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SeriouslyFunny 10-07-2013 02:01 PM

SeriouslyFunny's Semi-serious Weight Loss
I've been resisting starting a journal for awhile. But I read the forum posts on Low Carb Friends almost daily, and I get a lot of inspiration out of the people who contribute here. And, for a variety of reasons I may or may not write about here eventually, I don't talk about my diet and weight loss anywhere else. Sometimes I have something to say, though. I think. We'll see.

Ten years ago, I lost 35 pounds doing Atkins, and was hugely helped by connecting with people on a low-carb Usenet group. I liked the diet, I loved the results -- especially the energy boost -- and I was working out every day. I had a job I enjoyed immensely, and life was good.

Then I noticed I was having trouble getting on and off the machines, and even walking around for longer periods of time. Working out got super-hard, unpleasantly so. I saw a doctor, and it turned out that I had severe arthritis in my hips, and pretty bad arthritis in my knees. The doctors all expressed shock that someone of my not-so-advanced age would have the arthritic hips of a 70-year-old, which I suppose might have made me feel special, but not really, it turns out. It just made me depressed.

Then I was laid off from my newspaper job. I started writing freelance at home, and wasn't working out, and stopped sticking to the diet, and the weight came back ... plus more.

Over the next few years, stuff happened, which sort of explains why I haven't been taking very good care of myself:

- I got first one hip replaced, then, a year later, the other.

- Between medical bills associated with the surgeries, and the economy, and being a dumbass about mortgage brokerage, I lost my house.

- My husband lost his job, but then got another, better job, so things were on the upswing ...

- ... Then, out of left field, he was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure, and had to go on dialysis, and left his full-time job.

- We moved into a cheaper apartment, and shortly after we moved, my husband had a cardiac incident, had emergency open-heart surgery, almost died, and came home to spend the next year recovering with me taking care of him. Also, we had a landlord who was a complete dick.

- Finally, a few months ago, we moved into yet another, even cheaper but WAY better apartment with a nice landlord and great neighbors in a better location.

So now I'm working more, we like where we live, he's finally looking at going back to work after being on disability for almost two years, and money's getting slightly better. FINALLY. Over this last period, we've slowly allowed ourselves to get over our misplaced dignity and take advantage of a lot of the social programs available because he's on SSSI, including the SNAP food program. We just started that two months ago, and having money for good, healthy food is a huge piece of the financial/health puzzle.

And so, a week or so back, I started again. I somehow left my scale behind when we moved the last time, so I haven't weighed myself yet (new scale will be bought on payday next week) but I know my body well enough to see the bloat disappearing, and my pants aren't as snug. How that corresponds to actual pounds lost remains to be seen.

I have a lot of emotional issues attached to dieting (I was treated for an eating disorder in my early 20s), and will probably talk about those here. I'm also going to be starting Omega-3 supplements, continuing to drink UV tonics, and all that other good stuff. Hopefully, writing daily, like reading the posts, will keep me accountable.

Let the games begin!

SeriouslyFunny 10-09-2013 01:31 PM

Continuing forward. Not weighing myself has been harder than I expected -- in the past, when actively losing, I was a daily weigher. Waiting another week to see results is HARD, but I don't get a new scale until next week!

I'm less than thrilled to be starting this when all the delicious pumpkin-flavored foods are on the shelves (damn you, Trader Joe's!) but there are things I can enjoy. Like real pumpkin, mixed with Greek yogurt, spices and stevia, which is a delicious breakfast. Also, TJ's has their seasonal Pumpkin Spice ground coffee, so I'll pick up some of that today, and drink it with HC and stevia.

Food has been the same for the past two days:

B: Pumpkin Greek yogurt with stevia, BP coffee.
L: Spinach salad with chicken, blue cheese dressing.
D: Pork loin, green beans.

I noticed for the first time that The Husband accidentally picked up "lite" salad dressing at the store, so I added a dollop of olive oil to the salads to keep my fat intake high.

Also, I'm out of unfiltered vinegar, so no tonics at the moment. Tonight/tomorrow, though!

SeriouslyFunny 10-18-2013 11:04 AM

The scale arrived from Amazon -- down 6 pounds. Not a spectacular start, but I'll take it!

The krill oil supplement came in the same shipment. So now I shall have the strong mighty heart of a whale! And the shiny, thick coat of a ... furry whale? Maybe, if I'm trying to lose weight, I don't want to compare myself to a whale. Just a thought.

This afternoon, it's an outing to Trader Joe's to replenish supplies -- specifically Greek yogurt, coconut oil, unfiltered vinegar. I'm doing this thing!

GailyGail 10-18-2013 11:14 AM

You are doing really well and congratulations on your six pound weight loss. That IS a good start and you should be pleased.

I am so sorry about the tumultuous and sad events that you have been through recently. You must be an awfully strong person to weather so many storms and your husband is very lucky to have you.

I agree with you about pumpkin -- I love fresh or canned pumpkin and have a hard time staying away from high carb sugary pumpkin treats!

SeriouslyFunny 10-18-2013 12:10 PM


Originally Posted by GailyGail (Post 16648908)
You are doing really well and congratulations on your six pound weight loss. That IS a good start and you should be pleased.

Thanks, Gail! I love your picture. Gorgeous.

SeriouslyFunny 10-18-2013 01:11 PM

Also, too, for today: I just couldn't get it together for breakfast this morning other than coffee. So I did what felt like an extravagant breakfast-for-lunch, which isn't all that extravagant once I put it on paper: 3 eggs OM, two slices of thick-cut bacon, 1/2 cup Greek yogurt with 1/2 cup of pumpkin. It was delicious, and super-filling. I'm on of those people who can eat the same five or six things over and over, so long as they're well-made and I have all the ingredients handy.

Dinner tonight: Some sort of protein (pork?) and a big spinach salad.

SeriouslyFunny 10-19-2013 10:23 AM

I am officially down 10 pounds. I know that the hard part starts now, but not having the water bloat feels good. Last night I wanted to eat ALL THE THINGS -- we had roast chicken with salad, and a little later I had more chicken because I was still hungry, and then even later I ate a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter. The appetite suppressing should start soon, but last night was murder.

Still, the scale was down this morning. Oh, I love you, LC.

Menu for today:

B: 2 eggs, 4 bacon, BP coffee
L: Spinach salad w/HB eggs
D: Roast pork, green beans

GailyGail 10-19-2013 12:44 PM

Your eating plan is terrific. You are totally going in the right direction. I really want to try the Greek yogurt and pumpkin -- that sounds fabulous! I am really, really happy for you! Hope you have a great rest of the weekend!

DesertGurl 10-19-2013 05:32 PM

Congrat's on your losses so far, you're doing great!!! Great things are ahead for you :high5:

SeriouslyFunny 10-20-2013 05:15 PM

Today has been an awesome day. I was certain I'd be down with Induction Flu, but instead I've felt fantastic -- it's a low/no-pain day for my arthritis, and that LC energy from not having blood sugar swings. I do have a mild almost-headache, but it's nothing like I expected from the last time I went head-first into low-carb.


Late breakfast/lunch -- three eggs, four bacon, coffee with LC creamer (the last of the bottle, switching to HC only)

Dinner/snack -- Two kielbasa, coffee with coconut oil and HC.

No veggies today, but I'm not sweating it. I have a thing I have to do at 7:30 tonight, and I'm eating the sausages and drinking the oiled-up coffee now to sail through the evening. If I feel snacky when I get home around 9, I may eat a salad then.

So far today: 1,163 cal., 72% fat, 24% protein, 4% carb.

LolaGetz 10-21-2013 01:18 AM

I'm so glad you had a wonderful day. Wanted to let you know that one of the reasons I decided to embark upon this WOE is that I read some reports about studies which seem to indicate low carb diets may be beneficial for arthritis. I am certainly hoping that may prove true, for me and for you.

SeriouslyFunny 10-21-2013 01:47 AM


Originally Posted by LolaGetz (Post 16651744)
I'm so glad you had a wonderful day. Wanted to let you know that one of the reasons I decided to embark upon this WOE is that I read some reports about studies which seem to indicate low carb diets may be beneficial for arthritis. I am certainly hoping that may prove true, for me and for you.

I know from experience that cutting simple carbs -- especially sugar -- helps my arthritis. I've come to believe that wheat increases inflammation for me, too. A big part of this is my wanting to just not feel crappy all the time. Losing weight is a nice bonus, but even if that didn't happen, I need to be realistic about what makes my body feel bad, and feel good. Here's hoping it brings improvements for both of us!

SeriouslyFunny 10-21-2013 01:19 PM

Made it through the weekend intact. Because people do, it seems, read this sometimes, I'll avoid the graphic description of the CATASTROPHIC poo incident last night -- let me just say that my pipes are clean. Holy moley.

Whether because of that, or genuine fat loss, I'm down another pound today. I accept the outcome no matter what the reason. Woo! (Woo?)

Today's menu (looks like I may need to add some calories somehow):

B: Greek yogurt w/pumpkin (+ cinnamon, ginger, stevia), BP coffee
L: Spinach salad with chicken
D: Hamburger patty w/cheddar cheese, green beans

Projected day: 984 cal, 83% fat, 12% protein, 6% carb

SeriouslyFunny 10-22-2013 11:35 AM

Down a couple more pounds this morning, to make 15 since I started. Seeing results, as well as feeling better, keeps me motivated. I started using a food calculator program with a weight graph when I began, and I'm waaaay ahead of the projected curve for my first goal. That's pretty great.

I knew I was going to want a protein shake for breakfast, but we had no ice cubes (our crap plastic trays died), so on a whim I put a couple of scoops of canned pumpkin in the freezer last night to use instead -- pumpkin breakfast milkshakes! Not an original invention, I know, but new to me. Holy crap, that's delicious.

I'm going to check out a new whiskey bar in town tonight, and plan to have a couple of drinks for the first time since restarting LC. I love small-batch bourbon, and this place has quite a few that I've never tried. I'm adding three bourbons (neat) to my calorie count for the day, though I'll probably only have two. And I'll make sure I eat right before I leave the house, because I'm not entirely stupid.

Plan for today:

B: Pumpkin protein shake (whey protein, HC), BP coffee
L: Spinach salad with cream
D: Big hamburger patty with cheese
Evening: Bourbon!

Cal: 1,658 Protein: 26% Fat: 53% Carb: 8%

SeriouslyFunny 10-24-2013 06:59 PM

Haven't weighed for a couple of days. My food has been on plan, but I went out for drinks two days running. None today, though, and I'm hoping tomorrow will show continued loss.

Late breakfast: Three eggs, scrambled with cheese, BP coffee
Dinner: Spinach salad with chicken, blue cheese dressing

I have pork butt roasting in the oven right now, it should be done around 8 p.m., which is a little late to eat but it smells amazing. I seasoned it with Worcestershire sauce, cumin, paprika, garlic, salt and pepper. ("A little late to eat" doesn't mean I won't be eating some of it.) ( I mean, I'm not made of stone, y'all.)

GailyGail 10-25-2013 02:46 AM

You are doing great! I think you will show continued losses on the scale. Alcohol does not slow everyone down -- if you figure it into the calorie count, you should be fine. Glad you had a little bourbon treat. The pork butt you made sounds fabulous!

SeriouslyFunny 10-25-2013 11:51 AM

So today, I'm in a mood. There's reasons for it, I guess, though not very good ones. Again, it's time for the Big-Ass Halloween Bash that these people I know throw at their fabulous almost-a-mansion, and all sorts of people I know who are local actors and comic book creators and whatnot will be there, and they'll all look awesome in their incredibly creative costumes, and I'll feel like a huge schlub.

I'm well liked. I've had several people MAKE me promise that I wouldn't flake this year, like I did last year. But I hate costume things. It serves to make me hyper-aware that I'm not happy with how I look. Not that I'd be wearing a Sexy Fireman-Nurse-Teddybear-Hooker get-up even if I was at a weight I liked, but this just makes me even more self-conscious and dissatisfied than usual.

So. I'm grumpy. I'm expected to be at a crowded event (and I hate crowds) in a costume (I hate coming up with costumes). Apparently, I HATE FUN.

I dragged my feet on putting my costume together for The Husband and myself - I really wanted us to be Simon Pegg (him) and Nick Frost (me) from "The World's End" -- but time got away from me and the party's tomorrow, so I'll be doing my backup plan.

I'll be The Easter Bunny in the Off-Season. I have these cool, huge furry rabbit ears, and I'll be wearing pajama pants and my nightshirt, with a brown fleece bathrobe open over that. When anyone asks what I am, I say, "The Easter Bunny." When they ask about my clothes, or why I don't have a basket of goodies, I'll scowl and say, "It's October." I may carry some cigarettes, or beef jerky, or condoms in my pockets to hand out.

Today's food plan:

B: Protein shake, BP coffee
L: Hamburger patty with cheddar, fried egg
D: Leftover pork roast, spinach salad
sometime during the day: Vinegar tonic

Cal: 1,776 P: 30% F: 66% C: 4%

LolaGetz 10-25-2013 12:27 PM

Love your costume idea, especially your plan of reminding any inquirer that 'it's October'. I've been feeling rather down today and the giggle you gave me was very welcome. I actually share your reluctance to attend large gatherings and am not fond of costuming myself as I've found that such costumes can soon become uncomfortable...thus my habit of costume minimalism.

SeriouslyFunny 10-29-2013 05:00 PM

Haven't posted for a couple of days, but all is well. The Halloween party was fine and fun, I had a couple of drinks but nothing extreme. My food has been in the vicinity of on-plan, if not always 100%. Which is why I haven't lost anything, certainly, although I haven't gained, either.

My arthritis has been moderately bad, which isn't helping my mood or my desire to stay LC. Funny how I know that carbs make me feels worse, yet when I feel bad I crave carbs. W.T.F. Late at night seems to be the worst, and I've kept it at bay with peppermint tea ... but I think I need to make some fat bombs, or some SF Jell-O or something to feed the demon. White-knuckling it makes me feel deprived.

Other than that ... days are good. The crackslaw makes me feel like I'm eating something not-healthy, even though it's SUPER healthy. I made a big second batch with leftover roast pork and a slathering of sriracha, and it tasted like kung pao.

Note to self: Drink more water. Get on that.

SeriouslyFunny 11-05-2013 02:48 PM

I've gone a number of days without posting here, but I wanted to make sure this remains a habit. Food has been on track, but I haven't weighed myself for some reason. I really don't know why. I'm feeling oddly superstitious about it, like I'll have gained weight somehow, even though I've been on plan.

Things have been kind of odd here, because, believe it or not, a truck drove into the outside wall of my bedroom on Saturday. I was taking a nap in there at the time, so it was quite startling! The woman lost control somehow, went across traffic, fishtailed on the lawn, and plowed into the side of the building.

So, I'm fine, nothing got destroyed, the wall's caved in but boarded up on the outside, and I moved our bed into the living room, which is weird. Just waiting on the insurance company to send a guy, and for the apartment owner to start repairs. Weirdness.


B: Protein shake, coffee
L: Spinach salad
D: ??? Maybe tacos with LC tortillas

LolaGetz 11-07-2013 04:23 PM

I can't believe you had to endure that terrifying experience of having a truck drive through the wall of the room in which you slept. Yikes! And you sound so incredibly calm about it all. I'm brimming over with admiration at your serene attitude.

I understand your ambivalence about weighing. On the one hand I feel I must do it to confirm I'm on track and, if not losing, at least not gaining. But in the other hand, it rather terrifies me. Well, perhaps terrify is too strong a term. It us just that I approach it with apprehension. I do know, however, that I'm the kind of person for whom it is essential. I gained about 10 lbs. in two years when I stopped my habit of daily weighing. It was too easy to ignore the slow creep of the extra pounds despite the fact that my clothes became too tight and I felt somewhat bloated. I guess I was in a state of denial. The scale forces me to confront reality.
Take care, Funny girl, and beware of careening trucks in the night. So glad you emerged unhurt and o.k.

SeriouslyFunny 11-08-2013 12:47 PM


Originally Posted by LolaGetz (Post 16675199)
I can't believe you had to endure that terrifying experience of having a truck drive through the wall of the room in which you slept. Yikes! And you sound so incredibly calm about it all. I'm brimming over with admiration at your serene attitude.

I think it's just that I've been through a ridiculous amount of crap the last few years, and this time -- well, as I told my husband, we weren't hurt, nothing of ours was damaged, it's not our fault, and it's not going to cost us any money to fix. Win! Sort of.

All in all, it's not that bad. Annoying, more than anything else, because I have one whole room of a small apartment unusable, and my bed's in the living room.

SeriouslyFunny 11-10-2013 11:39 AM

I've had the most terrible-horrible-no-good couple of days. A combination of physical crap (including the ever-present arthritis, but introducing Special Guests bladder infection, surprise horrible perimenopausal period, and crazy-brain from forgetting to take Celexa for five days) had me down for the count yesterday.

My lovely husband was, indeed, lovely. I warned him that, while I'd try to be nice to him, I was making no promises. So he was kind and supportive, and I needed that. The vinegar tonics served double-duty as treatment for the UTI, I drank a ridiculous amount of water and then ran off to pee about 5,746 times during the day (and night), and the period thing ... yeah, I'll avoid the TMI. But you remember the elevator scene in 'The Shining?'

We had picked up a turkey cheap (15 lb. bird for $9.99 with $30 Grocery Outlet purchase) and we spatchcocked and roasted that last night. So dinner was wonderful -- roast turkey with stuffing for him, spinach salad for me.

Then, because I was having the horrible, no-good period-and-UTI-and-crazy-brain day, I ate some ice cream. Yes, real ice cream. With sugar. I am weak and self-indulgent. I WAS STILL DOWN A HALF POUND THIS MORNING. So I refuse to feel shame.

And today ... turkey sandwiches! I'm going to roll mine up in a LC tortilla with mayo, provolone, and just a small schmear (2 tsp.) of cranberry sauce. I almost did that for breakfast, but decided to hold off, although it was hard.

Had the usual Greek yogurt with pumpkin and spices for breakfast, instead. The husband accidentally bought non-fat Greek yogurt at Trader Joe's, so I gave him the stinkeye. WE ARE FULL FAT PEOPLE! I cried. There's lots of cream (and coconut oil) in my coffee, though.


B: Greek yogurt (1/2 c.) with canned organic pumpkin (1/2 c.), stevia, and pumpkin pie spice, coffee with cream and CO

L: Turkey sandwich! on LC tortilla

D: Probably more turkey. I love turkey. With a huge salad.

SeriouslyFunny 02-04-2014 03:54 PM

I've been putting off posting out of guilt, but I know that I need to take responsibility. I went off the deep end at Christmas, and didn't pull myself out until two days ago.

But I'm back. Two days in, again, with meal plans in place, good food stocked in the kitchen, and no more excuses. I'm back at square one, but I'm back nonetheless.

LolaGetz 02-04-2014 04:03 PM

It's an ongoing journey for all of us, replete with obstacles and setbacks, and yet if we keep our destination in mind we'll gradually get back on course.

SeriouslyFunny 02-05-2014 11:35 AM

Third day of Return to Carb Detox. I woke up ravenously hungry, had a low-carb Cheese/Sun-Dried Tomato Scone (I made them with almond and flax meal), coffee with HC. Lunch was leftover chicken from last night. Veggies will come with dinner -- spinach salad with either chicken or soft-boiled eggs for protein.

The goal today is to drink lots of water. I did good on the water yesterday, but it could be better. Also: Get the coconut oil in somewhere, and drink an HVC tonic.

SeriouslyFunny 02-10-2014 11:01 AM

I've had a head cold for the last few days, during the stormiest winter snow storm Portland's seen since 2008. Chapped nose and lips ... and then, I realized, I have coconut oil! It really is good for everything, inside and out.

Sandy1 02-10-2014 12:13 PM

Just want to wish you some luck as you sure have been through some rough times over the last while, but you are a positive thinking person which is what has seen you through, its so easy to want to crawl into a corner and give up when life throws things at you, and you haven't, people used to tell me that stress etc makes you stronger, I always felt it wore me out lol, I think you are coping amazingly and you are doing amazing jumping back onto low carbing, I look forward to following you and I know you can do this from everything else you have written, you have the strength.
By the way I keep hearing about coconut oil, I think I will have to go and get some next week as it sounds really good.

SeriouslyFunny 03-13-2014 11:21 PM

I just needed a place to dump out what's in my head today:

I feel really good. Yesterday, I felt really bad, but I took care of myself and I can tell because I'm awesome today. I also ate a lot of bacon yesterday. Coincidence? I think not. Bacon = happiness.

I freaking LOVE this way of eating, so long as I do the due diligence and keep the kitchen stocked with the right food. Again, the message is: Take care of myself.

So far, tracking all my food, taking all my supplements, drinking the vinegar tonic, etc. feels good, it doesn't feel obsessive. I'm on the lookout for signs of unhealthy, eating-disorder thoughts, but it feels more corrective than damaging -- like managing sobriety. My thoughts are different about everything this time.

Tomorrow I go back to weighing. Another danger area for obsessive behavior, but I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.

Also: Trader Joes hollandaise. My word. Tomorrow for lunch, I will steam fresh asparagus and warm some of that up. Heaven!

SeriouslyFunny 03-14-2014 10:16 AM

I put a new battery in the digital scale, and hopped on for the first time in ages. I've been on Induction-level carbs for four days, so I hoped that, at the very least, I'd be below where I last left off. Nope. Dead-on the same.

So, yeah. Apparently my Buroughs-like wallow in bagels, Girl Scout cookies and Easter candy had (as my jeans already told me) swelled me up something good. I'm back right where I started the last time.

Which seems sort of appropriate, really. My first instinct was to not post anything about this at all, and keep it close to the vest, and then change my weight when I was down 5 pounds or so. But then I reminded myself that I'm not here to impress anyone, or gain anybody's approval -- this is a marathon, and I'm in it for me. Honesty and accountability are the only way this will work.

So ... now I'm off to change that number, and continue forward.

In happier news: I feel GREAT. Getting all that sugar out of my system is doing a lot to help my arthritis and my mood. This is what I need to remember, constantly. That the NOW is as rewarding as the LATER, which is too far off to be a good motivator. STAY IN THE NOW.

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