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Old 04-18-2014, 04:57 AM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
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Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
Metamorphasis or Bust

I have been incorporating small changes since about January 2014.

I had weight loss surgery in 2010 and from 2012 had horrendous eating habits, drinking Coca Cola all day and eating way too much carb. Was really in bad place after my best friend died, got pregnant with Number 2, was struggling very much financially.. Was in a very dark and emotional place.

Anyway. In January I started weighing once a month. I feel that if I weigh more frequently I become obsessed. And I don't want my overall mood to rely on the number on the scale.

I also bout a 25 oz container and strive to drink 50oz of water while at work, which is drink, fill, drink and has been good. I also started making myself take my vitamin supplements again. I signed my son up for the local track club so we can go walking and jogging together (and then this crazy cold came back.)

Last week I started buying bananas and this week I bought strawberries too. This may seem like nothing, but I'm hoping I can look back on it as the start of something beautiful.

I want this because of many reasons. I have a big butt and want to fit better into chairs. I want to wear beautiful clothes and beautiful clothes don't exist for plus size. Too few and far between, then it costs an arm and a leg.

I want to be invisible. I don't want to be a hot mom and I don't want to be my kids' embarrassing fat mom. I just want to exist.

I chose lowcarb because lowcarb is the sleeve eating plan. Plus when I was 22, I had amazing success with Atkins. Lost 80 pounds in three months living off diet sodas and bunless burgers. Counting calories and fad diets never worked for me.

January 323
February 325
March 322
April 317

My goal is to get under 300 right now.
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Old 04-18-2014, 05:04 AM   #2
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
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Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
I started the day off with a 6 carb salad of tuna, 1/2 cup bag salad and 2tbs wishbone italIan dressing.

I need to lookup other things I can do to cope with stress. I am stressing the loss of another friend right now. Ten years plus friendship and this person is no longer my friend. But she did it such a dramatic hurtful way. I turned to binges on chocolate, 1000 calorie binges. Not cool and I'm not proud of it. Tired of wearing my grief on my butt and stomach.
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Old 04-18-2014, 05:06 AM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
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Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
Another change I am trying to make is to menu plan. I suck at it so far. I bought menu planning for dummies and some cookbooks. But in honesty if I could afford it I would hire someone to cook for me.
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Old 04-21-2014, 07:16 PM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
Gallery: jerseygirl1981
Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
Today someone from work complimented my skin. I think it has a lot to do with my drinking more water. I strive for those fifty oz while at work everyday.

Have had Easter chocolate. Annoyed at the little control I seem to have around temptations.
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:08 AM   #5
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
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Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
May 1 2014

Another month has passed.

I am hoping May will be better. I don't quite know how to explain it and I haven't figured it out, but I don't think April was everything I wanted it to be. I have yet to truly start a strict induction, just keep trying to make changes.

This month was hard. I felt myself reaching for all the things I shouldn't have. The loss of my friend hit me hard. It was a huge betrayal and I acknowledge that I felt depressed and wanted to eat buckets of ice cream. I ate a lot more takeout than I should have. And I usd the cold weather as an excuse to not exercise.

A good thing I did do this month was start going to bed earlier. I am in bed by 1030 where I wasn't getting much sleep at all. Regardless of thesleep I'm getting, I still feel very tired.

I meant to weigh myself this morning but did not. I will have to do that later or in the morning.

I did start browsing through the cookbooks i ordered and see a few recipes i would like to try. I am very scared of screwing up in the kitchen and in this am having difficulty with planning our meals.

Am hoping May is better.
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Old 05-02-2014, 04:26 AM   #6
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
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Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
May 1 2014 Stats:

Weight: 316
B53 W50 H57

Perhaps all is not lost, as I see a little progress. Maybe I made a mountain where there was a molehill.
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Old 05-15-2014, 12:33 PM   #7
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
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Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
I think it has been about two weeks since I posted.

I want to talk about this objectively and not dwell on the negative in a negative maker. I already feel like **** and surprised myself by returning here.

My feet hurt. Even though I know it's my shoes, instead of getting better shoes I just let myself suffer in shoes that hurt to walk too long or too fast. I don't prioritize my need for good shoes. Much like I don't prioritize myself at all.

I have been having moments where I feel like my heart will come out of my chest and my heart pounds away in my chest and it scares me a little. I tries to rush into the office I work the other day and felt my body not responding to my brain's request, like my body can only move so fast and that isn't very fast at all. My left knee hurts and feels weird when I step.

when I sit on the couch my brain feels like a prisoner in my body. I feel myself scream for some action, some walking, some dancing, something!! But I feel tired and slump back on the couch.

I am not at my best. I weigh 40 more pounds than when I got pregnant, when I took care of my sleeve and myself and we were in honeymoon. I fear I will never lose Thi weight. I fear I will never figure out how to get back on track. I don't know what my blockage or my problem is.

I fee muddled. I feel everyone is good at this but me and like I am a failure.

I need to get out of this pity party with myself.
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Old 06-19-2014, 04:01 PM   #8
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
Gallery: jerseygirl1981
Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
June 18th 2014

I don't think that I will be able to post from my cellphone anymore. I posted twice about the same subject and it never showed.

Oh well.

So June 10th I decided to go back into induction. I am not entirely sure why I decided this. To be honest, I coincidentally ended up eating induction friendly all day and decided to just continue.

So I'm at the eighth day or so today, and I've lost 9 pounds. Am at 316. Am excited because my clothes fit better. Today for work I wore a pair of size 22 Lane Bryant pants I hadn't worn because they fit too tight, and now they just fit kind of snug.

I went through really bad sugar withdrawals but feel better today. Was sweating up a storm. Had bad headaches. Hands were shaking. But yeah, I feel a little better today.
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Old 07-21-2014, 01:18 PM   #9
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 14
Gallery: jerseygirl1981
Stats: 406/313/150
WOE: Atkins Induction
Start Date: January 1 2014
July 2014.

I am at 313 today. Was 310 a few days ago, but I decided to be silly and cheat. Coca Cola on Saturday, about a glass. And a Jr size soft serve ice cream on Sunday with sprinkles. Bah.

A lesson in cheating. Unfortunately, cheating leaves me feeling sluggish, crappy, tired, headachey, like a hangover. Carb hangover. Is cheating worth it? Absolutely not. Not this time anyway. I started feeling heartburn after the soda. And when I did the ice cream it just made my headache worse. Not to mention it didn't taste the same. Sigh.

However. I do feel smaller. I look smaller in pictures. It's most noticeable in my opinion that my waist has a little definition. Others say it's in my face. Either way, it's a nice feeling, like I'm back to losing like when I first had my sleeve. I can honestly say I felt proud that I wore a smaller swimsuit this year that did not fit when I tried it on last year. A handme down but looked like I bought it for me.

I joined a gym to see about getting my butt over to exercise. I just realized I lost 3 pounds since my last post. That is nice. It's what I get for looking up.

Grr to headaches.

Last edited by jerseygirl1981; 07-21-2014 at 01:23 PM..
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