|08-22-2013, 05:49 PM||#1|
Senior LCF Member
[I won't] eat the peach
I decided I needed more accountability and a place to rant about the trials and tribulations of being a fat person in an XXS world who loses weight but never quite enough weight to be "normal."
By the way? The biggest fear of my entire existence is to be considered normal. Most days I don't have to worry about it.
But, seriously, I need to get the weight off for health reasons. My mother had her first heart attack at 42. I'm thirty seven.
I spent the latter part of my twenties and most of my thirties yo-yoing on low carb. I would go low carb and I would feel: Physically Fantastic! and mentally anxious, on edge, revved up and manic with an inability sit still or to sleep more that three hours a night. This "up" feeling would crash in about three months into a numbing depression that made it difficult to find a reason to drag myself out of bed in the morning and a lingering conviction that it would have been better if I had never been born.
I usually lasted about four and a half months on the low carb diet. The rest of the year I was on a fast food diet. And then I gave up.
I decided that I simply could not maintain a low carb diet, and I looked for other ways to get healthy. I tried WW, but got mad after three meetings when the group leader informed an elderly member ( who did not look like she really needed to lose weight, by the way) that she should not be taking fish oil because "after all, fish oil is pure fat!"
So after I stood up, told the leader she was an idiot and told the old lady that she should give more credence to her cardiologist and less to an elitist hausfrau moonlighting as a Mary Kay rep, ( I don't think I said hausfrau. But I wish that I had) and stormed out of the meeting, I decided that WW was not for me.
Then I tried the balanced diet, low calorie approach. With this, I had a little more luck. And I lost weight. Ten whole pounds. In eight whole months. And I kept my calories between 1400 and 1600 every. single. day.
But even though the weight wasn't coming off, other, magical things were happening with my body. My blood pressure was steadily rising. My energy levels were dropping. I developed debilitating joint pain that would keep me in bed some mornings for nearly forty minuets until my knee and hip unlocked enough to let me hobble into the kitchen and take some pain medication. I lost ability to focus, and developed neurological symptoms that made me think that I might have MS. And then I was misdiagnosed with MS because of optic neuritis in my left eye. I believed the diagnosis without doubt. After all, something had to be wrong, right?
And it was. Very,very wrong. Its a condition called "wheat consumption".
After an MRI proved that I didn't have MS, I decided that, no mater what, I had to go low carb and make it stick. I knew that physically I was at my best when I went low carb.
I started slowly: I didn't count carbs at first. I just gave up all grains and potatoes. A crazy thing happened. All of those previous symptoms? The elevated blood pressure, the lack of balance and concentration, the fatigue, the joint pain, and did I mention that in the end I was losing my hair? They were all gone within three weeks. Something else happened as well. I realized that the unbearable mental symptoms I experienced before didn't happen. I never got anxiety at all. In fact, my mood was more positive, and I was calmer than I had been in years.
I dropped twenty pounds pretty quickly: I think it was less that two months. Then things slowed down. I decided to give Atkins induction a try, so I read Atkins, something I had never done before (I went primarily with the Eades Protein Power plan.) After that, I had a sudden insatiable appetite for any and all low carb literature. I red Taubes, Davis, the Art and Science of Low carb people (I always misspell their names.) I read everything I could come up with and retained very little. But, you know, that's just me.
I did come away with the idea that wheat was bad. Very bad. In fact, wheat was probably the culprit in most of my medical misadventures. I don't know for sure, because to be tested for Celiac disease you have to ingest wheat. I'd rather be shot, strung up by my nipples and trampled by a herd of bison than have wheat come anywhere near me. Just for God's sakes make sure the bison are grass fed.
I learned a lot of other cool stuff too, but everyone here has pretty much read the same books so I won't bore you with it. Suffice to say I know enough to get myself in trouble.
As far as eating and weight loss goes: I tend to let carb creep get me. I've done it before, and I've been doing it recently. I need more accountability, like I said before. I need to be posting the foods I eat and paying attention every day. I was down to 202 from 242. I crept back up to 208, but I'm back down to just under 204. I've discovered that I can't eat very many carbs at all and stay in ketosis. I count total carbs, including fiber and erythritol, and I've got to stay under 25 to stay in ketosis. So that's what I'm doing.
So I'm going to post my weight every day and, tell you what i've done different, and in general rant. I can't help it. Its my nature.
So, weight as of 8/22/13: (drumroll) 204. Lets see what it is in the morning.
Breakfast: two cups coffee with one tablespoon CO and one teaspoon Truvia
Lunch: four baby back ribs
Dinner: Two hamburger patties with about four tablespoons mustard
Desert: one egg cream with two eggs, three tablespoons hwc, and two teaspoons erythritol
Total carbs came up to 23.7
Peace, all, and happy low carbing. Which, three times now, has been auto corrected to "happy low carving." It might also be accurate, but I still think that autocorrect is the most annoying function ever devised. Ever.
|08-23-2013, 01:50 PM||#3|
Senior LCF Member
So...today was good. Im still not craving anything. Its still strange, even after about a year: I sometimes want bread, or more often french fries, but I'm not craving it. I have no idea, other than avoiding grains 100%, what I'm doing to cause this but I hope it continues.
Yesterday and today I had some low carb flu symptoms. I haven't had them this whole time. Maybe I'm finally entering ketosis? I can't tell-I don't have bad breath. I had it for about a month into induction, but it went away. That may be because I started eating more carbs than I should. At any rate, my appetite is down and it hasn't been before, so I think I'm doing something right.
My weight today was still 204. At least I didn't gain anything. I need to get back in the gym, but I'm going to give myself two weeks to adjust to zero carb. I think I can call it that: I'm not eating any vegetables at all and I don't think i'll be able too. I could cut out the sweetener and put veggies in, and I might at some point. I just can't give everything up at once, and I loved cheese.
I will say that La Croix has been my salvation while trying to break my diet soda addiction. This stuff is amazing. I had a glass of coconut with one half oz vodka before I sat down to write this. I usually don't drink-it's been a couple of months, I think. But I think one half oz on friday won't kill me, so I'll try it and see if it works.
So, my food today:
Breakfast: Two cups coffee and one tbs Co, one tsp Truvia
Lunch: three boiled eggs
Snack: Coconut La Croix with one half oz vodka
Supper will be: Two hamburgers with mustard, and one hot dog if I'm still hungry. I found the most amazing Applegate uncured hot dogs without any fillers, or dextrose (which I think is also considered a filler, so I'm being redundant) or grain products, or sugar. It's just meat, spices, and dehydrated onion. Ingredients list zero carbs, but I'm counting it as .5 just in case.
Desert: Two egg egg cream with three tbs hwc yada yada just read the first post.
Total carbs: 24.1 without the hot dog, 24.6 with it.
Good night and good luck.
|08-23-2013, 02:25 PM||#4|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Los Angeles, CA
WOE: hhCG, rx hCG
Start Date: rx hCG R7 start 02/16/14
First of all, I actually laughed out loud reading your intro post. So thanks for that!
Second, best of luck to you in your journey. You sound like you have a fantastic attitude and a plan. ALWAYS a great place to start!
Third--and now I'm just being a nosy parker! --is there any reason that you are going zero carb? The reason that I'm asking is that your story sounds very similar to mine and I ended up with some additional health issues from zero carb. They were probably already there but they were certainly kicked into high gear with zero carb. I've managed to get myself into a really great place now but I had to add back in some carbs to do it. Not saying it would necessarily happen for you because we are ALL different..just wondering--and quite clearly looking for something to do this SLOOOOW Friday afternoon!
Have a great weekend Jackie!
Pre-hhCG cleanse (P1) - 01/03/11, 12 days, 210->200
hhCG round 1 - 01/15/11, 32 days, drops, 10/10/10, 200->175
hhCG round 2 - 04/15/11, 38 days, drops & pellets, 10/4/10, 177->154
hhCG round 3 - 01/03/12, 23 days, pellets, 3/3/3, 157->141
_hCG round 4 - 05/05/12, 24 days, rx hCG, 125iU, 148->136
_hCG round 5 - 08/11/12, 26 days, rx hCG, 125iU, 159->140
_hCG round 6 - 08/05/13, 26 days, rx hCG, 150-200iU, 160->146
_hCG round 7 - 02/16/14, 33 days, rx hCG, 150iU, ~175->???
|08-24-2013, 03:47 PM||#5|
Senior LCF Member
Hello again all. First let me reply to Shelbyla: I'm going zero carb because I have to go extremely low carb to lose weight steadily. I was so close I figured I might as well. I could trade the Truvia out for vegetables, and nutrition wise I probably should. But I would really miss sweetener, and I don't use that much of it. Also, I am more tempted to over eat vegetables than I am Truvia. Odd, but true.
This is not something I will do forever: maybe. I don't know. I have the appetite suppression that I remember from previous bouts with low carb, I feel a lack of energy that means I'm "adjusting" to a lower carb diet: again, I didn't have that before. I might need to stay this low for a while if I want to continue weight loss. I love vegetables, but when I'm keeping my carbs this low I don't miss them. I'm not hungry until the food is in front of me. Then, it's delicious. I kind of like this.
I will make sure that I supplement, though. I'm taking GNC Women's active without iron, a quadruple dose of fish oil, and a double dose of Ester-C.
And on a brighter note: 203 this morning! Down one whole pound. I don't suppose the vodka had anything to do with it.....I'm tempted to rinse and repeat.
Nah, I'll save the alcohol for Fridays. It gives me something to look forward to. I actually don't have anything to rant about today. I guess I'll just leave you with a menu and a good night.
Breakfast: two cups coffee, one tbs CO, one tsp trivia
Lunch: two Applegate hot dogs with two tbs Duke's mayo and one tbs cheap mustard
Supper: Three or four buffalo chicken thighs, depending on how hungry I am. I did have the hot dog last night so...most likely four.
Desert: two egg egg cream w three tbs hwc and two tsp trivia.
|08-25-2013, 01:41 PM||#6|
Senior LCF Member
So, I may as well confess already: I ate an entire French silk pie this afternoon. And it was good.
Seriously, though, I overdid it. The only thing that really worries me is the amount of sweetener in it since I'm not counting calories. And the fact that it made me hungry: after eating 1000 calories of pure fat, I wanted to eat more.
My typical reaction (or overreaction, as it were) would be to say A: I have to give up French silk pie or most likely B: I have to give up all sweeteners, which would also take care of A. Bakers chocolate, butter, and raw eggs without sweetener? Can you imagine? <shudder>
I think I am going to take a more moderate approach this time. The next time I make French silk pie (which will be next weekend at the earliest) I will put one tbs of Truvia in it instead of two. That way, it will be less sweet, I will want to eat less of it or, if I do eat all of it again, it will have eaten nearly half the carbs. Btw if I do it again French silk pie is off the menu. Seriously.
I have noticed, though, when I go over a certain amount of sweetener (or sweetness because it's not always related to quantity of sweetener) it tends to make me hungry. Maybe there is some truth to all of this "sweet tastes cause an insulin response" thing.
I'm not ready to give up sweeteners yet. But I am ready to be more cautious with them.
And I'm also ready to get back in the gym. I think I'll start resistance tomorrow: The headachy low energy feeling has gone away, so I should be all right. I'll start out slow, just for 15 minuets, and see how it goes.
And, I was still at 203 today. Hopefully it won't go up because of my French pie incident.
Time to face the music:
Breakfast: Two cups coffee with one tbs CO and one tsp Truvia. I was still hungry about 830, so I ate a bowl of chicken and egg salad. (just leftover chicken thigh meat and boiled eggs with mayo.) And spices. I don't do anything without spices.
Lunch: second bowl of chicken salad.
Afternoon <ahem> snack: an entire French silk pie.
Dinner: I'm still hungry, so I'm going to go zero carb, but eat: Hamburger patties to be exact, with mayonnaise. The combo of protein and fat should get me satiated.
|08-26-2013, 05:17 AM||#7|
Senior LCF Member
I know I'm early today-I haven't even weighed myself yet, but reality has set in with the cold light of morning. My hands are slightly puffy, and my belly fat less, well, loose would be the polite term. If there is such a thing as polite terms when one is talking belly fat: That seems to be one of those subjects that just screams for bawdy.
So, my solution: I will give up sweeteners during the week. I tend to eat more on the weekend. I've managed to cut that down a bit, but I may as well plan for it. I'll have my treats then, but I'll cut way down on the amount of sweeteners I put in them. This should be doable because I will no longer be used to the sweet taste. And, it will save me money. Truvia isn't cheap. Where's the happy dance emoticon? oh well.
I've also been reading these previous posts, and its giving me the clarity I wanted. This might bore all of you because it's blatently obvious and repetitive , but bear with me: I tend to be one of those people who needs to be hit in the head with something over and over until I get it.
My main problem is carb creep.
It isn't that I eat more on days when I'm hungrier-It's that the "more" has more carbs. I planned to eat no more than a tablespoon of sweetener a day, and then yesterday ate two tablespoons plus one teaspoon. My body registered that.
It also registered the massive amount of fat and calories, but my point is that I would never have eaten that much if the food had not been sweet. The pie itself had twenty eight carbs, so I'm thinking my total yesterday was pushed up to almost fourty carbs. Thats twice as much as i should have if I'm trying to lose weight.
I think eventually I will have to give up sweetener. I'm just trying to taper down with it.
I'm also trying to get the right mix of food to keep me satiated. I'm not a math whizz to figure out ratios, but it seems like if I have a mix of fat and protein I tend to get satiated. It's probably something like 65-75% fat, and at least 15 grams protein. I know I'm mixing ratios and units-like I said, I'm not a math person.
Another thing that works, and I think I got this advice from Key Tones, is to drink fat shots-something about the pure fat suspended in liquid is satiating for hours at a time. That's why I drink CO in my coffee every morning. I'm going to up the dose, though, because I've been getting pretty hungry before lunch, and because of my work schedule breakfast has to hold me for six and a half hours on weekdays.
So, now that I've bored you to tears, here are my conclusions:
My main problem is carb creep
Sweeteners are the main culprit that causes it
I will limit sweeteners to the weekends until I get up the courage to get rid of them all together
I will try to eat the right mix of fat and protein to keep me satiated
I'll go ahead and post a menu for today, and give you an update when I weigh myself this afternoon. <groan>
Breakfast: Two cups of coffee with what was to be two tablespoons CO but ended up being all I could scrape out of a nearly empty jar: About one and one half tbs
Lunch: four scotch eggs
Supper: Three hot dogs with mayo and mustard
Desert: Two eggs scrambled in either butter or refined CO-I might try to give up dairy too. I'm thinking about it. I'll probably add a tbs of bacon bits, too.
Total carbs: 12.1
Wish me luck.
|08-26-2013, 12:37 PM||#8|
Senior LCF Member
So I weighed myself, and I had lost a lb. My new weight is 202....back to forty pounds lost. Whoot!! Maybe I should make another pie....nope, I'll stick to the no sweetener during the week plan.
Slight menu change:
Lunch became a hot dog fried in refined CO with two scrambled eggs.
Supper will now be: One hamburger patty
Desert: Two eggs scrambled in refined CO and a hot dog....It was good.
Total carbs for new menu: 8.4
Last edited by Jackie123; 08-26-2013 at 12:40 PM..
|08-27-2013, 02:16 PM||#9|
Senior LCF Member
I'm chillin' tonight. I weighed in this morning still at 202. I think i'm gonna stop weighing everyday and just go with this. My pants (which are admittedly tight) are a smidgen looser, I can almost see my collar bones defined (thats been quite a while) and my face looks slimmer. The vascularity has increased in my hands, arms and feet. I think my body likes zero carb.
Me? I wish I could have some cauliflower mac and cheese to go with my salmon croquettes tonight. But, that's just life. I'll get used to it.
I'm having a little vodka in my La Croix tonight. That might account for my laid back attitude. I just put the croquettes batter in the fridge to chill for a half hour. I couldn't resist tasting it: Delicious. Life seems brighter since I've let go of my fear of raw eggs.
I was freaking a little this morning (I freak a lot-you will learn this over time, grasshopper) for some reason because I was wondering if pork rinds counted as zero carb. Even though they're nothing but fried pork skin. Duh. And the wonderfull omega 3 rich fish was just calling to me. I got a good price for sockeye, even canned, at my local Wal-Mart. Which is good. Because I is broke.
But, I'm finding that this way of eating is less expensive-I think I can stretch fifty bucks into three weeks worth of food. I'd better, because that's all the money I've got. Chicken thighs, hot dogs, eggs, canned salmon...yeah. Maybe. But I'll overdraw my account if I have to. Nothing will keep me from eating low carb. Of course, I have that luxury because I don't have kids. I have a cat, but she just eats cheap tuna anyway.
I am so rambling tonight. I'm wondering about truth, justice, the truth in justice....or if it's all just a pack of lies. I mean, how can an entire nation be convinced that eating food that makes them sick...I mean, for most people, immediately and obviously sick- is good for them? And will there never be an accounting for the way that western medicine has prostrated itself before the food and pharmaceutical industries, and turned its back on science and the American people?
It's funny how I don't hear much about that. Any other con on this scale, and even if it was just in isolated iconoclastic circles there would be outrage, and a cry for justice.
There is nothing. I hear nothing. Just a faded hope that "someday, someday popular opinion will shift. Someday, there will be change, and the the institutions that are supposed to protect public health will stop willfully condemning people to misery, preventable illness and death."
I mean, come on people. If we learn nothing from American history we should learn that nothing changes unless we change it. Instead we hide the way we eat because we are afraid that people will judge us, lie when we are successful in losing weight, misdirect people when they ask how we lost weight....really? Why are we hiding? We have nothing to be ashamed of. In spite of all the lies and misdirection by the powers that be we have found the way to improve our health through nutrition. And if we've lost ten pounds, or a hundred pounds, and we keep them off for years at a time we are a success. Our experience is victory.
Low carb could seriously stand to come out of the closet. S'all I'm saying.
So, menu for today:
Breakfast: Coffee with two tablespoons of CO
Lunch: One Applegate hot dog and two boiled eggs
Snack : One oz vodka and coconut La Croix
Dinner: Salmon croquettes.
Peace, all. And find a way, every day, to speak out loud about what is important to you. Life is very short.
|08-30-2013, 02:42 PM||#10|
Senior LCF Member
So...Its been a couple of days since I last posted. And....well, I may as well admit the broccoli binge. I ate an entire 14 oz bag of pictsweet frozen broccoli florets. With butter. And the next day I was up by three pounds.
Now, here is what I don't get about my body. I can eat an entire french silk pie. That's over 1000 calories. I don't gain at all, and in fact I lose. But I eat...hold on, I'm adding it up....320 calories of broccoli with butter and I gain three pounds. Mmmmkay? what the....
I know, its the carbs. There were sixteen carbs in the broccoli. There were 28 in the pie counting erythritol, but I'm beginning to think those might not count as much as veggie carbs.
It's been an interesting two days. Seriously, I've learned a lot about my body. I still think I did the right thing by limiting sweeteners, if only for behavioral reasons. And, I admit, I really miss veggies. I'm trying to find a way to work them back in...maybe a little bit of lettuce?
I'm whimpering here.
Anyway, I'm back down to 202 as of this afternoon. I really need to get back in the gym.
I'm going to re-evaluate-I might give myself a veggie treat (as opposed to a sweet treat) once a week, or I might try to do something like three romaine leaves a day. That would still be under 15 total carbs, which is my gain point. Hell, I might do both. I really miss vegetables. Not so much tonight, since I have succulent lamb shoulder chops (half off at Publix, hooyah) that just came out of the oven, but still.
I'll evaluate. And decide. Right now, I'm sill planning on being below two hundred pounds by the middle of next week. And that chop looks pretty good...
so to wrap up:
B: three eggs scrambled in CO. and two cups coffee with one teaspoon VCO
Lunch: Two hot dogs and two boiled eggs
Supper: one lamb chop
After supper: If I get hungry-bacon.
Carbs: 9 g
Last edited by Jackie123; 08-30-2013 at 02:44 PM..