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Old 02-14-2014, 06:02 AM   #121
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OH I completely understand! Sometimes passing is like that, honestly better for the person and those around them! Happier, healthier and with his LOVE!!!!

I think, given the circumstances, YOU Have done GREAT Don't beat yourself up! Keep going on the positive! This WILL be a GREAT YEAR for us all!

Happy Valentine's day girl
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Old 02-14-2014, 07:24 AM   #122
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It is hard to have all those mixed emotions when someone older and ill passes. Relief, guilt, grief, missing.

Hope you are able to have a nice Valentine's Day, despite the sadness.
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Old 02-17-2014, 06:42 AM   #123
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How goes it?
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Old 02-19-2014, 09:48 AM   #124
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Been busy with being out of town for the funeral and catching up at work after the snow days last week. JUDDD is just okay. Will post more later.
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Old 02-19-2014, 11:47 AM   #125
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thinking of you girl!
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Old 02-21-2014, 06:50 AM   #126
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What a crazy couple weeks its been! Getting back on track and I am 197.8 today. Now I gotta keep steady to get past 197.

Today I am fasting and this weekend I am spending at a cabin with 10 of my friends. So tomorrow I will let myself have a little more fun and then back at it on Sunday for a DD. Hoping to get some hikes in this weekend too for some exercise.

In other news my sweet Milly (my pup) is heading to doggy boarding school today for 4-6 weeks. I am going to miss her so so much. But on the upside hopefully she will be a well rounded pup when she returns

Also it will be a little easier on me to get more intense workouts in. I find myself settling for walks since she can do those with me and I don't make it to the gym as much as I would like. She goes everywhere with me (I know, its bad, shes like my baby) and so its hard to hit the gym before or after work without having to take her home first after work or taking her to work early in the morning before the gym and crating her while I am at the gym. So hopefully I can make a lot of progress in this next 4 weeks! And then once she is back and better trained it will be easier to leave her (even though I won't want to!)

Thank you all for your well wishes. We are doing okay here despite our loss. My mom's birthday was this past week so that was hard on her but overall I am really proud of how strong she is being. I hope I can be so strong one day when one of my parents passes.
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:47 AM   #127
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Oh gosh, I've never been separated from a doggie for that long! That's gotta be hard, but you're smart to take full advantage of the time. Have a great weekend with friends - it sounds fun!
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:45 AM   #128
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I would be lying if I said I didn't cry when I said goodbye!

I didn't want to have to send her away but our trainer that was coming in home has some family things she has to deal with and is unavailable for the time being out of town caring for her mother.

Also, in the next 6 weeks I will be out of town this weekend, two more weekends for weddings, another for work, plus 8 days when I go to the Dominican Republic, so it just seemed like a smart decision to make since I would be having to board her a lot anyway. So she is actually going back to the breeder she came from and staying in their trainer's home. So this way she isn't traditionally boarded while I am gone and still gets her training!
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:15 AM   #129
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OH I am sure it did make you sad. My new dog is at a trainer for a week. I miss her like crazy!
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:15 AM   #130
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Your up coming schedule is a little maddening!
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:24 AM   #131
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zipp2play View Post
OH I am sure it did make you sad. My new dog is at a trainer for a week. I miss her like crazy!
What type of dog is she?

Being away this weekend I missed her but just like I usually would when she stays with my mom when I have been gone. Coming home and her not being there on Sunday was so hard and then again this morning when I woke up. Thursday I will get a video from the trainer so I am counting down the days!
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:37 AM   #132
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My weekend in the mountains was a lot of fun. It was really nice to catch up with all my friends that I don't see as much as I would want now that I have moved back in with my parents.

Friday I did really well. Not perfect but I was still really proud of myself. Even though I said I wasn't going to go off program in the back of my mind I really thought that would probably go out the window when I got there.

After a stressful trip through the woods finding the house by myself, I arrived and did have one drink. Still managed to have a great time and didn't even feel tempted or sad that I couldn't have more to drink or eat. Probably was a 600-700 cal day. Not too terribly bad considering.

The next day was definitely an UP day. Probably more like an up up and away day. Still I am okay with this. Just gotta keep my rotations going. If thats all I can do in these tougher situations then I am still happy about that. Woke up and had a couple mimosas in the hot tub, went for a walk, and just relaxed. Eating wasn't all that bad but when the real trouble came in was the wine.

Had close to two bottle of Malbec from late afternoon/early evening until bed

Expected to wake up feeling like death yesterday and didn't. Waited all day for the hang over to start and it didn't. Still trying to figure out how I did that.

Yesterday wasn't an ideal DD. More like a MD. Today I am changing the rotation up and making today a DD so that M-W-F-Sun can be my fast days this week. I have a bachelorette weekend in Charleston and I think that rotation will be best for a successful weekend.
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:44 AM   #133
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Also, I forgot to mention last week, my bridesmaid dress came in. It didn't fit. Fits everywhere besides around my boobs. Even if I wanted to order a new dress it wouldn't get here in time. Paying extra for rush cut is still an 8-10 week wait. Probably closer to 10 since it is the busy season.

I had to order extra fabric and they will add a panel under my arms. They seem pretty confident it will work out just fine but it still sucks. Still hoping to get to 190 by the wedding but at least the dress thing is behind me (almost) and I don't have to stress about that too much.
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Old 02-24-2014, 07:07 AM   #134
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Revised Goals

I am changing my goals up a little bit. I still want to try and get a good chunk down by April. With my pup being away I think I have no excuses and should be able to narrow my focus in and at least get pretty darn close. From there on I am going to slow things down. Well they can go as fast as they want, but just want to be moving in a downward motion and I will be happy.

190- Beths Wedding 4/5
185- Counterpoint Music Festival 4/26
170- 9/1

My goal weight for now is 170. I think I will want to probably lose about 10-15 more but I really don't know. My goal weight was always 147. When I was 170 before I thought I was so so gross/fat. Now when I look back at myself at 170 I think I looked pretty damn good. I think 147 may be a little too low for my frame. So I will reevaluate when I get to 170.

This was me at about 175-180. Couldn't find any photos of me on my computer here at work from when I was 170.





The summer these pictures were taken I was so depressed because I had gained the 5-10 pounds and thought I looked terrible. Looking back I can see I didn't look all that bad. Thats hindsight for ya. The terrible thing too is that the depression from the small gain is what probably led to the larger gain... won't let that happen again.
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Old 02-24-2014, 07:58 AM   #135
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You look great in those photos! You're right that we never have any perspective about where we actually are at any given moment. I've done the same thing. And remember, if you do get lots more exercise in while pup is away, you may not hit the pound goals, but size goals may be vastly different!
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Old 02-24-2014, 11:21 AM   #136
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DD is a success so far. Trying to fight through the work day and have nothing until after I get home. Usually I have some cottage cheese or a small snack around this time.

I have dubbed this day a how low can you go day for me. Or, HLCYGD

I think I will try to keep calories below 250. I have had about 30 in half and half and that is all so far. So maybe some cottage cheese when I get home and that be the end of it.
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:21 PM   #137
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Today had been my best DD yet. ever. At 9pm I had only had about 100 calories for the day. I wasn't hungry. I hadn't had any cravings or temptation but for some reason I felt like I needed to eat. No reason at all.

I just had some soup which probably takes my calories up to 300 for the day. Still probably my best DD both by calories and also how I feel. So that is motivating!
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Old 02-25-2014, 05:54 AM   #138
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Way to ROCK the DD girl!

My dog that is at the trainers this week is a Chihuahua. She is the typical Chihuahua too. Thinks the is BIG MAN ON CAMPUS. She just needs to learn, she is NOT the boss!

I am sure coming home was the toughest. you did great this weekend. I struggle the day after I drink not eating. It makes it really hard for me to stay focused. I never have a hang over, but man, I am HUNGRY!
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Old 02-25-2014, 05:54 AM   #139
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Love your pictures girl! Hindsight is 20/20. Don't we all wish we could go back to that time where we thought...just 10 more pounds and yet, should have considered it GOAL
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Old 02-25-2014, 06:22 AM   #140
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199.6 this morning after my great dd

Whatever, my own doing, I drank two bottles of wine this weekend after all. I got this!

I am hoping to get back to 197 by Friday. Please please please. Gotta work hard. I just have another crazy weekend coming up (Bachelorette weekend in Charleston) and need at the very least some cushion in case I do bounce back up after the weekend. I am done with the 200s and do not want to them ever again. In the words of Taylor Swift, we are never, ever, ever, getting back together. So many little quips I have these days.

So on to the UD, which of course is freaking me out considering I am only .4 pounds less than I was Yesterday morning. Going to have a very controlled UD.

I'm thinking...

B- Cottage Cheese and coffee with half and half (120 cal)
L- Wendy's Chili and a side salad (350 cal)
D- Salmon and cous cous with some veggies (550 cal)

Ugh this isn't quite a UD. I need at least 600 more calories. We will see..


In other news... I only cried twice yesterday because I missed my pup. I really never ever thought it would be this hard. I feel like an idiot. I guess it is different this time because she is the first dog that I have had where I am the sole parent and am completely responsible for its well being. On top of the fact that she literally has gone almost everywhere with me since I got her in November. I am trying to not bug the trainer so much so I haven't checked in since Sunday morning. I think I will today. Counting down till I get a video on Thursday!
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Old 02-25-2014, 07:21 AM   #141
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WTG on that good DD! Once you get a really good one like that under your belt, it helps you see what is possible. Somehow that makes DDs easier, even when they don't wind up as great as that one, you know you CAN have days like that again.

Oh, I know you must be missing pup. That would be excruciating. And no, you're NOT an idiot for feeling that way. They are our kids, after all!

Have a great day. Hope you get to talk to the trainer!
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Old 02-25-2014, 08:09 AM   #142
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So tonight I have agreed to go to Weight Watchers with my mom. She has really been struggling and needs the support. I really don't want to go but she has done so much for me. Obviously as my mom but also in my journey of weight loss and being overweight as a child and helping me overcome it.

She means so very much to me. I really feel like she has given me life not just once but twice. One day I am going to write up my story to post.

Anyway, so I am going to go to weight watchers with her. I havent figured out how I am going to WW with her while really doing something different that works for me but I am going to figure something out. She has expressed interest in JUDDDing and I would really like her to try it. She mentioned when she first asked me to do WW a couple weeks ago with her that maybe we could do JUDDD sort of but with WW. To me that doesn't make a lot of sense but I think for her she needs the support of a program and having to weigh in every week in person with someone etc. So I may try to see if she wants to try that and we can figure out how many points to do on an UD and how many for a DD.
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Old 02-25-2014, 08:52 PM   #143
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Weigh Watchers was a lot better than I thought it would be. I actually enjoyed the meeting and think it will be good to weigh in once a week and have some support.

I have decided I am not going to be counting points. I will just go to weigh in and all that jazz with my mom. It just seems like an extra step to count points on JUDDD.

Tonight I went out to eat with my family. I wasn't very hungry at all! I was full after having about a fourth of our appetizer (~200 cal, entire app was 800 and there was 4 of us) and a slice of bread with butter (~150cal?). I had maybe 3 bites of my salad, a quarter of my mashed potatoes (~120cal) and just a bite of my chicken and I was absolutely stuffed. So around 500 calories and accounting for a 20 percent margin of error that is still only 600 calories for dinner. A while after dinner I had a little dessert that probably was close to 300 calories. So for the entire day I am only at about 1,500 calories. I don't know if thats okay or not. Do I really need the other calories? I don't feel like I do so I will not worry about it.
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Old 02-26-2014, 04:58 AM   #144
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198.5 this morning. Pretty pleased with that. My plan for today is to do like Monday. Try to get through the work day on nothing and eat a little something tonight.

Also, just realized that it has been over a month since I have been JUDDDing this time. Only down about 4 pounds down from when I started to post again around 5 weeks ago. I am pretty happy with that considering all the bumps in the road I have had. I think this is the most consistent I have ever been with JUDDD. I have definitely fallen off the wagon but just about every time I was able to pick myself up pretty quickly so that is nice.

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Old 02-26-2014, 07:45 AM   #145
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I'd say you're doing just great!
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Old 02-26-2014, 05:00 PM   #146
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I gotta say. Today has been a really really wonderful and motivating DD.

I have only had a couple DDs like this ever and they were last year when I was doing really well on JUDDD. Monday was good, but it still wasn't an overall wonderful day like today.

Today I had so much energy and was so alert all day. Didn't even think about food the entire day. Just felt overall wonderful. Hard to explain really.

I got home from work and still wasn't tempted to eat or even very hungry. I did go out to fill my car up with gas and ended up in the wendy's drive thru getting something for my brother. I really wanted a cheeseburger. I debated it. I could have gone without it and if I had I probably wouldn't have had anything at all tonight. But I ended up letting myself have it. Jr. Cheeseburger. 290 calories. It was worth it.

That leaves me at 320 calories for today total. Not a bad DD. I love JUDDD. That was the first time I ever considered something indulgent on a DD. Well, I have gone overboard on days that were supposed to be DD and then ended up not being a down day in the end but today is probably the first time I have realized that I can have indulgences and still be on plan even on my down days. Its a pretty good feeling.

Not something I want to do all the time. Overall I am trying to eat healthy foods and JUDDD at the same time but the great thing about JUDDD is having the flexibility to have indulgences here and there and remaining on plan.

Thats all.
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Old 02-27-2014, 06:35 AM   #147
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You had a GREAT DD! Way to go girl! I think weighing in at WW's and following JUDDD is a great idea. The scale will hold you accountable. Plus at WW's, they have some GREAT low calories they share. Great for DD's!!!!

How was the weigh in today???
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Old 02-27-2014, 06:36 AM   #148
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what is the plan for the party this weekend? WHere are you all going/doing?
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Old 02-27-2014, 08:25 AM   #149
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zipp2play View Post
You had a GREAT DD! Way to go girl! I think weighing in at WW's and following JUDDD is a great idea. The scale will hold you accountable. Plus at WW's, they have some GREAT low calories they share. Great for DD's!!!!

How was the weigh in today???

197.8! I think seeing 197 again is good motivation for me to keep things pretty tight this weekend. I have been toying with 197-200 for way too long. Don't want to do it again. Would like to be 198.5 max on Monday morning after a Sunday DD.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zipp2play View Post
what is the plan for the party this weekend? WHere are you all going/doing?
Well, we are leaving early tomorrow morning and heading to Isle of Palm in South Carolina, just outside of Charleston. Friday night we are going to dinner in Charleston and then heading out on the town.

Saturday is a brunch, lingerie shower and then heading to the beach for some music and drinks where there is also a surprise. I think we are going out on a boat or something of that sort.. we will see. Only one person knows what the surprise is right now. Dinner at the house we are staying at and we will see what transpires from there.

It should be a fun weekend, but its hard to be completely excited about it just because life is so so busy right now. Once I get there I am sure it will be great! I just still have so much to do today to prepare on top of thinking about what needs to get done when I get back etc.

As far as Juddd goes I am going to try to fast the entire day until Dinner tomorrow. I have already browsed the menu of where we are eating and have picked out a couple small things that look good. I have accepted it wont be a DD but I want to keep it fairly medium. So I will probably have a little side salad or something and maybe a couple grilled shrimp. Then we will be going out so I am going to try to sip on a couple low cal drinks at the bars and just really keep my numbers as low as possible.

Saturday is a scheduled UD but I want to try to keep it lower than usual to compensate for the extra I will be having on Friday. So really moderation is going to be key this weekend. I don't want to go overboard on anything. No drinking two bottles of wine on my own or anything like that!

It is really important for me to not come back from this weekend 200 pounds but it is also important for me to really enjoy the weekend and celebrate with my best friend that is getting married. I know we can still have fun by not drinking/eating but this also just isnt a normal weekend trip with the girls so I am going to try to settle somewhere in the middle. I feel pretty confident heading in so we will see what happens!
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Old 02-27-2014, 12:08 PM   #150
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It sounds like a plan girl! Don't fret it too much! LIFE HAPPENS! Remember, ENJOY yourself!
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