I need help! Breastfeeding

[kimmie232]

Hi,
I know I'm weird.

I've been pumping exclusively for lets say the best part of five months. My son is about 7.5 months now. I only get 1 ounce per pumping session, which normally lasts 20 or so minutes. I try to do it throughout the day. Usually, about five times a day or so. I am thinking of weaning him off, but I feel so guilty. Its not like I'm using only breastmilk. Its mostly formula. My husband keeps telling me that I'm wasting my time. I want to stop pumping, but I just feel so guilty about it. We are hoping to try for another child after Dylan is one year old, which is coming up soon. I want to go back to low carbing to get ready for it, but I can't feed him my little milk if I'm doing that. I hear how good the breastmilk is and that is why I keep doing it. I had always envisoned I'd be breastfeeding for a year. But, my pathetic boobies and my preemie boy were against that. I wish that he would have taken to my boobs. I went from inverted nipples, to shields, to attempting to breastfeed (he would always get so frustrated, because there was nothing there), to pumping full time.

Just give me your honest opinion. Would you quit pumping? Like I said, my husband and everyone else has told me to stop. I just feel so bad, like he is going to get sick, lose some sort of intelligence, or something worse.

Thanks for your insight!
Kim

[Potaty]

It sounds like it is stressing you out big time. You have done a wonderful job so far and he is a healthy, thriving little boy and that is the best and most important thing!!!!

Honestly, if I were you, I would stop. You are only getting 5 ozs. a day and to me, that wouldn't be worth the hour and a half it is taking, plus the stress. His development and health are not going to suffer because he no longer gets any breastmilk. It sounds like he got the colostrum early on and he is 7.5 months old which is older than many moms breastfeed. Also, there are thousands and thousands of smart, healthy babies that were only fed formula. There is enough guilt involved in parenting (most of it self-imposed), give yourself permission to do this if that is what you want to do.

[muffles]

I agree, it might be time to stop. You are doing the best with what you can do. It's not your fault that you aren't a big milk producer - as a fellow low milk mum I really feel your pain. I had to stop at 6 months with my youngest. I breastfeed from birth, but had to supplement with formula too, because I never made enough milk for him to thrive. At 6 months, my baby decided it was too much hard work to breast feed, he preferred the bottle, so that was it. I know you'll feel sad and it's not ideal...but really you have done the best you can and your baby will be fine (possibly even better if it makes you feel better!).

[kimbo232]

i'm new here but i've got to agree it's time to stop. i was in a similar situation w/ my first baby. i breast fed her exclusively at first, and at her first check-up she weighed the same. her next one she'd lost a couple ounces (this was one week later). the doc sent me to a lactation consultant who sent me home pumping after every feeding, and writing every feeding and pump session down w/ times & amounts i'd pumped each time. i was only getting about 1/4" in the bottom of the bottle each time and turns out i was starving my daughter. i was shocked when the lactation consultant handed me a can of formula and said "keep up the pumping if you want, but personally i wouldn't bother" this lady was one of those boob-nazis as i jokingly called her. i've got PCOS and evidently that affected my ability to produce a decent amount of milk. i tried again w/ #2 and had the same results, only i supplemented from the beginning so the little guy wouldn't starve. i even pumped exclusively for a couple days to see what the results were and i got maybe 2 oz a day. 5oz isn't all that much more, i can't believe you kept it up this long, somebody should give you a medal or somethign.

i'm applauding you for the effort you've put into it. i did it for a week and it was such an effort and so much trouble i was miserable and it took up so much of my time. after i started using formula exclusively i was so much happier. for me unfortunately breastfeeding is not an option and the whole experience was just horrible, unconfortable, and messy. i'm pregnant again now w/ #3 and i'll nurse the little one for a week or so to get what little colostrum there is, but after that it'll be strictly formula. i still feel a little guilty about it and remember the occasional dirty looks i got from the boob-nazis, but they don't know my situation and the fact is that i really did try. even a nurse at the hosp when #2 was born gave me a look when i said i didn't produce enough milk and would be supplimenting. people think you didn't put in the effort but who really cares what they think anyway. the health of your baby is the most important and i think you've done more than enough to make sure he is healthy. you definitely did more than i did in a similar situation. good luck to you!

[that1redhead]

my kids are old now (9 and 11) but...

I breastfed both until they were 8-9 months old. They had breastmilk exclusively for the first 3 months and then I went back to work and pumped. I supplemented with formula because I didn't get much when I pumped. What really helped produce more would be if I fed them while I pumped. Then it just flowed. Maybe if you held your baby and simulated breastfeeding while you pump you would get more?

That being said. I don't know if I believe the whole idea that they are healthier if you breastfeed. My kids both have asthma, they have had numerous ear infections, pnemonia, brochitis, and several colds every year.

I would let go of the guilt and stop if you want to but would not hesitate to try it again with your next baby.

[Tylar_Connar]

Dont beat yourself up over it. You tried and that is all you can do.
I so wanted to breastfeed.
I didnt get to very long with my first one because he got sick and was in the hospital.
And with the second one I never had any milk.

So, the first weeks is the most important. And you fed him then.

Maybe stop stressing about it and you could produce more milk.
Are you drinking and eating enough?

I say stop breastfeeding. Try again with your next child.

[kimmie232]

Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for responding to my post. I know I'm competely nuts for keeping on it. After reading your posts, I've started cutting down on my little pumping episodes and will hopefully get down to no pumping in a week or so. I doublt I will have any engorgement! I espeically loved the posts about the boob nazis.... to say the least. I swear the le leche chicks are a cult. Although, they did help out when I was having problems. But, when I asked them if I should keep doing it, they were against me stopping. I doubt any of them had my problems! Also, I didn't realize that there was a coorelation between pcos and low milk supply. I was diagnosed a few years back and didn't realize that it made much of a difference. I'm going to do some more studies on that. Its more or less sounding like I will be pretty much screwed with milk supply next time too. I hope not!

Thanks again for your posts. I love this site. I don't post very often, but whenever I do, I get very good responses and lots of really good info.

So, I guess you'll be seeing me soon in the lobby section and in here too.

Thanks!!!
Kim

[kimbo232]

my lactaction consultant aka the boob nazi is the first and only person who mentioned anything to me about pcos and lactation. the docs never said a word. i haven't done any research on it at all but would be interested to know if others have the same problem. when i was in w/ her one day i made a crack about the fact that i look like i could pop out a dozen kids and be a wet nurse to boot, and here i needed help to get pregnant, had to have a c-section, and can't even feed my baby. her head whipped around like in the exorcist and she said "you had fertility problems??" which is when i told her about the pcos. she shook her head and handed me a can of formula. hope it's better for you next time around, i've heard there's supplements you can take that are supposed to help, but it was so stressful and just plain difficult for me i never bothered trying them.

[Bibby]

Originally Posted by that1redhead

my kids are old now (9 and 11) but...

I don't know if I believe the whole idea that they are healthier if you breastfeed. My kids both have asthma, they have had numerous ear infections, pnemonia, brochitis, and several colds every year.

Hmm, I breast fed all 3 of mine for various lengths of time depending on circumstances. My third caught Chicken pox when he was 3 months old and also has Asthma..... I fed him for 6 months.

Not that I am saying breast feeding isnt good. And IF I ever had another child I would breast feed again. But that's NOT going to happen. I am too old, LOL!

Kim, listen to your body. I think it's time to give yourself a rest. Get yourself ready for your next baby. Each of breast my feeding experiences were different. And I am sure being stressed out and tired diminishes the milk. The real quality milk is the first milk, in the first two weeks. SO you have done the very best for your little one.