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Old 04-30-2014, 08:27 AM   #1261
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I love that you've dipped into the IE idea, Blonde! It's so much more fun and helpful to have buddies to talk it over with, and explore all the feelings with.
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:30 AM   #1262
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Carol it's a Hail Mary...I can't seem to do anything else with any success at the moment. You know how 'cheating' and 'failing' make you feel so bad about yourself. I'm so tired of feeling bad about myself.

Danielle ~ Some peace would be welcome.

You both!!
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Old 04-30-2014, 10:07 AM   #1263
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Blonde so excited to see how this journey into IE goes for you! I feel like I wouldn't know where to begin with it, but I guess the book is written for people who feel the same way. Can't wait to hear about your experiences with it!

And yes there's nothing worse than feeling like you failed on a diet, and then trying to find the motivation to start back up again. Unfortunately for most of us it's a feeling we're all too used to.
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Old 04-30-2014, 05:55 PM   #1264
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Thanks DeeDee! It's a little scary and not what one would call fast results, but I never have fast results anymore. The "Taming the Hungry Beast" thread is awesome and offers great support.

Today I had a hair appointment to go to right after work and I was starving. I stopped at VONS along the way and got two chicken tenders and a container mac n cheese. Yes mac n cheese. I ate both tenders and 1/2 the mac...I listened and I was full. Normally I would have eaten three or four tenders and all the mac n cheese, maybe even would have bought a bigger container of it. It was good. Planning chicken and roasted baby golden potatoes for dinner.

Juddding for so long I know when I'm hungry, even now, almost 4 hours later I don't feel hungry. I could eat if I want but I don't...because I can...if I want...if I'm hungry. You dig?

Good stuff.
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Old 04-30-2014, 05:57 PM   #1265
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Taming The Hungry Beast

This is the link, DeeDee if you want to check it out or lurk or read up. You don't have to, I want you to hang out with us here anyway. Just in case your curious.
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Old 04-30-2014, 06:24 PM   #1266
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Sounds like it was quite the great day

I am still amazed at just how little it takes to get to satisfied when I am listening to the right signals.....shocking really.
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Old 05-01-2014, 05:58 AM   #1267
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You are doing really well! Keep it up girl!
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Old 05-01-2014, 06:16 AM   #1268
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Taming The Hungry Beast

This is the link, DeeDee if you want to check it out or lurk or read up. You don't have to, I want you to hang out with us here anyway. Just in case your curious.
It's so funny you should link to this, because I stayed up late last night reading the first ten pages of that thread. I'm going to finish the rest today and subscribe. It's fascinating and I'm loving reading about people's experiences, but I have to admit, it kind of frightens me.
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:35 AM   #1269
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That thread has just exploded with activity! I'm trying to really ease into the whole mindset, and let my habits shift gently. I feel that if I force myself to do it, it will just feel like another diet. But gently shifting, maybe I can make it a habit and feel really natural.

I agree Danielle, it's amazing how little food will actually satisfy our body hunger. It's appetite I think we all struggle with, but we can learn to deal with that better.

Blonde, that feeling of failure is the WORST. And I don't want that for you, or for any of us!
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Old 05-02-2014, 08:23 AM   #1270
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Yes it's a fast and furious thread...I like that! I'm a little nervous too Carol, about trusting myself. I think it's okay to eat what you feel is good for your body personally and not be on a specific diet. It's a major switch up mentally for sure.

This morning I dragged out an old hypnosis CD and got in my easy chair, listened, followed along and agreed to the suggestions. The most wonderful part is that when it was over I felt more relaxed than I have been in over a month. It was such a good feeling. The cd goes along with the 'diets don't work' ethic and guides to eating what you want but eating less, which is what we are doing with IE. It also has suggestions of healthful choices, something I try to do because it's more...healthful. I think the combination will help me to be more successful. I really have stopped worrying (sorta) about pounds per se...and am working on the 'living' in myself aspect of food.

Yesterday at Souplantation I filled up really fast on salad. I had a tiny amount of dessert and when I left I felt I had overeaten, and that I can do better. And I will. I also 'feel' like I ate more dinner than necessary because it tasted so good. Living and learning minute by minute.

Lordy it is so hot here lately, who in the world wants to cook?

On another note, my eldest DD had declared war on cheese for the month of May to see just how much it affecting her weight.
She says she's not touching it, real, fake or low fat. No Cheese for her.
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Old 05-02-2014, 09:10 AM   #1271
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I don't know I could live without cheese!!! Then again, I thought the same about gluten!
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Old 05-02-2014, 09:17 AM   #1272
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I LOVE cheese so much! But then I'll find I've gone several days without any and so I wonder if I could give it up. I don't think I'll try. Good luck to DD though!

A place like Souplantation would be so hard to eat just enough to satisfy. There's so much good stuff, and you really do have this crazy feeling of wanting to get your money's worth. I think I may avoid buffets and salad bars as much as possible while I'm learning this.

Sorry the heat is getting to you. I guess I'm just feeling resigned to it this year. It's coming. I can't stop it. I hate it. But I'd rather be here where it's hot and dry, then back in the Midwest where it's hot and humid.
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Old 05-02-2014, 02:46 PM   #1273
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Carol true dat! I'd take dry heat over humidity any day of the week!

Just taking a moment to make some observations about my eating today. I've had a package of Vita-Tops carrot cake muffins in my freezer for quite awhile. I've never opened the box or touched any of them. This morning I had one warm with a small spoon of raspberry jam...something else that only DH gets for breakfast. I ate it with a fork. It was pretty good, and I was hungry. When I originally bought them I thought I would not be able to stop eating them until the box was gone. I ate one only w/jam and I was good to go. I asked myself about hunger and I wasn't.

My lunch was kinda weird but it's what I wanted. I came home starving from my nail appointment (I know but I'm a server, I need nice nails). I put a cup of sugar snap peas in the microwave and ate them with salt. I was still hungry so I ate a banana with chunky peanut butter...just a tablespoon. Now I'm full.

Dinner is in three hours, it's so hot my plan is for turkey sammies, grilled w/pepper jack cheese & tomato and maybe a few potato chips...and possibly watermelon IF I'm still hungry but I won't be...

So far this is kinda fun.
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Old 05-03-2014, 07:41 AM   #1274
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Wow, sounds good! Isn't it amazing how little can really satisfy us when we pay attention? It's alarming that it becomes "normal" to ignore all those signals, and even ignore what we're eating most of the time. WTG!
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Old 05-03-2014, 10:31 AM   #1275
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Carol, it's cool and scary to try to trust myself. I've spent a couple hours this morning reading the Nook version of the 'having your cupcake and skinny jeans too"...or whatever it's called. It's a little after 10am and I just had an egg sandwich for breakfast and made one just like it for DH. I ate the whole thing but had no need for anything else right now.

One of the things she talks about is how diets cause an unnatural preoccupation of food...books, TVshows, magazines & menu's, also how telling yourself to NOT think about certain foods will make you think about them way more than normal. Study after study is cited in the book and really enlightening. Some of this stuff I already 'believed' but now I have scientific proof.

One meal at time, when I'm hungry. For now that's all I have to go on. It's enough for now.

How are you doing?
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Old 05-04-2014, 08:18 AM   #1276
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OMG~ To be free of food being my every waking thought, to not be the first thing on my mind in the morning or the last at night...never really understanding until now how it ruled my day...what, when where will I eat? How much, how little, how many can I have? How good, how bad, how perfect will I be today?

Dieting is depressing. I never knew that. I thought being fat was depressing and dieting would save me...I was so wrong. Not dieting is going to save me. If I'm not dieting then i can live my life. Look to other endeavors. Dieting has been in my daily life for so long it seems ludicrous to think I could ditch it in one day. But I did, Gone like the wind, blown away somewhere far from me...never to return Ever. My promise to myself. I will live my life...not die-t. Never again.
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Old 05-04-2014, 09:40 AM   #1277
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I just love this!
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Old 05-04-2014, 02:18 PM   #1278
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Warning: Food porn

Today: Today DH asked if I wanted to go out to breakfast. I said yes. I didn't care where we went, I knew there would be something to eat. Did I ponder waffles? No. Did I think about omelets? No. I thought about my hunger and I was grateful to not have to cook this morning. We went to the golf course! They have a nice little restaurant, smallish and we sat outside. The weather was perfect, warm with a cool breeze. I looked over the menu. Many great choices. I ordered the eggs over easy with corned beef hash, hash browns and sourdough toast. I ate a bite of each food and thought about how good it tasted. I chewed slowly and with deliberate joy. I left food on my plate! A little of each thing and all of the 'crust' from the sourdough. I only wanted the buttery middles. As i moved toward fullness (satisfaction) each food tasted 'not as delicious as the first bites so I stopped. First I left some eggs. Then I left some hash browns, then the CB Hash and finally the toast crusts. I put a dab of orange marmalade on the last buttery middle...it tasted like honey and flowers and oranges. Perfect ending to breakfast. I haven't used marmalade in years and years. We ate at 10am, it's now 2:20pm and I'm not hungry yet.

Happiness abounds.

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Old 05-04-2014, 02:30 PM   #1279
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This is so exciting! It sounds like a perfect day. And to think, maybe everyday could be as good and without the stress and obsession but all the enjoyment? It does almost sound too good to be true but I am thrilled for you that your day was so great.
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Old 05-04-2014, 02:44 PM   #1280
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Sounds like a perfect Sunday morning. We eat breakfast out every Sunday. Today I had a 1/2 order of eggs Benedict and a cup of fresh fruit. That was plenty. I left most of the Hollandaise sauce. It was yummy, but too much for one egg. We were also sitting outside right by the waters edge, our normal Sunday hangout!
I have been reading all of the IE posts and hope it will work for me, too. I'm tired of trying to decide what is proper to eat all of the time. I still like to wait until later in the day to eat and just eat less a couple of days a week, but have less of whatever I want!

Let's hope this works for all of us that seem to be trying this right now.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, Blonde.
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Old 05-04-2014, 04:08 PM   #1281
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Hi Blonde! Just found your journal. I've LOVED your comments in my journal. So pleased this is resonating with you!
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Old 05-05-2014, 06:14 AM   #1282
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your breakfast sounds amazing! Eating outside is so fun!
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Old 05-05-2014, 06:31 AM   #1283
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This is so exciting! It sounds like a perfect day. And to think, maybe everyday could be as good and without the stress and obsession but all the enjoyment? It does almost sound too good to be true but I am thrilled for you that your day was so great.
DeeDee ~ I know, it does seem too good to be true, but this is where it's taking me. I'm a naturally happy person, but I have beat myself up for so long about my weight and lack of willpower. Reading the book is showing me that I'm not alone in this. Numerous Studies showing how dieting can destroy your confidence and well being...studies! When I started reading that I was astonished and a little bit angry. I'm done with recriminations. Maybe it's my age, but I want to live my life, not spend it chasing the 'scale' and hating myself for not being even close to perfect. Of course I still want to lose weight. If I lose any weight at all, it's a bonus!

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Sounds like a perfect Sunday morning. We eat breakfast out every Sunday. Today I had a 1/2 order of eggs Benedict and a cup of fresh fruit. That was plenty. I left most of the Hollandaise sauce. It was yummy, but too much for one egg. We were also sitting outside right by the waters edge, our normal Sunday hangout!
I have been reading all of the IE posts and hope it will work for me, too. I'm tired of trying to decide what is proper to eat all of the time. I still like to wait until later in the day to eat and just eat less a couple of days a week, but have less of whatever I want!

Let's hope this works for all of us that seem to be trying this right now.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, Blonde.
My favorite time to eat is in the company of my favorite people. It seems to taste better and satisfy more. I want to work this HDE/IE thing with all my heart, bottom line...it's me...I'm trusting myself, my instincts to do what's best for me. I already feel so much better letting go of the rules and regulations. If I'm not breaking rules I can't beat myself up. Listening to my hunger signals and fullness cues is enough for me at this time. AND the biggest thing? Not having diet motivated FOOD OBSESSION. That was killing my psyche and I didn't even know it...until I stopped. thinking. about. my. diet.

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Hi Blonde! Just found your journal. I've LOVED your comments in my journal. So pleased this is resonating with you!
Thank you so much. Finding your thread was the best thing to ever happen to me here on LCF. I know I'm in the throws of success and happiness...I know I may falter and doubt (maybe)...but I don't think so. This here is healthy thinking, positive thinking. Notice I'm not saying "I'm really gonna lose some weight on the program"? Cuz right now, I honestly don't care about that. I'm so thrilled with feeling good, about myself and my future, about living my life ...NOT in a 'food coma', not in a 'dieting rut', not in a 'confused by my scale not budging' exasperation...not in a "maybe I should eat stuff I hate because they say it helps lose weight" frame of mind. NO restrictions at all, just listen to my hunger cues and fullness cues and trust myself to stop when I'm full. I feel alive.

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Old 05-05-2014, 06:54 AM   #1284
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"Thank you so much. Finding your thread was the best thing to ever happen to me here on LCF. I know I'm in the throws of success and happiness...I know I may falter and doubt (maybe)...but I don't think so. This here is healthy thinking, positive thinking. Notice I'm not saying "I'm really gonna lose some weight on the program"? Cuz right now, I honestly don't care about that. I'm so thrilled with feeling good, about myself and my future, about living my life ...NOT in a 'food coma', not in a 'dieting rut', not in a 'confused by my scale not budging' exasperation...not in a "maybe I should eat stuff I hate because they say it helps lose weight" frame of mind. NO restrictions at all, just listen to my hunger cues and fullness cues and trust myself to stop when I'm full. I feel alive."

I feel the same. Beautifully said, Blonde.
I also wonder whether age makes it easier. Add another decade or two of restraint/excess/self-loathing and see if freedom doesn't become SO attractive that it's worth more than anything, even weight loss.
This doesn't mean weight loss isn't happening, it just isn't as important as FREEDOM.

(Speaking of which, I have to watch it every time I notice i'm getting leaner or I wonder whether it's time for my smaller pants. Each of these thoughts is SO connected to my restraint/excess neural pathways that it can put me back on the rollercoaster. It's very exciting to contemplate sitting with these connections and allowing them to dissipate.)
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Old 05-05-2014, 08:01 AM   #1285
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Hey Blonde,
I'm in final rewrites of a play that's being done for a second audience this week. One of the characters is a compulsive eater. She shoves pastry into her mouth as an anaesthetic and as a substitute for living.
I love her.
Don't know why I'm bringing this up, except that something in your misery and frustration followed by your great and joyful release around this subject is heartbreaking in the best way possible.
Thanks for communicating your story so vividly.
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Old 05-05-2014, 08:12 AM   #1286
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I do think age is a factor, in being able to embrace these new concepts of freedom from dieting. I have decades of failure, and I don't know if I would have believed in this unless I had proof already. Weight loss is important to me, but this feeling I'm having...so much more important. I've made a promise to myself to read and explore and practice HDE. Ha! Blonde~unchained. Maybe the title of my next journal....

I'm excited for your new play! You know when you mentioned my response to all of this as being heartbreaking in the best possible way, it brought tears to my eyes. You are so right. It is. Relief and release...from despair.

In the book Josie talks about how much brain space is taken up by the all consuming quest for weight loss. The counts, the planning, the lists of bad stuff not to eat, the angst and fear and holding onto intangible results. I actually feel my spaces opening up and preparing for the good stuff that can come from living my life.
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Old 05-05-2014, 09:16 AM   #1287
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Wow, Blonde! Your post about Sunday breakfast just made me so happy! You have got this. And even if you falter, you'll have that experience to remember that you CAN do it, and how great it feels. You're giving me great hope that I can too.

Kristin, I do think age has a lot to do with it. When I was younger and wanted to lose a few, I trusted my body could do it easily. I didn't always do it in a smart way, but I felt my body was invincible and would obey. As I got a little older, my body seemed to be fighting my efforts. I realize now it was doing what it was supposed to do with what I was putting it through. Now I know my body will do the right thing. I just have to give it the help it needs. My higher brain knows this. But will my crazy, screwed up, diet-obsessed, mind cooperate? Time will tell.
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Old 05-05-2014, 02:43 PM   #1288
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Carol~ Know what to do with that crazy, screwed up, diet-obsessed mind? Let it go....let it all go. Be free. Then your body can work it's magic, and you'll have peace...and maybe Bliss. I have bliss. Blissfully free of obsession. This is with me now all the time. I do have to rethink at times, to remember that I'm not in control of my hunger, my body is in control and if I let it, it'll do the right thing as long as I listen and don't try to second guess myself.

Today I had a low carb shake on the way to work. Why? I wasn't truly hungry til I went out the door and felt a tad icky because of it. I grabbed it from the fridge, drank it slowly on the way to work. When I got to work, I felt good and ready to go. I'm not going to spend every breath talking about the food I'm now eating, I just want to convey how I feel about it. It was food. It was good. It was filling and satisfying. The end.

I had a late lunch with my youngest DD. She had salad and a side of salmon, I had eggplant parm & spaghetti with a side of soup. i ate all the soup. I ate half the eggplant and just a few bites of the spaghetti. I was full and happy not to be eating alone. What's for dinner? I don't know..and I don't care. Gotta love that!

I have found myself ordering smaller portions or less food because I don't like to waste and also with the knowledge that whatever it is, it's gonna fill me up anyway. I know I only need so much to become full and I'm okay with it.

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Old 05-06-2014, 05:48 AM   #1289
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Stats: 206/176/164 5'8"
WOE: JUDDD
You are doing so well. I am anxiously watching how you all do with IE! I am not sure it is something I could ever do, but I will watch and learn from you all....then try it out if I feel comfortable!
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Old 05-06-2014, 06:58 AM   #1290
Very Gabby LCF Member!!!
 
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Southern California
Posts: 3,618
Stats: 240/229.8/125
WOE: Low Carb
Start Date: (Juddd 2010)
Monica ~I'm not sure if it is for everyone. Getting to this point, everything I've done for the last few years has prepared me for this. It has to be embraced and it shouldn't be too hard to do, if you are ready. I am thankful everyday that I was guided to the thread that started this whole thing. I can't put into words the relief I feel and the hope that I have. So much is going on in my life (as you know) and it was making me crazy. Trying to cope, trying to stay on my diet, faltering everyday and berating myself for my weakness. This HDE thing, I have taken to my heart and my spirit. Simply allowing myself room to breathe and to take away all the bad feelings and failings. to start fresh with a new perspective. I've said it over and over...I feel free.
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