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Old 03-30-2014, 05:45 AM   #301
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Quiet Sunday morning at my house, for now at least... I have a full day planned for today, work at 11. So gotta get moving even though I'd much rather stay in bed.

I went slightly off plan after the concert when we wound up having a 2am breakfast. But yday was semi ok, and no urges to go off plan today. I have chicken salad ready to take to work with me, and I intend on lots of water.

The concert was insane. Was very very crowded. 15 ppl deep shoulder to shoulder just to get to the bar, and paid 28 dollars for 2 canned beers and 2 shots. Ugh. I'm in the wrong business apparently. Why can't I have an amphitheater at my place. Parking alone would be $ staggering.

Ok.. This is me moving my butt. Gotta get my garden watered befor work, and am also moving some of moms plants out of her green house to my house today. See if I can bring them back, they had a hard winter too. My sister and i have split them up, some of my moms plants are older than me.

Got the United Daughters of the Confederacy plaque hung on moms headstone yday, it looks perfect. And will be getting the bench and table I have being sand blasted and repainted back sometime this week. So some of that is falling into place.
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Old 04-03-2014, 06:39 AM   #302
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Well. I am still alive.

Been staying close to plan, and at 194 this morning.

Just honestly been busy and haven't had time to post.

Will try to later today, as I need to catch up.
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Old 04-03-2014, 08:10 AM   #303
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I have been wondering about you. Hope all is well!
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Old 04-03-2014, 11:28 AM   #304
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Glad you popped in, Susan. Great on sticking to plan and your weigh in is great!
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Old 04-04-2014, 07:10 AM   #305
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Morning

Coffee coffee coffee, I need more coffee.

Bloated this morning which is sorta odd, I was pretty well on plan yday except too many diet cokes. Oh well. Going to stay LC today and try to get back into ketosis again.

Been crazy busy with work and ranch, have new calves being born almost every day, they are such dolls. I wish though I had just one day.. One that I didn't have to leave the house.

Worked some at the cemetery getting things prepared for the Arbor Day planting that is happening on the 8th. Was almost like spending the afternoon with mom.

As ordered, JT called the baby mama and left a voice mail stating he would be at the appointed meeting place and time on Saturday to have his first visitation with his daughter, several hours later he got a text from her stating that it would be a bad time for her.. Because the baby has a double ear infection and has had a reaction to the meds. JT went INTO FREAKIN ORBIT. He has been so wound up about finally getting to see her, with anxiety and panic almost. That this response sent him over the edge. And who gets the fall out of that? Moi.

First of all, who does this chick think she is? It's court ordered. And what the hell does an ear infection have to do with a 3 hour visit? He's her FATHER. do fathers never have to experience a sick little one? It was all I could do to talk him down from this one, without getting into a nasty shouting match over it. I told him he has to get in control of this situation NOW. Or every situation will be controlled by this immature manipulative idiot. Told him not to get sucked into the texting thing.. She has a PHONE. force her to use it. And that he can't control anyone's actions or reactions but his own. So... He did what he was ordered to do by calling her 48hours in advance, and he will show up to the meeting place at the appointed time. Rather this twit decides to come or not. We emailed our attny.

Just is hugely disappointing, he's been trying to emotionally gear up for this since the orders were written. We've talked it up, shopped for a small gift for her, I've given him the best advice I can about how to direct this relationship so it doesn't turn into a circus by staying focused on the child, being an adult even when she isn't, and by knowing as a father he is doing the right thing, I've been overly supportive.. Even when I didn't feel like it.

I honestly am considering coaxing him into contacting a fathers rights group. And considering calling CPS to do a welfare check. She plays more games like this in the future. I'll call them myself. JT has a right to know that his baby is safe and being taken care of. Oh and just a note, his child support got paid before the due date.

Ok.. That rant is behind me. I'm off to cook bacon, be productive and proactive in my life lol.
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Old 04-04-2014, 08:28 AM   #306
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Baby mama sounds like a real piece of work, and I agree with every single thing you've said. He needs to nip this in the bud, document EVERY SINGLE THING, and do exactly what the court order asks of him. I don't think a CPS visit would be out of line either. And my first reaction to it not being a good time because baby is sick was exactly like yours. IT DOESN'T MATTER, HE IS HER FATHER!!!

You must be a saint to deal with all of this. Or be very much in love. Or both!!!
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Old 04-05-2014, 07:44 AM   #307
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Morning,, trying to enjoy my coffee this morning before tackling the world.

I got an unexpected night at home alone last night, that was nice.

I guess I must be stressed to the max because I am a, not losing even though I'm on plan. B, my chin and face are completely broke out... Or it's the new birth control. C, I've been pretty hateful to just about everyone. That could be the bc too I guess. Or maybe I just need a flipping break.

I'm really tired of helping everyone else but myself. It dawned on me yday. I scooped up my tablet and phone from my dad's office yday while I was dealing with about ten issues for EVERYONE but myself. Announced... I'm done and walked home. JT god bless him took the cue and called his buddy to go fishing for the evening. So while the water was filling my bathtub, doors locked, phone off, I made a mental list of the things I'm NOT going to do anymore for other ppl and a second list of things I AM going to do for myself. And damn the outcome.

During all that drama yday, the baby mama called and... Wait for it... He answered the phone. SIGH. made nice about her making excuses for today, which I'm sure she hung up and laughed to herself about how easy it was to pacify him. I tried to explain to him that he just reaffirmed her being in control of the situation, he "approved" of her calling the meeting date off. I was so angry, I thought I might have an aneurism. Thanks JT for setting the stage for the rest of our lives involvement with this twit!

So here I sit, coffee, quiet and needing to get ready, and mentally gearing up for what I hope is a better day.

What else can I do?
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Old 04-05-2014, 08:10 AM   #308
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You are doing the right thing, taking care of yourself. You aren't any good to anyone else if you're not okay. Plus, sometimes people just need to be reminded to take care of themselves. Hang in there girl!
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Old 04-05-2014, 03:49 PM   #309
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Thinking of you Susan. I really hope things start going more smoothly and that you can have at least a peaceful interlude. I wish you could just take a break and do something you find relaxing and pleasurable. For me that is listening to music and sitting outside in the beautiful spring weather reading. A couple of my girlfriends get massages or go swimming. Pamper yourself for a change. You deserve it sweetie.
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Old 04-08-2014, 05:55 AM   #310
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I've gotta get back on track

Scale is sneaking up, I'm avoiding it. Been way off plan. Ugh.

So hard to recommit sometimes, I just get tired of feeling deprived of foods that are considered normal for everyone else. Thing is, I know the result. I know how it's going to make me feel, I know I know I know.

Makes me feel like a loser too when I cheat.

Today - day one again.
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Old 04-08-2014, 08:32 AM   #311
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I understand just how you're feeling. But I don't like to hear that you're feeling like a loser. (I know that feeling too - why do we do that to ourselves? You certainly didn't call me a loser when I went off JUDDD and gained some weight. Just the opposite).

Day 1, fresh start. Take a deep breath and remember you are doing this for YOU! And you are worth it, girl!
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Old 04-09-2014, 01:41 AM   #312
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You ARE worth it.

Remind yourself that although there are indeed 'foods that are considered normal for everyone else' it is also true that those who eat (and/or overindulge in) those foods will eventually gain weight just like we do.

Hope day 1 went well. Good luck with day 2.
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Old 04-10-2014, 06:06 AM   #313
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Thanks ladies! Love y'all!

Yday was eh... Good? I snacked too much, grazed the fridge too much but over all kept it LC. Will take me a day or two to get back very strict, and I know that. Least it wasn't fried chicken, French fries and ice cream like Monday. Ugh. No wonder I didn't end up very sick from that.

So.. You both mentioned me doing this for me.. Yep. And it's the only thing that I have been doing for me, unfortunately. I realized again yday, that EVERYTHING I did yday was for other ppl. Again... Same as the other day when everything I did that day was of really no benefit to me directly. I've gotta learn to say no, not offer myself so often, to be more thoughtful about how to delegate things that are really not my problem back on to the rightful person. Learning to say no gracefully and with assertiveness is a real issue for me.

With that thought, off I go to take my son to the dmv before work (see? Committed to it because otherwise I know it won't get done) when will I learn to just let them fail or flourish?
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Old 04-11-2014, 11:57 AM   #314
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Hi Susan, nice to see you're still going strong! I'm restarting again after well, messing up. will be checking in here!
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Old 04-12-2014, 11:35 AM   #315
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Happy Saturday y'all

Got up early and watered my garden, it's coming along pretty good considering our drought here

Tomatos
Turnip greens
Red bell
Green bell
Jalapeño
Cantaloupe
Cucumber
Banana pepper
Brussel sprout
Black diamond watermelon
Butternut squash
Acorn squash
Yellow summer squash
Artichoke (don't know if this ones gonna grow)
And returning asparagus this year

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Old 04-12-2014, 04:37 PM   #316
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I am so jealous of your garden. But it is a lot of work! Great exercise!
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Old 04-13-2014, 07:41 AM   #317
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Lots of work yep, but I need it lol. All that bending over is better than a gym membership lol.

I'm tired today, too many days of poor eating and then a hard shift last night have caught up with me. I'm achy and it know it's the residual effect of wheat. Yday was pretty clean eating, and a dd so today I'm starving... I'm going to keep it LC and stay on track. I feel like I'm at that point break where I can finally get the cravings and slip sliding off my mind.

Working a double today, so off to the showers!
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Old 04-16-2014, 08:39 AM   #318
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Morning,

Trying to get my butt moving today, but not having much success lol.

Beautiful day and and I sincerely think the cool overnight temps are gone until winter next year. Thank goodness. Been a weird winter.

I'm staying close to plan, although I did have a slip with some ruffles chips yday. Oh well. Today's a new day and so far, coffee hwc and 2oz cheese and sausage patty.

Emotionally gearing up for yet another episode of baby mama drama which starts tomorrow with Jts phone call 48 hour notice. We shall see how this one plays out.

Making plans for some sort of Easter dinner with dad and my sisters crew. We haven't decided on what yet. She mentioned enchiladas and I looked at her like she's crazy knowing I'm LC and my daughter is gluten free lol.

Off to work dodging the humming birds on my way off my patio, I have about 15 of them at my feeders right now lol.
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Old 04-16-2014, 01:51 PM   #319
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Mmmmmm......enchiladas. I'm already looking forward to Cinco de Mayo. I make them once a year, along with homemade margaritas made with real simple syrup and my own homegrown lemons. I wish I had a lime tree, but evidently while all other citrus grows well here, limes don't.

Sounds like a good, on plan day today so far. I just love LC food!

Good luck with baby mama (or shall we just call her BM? ) Potty humor...gotta love it. Sorry, I'm in a goofy mood today. Must be UD euphoria. Have a great day!
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Old 04-18-2014, 08:21 AM   #320
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Good Friday morning...

And TOM! Finally a normal one, on cycle and normal flow! Thanks birth control pills!

Didn't weigh this morning though, I know I'm retaining and I just don't wanna see how much lol. Just keeping on plan until Sunday and then I'll weigh.

The baby mama drama continues. So JT made the call yday afternoon and she answered. He said... This is me calling to let you know that I'll be at blah blah blah at blah blah blah time. And she was like... Well I will have to ask my fiancé. JT says it's court ordered. And hung up. So.. A little later he gets a text from her. A long one. Stating how she's never asked anything from JT, how she's talked to a lawyer, and had he ever considered giving up his rights, how she would never ask him for anything and how she would never bad mouth him etc. and for JT to please consider giving up his parental rights.

Sigh.

JT didn't text back and he's got a lot to consider right now. This could go so many ways. I said first things first is to let her sweat for a response for a day or two, she made him wait 18 months to get to this point, she can sweat for a day. Second I reminded him that the immediate process is that there IS a court order to appear. Regardless of what's being discussed. So... JT needs to abide by that court order so it doesn't bite him in the ass later on. Never mind if she shows up or not, if she doesn't... That's on her. Third,. I don't think this chick gets it. It's not up to JT or her any more, this is an open case with the texas attny generals office now. They want two supporting parents. They may not allow JT to give up his rights because the child is on medicaid. If she were married with an adoptive parent waiting to adopt and could prove income for the child, they might consider it. But as long as she's on welfare, they would let JT off the hook even if he and she both wanted it. Those are facts.

Fourth... JT needs to make a decision on what he wants, without my influence on it. I told him yday that this may be the only child he ever has. And does he really want to give that away? What about the kiddos rights to know her family? She has a grandpa, aunt, cousins, young uncles that she will never get to know. Not to mention an amazing REAL father. How's that fair to her? Lots of ppl have two dads or moms, and aren't they better off for it? Who's to say this fiancé of baby mamas is a good dad at all? Or is gonna stick around?

Oy. Gonna be a long weekend. And I'm gonna try to be as rational as possible. Oh... And take care of a million other things too. Plus eat well. Ha.

See this place later, I gotta get busy being spectacular!
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Old 04-19-2014, 07:51 AM   #321
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Wow. That's all I got. Just wow.

People really are colossally stupid, aren't they? Does it ever cross your mind how did he ever hook up with someone like that in the first place? Not to criticize him. I mean we've all had "those" moments of stupid.

You're right, he's got some important decisions to make. So sorry for this stressful time.

Meanwhile, have a wonderful weekend! Doing anything special for Easter?
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:09 AM   #322
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Figured I best check in, been awhile.

Easter was ok, my son came up and spent the day, we had family over and all turned out ok, I ate off plan...but I planned that lol. Monday morning I was over 200. This morning 193.8 - so, 2 really legit LC days and I'm back on track. I am however hungry this morning. So need to get something in my tummy before I get too hungry today. Virgin fat territory is just one lb away, I've never in my life weighed less than 192. Then there is the issue of clothes. Boo. I dread buying new stuff. But it's also summer time and I have literally nothing to wear. Like... Literally lol. I have one pair of baggy shorts, jeans that are falling off me. Shirts I'm ok with, panties n bras are all old and loose.

Spent all day yday chasing up cash to deposit into the accounts at work, the owner... Over drafted to the tune of 1200.00. I'll never understand that sort of behavior from a business owner. I took Monday off and Tuesday was madness. See what I get for taking a day off?

My garden is looking good, I was hoping for rain, but that didn't happen. We got the pump fixed for the sprinkler system, so they got a good soak last night instead of the hand watering sip I've been doing.

Ok.. Bacon is done. This is me.... Off n running.
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:38 AM   #323
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Fantastic weigh-in, Susan! I'm so excited to see you get below 192. I have a feeling that will be so significant, mentally, for you. Once you see you can get to that point, you may find it easier to keep going farther and farther down.

Your boss.....:shakes head: What a wonderful use of your time, to chase down money just to keep the bank accounts square. Wow.
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Old 04-24-2014, 08:38 AM   #324
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoCarbGal View Post
Fantastic weigh-in, Susan! I'm so excited to see you get below 192. I have a feeling that will be so significant, mentally, for you. Once you see you can get to that point, you may find it easier to keep going farther and farther down.

Your boss.....:shakes head: What a wonderful use of your time, to chase down money just to keep the bank accounts square. Wow.
195.2 this morning, because I got wayyy too hungry last night and had too many dry roasted peanuts(salt galore). And broth and pickle juice. I had a wicked headache and was trying to see if it was a salt issue. So, bloaty this morning from it. Still in ketosis however!

192 is a huge number for me, silly as it sounds. That was what I got down to before I derailed back in 2010 after losing almost 70 lbs. I have NEVER been smaller than 192 in my life. If I was, it was like sixth grade or something.

Going to do some shopping today, groceries and maybe some shorts. Hopefully no dressing room crying hysterics
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Old 05-03-2014, 08:46 AM   #325
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Wow, I finally have a moment to myself to catch up.

I'm still slightly off plan. And holding a pattern of 197-200 easy day, had an odd day of 193 yday. Dehydrated I think.

Been working a lot, trying to stay ahead of the game at work. Not an easy task. The ranch and garden been really busy too. Then my kiddos car blew up. So waiting and chasing parts for that. I've got pepper blooms, squash blooms and tomato blooms everywhere! Going to be really fabulous when I start getting veggies.

Baby mama drama continues. She wants JT to give up rights, he wants to also but it's getting the AG office to agree that's gonna be the issue. So we are back n forth between the attny gens office and our attny.

Gotta run, gonna try to enjoy my half day off before work tonight
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Old 05-03-2014, 09:39 AM   #326
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Glad to see you pop in, Susan. Staying busy is good, although not all the drama. Take care!
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Old 05-07-2014, 08:18 AM   #327
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Ugh. Total slips and cheats these days. I am completely off plan and it's showing.

My face is broke out, I feel like ****, my sleep is all jacked up, my body hurts like I've been in a torture camp. My hunger and cravings are off the charts, my planning and prepping has gone out the window. I've even got a loose tooth.

Those are just the more obvious things, the part I can't document is the slips, on the fly decisions to make bad choices. Usually when I'm alone, which has morphed into not having to be alone to cheat.

Sigh. As bad as I'd like to beat myself up about this and continue on my self destructive path "enjoying" all the crap I've been putting into my body. I really know it has to stop before I gain 50+ back.

So.. Eh. Here I am, fat dumpy and low self confidence that I can get back on a better path.
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Old 05-07-2014, 08:47 AM   #328
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I'm sorry you're struggling like this, Susan!

Stress is a healthy eating killer! I know you have your fair share of it. It always blows me away how all those awful symptoms and feelings we get from eating bad isn't enough to stop us from doing it. I've often wondered if I somehow try to punish myself. Sounds insane, but there it is.

There are some very interesting conversations about Intuitive Eating (IE) and Hunger Directed Eating (HDE) over on the JUDDD boards and in the journals. I'm giving it a try, along with JUDDD. I'm just in the beginning stages and learning as I go, but it's quite interesting. I'm linking my new journal, along with another really good one that got me started on this. No pressure, but I just thought you might be interested.

LoCarbGal's Balancing Act ~ Losing Fat, Building Muscle, & Living Life!

Taming The Hungry Beast

There are some others, but I'll leave you to find them. If you want more, just ask!

Hope you have a better day and feeling better.
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Old 05-14-2014, 07:37 AM   #329
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 1,992
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Stats: 243/202/?
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: July 4th 2013 sugar first, then LC august 25th
Yep, this is me... Slinking back to my journal with nothing new or good or encouraging to report. I'm still being unaccountable, off the path, and not losing because of bad choices.

The good news is that I absolutely know it. Not making any excuses. A phantom didn't come into my kitchen and buy/prepare/eat chicken fried steak with gravy and potatoes last night. I did. It wasn't a "oh there's sugar in that!?" Mistake/slip at a party... It was me at the gas station with the fried burrito, 44oz dr pepper and the king sized bag of m & m's.

My return to LCHF eating is going to have to be AS dramatic as my leaving it I'm afraid. And I'm honestly not sure I have the mindset to do it right now.

Why I haven't had a heart attack before now is a miracle of science, or should be anyways. Between work stress, home stress, and my ever indulgent lifestyle and eating it truly should be in a medical journal somewhere.

Beyond the actual eating part of my cascade of going off plan events there has been one change that I'm making right now as part of the path back to where I want/need to be and that's accountability. So! That's today's project. Accountability.

I'm here! I'm back to reading/posting/lending support to others when I really don't feel like it. I haven't posted in the lobby or other forums for weeks, I haven't weighed, I haven't made anything new or exciting in the way of food. And I certainly haven't lent any support to others here or on FB pages I subscribe to for LC eating.

So, with that. I have reading to do, posting if it strikes a chord with me and some real hard knuckling to do today if I wanna make this a LCHF good day today.

It's one day. Or.. Day one. Yeeesh.
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Old 06-10-2014, 09:55 PM   #330
Major LCF Poster!
 
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 1,992
Gallery: susan41
Stats: 243/202/?
WOE: Atkins
Start Date: July 4th 2013 sugar first, then LC august 25th
You can't make this stuff up. Honestly. Lol. I wish I had a video of my every day life. Y'all would get a big kick out of it.

A. I'm still semi LC
B. Still no visit with baby. We still pay support.
C. Darling son been staying on my sofa, then leaves, steals money. Leaves car on side of roadie 300 miles from me, my car - road trip to go get my effing property's tomorrow. And I'm done with my kid for awhile. Told him good luck, don't contact me.
D. Darling daughter went to jail, I get her car out of impound, her and the loser bf out of jail, she's now driving my car, 3 weeks later.. She still doesn't have enough $ to get her own buy here we finance gig. Told her today, get her act together or I'll divorce her too.
E. I quit my job yesterday. Finally.

And ppl wonder why I drink.

Will check in soon!
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