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Old 06-02-2014, 08:25 AM   #181
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...One other little niggling thought is, I wonder if maybe my body really is telling me I need more on UDs since the average between UDs and DDs is just not enough. ...
I think this is important to be alert for. So much of the 'diet mentality' that surrounds us in day to day life, can make us think that less is always better. But our bodies need what they need.
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Old 06-02-2014, 09:51 AM   #182
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that having enough thing is the bomb. I was in NYC all week and left something on every plate I ate. Love the awareness, the consciousness, and the lightness of being when that happens!
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Old 06-02-2014, 10:58 AM   #183
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I'm so glad to have all of you guys to share all this with. I love all your comments and thoughts, and it really helps me bring my thoughts and feeling into sharper focus.

I find I'm not being perfectly JUDDD or perfectly IE, but I also just know I'm learning so much and that is the important thing right now. I did spend quite a bit of time reading Intuitive Eating over the weekend. I'm usually a fast reader, but I'm trying to really read it slowly and take in the ideas. There's tons of ideas that are really striking a chord, but I haven't marked any of them yet. I'm trying to just read and soak. Then I'll probably read it again and make some notes. I'm really liking this book so far. It's not as "fun" a read as Spinardi, but it seems to go deeper into the concepts and steps. I think they are a good combination of reads.

Yesterday, I took my time to savor my foods, and I am amazed at what I've been missing, scarfing food down. Everything was just bursting with flavor and goodness. I want this all the time, so that is on me to push away all distractions every time I'm eating.

I'm not weighing, and I'm not sure if I'm losing any or not, but my workouts are showing me some nice muscle definition (underneath the... you know....extra stuff), so that is keeping me well motivated.

Today would be a DD, but I think I want to focus on IE today. I'll eat lighter foods, but I want to really feel all the sensations and not worry about calories in the least, either way.
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Old 06-02-2014, 02:50 PM   #184
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In the true spirit of IE today, I had some brownie batter a couple of different times today.

I have been having sweet cravings like crazy and have been having the inevitable guilt feelings, and saying to myself "you have to stop with the sugar, you're addicted again." After reading the book IE this weekend, I realized I am setting myself up to binge each time I promise myself to cut those things out of my diet completely.

So this morning, when I decided to have an IE day instead of a straight DD, I gave myself permission to have the batter. I know it sounds crazy, but if anyone can understand it, you guys will. I wanted the batter, NOT baked brownies. That's never happened before! Well anyway, I had it. I did it twice. That's all I've had today except for water and now I'm drinking a diet Dr. Pepper. It doesn't take all that much of the stuff to feel full, and it sticks with me quite awhile. I may have a little fruit later, or maybe I'll not need anything until my light dinner of salad and salmon patties. I think I might be able to free myself from sweet cravings this way. (???)

That said, sugar really does NOT feel good in my body, so I know long term I don't want to eat that much of it. But I want to get to that point where I'm making decisions based on how it feels, and not because I think I shouldn't have it. And the learning just keeps on coming!
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Old 06-02-2014, 02:54 PM   #185
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I think that's great! And at that rate you'll still end up with a low day. Amazing!
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Old 06-02-2014, 03:04 PM   #186
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Brownie batter....I can relate! You are rocking IE!
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Old 06-02-2014, 03:18 PM   #187
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I just discovered brownie brittle. It's amazing and a little bit goes a long way. Probably not what you want to hear on your road back from the sugar brink, but I still had to share.
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Old 06-02-2014, 05:34 PM   #188
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They love to give out samples of Brownie Brittle at our Costco. I've sampled, but haven't dared to buy any. It really is good! However, I can see where a little piece would satisfy both e desire for crunch and chocolate sweetness!
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Old 06-03-2014, 07:57 AM   #189
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I think that's great! And at that rate you'll still end up with a low day. Amazing!
I do believe it was a low day. I didn't count, but I'm pretty sure I was well under 1000, probably lower than that. And I felt great at the end of the day.

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Brownie batter....I can relate! You are rocking IE!
Thanks girl!

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I just discovered brownie brittle. It's amazing and a little bit goes a long way. Probably not what you want to hear on your road back from the sugar brink, but I still had to share.
Oooooohhhh, that sounds evil-good. I've never seen such a thing.

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They love to give out samples of Brownie Brittle at our Costco. I've sampled, but haven't dared to buy any. It really is good! However, I can see where a little piece would satisfy both e desire for crunch and chocolate sweetness!
Hmmm, Costco huh? I'm glad I let my membership there lapse.
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Old 06-03-2014, 09:02 AM   #190
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Hey girl! I'm Back!

Hope you are doing well!
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Old 06-04-2014, 09:06 AM   #191
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Oh I can relate to the brownie batter real easy. To easy to be truthful.
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Old 06-04-2014, 12:15 PM   #192
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Hey girl! I'm Back!

Hope you are doing well!
Happy for me, but sorry your vacay is over so soon!

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Oh I can relate to the brownie batter real easy. To easy to be truthful.
It was gooooooood!
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Old 06-04-2014, 12:26 PM   #193
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How was your hunger level the day after your brownie batter?
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Old 06-04-2014, 01:58 PM   #194
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I don't think I was reacting to the restriction of the previous DD. I really honestly don't. I think I'm adjusting to not needing as much food, and am resenting the smaller portions.
Wow. Really astute observation. I hadn't articulated that for myself but have had nights where I sat down to eat and really missed my head dictating how much food I consumed as opposed to my stomach. I could eat huge amounts of food before and I get full with much smaller portions. A trigger for me in the past has been talking and being distracted when I first start eating a meal. I don't really taste the food. I don't check in with myself. Then I notice I'm at my full point and I never got to enjoy my meal.

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Old 06-04-2014, 02:11 PM   #195
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That said, sugar really does NOT feel good in my body, so I know long term I don't want to eat that much of it. But I want to get to that point where I'm making decisions based on how it feels, and not because I think I shouldn't have it. And the learning just keeps on coming!
Great point. I think when we notice a pattern of eating too much sugar and then having an energy crash, that's useful information that can help us make better choices. If a food decision comes from an organic and intuitive place, it feels good to me. If it makes me anxious or resentful or guilty, it probably came from some diet guru or people around me. I am at this very moment having a cup of chai. I saw some tea bags at the store and it sounded good. I drank the first few sips with no sweetener. I kept thinking ooh this would be perfect if I added some honey. Then the mean girl voice said it was healthier all bland and tasteless. I added some honey and it is delicious!!

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Old 06-05-2014, 02:51 AM   #196
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Old 06-05-2014, 05:29 AM   #197
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Old 06-05-2014, 07:03 AM   #198
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Hey girlie...Sounds like you are in tune with yourself, such an awesome feeling!
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Old 06-05-2014, 02:16 PM   #199
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How was your hunger level the day after your brownie batter?
You know, it was very much in control. I felt almost a "cleansing" feeling in allowing myself to do that. It still felt like sugar, kinda yucky feeling afterward, but my tongue wanted it. And I did enjoy it and felt freed of it. I have had small amounts of sugar in the few days since, but have felt NONE of that desperate, gotta have more more more feeling. Zero. This is very weird for me.

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Wow. Really astute observation. I hadn't articulated that for myself but have had nights where I sat down to eat and really missed my head dictating how much food I consumed as opposed to my stomach. I could eat huge amounts of food before and I get full with much smaller portions. A trigger for me in the past has been talking and being distracted when I first start eating a meal. I don't really taste the food. I don't check in with myself. Then I notice I'm at my full point and I never got to enjoy my meal.

Joanna
Yes, I almost felt like I was getting my reward at the end of the day, with a nice big plateful of dinner. It's a new thing for me to not use food as my reward.

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Great point. I think when we notice a pattern of eating too much sugar and then having an energy crash, that's useful information that can help us make better choices. If a food decision comes from an organic and intuitive place, it feels good to me. If it makes me anxious or resentful or guilty, it probably came from some diet guru or people around me. I am at this very moment having a cup of chai. I saw some tea bags at the store and it sounded good. I drank the first few sips with no sweetener. I kept thinking ooh this would be perfect if I added some honey. Then the mean girl voice said it was healthier all bland and tasteless. I added some honey and it is delicious!!

Joanna
Yes, totally agree with you there! I'm so glad your chai tea was delicious. So food = reward, and sometimes food = penance. Aren't we weird creatures?

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Hey girl! What's up for you today???
Busy day today! But feeling good and getting stuff done. I can't believe it's Thursday already! Friday Eve!!!

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Hey girlie...Sounds like you are in tune with yourself, such an awesome feeling!
Thanks, sweet Blonde! I'm getting there. Right now I'm in a pretty good place, but I know I'll have ups and downs, like always. I'm trying to learn as much as I can when it's working, so I'll have more tools to fall back on when I'm not feelin' it as much.

************************************************** *************

Yesterday was what I'm beginning to call D-ishD/IE was really good. I did have to stop myself from habit snacking in the afternoon, but realized I wasn't at all hungry and it wasn't too hard. I didn't count anything either, which helped me feel much freer about it. I guess I've put in enough time on JUDDD that I can intuit approximately where I am calorie wise, and I felt comfortable it was a successful DD.

Today, UD/IE, I felt some rare hunger grumbles around 8:00 but was involved in work busy-ness and so waited. By the time I had my coffee/hwc at around 11:15, I wasn't hungry, but I sure enjoyed it. Just finished my lunch of a couple of ounces of summer sausage and sweet potatoes w/splenda, cinnamon, and lots of butter. Whoa....YUM! I sat in my "special eating spot" far away from my desk and computer and enjoyed it. I started feeling freaked out when it cooled down and was just at the warm stage, but then I realized it was still absolutely delicious. Maybe I'm getting a little bit past my hot/cold obsession. At least with some foods.

Tonight I'm making BLTs, and normally I toast white bread for everyone else and have mine in lettuce leaves with no bread. I'm not at all in love with white bread and don't miss it, but today I am considering having a real sandwich with bread. It sounds kind of good. I truly don't normally leave it off to restrict. I don't mind that it saves some cals and carbs, but it's just not that great. But today I may be low on cals (who is this person???) so if it sounds good at dinnertime, I'll have bread.

I'm feeling like my tummy is flattening out again. When I was having my sugar party recently, I just felt so bloated and puffy and yuck. What a relief to start feeling like myself again. Still no plans to weigh. It just doesn't matter right now. Love that!
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Old 06-06-2014, 05:30 AM   #200
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How healthy is your attitude girl!?!?!?!?

So do tell, did you have a BLT with the bread??? You are really coming full circle.
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Old 06-06-2014, 05:30 AM   #201
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Plans for the weekend?
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Old 06-06-2014, 06:01 AM   #202
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Still no plans to weigh. It just doesn't matter right now. Love that!
This is incredible! I would be so curious. Sounds like you're doing great! Love reading your posts.
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Old 06-06-2014, 07:29 AM   #203
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Hey Carol, great post! I am a bread lover and have always had a hard time giving it up. I try to keep 'good' bread around, in case I give in and eat it. Also I'm less likely to give in to whole wheat...but can't resist buttermilk or sourdough bread. Your observations are really good.
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Old 06-06-2014, 07:59 AM   #204
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How healthy is your attitude girl!?!?!?!?

So do tell, did you have a BLT with the bread??? You are really coming full circle.
Thanks Monica! I did have the bread, toasted to perfection. It was so good, and much easier to eat than wrapped in lettuce leaves!

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This is incredible! I would be so curious. Sounds like you're doing great! Love reading your posts.
Thanks CC! I'm enjoying this ride, and you're the one who got me to take it.

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Hey Carol, great post! I am a bread lover and have always had a hard time giving it up. I try to keep 'good' bread around, in case I give in and eat it. Also I'm less likely to give in to whole wheat...but can't resist buttermilk or sourdough bread. Your observations are really good.
Thank you Blonde! I don't have much use for plain old bread anymore, but I love good bread. In fact, I made a homemade dinner roll recipe into breadsticks the other night to go with spaghetti and meatballs and they were DIVINE. They came out a little porn-sized, IYKWIM. But they sure were yummy with good, real butter.
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Old 06-06-2014, 08:29 AM   #205
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I DO know what you mean! Thanks for the giggle!
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Old 06-06-2014, 11:48 AM   #206
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I'm having some DD anxieties today, and I'm not sure why. I had some restriction feelings this morning, but gave myself permission to have what felt right to eat today. I've had probably 350 calories in Coffee/HWC, cottage cheese, and a peach so far. Big salad for lunch is the plan. Dinner is still unknown. I think it may be just habit to feel a bit panicky when I don't have a good DD dinner plan. The feelings are starting to fade just by typing them out.
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Old 06-06-2014, 12:49 PM   #207
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The feelings are starting to fade just by typing them out.
The miracle of journaling...
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Old 06-06-2014, 10:46 PM   #208
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This has been a tougher DD for me, and I think I may have realized why. It could be PMS. I don't know for sure. I'm at almost 4 weeks, but my cycle is so wonky this past year or so (perimenopause?) that I never can tell anymore.

At any rate, I felt hungrier today, and I did eat a higher number of calories. Maybe 1000 or so. I had some roasted chicken for dinner and after I was done I actually felt hungrier. I sat with it for 15 minutes or so to see if the fullness hit, and it didn't. So I sat a little longer and tried to feel whether this was just wanting to eat. No, my stomach actually felt empty and hungry. So I had some deli turkey and a little cheddar cheese. About 15 minutes after that I felt satisfied and made it through the rest of the evening okay. I WANTED something more, but didn't really feel hungry, so I was able to ignore those thoughts.

Lesson, some days your body DOES need more fuel. Maybe it was a lower cal UD yesterday. Maybe it was PMS. Maybe the moon and stars were aligned just right. Whatever......I went with it and feel like it was a mostly successful day.
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Old 06-07-2014, 01:18 AM   #209
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Hi Carol, I am really enjoying reading about IE...I didn't realize thats what I have been doing on JUDDD also. I'm going to see if the library has a copy of the book. I'll start reading the forums here also.
Sounds really healthy this combo you got going.
Just being at peace is worth so much!
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Old 06-07-2014, 05:29 AM   #210
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This has been a tougher DD for me, and I think I may have realized why. It could be PMS. I don't know for sure. I'm at almost 4 weeks, but my cycle is so wonky this past year or so (perimenopause?) that I never can tell anymore.

At any rate, I felt hungrier today, and I did eat a higher number of calories. Maybe 1000 or so. I had some roasted chicken for dinner and after I was done I actually felt hungrier. I sat with it for 15 minutes or so to see if the fullness hit, and it didn't. So I sat a little longer and tried to feel whether this was just wanting to eat. No, my stomach actually felt empty and hungry. So I had some deli turkey and a little cheddar cheese. About 15 minutes after that I felt satisfied and made it through the rest of the evening okay. I WANTED something more, but didn't really feel hungry, so I was able to ignore those thoughts.

Lesson, some days your body DOES need more fuel. Maybe it was a lower cal UD yesterday. Maybe it was PMS. Maybe the moon and stars were aligned just right. Whatever......I went with it and feel like it was a mostly successful day.
Sounds like you did great.
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