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Old 05-02-2014, 02:15 PM   #31
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Dawn, I love the way your posts reflect a calm peacefulness. That's the way it sounds. Are you feeling that way? Isn't this more the way we've imagined it could be, kind of like being with my present husband after a bad first marriage. Like, "yes, this is how it's supposed to be!"
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Old 05-02-2014, 02:24 PM   #32
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Honestly, yes, but it feels too early to be making declarations of undying love. This is how I ate growing up and I lost that natural intuition. There's a part of me that feels like I'm coming home. There is still stress and that "void" and I can't say I'll never backslide, but I feel like THIS is how I'm meant to live, if only I can re-train my brain to go along with my stomach.

That's also a good analogy about the bad marriage/good marriage. I was in a bad marriage for several years. When it ended, I felt bad about myself, and it took a while to find "me" again. Now I'm in a wonderful marriage and it's also like "coming home." Like I'm where I was always supposed to be. I still mourn the mistakes in my first marriage (mine AND his--he wasn't ALL bad), but I'm able to mourn from a distance. It's not as painful. That's what I hope happens with my eating. I can regret what led me here, mourn the passing of the old way of eating, and hopefully just "come home."
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Old 05-02-2014, 02:35 PM   #33
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Often when I compare my two marriages I say it's like the difference between wearing stilletos and bedroom slippers. Comparing dieting and its obscessions with HDE is like that for me, too.
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Old 05-02-2014, 03:44 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeirasMom View Post
Honestly, yes, but it feels too early to be making declarations of undying love. This is how I ate growing up and I lost that natural intuition. There's a part of me that feels like I'm coming home. There is still stress and that "void" and I can't say I'll never backslide, but I feel like THIS is how I'm meant to live, if only I can re-train my brain to go along with my stomach.

That's also a good analogy about the bad marriage/good marriage. I was in a bad marriage for several years. When it ended, I felt bad about myself, and it took a while to find "me" again. Now I'm in a wonderful marriage and it's also like "coming home." Like I'm where I was always supposed to be. I still mourn the mistakes in my first marriage (mine AND his--he wasn't ALL bad), but I'm able to mourn from a distance. It's not as painful. That's what I hope happens with my eating. I can regret what led me here, mourn the passing of the old way of eating, and hopefully just "come home."
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Old 05-03-2014, 06:17 AM   #35
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I ended up getting quite hungry at Keira's game. I had a Quest bar and a G2 at 5:30 p.m., and that had me very satisfied. We came home after the game, and had dinner at about 8:00 p.m. I was slightly hungry, so I had some split pea soup and a cocktail. Then I had 2 small chocolates from the leftover Easter candy. I didn't NEED them, but I WANTED them, and they served their purpose. I entered everything in my tracker and realized I came in at 1450 calories and 78 grams of protein. Still above BMR and below TDEE.

How is it possible that I'm eating what I want, and allowing myself to eat anything and everything, and I'm still staying within my maintenance range? It's exciting!

My weight was elevated when I started, due to 2 free days last weekend (free days being binge days!), but here's the progression since then.

4/28 - 152.2 (big bounce after free days)
4/29 - 150.6 - normal TDEE eating
4/30 - 150.2 - normal TDEE eating, but IE from dinner on
5/01 - 149.2 - HDE/IE
5/02 - 147.4
5/03 - 147.0

145 - 148 is my normal "range," though I've seen as low as 142. I'm happy to be back in my range.

Today, I'm planning on having my bagel and cream cheese when my body tells me it's time. Thank goodness for weekends, when I don't have to worry about a schedule.

I'll be doing some shopping, a bit of cleaning, then Keira wants to go observe try outs for the travelling softball team. She doesn't want to try out this year, for which I'm thankful. It's $550.00 just for summer league. If she wanted to, I'd find a way to make it happen, but she says she wants one more season of "regular" softball under her belt before she tries out for the travel league. Then we have a date night and party tonight, so lots going on. Thankfully, food doesn't really seem to be foremost in my thoughts today - at least not right now. We shall see how it goes.
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Old 05-03-2014, 07:50 AM   #36
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You have really taken to this so smoothly, Dawn! I love hearing all your observations. I can totally relate to your comment about the last few bites of yogurt. I did exactly the same thing yesterday. And your comment about the hot dog not being quite enough and going back for just a bit of chili. So calm and thoughtful. I need to pay attention and learn from you. I ate my lunch yesterday (DD) and I felt not quite satisfied when I finished. And that stressed me out because I felt that it should have and that I should not eat any more. But then I did. Boy did I. Makes me think JUDDD and IE are NOT compatible after all. I have some thinking to do....

Enjoy your lovely Saturday and have a great time tonight!
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Old 05-03-2014, 09:25 AM   #37
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KeirasMom/Dawn:I used to drink a lot of G2s. I really need to test those at some point to see if they're a viable option for me or whether they make me stall or if I note that they make me feel good/bad. Good reminder for me, thanks! It's inspiring to see you using food for its intended purpose: fuel. I'd like to think I'm firmly heading in this direction as well.

LoCarbGal/Carol: Spinardi says that you have to make nothing "off limits," and you'll eventually naturally gravitate to the foods your body needs for health. I have foods, off the get-go, that definitely fit in my own personal "Won't do" category (allergies to msg, difficulties with gluten - and most carbs in general, diet sodas)... Then there are bunches in my "Shouldn't" list like: regular sodas, caffeine and cream cheese). The lists are evolving, but I was already beginning to avoid many of these things prior to beginning LC/JUDDD. On UDs, like yesterday, I craved a hb egg. Not the bags of leftover Easter candy or the Atkins PB cups still sitting on my kitchen table! A freaking hb egg with mustard. I guess some of the "list" work is to be done as you are doing HDE/IE, but a lot of my list work was done prior to engaging in HDE/IE, so will continue evolve from there.
As for JUDDDing and HDE/IE. I'm doing this, too. I realize it isn't in the spirit of what Spinardi thinks works, but instead of looking for JUDDD as a means to an end in and of itself, I look at it along the lines of fasting for health and detox (since I drink CO/broth alternating with herbal teas on my DDs). So I'm utilizing physical hunger cues a la HDE/IE as well as gauging satiety on my UDs. So far, it's working fairly well. Since I'm still in my infancy with weight loss and JUDDD as well as any concept of HDE/IE, I think it's all progress none-the-less. My "kryptonite" continues to be bagels and cream cheese, but they fit firmly into the "Shouldn't do" category because, seriously, they the combo makes me "kill me now" kind of bad, and is therefore fairly easy to consciously avoid.
Anyone have thoughts on this?
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Old 05-04-2014, 09:01 AM   #38
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Carol and MsKitty.

Last night was date night. I did really well all day. I ate when hungry and didn't eat when not hungry. I did get hungry at about 4:00 p.m, but knew we'd be going to dinner around 6:30 p.m, so I delayed eating then. I wanted to be good and hungry for my dinner.

We went to an expensive steak and seafood restaurant and I surprised myself. I probably had 10 bites more than I needed, but, honestly, that's progress compared to last week. I had one tiny piece of garlic bread because that's all I wanted. Half my dinner salad, just the shrimp out of my shrimp cocktail. I ate all my swordfish, all my asparagus, but hardly touched the rice pilaf. I knew I was eating more than I needed, but didn't end up stuffed and uncomfortable, so I'm still learning, but I think I did really well all things considered.

Then we went to "the party." Between 8:00 and 2:00, I had several whiskey/club sodas. When we got home, I raided the refrigerator, and had a leftover fried chicken wing and one bite of potato salad. I didn't need them, and knew I didn't need them, but I had them anyway. Again, not perfect, but better than last week.

It's all a learning process. Apparently, my resolve lessens the more cocktails I have. Um, duh! Down a pound today, but I'm sure I'm dehydrated. Also a smidge hung over.
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Old 05-04-2014, 09:44 AM   #39
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Sounds like you did great! And nobody ever said we don't get to indulge every once in awhile. After all, that's what a party is for, and the after drinking eating...well, that's just a given. It's not like you do that all the time. (The after-eating that is. You, like me, like to have a little to drink very often. And I really believe that's okay!)

So, how was the party? Did you have fun? Any comments about how hot you looked? Because from that pic you posted, you were smokin'!
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Old 05-04-2014, 10:26 AM   #40
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It's funny. A couple of women commented on my outfit or my looks (nice comments). One quite drunk woman I've never met before came up to me out of the blue and told me, "You're gorgeous!" I was pretty embarrassed, but then she grabbed my butt and I knew she was hammered. DH said there were guys checking me out. I'm oblivious to those things, so I'll take his word for it.
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Old 05-04-2014, 12:10 PM   #41
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Dawn, I am finding your experiment very interesting. I have a real problem with "needing" to feel overly full to be satisfied. I know JUDDD will work for me if I can get this feeling in check. I bought the How to Have Your Cake.... book this morning on my Kindle and will sit down with it this afternoon.

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Dawn, this is wonderful!
And it cracks me up.
Listening to ALL of us working at this pleasure and satisfaction thing with hunger (which is SUPPOSED to be completely natural) makes me think of a new sitcom in which we write to each other all day long saying things like:
At ten a.m. I felt a little cool, so I put a sweater on. At eleven, I was warm so I took it off. At 11:30 I was cool again. If this keeps up, it'll be inconvenient at work. At noon, my hands were chilly so I got my gloves from the car. At two, I saw that Barb had changed into a tank top. I can see that working for me if I get warm again this afternoon. Maybe I can get a tank top just like hers. This is hard. It's really hard to stay mindful of my temperature and of all the clothing choices I have. I don't know what happened. This was all so easy when we were kids.
Etc.
We should all star in this sitcom. We'd be naturals.
Bad jokes aside, I'm loving this. It is SO helpful doing it together.
This is so funny because it is so true.

I have a perfectly proportioned, thin 17 year old and he has always been attuned to his hunger signals. I can make his absolute favorite food in the world and he will leave three bites if he isn't hungry anymore. He used to sit back and "rest" (his word) during meals when he was little to check if he was still hungry before he ate anymore.
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Old 05-04-2014, 01:23 PM   #42
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Sounds like you had a fun evening and did great with your eating Dawn! Congratulations all around!
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Old 05-05-2014, 05:55 AM   #43
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Sunday's update:

I woke up really late for me (8:00 a.m.) and wasn't hungry. A bit dehydrated and hung over. I had coffee and water until I was suddenly ravenous about 11:30. I really wanted this awesome chicken tortilla soup I get from Fresh & Easy (they're all closing and I'm so sad!). I went and got some, ate it and felt great.

We then went to watch tryouts for the travelling softball team. Keira didn't want to try out, but wanted to watch to root on some of her team mates from her league. Anyway, DH bought me some chile picante cornnuts, which I love. I had 50 of them. I counted. That was about one good handful, and I was satisfied.

Dinner was steak, roasted brussel sprouts, baked sweet potato. I ate more than I have been, but it was my body telling me I needed it, because I did not get stuffed, just pleasantly satisfied. Then I really wanted chocolate. TOM is back--that's a whole other saga I won't go into right now. Ugh. Anyway, I went to the store and got some dark chocolate miniatures, and miniature Reese's PB cups and Kit-Kats.

I had ONE dark chocolate miniature, and ONE PB cup miniature. Just exactly what I wanted.

The day ended up at 1165 calories and 64 grams of protein. Right about where it should be after a more indulgent day.

This morning, I woke up hungry, most likely because of the lower calories yesterday. I'm getting ready to head out for my bagel and cream cheese, looking forward to it, but not feeling urgent about "needing" it.

I'm planning a Banh Mi for lunch. I usually eat the whole thing, but I'm planning to let me hunger guide me, and if I take half back to work with me, I'll probably finish it before Keira's softball game, then have a light dinner. Easy peasy.
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Old 05-05-2014, 09:31 AM   #44
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I didn't know the Fresh & Easy was closing. I've been in a few times, but there never was one that was really handy for me. What a bummer.

It will be interesting to see how much of the Banh Mi you will wind up wanting. I know what you mean about eating the whole thing. I mean you bought it, it's there, why not eat it, right? But if you don't really need it, or even really want it, it'll keep. How freeing!
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Old 05-05-2014, 10:58 AM   #45
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We have a F&E just a few blocks away and I love it. The one near my work has already closed.

I had my bagel at 6:15 this morning. It's now 11:00 and I'm starving, so I'm taking an early lunch. My banh mi may not stand a chance against this ravenous hunger. I'm also absolutely FREEZING, like I'm having a DD, and I'm not, so that's weird. I'm literally shivering at my desk, wearing jeans, boots, a sweater and a heavy jacket.
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Old 05-05-2014, 01:45 PM   #46
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Not a crumb left of my banh mi. I did, however, honor my hunger. 1/2 way through, I was still quite hungry. 3/4 of the way, still hungry, but less so. When I was about ready to lick the basket, I realized I was satisfied and put it back down.
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Old 05-06-2014, 05:52 AM   #47
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Yesterday, I ended up eating a bit more than usual, though nothing crazy. I had a Quest bar before Keira's game, then had 6 oz of rotisserie chicken and an apple for dinner, a cocktail and chocolate dipped coconut macaroon for dessert.

I came in at 1742 calories and 76 grams of protein and felt fine with that. I weighed this morning at 147.8, up more than a pound from yesterday. Now I'm having all kinds of diet talk running through my head and a desire to restrict. I'm working on squashing that.

Oddly, my stomach was growling when I got up, but I was trying to gauge my hunger and realized I wasn't hungry. Just growly. I'm having coffee right now and will see how the day goes.

Going to take some things with me to work today just in case I'm alone again. If I get a real lunch, I'll see what appeals to me then.
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Old 05-06-2014, 06:24 AM   #48
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Dawn, this happened to me, too, one day just about a week into HDE. I was still weighing every day and I went up 1.6 pounds one morning. It was followed by lots of diet talk. Reading back in my journal I found myself choosing "diet" foods for snacks and that kind of thing. I also wanted to have a DD, but I resisted.

I think if you have the chance to read Skinny Jeans you'll find it really helpful in quieting these thoughts because she actually says exactly what we're feeling. It helped me alot. It was also after this episode that I decide to put the scale aside for awhile. That calmed me down a lot. I didn't weigh for about 2 weeks. Now I can weigh every few days if I feel like it and it doesn't seem to have the same power over me, although one reason it doesn't bother me is that I'm liking the numbers.
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Old 05-06-2014, 09:03 AM   #49
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Yesterday, I ended up eating a bit more than usual, though nothing crazy. I had a Quest bar before Keira's game, then had 6 oz of rotisserie chicken and an apple for dinner, a cocktail and chocolate dipped coconut macaroon for dessert.

I came in at 1742 calories and 76 grams of protein and felt fine with that. I weighed this morning at 147.8, up more than a pound from yesterday. Now I'm having all kinds of diet talk running through my head and a desire to restrict. I'm working on squashing that.

Oddly, my stomach was growling when I got up, but I was trying to gauge my hunger and realized I wasn't hungry. Just growly. I'm having coffee right now and will see how the day goes.

Going to take some things with me to work today just in case I'm alone again. If I get a real lunch, I'll see what appeals to me then.
I have that phenomenon all the time--my stomach is growling and empty, but my mouth is not hungry yet. It's so easy to wait to eat then and I want it to be that way all the time! Usually, however, it seems to be the other way 'round.
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Old 05-06-2014, 11:34 AM   #50
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I was hungry yesterday and hungry again today. Must be Tom messing with me. I ended up with Greek yogurt/berries/ez-sweets and a large banana for breakfast. YUM!

I brought soup and rotisserie chicken for lunch, but my coworker is going to the Vietnamese place, so he's going to bring me back a Banh Mi! Double score, since that sounds better AND he's at work today, so LESS STRESS!

I think I've quelled the "diet" junk in my head for now. I'm still gravitating toward my lower calorie foods, but that's what I'm used to and I'm getting a good mix of low cal and normal foods. I'm eating more fruit, which I tend to stay away from because the calories are higher than vegetables.

CC, I'm toying with the idea of not weighing, but my fear is that when I DO finally weigh, it'll be on a day where the numbers are higher than they normally would be. With my luck, I'd get on the scale during a high fluctuation and freak myself out! I guess my self worth is still tied to the scale. UGH!
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Old 05-06-2014, 12:12 PM   #51
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Mine, too, that's why I only weigh now when I feel extra thin. So far I haven't been disappointed.

Something else that has helped is to look back at my records before I started this and the weight fluctuations I was tolerating. On JUDDD I was happy if I saw my goal weight (125) once a week, because I was going up and down at least 3 pounds every other day. It's been almost a month for me now and I've seen 125 or below every time I've weighed except the time I mentioned earlier.
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Old 05-06-2014, 04:38 PM   #52
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Just had an apple and 1/2 C full fat cottage cheese. I must have been hungry because it tasted like manna from the gods. Of course I spent the better part of the afternoon reviewing the dining options on the cruise we're taking next month. If that doesn't stoke one's appetite, I don't know what will!

Dinner will be in about 3 hours, so we'll see if I'm hungry for it.
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Old 05-06-2014, 06:18 PM   #53
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I'm glad the "diet chatter" is calming down for you. PMS/TOM is a whole other thing, and it will be interesting to see how that all factors in for those of us trying this eating who still have "it".
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Old 05-07-2014, 06:13 AM   #54
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Keira got to choose dinner last night, and (of course) she wanted Hometown Buffet. I was hungry, but did my best. 1st plate: approx. 2 oz steak, one pre-portioned pot roast thingy, and broccoli. I ate slowly and was almost satisfied by the end of the plate. The only thing left that interested me was carrot cake. I got a small slice, savored it, and was perfectly content the rest of the night. I'm calling it a huge win! Who is this person, who can go to a buffet, get one small plate of relatively healthy food, and ONE dessert? Last time we were there, a few weeks ago, I had two plates (one was a huge salad) and THREE desserts. That was on one of my free/binge days that I was never prone to before, and which really got me thinking about HDE/IE. So I stared down the beast and came out victorious!

Today, I woke up hungry, but nothing sounds good, so I'm waiting until something jumps out at me, or until the hunger is such that I just need to eat.
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Old 05-07-2014, 06:22 AM   #55
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Dawn, that is a huge victory!
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Old 05-07-2014, 06:23 AM   #56
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Originally Posted by KeirasMom View Post
Keira got to choose dinner last night, and (of course) she wanted Hometown Buffet. I was hungry, but did my best. 1st plate: approx. 2 oz steak, one pre-portioned pot roast thingy, and broccoli. I ate slowly and was almost satisfied by the end of the plate. The only thing left that interested me was carrot cake. I got a small slice, savored it, and was perfectly content the rest of the night. I'm calling it a huge win! Who is this person, who can go to a buffet, get one small plate of relatively healthy food, and ONE dessert? Last time we were there, a few weeks ago, I had two plates (one was a huge salad) and THREE desserts. That was on one of my free/binge days that I was never prone to before, and which really got me thinking about HDE/IE. So I stared down the beast and came out victorious!

Today, I woke up hungry, but nothing sounds good, so I'm waiting until something jumps out at me, or until the hunger is such that I just need to eat.
Dawn!!! How beautiful is this?!!?
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Old 05-07-2014, 07:35 AM   #57
Big Yapper!!!!
 
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So great to hear, Dawn! Success at the buffet. Sounds like a book title. Wanna volunteer to write that one? Savoring everything really is the key here, isn't it? I have always been so bad at that, but I'm beginning to enjoy it.
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Old 05-07-2014, 12:28 PM   #58
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
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Win! You're doing beautifully, Dawn. And YOU, not your calorie allotment, decided how much you would have. I think that is priceless.
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Old 05-07-2014, 11:02 PM   #59
Major LCF Poster!
 
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Dawn! Just subscribing & reading for now! You're doing great!!
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Old 05-08-2014, 05:44 AM   #60
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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No big news or revelations on eating from yesterday. I had a pretty relaxed day. I was hungry after Keira's last softball game, but couldn't decide what I wanted, so I went to the store and perused the frozen foods. I didn't know if I wanted Asian or lasagna, so I got 2 frozen dinners. I still didn't know which I wanted by the time I got home, but I was hungry, so I looked at the nutritional content and chose the option with more protein. I'm not considering that "diet talk" since I specifically didn't look at calories.

I also had 3 miniature chocolates and a great big cocktail.

I was surprised to see my calories for the day came in at 1501 with 69 grams of protein. Not bad considering I ate to hunger AND had treats.

I woke up hungry this morning and am looking forward to my favorite bagel place. If only they were open all hours. Delayed gratification isn't a bad thing, but I'm ready to eat NOW and they don't open for another 15 minutes.
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