Big Changes

[SweetMe678]

I see all these people who have done so well on this site! I am jealous and hopeful. Years ago in my mid twenties I was very successful with Atkins. I went from 320 down to 265. I got derailed due to being in an abusive relationship and suffering from untreated depression. A lot of the WOE stuck with me through the years though.

Fast forward to today, I am now in my mid 30's and as of last November at my highest weight ever 354. I allowed my weight to creep up over the last two and half years due to chronic illness and a tragic death in my family that I did not cope well with. I have not weighed myself since starting Atkins then. I took a two month break in Jan and Feb, due to exhaustion and rationalizations. I was still losing weight, due to a change in jobs and activity level. Then that stopped losing weight and I re-inducted successfully mid-march.

I have problems with binging. I can really pack the food away. It is hard to even type about it really. My only strategy for it right now, is to just be aware of it, and to not allow myself to HIDE binges. One of the worst things I do to myself when I binge is to hide it and wallow in the guilt/shame.

I don't count my carbs everyday, as long as I'm in ketosis I consider myself to be doing well. I use the urine strips and they work well for me. I eat Atkins Induction style, although I allow myself a serving of almonds a couple times a week ( during work, stops the tummy grumbles and helps with dehydration) I also drink espresso daily. I deliver newspapers and it is a pretty physical job 7 days a week. Sundays are killer with the larger paper and about an hour more in delivery time, and another hour in prep time. If I am not careful to eat more LC stuff, I feel like I am starving for about three days afterwards. I then have a hard time staying on plan.

I have decided to STOP tracking my calories/nutrition. I am doing fine with those things, and I am becoming a little obsessive about it. Instead I made the decision to start journaling. I plan to use this journal as a place to track the changes in my body and my WOE. I have a lot of goals for myself and like to keep my mind active. I do have a tendency to go overboard with things.

A typical day for me:
~Before work
one medium sized fat bomb (various recipes depending on mood)
a four shot espresso with liquid splenda and 1/2c sf vanilla almond milk ( I don't always drink the whole thing)

1/4 c almonds OR 3/4 oz cheddar and 1oz pepperoni

~after work
2-6 egg omelet with ham or sausage, mushrooms/spinach/bell peppers (whatever I have on hand) with about 1/4c cheese of choice.

~diner
2 - 1/4 pound hamburger patties with mayonnaise, small salad or sliced tomatoes. Sometimes with bacon.

1/2 scoop protein powder (syntrax) with 1/4 cup greek yogurt 1T flax and water ( I do this before bed and find that I no longer wake up hungry)

I snack off and on on things like olives, cheese, chopped roast chicken, pickles, or celery and cream cheese.

Several times a week I feel like cooking and make steak, or mashed cauliflower casseroles. Sometimes I make a lc pizza, or lc biscuits and gravy.

I take a multivitamin (centrum silver); a flax/fish/borage oil; gelatin caps; calcium with D; and every other day I take a super B. I also take claritin.

My fiance ( I refer to him as my almost husband or to keep it simple on here DH) had begun lowcarbing with me, so we no longer keep ANYTHING in the house that is not allowed foods. It makes things easier for me in a lot of ways.

~~ Goals ~~
In the past I have never really believed I could get under 200 pounds. I always set 145 as my goal, but I just kind of glossed over it and focused on my mini goals. This time my goal weight is 145. I know I can achieve this over the next several years. I have decided my mini goals need to be things other than weight.

My ultimate goals are:
~to reach my goal weight on 145
~to do 10 pushups
~to run a mile in 8 minutes
~to reach maintenance on Atkins successfully and craft a WOE that will be healthy and sustainable for me.


My first mini goal/tasks:
~to measure myself and take pictures
~forgive myself for last Sundays binge on hamburgers and plan for the "hunger" I experience on Sundays by eating more fats on Saturday Sunday and Monday.

More to come

[GailyGail]

Welcome SweetMe! You are already off to a great start!