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Old 12-26-2013, 07:53 AM   #1
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I don't get it

Granted, I had my RNY surgery in 1999. My last recorded weight was 285, I think on the day of my surgery I weighed a little more because it was my last hurrah. Anyway, many friends and aquaintences have since had WLS and I am astounded at how many people have regained all of their weight and more. Sure, I never got to my goal weight of 130 but I have pretty much been stable @ 145-150. I still struggle and I am always mindful, but how can someone regain 100 or more pounds again? My friend Tina had WLS 5 years ago and she is now @ her pre WLS weight of 350. Social services paid for her WLS, I wonder if that had anything to do with it. I paid out of pocket and knew I had to make it work.
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Old 12-26-2013, 08:41 AM   #2
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I think it really all comes down to readiness and maturity (weight loss maturity not age). If you go into it with the expectation that you'll lose weight by surgery alone - without instituting permanent lifestyle changes - you'll more than likely regain at least some. Probably those that regain most if not all are in denial. How did we all get there in the first place?

I don't think it has anything at all to do with paying out of pocket or not. I have great insurance and barely paid a dime. I'd consider myself quite successful at close to 4 years out. But then again, I work out, weigh myself almost daily and have completely changed my eating habits.
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Old 12-26-2013, 09:27 AM   #3
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Well here is the deal with me, I have been lazy clear and simple . I didn't change one thing except the amount of food I ate ,just sporadic exercise. My dr. wanted me to weigh 128 I got to 123, My personal goal was 115. Well I never got lower than the 123. I looked good in clothes but, I was so flabby especially in the tummy section and so discouraged about how I looked out of clothes ,The MM isn't and option, Geez! I am still paying for the surgery cause it was private pay.

As you already know I have put on 35lbs. of the 107 that I lost. What is pulling me back is the fact that I refuse to buy bigger clothes ( can't really afford to either) and the other reason is I am still paying for this tool Yes shame on me!! Plain and simple no one is ever going be rid of the weight unless they change their mindset, forever creating a NEW way of life that includes healthy eating and exercise.

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Old 12-26-2013, 09:36 AM   #4
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I agree with what people are saying - losing weight and maintaining the loss require big mental and physical changes - well, at least for me. I know that the exercising I do has helped me only regain 20 pounds versus a ton if I hadn't. My surgery cost me about 5K out of pocket, but it isn't the cost that stops me from a total backslide. It is how I have a totally different life now, too. I will add that I did have several rounds of plastic surgery to get rid of a bunch of excess skin. I think some people lose a lot of weight and then don't do that for whatever reason and its discouraging. I know before I had those surgeries I still looked a lot heavier. That is discouraging and might cause people to not be as vigilant about everything... I am still paying for those plastic surgeries, and I'm not totally happy with the outcomes, but I do look better now than before, so it helps me keep trying.

I've heard people say (including one of my doctors), that exercise is great, but it really does come down to what you eat. I don't think a lot of people who have WLS are adequately counseled in nutrition or changing behaviors. I also think it is really easy to forget and go back to your old habits...I know it happened to me. Once that happens, you can either fight back or let it happen, and fighting back takes a lot of effort. I also think some people feel once they lose the weight suddenly their lives will be perfect. They'll find the perfect spouse, get the perfect job, and everything will be rainbows and unicorns. We all know that didn't happen either. Life is tough and a lot of us use(d) food as a comfort from all that. Old habits die hard.
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Last edited by Hot Tamale; 12-26-2013 at 09:42 AM..
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Old 12-26-2013, 10:52 PM   #5
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They'll find the perfect spouse, get the perfect job, and everything will be rainbows and unicorns.
I'm still waiting for all of the above to fall into my lap. Until then, I'm just concentrating on making ME happen.
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Old 12-26-2013, 11:28 PM   #6
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I also think some people feel once they lose the weight suddenly their lives will be perfect. They'll find the perfect spouse, get the perfect job, and everything will be rainbows and unicorns. We all know that didn't happen either. Life is tough and a lot of us use(d) food as a comfort from all that. Old habits die hard.
It's so funny you say that. I just saw Jillian Michaels on an ad for some exercise something (wasn't paying attention), and she said something along the lines of "you'll lose weight, you'll get healthy, and you'll be the happiest you've ever been!"

What a claim for a piece of exercise equipment!
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Old 12-27-2013, 04:32 AM   #7
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"I don't think a lot of people who have WLS are adequately counseled in nutrition or changing behaviors. I also think it is really easy to forget and go back to your old habits.."

You know, this point has merit but most of the people I know did receive counseling and I tell you I think the "Nutritionist" did not serve them well. They were counciled using the basic new food platform, plenty of whole grains, non-fat dairy, extreme low fat, blah, blah,blah. Low carb, high protein is never mentioned to them.
It's funny, those that know I've had the surgery and have been fairly successful ask me my "tips." I tell them low carb and it falls on deaf ears. I never offer advice but if they ask I tell them what has worked for me. I guess in the begining weight loss is so effortless they just don't realize the effects of the weight gain creep over time.
Oh well, I guess the light goes on when the light goes on.
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Old 12-27-2013, 06:21 AM   #8
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My surgeon had the worst nutrition program. I actually skipped the meetings after the first two because I knew more from hanging out on the VSG boards than they did. They were at the noon hour when my surgeons office was closed for lunch and the nurse read from a paper they handed out and you couldn't ask questions because of the time crunch. I paid the required $350.00 for after care support and it was a complete rip off. My surgeon pushes high protein zero carbs. No dairy except cottage cheese. I cannot live my life without my Chobani and Starbucks LOL.

I followed the plan found on the VSG boards and lost over 100 pounds quickly but really learned nothing. When I had to learn how to maintain is when it got tricky. My Fitbit is what really taught me. I used a Bodybugg for years and still it didn't click. I see what I burn and how I need to adjust my calories day to day. Logging my food is a very is important part of my life now.

We went away for Christmas I didn't log, my calorie burn was zip and I ate what I wanted. We came home last night and I weighed this morning. I am up four pounds and back at it today. I have no regrets, I am back to reality and my real life.

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Old 12-27-2013, 07:35 AM   #9
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My surgeon had the worst nutrition program. I actually skipped the meetings after the first two because I knew more from hanging out on the VSG boards than they did. They were at the noon hour when my surgeons office was closed for lunch and the nurse read from a paper they handed out and you couldn't ask questions because of the time crunch. I paid the required $350.00 for after care support and it was a complete rip off. My surgeon pushes high protein zero carbs. No dairy except cottage cheese. I cannot live my life without my Chobani and Starbucks LOL.

I followed the plan found on the VSG boards and lost over 100 pounds quickly but really learned nothing. When I had to learn how to maintain is when it got tricky. My Fitbit is what really taught me. I used a Bodybugg for years and still it didn't click. I see what I burn and how I need to adjust my calories day to day. Logging my food is a very is important part of my life now.

We went away for Christmas I didn't log, my calorie burn was zip and I ate what I wanted. We came home last night and I weighed this morning. I am up four pounds and back at it today. I have no regrets, I am back to reality and my real life.
And here's the BIG difference I believe. You see those 4 pounds and automatically think "time to crack down on it". Someone else might see it and think "okay it's just 4 pounds, that's okay. I'll stay tomorrow after all the holiday food is gone". Or Monday. Or the New Year. Before you know it it's 4 MORE pounds and they're avoiding the scale.
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:29 AM   #10
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It's so funny you say that. I just saw Jillian Michaels on an ad for some exercise something (wasn't paying attention), and she said something along the lines of "you'll lose weight, you'll get healthy, and you'll be the happiest you've ever been!"

What a claim for a piece of exercise equipment!
Well, I am mighty happy because of all I've done, but I'm certainly not THAT happy! lol
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:30 AM   #11
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quote=myyellowstang;16730664]And here's the BIG difference I believe. You see those 4 pounds and automatically think "time to crack down on it". Someone else might see it and think "okay it's just 4 pounds, that's okay. I'll stay tomorrow after all the holiday food is gone". Or Monday. Or the New Year. Before you know it it's 4 MORE pounds and they're avoiding the scale.[/quote]

As usual, Heather is spot-on. She's determined, strong-willed, and willing to do everything she needs to (and more) to not gain it back. When I grow up I want to be just like her!!

PS: I want to run like her, too!!

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Old 12-27-2013, 08:33 AM   #12
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And here's the BIG difference I believe. You see those 4 pounds and automatically think "time to crack down on it". Someone else might see it and think "okay it's just 4 pounds, that's okay. I'll stay tomorrow after all the holiday food is gone". Or Monday. Or the New Year. Before you know it it's 4 MORE pounds and they're avoiding the scale.
I agree 100 percent with you, that was the old me. Now I know I can no longer do that. Something clicked for me when I got my Fitbit. I don't know or understand what because it is not magic. I now believe you have to be ready. I set my mom up on the same system I have and she never wears her Fitbit everyday it is a different excuse. Her health is being affected by her weight in a big way but mentally she just is not there. You can nag and prod all you want but they have to want it.
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:46 AM   #13
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BonnyLass: I totally agree - the nutritionist's advice is just that...advice. Sometimes you get a good one and sometimes not so much. I think another aspect of all this is how informed the patient is about what to do and not do and also how good they get at listening to their body. For decades I didn't listen to what my body was telling me and finally it had to shout to get my attention (a blood clot, DVT, and pulmonary emboli in 2009 that almost killed me...). After my RNY it would have been very difficult not to lose weight, but I did what I knew worked for me (lower-carb), added exercise, and had awesome results (-160 my first year alone...). I continued with exercise but slowly added carbs (first from better sources, like more fruits and vegetables...but then from not-so-good) and the weight loss slowed, then stopped. I know what I did "wrong," and I know what I need to do to lose regain and then maintain. I also found out that foods agree with me, what foods stall me, and what foods cause me to "fall off the wagon." Knowing that, I decide every time I put something in my mouth. Everyone does, no matter what a nutritionist told them. I know a woman who lost 150 pounds a few years back. She gained it all back. I felt badly for her, but I also watched her eat many things she probably shouldn't have in quantities we both knew she shouldn't have. Some people, I think, aren't ready to lose the weight. Or, they lose it and it is overwhelming. I know I was unprepared for some of the things that I encountered when I lost the weight. The way people regard you. The new attention you get. Suddenly I was smarter and more interesting. Suddenly people who seemed to want nothing to do with me before now wanted to be friendly. Also, I still deal with people who, I think, are maybe envious or even mad that I was successful. Fortunately, I think I am mature (or old lol ) enough to not care what anyone thinks (pretty much) and I do what I need to do to not totally fall off the wagon of my personal journey. Or, when I do, I also try to get right back on. Sorry, I am rambling...it is just that this is a complicated thing. I just hope I get it right.
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:51 AM   #14
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I agree 100 percent with you, that was the old me. Now I know I can no longer do that. Something clicked for me when I got my Fitbit. I don't know or understand what because it is not magic. I now believe you have to be ready. I set my mom up on the same system I have and she never wears her Fitbit everyday it is a different excuse. Her health is being affected by her weight in a big way but mentally she just is not there. You can nag and prod all you want but they have to want it.
I love my fitbit, too. It really helps keep me motivated and working towards meeting exercise goals. I also think you are totally right: you do have to be ready to lose weight and be healthy. You have to relearn things, like how to eat better and how to incorporate exercise. And...you have to STAY ready! You can't lose the weight and then sit around and eat bon bons. The weight piles on! I know - I have that t-shirt and it was getting tight so I stopped! Congrats on your success, too!
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Old 12-31-2013, 09:54 AM   #15
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I have to say...I think awareness is the key. It doesn't matter if you had WLS or not...sticking your head in the sand and not paying attention leads to gains. You have to be aware daily...weekly...monthly. Don't let 1,2,3 months go by without getting on the scale. It's kind of like finances..and other areas of our lives! Take inventory and get a plan.

I am dealing with my moms and her inablity to change her diet now. She doesn't seem to GET that what she puts in her mouth can cause her to dump...or cause her blood sugar to go up/down, etc. She had bypass with TWO revisions...she still has unstable blood sugars and sometimes bp. I think she was the WRONG candidate for this surgery. Sure, she lost a ton of weight...but its done a NUMBER on her mentally (her and ME too!). She was never a sweet eater before surgery....now, snickers hidden in her room, always trying to sneak sips of my kids pop, always buying sweets,...drives me crazy! She cannot seem to grasp that changes are necessary...She has been to the NUT and diabetes education...goes in one ear and out the other (if even that far!) she simply doesn't get carbs no matter how many times I explain it. Oatmeal for instance..she thinks that is good for her. Well, it might not be the worst thing but it affects her sugar and causes her to dump. Other people might not have a problem with it...but YOU do. I don't get it either.
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Old 01-01-2014, 08:46 AM   #16
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I wonder if the people that I know that are not doing very well know anything about"revisions?" I had never heard of this until I started coming here. What exactly is involved? I imagine because I had my surgery so long ago this may have not been an option so it was never discussed with me. I know in the very begining I had scar tissue form on my opening so I could barely swallow. The surgeon had to go back and stretch out the opening(now I wish he hadn't lol). Would this be a revision or just a correction? Interesting either way.
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Old 01-01-2014, 10:30 AM   #17
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I wonder if the people that I know that are not doing very well know anything about"revisions?" I had never heard of this until I started coming here. What exactly is involved? I imagine because I had my surgery so long ago this may have not been an option so it was never discussed with me. I know in the very begining I had scar tissue form on my opening so I could barely swallow. The surgeon had to go back and stretch out the opening(now I wish he hadn't lol). Would this be a revision or just a correction? Interesting either way.
I'm at a loss as to how a revision would help them? The surgery didn't fail. The breakdown is within themselves.

In your situation you had a dilation. Neither a revision nora correction. Just a surgical intervention for one of the known risks.
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Old 01-05-2014, 11:40 AM   #18
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Hi. Hot Tamale ~ I had the WLS and never heard of a Fitbit.... can you tell me what that is?
My surgery was 12 yrs ago and I'm starting, no, have gained 40 lbs back ~ so I joined here today and am starting on the Atkins and feeling very positive. Again, what is a Fitbit? Thanks for your input.
Dottie
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Old 01-05-2014, 04:45 PM   #19
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hi dottie - fitbit is a little device you wear - it attaches to your clothes, that tracks how many steps you take, calories you burn, flights of stairs you climb, and miles you travel. You can look at your into online, track your eating and weight, get friends, kinda compete or keep each other accountable, etc... I really like it. You should check it out online. PS: Welcome!
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Old 01-10-2014, 10:16 AM   #20
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I had WLS a lil over 10yrs. Ago. I maintained for almost 5 yrs. then I started gaining weight. I was going through a divorce and had people wanting me to go out with them to drink or eat or both. And bad habits started creeping in. I started slipping and haven't stopped til 2 weeks ago when I decided to start Atkins. I did not have anyone speak to me about nutrition. I was sent home with a pamphlet on when I could start eating soft foods then regular foods. All my doctor ever said to me was make sure you eat protein first and drink plenty of water. I assume the blame though as I was able to do what I needed to for almost 5 years. I did have sagging skin that I could not afford to have taken off. I never thought it would be a problem as I was 27 and my Dr. Said I was still young enough my skin would spring back. I hated looking at myself in the mirror....I went from a D cup to an A and it was nothing but skin hanging there. I had family telling me I was too thin. I think subconsciously gaining some weight back was my only option. I had lost 113lbs. My lowest weight being 127..... I maintained at 134. So when I started gaining weight back slowly I thought well maybe this is a good thing. My breast started getting fuller my stomach didn't sag so much and my family quit telling me I look sick. Problem was I kept going to eat and enjoying a social life and the lbs. kept coming. I thought I was happy and didn't pay attention to the scale. Before I know it I am 30lbs. heavier. Then I get depressed because I have ruined this wonderful tool I was given and pile on another 30 lbs. I thought I would be one of those people that would never gain the weight back.....I mean how silly would that be to go through all of that to lose weight and gain it back. But here I am trying to figure out an eating plan to get me back where I once was. Thankfully I haven't gained it all back. I do want to say when old eating habits and emotions find their way back into your life it is hard to keep them at bay. Thankfully I realize I cannot be the person my kids and husband need me to be in this current body....nor the person I want to be.
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Old 01-10-2014, 11:55 AM   #21
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Then I get depressed because I have ruined this wonderful tool I was given and pile on another 30 lbs.
You haven't ruined the tool. You just stopped using it. Pick back up and back to basics and it will work for you again. It may take a bit to prime it but it'll work.
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Old 01-10-2014, 05:55 PM   #22
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I agree with heather... if you cut out the sliders and focus on healthy, solid foods (meat and veggies) I bet you will find that you can't eat as much as an unaltered person lol

I too am doing low carb (nutritional ketosis) in order to try to get back down to my lowest weight. I am almost 4 yrs post VSG
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Old 01-11-2014, 07:54 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by Kimberlylhn View Post
I had WLS a lil over 10yrs. Ago. I maintained for almost 5 yrs. then I started gaining weight. I was going through a divorce and had people wanting me to go out with them to drink or eat or both. And bad habits started creeping in. I started slipping and haven't stopped til 2 weeks ago when I decided to start Atkins. I did not have anyone speak to me about nutrition. I was sent home with a pamphlet on when I could start eating soft foods then regular foods. All my doctor ever said to me was make sure you eat protein first and drink plenty of water. I assume the blame though as I was able to do what I needed to for almost 5 years. I did have sagging skin that I could not afford to have taken off. I never thought it would be a problem as I was 27 and my Dr. Said I was still young enough my skin would spring back. I hated looking at myself in the mirror....I went from a D cup to an A and it was nothing but skin hanging there. I had family telling me I was too thin. I think subconsciously gaining some weight back was my only option. I had lost 113lbs. My lowest weight being 127..... I maintained at 134. So when I started gaining weight back slowly I thought well maybe this is a good thing. My breast started getting fuller my stomach didn't sag so much and my family quit telling me I look sick. Problem was I kept going to eat and enjoying a social life and the lbs. kept coming. I thought I was happy and didn't pay attention to the scale. Before I know it I am 30lbs. heavier. Then I get depressed because I have ruined this wonderful tool I was given and pile on another 30 lbs. I thought I would be one of those people that would never gain the weight back.....I mean how silly would that be to go through all of that to lose weight and gain it back. But here I am trying to figure out an eating plan to get me back where I once was. Thankfully I haven't gained it all back. I do want to say when old eating habits and emotions find their way back into your life it is hard to keep them at bay. Thankfully I realize I cannot be the person my kids and husband need me to be in this current body....nor the person I want to be.
Hi Kimberley; I understand, sometimes our lowest weight isn't our best weight. You said you felt more comfortable with a little extra weight on. Maybe that is your right weight. I would love to get back into the 120's but I'm stuck in the 140's. I can maintain 143 w/o effort so maybe at 50+ this is my new weight. Who knows? I do know that when I did get into the 160's I needed to put the brakes on. I went to a few hypnosis sessions that were offered on Groupon- I purchased the re-enforcement tapes, did the 5 day pouch test and moved on. Like I said, I've been at 140-145 for the past few years. Like I said, would like to be less,I keep on trying but I am happy that I'm off the yo-yo.Now if I could only exercise. I know that is what would make the difference. At least I've given up buying gym memberships, I never go and it's just a waste of money. Sometimes we are who we are and that's all there is to it.
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