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Old 04-08-2014, 09:10 AM   #181
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Sorry you are having anxiety You are still doing great on your WOE though. Try to relax and focus on something else. A nice long walk outside would probably do you a world of good.
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Old 04-08-2014, 12:24 PM   #182
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oh no! anxiety is horrible. I used to have panic attacks many years ago. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, I would get red in the face and felt like I was going to pass out or vomit. I did manage to get over it and I don't really know how. I had it through college so maybe I was stressed out at school since after I left college I was fine. Is work particilarly stressful? I hope you get rid of it.
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Old 04-09-2014, 05:00 AM   #183
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Thanks, ladies! Feeling a little better today. Wish, I have severe anxiety disorder/panic disorder. It runs in my family (mom, brother, cousins, aunts). I didn't have any issue with it until my sophomore year of college. Mine is caused by a brain chemical imbalance so most of the time it's not stress-related and doesn't even make sense! Very frustrating to live with. I take medication to correct it that has so far prevented panic attacks, but I still get a lot of anxiety from time to time.
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Old 04-10-2014, 05:00 AM   #184
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Today I'm at 224.8. Going to a baseball game with a work buddy tonight. I'm so not into sports, but going to live games is always fun. I don't know anything about baseball though. My husband loves it, so he's super jealous I'm going and not him.

Going to a wedding this weekend-- got a new dress for it and some jewelry. I'm excited! Can't wait to get this week wrapped up.
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:44 AM   #185
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enjoy the game, I am not a sports fan either.

I am happy to hear you are excited about a new dress, you must be feeling so much better. Enjoy the wedding!
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:53 AM   #186
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Yes, I'm feeling almost back to normal today! Thank you.
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:13 PM   #187
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Lauren....have fun at the game...I have to say we love sports here in our home...and we attend the at the stadium but I like it better at home....I can see it better and I don't have to jump up and down....Unless I really want too...\
I know you will enjoy you new dress for the wedding....fun to dress up ...so enjoy it...You will be pretty....

I have loss but I want post it till later...
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:06 AM   #188
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Thanks, Lady! My husband is a huge USC football fan. I've just never been into it! I was a band kid all through middle school, high school, and college. Once I got home from marching band after a big game and my college roommate asked me if we won, and I realized I had no idea because I hadn't been paying attention at all!

---

I'm at 223.8 today. I really haven't felt like posting lately! I don't know what gives. I think it's good that I keep making myself pop in though. I don't want to lose motivation and I think having support here really helps me stay focused and determined. I guess part of the issue is that even though I've lost about 30 pounds so far, there's still a niggling little voice in the back of mind saying "you're never going to be able to do this!" I've been fat my entire adult life and most of my teenage years as well. It's so hard for me to even imagine that I could ever be otherwise. I keep trying to tell myself that this should be about my health and how great I feel, and not so much about being "thin" or how many pounds I've dropped. Maybe I need to make myself a little reminder and tape it to my computer. I know if I keep doing what I'm doing, eventually I'll wake up one morning and I'll just be there! Can't wait.
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Old 04-11-2014, 08:53 AM   #189
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Hi Lauren! I can relate so well to what you're going through right now.... more than ever. I have the same thoughts running through my head all the time and I'm really trying to figure out why I'm so afraid of succeeding at this. I would be entirely thrilled for any of my kids, my husband or any of my friends to do this, so why can't I be happy for myself and allow myself this gift? Truest sense of my own worst enemy!

You are doing FABULOUS! Keep on going and keep posting here. I find that if I remain connected here that my attitude and mood stay lit and I keep wanting it. It drives me! *I* know you can do this, girl....Believe in YOU!
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Old 04-11-2014, 12:57 PM   #190
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Lauren, I can totally relate!

I have been overweight and obese for over 15 years and even though I wasn't fat when I was a teenager I thought I was fat and inadequate. A lot of my friends were too SKINNY! I had an athletic build. I never enjoyed my body and it is time that I change that. I now see the athletic build as a much more attractive build and I am striving for that. It may be that the love of my life is reminding me he thinks it is hot.

It is hard for me to imagine myself succeeding and being that person but I have come to the point that it is more about my health and I think that is why this may be what makes me change. I also have a new perspective on life, that every day is a gift and that my body and the health (such as it is) that I have is also a gift. So many people have so many more problems, people that I know and love. I want to change things for the better while I still can.

This community of like minded people is so inspiring and such a great support, I ask myself why I haven't tried this before.

You are doing great, stick with it and one day we will wake up being THAT person.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:55 PM   #191
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This is an great place to share for we know that everyone is wanting the same thing...to wake up and it is so wonderful...we did it...It is an inspiring place to come...for we can be uplifted or understanding for whatever happens to others...I know for me I was just short at 4 11 and alittle chunky but I played sports thur out school then I gained as the years have gone by little bit by little bit after marriage and having my sons...But I kept from going off to far....Now for the pass 5 years I gained 10lbs a year...and I am over 60 now so I really have a challenge going on....I am working with my walking tape...I love working on my projects but that makes me sit to much...and reading wellll that does take sitting a lot LOL..But my goal is to lose before we get in our pool this summer...(Hot here in the desert...)then I will enjoy my water exercises.....For now I will just cont...to pull weeds out of the front yard...they just want stay gone...LOL
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Our goal is to reach the finish line...some will run fast and some will run slow but we will all be the winners when we cross that line

Summer is my next goal
244 242 240 238 236 234 232 230 228 226 224 222 220 218 216 214 212 :heart 208 206 204 202 200 onederland
Mary Frances Goal...to find that Onederland and never to return...

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Old 04-11-2014, 02:57 PM   #192
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Hang in there, Lauren! You're doing great, you really are.

I think most of us are familiar with that same nagging voice, I've dealt with it my entire adult life as well, but you know what? You can do this, because you are doing this!!! Making peace with ourselves seems to be the hardest part of the journey, food is just a consequence.

One day at a time!
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Old 04-11-2014, 05:58 PM   #193
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Lauren, hang in there. Your journal is my favorite.

I was in your shoes back in May 2011. I had lost 33 lbs and I just felt overwhelmed by the 100lbs+ that I still had to lose. So I gave in and put it back on and then some. It's easy to say "hang in there" but I know how hard it is to start all over again after a big weight gain. So I'm saying "hang in there, the alternative is crappy"
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Old 04-13-2014, 07:46 AM   #194
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Danielle-- Thank you! I really wish I knew what it was that made me doubt myself so much. Especially when I can clearly see that it's working! I'm definitely going to stick around, I think the only reason I've made it as far as I have is because of the support here. It really makes a huge difference!

Wish-- Thanks! You are SO right! I need to think positive, positive, positive.

Lady-- You're doing so great and I admire your attitude! We got this!!

Bren-- Thank you! I totally agree. Feeling much more positive today. All of this support certainly helps!

BecBelle-- Aww, thank you! That's great advice, and I'm going to do my very best to take it!

---

Yesterday I saw 221.4!! Today I'm at 222.8, but I was expecting a little bit of a jump up as that seems to be the norm for me after a new low. We went to our friends' wedding yesterday and it was so fun! I even managed to stay on plan at the reception, which I was super proud of. I did have one bite of my husband's slice of wedding cake just to taste it, but I think that's perfectly fine. I felt so pretty in my dress and got lots of compliments!

We took some pics before we left our place, so I have some to share!

ussmall.jpg mesmall.jpg
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Old 04-13-2014, 10:14 AM   #195
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I think we are just so incredibly hard on ourselves. As women we're taught early on thru so many influences that we have to be perfect in order to be considered beautiful, popular, liked, and so on... so then, we turn on ourselves.

The important thing is that you're learning to break that cycle, learning to love yourself, and figuring out that you ARE worthy, and you CAN do this. You're worth every step!

You look so pretty! I love that color, it's one of my favorites. I'm so happy that you stayed on track and still had a wonderful time!!
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Old 04-13-2014, 07:09 PM   #196
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Lauren, I love the new avatar and that teal dress looks wonderful on you!!!!
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Old 04-13-2014, 07:54 PM   #197
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Me too!..love the avatar and teal dress!! Good job staying on plan.
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Old 04-14-2014, 05:43 AM   #198
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Danielle-- Yes, I think you're right. Now to just convince my subconscious of it too! I really need to work on breaking the habit of thinking mean thoughts about myself. Thanks!

BecBelle-- Thank you!! I'm not very makeup savvy, so I like to watch youtube tutorials (which is what I did for the wedding). If I'm going to spend that much time on makeup, there's got to be some photographic evidence! Lol!

Wish-- Thanks, chica!

---

Today I'm still at 222.8! Really intentionally forcing myself to stay positive today. Hopefully it will be a habit I can form. I think I'd be a happier person if I could do that! I'm generally pretty happy anyway, but maybe this way I could cut back on at least some of the down days. We thoroughly enjoyed the nice, sunny weekend we were blessed with. Supposed to rain today, so we'll see if the nice warm weather we've been having sticks this time. It's plenty warm this AM! Doesn't help that the a/c at work seems to be not working.
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Old 04-14-2014, 10:40 AM   #199
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A beautiful picture Lauren....You look so pretty...and you had fun too...
Your new picture is cute...see those pounds fallen off...You are doing it girl..

Danielle...I agree with ..... women must learn to love themselves...then we see how beautiful we are inside and out...
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Old 04-14-2014, 12:38 PM   #200
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I am jealous of your nice weather! We still have a bit of snow outside, it is muddy, gravelly, no green at all yet... I am waiting for some semi warm weather I could go running in, maybe tomorrow... oops, no, wait, I just checked the forcast and it is supposed to be cold, windy and SNOWING!! UGH

No summer dresses for me yet! I shouldn't put away the winter coat!
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Old 04-14-2014, 01:07 PM   #201
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Bubbly - You are so beautiful! Shedding that excess weight is really letting the you SHINE! Teal looks marvelous on you. Just thought I'd check in cause I couldn't believe how much transformation you had in your before/after photos in another thread. You inspire me!
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Old 04-15-2014, 05:28 AM   #202
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Lady-- Thank you! You are so sweet.

Wish-- Ugh, I'm sorry! I am not built for snow, LOL. I am from Florida originally so I barely survive the relatively mild winters here in the foothills in SC.

Partyof7-- Thank you very much! I'm just chugging right along, haha. I don't feel like I'm making much progress, but when I take my monthly progress pic I am always pleasantly surprised.

---

Today I'm at 222.8 for the third day in a row! Okay then. I guess my body likes it here, haha. I'm so close to kicking the 220s I can taste it! I can hardly believe I might be in the 2-teens soon. I am so proud of myself for the changes I've made to my lifestyle and for really sticking with them. I've never been this dedicated to my health before, and it's a very liberating feeling. I feel like I'm finally in control! I'm wanting to add in some form of exercise soon, but I haven't decided what. I might get a workout dvd or join a class or something. I'd really love to learn martial arts or something, but I don't know how feasible that is at 26!
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Old 04-15-2014, 11:43 AM   #203
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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You look fantastic in your new pics!!! I'm sure your body is just getting ready for a nice drop. I believe that's just how it works. Our fat cells fill up with water and hold onto it with a tight grip. Then it finally gives up and releases all the water and the fat cell shrinks. And VOILA - you get your whooshie!!! So don't think you aren't actually losing, your body is just waiting to release the water.
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Old 04-16-2014, 04:51 AM   #204
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Thanks, Gracie! I sure hope you're right! I'd love a little whooshie, haha!

---

Weighed in today at 222.4, feeling a little ill. There's been a stomach bug going around the office and it hit me on my drive home last night. Obviously the most convenient time to be stricken with sudden nausea is during rush hour downtown. Luckily for me I still had some anti nausea pills lying around from the last time I was sick, so I took one of those and went to bed really early. Feeling much better today, but still a teeny bit queasy. Just hope nobody brings fish for lunch today or it'll all be over.
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Old 04-17-2014, 05:16 AM   #205
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Good morning, lovelies! Feeling much better today. Weighed in this AM back at 221.4. Sooo close to a new "decade." Woohoo! Hopefully I'll be there soon. I'm off tomorrow for Good Friday so I'm pretty excited to have a nice long weekend. Nothing special planned as of yet. We'll probably have dinner with my in-laws for Easter. Might go see the new Captain America movie tonight, we've been dying to see it!
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Old 04-19-2014, 12:04 PM   #206
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I love the teal dress
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Old 04-20-2014, 07:31 AM   #207
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Happy Easter to all Quiet here on the homefront...
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Old 04-22-2014, 05:23 AM   #208
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Thank you, Frogg!

Hope you had a nice Easter, Lady!

---

This morning marks FOUR MONTHS of eating low carb! Scale is up today (223.4), but for the month I'm down four pounds, and I'm okay with that! We went on an impromptu weekend trip to Helen, GA. Super fun! I stayed on plan but I drank much less water than usual, so that's probably why I'm up. I guess! Who knows. I'm just along for the ride, lol! Going to take my monthly progress pic when I get home tonight.
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Old 04-22-2014, 05:34 AM   #209
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Good morning, Lauren. You're doing just great! Congrats on a successful 4 months of your journey...here's to fabulous things ahead~~~
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Old 04-22-2014, 06:17 AM   #210
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Great job staying on plan for 4 months!!! I'm doing low-carb now too. I've been considering another hcg round but for now I need to eat Can't wait to see your new pic!
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