Low Carb Friends  
Netrition.com - Tools - Reviews - Faces - Recipes - Home


Go Back   Low Carb Friends > Inspiration and Wisdom > Weight Loss Journals
Register FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-06-2014, 11:31 AM   #361
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
223.4

223.4 today. Not as low as yesterday, but I'm sticking with my plan to go by Friday's number.

Finally, I feel like my determination (ok, stubbornness) is paying off. It may not be much, but I think I can say I'm firmly in the lower 220's now and have lost 55 lbs. Sloooowly but surely. I hope I have finally figured this mess out and can start losing consistently again. Even if it's 1 lb here and there, as long as it's something, I'll be thrilled. The only thing I've changed this month is to make sure I eat enough calories once my workout is factored in and it seems to work for me. Eating 1,200 calories & working out just stalled me like crazy.

I honestly can't believe how much time has passed already. I just realized that in 3 & 1/2 months it will be my 1 year anniversary since diving head first, completely unprepared, into what has become this life changing journey. I plan to stay as on-track as possible during vacation, without being too restrictive, but when I return it's back to 110%. I've learned my lesson to not set any specific number goals, but I will continue to devote myself to this process and make the most of the next 3 months.


Now I just have to hope I survive this vacation. I'm feeling less anxiety today, but we'll see how it goes when it's time to get on the plane. Yikes.

Valar Morghulis. But hopefully not yet!
__________________
- Bren -
278/224/158

:: My Journal ::




Don't give up what you want most, for what you want right now.
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote

Sponsored Links
Old 06-10-2014, 08:52 AM   #362
Blabbermouth!!!
 
DesertGurl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 7,385
Gallery: DesertGurl
Start Date: 8/22/14
I hope you're having fun on your adventure!!!! Can't wait to hear all about all the fun things you tried.
DesertGurl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2014, 01:36 PM   #363
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
Hi Dani! Good to hear from you! We had a ton of fun...!!! but...

Oh, good grief.

I definitely threw my eating rules out the window on vacation. Not necessarily because I wanted to eat junk, but because it was primarily a road trip and sadly, 99% of the food available on the road is junk. And the included continental breakfasts? Disaster. Stale carbs, crispy carbs, fluffy carbs, creamy carbs, oh, did I mention carbs? I made some decent choices along the way, so they weren't all bad-- jerky, nuts, LC bars, but there were some definite bad ones mixed in there. {Like the best nachos on the planet.}

Sooo, that stubborn weight I worked so hard to get off these past couple months has returned and I have to start over. Thankfully I am not back to the 230's (I would totally pull my hair out!) but too close for comfort. As of this morning I am back to induction, I'm thinking now would be a good time to transition to cycling since that's the next route I want to take. I just need to squeeze in some time to read the rest of Chris Powell's book to get all of the rules down and make sure that's what I want to try.

Despite all that, I did a ton of walking/hiking/climbing, we stayed super busy. I even climbed a mountain! If I had known it was that intense I probably wouldn't have attempted--but I am SO glad I did!!!

Overall, we had lots of fun and stayed very active. I guess I thought I could get away with eating a few naughty things since we did get so much exercise, BUT, lesson learned! The good news is, I'm not a carb-craving maniac. I always fear that a few carbs will send me spiraling back to my old habits--but nope. Now that I'm home I'm comfortable in my routine, and even looking forward to getting back on track. I just hope the weight isn't as hard to get off the 2nd time around.....





My view once I got to the top...

Pictures do it no justice, but it was amazing! Colorado is a breathtaking, beautiful, place.

Can't wait for our next adventure.
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2014, 08:47 AM   #364
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
struggling to get back into my groove. I was running like a well-oiled machine before my vacation and now? Meh....

I'm still going to my classes, but haven't put in any extra cardio at home and my meals have consisted more of bars and shakes than real food. I had a very lazy weekend and feel like I accomplished nothing. It's not a good feeling and I can't wait to get moving again. I'm cutting myself a little slack since we never got a chance to rest from our very busy vacation, we went straight back to work the day after our flight came in, so this weekend was my first chance to actually rest and get some sleep.

My 1 year "fitiversary" is in 3 months, if that's not motivation to get my butt back on track, I don't know what is. Considering I lost 50 lbs in the first 6 months or so, I'll be really bummed if I'm still at 50 lbs in a year. I would love to reach 75 but I know that's a major stretch with the way I lose weight, so I'm going to forget about the scale and make sure I'm putting in 100%. That's all I can do...

Reaffirming my goals:
  • Get back to logging my food
  • Making sure I'm eating enough, but not too much
  • Working out for at least 30 minutes a day
  • Drink at least 100 oz of water
  • Take my vitamins daily

Maybe the weight will come off, maybe it wont. But one thing is for sure... I FEEL good doing this. Since I've been off track for a week or so I can really tell a difference in the way I feel and I don't like it one bit!

So, here goes nothin'...
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2014, 11:56 AM   #365
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
Still tip-toeing along...

Technically doing fine as far as food goes and sticking to what I consider my "mandatory" workouts 3x a week. But, I'm still having trouble kicking it up a notch to workout every night which is my ultimate goal in order to give myself a boost and lose as much as possible in the next 3 months. I know all too well how 3 months becomes 2 months then TIMES UP. Well, time is never really up, as long as I'm breathing, but a one year milestone......... that is huge for me, simply unheard of, and I want to make the most of it.

Once I get rolling, I seem to do well, the tricky party is getting started in the first place. I can't get motivated to workout at home. Seeing my sweet baby's face after a long day at work makes it impossible to do anything other than spend those few precious hours before bedtime with him. I suppose I should figure out what it takes to become a morning person... (ugh!)

This is going to be tough! The first step is acknowledging that and accepting the challenge.

Done.
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-30-2014, 08:26 AM   #366
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
Still floating around in the 220's... 222-225 lately, pretty much the entire month of June. I'd like to be able to say it doesn't bother me, but my actions prove otherwise. When I get frustrated I tend to start sabotaging myself with the "I'm not losing anyway, so I might as well eat a cookie (or 5)" mentality. Which leads to the "Well, I already ruined my day with cookies, so I might as well eat this ______." Fortunately, I burnt the toast I intended to eat, so it ended with the cookies--but, what a mess. I ended up not eating dinner at all purely out of guilt.

Today, I'm back on track, cutting carbs to induction levels to attempt to cancel the damage from yesterday, but I really need to get a grip or I'm just going to end up going in circles. If I've learned one thing over the past couple of decades it's that 70% doesn't cut it. It's even more frustrating to eat right and exercise M-F, only to cancel it out across a day or two and then wonder why nothing is happening. That might work for some people, or even during maintenance, but if I want to get this weight off for good I need to pull myself together, focus, and get back to 100%.

That being said, I do feel like I've truly come such a long way, to the point where I don't beat myself up over having a slice of pizza or a piece of cake at a birthday party once in a great while, as that is a perfectly normal thing to do when it comes to long-term eating habits, but at the same time, yesterday there was simply no excuse. That was undeniably, a blatant act of emotionally driven self-sabotage which is what drove me to needing to lose 120 lbs to begin with. My sons 2nd birthday is coming up so I've been stressed planning it, and trying to decide whether I'll make a cake or buy one. I decided to buy the ingredients to do a trial run, and after passing by them 100 times over the weekend I made... cookies! Not even a dang cake.

Anyway, I'm acknowledging my moment of weakness, and the fact that I feel like crap about it, in hopes this will help prevent it next time, or at least give me the will to think twice about it and ask myself what I'm really doing. I think staring at all of the chocolate birthday cakes on Pinterest for a week is partially to blame and is what caused me to want to bake in the first place. I've been really proud of myself over the past 9 months because of the will-power I've demonstrated, but at the same time I feel bad now because I thought I was beyond that behavior and obviously I'm not. I have to wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I have allowed more carbs in my diet lately.. especially in the form of fruits, which may be triggering cravings for other sweets now.

Only time will tell I guess.

One more day left of June, here's to a fresh start in July!
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-01-2014, 03:19 PM   #367
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
I suppose there is an upside to my little carb binge. I am being reminded now how unbelievably frustrating cravings are. I had this under control for months, I was 100% in control for the first time in my life. I could easily make the right choice no matter what was in front of me and not give it a second thought. I definitely took that for granted, I miss it. I want it back. I can see clearly now the issues I had before and denied -- the constant nagging feeling in the back of my mind any time I'm near food is unbearable! I've never understood smokers, alcoholics, or drug addicts, the ones who are miserable but just won't quit........ I guess I get it now. I've never considered myself an addict, but to have an inner dialogue with myself, and feel actual remorse & regret, as I'm standing in line absently ordering salad while thinking about how delicious and creamy the macaroni looks? The little devil on my shoulder telling me to just order it already. This is BIZARRE behavior, only overshadowed by the feeling of dread and disappointment as I sit down with my salad that I didn't really want to begin with. Oh yes. It's real. I can't explain it and I would probably think someone else was batpoo crazy for describing this, if I had never experienced it myself.

It really makes me wonder what's going on in our minds, our bodies, that we don't know much about. With the billions of dollars people sink into the weight loss industry, has anyone even touched the surface scientifically? Is this mindset, this thought process, this behavior something we're born with, or learned behavior? The fact that low carb genuinely helped me break through the behavior makes me think: no. So then, is it some kind of imbalance in the brain or body? A chemical reaction of sugars?

I guess most low carb advocates touch on this to some degree, hence why the program was started to begin with, but there are so many questions that remain unanswered.

all I know is how I felt before (awesome, in control) and how I feel now (like a helpless loser who can't fight off a craving for mac n' cheese.) For months I felt like I was strong enough to have the occasional treat, because I did, successfully and got right back on track. But this time has been so tough. I feel like history is just repeating itself, over and over again. So, now, I'm trying to figure out if it was truly the cookie binge that set me back, or was it something mental or emotional that happened even before the cookie binge?

I can't give up now. I can't let go.

Off to hydro... I know that always helps combat the cravings. I work too hard to burn those measly 400 calories, that can be eaten in a couple bites of macaroni. Sheesh.

I think I've just been stressed and a little bummed lately, too much going on in my head to properly focus. Time to get a grip. I have so many amazing things going on in my life, I just need to stay focused on the right things and stop sweatin' the small stuff. It's really dragging me down!

Until next time...

Last edited by br3n; 07-01-2014 at 03:21 PM..
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-02-2014, 12:23 PM   #368
Senior LCF Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: SoCal
Posts: 76
Gallery: bubbles1234
WOE: Low Carb
You can do it Bren, you have come so far!
bubbles1234 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-07-2014, 01:01 PM   #369
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
Thanks Bubbles! I'm hanging in there.

Summer is really slowing my progress down (even more than it already was) with vacation, holidays, birthdays, etc around every corner, but hopefully things will settle down after my son's birthday party this weekend and then I can refocus. I've been insanely busy and distracted lately, which is not helping my situation. I'd say I'm still on plan most days, so it's not a total loss, I'm just at a weird place right now... a crossroads. There is a lot of mental chaos that comes with being busy and stressed, my eating habits and exercise are 2nd nature now, but they're also becoming 2nd thoughts rather than priorities as they were before, which is dangerous territory considering I still have 70ish lbs to go. IE> Accidentally oversleeping and missing my Saturday class for the first time since I started going in March. I really need to get my focus back, get back to 100%, before I fall off completely...

My son's party is this weekend and I'll likely take part in a few things like a burger and sangria, but then it's back to the grind for me...before summer is over and a total bust. I have to admit I'm a little disappointed. I can't believe 9 months have passed.. sure, I'm down 50ish lbs, but I lost that in the first 4-5 months doing extreme low carb. I feel disappointed when I remember that I still have 70-80 lbs to go and I'm losing at a snails pace. Or when I see these success stories about people who lost the 120 lbs I needed to in only 9 months or a year. I really did give the past 9 months 100%... gym and all...so why not me?

Will I ever get it off...?

Well, definitely not if I don't focus.

And hey, the time will pass anyway right... it's not a race.

Last edited by br3n; 07-07-2014 at 01:13 PM..
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2014, 01:22 PM   #370
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
Sometimes when it gets tough, the best thing we can do for ourselves is remember why we started this in the first place... to remember where we were at that very moment, and take the time to appreciate where we are today -- mentally, physically, emotionally; even if it's not where we expected to be.


Time to start making some progress again.

br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2014, 11:47 AM   #371
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
When I went to the gym yesterday I noticed posters announcing the Fall "90 Day Challenge." I was a little disappointed that I missed registration for the Spring one since I signed up at the end of February, but yet I sat here attempting to make excuses as to why I can't or shouldn't join the Fall one. All total crap -- in fact, I think it's just what I need right now to regain my focus so I took the leap and registered before I could talk myself out of it. There is a $10,000 prize for the national male and female winners, and also some kind of smaller prize pack for each location's winners. Will I win $10,000? Highly unlikely--will I win my health, well-being, happiness while possibly breaking in to ONEderland? Very likely! I am so sick of hovering in the 220's, just like I did in the 230's for MONTHS. I'm doing fine, but that's just it-- I'm getting by! Doing the bare minimum to maintain my loss, or lose 1 lb. If I'm honest with myself, I know this won't get me where I need to be. The big bold truth is -- it's not enough, because I'm NOT giving it my all. When I first started this journey last September, I only had one solid goal -- one promise to myself -- that I would give this process one year without giving up. Oh, I've had my ups and downs, my days where I'm barely hanging on by a thread -- but I haven't given up. I'm going to take the same approach again and finish out the year strong-- I'm going to promise to give it my all for 90 days. I genuinely want to see what I can accomplish in that time, when I REALLY apply myself.

The challenge doesn't start until August 2nd, so I have time to work through my issues and pull myself together by then. It's also a perfect time for this, because most family birthdays and holidays will be over, leaving minimal temptation. Plus, my 1 year weight-loss-iversary will be right in the middle--September 19th. So -- August, September, October -- challenge accepted.
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-2014, 10:30 AM   #372
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
224

Still kickin' ... Still bouncing between the same 5 lbs that I've been battling all summer. I'm hopeful that I'm losing inches,I at least feel like my body is changing shape. I feel more comfortable in my skin, more confident, stronger. The 90 Day Challenge/Team Weight Loss is going ok. I miss my hydro peeps a lot-- I actually teared up when I found out I had to scratch my Thursday class, I just love that trainer. He's also a run coach, but I don't think I'm ready for that. As far as weight loss goes, I was hoping this TWL thing would give me a boost, but even with the heavier training it looks like I'm still stuck in the same cycle as always... down 2, up 3, down 3, up 2.

Frustrating beyond words, but I refuse to give up.


Last edited by br3n; 08-15-2014 at 10:35 AM..
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-25-2014, 09:23 AM   #373
Blabbermouth!!!
 
DesertGurl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 7,385
Gallery: DesertGurl
Start Date: 8/22/14
Hey stranger, how's things?!
DesertGurl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2014, 01:48 PM   #374
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
I try to keep this a positive place. I drop by every now and then, write a long drawn out pity-party post, then delete it and go on about my day. I always intended for this to be a positive journal. A place to document my happy moments, my successes, however big or small so that I could look back to see how far I've come when I needed a boost, and maybe one day when I reached goal, I could reflect on the whole (long) process, with pictures and measurements along the way. I just knew this was it. My turn. Hundreds of articles, books, tv shows said that if I just buckled down and did what I was "supposed" to, the weight would just melt off. So I tapped into my soul, dug as deep as I could, and gave it my all.

Which, it turns out, is obviously not enough.

The truth is, bad days are going to be part of the journey. Weeks even. I accepted that early on. But at this point: months of nada. I feel like I hit a brick wall, 6 months ago, and haven't budged since. The absolute worst part is that I haven't even given up yet. Ok, so that sentence didn't come out right. I guess what I really meant is I would expect no loss if I had given up...but I haven't. I track my calories, the majority of my foods are still low carb except a few pieces of fruit and maybe a weekly potato or sweet potato, I amped my workouts from bouncing around in a pool to killer personal training 3x a week + extra jogs, yoga, or JM videos at home. I just knew that would do the trick....

until it didn't.

I honestly don't know where to go from here and I think that in itself is what has me so bummed lately. I just want to cry and yell to the entire world that it's not fair. But I'll spare you the Veruca Salt act. For the first time in my life, I'm willing to do whatever I need to do...but I don't know what that is anymore. In the past, when one thing stopped working, I'd just try plan b..c..d, except now I'm out of plans, I've tried it all. At the same time, I'm not ready to give up. I want this so bad. I just wish I knew what to do. I read tons of success stories and articles about people who found a simple plan, stuck to it, and melted like snowmen. I just want to find my groove and get where I need to be.

The top of this thread shows my weight nearly 3 months ago, pretty much at the same number it is right now. It goes up 2 lbs, down 4, up 3, and so on...

I've kept my chin up and pushed on for months and months and months....
but at what point is enough enough?

The only thing keeping me going right now is that I do at least feel healthier and stronger. I can definitely see improvement at the gym from week to week. Not to mention the hefty fee for the training. I guess it's a good thing I made the commitment because I sure feel like sitting on my couch and pouting these days.

As far as food goes, I just don't know anymore...

Induction level low carb stopped working, so I cut calories, then it really stalled, so I added calories, then I added fruits and potatoes, then I cut carbs again, I counted every calorie--increased them; decreased them. Bought a friggin food scale just to double check them. I'm at a loss.

I realize this will be slow....but I need something... a pound..two pounds.. anything.

Because...this is total bull*****.

There, I said it, now I feel better.

LOL... *sigh* off to figure out plans X, Y and Z.

Last edited by br3n; 08-26-2014 at 01:51 PM..
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2014, 02:01 PM   #375
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
Hi Dani!! Good to hear from you! Things are ok for the most part, not so much with regards to weight loss, as you can probably tell from my angsty post above, haha! I just need to take a deep breath and regroup before I let "the process" beat me down. I can't believe it has been almost a year on LCF...even though the latter half has been a total bust. Thanks for being there for me along the way!! I hope to see you around more often, just know you are missed.
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2014, 02:06 PM   #376
Blabbermouth!!!
 
DesertGurl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 7,385
Gallery: DesertGurl
Start Date: 8/22/14
Girl, all I can say is how incredibly inspired I am by your relentless effort at making this work. Truly motivating.

Have you talked to your doctor? I mean, maybe it's something hormonal and totally beyond your control at this point. I think maybe trying that route and having him/her run some tests to just make sure everything is on the up & up. KWIM?

I know I keep saying it, but hang in there. You ARE doing such great things for your body and setting an amazing example for your kiddo. I'm willing to bet that a doctor will have some answers for you, and at least help you to understand that this isn't your fault and something more than likely needs tweaking.

So happy to see you today. I'm with ya every step of the way
__________________
Danielle

My Journal:
♥Choose More, Lose More....Aventures In Carb-Cycling.......♥



"Belief gives you the power to achieve the extraordinary" ~Chris Powell
DesertGurl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-2014, 02:53 PM   #377
Senior LCF Member
 
br3n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 428
Gallery: br3n
Stats: 278/224/158
WOE: 20-30 carbs per day
Start Date: 09/19/13
Thanks! I'm honestly shocked that I've persevered this long (we all know it's just the stubbornness taking over) especially considering that things are not going so well.

I definitely plan to go to the doctor. I haven't been since last August, before I ever started a weight loss plan. I think they'll be happy to see that I've lost some weight, I just hope they don't give me the "eat less, move more" speech.
br3n is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:04 AM.


Copyright ©1999-2014 Friends Forums LLC. All rights reserved. - Terms of Service | Privacy Policy
LowCarbFriends® is a registered mark of Friends Forums, LLC.