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Old 05-15-2014, 12:46 AM   #31
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Old 05-15-2014, 12:49 AM   #32
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Having a low day today. It's aggravating to be the same size after struggling for so long.
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Old 05-15-2014, 07:37 AM   #33
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I really feel for your struggle right now. It is soooo hard to keep motivated to do.....well, anything when you feel like you're working hard and not getting any farther along. The bummer is that our bodies just take a break sometimes. I think to regroup and adjust. But it makes it tough to keep to it when you can't see the results of your hard work.
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Old 05-21-2014, 12:23 AM   #34
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So the weekend was a bust. Real bad.
DH and I had a decent time. It rained most of the time.
So we ate a lot. Not gonna lie, there was plenty of mindless eating. Sugar, chocolate, carbs, all of it.
Monday tipped the scales back at my highest weight. So from January to now, I lost and gained 10 lbs. And TOM is next week, so I've already started to retain water. Nothing fits.

Instead of just 'getting back' on the wagon. I've done nothing. I made a Greek quinoa salad, DH made homemade soup using soup grains/mix. I've tried to just eat normal, without overeating. Yesterday was the first success at that.

I've been focusing my energy instead on meditation. I'm trying to calm things from the inside out. I'm starting to feel like my body is the result of a lot of brain noise. I doubt I'll go so far as to get to intuitive eating, but right now I'm just having a pause on the whole "diet" thing. I want to take some time to try to heal things internally before I set out on another determined endeavor.
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Old 05-21-2014, 03:16 AM   #35
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Feel better dear girl. Not focusing on "diet" just might be the perfect thing for you. Especially if the brain noise is because of the dieting. Too much obsessing and all that.

Oh I get that!

Do what you feel is right.
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Old 05-21-2014, 07:46 AM   #36
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It can definitely be all-consuming, this diet/food/eating/weightloss thing. That can be a great thing when you have 100% motivation and are feeling positive about it. But when fatigue sets in, and obsessions take over, not good. A break can really be exactly what we need at those times. You know what you need right not, and you're honoring it. Good job!
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Old 05-24-2014, 04:10 AM   #37
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Thanks Daisy & Carol.
So yesterday I had had enough. PMS bloat is painful at this point because I've put on so much weight.

I have a friend visiting in 8 weeks time. I figured that's a short enough time to get things in gear.

Plan of action:
Ok to eat
Meat
Fish
Eggs
Cheese (only up to 60g per day)
Mayonaise, oil, coconut oil, butter, mustard, sugar-free sauces
Fruit: Olives, Tomatoes, Lemons, Limes
Vegetables: All except those not allowed (listed below)
A glass of wine or whisky is ok occasionally

No:
Beer, chocolate, flour (even coconut/ almond), snacks, crackers, junk food, popcorn
Vegetables not allowed: Carrots, Beets, Peas, acorn and butternut squash, water chestnuts, Parsnips, Potatoes in all forms, Sweet Potatoes, Corn
Fruit such as apples, oranges, etc.

ONE cheat meal allowed every two weeks, to keep motivation up/ prevent out-of-control eating.

Also, I've change my goal weight. Somehow 125 feels more obtainable, since I got down to 127 last February. And really, I'm ok being 125 lbs. At least I was for quite a few years.
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:15 AM   #38
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Good luck with this plan. It sounds like a winner. And having that added motivation in weeks should go a long way to keeping you on track.
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Old 05-27-2014, 01:31 AM   #39
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*sigh* TOM right now. Last night I could not resist the fruit & nut cadbury's chocolate DH was eating. Damn you Cadbury's! *shakes fist*
That said, scale finally went down.

5/24 142 This was binge bloat from Friday night.
5/25 139
5/26 139
5/27 137.8

I also got some much needed sleep. Sunday night was difficult, and then last night I think I slept a solid 9 hours. That usually doesn't happen.

Need to get back to the gym. I'm paying for it, and I hate wasting money. I know I would feel better if I went too. It's just getting the damn motivation for it. That and I know my workout gear will be tight fitting as all heck.

Ugh. Lord give me strength today. Work has been a bear for the last several months. Doesn't look to be improving at all of late.
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Old 05-27-2014, 09:12 AM   #40
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Scale went down after chocolate and during TOM? Sounds like a win to me!
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Old 05-27-2014, 11:47 PM   #41
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Carol - you're absolutely right!

5/24 142 This was binge bloat from Friday night.
5/25 139
5/26 139
5/27 137.8
5/28 136.8 down another!

Yesterday was incredibly stressful and a highly adrenalin-loaded day. There wasn't any lunch, and when I got home I had little appetite because I was still wound up from work. Not ideal, but at least I benefit from it in some way.

Not sure today will be much different. Silver lining, I suppose.
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Old 05-28-2014, 01:55 PM   #42
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Wow! You go girl!
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Old 06-05-2014, 03:14 AM   #43
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I have no idea where I'm at or where I'm going.
I try doing low carb. I stick to it, have a mild success, and then something good or bad happens, overeating starts. I do all my eating in the evenings it seems. Drained from work. Drained from worrying about work and the next day and whether or not I'll find a job in 6 months when my contract is up.

I started reading Ditching Diets. There's something about IE that makes sense. I just hope I can lose weight on it? But really, anymore I feel like I'd be happy to move the goal post.

In January I wanted 120 lbs. A few weeks ago, it was changed to 125. Today, I'd be happy with 130. Funny, because I was maintain 131ish in February.

Today I had a good sized breakfast. I have homemade chicken soup for lunch. The key is to eat dinner and then leave it at that. I need to confront the "boredom" eating or the "anxious" eating. Gillian Riley chalks all of it up to "addictive eating." No matter what the label, really you need to take the bull by the horns and make a choice. Reinforce the wiring of overeating? Or let the signals in the brain play out like a child tantrum and start to re-wire things.
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Old 06-05-2014, 03:51 AM   #44
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You'll figure it out. But sometimes it can be so frustrating! Hang in there.
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Old 06-05-2014, 10:51 AM   #45
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Oh, I know what you're going through. Work stress makes it so tough to focus on eating and taking care of yourself.
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Old 06-06-2014, 04:20 AM   #46
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Thanks Carol, CC.

Yesterday was ok. I made sure that dinner was something I *wanted* instead of just the normal soup that the DH has been making for ages. Sure, it's filling, but it isn't fantastic, which leads me to more grazing for something pleasurable.

So I got "chili" seasoned pre-cooked chicken breast meat to throw on top of a salad with my favorite garlic & herb dressing. I made it huge, to cover a big dinner plate, and added two pieces of cheese. I also had a small green apple.

The noise in my head after dinner was the worst! Gillian Riley talks about accepting the addictive desire to eat. Instead of labeling it or negotiating with it - I just had to let the noise play out. It's amazing how many times I had the urge to "just find a nibble to eat" in the kitchen. Crazy. It's such a habit to continually snack after dinner.

I did give in once and have a tablespoon of crunchy peanut butter...but that's better than the usual fare: 1-2 pieces of fruit, 3-6 oatcakes with more cheese, 2-3 tablespoons of peanut butter and 2-4 squares of dark chocolate.
Now that I think about it, I probably have a solid 500-700 calories of "mindless grazing" that I do in the evenings. When you add that onto generous meals throughout the day AND a glass (or two) of wine in the evenings.

And I don't want to get caught in the trap of counting calories. But it is easy to see how the compulsory, recreational eating in the evenings insn't helping me any.
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Old 06-06-2014, 07:48 AM   #47
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I have always tended toward that kind of evening eating too, and it has been a battle to tame it at times. But there have been times where I've gone months and months without having it hit too hard. In fact, it really did become a habit to finish dinner (late-ish, like 7:30) sit down to read or watch TV, and not even think about more eating the rest of the evening. Breaking the habit really is the first and hardest step. Then it just feels normal. I never thought I could do it either, but it is possible.
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Old 06-06-2014, 08:42 AM   #48
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mind if I follow along ?? I eat in the evenings too.... can be good all day without problems, but whoa ! watch out after supper !!

You sound like you are doing well and really thinking this through. Good luck !!
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Old 07-23-2014, 11:02 AM   #49
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Well, I'm back.
I ventured off into not really caring and eating way too much. Then came having a house guest who eats a lot herself.

My weigh ballooned up to 146, probably my highest ever (first reached in December 2012). To see that number was just gut wrenching. To think I had actually got down to 127 last February. Ugh.

But beating myself up isn't helping.
Yesterday I was determined to get back on track.
I woke up 145.6 lb.
I had one last biscuit (left by my house guest), but kept my carbs down for the rest of the day.
Final macros: 1261 cals, 23g carbs total, 3g fiber, 86g fat, and 52g protein

Today I woke up 141.8 lb.
So far today, 888 cal, 7g carbs, 2g fiber, 68g fat, 30g protein. I'm shooting for 1200-1400 cal per day, with total carbs under 20g.
I know I need to eat a little more, so I'm going to get some nuts, either almond, walnut or macadamia, whichever is cheapest.

I think I've been avoiding keto flu with the homemade chicken broth I have in the morning. Surprisingly I'm not starving or feeling fatigued.
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Old 07-23-2014, 11:25 AM   #50
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Hi! Glad to have you back around!
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Old 07-23-2014, 11:46 AM   #51
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You're off to a great (re)start, and I'm so happy to see you back here. You're going to get right back to where you want to be.
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Old 07-23-2014, 12:01 PM   #52
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Thanks CC & Carol. I'm trying not to despair. It's really aggravating, but there's no alternative but to do something about it.
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Old 07-24-2014, 11:44 AM   #53
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140.6 this morning.
Cals are done for today: 1229 cals, 13g carb, 4g fiber, 93g fat, 37 protein.
I need to up the protein a bit. The ankerl keto calculator says I should have a minimum of 61g protein.
I used a keto pee stick last night, and I'm showing ketones already, which is pretty surprising. I feel ok. I feel tired, but I think it's more to mental/ emotional exhaustion - my work is incredibly stressful right now. Last night I took a xanax (acquired, I don't have a prescription) and slept soooooo well. Oh, to have that sort of sleep every night.
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Old 07-24-2014, 01:06 PM   #54
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Sounds like a good day. I'm sure you'll get your macros right where you want them over time. It's a lot to adjust all at one time.

Have a good sleep tonight!
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Old 07-26-2014, 03:50 AM   #55
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7/22: 145.6
7/23: 141.8
7/24: 140.6
7/25: 138.6
7/26: 138.0

Doing pretty well. Food-wise, yesterday was positive and negative. Negative, in that I ate way too much, but....everything was on plan. I didn't eat sugar/bread/ high carb stuff. I had quite a few vodka & diet lemonades that went down well with the DH's Greek-inspired dinner. I guess I woke up somewhat lighter due to the dehydration?

This morning I walked 5 miles, very slowly because I pulled a calf muscle trying to run across the street during a light change. And I plan to stick to the usual low-carb food. Even if the calories goes over a bit on the weekends, I'm not going to kill myself. It's easier to keep the calories down during the week. I'm also close to the PMS zone, so I'm trying to be kind. I'm anticipating a slow down of the weight loss. I was around 138-139 before my guest visited, so most of the 140+ was bloat I suppose. Now the true weight loss will be more difficult.
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Old 07-26-2014, 09:31 AM   #56
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I think you're doing incredibly well! 7.6 pounds in only 5 days! That's unbelievable!
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Old 07-26-2014, 09:36 AM   #57
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You really are doing great, and you sound calm and well planned out. Have a great weekend!
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:35 AM   #58
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CC & Carol, you guys are my cheerleaders. Thank you.
Today 139.4. I overate again last night. Maybe not 100% on plan, but there you go. At least I didn't overeat to the point of getting back to 140+. Just.

No option but to get back in the saddle today. Feeling pretty good. Looking in the mirror, I realize I have more of a problem of just the weight - my mid 30s are hitting hard: I have no tone.
I used to have an enviable washboard stomach in my 20s. It made up for my heavier-set hips/ thick thighs. I've noticed lately that now weight is going to my middle and my upper body now. I suppose this is age-related. And it's more visible in my face. I hate that!
So today begins the situps/pushups/ arm exercises. I need to do weight training, and I know it. The hard part is actually doing it.
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Old 07-27-2014, 12:05 PM   #59
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Seeing your body change as you age isn't easy. I'm 55 and I still want my 16 and 20 year-old bodies. Just can't let myself give in. The exercises will help. Good for you!
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Old 07-28-2014, 02:39 AM   #60
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CC - good to know.
Today I'm at 138.2! I couldn't believe it. Yesterday I was back to eating NK-safe foods, but I felt like I had too much to eat (and two vodka & diet lemonades). I was peeing a lot yesterday too, which was strange. And I'm definitely entering the PMS week.

Looking in the mirror, the modest amount of situps I did yesterday seemed to have a slight effect. My abs are sore, and I looked MUCH less bloated. My arms are sore too. I think I need to stick with this.

Last night I was toying with the idea of doing JUDDD style rotations with NK style eating, but I think right now I'll just stick to the NK program and see how far I get. I think overall I'm far less bloated now that I've given up the excess crap. I miss my wine & beer, but seeing my stomach look decent this morning was a boost in the right direction.
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