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Old 04-10-2014, 03:38 PM   #61
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Hi Cheryl,
I really feel for you. Stress is the worst... especially anticipating stressful situations. I was hoping to hear you'd talked with her already, but guess not. I'm praying for you. God's grace poured out on you & your conversation & outcome.
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Old 04-10-2014, 04:41 PM   #62
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I'm praying Cheryl.
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Old 04-10-2014, 05:33 PM   #63
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God bless all of you for lifting me up in my dark time. I finally did hear from the boss about 20-30 minutes ago. It was as polite as mine was to her, so I guess I got what I wanted. Eating, so be patient with me.

She said she was taking me off the schedule the day after my "last day" and she said other things. Will write it all when I have 2 hands again. (Not as if you'll know any of this until I post this.)

First, I said:

"Dear Cathy, (Subject said, "With sadness,")

I regret to inform you that due to health-related issues I'm facing, I can no longer work at SMTRC. This has been an incredibly difficult decision on many levels but I believe this is the right decision for me at this time. I love working with the horses and will miss them very much so this isn't easy to write.

If I am allowed to, I would like very much to still help out as a volunteer on occasion. Strange as it sounds, I love cleaning the paddocks and grooming the horses and our little Ellen. And if permitted, I can help to free longe them or just take them for a walk in the field.

I still want to play a role here at the farm because I care deeply for it and all of the people and animals here. But my disability that prevents me from working as an RN is rising up again and only by stepping down will it improve.

My last day of work will be April 26, 2014.

Warm regards,

Cheryl B."

She said:

"Dear Cheryl, thank you for all you have done for SMTRC. I am sad to hear that you are not well and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. ((She always says that)). I know that you have put your heart into helping at SMTRC. I will take you off the schedule starting Sunday, April 27th. I hope that your health will improve and you will still be able to share many quiet hours with the horses.

For the horses,

Cathy"

If she means what she said at the end, I got exactly what I hoped for. Only the next two weeks will tell me what that actually means. I will work my shifts and hopefully pick up one or two to beef up my paychecks, but then I'm gliding on the updrafts and hoping to stay aloft. I know God is the wind beneath my wings. (I hate that song. It was already cliché when I was graduating nursing school and that was the end of 2003.)

I can't say that this was a terrible day. I will live to see another one.

Last edited by CherylB; 04-10-2014 at 05:40 PM..
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Old 04-10-2014, 07:07 PM   #64
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PTL! What an answer to prayer!
I'll continue to pray for your work situation & wait expectantly to see God open doors!
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:29 PM   #65
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I'm praying. I know it's hard. I think you did the right thing, and am glad the response email was cordial. Hope the next 2 weeks are uneventful!!
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:29 PM   #66
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Praying for you as well sweetie. I know it was a hard decision. God will carry through this storm .... Glad she was nice and polite back to you. Should be less stressful times ahead for you !
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:25 AM   #67
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What a relief she was nice to you. Let's pray she meant what she wrote and you can still volunteer when you want.
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Old 04-11-2014, 09:09 AM   #68
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Thanks, ladies. All her emails sound like that one. Very controlled and smooth and in lots of ways, phony. The way she signed it "for the horses" is a real hoot. She portrays herself as this saint. I am glad that she seems to be open to me volunteering still, but like Tammy said, "let's pray she meant it."

As far as getting another farm job, I think I won't look for one. I hate working out in all the CT elements. I've had enough of all that outdoorness for a while. I'm relieved to have avoided another season of sweating my @$$ off in the blazing sun while being eaten alive by flies, that seem unaffected by any known bug repellent.

Well, I don't have much to say at this time but I'll bbl. Have a great day and thanks for all your support and concern.
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Old 04-11-2014, 10:37 AM   #69
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glad it ended on an amicable note. There is always another adventure just around the corner so relax for now.
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Old 04-11-2014, 10:41 AM   #70
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glad it ended on an amicable note. There is always another adventure just around the corner so relax for now.
Yes, ma'am! I'll be doing that.
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:52 AM   #71
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Cheryl, this journal is inspiring me girl!!
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Old 04-11-2014, 08:06 PM   #72
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Cheryl, this journal is inspiring me girl!!
I haven't done anything yet! I wish I could get some of that inspiration. Thanks, Olive. Maybe I can catch up to you soon.
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Old 04-12-2014, 06:24 PM   #73
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Come over to the horse thread to hear about my day. Ain't got anything to add right now. Haven't eaten a thing today but drank wine. But now is the hour of our unleashing of the appetite. I can go all day long without food but I'm one of those "closet eaters." When nobody's looking, I can do a lot of damage.

Good news, though! I was talking to my landlady today when she was there at the house spreading mulch on the flowerbeds and she said she would pay me $150 if I rake the whole yard. Raking is what I DO! I said, "Hell yeah" and next week, that's what I'm doing. I have to do it fast or she'll be revving up to do the first mow of the season. She's hardcore.

Thank you Lord! My first paycheck off the farm payroll. You ROCK!!!
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Old 04-12-2014, 07:43 PM   #74
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Wow! $150 is good for raking the yard! So happy for you.
Glad you made it through your farm day. Hope you can figure out a way to keep cool for the remainder of your time there.
Hopefully when you are done at the farm you can be stress-free & make some progress on your WOE.
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Old 04-12-2014, 07:57 PM   #75
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Oh boy Cheryl, I understand that. I used to just wait patiently for everyone to go to bed so that I could quietly enjoy my entire carton of Ben and Jerry's ........ Almost every night! No wonder I weighed 300 pounds! But it sure was yummy!
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Old 04-12-2014, 08:49 PM   #76
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The countdown has begun ! For a PART time job, that was consuming your life I think.

Raking for $150 ?? Heck yeah !!

Sleep well girlie !
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Old 04-13-2014, 05:02 AM   #77
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Good going on the raking- with the rand/dollar exchange that would be R 1 500.00 in SA. Not bad going. That is what I get for running a Saturday workshop with teachers for four hours.
right now I am lying on my sofa while surfing the net with two kitties sunning themselves on my back! lol- loving it.
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Old 04-13-2014, 08:11 AM   #78
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Well, look at my cheering section! I was thrilled about the raking gig. She said that's what she pays someone each year to do it but I have been here 2 years, just going into my third, and I've never seen anyone raking. I will have to go and pick up sticks and branches first, do poop patrol, move lawn furniture as I go along and stuff like that. We must have an acre, or close to it. It's a good chunk of cash but I'm sure it will be a lot of work. And I'll be hoping for a cool, overcast day with little wind so the light stuff doesn't blow around as I'm raking and putting it into the wheelbarrow.

I've just put off two other things that are now staring me in the face. Tax day is looming and I love to ignore that fact. Don't know why I wait until the last minute year after year. Would be funny if I get a refund but I'm guessing not. Just hope I don't owe CT tax. I will be deeply screwed if I do.

Think I'll go work on finding the tax documents now so I can at least do the taxes. Bbl after work. Thanks for the love!
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Old 04-13-2014, 11:09 AM   #79
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Hope you have a cool day to do your raking job, or maybe a couple of them... mornings are probably best.
Also taxes... gotta bite the bullet girl! The peace you'll feel (when its done) is so worth it!
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Old 04-13-2014, 12:12 PM   #80
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Yayyyy!!!! $150 is great! Take your time and enjoy it. I use to love working in the yard. One of the things I miss doing. Oh well.

Sad news here. I lost a dear friend yesterday morning. It has just filled me with so much sadness. My heart is hurting. She has 6 kids from 20-8 yrs old and they'll be split up with family. I told my dh we'd take two if I thought the family wouldn't mind. I just don't know though. I swear I would. They're going to need lots of love. We were there at her parents house yesterday an then went to my mil's for a couple hours. What a long day.

Anyways, hope ur time at the farm is nice and easy going. Let the next two weeks go smoothly. Right?

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Old 04-14-2014, 08:38 AM   #81
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Oh Tammy! I'm so sorry. What happened? If you can share it, please do. I wish life wasn't so filled with tragedy. Last night after I got home from work, I texted my mother as I always do, to let her know I got home (she worries and I'm still "the baby of the family.") I asked if she was okay and she said, "Same as usual. No tragedies." I said, "Thank the Lord for no tragedies!"

Your love for her must be great if you want to take in a few of her kids. How awful that they will need to be split up. What a nightmare. UGH. I'm getting anxious thinking about it and I don't even know her. Please keep us posted on how things are going with that situation.

Deb, I just did my taxes and stuck them in the mail. I didn't owe anything and I'm even getting $30 back from the Feds. I made more money doing my taxes than I do working for the same amount of time. That's pitiful.

Raking: I'm hoping we get a day that is overcast and where the wind actually goes away. It's overcast and lovely enough that I finally opened up my windows for the first time, and the breeze (wind) feels great. But wind and raking light materials off the yard doesn't "fly". I'm not going to be bagging what I rake. It will go into a small wheelbarrow and get dumped in the woods behind the property. But if the wind picks back up after I'm done raking, I wonder if it will look just like it did before I raked. No problemo! I'll still get paid. Thank you, Lord!

I think just grabbing an odd job like that here and there can be enough to keep me going. Maybe I wouldn't have to go cellphone-less. I always try to figure things out in my head and I know it never works cause we don't know what the future holds, or even what the next hour will bring. Why can't I learn to live in the moment? I will see if I can practice that once I am "free" from working.

Working again today then off (I think) for four. They may ask me to work tomorrow pm but I'm kind of hoping they don't. It's going to pour and I think be windy again. Then it's supposed to rain Saturday and Sunday next weekend so it would blow if I had to work so many rainy days in my last two weeks. Then again, money is money. Better grab it while I can.

Tammy, may God comfort you and all of those who are grieving over the loss of your dear friend and may the children find loving homes with people they know and can trust that will allow them to see each other regularly. Amen.

(Any chance the 20 year old could take a few?)

Last edited by CherylB; 04-14-2014 at 08:42 AM..
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Old 04-14-2014, 11:05 AM   #82
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Good job getting taxes done !

Odd jobs really could add up for you and not tie you down ! Great idea !

Tay - hugs and prayers for you all. So sorry.....
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Old 04-14-2014, 12:09 PM   #83
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Thanks. My friend mixed drugs and it killed her. I forget what they were but it was a toxic combo. She was young and just didn't know. And no, the 20 yr old is not financially or "grown up" enough to care for children. Now we are trying to raise money for her funeral and burial. No life insurance!

Anyways, I'm ok. Just put Chloe down for her nap. Dh is working and dd is off work now and heading to the gym.

Went off the old "diet" and had pizza after coming home from my friends parents house and now my weight is up. WAYYYY up! Time to buckle down and stick to my good foods.

It's 75*, windy, and raining. Get this.....SNOW tomorrow!!! And record low temps and wind chills. I hope after this it's the end of seeing snow.

Have a good day! ��
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Old 04-14-2014, 06:51 PM   #84
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You got your taxes done & made $$ ! My US taxes are done now too, but have to mail them tomorrow. Whew! Always so nice to be done with all that, huh?

Happy raking!
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Old 04-14-2014, 07:40 PM   #85
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See, God always provides. A little odd job, extra income here and there, it'll all work out. hope your remaining time at work is pleasant and not frustrating or stressful.

Tay- so sorry for your loss! Such a tragedy so sad
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Old 04-14-2014, 08:40 PM   #86
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Oh, Tammy. I can't even imagine. And to have to worry about what you're eating and what you weigh on the scale? Hardly seems significant, does it. I hope you are given the strength that you need to get through this. And bravo for caring to stay on course with the weight loss plan through it all.

I'm pooped! Went to work, then home to get the dog and then to the fish and game for her to swim. Met up with the Secretary of the organization who had a line in the water, waiting for action. The full moon was rising and the reflection was wavering on the water. A bat was flitting around all around the moon and it was so cool. The crickets (or whatever they are) got louder as it got darker. Finally it got too chilly and the woman reeled in her line and left. Me and Cissy left soon after, but I walked through the dark trail with her, by the light of the moon. I didn't go far but I know the path and could see the rocks and tree roots.

She didn't swim much. I guess she only really cares about swimming when I'm chucking sticks out in the water. She was sniffing all around on the "beach" and we were sitting under one of those temporary garage canopy things. They had Derby Day on Saturday. Guess I should read the newsletters they send. I missed out on some fun, some great breakfast sandwiches and maybe a fish or two. They stock trout a few times a year.

I hardly ever get chilled but I really did. It's been freaking blustery all day and continues this evening. Storm moving through and wind will continue as the rain streams down. The boss asked me if I could pick up tomorrow pm. I said, "No, I have an appointment." I hope she gets stuck with doing the shift because she needs to see what it's like to load those stupid "nibble nets". Not for the dinner food, but for the night-check meal. Let her reap what she's sown. I'll pick up other shifts but tomorrow, she's on her own.

Monday's usually so peaceful. No volunteers, nobody around but me and the horses. Today was the polar opposite of that. A brand new, totally green volunteer (a young guy who turned out to be quite handy and had a great attitude) and some other chick that I never met who seemed to say, "I know" whenever I'd instruct her on how to do something. And she was saying, "The horses get grained at 5 o'clock." "Is it time to grain the horses?" Then when I told her to grain the mini's and the barn horses, she was looking confused. I said, "You were the one who wanted to grain the horses so badly, right?" "Yeah, but...."

The newest of the new barn staff people was there too. Riding or in other words, "Schooling." Great work if you can get it. But something funny happened and I would have loved to see how it played out. She rode into the field on Frodo's back and came back walking along side of him. I was watching her to see what she'd do next cause Frodo throws even the best riders and she got back on him in the arena. She looked very controlled so maybe he was just too jumpy, like she said. I asked her how he was and I believe what she said.

But it was chaotic. The farrier was there, to work on Cowboy's front hooves. He filed them down, took old shoes off and put new shoes on. He was talking with the program director who has said she and he don't see eye to eye on how to treat Cowboy's feet issues. I kind of listened off to the side of the barn when I stopped to grab a drink of cold water or load the hay cart. I wasn't obvious and it was interesting to hear the banter.

I told the farrier I quit. I don't know him all that well but we've met a few times and we've chatted about this or that. It just came up in conversation. He knew about the ex-manager quitting and moving out of the apartment but I told him that the newest hire quit because the program director thought we bullied him too much. I said, "I quit the next day." He said something about luck not happening around the farm and I said no, but I should have said "Luck's got nothing to do with it." He would have understood.

Well anyway, one down, a few more to go. I hope I don't have to orient and train more green volunteers. I will be so PISSED if they do that to me when all I'm trying to do is find some peace and enjoyment from my last two weeks. I know. I'll get that after I've left.

Then, they had a freaking Board Meeting and they never hold them on Mondays. They were all convened and "communing" when I was washing my hands and filling ice cube trays in the kitchen, and grabbing a carrot for the bunny that is now living in the office. I held up the carrot until the director noticed me and said, "Chester's all set."

She had put Cowboy out in the paddock behind the barn, after he ate his grain and got a good taste of his dinner hay. She didn't want him to stand around after getting his hoofs worked on. But he knew he was out there all alone and that everyone else was tucked in for the night. I went and groomed him in the paddock and then he walked off lead with me around the enclosure. It was very cool. But he wanted to go back in and I told him he'd have to wait. I went inside, wrote my "report" and went out to my car. He let out a loud whinny as if to say, "HEY! Are you forgetting someone???" I felt really bad. It was out of my hands and I just told him to hang tight.

Both cats were in the mood for love tonight! I couldn't believe it. They both let me pet them and as I was petting Martha (the one with the skin issues and very underweight,) I was thinking, "OMG. I hope I don't bring something contagious home to my dog and bunny." I was conscious of that when I went in to wash my hands and used that alcohol-based cleansing solution afterwards. Poor cat, but poor me and dog and bunny if it spreads to my family. I can't afford a vet visit for them. Not now, especially.

OMG. I'm tired but I can't stop typing. I was tempted to go through the drive through at McDonald's after the pond but I came home and waited it out. Then I decided to make hot dogs and sauerkraut with brown mustard and ate them cut up in a bowl. YUM. LC city. And I'm satisfied and didn't spend a dime on dinner.

Took out the trash and recyclables for pick up in the morning and I will hunker down here with my critters tomorrow when the sky opens up and the rain and wind are pouring down. Thank you, Lord.

Goodnight, ladies. I'm outahere.

Last edited by CherylB; 04-14-2014 at 08:44 PM..
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Old 04-14-2014, 10:27 PM   #87
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Night. It is morning here and the sun is so bright at 7am. One more barn visit- how time time flies. Enjoy!
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Old 04-15-2014, 07:31 AM   #88
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Hey! Just a quick drop by this morning. My son is coming home this weekend!! Dd and I are driving down to get him and he's flying back. We can't wait to see him again.

It's snowing here! It started as rain earlier and turned into snow about a half hour ago. I hope this is the last of the snow. Sheesh! Record low temps tomorrow too.

Well I have to get plane tickets and make a couple phone calls. Ttys!
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Old 04-15-2014, 10:04 AM   #89
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I have four more farm shifts, unless they ask me to pick up more. I said I couldn't do today and lied to her. So glad I did, too. What a hell of a day it is outside. It's going to change from rain to snow overnight and temps will fall to 28 degrees. I hope the boss has to do it. She is going to be going nuts trying to get everything done. Much of the extra work is from changes she's made.

That's great that Shawn is coming for a visit! How long can he stay? Great that he's going to be flying back. One round trip in the car is enough to last you for a while. Isn't this weather nuts?? I never thought we'd see snow again. I really thought we were done with that. I hope it just melts in the puddles of water when it hits the ground. Then again, those puddles will freeze. I'm so GLAD I'm off today. And I'm even happier that I said no to picking today up.

Stayed on plan again yesterday, for the most part. Had a few light beers. Ate the food I had in the house, all LC. Victory! Have a great day, everyone.

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Old 04-15-2014, 11:29 AM   #90
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Gallery: tay65
Stats: On 1/6 - 215.6; current - 208.3 / 1st goal - 199
WOE: Counting calories
Start Date: March 2014
Good going with foregoing mcdonalds! A few beers never hurt anyone. My friend lost weight drinking on the weekends. It took her a yr to lose 50 lbs. but she's kept it off for like 3 yrs now. She still drinks. So I know ppl can drink and lose weight. Just have to do some exercise. She worked out a lot.

Shawn has a 4 day weekend. I asked if he could stay longer than Monday but he hasn't answered me yet. I hate that. I'll ask a question and he never answers. Right in the middle of a conversation! He does it all the time. I know he's excited to come home even if it's cor a few days.

Well my mother invited herself for Easter dinner! Oh man! That means a major cleaning is going to happen tomorrow. Ugh! I wanted to go to church and. One home and cook a small dinner for us and relax. Now I have to cook a big meal and clean like a crazy person.

I'll bbl. have a good day!
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