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Old 12-29-2013, 07:43 AM   #181
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Planning a visit with the family doctor is best. Use him as much to your advantage as you can on that visit. Vent. Let it out. He can be your prescriber, your mentor, your friend, your therapist, everything. It's what they are good at. And, it never hurts to just let it out. Even if he can't take the reins in your life, venting always makes things seem more in perspective.

Maybe you should take it easy and restart for the new year? Take a few days to recoup and refocus. Wednesday will come soon enough. New year, new you. Right now, with the cold and all of the stress, maybe it's just time to focus on other things. Like getting better. If you restart wed, restart with an induction sort of plan, and you will see instant results! Everybody needs a rest from real life sometimes. You could come visit me here in Ohio, if you can stand the cold. I would give you a few days of relaxation Go for a pedicure, have lunch out, go see a movie, go bowling, go roller skating, go swimming...go do something for you. Something fun. After all of the stress you have been dealing with, you need a reward day.

I hope the new year brings less stress and more perspective for you. I think of you often.
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Old 12-30-2013, 06:49 AM   #182
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You are so sweet Lisa thank you for the invitation... Ya never know, I might take you up on it!

203.4 this morning and I'm not surprised. I am so incredibly sick with this head cold, it's prob all snot in my sinuses. I've been trying to medicate with zincam melt aways, Motrin and mucinex d. A lot of broth that I made last night (sodium) so I'm bloated this morning. I did the whole, hot bath, warm fire, clean sheets and hot broth right before bed, along with a benedryl to get at least a little sleep.

Tonight is going to be slow at work but tomorrow night is going to be chaos and I really need to feel better before then. I called the dr and he's out of state until the 5th of January bleh! Today is a DD for me and I don't know if I can stick with it because I already feel so crappy, broth, coffee and a bottle of water so far. We shall see.

The good news is, my new mattress is being ordered today! Can't wait to get it, I feel like we've been sleeping on rocks for almost a year now. I've had visions of tossing the current one out into the yard and setting it on fire.

Been thinking about the new year and my weight loss plan for a real restart. LC of course, and I haven't seen any real loss with adding JUDDD. I'm still in the 203 range where I've been since September. I know the slips and cheats and alcohol will have to go to get any real progress. So it's not the plans themselves. It's those things. A plan will only work if it's actually followed. Right? Right.

On the flip side, when and if I ever do get to goal, I've now had 3 months practice at maintaining lol.

Time to get moving, a lot to do today before work tonight and hell day in the bar industry tomorrow night. Ugh.
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Old 12-31-2013, 05:47 AM   #183
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12/1 201.4
12/2 200.4
12/3 202.3
12/4 200.4
12/5 205.0
12/6 201.2
12/7 201.0
12/8 199.2
12/9 202.3
12/10 200.4
12/11 200.4
12/12 200.2
12/13 202.3
12/14 199.8
12/15 198.2
12/16 198.8
12/17 199.6
12/18 199.8
12/19 200.2
12/20 201.8
12/21 200.8
12/22 204.0
12/23 203.0
12/24 206.4.
12/25 204.3
12/26 204.3
12/27 201.4
12/28 203.4
12/29 202.3
12/30 203.4
12/31 202.3

And that's that. So glad this month and year is over, sheesh.
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Old 12-31-2013, 06:25 AM   #184
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And so it begins,,, my day of total head cold has arrived, just when I didn't need it to peak. If I can make it thru the next 18 or so hours I am going to collapse on weds or check into the ER.

I did manage to stay LC yday which hasn't happened in awhile without a cheat or some type of slip. Likely too high in calories, but all LC. So there's a tiny step in the right direction.

I had homemade chicken salad for lunch, which I love... Passed on Burger King with the fiancé and came home instead to eat. That actually was a pretty big marker for me. Packed salami and cheddar, broth and a small romaine salad with ranch for my dinner and only ended up having the meat and cheese, then the broth before bed (about midnight) I abstained from the cashews at work, and get this.... For like the first time in forever.. I actually considered a dr pepper? Ya. I forced the cooler door shut and asked myself Susan seriously? Where does that thinking come from?

So my niece msged me on FB yday out of the blue, this was one of the folks that last oct had listened to me talking about LC. She said she's trying to pick a plan! the seeds I planted back then are growing. I like that. Now if I could just be a better example.. And I will. My daughter also last week decided to go gluten free. So hopefully she sticks to that. She's at 230 and has a goiter/un diagnosed thyroid problem. No $ for dr or ultrasound etc. but she's working 2 jobs now and saving up to get to an endo

I've gotta get moving... Happy New Years
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:51 AM   #185
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:05 AM   #186
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Been a day or so since I've updated my journal.

I'm still sick, a lot of head cold and cough, but I am mucking through somehow.
Been working a lot and trying to get through the last weekend of deer season here on the ranch.

202.4 yday and today, I also am actually having a real tom as well I think. Hard to judge it when I've been slightly bleeding everyday since august. But went without for a few days, then started today. Been staying LC and not sure if I will see ketosis without completely dropping the alcohol. I'm out of sweetn low. Soooo.. I am giving truvia a try this morning. A friend gave me some awhile back and I stuck them in my purse. So, next cup of coffee with be with that. I think today if I have time I am gonna browse Netrition site and see what I may want to order. Never ordered from them before.

I've been waffling back and forth about JUDDD. I am going to, or should I say have been trying to do it without much success. I attribute some of the cheats I had in December to my thinking that as long as I came in under my calorie count on up days I could have carbs. I found out that it sets me off on binges. I do think the plan works for those that can stick to LC and to JUDDD at the same time. Not sure yet if I am that person. So many factors in December mucked things up.

So here we sit, new month, no holiday emotional triggers that I can see coming. Gonna be pretty routine I think, so going to see how many clean down days I can get in before I toss JUDDD by the way side. Giving it an honest chance to work.

Also, now that the depo is wearing off I can tell when I'm actually Pms and will be able to deal with that accordingly. However. Eek. I need birth control pronto.

Second cup... With truvia... It's super sweet. Doable. No weird after taste like I've heard stevia has. I've been sticking to sweetn low for so long this is going to be an interesting change.

Ok... Off n running, cows to feed and Christmas decorations to take down. Laundry to do before work tonight.
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Old 01-05-2014, 01:23 PM   #187
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For the record, I measured my 3 problem areas today

Upper arm (left) a staggering 16 inches
Hips 47
Above navel 42

Man I got a long way to go
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Old 01-05-2014, 01:28 PM   #188
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Good to see you back, Susan. I agree, with the holidays over, it's much easier to focus on weight loss and eating. I'm glad you're going to keep trying JUDDD for a little longer before deciding. I know it's not for everyone, but it has been such a lifechanger for me, I want everyone to really see if they can benefit. I hope you can!

I'm off alcohol for 2 weeks, as well as all sugar and grain, and most carbs. Just want a clean start and get all those carby cravings outta here, you know? It's kind of hard, because I do enjoy my vodka gimlets almost every UD. But I really want to get things moving again in the loss department. So I'm with you there.

Good luck! This can be a really great January!
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Old 01-05-2014, 03:29 PM   #189
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I was beginning to wonder where you were hiding at
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Old 01-08-2014, 05:33 AM   #190
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I've been around Lisa lol, just crazy n busy mostly.

So yday... Very stressed day and I ate off plan. Firstly, I got too hungry, didn't plan, and had a screw it attitude. Fortunately half way thru the bacon cheese burger and tater tots I got a phone call that forced me to set it aside, it got ice cold and I tossed the remains in the trash.

Too many of these types of days are happening. I have got to get back in control of my eating or I will gain. I feel like I've been given a hall pass that has now expired because I haven't gained already, I haven't lost either. But at least I haven't gained. The corner could turn either way, and I am the only one that can steer it in the right direction.

That being said (whew, glad that omission is done) it's early and I have a full day planned at work and here on the ranch, so this morning I am trying to decide if it's gonna be an UD or DD. And if it's an UD what can I pack to get me thru LC. I think I could do a DD successfully if I didn't have to work tonight, 6-12. That's gonna be my hungry time. I guess I will see when I come home before going back to work where I stand. I am going to try to get thru til then as a DD.

Off I go..
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Old 01-08-2014, 06:20 AM   #191
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Well that was short lived. Fiancé cooked bacon and had it with mayo on romaine when I got out of the shower. Love that man. He doesn't realize what I had planned and was trying to help me get gone for the morning. Sigh.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:18 AM   #192
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What a lovely guy! No problem - so today is just gonna be a LC UD. And by the way, that breakfast sounds delicious! Right up my alley. I'll be right over!
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Old 01-09-2014, 03:34 AM   #193
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Oh, he does sound sweet. And bacon on romaine with mayo sounds so delicious. Why did I never think of that? Sounds like something that's going to appear on my menu soon. Have a good one, Susan. Happy trails! (that's my idea of a Texas joke...teeheehee)
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Old 01-12-2014, 07:50 AM   #194
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Morning world.

Waiting for my coffee to brew. Slept ok but am still so snotty and congested that it took forever and NyQuil to get to sleep. I think I may just stay the day on the sofa. I have to work tonight and I am really looking fwd to tomorrow off.

I need to cook food today, to be a little better prepared for this next week than I was this last week. But will see how I feel as the morning progresses. I've been meaning to cook marias cream of mushroom soup and honestly have not had time. My mushrooms are going to go bad if I don't do it today. I hate being wasteful like that.

199.8 this morning, pretty decent LC DD day until last night when I had to eat something and was at work, pizza toppings

Oh well, try again today. I guess that's all I can do is try everyday.

Have a full week ahead, Tuesday my son has his eval with mhmr, then weds is d day with the bars tabc hearing. Also have a big initial dr appt on weds, full blood work etc. Thursday I have appt to get my hair colored. All while working all week and we have cattle coming on Friday here at home.

The mhmr thing for my son may be a turning point, they are going to address the depression and the ADHD. The tabc hearing may be a game changer for me also. We could lose our permit to sell liquor and thus would close down. If that happens... Poof. I am unemployed and will have to re evaluate my immediate future. Sounds like an easy answer to a job I hate and have been wanting to quit anyways, but I will feel like I failed as a manager.

I've got a lot to talk to this dr about. He's not a women's well care dr so I am unsure if he can help me out with the bc I need. But I'm gonna ask.
I have been writing down things I want to go over with him. And I told the nurse when I made the appt to schedule me at least an hour. On my list is....
This cold I can't shake of course
Night sweats and pre menopausal ?
The boils I still am getting every now and then.
Sleeping.
Ringing in my ears that I've had since august.
The incredible grief I am still having since mom passed.
A knot I've had under the skin on my left thigh for awhile now. It doesn't change, but it's weird and I wanna know what it might be.
I want a full thyroid panel done also when he orders blood work. Also I want to know my vitamin levels, d3 and such.

So I know I won't get all my answers in this first appt, there will be lab orders that I'll have to go do off location. And then follow up after the labs. But it's a start, and as a self pay.. A bit spendy. So... Let's hope the job thing lasts awhile longer.

I am a little hesitant to discuss my drinking with him though. But I know I'm gonna have to in order to get good results. I just don't need anyone judging me. So I'll try to be honest about it.
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Old 01-13-2014, 08:06 AM   #195
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199.2 this morning... Maybe it sticks.

I'd like to give credit to JUDDD however, I haven't had a decent dd yet. Just haven't been cheating in terms of higher carbs. I had gotten so derailed with higher carb cheats that this was a process for me to just not cheat. So... Baby steps. Now that I feel I am in control of my cheating again.. I can try to incorporate JUDDD in.

Honestly I don't feel it's either JUDDD or LC.. I think it's due to having a first real period since august and the depo shot having run it's course.

Headed to work, will check in later
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Old 01-13-2014, 08:20 PM   #196
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How did the doctor appointment go?
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:21 AM   #197
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Morning....

Dr appt is tomorrow, so really kinda excited about it. Dallas's appt with mhmr is today at 1. Tomorrow is tabc hearing, dr appt and work at 6.

195.8 this morning on my scale, I weighed 4 diff times to be sure. Even moved my scale around the bathroom to make sure.

What. The. Hell?

I'm not dehydrated, and I ate pretty LC normal yday, even had cocktails last night. So... Attribute this whoosh to LC, a sub 600 cal DD and the depo worn off, normal period over on Sunday?
I guess I'll never know why. I'll of course take it lol, and be happy with it. But.. Weird.

I did get a lot done yday, cleaned out my moms storage. Was hard going thru her things. But, glad I took the plunge and just did it.

The weather has been so spectacular here since the big freeze we had. That it really lends to getting outside and doing stuff. I know it won't last, but I'm enjoying it anyways.
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Old 01-14-2014, 08:37 AM   #198
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Wow Susan! That is a great loss, and must be so exciting to see! I'm sure that will provide some further motivation to really focus on your eating. WTG girl!
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:55 AM   #199
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Congrats on breaking the plateau
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Old 01-14-2014, 05:16 PM   #200
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Thanks y'all! Maybe I can keep the losses coming, I did ok today, didn't eat til three, then had a small ribeye and salad with cheese, 2 bacon wrapped shrimp. Gonna stop there for the day and see what the morning brings.

My son Dallas appt today went ok, a little unexpected diagnosis. They won't/don't address the ADD so that will be thru a diff dr. And they diagnosed him with acute chronic depression, sleep disorder, and eating disorder that they will be addressing with a intensive care coordinator. Starting him on Prozac and trazadone for the sleep. Not sure how I feel about those meds. So going to do some reading tonight.

The eating disorder I guess shouldn't have surprised me, he's always been a closet eater, binge eater. He weighed 277 today I am going to approach him about LC for all the things diagnosed today, not just the eating disorder.

Sigh. My kid is a mess.
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Old 01-15-2014, 03:53 AM   #201
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So sorry to hear about your son, Susan. The issues he is dealing with can be so intertwined, can't they? Sleep disorders can cause depression as can eating disorders and depression can affect both sleep patterns and eating issues. I so hope things will get straightened out. How old is your son?

Good luck with your doctor's appointment today. I went to my doc yesterday in the hope of addressing my own thyroid issues. I've never had so many vials of blood drawn at one sitting but I'm really glad she is checking my vitamin levels as well as thyroid. It is so wonderful that you can schedule an hour with your doctor. At my practice it is pretty much in and out in 20 minutes.
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Old 01-15-2014, 05:14 AM   #202
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You are a great mom. The first step to fixing the issues is finding out what the problems are. If he is living with you now, and you cook and eat lc, he will automatically see some benefits of it. Good luck with teh dr. today!!
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:14 AM   #203
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Morning,

197 this morning so... Yday wasn't a complete loss. It's ok though. Y'all settle in if your still reading, this is a long one. Lol.

Stayed up way too late Tuesday night with the fiancé, so yday morning was a rushed blur. Didn't have time for coffee even so by 10 when sitting in the TABC hearing downtown Austin 45 miles of morning rush hour traffic later.. I was ravenous. I can really tell when I mss my coffee with hwc and coconut oil. The outcome of the hearing is still undecided. It was heard by a state administrative judge that will give recommendation to TABC about revoking our conduct surety bond and permit because of prior violations (5 in one years time, is 2 too many).
All of this being based on the violations by the owner last May when he got into a altercation with his then gf and the law got called, he got loud and tossed in jail. Nice huh? My job, and many others, a business I've rebuilt, a community of ppls entertainment being at risk because he can't keep his temper in check. Lovely. Creep. No wonder he's single. So we won't get the determination for 60 days, we can continue to operate. That leaves me either hiring someone else or working a lot of hours until we know. I hate to hire someone else knowing we still may not have a business later.

Went to lunch with him and my lead bartender after to discuss it all. At a little off plan by having a corn tortilla enchilada. I was starving.

Rush back to work (hour drive back) do banking, get a letter from the state comptrollers office that we are being audited. FREAKIN FABULOUS. finally get to my dr appt on time at2pm. Phone blowing up all the while from all points.

At the dr. I get into the waiting room with one of my moms old most annoying friends (trapped) and I'm positive that my eyes were glazing over by the 4th time she told me about her shingles and my reliving the death of my mom to her. I was never so glad in my life to be called to the back. Sometimes I just don't wanna talk about it. I don't think that's a lot to ask. Small towns suck.

202 with lunch and clothes on their scale was a little annoying.
Got orders for labs, including vit d3, discussed my cold, got a script for that including antibiotics that he hopes will help my skin issues too. But wants me to stop in whenever I get another yukko one to get a culture of it later. I like that, because I've never known what these boils actually ARE. He listened to my entire list and said.. Keep LC. He's really glad for my woe. But my BP was 155/99. So... To let's get the upper respitory and ear infections under control and then work on that. And that no wonder my ears were ringing. And that even with further weightloss I may not be able to control my BP because of my dads BP problem. He's also my dad's dr and was my mothers dr. He's the dr that came to the ranch and signed my moms death cert. so he knows my family history.

He said I'm not throwing a big bunch of pills at you for the depression and grief and sleeping just yet. He said let's work on getting the infections gone and then go from there. I really liked that part. He can't handle the birth control part, he's not that kinda dr. But he said get back to planned parenthood and do a non hormonal iud.

Didn't get out of there til almost 5pm and rushed back to work with my lab orders and script in my purse. Pulled a full shift slinging beers and cocktails exhausted.

Here's the kicker. I get back to the ranch about 12:30 am and in order to get to my house (one way in, one way out road) you have to cross the railroad tracks, it runs thru the middle of my front 230 acres. The train is dead stopped in the middle of my crossing. I'm 1.5 miles away from my house but can't get there. Seriously????? I'm sick, tired, cold, hungry and mad by this time. I get out. Walk about 400 yards to the engine, in the dark. Surprise the guy in the engine and said MOVE IT. Not happening he said, they were loading the rail cars with gravel at the quarry up the tracks. I said ok.... I'm crawling under your train and going home. He said, that's illegal and unsafe. I said call someone who cares. So I parked my truck by my barn, crawled under and walked in the dark (thank goodness for flashlight cell phone apps) and cold 1.5 miles.

Get home and darling fiancé says hi babe. Where you been? I didn't even attempt to explain. Give me my dog, my side of the bed, some NyQuil and leave me alone.

Yday was one for the books. Thank god I have a sense of humor. I will have a better day today. By god.
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:30 AM   #204
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaGetz View Post
So sorry to hear about your son, Susan. The issues he is dealing with can be so intertwined, can't they? Sleep disorders can cause depression as can eating disorders and depression can affect both sleep patterns and eating issues. I so hope things will get straightened out. How old is your son?

Good luck with your doctor's appointment today. I went to my doc yesterday in the hope of addressing my own thyroid issues. I've never had so many vials of blood drawn at one sitting but I'm really glad she is checking my vitamin levels as well as thyroid. It is so wonderful that you can schedule an hour with your doctor. At my practice it is pretty much in and out in 20 minutes.
He's 21 in February Lola.. He's a good kid, but can't live here on the ranch with me because of his relationship with my dad is bad. He's currently staying with his youth pastors family until we can get him productive and on his feet. But I gotta get him well before he can be normal. So I joked with him yday about getting our labs done together lol. Mom/son lab work, the starting of a bad novel lol.
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:42 AM   #205
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Originally Posted by greengeeny View Post
You are a great mom. The first step to fixing the issues is finding out what the problems are. If he is living with you now, and you cook and eat lc, he will automatically see some benefits of it. Good luck with teh dr. today!!
I try, but some kids make it difficult. He's one of those. I wish he were still at home (sorta) so I could help him more with eating. But he made choices last year that don't jive with my father and really.. My life. He's lazy and unmotivated. Unproductive and lost. My hard core republican, ex cop, ex Air Force, ex huge construction business owner slash hard scrabble texas rancher dad can't grasp "depression" or ADD. Or emotions from a young male either for that matter. Dads embarrassed by him, and frankly I think he's kinda scared of Dallas. Dallas went thru a very dark period when he talked of suicide and that really shook my dad up. So dad's response was if he didn't have to deal with it daily by Dallas living here, then it didn't exist. Dal lived on the streets for awhile twice now. I help all I can, but I have to do some tough love too. If I keep helping him, enabling him.. He will never get off his butt. The best approach I know is to get him help thru his mental health and then we can work on jobs, and housing. Then maybe he can be successful.
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Old 01-16-2014, 07:44 AM   #206
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Originally Posted by LoCarbGal View Post
Wow Susan! That is a great loss, and must be so exciting to see! I'm sure that will provide some further motivation to really focus on your eating. WTG girl!
Thank you! I know it will bounce and all that, because my plan is not perfect, but I'm at least really motivated to stick to lower cals than normally on LC
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Old 01-16-2014, 12:55 PM   #207
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Wow Susan. That's all I can say after reading the post of your day from hell. Talk about the craziest of days. You're a strong chick to get through all that!

I'm so sorry your son is going through all that. You are a good mom to stand by him and get him as much help as you can. After that, it's out of your hands.
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Old 01-18-2014, 07:45 AM   #208
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Morning...

I am so tired this morning. Ugh. It's 930 and I have to be at work at 1030 and all I want to do rt now is crawl back in bed with my honey and Pearlsnap.

Long night at work last night and I have to train a new girl today, I went ahead and hired. Because I'm tired. Lol.

Update tonight, I am going to attempt to have a quiet night at home. And make fat bombs.
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Old 01-19-2014, 08:14 AM   #209
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Fat bombs
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Old 01-19-2014, 09:40 AM   #210
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Fat bombs
Haha, I knew you'd like that Lisa

I didn't end up making them, I didn't get home til 3am
Off tomorrow though, gonna do grocery store and some cooking, maybe then.
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