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Old 04-10-2014, 07:28 AM   #301
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I hope they don't cancel your class either!!! That would be really awful....in which case, you would HAVE to run it

Ha! Just like a lil kid, you are!!!
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Old 04-10-2014, 07:50 AM   #302
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Gooood morning LCF!
I feel good today. Woke up early, started getting a few things ready to pack, took care of my kiddo, rolled the windows down & turned the music up on my way in to work. It's a great day...

I actually didn't weigh today, but the fact that LC doesn't seem to be working for me any longer is still on my mind. So, here I sit, scouring the interwebs for any little nugget of advice as to where to go from here. Losing 12 lbs in the past 12-14 weeks, while keeping carbs low, calories low, and exercise consistent, is just bizarre to me. It's better than nothing, sure, but at this rate I won't get the weight off until 2 years from now, even being 100% compliant and working out. With 70-80 lbs to go, something about that just doesn't seem right...

I really enjoy the LC way of eating, so I'm sad that it doesn't seem to be working out for me anymore. One thing I do know is that I refuse to go back to eating heaping bowls of pasta, loaves of bread and bowls of chips. Right now I'm kicking around a couple of ideas and doing some research, I'm just not sure which one I'll venture toward first. a) Carb Cycling - if I broke my metabolism, I'm hoping this could help me reset it or b) Low carb paleo - I'm thinking maybe adding a few more healthy carbs at this point could be beneficial, and hopefully won't send me off on a pasta binge. I'm just really nervous to try anything different in fear that I could regain weight and/or lose the impressive control that I have gained over the past several months. That is the last thing I want. But, getting this fat off is the first thing I want, so I think it's time to give some serious thought to Plan B. I'll just have to be very careful about it.

Two more days of work until vacation!!!! I'm staying busy so the days will go by faster. So excited!
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Old 04-10-2014, 07:54 AM   #303
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Well, my metabolism is broke and cycling hasn't fixed it...so....... maybe you're experience will be different?

Maybe try cutting out dairy for a bit and see if that gets things moving?

I wish I hadn't weighed today but it's my official weigh-day so I did it... I'm mad at my scale right now, we're fighting.. he's being mean & abusive despite all the kind and wonderful things I'm doing for him...
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:00 AM   #304
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I admit it, I am!

D~ it would be awful! I haven't been swimming laps much anymore because I like the class better, plus it's structured so it keeps me on a schedule. Apparently I need that in my life. If they pulled the plug, I would be showing up to teach it whether they hired me to or not.

"Who's the crazy lady in the pool?"


Yeah, I'm not sure what Plan B is yet, but I think it's officially time to try something. Anything. There is supposedly a "metabolism" diet out there, but at a glance it just seems like another yo-yo gimmick. I'll have to do more research. I like the paleo approach, even for long term, because how can you go wrong eating whole foods? I'm just not sure how it will effect weight loss, as that is my focus right now.

I may try to cut dairy, I haven't yet because I don't consume much as it is except in the form of a little cheese... oh man, that's going to be hard!! But, maybe I'll give it a week or two.

Sorry your scale is being a turd today-- hopefully it will turn around soon!

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Old 04-11-2014, 01:36 PM   #305
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4/11 - 227

Still stuck, but the good news is that I have finally devised a plan. Well, I should use that term loosely--it's more like a worthy experiment.

After tracking on a website pretty solidly, I see that my calories are consistently between 1,000 - 1,400 calories, usually at the lower range. The 1,400 day is when I purposely splurged on a big fat ribeye hoping the calorie spike would inspire my body to release some fat. Nada. My calories have been low enough to allow for weight loss, but high enough to prevent starvation mode, and my carbs have been well under 50g a day, averaging between 20-30. Yet, no weight loss is happening. So....there's definitely something weird going on. Maybe hormonal? Maybe metabolism? Maybe I'm broken from years of yoyo diets? Maybe my body just refuses to let go? Not sure. So, here it is:

Experiment #1:
Add healthy carbs like fruit, carrots & sweet potatoes on my workout days, up to 100g carbs per day. I figure I don't have much to lose by trying, since the scale hasn't been going down anyway. I'll just keep a close eye on it to watch out for any outrageous gains.

The whole "adding" food concept scares me and goes against everything I've ever read, which is why I haven't really gone down that road yet. However, this seems like a perfectly acceptable experiment that mimics the way I'd like to eat long term anyway. I've read about carb-loading "cheat days" working miracles for some people, but I'm just not comfortable on a mental level purposely shoving junk food down my throat when I've worked so hard to break my bad habits and cravings for those exact things. I don't think I'm ready for that. But, with this plan, I hope the simple whole-food carb choices will help keep me from going into a carb frenzy.

Now, here's to hoping I still have that mentality on my vacation this weekend, when I'm staring funnel cakes in the face.

Have a great weekend everyone!
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Old 04-11-2014, 02:47 PM   #306
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I can't wait to see how this works for you!

My understanding for carb loading was that it was not supposed to be about junk food per se, but about high volume of complex carbs? Seems like that's kinda what you're aiming for, especially if you'll be using them to fuel your workouts... this is all very good news!

At any rate, just keep that measuring tape handy and see what happens there.. I say, screw the scale If mine weren't new and been kinda spendy, I think I might actually consider running it over in the driveway

Have a great time!!
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:23 PM   #307
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I totally understand! I thought about investing in the wifi scale that sends the data to M-F-P automatically, but that would be one expensive coaster. Then, I thought, hey -- what if I put tape over the number and only look at my data after the month is over??? Yeah, I have a way of trying to justify everything. I love having the daily data in the long run, but I hate seeing it daily, if that makes sense.

Thanks, I'm excited to try this! I guess that's part of the issue-- that everyone's definition of the cheat day/carb-loading/high carb day is different. Some people do it every 5 days, some people do it only once a month, some do it anywhere in between there. Some people just flat out eat whatever they want and have success, others are very specific. That's why it has been so hard to figure out what my next step will be. We'll see what happens! It still seems healthy, at least, which fits into my long term goals.

I've noticed that I've been really tired and exhausted lately, which is something I never experienced on LC before now, plus a wonky cycle over the past month or two, and minimal weight loss. I'm afraid I'm going to burn out on my WA class if I keep forcing myself to go when I feel like this, so I'm hoping my plan will help that issue as well. Taking all of that into consideration was my primary reasoning in choosing a) to add some carbs back in, b) on workout days c) only "safe" carbs, which I'm hoping will keep the cravings in check. If I go off convincing myself that I can eat fries and ice cream, we may have a problem.

I honestly have no idea what will happen, but I need to try something, anything, for peace of mind if nothing else. I'm over the scale (for now), my biggest concern would be if I start to gain and don't realize it because I'm not weighing. I would be devastated to pop on there a month later and realize I've gained a massive amount of weight back. But, I'm thinking my clothes would tell me if that were the case.

I think I'm just going to let go and see what happens...
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:32 PM   #308
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Well, if I can let go, so can you Seriously never saw myself as someone who would say that I am only going to weigh once a month NEVER.

If you're noticing changes in your cycles and feeling tired, it sounds hormonal to me Maybe talk to your doc?

I used to think having a ton of daily info was crucial to my success, or "just because"...now I'm in the mode of, "I don't care what it says" Does that make me a slacker? I'm just tired of the game, I guess? I KNOW I'm eating right, and definitely drinking tons of pure water, and even incorporated exercise...something's gotta give. Instead of obsessing I'm just believing in the process for awhile. If I don't see any type of change at all, scale, measurements, clothing, nothing...then I'll know I need a visit to the doc
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Old 04-15-2014, 12:45 PM   #309
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Well, I updated yesterday and lost the whole thing... so I'll keep it short.

Danielle~ You are so right about that!! It's a great feeling to no longer be dependent on the scale, but until I get myself out of this rut I'm afraid to stop looking. I don't want to get on there a month later and realize I gained 10 lbs from adding a few bananas.

The vacation was a lot of fun! It was great to finally get away and my LO had the time of his life at the water park. Lots of great memories and quality family time.


Today is my water aerobics class, which means it's the first day of my experiment to add some carbs. And I feel like complete crap so far. I'm still uneasy about the idea of straying from my current plan, but the stall is killing me so I'm up for anything.

B~ Strawberry banana smoothie: 140 cal, 17 net carbs, 3 fat
L~ Salad at Chipotle, my usual - no rice or beans
D~ Not sure yet, but I've penciled in a sweet potato

So,for today, the carbs I added were 1/2 a banana for breakfast (rethinking that after feeling hungry all day!) and 1 small sweet potato after my workout. Nothing crazy, but we'll see if it makes a difference.
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Old 04-16-2014, 07:02 AM   #310
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I totally understand why you want to keep doing it. Heck, I've been getting on mine the last couple days just to try and gauge if anything is happening...

I'm so glad that your trip was a success! It's nice that you got to get away as a family and spend extra time with the kiddo

You felt like crap after adding half of a banana? That's so strange! I hope you felt better as the day went on, that's no way to be Did you actually follow through with the potato?
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Old 04-16-2014, 08:56 AM   #311
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Isn't that crazy about the banana?? I don't know if it was because it has been so long since I've had fruit or what, but it just made me feel unbelievably hungry and I kept checking the clock to see if it was lunch time yet. The smoothie was just 1/2 banana, 3 strawberries, 1/2 scoop of LC protein, and almond milk. I thought maybe it was in my head but nope, my tummy was literally rumbling! That's how I used to feel all the time, but it went away when I cut the carbs. I do not miss that! Now that I'm looking at my tracker, I wonder if it's not necessarily the 1/2 banana itself, but maybe the ratio: 21 carbs/9 protein/3 fat. I'll have to experiment some more and see if adding something like an egg would help balance it out.

I kind of expected to have a little more energy throughout the day, but didn't. So, right now I'm thinking maybe I'll save my carby foods for after workouts only. I did have the sweet potato! And it was delish. I actually only had half and split it with DH. I guess I'm trying to ease myself into this while I make sure it's something I really want to do. I don't want to go all-in at once and lose the control I finally gained. The good news is that I feel pretty good today. My dinner was more balanced than breakfast, with plenty of protein, veggies and fat to go along with the sweet potato. It also felt good to get back to my work out! I never thought I would say that, but missing my Saturday class had me huffing and puffing in the first 5 minutes last night. That'll teach me to take a 4 day break. Of course, I walked for about 16 hours over the weekend on vacation, so I did get some exercise.


Overall, I came in at 50 net carbs with the addition of 1/2 banana and 1/2 sweet potato, but I'm not sold on carbs first thing in the morning. I'll have to experiment with that some more.

This is kind of fun, but would be even more fun if the scale would budge!

On that note, I'm at 228 today, still bouncing. I'm going to be more consistent about tracking every morsel I eat or drink, every single day, because I've thought about seeing a dietician if the scale doesn't start moving and I need some proof or no one will believe me. Putting carbs aside completely, I'm still baffled that I can eat between 1100-1400 calories a day, work out for an hour 3x a week + have active weekends, and not lose a single pound. I'm sorry but that is nuts for someone who has as much weight to lose as I do. DH tried to give me a pep talk, and said "Well I'm sure it's still better for your heart & health!" which is true; I enjoy what I'm eating and I enjoy my workouts so I'm not implying that I'll quit, but it's beyond frustrating because I.want.the.weight.off. He gets it. We eat all 3 meals together, so he sees exactly what I eat, my portion sizes, etc. & he doesn't really understand whats going on either. But we can both attest that calories in vs calories out is clearly total crap.

Despite my frustration, I am more determined than ever to figure this out... one way or another. One day at a time.

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Old 04-16-2014, 09:38 AM   #312
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You're doing soooo good and being so patient, I hope your patience is rewarded soon! I'm sorry you're going through this super frustrating time. I feel for you (I'm sure we all have been there)! Are your measurements moving at all even though the scale's being a punk?
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Old 04-16-2014, 09:47 AM   #313
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We are in the same place, completely. I really am right there with you.

If you decide to go the dietician route, be sure to find someone who actually believes in the low carb lifestyle and what it offers.... they are taught the whole schpiel of the food pyramid still. It was SO frustrating when I was in school and I took those nutrition classes...I wrote several papers on Atkins, general low carb and the fundamentals and importance of implementing a lifestyle like this... nobody got it.. they all thought I was crazy, including my professor.. We also had to do a 3 month tracking journal of a plan of our choosing and track weightloss, exercise, food, etc... this was when I'd committed to Atkins year before last... she thought it "interesting" but wasn't buying into it. Annoying!

And now that I think of it, the one route you will get someone who "may" get it, is someone who specializes in gluten-free eating.. The dietician DD17 was set up with from her gastro doc (who is paleo himself) totally understood my reasoning behind low carb eating... just a thought..

I would suggest the higher carb stuff saved for before your workouts.. it will help you.

We'll get it figured out. No giving up!
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Old 04-16-2014, 10:53 AM   #314
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Hey Lauren ~ Thanks. It's tough but I'm hanging in there! Fortunately, I feel better on this WOE, so that's one reason to stick to it. My measurements have been fine so far, consistently down. I just try not to measure too often since it takes so long to see any material differences on the tape.

Danielle - no doubt! I will definitely have to research before going that route. The last thing I want is more quackified, textbook, one-size-fits-all information. I honestly hope with the current popularity of gluten-free and paleo diets, more health professionals are finally coming around and admitting the mistakes of the past 30 low-fat grain-filled years, in which obesity and weight related diseases have spiraled out of control. I'm hoping my program will work out for me with a little patience, and I won't have to go down that road. I'm just at a loss. Hopefully we'll both get it figured out soon. We are troopers, that's for sure!
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Old 04-16-2014, 11:37 AM   #315
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I thought for sure there were a lot more people who were "in the know" to the effects of grains, etc... funnily enough, DD17 did a huge presentation on Wheat Belly for her college English class, and the kids were horrified. They were Convinced that she was brain washed and didn't know what she was saying.. Even with the scary facts about how much our supply has changed over the years, they still didn't get it.

Hopefully things will kick in and you won't have to worry about trying to explain your lifestyle to anyone. It's such a personal choice, and the journey, even moreso... people just don't get it. What's even more annoying to me, people who preach to me about stuff that clearly have NO clue what it's like to be overweight.
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Old 04-18-2014, 02:05 PM   #316
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Danielle ~ I agree, not looking forward to having that conversation with the doctors. I'm just hoping I can get this figured out on my own.

I keep trying to update, but get busy at work and lose my posts. I really need to stop doing that.

Wednesday -
B: Coconut Quest Bar
L: 1/2 baked chicken, salad w/ranch, broccoli
D: Taco Salad

Thursday:
B: Mixed Berry Quest Bar
L: Pressed burger patty, cheese, jalapenos + green beans + salad w/ranch
D: Pork Chop, Broccoli, small sweet potato with lotsa butter
1 hour water aerobics

With tomorrow being the 19th, that marks 7 months low carb and also my official monthly weigh-in day. I feel like I've been seeing the same few numbers on my scale over and over, because I have -- but when I look only at the 19th, I see a steady loss each month. It's been minimal compared to before- at 4 lbs/month for the past 3 months, but steady. Now that I'm adding some carbs back in, I'm being careful to track every calorie which has been interesting. I'm also tracking my workouts, which is motivating me to work out more often. Not harder, just smarter. Hopefully I can use these tools to get closer to 1.5-2 lbs per week vs. 1 lb.
I can't complain.

HW 7/11/2012 311
SW 9/19/2013 278
M1 10/19/2013 260 -18
M2 11/19/2013 254 -6
M3 12/19/2013 243 -11
M4 1/19/2014 238 -5
M5 2/19/2014 234 -4
M6 3/19/2014 230 -4



I feel like it's going to take forever at this rate, but the time will pass no matter what. The only thing that will get in my way is my own frustration, so I'm putting it behind me, and keepin' on. One day at a time...

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Old 04-21-2014, 08:35 AM   #317
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HW 07/11/2012 311
SW 09/19/2013 278
M1 10/19/2013 260 -18
M2 11/19/2013 254 -6
M3 12/19/2013 243 -11
M4 01/19/2014 238 -5
M5 02/19/2014 234 -4
M6 03/19/2014 230 -4
M7 04/19/2014 227 -3

meh.
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Old 04-21-2014, 08:41 AM   #318
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I still think you're doing great, sweets! I really really do.. I know it feels like you're not, but you are shrinking all over and the scale is moving, albeit slowly.. RIght now I would be thrilled to see 3lbs lost for the month...it's been such a terrible few months for me...most at my own doing and I have no one to blame but me... and now I'm terrified that it's not gonna ever change.

Hang in there, honey!
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Old 04-21-2014, 03:34 PM   #319
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Thanks Danielle

I'm trying to stay positive and focus on the fact that it did go down, at least. I guess it's just frustrating that I'm trying all of these things to get the scale to move faster and then it starts moving even slower.

Oh, Universe.....
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Old 04-22-2014, 02:29 PM   #320
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Well, despite the Universe working against me, my determination perseveres. After tracking for a while, my food intake seems perfectly reasonable as far as carbs and calories, so I'm going to stop obsessing over food for a while and try to increase my exercise. Now that I have my numbers down when it comes to calories, I decided to invest in another HRM so I can view the whole picture. I had been putting it off because I have one around the house somewhere but it seems to have been lost in the move last year. After lots of research, I decided on the Polar FT7 paired with the upgraded T31 strap, which should provide an accurate reading in the water. Now I'm just hoping it actually works and doesn't fail, since that's the primary reason I bought it and my most frequent form of exercise. The Tuesday instructor is probably the most intense as far as cardio, so I'm kind of excited to try it out tonight! I tried it out on my elliptical last night and was a little disappointed in the reading, but it seems accurate. I got on my elliptical for a half-assed 20 minutes just to play with it, and it said I burned 133 calories--the automatic exercise generator on the website I use defaulted to 220 for the same time frame because it doesn't take intensity into consideration. That's a pretty big difference...and could definitely be making me think I'm burning more than I am. The danger here, is that when I log my exercise, it gives me extra calories to eat -- and possibly too many!

It's somewhat stressful trying to keep track of all this on top of everything else I have to do in a day, but I'm fascinated by the numbers and anxious to see if I can use them to my advantage! At least until I get a grip on this weight loss.
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Old 04-22-2014, 03:13 PM   #321
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There is ALOT to be said for perseverance...in my house it's called stubbornness and I am the queen I think focusing on the exercise will be a good idea... it has lessened some of my anxiety by doing it this way. I am looking into a HRM and am debating about which to get or to hold out for one that's coming out that fits on the wrist....it's a new concept and I'm not entirely convinced how accurate it would be... I have an UP already and it's frustrating to me because after 30 min. with Jillian it will tell me that I only burned like 120 calories.. Got some thinking to do.

Enjoy your swim! Sounds amazing right about now in this hot weather!!
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Old 04-23-2014, 07:57 AM   #322
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Well, in this case, stubbornness is probably the only thing keeping me on track so I'm thankful for it.

I really love all of the bands they've come out with! It's a great concept, but it seems that right now most of them are just fancy pedometers more useful for people who walk or run. I can't wait to see how they develop over the next couple years, as soon as someone successfully combines the advanced features of a HRM with the convenience features of a band, jackpot!

I had the FT4 before and it was great, this time I got the FT7 because it was only $10 more after BB price matched Amazon. They are both super simple to use and *drumroll* it really works under water!!! At least with the T31 strap; but it worked beautifully--the entire time. In the case of my hydro class, I found that the website tracker is pretty spot-on, according to the HRM I burned 390 calories in an hour, and the website says just over 400--so it's within 20 calories. I am thrilled that I'm burning that many in such a fun class, now I'm just anxious to see how the other two days with different instructors compare because they all do things a bit differently. I even wore my HRM to work this morning so I could see how many calories I burn if I take the stairs vs elevator. My HR gets up to 155 by the time I reach the 4th floor (I'm on the top -at 6), but overall it was only about 40 calories. But hey, If I take them after lunch as well, that's an extra 80-100 calories a day in my pocket. Tonight I plan to hop on the elliptical for a full workout and see how many I can burn at home on alternate days.

I'm super thrilled my HRM really works in the water, so far I'm having a lot of fun with it and it's also helping keep my mind off of food and the scale, so that's a definite plus!
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Old 04-23-2014, 08:14 AM   #323
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There are a couple bands w/ HRM that are due to come out...so far the Samsung one is out and is getting horrible reviews.. Of course, what I may do is buy a regular ole HRM and THEN buy one of those new-fangled bands..just cause I have to play with everything....yes, I am that nosey!

I'm so happy that you're happy with your new HRM!! Wow, got some great burn going there, that is fantastic news!! You're definitely on the right track with your thinking about how much we can burn throughout our day...it ALL adds up! I have 2 flights of stairs in my house that I go up and down a zillion times a day...kills me to not know how much I'm burning! My UP band only tracks steps..and while that's "nice"...it's not doing it for me right now..
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Old 04-23-2014, 01:20 PM   #324
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It would be very handy for lots of walking, like my zoo trips! I'm sure I'll feel the need to tinker with one at some point, I'm just holding out... technology changes so quickly I know as soon as I buy one a better one will come out. Or at least, I'm hoping that's how it goes. Right now they're having a tough run with FitBit's major recall on the Force and Nike is basically bowing out of the competition. They're a wonderful concept, if only they could perfect one.

Now that I know I burn 400 calories at my hydro class, I kinda wish they had it every day! I think a focused elliptical workout will get me pretty close at home though. I've got to get this darn weight off...preferably in less than 3 years, Mr. Scale.

I love your mantra from Jillian -- get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That's so applicable to this journey, mentally and physically. I have been way out of my comfort zone this whole time, but I guess this time around my desire to get it done is stronger than anything else. I still feel anxiety and awkwardness at the gym every single time I walk in there, but my determination helps me push through, and I feel great once it's over with. If you had told me 7 months ago that I'd be working out at a mega-gym, 3 times a week, in a swimsuit, I would have bet my life savings that wasn't going to happen. I guess stopping to think about it makes me realize how far I'm coming along in ways completely unrelated to the scale, so thanks for posting.
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Old 04-23-2014, 01:31 PM   #325
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I'm really contemplating a bodybugg.. seems to be quite efficient at tracking everything. They are spendy though so will have to convince the hubb's that it is a "must have"

The journey is all about progress FORWARD. Sure, I'm not losing near as much weight as the rest of the world.. a year ago this woulda pissed me off to the point of giving up... nowadays, I don't really give a you-know-what how fast I'm going, or how much is lost. Every experience is completely different and unique, and I say thank God for that cause things would be pretty dang boring IMO! There are some that don't have mental BS to work through and can hopefully blaze through and get the fat a-flyin and hopefully be able to keep it off...but for me, I am convinced that there are reasons as to why we get to how we are....and I have proved several times I KNOW how to lose weight...but I'm after longterm results, enough with the yo-yo. I own the entire experience, one pound at a time...or lack thereof... But it's MINE. Every bit of it.
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Old 04-24-2014, 09:18 AM   #326
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Absolutely! And FORWARD we go.

It's extremely frustrating to see these people who lose 100 lbs in less than a year, yet, here I am on month 7, following my program exactly, and still at the 50 lbs mark I reached 3 months ago. Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome for them, but I can't help thinking "why is that not happening for me? what am I doing wrong?" In the case today, I saw where the individual in the Atkins progress photo later commented that she also did Zumba for an hour a day! Well, that explains it! Even still, one thing I know for sure, is that we are all different and what works for one person may not work for another. It took me months, but I finally realized there is no one-size-fits-all method to weight loss and just start experimenting to find out what works for ME. It takes a long time, more patience than I knew I had, but I'm moving FORWARD every day as long as I'm trying.

So, despite the scale going nuts on me, I'm confident that I'm doing the right thing(s) and I'm sticking to my plan. The more careful I am with tracking food and the more I workout, the scale keeps going up. I'm over getting mad about it, all I can do at this point is laugh!! There is no possible way I'm actually gaining, so I'm not worried about it... but man, it's frustrating sometimes.

In addition to increasing my exercise, I am kicking around the idea of quitting coffee, or at least cutting it back from a daily thing to an occasional treat. This would save me 100-200 calories from cream, 2-4 packs of artificial sweetener, and eliminate caffeine completely since I only drink water otherwise. I can't bring myself to quit dairy all together, but cutting it back to a smidge of cheese on my lunch/dinner may help. Now that I've been tracking calories, I decided that the 100 calories per cup of coffee would be better spent on a good snack.

It's Thursday already?? Woohoo! I've been so busy this week is just flying by. Hydro class tonight.
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Old 04-24-2014, 09:54 AM   #327
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Definitely no one-size-fits-all...if there was, I'd be in trouble! I admire the people who can fly through weightloss...at the same time it makes me wonder, will they really keep it off.. am I just the only nutjob that has "issues" and that's why I can't lose weight?

I am *this* close to making at attempt to going to the gym and just doing the assessment and checking things out. I haven't convinced myself completely but I'm hoping that by saying it out loud, maybe something will click. I also have no idea why I feel an immense thought process where it comes to the gym and the desire to go but being entirely too freaked out.

I have 1 cup of coffee, usually every day. I miss my HWC ALOT! I do sf creamer and Truvia.. I dunno if I could quit the coffee...it is the one thing I look forward to in the morning where I sit w/ it and read and watch the sun come up.. I may end up a stark raving lunatic if I did!
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Old 04-25-2014, 05:21 PM   #328
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Oh, yeah, I totally failed that coffee challenge! I skipped my morning coffee, only to have a headache later and give in for an afternoon cup. It
sounded
like a good plan... maybe next week.

You should really try the gym thing out, even if it's just on a guest pass so you can get a feel for it. Worst case, you'll hate it and never have to go back but at least you'll know for sure! I avoided it for several years, but finally pushed myself on the premise of swim lessons for my son. It turned out to be the best thing I have done for myself in years, and he has lots of fun too. Of course, I highly recommend trying the hydro classes. I still can't believe I burn 400+ calories and actually have fun doing it! I only wish they had more than 3 classes per week. Another place near the gym is offering Aqua Zumba for $5, but it's on the same days at the same times...if they did M&W they'd be in business. Maybe I should email them.




My birthday is this Sunday, ugh. I'm a little down about turning 29 for the 3rd time and I'm nowhere near my birthday weight loss goal, but I've let it go. I honestly feel that I'm doing all that I can and giving it 100%, so I've made peace with the fact that how fast or slow it happens at this point is out of my hands. On the flipside, I think turning 31 is part of the reason I've been pushing myself to step out of my comfort zone a bit. Over the past several months my husband has been obsessing about saving even more for retirement and all of these lovely plans he has for us to retire early and travel etc. That's all dandy, but what about living now? I believe we need to save plenty for retirement, sure, but not at the expense of truly living our lives today. While I was explaining this to him, it reignited something within my soul. I love to travel, I have an overwhelming feeling of peace when I'm near an ocean or surrounded by nature; and I want to experience everything I possibly can while I'm healthy enough and blessed enough to do so.

After giving him this speech, I realized I've been preventing myself from living, not because of finances, but because of my weight. I went through my 20's basically doing nothing because I always put everything off "until I lose weight." Unfortunately, I never did lose the weight, despite my constant yoyo diets. So, goodbye 20's. There goes an entire decade of my life that I can never get back. A lot of this started running through my mind when I turned 30 last year, and was also a new mother, but at that point I was feeling hopeless--how could I ever lose 120 lbs? I didn't think it was possible, and even considered surgery. I probably would have if my c-section hadn't nearly killed me. I rarely left the house last Spring/Summer, and felt so much guilt for keeping my rambunctious son corralled in the house on beautiful days.

After that, I knew for sure that I didn't want to waste another decade of my life. I don't want my son to grow up hiding from life like I do. Or did.

From the depths of my soul, I found the courage to join a gym and actually go to it. I found the courage to take my son to swim lessons. I found the courage to take my son to a crowded waterpark. I'm sure that sounds dumb to the average person, but after avoiding those things for so many years and watching everyone else have fun from a distance--that's huge for me. Tapping into that same soul-shattering epiphany, I also finally found the mental strength it takes to stick to this damned weight loss plan, no matter how frustrating and uncooperative it proves to be. I finally started living my life, despite my weight, and for the first time ever we have a busy summer planned.

And, I can say on my 31st birthday, I now only have 68 lbs to go--almost half way to my goal.

Last edited by br3n; 04-25-2014 at 05:23 PM..
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Old 04-26-2014, 09:21 AM   #329
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What a great post. I can really see your growth in the things you wrote about. Weightloss is so much about perception and acknowledgement for the little things as a necessity in order to keep on going. The proverbial silver lining if you will..... especially for those of us that are not the lucky recipients of rapid weight loss despite our attempts at it. I think having the right attitude is the only way we're going to get through this! WE can do it!!

I have struggled with the "time stamp" goals... as much as I used to be able to fly though these things years ago...that is so not the case nowadays I've got a touch of anxiety with this because for this program I'm doing, my body goal is an actual set number. This is where my attitude is going to need to adjust and have faith that I can get to it.

Oh man, the stuff about living for the moment vs. waiting for that perfect time to begin living... I could go on and on, but I wont...just know that I feel ya, girl. I think you are doing the right thing in taking the steps now to truly enjoy life as a 30-something woman, a mom, and a wife.. I missed out on so much in my 20's & 30's because I was always waiting for that "perfect moment"...I wish I had been smart enough to go with my gut at the time, and not worried so much, or cared for that matter, about what other's thought of me at any size..
Just go for it mama!

Be proud of the steps you have taken so far to change your future for the better. You have come a long way from that first day, never forget that!

I talked to DH again last night about the gym thing... he didn't shoot it down right away, but wasn't exactly jumping for joy either I think it would be good for him, but then, I can't lead him around based on what *I* think is best..he's gotta want it. I may take DD17 with me and see what's up. I just know that I have to make some pretty huge strides in the next few months with what I committed to and something has to change!
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Old 04-28-2014, 10:54 AM   #330
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Thanks Danielle! Sometimes after being frustrated for a while I forget how far I've really come until I take a moment to reflect on it. It's definitely a journey... living & learning, as they say! My DH was not on board with the gym thing at all, he didn't even want ME to join, but my stubborn self did it anyway. I think he thought I was going to sign up and then never go (which I don't blame him for, because that was typical when I did anything diet related in the past!), but I sure proved him wrong! Hopefully DD will go with you --

Wellll, I decided to let loose a little on my birthday, but I don't think I did too much damage. I did have a small slice of birthday cake, because if there's any time during the year when I'm going to do that it should be my birthday right!? I had a couple drinks, but they were diet at least. Then, I was going to be a real rebel and have a burger from one of my favorite places I haven't visited in the past 7 months, but after I got it I threw the bun off anyway and gave the other half to my husband. It was delicious , but...all of that is behind me now, out of my system and I'm moving on. Back on track. Ironically, the scale actually went down a bit, but I'm sure it will be back up tomorrow after the day of stuffing myself catches up.

My goals this week are to stay at induction levels for a few days to reset and then to workout every single day of the week, adding at least 20 minutes of exercise on my "off" days. We have lots of fun planned for the next few months so I had better get busy.
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