and we all want to support you in any way we can. But like I said about the affair, it may help you in the divorce if you prove he cheated since you can add that to the list of reasons for the divorce. But, it might not. In my state it doesn't matter what the other spouse did or didn't do. The state favors equitable distribution (splitting things evenly) no matter what.

Your menu looks fantastic. You should be so proud of yourself for sticking to your WOE even through a difficult situation. You are just improving your body and that will make it easier for you to stand strong and be strong.

Happy Memorial Day weekend to everyone!! I'm thinking about dragging dh to the movies today but I'm not that excited about any of the movies that are playing. We're definitely going to be doing some more spring cleaning and decluttering too though.

I weighed myself this morning and I'm down 2 from my siggy. I started the week higher than my siggy at JC's weighin so I'm excited to see what I really lost when I WI on Tuesday. I'm guessing 5 pounds.

Today for breakfast I had fresh fruit, a sunshine sandwich (egg, turkey bacon, and english muffin sandwich), and milk. I'm not sure what I'll eat for lunch today or dinner. I'm thinking lunch will be a brocolli/cheese potato and dinner with be fajitas. Okay, that's what it will be. I just convinced myself.

I'll be back later to post more. I hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday!

[LuckyKitty]

Belle, I'm so sorry to hear about DH Especially that he seems to be letting his relationship with DS slide as well. Please don't ever feel like you need to apologize for coming here for support. That's why we're here! I'm relieved that you are going to seek counseling. Regardless of what happens, that is a great way to start taking care of you. I agree with everything Amber said from a legal perspective. I would caution you not to rush into bankruptcy unless you really have to. It'll follow you around for a LONG time. That being said, if you need to use it, it is definitely a valuable tool. I'm so proud of you for continuing to take good care of yourself throughout this stress. Nourishing your body will definitely help make everything more bearable.

[LuckyKitty]

Amber - I knew I liked you for a reason. DH and I really only get our news from The Daily Show and the Colbert Report anymore Great job on your weightloss! You're doing great! KUTGW

I am staying away from the scale right now in a "fake it till ya make it" attempt to work on this whole loving and nourishing my body thing. It's HARD cause I wanna know where I am, and a very scary, lack of control kind of feeling to constantly have the thought in the back of my mind that "what if I'm gaining". But I'm trying to remind myself that by being more active (which I have definitely been ) and eating to nourish my body is unlikely to have any consequence other than getting me to a MORE healthy weight and mindset. I feel like the little engine that could

[AsmallerME]

Thanks Kat! I think your idea of concentrating on health and faking it right now is a good one. You seem to be doing well with both food and exercise so I'm sure you're at least maintaining your weight if not losing and definitely improving your overall health. We watch the Daily Show as well but lately John Stewart has been bugging us. He seems more annoying lately than normal for some reason. I too get most of my news from those shows with the occasional "hot topics" from The View and an occasional look at cnn.com while at work. It's pretty sad that they provide 99% of my daily news but I always know what's going on!

Okay, I'm going grocery shopping. Not much to get for me but dh needs food. It's weird not cooking for me b/c now I forget to cook for him and then he practically starves. Gotta work on that one...

BBL

[Nik]

Belle:
Everyone has such great advice, I'm not sure if I can add anything valuable. I think you should read "Eat, Pray, Love." It's a great choice! I think you're doing a great job. The mark of a wise woman is that she knows when to ask for help when she's over her head. Consulting attorneys and counselors in your situation is definitely reasonable. About the cheating issue, I have to ask, "What difference would it make?" Would it make your life better to know for sure, or would it make your job harder in dealing with the dissolution of your marriage?

I have decided to use the term "Planned Diet Holiday" instead of "Cheat Day" from now on. We had a planned diet holiday yesterday to celebrate DH's birthday. We knew we were attending a wedding, too. Overall, we didn't eat a tremendous AMOUNT of food, but we did eat a HIGH LEVEL of sugar. Today, we're back on track. I'm feeling great, like I can do this for the long haul.

I didn't really go back to induction, but I'm really trying to follow Amber's advice and take the slow, steady approach. As of last Wednesday's weigh-in, I was still at my siggy weight, so I feel I'm doing okay. I DO want to become healthier. I DO NOT want to blitz my metabolism or destroy my tolerance for carbohydrates. Therefore, I'm sticking to this rung of the ladder. As I go, I will try to make generally healthier changes to my lifestyle in gradual steps. Among the first will be increased exercise, followed by a reduction of chemicals in my foods and an increase in veggies and natural foods. It's a process, and I can't expect to be at the end without going through the steps.

I wore a cute dress last night. It was a size 14 from B. Moss, a store I could NEVER shop at before. It was a brown and gray big print dress on a white background, empire waist with a wide brown strip of fabric at the waist, sleeveless, high scoop-neck with big buttons on the collar, and a deep square back with a bow at the waist. I wore it with a brown wrap to cover my back, shoulders, and underarms. I also purchased some turquoise-colored bracelets and wood and beaded earrings. The shoes were my new cute khaki/brown leather heelless pumps. I looked and felt fantastic, and now I regret not having my friend take my picture! I'll find another occasion to wear it, and I'll post the pic. sometime.

[AsmallerME]

Oh Nik, your dress sounds so cute!!! I wish you had taken a picture because you probably looked to die for! I'm glad you had a fun diet holiday! What a great idea!

I ate everything that I said I was going to eat today. I ate all 4 servings of my fruit today and feel stuffed. Ugh! The first few days I was starving but now that I'm on day 6 I'm finding that my stomach has already adjusted to this level of calories and these types of food.

Belle - I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

Hi to everyone else!

[amm]

Nik, that dress sounds very cute! I have just started to wear some sleeveless things without feeling super self-conscious about it. I still feel a little uncomfortable showing so much of my arms and my shoulders... but I feel like I'll never get past that if I don't actually wear sleeveless stuff.

I think calling it a "Diet Holiday" is great. My feelings on "cheating" is that if we are going to make this a lifestyle, things like "cheats" are going to happen. It's all about finding a balance and doing what works for you.