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Old 07-28-2013, 07:03 PM   #31
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 43
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It is true. It scalds me, the thought that I'm not good enough. It's difficult to leave the prison of those feeling. I think I used to think I was dealing but I was just numbing with food. As a kid I binged a lot. That feeling, I felt so numb, like I was going to die from being stretched so much. As a kid, I wanted to die because I felt I had no place in this world, like I wasn't good enough for life.

What you said about him making excuses, I never thought of it that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BellaRose View Post
Please stop thinking your not good
enough because your father left you.
HE has the problems not YOU. He was
selfish, make any excuse to not make
himself feel guilty.

You've got a good husband, two chikdren.
Be happy. You can lose weight. You have been
losing. Keep it up. Almost in the 200's!

Buy things on sale. Eggs, tuna, salads, hamburger
you can make low carb. Drop the diet sodas, make
lunches for work.(don't forget) That $7.00 could of
bought eggs tuna and hamburger.
You could save money.

Good Luck.
PS Fight the Insurance Company.
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Old 07-29-2013, 11:58 AM   #32
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My broken tooth is seriously acting up and causing me pain in my ear, jaw and sinus. I caved in and called to schedule the root canal. I got an appointment for tomorrow morning and the copay is 150. So be it. I can't handle more pain. I have the money for the root canal because I'm getting paid a third time in august so there is a little extra that I wanted to spend on my son's back to school. I have to get him uniforms, sneakers, supplies, and already got him a bookbag. I wanted to wait until august to do the root canal but it can't wait.

I also am not fully healed from my virus but don't want to miss work anymore. My head hurts and I feel chills through my body.

I had a chicken salad, broiled chicken over romaine. In the morning I had capn crunch because there was no time to make eggs as I needed the extra zzss.. my daughter woke up at least four times last night, I think some more teeth are coming out. Bah.

I need to figure out my exercise. I want to walk but am trying to figure this out as my mom's kids plus mine equal five kids and two are babies. A stroller, a carrier, and lots of micromanaging are going to be involved as we want to walk together.

My mother says if I would work harder, I'd lose weight faster. She says I unfortunately lose focus from the goal easily. I would have taken offense in the past, but suppose she's right. I've gotta work harder. Just as soon as I get some rest.
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Old 07-29-2013, 05:52 PM   #33
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Did my measurement s. Posting with one hand while my daughter snoozes on my lap.

B51 W52 H58

Weight 299

My goal weight right now is 250 because for my height it is the next bmi category down: obese.

For now I am pushing towards 290.
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Old 07-30-2013, 06:43 AM   #34
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Started off the morning with egg salad on a slice of wheat bread. It did not settle well however, as my stomach hurt for a while.

I'm at the specialist's office, waiting for my root canal. There is no one here to pick me up, depending on what time I'm done. I decided I'm going to take advantage and try to make the six mile walk home. I'll just take my time and see what happens.

I'm wearing a pair of jeans I got for seven dollars at bcf. They are a 24w. I knew they were a little big but got them anyway because the seven dollar price tag. I'm not so sure it was a good idea anymore. They are not falling off but they are kind of long and I had to roll them up a little. Oh well.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:15 PM   #35
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I walked about 2.5 miles in about two hours. Oh my goodness. I need to walk more because I'm so fat and slow it took me that long. Another goal to set.
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Old 07-31-2013, 04:29 AM   #36
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I feel yucky today. My face hurts and my mouth is sore. Bah!

My goal for fitness today is to chip off some of the mess I came home to. Hubby is a disaster, and while I was away our home became a hovel. Le sigh.
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Old 07-31-2013, 07:30 PM   #37
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Another day zipped by and I'm on the couch wondering where the day went.
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Old 08-01-2013, 06:00 AM   #38
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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Make AUGUST be your month! You can do this. Get focused on you, YOU Deserve it!
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Old 08-01-2013, 10:10 AM   #39
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Today I wanted to walk to get food at lunch, but it's raining. I've got to go food shopping now that I'm home, but haven't done so yet and didn't have my staples to make salad with for lunch. That's why I didn't bring anything from home except protein powder.

I love soda. I could probab drink it with nothing else all day. I love that fizzy feeling. It is my downfall. I'm drinking diet soda because I've had intense soda cravings but id like to eliminate it completely.
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Old 08-03-2013, 11:04 PM   #40
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Friday I went to a family friend's home and spent the afternoon at their pool. I swam laps and dove into the deep end many times. It was a really nice evening.

Today I did laundry and food shopping with my husband. I also walked while my dear son rode his scooter for about half an hour.

Tomorrow I need to straighten up my home some. I have very little motivation to do so with my monthly visitor over. I did not miss this the years I was on depo and pregnant. Meh.
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Old 08-05-2013, 06:43 AM   #41
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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I love POP! I drink Coke Zero. I drink a lot of it too, but I also always drink 1 gallon of water a day too!

You got your shopping done, way to go! Tonight, I have to go to the store. WE have nothing at the house. Felt bad leaving the kids at home today...with nothing! THankfully there's milk/cereal/protein shakes/ramen noodles!
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Old 08-05-2013, 10:48 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zipp2play View Post
I love POP! I drink Coke Zero. I drink a lot of it too, but I also always drink 1 gallon of water a day too!

You got your shopping done, way to go! Tonight, I have to go to the store. WE have nothing at the house. Felt bad leaving the kids at home today...with nothing! THankfully there's milk/cereal/protein shakes/ramen noodles!
Lol! Yeah, ramen and cereal are good. Having an empty fridge annoys me. It's like having bags full of laundry.

I have to drink more water. I might start mising soda with water again like I used to.
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Old 08-05-2013, 11:00 AM   #43
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I had trouble sleeping last night. But it's Monday and I'm here at the office. I brought a frozen stouffer's entree, chicken breast with mashed potato. I heard the voice of the old me giggle that it wasn't enough food. It was fine.

I'm not weighing because I've got my monthly and I don't want to see the increase. It will leave me bothered.

I'm so tired so I took an iron supplement. I haven't taken them since I gave birth but I feel so drastically tired that it wouldn't surprise me to know that my period is messing with my iron level.

I'm hoping to take a walk with my son this evening if I can't convince my mother. What I really need to do is go tidy the apartment, but realistically I'm pretty sure it's not getting done.

I've broken down crying a few times because a baby died on the news. My heart goes out to her family. I don't want to be intrusive so I just pray for her soul and for her family. If I try to imagine myself in their shoes, I cry harder.

I can't wait for bed.
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Old 08-06-2013, 05:55 AM   #44
Way too much time on my hands!
 
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OH any childs death is tragic! Did you sleep well?
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Old 09-27-2013, 02:58 PM   #45
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Start Date: September 13, 2013
Sorry I haven't posted lately. Sometimes I fall off track, hence my weight, and then I avoid coming on here because I don't want to be reminded that I'm failing. But, even though I failed again, I am back again I have been low carbing for a few days now, and have decided that if I really crave something with carbs in it, I will do just a little bit. I am pretty good over those types of cravings. Here we go again. I see you are doing well, even though you haven't posted in about a month. I hope the kids are doing good. How is your walking going? I haven't gotten the courage up to start going outside to walk. I am always afraid people will look at me and laugh.
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