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Old 02-18-2014, 11:27 AM   #181
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2/18 - 233.2
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Old 02-18-2014, 08:30 PM   #182
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A daily reminder to myself.

Don't give up what you want most, for what you want right now.
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Old 02-23-2014, 09:27 PM   #183
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02/19 - 234.4*TOM
02/20 - 234.0
02/21 - 233.2
02/22 - 233.0
02/23 - 233.0

After a somewhat disappointing month so far, I decided it's time to put plan B in to action: exercise. I spent 5 hours walking around the zoo on Friday (lots of fun!), and put in 30 minutes (1.2 mi) on my elliptical both Saturday and Sunday. I'm just feeling so... stuck! I don't want to give up, I'm just a little confused as to where to go from here. What do you do when what you know doesn't seem to be working anymore? Hopefully I can get the scale moving again because this is not fun.
  • My birthday is now only 2 months away instead of 3.
  • Signs of spring are showing, which means almost time for swim lessons for my baby.
  • Swim lessons mean swim suit... ugh.
February has been a total bust, so I'm kinda glad it's almost over. I'm anxious to see what March brings if I keep the exercise going.
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Old 02-24-2014, 12:43 PM   #184
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234 today!?!? Meh. Not even going to try to figure that one out.

Moving right along...


I'm thinking maybe stress played a role in the crazy numbers I've been pulling this month, which was somewhat expected since the past couple of months are the most stressful of the year at work, but it's still disappointing. The major part of audit is behind me, so once I'm caught up I hope to get on a regular schedule again and focus on my immediate goal: Getting back into exercise. I've been talking about it for a while, but not acting on it, until now. So far, I'm on a 5 day workout streak and hope to keep that going! My goal is just to do -something- each day, for at least 30 minutes. I'm using my elliptical at home for now and may alternate with DVD's until I eventually join a gym -- since that's where the little one will have to take swim lessons. Since he's so small, I have to join him. Yikes!

As far as food is concerned, I'm feeling conflicted. February has been so odd, I feel like my body has adjusted to my program now. The question is--how do I solve the problem? I've been on LC for so long, I feel like it's time to add (good) carbs back in but I don't know if I can ease into it like I'm supposed to. Plus, considering that I'm not really losing anymore as it is, I'm afraid adding carbs will make that even worse. BUT, almost every bit of information I read on the subject states I should have some carbs when exercising, which leads me to thinking maybe it's time to transition to carb cycling. So confused. I don't want to give up, I just don't know where to go from here.

We'll see what the next month brings...

Last edited by br3n; 02-24-2014 at 12:44 PM..
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Old 02-25-2014, 01:06 PM   #185
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02/25 - 232.4

Still one of my bouncing numbers, but at least it's the lowest one.
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:09 PM   #186
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In a weird place right now.
Haven't really bothered updating, since my weight hasn't bothered moving and everything is pretty much the same. I ended the month at 233, still bouncing between that and 232.
Joined a gym this weekend. I say "gym", but it's more like a giant spa resort place with some exercise equipment. Slightly intimidating, but the fact that it's huge makes me feel a little better. There is so much going on, no one is paying attention to this newbie. I'm hoping this will help me move on to the next chapter, I feel stuck right now, like I'm going in circles. If nothing else, I finally have a place to swim (LOVE swimming!), they have a child care gym for the little one so it's somewhere I can take him when he just wants to play, plus a free month of swim lessons for him {the main reason I looked into a gym in the first place} and hopefully lots of summer fun ahead.

I'm in a weird place because I haven't given up but I don't feel like I'm progressing either. Where do I go from here? How do I get the scale to move again? I definitely don't want to say F it and go back to my old ways, but what do I do now? That is the question. Since I'm working out now, I've decided to add some fruits back in, and some higher carb veggies, in moderation. Right now it's as simple as that, but I may transition toward carb cycling since technically I'm still happy with LC, it just stopped giving me results. I guess this will be my experiment in March - to see if these things, paired with moderate exercise will have any effect at all. I'm hoping yes, because I really need this to work for me. I need the scale to move again. I need to get this weight off, somehow. And well, that sounds like a reasonable plan right? Good {lower carb} whole foods and some exercise... those are supposedly the keys to weight loss, or so I've been told for 20 years. I sure hope so! I'm willing to put in the effort, I just need to see some results or that part starts to get really difficult. It took me a while to get focused enough to get this first 45 lbs off. I'm still significantly overweight, but I feel so much better than I did 45 lbs ago, mentally and physically. I am not going to take that for granted.

I still plan to use my elliptical at home, in between gym days, just to maximize my workout time. But, I think getting out of the house will be good for me. I went during off-peak hours yesterday and none of the staff was there for a tour, so I just did some laps in the pool for 30 minutes, and then rested in the hot tub for 5. Aw yeah. That's a workout I can get used to. Honestly, though, I don't remember swimming being so hard. The joys of getting older... what used to be simple fun is now called a "workout." I can't wait to try some group classes, they have so many at this place, but I'll have to take baby steps to work up to those.
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Old 03-03-2014, 02:44 PM   #187
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Reading your post was very timely for me. But then, I think often times you & I share a brain It's like having a little sister around here!

I've been up & down the last week or so and a total standstill with my weight loss.. altho' now, I'm up in weight due to not really following my cycling plan whatsoever..and I can't even really tell you why. I can tell you it started with confusion over not understanding why I was steadily gaining bits & pieces despite my effort to eat clean. And then.... I just kinda let go for alittle bit. Pretty soon one day leads to another...and so on...

I've been contemplating the gym thing for about a month now.. and not really even sure what it is that I'm looking for in one to get motivated to actually join one.
I DO know that my hang-ups about feeling like I don't "belong" or don't have a right to be there, play a huge part. I'm working hard at sorting through that because logically speaking I know it's BS

Proud of you for jumping in with both feet and going for it. Good things can only come out of this! And who doesn't love swim lessons for the kiddo to boot!

Bumping into your post today was good timing. I haven't posted for days here but felt some motivation come back just reading about the changes you're making to strive for more progress. I want that too!

Keep it up girly, you're awesome!
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Old 03-04-2014, 01:03 PM   #188
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Hiya Danielle! I'm glad you stopped by. I almost didn't post since it turned into more of a vent, but here's to keeping it real! I still don't know what I'm doing, or going to do, but giving up isn't on the list either. Must do something... anything, except fall back into old habits. It's not the first or last rough patch we'll have, but... we've got this. It will happen. Dusting off, and movin' on.

Still at 232 today, but I guess it's better than 233 or 234.
I'm trying to stay away from daily weighing since it seems to be working against me at the moment, but I'm still keeping an eye on my progress to make sure it's not going in the wrong direction. Crossing my fingers that the little sucker will budge one of these days. I seem to remember being in this weight range for quite a while in my early 20's, so maybe my body is just comfortable at this weight. Apparently it's going to take some extra sweat and tears to get over this decade, but it has to happen eventually right?? I do feel like my clothes are fitting more loosely, maybe I'll check out my measurements tonight.
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Old 03-04-2014, 02:27 PM   #189
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Hey there! I was browsing through your journal and thought I'd say hi! I'm bouncing around the same weight as you at the moment, so maybe we can hate the 230s together haha.
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Old 03-05-2014, 07:06 AM   #190
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Hello, followed you from Dani's journal!

I think we so often get to this same point. I know I have. If I remember from my last journey I pushed through the scale not moving by drinking more water and didn't change my eating. I think the reason the scale quits moving for awhile is because the muscles are hanging on to extra water for repair. Keep at it, drink more water and I'm sure you will see a drop soon .
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Old 03-05-2014, 09:17 AM   #191
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Absolutely Lauren! So sick of seeing 230's, although it's much better than the 270's I started with. The scale is just toying with me now.

Thanks for the encouragement Melanie -- I have come to expect the rough days/weeks but sometimes staying patient through this process is so much easier said than done. Having basically no loss in February really threw a wrench in my goals (and my optimism!) I'll have to try your water tip, I haven't been drinking as much as I should so that could definitely be a factor!

Well...
231.8 today.
Technically a new low by a whopping .4 lbs, but it's not a 232 or a 233 so I'll take it.

I was really hoping to get to the gym today, but this crazy weather threw me off! Only in TX do you experience 4 seasons in 2 days. Brrr! I'll probably just stick it out at home with my elliptical.
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Old 03-05-2014, 10:15 AM   #192
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Hey, well, at least it's something different to look at!


Yeah, wth is up with your weather over there? I really need to ramp up my shopping and look for an ellip or a bike...might make the exercise thing that much easier for me
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Old 03-05-2014, 01:52 PM   #193
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DesertGurl View Post
Hey, well, at least it's something different to look at!

Yeah, wth is up with your weather over there? I really need to ramp up my shopping and look for an ellip or a bike...might make the exercise thing that much easier for me
I wish I knew!! I have lived in TX my entire life and can't remember it ever being this cold in March, it barely even hits the 30's in December except for a day or two - and now in March?? This cold rainy stuff is not exactly motivational, it makes me want to go home, have some warm comfort food and cuddle up on the sofa. Of course, in about a month I'll be complaining about how ridiculously hot it is. I'm hoping I won't mind so much this year now that I have a pool, er, I mean "gym" membership.

Highlight of the day: Earlier I was filling out my profile for the gym website and realized as I was putting in my weight -- I'm at 231. From 278!! That's kind of a big deal for me, and I realized I should respect it instead of trying to sabotage myself. Even if I have been stuck here for a while, I've come a long way and intend to go even further no matter how long it takes. It has been a long time {years} since I put a weight that low on anything official, or anything besides this website really, so I guess it never registered. I'm now only 32 lbs away from onederland vs. 79. I once felt hopeless, thinking the only way I would ever get this much weight off would be through surgery, but now I know I can do it. I have proven to myself that I can. And so I will.

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Old 03-05-2014, 06:25 PM   #194
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That's great! And you sure will get there! My last journey I went from 261 to 185. I never thought I would see it again! And now I'm working my way back again.
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Old 03-10-2014, 09:01 AM   #195
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Wow, that's great Melanie! I love hearing success stories, it reminds me that this process isn't as impossible as it feels sometimes.

I avoided the scale for a while, thinking SURELY it would be kind to me by now, but ... nope. Weighed this morning and got a big fat 232.0. For the 100th time. WAAAAH.

It's alright though, not letting it get me down this time. Maybe it's just a plateau, my body is protesting. But, I'm going to beat it!! One way or another. Eventually. I hit the gym for some laps on Saturday and took the little man on Sunday. He hasn't been swimming since nearly a year ago and wasn't a huge fan at the time, so I wasn't sure what to expect -- but he loved it! It was a lot of fun. He's in the phase where any time he sees other "big" kids he gets excited and just wants to do what they're doing. You should have seen the smile on his face the couple times he got a few feet ahead of me... feeling all proud! They grow up so darn fast. I'm not ready for that.

I did wander upstairs to the cardio/weights area on Saturday as well for a warm up before swimming. I was hoping I could hop on some weight machines, but was totally overwhelmed and didn't feel like looking like a fool in front of too many people. So, I wandered back over to the treadmill and bike area. I think I'm going to email them today to see if I can get a tour and maybe a training class so I don't feel so overwhelmed. I really want to get the most out of the gym, but have to get over my anxiety first.
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Old 03-10-2014, 09:08 AM   #196
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Aw, I'm sorry about the numbers! I really feel ya though....mine is being mean too!

Love that your kiddo is loving the water! So important for them to know how to swim!!!

Man, just reading about your walking up into the gym about the machines and treadmills....gave me anxiety No joke. I want so much to go and be a part of that whole experience but I get so full of anxiety that thinking about it and I just shut down. I need to work through this and get my butt somewhere so I can accomplish what I need to!!

Hang in there and keep on working your program...you are doing great!
Have you measured lately?? Maybe you're shrinking some more!!!!!
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Old 03-10-2014, 10:34 AM   #197
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Thanks D! You really should check out a gym if you've been considering it, maybe take a tour at a few and see where you feel most comfortable? I have major anxiety about it but that just makes me feel extra accomplished when I suck it up and go anyway. My brother and SIL have been a member at this one for years now, but I never had the courage. I'm glad I finally did it! I still have my moments, and think "what am I doing?" as I'm driving there, but overall it has been a positive experience and helps break up the monotony of this whole weight loss thing. I purposely go during off-peak hours so it's not quite as overwhelming, and it's a family gym so there are always people of all shapes, sizes and ages. I'm meeting with a guide tomorrow to explain how to use some of the equipment and maybe then I'll be less anxious. Getting in a swimsuit is the worst of all -- but hey, who cares -- I'm not there to impress anyone! And, I just keep telling myself that I'll be lookin' good in a few months as long as I keep going. (Haha Maybe, maybe not!) I think the best part about it is that there are so many options to 'mix it up' so it's not as boring as working out at home. You can do a few minutes on several different machines and before you know it, you just got an awesome workout. Go for it!!! No harm in checking it out, just don't let them pressure you if you're not feeling it.

I meant to measure this weekend, but can't find my tape! I'm still in the same clothes so I may not have lost much, but I feel better at least. I just wish I could figure out what's going on with the scale so I can get past it and move on. Hope you have a great week.
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Old 03-10-2014, 04:05 PM   #198
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Since the scale has been stuck for so long, I've decided to write down what I'm eating again in order to keep myself accountable and hopefully figure out the problem. After writing out todays menu, I decided to do a quick calorie count and wonder if it's possible that I'm not eating enough? Especially since I've been working out. I know we should not technically have to count calories, but they seem a little low.


B ~ Atkins Shake 160cal, 2 net carbs, 15 protein I've been using the same few Atkins products all along, so I don't think these are the issue for me.
L ~ Chipotle salad w/barbacoa, pico, sour cream, cheese, 1/4c guac 600 cal, 11.5 net carbs, 35 protein Another staple I've been eating all along, at least once a week.
D ~ Zucchini lasagne w/Italian sausage 261 cal, 12.6 net carbs, 24.4 protein I've eaten these ingredients many times along the way.
S ~ 2 cups of coffee w/2 splenda's and 2T heavy cream 50 cal, ~4 net carbs

This comes to: 1071 calories, 30 net carbs, 75g protein
The lasagna is actually a heavier splurge meal for me, usually my dinners are lighter so I'm surprised to see my day come in under 1,100 calories. I think I'll leave my basic meals alone and try adding some snacks throughout the day. I'm usually starving by the time I leave work, then have an hour commute home and another hour to prep/cook dinner.

And just for future reference, so I don't have to calculate this again:
Frigo string cheese will add 78 cal, ~1 carb, 6 protein
2 Deviled Egg Halves will add ~100 cal, ~1 carb, 7 protein
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Old 03-10-2014, 07:16 PM   #199
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Looks good to me! Could there be hidden sugars in the chipotle?
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:09 PM   #200
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Well, that's always a possibility when dining out, but probably not enough to derail me all of a sudden. I used to eat Chipotle a lot more often than I do now and sure lost a lot more weight back then. Maybe that's it -- I need to eat more Chipotle.

I'm SO nervous about my gym meeting/tour thing tonight. I actually have to talk to someone. That's a different ball game...

Today's menu:
B - atkins bar
L - 1/4 roasted chicken, white meat + 1/2c green beans + salad with ranch
S - bought some string cheese last night and forgot it :T So, coffee.
D - Not sure yet...I'll have to update this one tomorrow. Probably a take-out salad since I'll be at the gym late.

Ok, so I already see that I probably dine out too much! Everything I eat is technically ok, but they don't exactly use measuring spoons/cups when making things... so it's a risk. Maybe it's time to start packing again, I didn't even attempt it during audit season over the past 6 weeks and that's also when I stopped losing weight. Coincidence!? Maybe....maybe not. Something to think about.
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:12 PM   #201
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hi br3n, I have been reading your journal, congrats on the weight loss!

From what you just posted, looks to me like you are eating too little. I weight 186 and eat more than that, around 2000 calories. I am working out about 2hours a week and I am looking to go up to 3 hours this week. Outside of gym time I am a pretty active stay at home mom, so I am always running around cleaning, shopping or playing with my kids. My favorite workout currently is strollersize at my gym with my son. I started out doing it once a week because it was so hard, I hope I can work up to doing it 3 times a week. I just love it.

I have been losing fairly consistantly so far. I count my calories, fats, protein and carbs just to get a better picture of what I am doing. My carbs are between 30-40 grams, protein is around 100grams and I eat fat till I am satisfied which is somewhere between 100-150 grams. My hunger levels do vary from day to day but I average 2000 calories. I think it is really important to keep being consistant with that, when I tried carb cycling I would go up and down in weight and it drove me mad. I bounce a little but the trend has been downwards at least.

You have been asking, where do you go from here? I would say eat more and track everything, exercise a bit and stay the course. Personally I wouldn't eat low carb products on a regular basis, it may have worked for you in the past but...

best of luck!
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:19 PM   #202
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I would try maybe cutting out the Atkins products first and see if you see something change...it could be that you're one that doesn't process those things the same as others? Just a suggestion!

I forget, do you drink a lot of water on a consistent basis? If not, try that too...could be maybe you just need some help flushing things out. Again, only a suggestion!!

I think you're doing pretty fantastic! Working full-time and being a mommy, I dunno how you don't eat out all day/every day! Take it easy on yourself and know that you are doing wonderful with the choices you are making. Try making small changes and see if that's all it takes...it may not be as drastic as you're thinking.

Good luck at the gym tonight, I will be thinking about you!
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Old 03-12-2014, 01:09 PM   #203
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Hi Wish! Thanks for stopping by & thanks for the suggestions ladies! I'm going to spend some time this weekend really examining my foods and come up with a meal plan, so every day isn't on-the-go as it has been since busy season started. I'm also going to make some mini-quiche muffins for breakfast next week so I can lay off the Atkins bars. They're just so darn convenient, but I guess convenience is why I'm in the shape I'm in to begin with! All I know is: my birthday is in 6 weeks and I'm nowhere near my goal!!!

Danielle, I have been slacking on my water intake lately. I actually enjoy drinking it and feel better when I do, but when I'm swamped at work I make less (read: zero) trips to the water cooler. One of my goals is to fit in one or two snacks a day, so as long as I refill my giant cup at those times I should be back on track.

As of today, I officially "hit the button" on all 2013 related work, and the audits are officially over with, so I can finally move on and join the rest of the world in 2014. It's amazing how much of an impact everyday stress can have on us and the past 6 weeks are solid proof of that. Glad it's over with.

The gym meeting went well yesterday, it turns out I had more freebies and perks that I didn't even know about. I'm scheduled for a "health score" evaluation on Saturday. (Good thing I've lost 45 lbs!!) HA! Lil nervous about that part, they do weight, cholesterol, blood pressure, body fat % (ugh!) and a few other things...I'm not looking forward to facing the facts, but, it's all good information to have, so I'll suck it up and go. After my meeting I did laps for 45 minutes and decided that swimming is definitely my favorite exercise. I was moving the entire time but it felt more like relaxation/play time than a stinkin' workout. Hopefully that means I will keep going. I'm still not fond of being in a swimsuit in public, but aside from a 30 second walk to the pool I'm pretty much covered by water the entire time.

So, for now: it's back to the basics -- Atkins, dine out less, increase water, keep exercising. Surely this darn scale will budge.
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Old 03-13-2014, 07:49 PM   #204
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231.0 today. Now I know it's just toying with me! Would it have been soo hard Mr. Scale to at least show me a 230.8?

Kidding aside, I'm feeling much better. My stress levels are back to normal, which is still relatively high but not off-the-charts like the first two months of the year. I've been 100% on plan, drinking more water, AND... drumroll:

I took my first group fitness class!!! And survived!!! More on that tomorrow..... I'm soooo tired.
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Old 03-13-2014, 07:52 PM   #205
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Yay!!! First ever group fitness class?

I'm going to zumba in the morning first time in almost a year.
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Old 03-14-2014, 04:49 AM   #206
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That's awesome!! I've never taken a group fitness class. I get super anxious and self conscious haha. Good for you!
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Old 03-14-2014, 07:43 AM   #207
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Proud of you! Pretty soon we won't be able to keep you from skipping classes and going to the gym!
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Old 03-14-2014, 11:49 AM   #208
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229.6 today!! Yay!! Finally broke the plateau & at a new low! I'm sure it will still bounce, but it's refreshing to see something other than 231/232. My anniversary is April 4th, it would be nice to be at my wedding weight of 226 by then. On paper it's doable, but judging by the past 2 months I'm not holding my breath! Once I reach that weight, it will also be the lowest I have been in at least 8 years. That's kind of awesome.

Melanie ~ Yes! My first group class, ever. And I loved it! Zumba looks fun, but I'm sure they would laugh me right out of there with my two left feet and total lack of coordination.

Lauren ~ I'm very self-conscious and anxious as well, which is why I chose to start with water aerobics! I was totally hidden in water the whole time, except for the walk to the locker room.

Danielle ~ Thanks! I really can't believe I did it. It's one of those things that I always think about or talk about and never do because I get too anxious when it comes down to it. But, I did it! and really enjoyed it!


I thought it would be pretty easy, but I definitely got a workout and a fun one at that! They provide resistance bands and water weights to make it a bit more difficult. It lasted an hour, which flew by because we are moving the whole time and the exercises change with each song. I'm not ready to try the other classes -- but would like to eventually. I'm going to save those for after I lose more weight and need to kick it up a bit. They offer pretty much everything, so there's a lot of variety. I would love to do yoga, but I tried some at home a few weeks ago and apparently my back is messed up because I was in excruciating pain the whole time for 90% of the poses. I would be so embarrassed if I had to leave the class after the first 2 minutes! I should probably visit a chiropractor, but I've heard just as many negative things about them as positive...so I'm a little torn.

I feel like I'm finally back on track with my eating & water intake. I added more healthy fats which also added some calories, I also eliminated all unnecessary and most artificial foods -- like the Atkins bars, saving them for an occasional treat and not as a daily breakfast. Instead, I made some sausage, egg & cheese muffins that I can pop in the microwave and voila! Just as quick as grabbing a bar.

Another week down ladies!! TGIF!
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Old 03-14-2014, 12:13 PM   #209
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Yayyyy, Bren! Go you!! That's awesome. Makes me want to try it out! I know I'm not ready right now, but maybe that's something I could look into in the future.
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Old 03-17-2014, 08:29 AM   #210
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Thanks! I would definitely recommend trying it out.
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