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Old 05-18-2013, 01:13 PM   #151
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I didn't find the right kind of shoes. I guess I'll just make do with what I have right now. Tough if they don't like it. Until they can show me a pair of what they're talking about online, I will be just fine with what I already have. It's not the shoes, anyway. It's my dang weight.

I got a bunch of stuff like new sheets (needed them desperately), new pillows, water "socks" (so I can swim with Cissy at the pond someday), hangers, a land-line phone (will explain after), and various other things that I needed. Almost $200 later and no boots to show for it!

The landlady said (today) that it will be cheaper for her (ALOT cheaper) to have a bundle package with the cable company that includes a land-line phone. She asked me if I wanted one, so I said "sure." If it saves her money, what harm could it do? But then on my way to the store, I realized I needed to buy a phone. I bought the cheapest cordless I could find. It has caller id so that's all I care about. If it has a speaker phone, that will be nice, too. (Looks like it doesn't. Oh well.) I'm assuming there will be voicemail included in the phone plan. She said she'd let me know what my phone number was. Very weird, y'all.

Tammy, I hope Chloe has fun with her Dad. Have a nice day, girls. Rest time for me.
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Old 05-18-2013, 05:10 PM   #152
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Sounds fun. You get your telephone included with rent? cool. I have one of those phone systems that is cell-enabled. It picks up my cell phones & could be hooked up to my hub instead of telephone line... there's a pause when you pick up a call.... different. But cool. I can choose to use my cell which gives me free Canadian calls.
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Old 05-18-2013, 05:21 PM   #153
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All that shopping and no boots? but a free phone line sounds good! Hope you're doing well!
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Old 05-18-2013, 05:56 PM   #154
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I have cable and internet included with my rent, but now that she's going for the greater bundle package to save money, I'll have a land line. I don't care about having one. If I ever get my old 4-in-1 fax machine up and going, I can fax, at least. Again, no biggie since I can fax for $1/page at the library up the road.

My days off are almost over. And all this resting didn't alleviate my body from its pains. I just have to get my weight back under 200 again. That's the thing that will make me feel human once more. I remember the last time I was under 200 and it was such a remarkable change in how my body felt. I feel ancient right now.

Julie, it's almost Hawaii time!!! Bet you can hardly breathe! Can't wait to hear all your stories from your trip. But take your time making them!

Night, everyone. Almost 9 here. I'm watching The Bodyguard. Such a shame how she threw her life away and spoiled her God-given talent with all those drugs and bad living. It's hard for me to judge, though. I didn't have talent, but I still abused my body over the years. Just as much a shame as with someone in her shoes.
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Old 05-18-2013, 05:58 PM   #155
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Debby, that phone set-up you've got there sounds perfect! Never heard of anything like that here. My Mother's caller ID shows who's calling on her TV screen. I wonder if that will happen with my land line, since it's all one provider.
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Old 05-18-2013, 07:37 PM   #156
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Debby, that phone set-up you've got there sounds perfect! Never heard of anything like that here. My Mother's caller ID shows who's calling on her TV screen. I wonder if that will happen with my land line, since it's all one provider.
The phone I have is "bell dect 6.0" from The Source (radio shack). Found it online. It can do more then I can learn to use... downloaded all my contacts like a snap!
Sorry you're feeling sore still. Hope you find relief! I know about wt. causing that stuff. I had aches & pains so bad when over - wt.

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Old 05-18-2013, 09:06 PM   #157
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I'm trying to lose weight again. I know it won't help my pain, but it'll make ME feel better about myself. Ya know?
We had friends and family over tonight and grilled chicken . It was fun.
Nice getting a landline for free! I'd be thrilled!
Well, I'm sleepy. TTYT! Good night!
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Old 05-19-2013, 09:32 AM   #158
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That's so funny cause I don't care about the home phone. I have no use for it, except for faxing once or twice a year. And the machine is so old that I don't even know if it will still work. I haven't bothered to hook it back up to the computer since I moved in here. The printing aspect of it hasn't worked right in a long time. I changed ink cartridges and did the alignment stuff and that all goes well, but when I go to print something, it comes out terrible. I think it's just messed up. But I can still use it to scan and fax. Like I said; whoop-dee-doo!

And now that I got the phone home and looked more closely at it and noticed it doesn't have speaker phone, I know I'll rarely use it. I'm too cheap to spend $50 or much more. This "free land line" is costing me money. And if the bill collectors catch wind of the number, they will have two numbers to be bugging me at.

Tammy, I hope you can start dropping the weight again. Seems I try on a weekly basis (if not more often) to get into a losing mode, but then I crash and burn. I am laying off the beer and all things booze for a while. I hope to stay clean until the 4th of July. Then I want to PARTY! No idea what I'll be doing that day, but the 4th is one of my favorite holidays. Just good times and no obligations, presents to go in debt over, etc. Yes, I am jaded.

I just looked at when the 4th is and it's on a Thursday! That's weird. I'm off that day but who's going to celebrate it on a Thursday? Will they postpone to Friday or Saturday for the big fireworks displays and stuff? I wonder.

Today, I'm going to wear an old pair of boots that I have. They are on the small side, so I can only wear the thinnest of socks and have to make sure my toenails are freshly chopped (yes; they are that tight!) But they go above the ankle like they are supposed to and they are leather. Then again, if it's going to rain some more, maybe I'll just wear the rain boots and enjoy my Sunday. No program so Sunday is my only "relaxed" work day.

Tammy, if you haven't already heard from Shawn, I hope he calls you very soon. When he does, I want to hear about it!

Have a lovely day, everyone. TTYL.

Last edited by CherylB; 05-19-2013 at 09:34 AM..
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Old 05-19-2013, 05:57 PM   #159
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No, I haven't gotten a call yet and I haven't gotten a fb message in a few days. So, yep, I'm starting to freak out now. I just texted his gf and asked if shes heard from him. I wonder if she'll text me back. She's strange like that.
How was the farm? Are you staying clear of the mini's? LOL
Its gonna be 84* tomorrow! I had hubby put the a/c on today. Looks like it will run til Friday! LOL Now the gas bill will go down and the electric will increase!
I have to call a repairman for our oven. Its not working correctly. UGH! Good thing I have a warranty.
Well, I'm waching Long Island Medium and it has taken me forever to type this much! LOL
ttys!
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Old 05-19-2013, 06:53 PM   #160
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Wow! It's only in the 50's here today. I don't know if we even broke into the 60's all day. It rained the whole time I was at the farm. More than a mist, less than true "rain." It was miserable. And steady. Like a faucet. That someone else is controlling.

Mini's got their hay and grain but other than that, I didn't give them much attention. When the weather is the pits, we do only what we have to and need to do. Yuck!

I hope you hear back from Shawn's girlfriend soon. If she's heard from him, I'd surely hope that she would be thoughtful enough to contact you without being asked for info. Ya know?

I'm sorry to hear about your oven. I hope the warranty will cover whatever's wrong with it. In the meantime, use the grill!

I'm engrossed in a new nature series on Discovery Chanel. I am typing while looking at the tv, so I have to go back and fix my errors every now and then. Funny thing is I type better when I'm not looking at the screen.

So, have a lovely evening; what's left of it. I'm going to take my meds soon and go to bed. I'm laying on a heating pad trying to help my low back pain. Sometimes the heat seems to make it worse but I find the hot pad comforting.
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Old 05-20-2013, 09:31 AM   #161
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I flipped my mattress last night at the last minute, put on those brand new sheets (very cheap; see-through, actually) and used my new pillows. I slept so well and my back feels much better today. I guess I just have to keep flipping this thing until it's all flipped out.

Sunny right now. 70's and muggy but happy to see sunshine. I wasn't expecting that at all. We might be able to have our lessons as planned this afternoon, and have no rain-related misery involved. That would be lovely.

I'm going to have to learn how to like diet soda because drinking water, coffee and more water is boring as hell. I think I'd like diet iced tea better so I may switch to that instead.

Have a nice day, ladies. It's really quiet on all my threads right now. I hate when I sign on and there's been no new posts to read and respond to. It makes me sad. I know; get over it! And do like everyone else is doing~ spend less time on the computer.
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Old 05-20-2013, 11:07 AM   #162
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Hello! Its very hot outside so Chloe and I are hanging out indoors. I can't take heat. I just gave her a shower and she says she feels good! LOL I guess she hears what I say.
DH is playing hooky today and relaxing on the couch. I wish he'd go somewhere. LOL
Well, Chloe wants an apple. BBL!
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Old 05-20-2013, 11:18 AM   #163
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I wonder how long I'll be able to hold-out before putting in the a/c units for the rest of the season. If the muggy stuff hangs around, it won't take me long to give in. I hate that sticky feeling. A nice shower helps a lot, though. I am going to take one right now and then get ready for work.

Enjoy that apple, Chloe. And DH, go outside!
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Old 05-20-2013, 01:07 PM   #164
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Chloe is taking her nap so I can finish. LOL
I should take a nap too. She had me awake early this morning. She came in my room got in bed with me and layed her head on my arm and went back to sleep. I think she was mad at my dd. My dd is trying to switch cups on her and she refuses to drink out of the new ones. They have the hard tops on them and she likes the soft ones. They are too much like bottle nipples. I told my dd to get her the cups with straws bc she'll drink out of a straw. She won't listen to me.
I'm potty training Chloe. Wish me luck! She does good sitting on her potty though. She just can't say when she needs to go yet. So its just putting her on it and hoping to "catch" her when she needs to go. LOL
Hope your farm day is going well.
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Old 05-20-2013, 06:05 PM   #165
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You made me think of something they told me about me when I was 3 years old. I wouldn't give up the bottle and my Mother finally resorted to telling me that "we gave it to the poor people" or something stupid like that. I'm sure I didn't take it well. Besides, we WERE the poor people! Been chasing the bottle ever since.

Farm was horrible. It didn't rain but humidity was about 80%. Bugs were out in force. I got eaten alive! I have hives from some of the bites, in spite of my applying bug repellent lotion. I just sweat so much that I can't keep my face and neck protected from the bugs. My clothes were nearly as saturated as they would have been if it rained. I don't know why I sweat so profusely but several drugs I take have that listed as a side effect. It's embarrassing and depletes me of my energy.

I drink lots of water to keep replenishing the fluids I'm losing, but I lose electrolytes too. I started to feel that sapped-out feeling that I used to experience. Thankfully, I haven't had that happen in about a month or more.

It was so nasty that we even hosed the horses down. I hosed three of them. I didn't realize we were also supposed to squeegee them afterward but I walked them around a bit afterward so they could drip off. But as I was hosing them and making them feel so nice, I was under assault from the biting insects. I was plum miserable.

I am trying to work up the energy to go take shower #2. I know I will sleep better if I can wash this day down the drain. I don't think I can take another humid day like today. I'll be putting the a/c's in the windows for sure. Too bad cause it's only May. I realize I don't need to run them all the time. It sure is nice when you need them to have them ready to fire up. Ya know?

I am so fat, people. I don't know how to get back under control. I've had so many (SO many) false starts that I forget how it feels or what it takes to finally get off the ground and make it happen. I feel like my tries are up. Part of me really does and I don't know what to do about it. I'm a binge eater and binge drinker and I don't know how to change that about me.

All I can think of is to avoid all the things I love, so that binging is never triggered. Doesn't sound like much of a life to me.

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Old 05-20-2013, 07:36 PM   #166
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Cheryl, just wanted to pop in and say hi and that I still read up and check up on you from time to time and your post tonight got me to thinking.

I think those of us with addictive behaviors (eating, drinking, smoking, etc) have to really work hard hard for what we want.

I am a binger too, and have a very addictive personality as well. Whatever I am into, I am into it. And your comments about being one and that avoiding all foods is no life.... just wanted to say... I hope that food is not a reward for you.... eating to be healthy and not drinking to be healthy, those are things that make us feel better all the time. Eating and drinking are temporary "loves" and usually really make us feel worse. If you can try to think of your life/food/eating/drinking as not a reward to life, a pleasure to life and rather... a fueling of the body and means to be healthy, maybe when you change your food you will not feel so deprived. Now, I am still struggling too, so not preaching to the choir here, but I have had a good restart finally and its because I stopped that "inner child" telling me I want and therefore, stomping foot" I should have it... and reminded myself that I WANT to be thinner, healthier, and I felt so much better when I was.... that my mind is in the right place too. You have to not let yourself off the hook and allow it. You are a tough woman, I have seen it from you regarding so many things. You are tougher than your urges too. And if you stay in the fight for the long haul, I think you will get back to the 150s like you were before (AND ME TOO)... just wanted to offer up some encouragement and note your incredible strength and remind you how much happier you were when you did it last time!

Also...sounds like a miserable day today at the farm, sorry (cyber hugs) and hope you got that shower and maybe a nice cup of tea to relax and settle in with. Chin up... I have faith in you!!
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Old 05-20-2013, 07:47 PM   #167
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Cathy! So nice to see you again. I can hardly complain about my day (although I did) when I see what took place in OK today. I had no idea of it until I wrote about my sweaty day. I have so much to be thankful for. Lord, please forgive me.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I know you're right but it's head knowledge and not heart knowledge right now. That's why I can't achieve "lift-off"! I can't get air under my wings. I don't use food as a reward per se but I eat what I like eating. I swear, if I have to live on HB eggs for the rest of my life in order to get back to the 150's, I'm not willing to do that.

Anyway, I'm looking at your siggy and looks like you're making good progress. You're doing a Rx HCG round? Is it the shot kind of HCG? I hope you have an amazing round.
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Old 05-20-2013, 07:49 PM   #168
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Cheryl, just wanted to pop in and say hi and that I still read up and check up on you from time to time and your post tonight got me to thinking.

I think those of us with addictive behaviors (eating, drinking, smoking, etc) have to really work hard hard for what we want.

I am a binger too, and have a very addictive personality as well. Whatever I am into, I am into it. And your comments about being one and that avoiding all foods is no life.... just wanted to say... I hope that food is not a reward for you.... eating to be healthy and not drinking to be healthy, those are things that make us feel better all the time. Eating and drinking are temporary "loves" and usually really make us feel worse. If you can try to think of your life/food/eating/drinking as not a reward to life, a pleasure to life and rather... a fueling of the body and means to be healthy, maybe when you change your food you will not feel so deprived. Now, I am still struggling too, so not preaching to the choir here, but I have had a good restart finally and its because I stopped that "inner child" telling me I want and therefore, stomping foot" I should have it... and reminded myself that I WANT to be thinner, healthier, and I felt so much better when I was.... that my mind is in the right place too. You have to not let yourself off the hook and allow it. You are a tough woman, I have seen it from you regarding so many things. You are tougher than your urges too. And if you stay in the fight for the long haul, I think you will get back to the 150s like you were before (AND ME TOO)... just wanted to offer up some encouragement and note your incredible strength and remind you how much happier you were when you did it last time!

Also...sounds like a miserable day today at the farm, sorry (cyber hugs) and hope you got that shower and maybe a nice cup of tea to relax and settle in with. Chin up... I have faith in you!!
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Old 05-20-2013, 08:42 PM   #169
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Cathy! So nice to see you again. I can hardly complain about my day (although I did) when I see what took place in OK today. I had no idea of it until I wrote about my sweaty day. I have so much to be thankful for. Lord, please forgive me.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I know you're right but it's head knowledge and not heart knowledge right now. That's why I can't achieve "lift-off"! I can't get air under my wings. I don't use food as a reward per se but I eat what I like eating. I swear, if I have to live on HB eggs for the rest of my life in order to get back to the 150's, I'm not willing to do that.

Anyway, I'm looking at your siggy and looks like you're making good progress. You're doing a Rx HCG round? Is it the shot kind of HCG? I hope you have an amazing round.
I must have missed what happened in OK... I try to avoid the news, too depressing! As for the Rx HCG, yes the shots. I am in the right place right now, but have a long way to go. I found a new method where the dose increases every week and you dont stop at 40 days and keep on going, so you dont have to start/restart... hoping it works! We will see!! But I still exercise too, and thats sometimes a determent for me. Time will tell! I would be happy to eat just salads if I could fit back into my size 6s again!!!

Good luck with whatever you figure out... I am sure you can do it when you are ready!!
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Old 05-21-2013, 09:45 AM   #170
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Salads, yes. HB eggs, nada! I'm really happy you're in the groove and wish I could hear more about your plan. Any way you could PM me your email address, so we don't violate board rules?

It's even hotter today and just as muggy as yesterday. I am typing with one hand and holding a gel cold pack to yesterdays bug bite welts. They got me all over my cheeks, up near my eyes and behind both ears. One or two at the base of my neck. Today, I return for more.



Have a lovely, safe day, ladies.
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Old 05-21-2013, 08:47 PM   #171
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Cheryl, just wanted to pop in and say hi and that I still read up and check up on you from time to time and your post tonight got me to thinking.
I think those of us with addictive behaviors (eating, drinking, smoking, etc) have to really work hard hard for what we want.
I am a binger too, and have a very addictive personality as well. Whatever I am into, I am into it. And your comments about being one and that avoiding all foods is no life.... just wanted to say... I hope that food is not a reward for you.... eating to be healthy and not drinking to be healthy, those are things that make us feel better all the time. Eating and drinking are temporary "loves" and usually really make us feel worse. If you can try to think of your life/food/eating/drinking as not a reward to life, a pleasure to life and rather... a fueling of the body and means to be healthy, maybe when you change your food you will not feel so deprived. Now, I am still struggling too, so not preaching to the choir here, but I have had a good restart finally and its because I stopped that "inner child" telling me I want and therefore, stomping foot" I should have it... and reminded myself that I WANT to be thinner, healthier, and I felt so much better when I was.... that my mind is in the right place too. You have to not let yourself off the hook and allow it. You are a tough woman, I have seen it from you regarding so many things. You are tougher than your urges too. And if you stay in the fight for the long haul, I think you will get back to the 150s like you were before (AND ME TOO)... just wanted to offer up some encouragement and note your incredible strength and remind you how much happier you were when you did it last time! !

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Salads, yes. HB eggs, nada! I'm really happy you're in the groove and wish I could hear more about your plan. Any way you could PM me your email address, so we don't violate board rules?
It's even hotter today and just as muggy as yesterday. I am typing with one hand and holding a gel cold pack to yesterdays bug bite welts. They got me all over my cheeks, up near my eyes and behind both ears. One or two at the base of my neck. Today, I return for more. Have a lovely, safe day, ladies.
Yep, we do wear ourselves out on certain foods, when we do crash diets, that's for sure. I know eggs & tuna & salads were things I couldn't touch for years after one such crash diet that went on too long. I think that's why I'm enjoying trying out new diets. The variety is such a pleasant change (although I'm not very adventurous, nor interested in putting much effort into cooking). Just simple bacon can be such a great break!
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Old 05-22-2013, 09:24 AM   #172
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I WISH Atkins was a "crash diet" but it's more like a "snail diet" as far as I can tell. That's the only time eggs are a big part of my menu. If not for Atkins, I'd rarely ever eat eggs. Scramble them up, they're yummy. HB them and I can't stand those little rubbery whites. Takes all the fun out of deviling them. And when they won't peal right? UGH!!!

It's so much cooler today! We had t-storms last night while I slept. It's only in the upper 60's so far and overcast. Watching the forecast right now. One of those "teaser" forecasts that keeps you tuned-in so you'll see the news. Oh, well. It's got to be better than the last two days have been.

My clothes are in the dryer. I will have to leave the house around 2 pm so I can hit Walmart and buy (hopefully) some Deep Woods OFF. If only I had one of those hooded things that some religion's women wear! I'll bet they don't have to worry about bugs at all. Gotta get me one of those, only a shorter version.

Have a nice day, ladies! I'm doing well on abstaining from booze and cutting back on food intake. There was a party for the office manager last night at the farm (Actually a Board Meeting but party was the first part of it) and I was offered (three or four times) a plate of cake and ice cream. I said no thank you, even to the paper cups of wine. Had little choice on the wine, though. I'm taking the Antabuse again. I felt the need to dry out for a while and that pill helps me do that.

Truthfully, even if I wasn't on the Antabuse, I felt so nasty that all I wanted was to get the heck out of dodge and get into the shower. Then I was leaving (actually in my car and had turned on the ignition) when I noticed I had two texts from the equine manager. "Severe T-storm and tornado warning. Close all windows and secure anything that may blow around." She also said to secure the barn doors. The next text (after I secured them) said to leave the barn doors open. The animals must have been so uncomfortable for those hours with no air flow.

Anyway, so my exit took about 15 minutes longer to achieve but I got home and first thing I did was peal off my clothes and crawl into the shower. I'll do the same tonight. It's my FRIDAY!!!

Have a nice day.

Last edited by CherylB; 05-22-2013 at 09:27 AM..
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Old 05-22-2013, 10:36 AM   #173
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Good for you Cheryl, glad to hear you are at least "starting the road" every little step helps!! I bet without alcohol you would feel a million times better all the way around. When I drink, I eat out of control... so I just dont drink Yeah for showers!!! Have a good day today!
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Old 05-22-2013, 10:52 AM   #174
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I eat in binge-format whether I drink or don't, but yes; it seems worse when I'm "lubed up." My problem really is trigger foods. I mean, I wouldn't want to eat 2 or more tuna fish salad sandwiches, ya know? Certain things are triggers. I lose sight of what a "portion" is.

I'm down to the single digit 200's so I'm losing weight. I was in the teens a few days ago. But I want to cry when I remember that I was in the 230's when I began this journey 3.5 years ago. I can't believe I did this to myself. I never thought I'd let myself get like this ever again. But all it takes is losing focus. Then, BAM!
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Old 05-22-2013, 10:56 AM   #175
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CherylB View Post
I eat in binge-format whether I drink or don't, but yes; it seems worse when I'm "lubed up." My problem really is trigger foods. I mean, I wouldn't want to eat 2 or more tuna fish salad sandwiches, ya know? Certain things are triggers. I lose sight of what a "portion" is.

I'm down to the single digit 200's so I'm losing weight. I was in the teens a few days ago. But I want to cry when I remember that I was in the 230's when I began this journey 3.5 years ago. I can't believe I did this to myself. I never thought I'd let myself get like this ever again. But all it takes is losing focus. Then, BAM!
Totally get it. I am with you on the trigger foods too. Binging on veges... smeh!! probably not!! LOL Now.... froyo ... pasta.... hmmm.... peanut butter... UGH!

I could cry with you. While I did not make it all the way back up, I went up at least 40 again, and that was sad and depressing!!!! But I am in the game with you and we will do it again. We did it once right? We can do it again. My high was 240. I dont ever want to go back there, and if I dont stop this uphill motion, I will!!! Food is not that good!!! I have a ton of new clothes from when I lost the weight and then went to Jamaica... and I finally had to bag them up and hide them it was so depressing to see them and not fit!! But damn it, I will get back into them!!! This year I hope!!!!! LETS do this thing!

good job on getting in the single digits again! Thats a good start!!
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Old 05-22-2013, 11:19 AM   #176
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Here's to getting into those clothes again this year! I have so many things that I looked forward to wearing and never quite got there. I got into some of them, including a pair of green "micro suede" feel slacks that looked sooo sexy on and fit me so comfortably that one day I wore them. I need to "clothes" my eyes and remember that feeling of being slim and light on my feet. I need to do that several times each day. Just breathe deeply, relax and remember.
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Old 05-22-2013, 11:21 AM   #177
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I have been doing this every time I get the urge to eat something. Or walk to the cabinet and eat my son's cereal... remember.... YOU WANT TO BE THIN!!! Its the only thing currently keeping me going. Its working though, so yeah for that! Micro suede... sounds sexy!! LOL
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Old 05-22-2013, 03:09 PM   #178
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Hello, Cheryl! I'm just dropping to say hello and that I'm still alive. Glad to see that you are, too!

I'm sorry I've been a stranger. I just had to set the idea of dieting and all the things that go along with it, including obsessive reading of diet websites, aside for a while. I just got into some weird mental place where the more I thought about diets, the more desperately hungry I felt. I know you've been there too--we all have!

Anyway, I'm doing fine, plugging along with my teaching and choir directing and loving it.

I've reverted to my habitual way of eating, which is is basically Atkins OWL, I guess. I don't lose weight eating this way, but at least I don't gain. I'd still like to do an hcg round at some point, but I'm going to have to get into some other mental/emotional state in order to do it. In the meantime, you can always track me down on Facebook!
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Old 05-22-2013, 05:03 PM   #179
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I don't think I friended you on FB yet. Have I? I check in there every day or two, but it's mainly to read what my other family members are posting. I'm glad you're well. I decided to stop chasing you down after the last email I sent you. I hear ya! If you're head isn't in it yet, don't use up all your "tries" prematurely.

I'm glad things are going along as they had been in your private life. Thanks for stopping in and saying hello. Glad you found my new thread! I keep having to start new ones due to the size of them. My journals are fat so I should be thin. Isn't that how it should work?
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Old 05-23-2013, 07:06 AM   #180
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for you as you take steps for your health.
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