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Old 05-22-2014, 11:55 AM   #1
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Time for a journal!

After rollercoasting through alcohol and carbohydrate binges, feeling terrible, feeling sick, feeling depressed, feeling achy in every part of my body:

I decided that yesterday, I would stop all carbs. Just keep it simple. I love diet soda. I love dairy. I thought, why not find a way to keep my food extra rewarding, not count any calories, and just DO THIS THING. See what happens.

So yesterday (5/21/14)

I ate:

coffee with HWC, a three egg omelette with some cheese, leftover pot roast, and sour cream/cholula on the side. It was: very delicious.

Then I ate: four pieces of ham with cheese in the middle, fried up in a pan, with a side of yellow mustard: delicious.

Then I ate: a bunch of rotisserie chicken, dipped in sour cream and cholula: delicious.

Then I ate: several spoonfuls of splenda'd whipped cream. Yummy.

Then I ate: some chicken wrapped up with muenster cheese and claussen's pickle slices. Quite delicious!!

Then I ate: sugar free jello with splenda'd whipped cream. Yummy.

Then, on top of all this? I consumed about 6 diet mountain Dews, which were very delicious.

I was happy. I was eating tons. It was all yummy.

I went pee all night.

This morning I got on the scale and I had gone from 192 to 188.

What a perfect start.

Also, I am feeling...chipper. For once. Like happy. Happy? Did someone say Happy? Even with PMS?

Yes.
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Old 05-23-2014, 07:35 AM   #2
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Off all carbs day 3.

Ok, so I know cheese has carbs, and cream has carbs, and even my diet mountain dew probably has carbs. But I have figured out a little something about my physiology while reading around yesterday.

There is a variant of alcoholism in which the individuals are EXTREMELY SENSITIVE to sugar.

I don't gain weight rapidly, although I do gain weight. What I mean is that I am more of a mesomorph type, so when I gain weight it tends to be all over my body, heavy on thighs and calves, and appears to cap off close to 200 pounds. I don't get the morbid (300+) obesity others do: well, maybe it could happen with enough years? I suppose, but I don't have the rapid-up-to-morbid-obesity body type that a certain percentage of people have here. I have the utmost respect for people with this type, who gain so fast they don't even know what smacked them, yet they come to LCF and stay with it for years, and they end up looking and feeling wonderful. These are the people I am so interested in, here. Partly because they know they are in it for the long haul. They also know they have to keep carbs very low. You learn these things over time with a body that leans toward very heavy.

I also have to do these two things, but not for the reasons you might expect. I can eat huge, enormous amounts of carbohydrate for months and my body will still top out just under 200. I think 199 was my highest and that was a year of eating/drinking. I don't think the people who gain more have that experience.

So I have to do these two things (very low carbs + the long haul) because I am EXTREMELY SENSITIVE to sugar. What does that mean? Binging. Total loss of control. And alcoholism.

Those three issues, IMHO, are just as if not much worse than what a body experiences with the rapid gains.

Food and alcohol WILL KILL me young. If I don't do this, I won't be long for this world.

Being this sensitive to carbohydrate, I have noticed that especially when I am out of whack (i.e. persistently high insulin) even the slightest amount of carbohydrate can set me off. No joke. A salad can do it.

Also: because I have an addictive personality I am a reward junkie. Salad won't fire me up like my beloved diet soda will. Keeping the sweet taste out of food, will also keep me from feeling "rewarded."

So this is how I arrived at my "protein, plus tons of dairy/cream, diet soda" diet.

No, it isn't sustainable.

No, it probably isn't even healthy.

I know that over time, I will eat vegetables again. I actually love vegetables. I love them enough that when I eat them, I will eat more than I should, and I will set off my insulin again.

SO:

Yesterday: coffee with cream, the 3-egg omelette with pot roast, cheese, sour cream and cholula. One hour later, the diet mountain dew.

But a funny thing happened: I wasn't as hungry.

So I didn't eat again til afternoon, and I did the dill pickles slice/chicken/cheese thing again, sometimes just the dill pickle with cheese.

At dinner I made huge bacon cheeseburgers. I think I ate two with two dill pickle slices.

I couldn't have eaten more than 1.5 whole pickles, I think.

I ate these with mustard.

Then after dinner, I had a few spoonfuls of whipped cream, and one diet mountain dew.

In all: less calories than day one, and less diet mountain dews, as well.

This morning: I went from 188.2 to 187.0

So far so good. Really good. Its not just good food and FINALLY doing something about it, its also getting off the craving rollercoaster, which for me is 80 percent of this thing.

Last edited by moonmirror; 05-23-2014 at 07:39 AM..
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Old 05-24-2014, 08:27 AM   #3
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I won't do a long update today: just a brief synopsis.

Cheeseburgers, dill pickles, cheese, sugarfree jello, diet soda and whipping cream. Also, I had 2 hot dogs, I chose one of the better brands to lower the carbs.

I am sure I am eating close to 20 carbs sometimes with all the cheese, cream, diet mountain dew. But it can't be more than that, esp since my calories have dropped off.

I am happy to report that this morning, I had gone from 187.0 to 185.6

I am a very happy camper. My brain is nice and even. I am sleeping long hours in the night (getting up only to pee, you know the pee thing!) and I have reduced alcohol and food cravings down to zero.

Out of all this? The weight loss, the better sleep, the mental stability: the very best thing is elimination of cravings, and elimination of cravings is really THE REASON I do this, yes I am chubby but not completely unhappy with the way I look.

Its the terrible addicted cycle I am trying to leap off of.

BTW I see people check the journal out, you are welcome to say hello, offer a gentle critique, or say something funny.
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Old 05-24-2014, 08:38 AM   #4
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Hi moonmirror
You are doing great!!!

I also have binging problem so I know how you feel. Keep up the good work!!!
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Old 05-24-2014, 05:04 PM   #5
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Thanks for the encouragement!
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Old 05-25-2014, 09:36 AM   #6
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Day five today.

Feeling "squishy" all over and not a bit smaller! Also a little "pecky" and tired: but my period starts in 5-7 days, so this makes sense.

I am also up in weight! Gah! I think its so strange that I always know when I've gone up, even if its a small amount. I went from 185.6 to 186.2.

I'm wondering if I might want to start adding in small amounts of vegetables, as long as I'm not getting the rapid weight loss anymore? Or if I should stick to '72 levels? Yesterday, I had four pieces of hard sugarfree candy (which was a big mistake actually, but I was stuck at work without a snack, I was charting and a little hungry) 2 tbs of fresh salsa, and one dill pickle, I also ate my husband's chile verde (made without sugar) and scraped off as much "verde" as I could but its still in the meat. Few more carbs yesterday.

Also, we don't have as much available meat in the house and I've been grabbing more cheese than meat, because its all we have. Just that one thing can make a difference.

I'm not necessarily referring to the small gain in weight I am referring to the fact that I feel really fat! And I shouldn't on LC with water and fat losses.

Anyway: I think I will let myself have a "serving" of veggies (1/2 cup) with two of my meals, I will measure them out, so they feel like actual meals, and I don't get as snacky.

I will also try to keep the diet soda to the times in the day when I feel I need rewards and not all day long, this might help me drink more ice water instead.

And I will watch my carbs with an eagle eye!

Other than all this nitpicking, I am definitely still on plan.

I'm nitpicking because I have never really stuck to this long enough to get to goal Couple years back I did lose to below 160 and my size 10's fit loosely on me, it was great. I would be quite content actually to look like that again, I don't "need" to get to 140. When I lose weight I lose it all in my tummy and thighs and arms, my boobs stay nice and racked, so its not like I don't look really good just losing 20-30.

What I really NEED to do is stick to this so my addictions don't go off the rails. I am trying to cement in my brain the need for long-term lowcarb, the kind of long-term that doesn't involve cheating: because I am a hot addicted mess, people and I am ready to be OVER and DONE and FINISHED with ALL BINGING. All of it. I'm using lowcarb as a tool to eliminate binging on sugar and alcohol, and because that is my number one goal, I can't let myself get sidetracked by weight, which really should just be a nice benefit to improving my insulin levels, improving my mental stability and just having a happier life.
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Old 05-25-2014, 03:01 PM   #7
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Moon- I always feel fat 1 week before TOM.
You are doing great. Just take one day at the time and you will "cement" the low carb lifestyle to stop the binging once and for all. You will get there!
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Old 05-26-2014, 11:20 AM   #8
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Day 6.

Last night, had a reasonably big salad. We went out for dinner to a place that has make your own salads. I added double egg, feta, olives, mushroom, steak: the least carby things I could think of, but it was still a much higher carb meal than I have eaten all week.

We went by the store to pick up dessert, my husband bought ice cream for himself, I bought sugarfree jello to mix with sugarfree whipped cream.

The scale was wonky today. It went as high as 185.6 and as low as 183.2. I couldn't get it to give me a straight answer. Out of about 12 tries, I think four of them were 184.8, so I will take that as the truth.

But 184.8 is SO MUCH LOWER than 193, especially less than a week before TOM, so I am going to conclude that this diet is not only helping with my cravings, giving me MUCH MORE ENERGY, but also causing me to lose weight.

The funny thing is over the last year I have positively demonized dairy, artificial sweeteners, diet soda, and ANYTHING processed with all these Paleo attempts. Now I'm kind of pissed at the whole paleo thing, because the truth is I kept feeling like potatoes were ok, and fruit was ok, and as many roasted root veggies I wanted were ok, and carrots were ok: when the truth is that I HAVE ELEVATED INSULIN LEVELS, and the processed food is better FOR ME PERSONALLY as long as it is low in carbs. I've been gaining weight all year because of this paleo BS.

Low in carbs. Low in carbs. Low in carbs. That's my mantra, now.

I will eat it if its low in carbs.
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Old 05-27-2014, 04:14 PM   #9
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I didn't check in today, because I didn't weigh!

But I did stay on plan. Because that's just what I do.

Weigh in tomorrow! TOM is here!
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Old 05-28-2014, 08:40 AM   #10
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185.2

Bugger! Weight loss stopped. Period started yesterday. Hopefully just a bump up because of hormones, we will see.

Or maybe I should change my ratios a bit, add in some vegetables. My plan was to do VLC for "a while," and see how it goes.

Since I have TOM right now, this isn't necesssarily a game changer. Usually I go way up at TOM.
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Old 05-28-2014, 09:28 AM   #11
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It could very well be tom
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Old 05-28-2014, 10:40 AM   #12
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stay the course. You are doing so well !
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:40 PM   #13
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Good luck to you and keep it up! Eat what works for you each day and keep heading toward better and better health You are already doing great!
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Old 05-29-2014, 09:43 AM   #14
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185.2

Changing it up. I know its not a true stall, but I am no longer in ketosis and I know that. I guess I just know my body!

Having lowcarbed since 2002, I also know what tweaks to do.

So here I go, now that I no longer have cravings and I am over a week in:

1. Ditch the cream in coffee for mostly almond milk and splash of half and half.

2. Add in a few vegetables at meals.

3. Stop using cheese as a main dish, and use it only as a garnish.

4. Stop mainlining fat in general: add fat to meals ad lib but no need to drink cream from the carton

5. Stop eating any food after the main meal in the evening.

6. Tend toward using mustard instead of tons of mayo, cream cheese, sour cream.

7 Switch from standard diet soda to Zevia

8. Switch from Splenda to Truvia.

These tweaks usually do it for me.
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Old 05-30-2014, 09:41 AM   #15
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Hope the new tweaks work well for you. KUTGW!
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Old 06-04-2014, 10:21 AM   #16
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Hi everyone!!!!

Beyond busy. Just crazy busy at work.

I ate some carbs. One piece of cake at my daughter's IB dinner, and then someone dropped off a BUNCH of cupcakes and cookies.

I ended up doing some pretty severe intermittent fasting, then having carbs, but no binging. No eating (just cream and coffee in am) until 6pm. Mostly because of work. Then I'd eat protein, some junky carbs, some vegetables, and a multivite. I usually stopped eating around 9:30, sometimes 10. Pretty long fasting periods. I actually really enjoyed it.

I went down to 182.6.

But yesterday I kept the intermittent fasting pattern and went back to lowcarb. Hopefully IF + LC will help avoid stalls. I have SO MANY events coming up this summer!
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