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SweetMe678 05-22-2013 12:02 PM

Big Changes
I see all these people who have done so well on this site! I am jealous and hopeful. Years ago in my mid twenties I was very successful with Atkins. I went from 320 down to 265. I got derailed due to being in an abusive relationship and suffering from untreated depression. A lot of the WOE stuck with me through the years though.

Fast forward to today, I am now in my mid 30's and as of last November at my highest weight ever 354. I allowed my weight to creep up over the last two and half years due to chronic illness and a tragic death in my family that I did not cope well with. I have not weighed myself since starting Atkins then. I took a two month break in Jan and Feb, due to exhaustion and rationalizations. I was still losing weight, due to a change in jobs and activity level. Then that stopped losing weight and I re-inducted successfully mid-march.

I have problems with binging. I can really pack the food away. It is hard to even type about it really. My only strategy for it right now, is to just be aware of it, and to not allow myself to HIDE binges. One of the worst things I do to myself when I binge is to hide it and wallow in the guilt/shame.

I don't count my carbs everyday, as long as I'm in ketosis I consider myself to be doing well. I use the urine strips and they work well for me. I eat Atkins Induction style, although I allow myself a serving of almonds a couple times a week ( during work, stops the tummy grumbles and helps with dehydration) I also drink espresso daily. I deliver newspapers and it is a pretty physical job 7 days a week. Sundays are killer with the larger paper and about an hour more in delivery time, and another hour in prep time. If I am not careful to eat more LC stuff, I feel like I am starving for about three days afterwards. I then have a hard time staying on plan.

I have decided to STOP tracking my calories/nutrition. I am doing fine with those things, and I am becoming a little obsessive about it. Instead I made the decision to start journaling. I plan to use this journal as a place to track the changes in my body and my WOE. I have a lot of goals for myself and like to keep my mind active. I do have a tendency to go overboard with things.

A typical day for me:
~Before work
one medium sized fat bomb (various recipes depending on mood)
a four shot espresso with liquid splenda and 1/2c sf vanilla almond milk ( I don't always drink the whole thing)

1/4 c almonds OR 3/4 oz cheddar and 1oz pepperoni

~after work
2-6 egg omelet with ham or sausage, mushrooms/spinach/bell peppers (whatever I have on hand) with about 1/4c cheese of choice.

2 - 1/4 pound hamburger patties with mayonnaise, small salad or sliced tomatoes. Sometimes with bacon.

1/2 scoop protein powder (syntrax) with 1/4 cup greek yogurt 1T flax and water ( I do this before bed and find that I no longer wake up hungry)

I snack off and on on things like olives, cheese, chopped roast chicken, pickles, or celery and cream cheese.

Several times a week I feel like cooking and make steak, or mashed cauliflower casseroles. Sometimes I make a lc pizza, or lc biscuits and gravy.

I take a multivitamin (centrum silver); a flax/fish/borage oil; gelatin caps; calcium with D; and every other day I take a super B. I also take claritin.

My fiance ( I refer to him as my almost husband or to keep it simple on here DH) had begun lowcarbing with me, so we no longer keep ANYTHING in the house that is not allowed foods. It makes things easier for me in a lot of ways.

~~ Goals ~~
In the past I have never really believed I could get under 200 pounds. I always set 145 as my goal, but I just kind of glossed over it and focused on my mini goals. This time my goal weight is 145. I know I can achieve this over the next several years. I have decided my mini goals need to be things other than weight.

My ultimate goals are:
~to reach my goal weight on 145
~to do 10 pushups
~to run a mile in 8 minutes
~to reach maintenance on Atkins successfully and craft a WOE that will be healthy and sustainable for me.

My first mini goal/tasks:
~to measure myself and take pictures
~forgive myself :heart: for last Sundays binge on hamburgers and plan for the "hunger" I experience on Sundays by eating more fats on Saturday Sunday and Monday.

More to come :D

GailyGail 05-22-2013 12:16 PM

Welcome SweetMe! You are already off to a great start!

SweetMe678 05-24-2013 10:00 AM

Thanks Gail :D

I took my measurements, but I want to take them again today. I am wearing my tightest "fat pants" and they were falling off all morning while working. And when I measured, I had lost inches everywhere except my belly, I'm guessing I may have been a little bloated or something?

All of a sudden I am really paying attention to the emotional side of my eating and behaviors around food. I noticed that I got super steamed at DH yesterday when he bought himself a candy bar. Now it wasn't they he 'blew' his diet. He is LCing because he is type 1 diabetic and he is finding it a great way to control his blood sugar and cut back on the amount of insulin he uses.
I still haven't uncovered WHY I was upset. If I had to guess, I would say because "it's not fair!" That is the kind of feeling behind it all, at least. Seems pretty childish to me, but it is what it is.

I have been having some stomach troubles that normally disappear with eating LC/Gluten free and I'm positive that besides the slip Sunday I have not eaten any gluten. I have also noticed a large increase in my allergy symptoms, and I've read somewhere that that can be from candida overgrowth.

~ New Mini Goals:
Do some research into candida.

SweetMe678 05-24-2013 03:02 PM

Oh and I've decided to buy a scale. I can't stand anymore not knowing how much I weigh :D

SweetMe678 05-27-2013 07:44 AM

Well I did my research on candida! Crazy stuff :D I posted in the Candida forum here and plan to do a detox period. I figure that even if I don't have a yeast problem, it might be good for me besides going back on a strict induction for two weeks is part of my plan.

I've been thinking on the scale thing and I am definitely going to get one. I keep a log of my measurements, so I can just add a column for my weight. I'll only focus on the monthly number :D

During my reading about Candida, I ran across a note about how citric acid (the additive in food) is made. I always assumed it was made from citrus fruits. It is not. It is made from from applying a fungus culture to a sugary solution, and then they filter mold out of the product and isolate it by using calcium hydroxide and sulfuric acid.


I'll never be the same

My NEW mini goal will be to start cutting back on the amount of coffee I consume before next week. Currently I drink 1-2 four shot espressos a day. I have a machine. So starting tomorrow (as I am already sipping my second one) I will only have 1 a day. Then Friday I will cut it back to a two shot and see from there is I can quite completely.

SweetMe678 05-29-2013 08:37 AM

So I have done terrible at cutting back on the coffee. . . I can't seem to give up the second one, so my compromise with myself is going to be to cut each one in half today and tomorrow and then cut out the second one and replace it with an AVC tonic.

I'm almost all set to start my candida detox. I've moved the day up to Monday, after reading about people's experiences with it, I don't want to chance feeling too ucky by the following Sunday.

My new scale will be here next week, so I can start official weigh ins.

I had given up the fat bombs, but it turns out they really help while I am working! I'm going to try and figure out some way to make them taste better for me. I've tried some different combos and it's more the texture than the taste that I don't like. If anyone (is there anyone?) who reads this has an idea I'm open. My energy levels compared to working without the fat bombs is dramatically different!

I've also been feeling a little envious of DH losing a couple pounds recently! I know I am losing weight, and he just had a little paunch to lose, but . . .

As I type that, I'm wondering where all these child-like feelings around food are coming from. . . In my head it's kind of whiny like a little kid who wants something that someone else has!

Time to figure out a way to 'feed' my inner child :D

SweetMe678 06-01-2013 01:54 PM

I'm feeling excited about the scale, it will be here Monday! I also ordered DH birthday present at the same time, hehehe! He'll just ignore the package, knowing that it is a scale coming for me :D

I have everything to start my candida cleanse on Monday morning. I think I am going to have to drink a little tea for the first few days. The coffee thing has been really hard for me to give up! I am down to one-two shot espresso when I first get up. Which, when I think about it, is a huge success for me. I'm thinking the tea will at least be less counterproductive than the coffee will.

So starting Tuesday morning, I can weigh in :D

Right now, I just want to focus on getting through the detox.

SweetMe678 06-03-2013 12:06 PM

OMG! I feel like poo! Here I had myself convinced I was going to do the candida cleanse and spend the money for nothing. 12 hours into it and I feel like I'm getting the flu (only I've had a flu shot). My joints ache and I could not wait to feel my bed after work this morning, and I never nap after work anymore. I slept for almost 4! hours.

So here I sit waiting for my new scale to come, and drinking lots of water.

SweetMe678 06-03-2013 01:56 PM

Okay here goes :D

6/3 - 336.6

SweetMe678 06-04-2013 07:02 AM

6/3 ~ 336.6
6/4 ~ 334.6

When I got the scale yesterday I weighed in the middle of the day. Still I have lost 20 pounds and 5 inches off my waist. I'm pretty happy with that! It averages out to like 1 pound a week.

What ran through my head this morning, is that I have a lot of weight to lose!

My ultimate goal weight is 145. I weighed this when I was 16, just before I got pregnant. I've looked closely at pictures of myself, when I was 135 ish, I looked too thin. 145 looked pretty good. Also I am not super stuck on that number, it is a signpost to aim for. It may turn out to be a different spot when I get there.

This means though, that I have roughly 190 more pounds to go. That is a whole other overweight person.

At a pound a week that is almost four years. Again I am okay with that. My weight has been almost 20 years in the making, fours years to reverse it isn't that long in comparison.

I could up it to 2 pounds a week, by changing some of my eating, BUT if I am in this for the long haul (lc for life) then I don't think I am doing myself any favors.

So 6 more inches off my waist and I'll have a LOT of saved cloths that I really like that will fit me for a while. In the mean time, I'm going to have buy a couple pairs of pants that will fit me until then, as the pants I have are getting too loose.

I've also decided to start the Body By You program, so that gives me four years to work through all the progressions and be able to do pull ups and push ups and such. I'm thinking I'll have a rockin' 40th birthday!

No new mini goals yet. I'm on day 2 of the candida cleanse. I felt better this morning, but am still feeling really tired. Ibuprofen took care of the achy feeling. and lots of water. I drank almost double what I normally drink in a day.

zipp2play 06-04-2013 11:36 AM

Sweet - You have a start point now and you will get to where you need to be. Maybe make a few "smaller goals" instead of the overall picture? Small attainable goals always help keep me on plan. I look forward to reading your progress!

SweetMe678 06-12-2013 11:32 AM

Thanks zipp2play. In all of my ramblings above, that is the conclusion I came to as well.

I am happy with 1# a week. :D

My latest mini goal is to rethink my candida cleanse/detox. By the end of the week I felt pretty ill and had to stop so that I could function for work and life in general.

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