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Old 10-10-2013, 10:49 AM   #991
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Plum, I don't know if I can even trust this guy and I know that single middle-aged women are like sitting ducks for used car salesmen and all the rest. We're easy and we're gullible. I think the guy could have said, "It's leaking from three completely different areas (which he did say) but I can wrap some tape around two of them and we can at least slow the leakage so you won't have to put the power steering fluid in as often." (All of that he DIDN'T say.) He didn't even try to help me find a cheaper solution so I'm going to the old trusted guy who's probably nearing retirement to see what he has to say about the whole thing. I'm not telling him anything about the other mechanic. I'm just telling him that there's a leak and a problem with the power steering. I don't want to influence what he tells me in one way or the other.

It's overcast and a bit gloomy here today but I slept most of the day away. I was up more than half the night because of computer things. I get too interested in things and then it's hard if not impossible to tear myself away. I know that I need to "give in" when the yawning starts but sometimes I don't and that's when I pay for it.

I have been enjoying the birds coming to the hanging feeder on my front porch today. Usually it's those little house sparrows that come in droves and "move in." But so far it's just Black-Capped Chicadees and Tufted Titmice. (Titmouse in plural.) Anyway, I love the birds and long before there were the horses and the farm, there were the birds. I enjoy feeding them but it's always challenging to keep the greedy little squirrels and hordes of other types of birds from eating me out of house and home. I love the squirrels but when they grab hold of a feeder, they too move in. And the birds won't come while the squirrel is doing his thing. (But my secret weapon is Cissy.) Git 'em, girl!

I just found out I'm working Saturday. The manager said she'd do Sunday for me because of Mom's party but then it was looking like I'd have no need to swap a shift with her. Now that's changed as of 5 minutes ago. I hope it's not a rainy day. That would really suck. I guess I should have checked the forecast first! (Rain Friday, which was my normal day. Sunny Saturday.)

Other than taking the car to the mechanic yesterday and walking back from and then back to the mechanic's to retrieve the car, I've done nothing but eat and laze around. I'm at the very bottom. I simply can not put off doing some sort of weight loss and exercise plan any longer. Regardless of which one I start out with, I have to start. Sunday is the damn pizza party, Monday I start.

My problem is that I can't eat normal portions. I am a binger. I can go all day without eating; with just coffee with cream and ez sweetz (liquid splenda) and water but when I start eating in the pm, I just eat huge amounts of food. It is killing me.

When I was walking up to get my car back last night, I literally could not breathe. My lungs could not expand into my full and bloated belly enough to provide me with the oxygen and air required to simply walk. I gasped for air the entire way up the hill. I was that full of food from what I ate during the day! (Days off are different from work days. I eat all day if I'm home.)

In some ways, I feel I'm worse off than I was 4 years ago when I started this journey the first time. Now I have the guilt and shame of having to lose the weight all over again, knowing I did this to myself yet again. I have to forget about the past and just deal with where I am right now, today. Please, Lord!!! Help me. Again.

Last edited by CherylB; 10-10-2013 at 10:55 AM..
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Old 10-10-2013, 02:13 PM   #992
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Hi Cheryl,
I used to love feeding the birds too. But after trying everything to stop the squirrels for years, I finally gave up. They're just impossible! I have a special 'squirrel-proof' feeder, they learned to just body-check it to spill all over the porch, or they hang from it & spill all over... I even live-trapped them for a while, but dh didn't like taking them places to drop off (he feels sorry for them). Besides that, we have wood-peckers that are used to us nailing a slab of fat on the tree for them... every year they come "knock" to let us know its time for some fat! There's a really big one doing that now, but I don't have any fat for him yet. If that happens when I have the feeders out, the wood-pecker hangs off the feeder & knocks the seeds out with his beak... ... saying feed ME!
They are fun to watch.
I'm cheering for you Cheryl, hope you get things figured out for Monday.
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Old 10-10-2013, 03:30 PM   #993
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Sorry the car would be so much!! Hope the old mechanic can help you find a better option!!

Hope you have a great time Sunday!! Monday is a good day to start!
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Old 10-10-2013, 06:46 PM   #994
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Debby, I enjoyed reading your post. Do you use a slab of fat from something DH has gotten while hunting? I'm just wondering since he hasn't gotten any moose yet and the birdies are knocking already. Are they the large ones with the red heads and speckled "jackets"? I guess you have different Woodpeckers in your part of the world. Those are my favorite Peckers. The Sapsuckers are pretty cool too but they aren't quite on a par with the Red-bellied Woodpecker. (Their heads are much redder than their bellies but that's their name.)

I will hang out some suet cakes when it gets colder. They cost about a dollar a piece if I can get them on sale. Otherwise a buck twenty-five. I need to find a way to hang one from the tree in the back yard in such a way that the squirrels can't hang onto the chain and eat the entire thing in one "sitting" or chew through something that is too small for them to hang onto. They are some sneaky, smart, nimble critters.

Back to work tomorrow. I enjoy Fridays though because the volunteer riding lessons happen Friday afternoons. It's not supposed to be more than a mist if it does rain this far inland. We shall see.

Julie, . I'm happy for you being in such a good groove. I was thinking of starting out on Atkins cause that's not so difficult and I always lose at least 10 lbs in the first week with all the water loss and stuff. Then maybe sometime in or after week two, I can start adding in the hhcg pellets and cutting back on calories and portions and just staying LC. I could try that and see where it gets me by Thanksgiving time. I could live with that. And being on Atkins for a full week or more, I'll be in solid ketosis and my hunger will be gone. Then it won't matter too much when I cut the calories back and add in the pellets. These new pellets do nothing to control hunger so I need ketosis to be in place first.

If I am faithful and stay the course, I can be under 200 before the new year. That's if things move pretty slowly. If they go quicker, Yeehaw. I can't count on that or I'll undermine my success. I just have to start feeling better. I remember how good it feels to be in control and that memory is way too far back in time. It's gotten really hazy.

I wish I could eat the way my sister does and just exercise many hours per week (again, like she does.) I can manage the exercise if I commit to it but she eats whatever she wants or whatever is put before her at a dinner she attends and she just eats a certain number of calories. If I could live that way, I could be a lot happier than if I live in a world without starches and sugars.

I know that eating unprocessed foods is so much healthier but it's freeing to be able to eat out with family and friends and not have to feel you're "cheating" to eat what they're eating. I've been hearing more and more people talk about an 80%/20% plan, where they eat on their plan for 80% of the time and allow 20% of the time to eat slightly outside of the margins. Maybe that would work for me.

Another woman who used to be a total fixture on LCF (some of you may remember her by the name of "minimonkey") no longer participates here but I've found her on Facebook. We just recently started to talk again and get caught up with each other and she's committed to a Vegan diet now and says she feels fantastic. I've seen programs on a Vegan plan on Netflix and I like a lot of what they say.

I just don't know. And my nature is to not make a move until I get things figured out in my head and I know that isn't how life works. You have to get moving in some sort of direction. You can change course later but you can't steer a parked car. Any decision is better than no decision when it comes to getting your life back.

It's almost 10 pm here so enough ruminating for tonight. (Wow! Great word for what I'm going through right now. I wrote it down then googled the definition and it fits like a glove.) Have a good night and a great morning tomorrow.
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Old 10-10-2013, 07:03 PM   #995
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LOL... I enjoyed your stories too. Never figured I'd be a bird watcher, but it is fun! Yep we have the yellow-bellied sap-suckers & the Pileated-headed woodpeckers the big one is the Pileated. They are really cool, not too skittish either, you can almost touch them. We usually use fat that we trimmed off of meat that we butchered, or bought. I also buy it at the butcher shop. We just nail it to a tree (high enough the dog can't reach). The squirrels chew on it too, but can't steal it. Those cage-things don't work for us... ends up just rotting.
I'm so glad you're gearing up to get going again.
You found minimonkey! Cool! I miss reading her posts, she was fun & interesting. Is her health back on track? She was really sick just before she disappeared from here.
Have a good night!
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Old 10-10-2013, 07:32 PM   #996
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I haven't gotten her to tell me why she disappeared from LCF. I've wondered that and I've tried to reach her via email a few times without reply. I guess she doesn't want to talk about it so I am going to give it up. But as far as how she's feeling now, she says she's loving the Vegan life and feels great. Her weight has settled a little bit up from what she was struggling to keep it at and she sounds very at peace with where she's at right now.

She still has lots of birds, she finally got her free-loading girlfriend roommate to move out and that's about all I know right now. She got her two masters degrees as well. Such a motivated and accomplished woman! And soooo talented to boot.

Getting back to fat for the birdies, they sell hunks of lard at the store but someone told me it had to be "rendered" (?) before you could use it for the birds. So you are saying you can just put that out there and they will eat it "straight"? If so, I will try that. I wonder if the Starlings will eat that because if they will, a giant flock of them will swoop in and inhale that in no time flat.

I put old bread and stuff like that out there in the winter for the birds, too. The Starlings go absolutely NUTS for the bread. Feeding frenzy. I used to buy this amazing seed, corn and nut mix in the store in 40 lb bags but they cut way back on quality and now I just do the messy but basic black sunflower seeds.

Okay. Time for bed now. Hope all is well and each of you has a lovely night.
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Old 10-10-2013, 07:54 PM   #997
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Well, I am not an authority on birds. But in the wild they pick a carcass clean, so dh thought of it & did it just as it is... & it works fine. Keeps them busy for a long time. Only birds that can cling on can get to it... although a few crows have figured out how to steal it a few times We buy sides of pork from friends & that's why we have all that fat. Although this time I forgot to ask for it. oops. Molly's outside chewing on a pork hoof right now in fact!

Thanks for the update on mini I'm so glad she's doing better.

Good night
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Old 10-11-2013, 08:12 AM   #998
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Originally Posted by CherylB View Post
Debby, I enjoyed reading your post. Do you use a slab of fat from something DH has gotten while hunting? I'm just wondering since he hasn't gotten any moose yet and the birdies are knocking already. Are they the large ones with the red heads and speckled "jackets"? I guess you have different Woodpeckers in your part of the world. Those are my favorite Peckers. The Sapsuckers are pretty cool too but they aren't quite on a par with the Red-bellied Woodpecker. (Their heads are much redder than their bellies but that's their name.)

I will hang out some suet cakes when it gets colder. They cost about a dollar a piece if I can get them on sale. Otherwise a buck twenty-five. I need to find a way to hang one from the tree in the back yard in such a way that the squirrels can't hang onto the chain and eat the entire thing in one "sitting" or chew through something that is too small for them to hang onto. They are some sneaky, smart, nimble critters.

Back to work tomorrow. I enjoy Fridays though because the volunteer riding lessons happen Friday afternoons. It's not supposed to be more than a mist if it does rain this far inland. We shall see.

Julie, . I'm happy for you being in such a good groove. I was thinking of starting out on Atkins cause that's not so difficult and I always lose at least 10 lbs in the first week with all the water loss and stuff. Then maybe sometime in or after week two, I can start adding in the hhcg pellets and cutting back on calories and portions and just staying LC. I could try that and see where it gets me by Thanksgiving time. I could live with that. And being on Atkins for a full week or more, I'll be in solid ketosis and my hunger will be gone. Then it won't matter too much when I cut the calories back and add in the pellets. These new pellets do nothing to control hunger so I need ketosis to be in place first.

If I am faithful and stay the course, I can be under 200 before the new year. That's if things move pretty slowly. If they go quicker, Yeehaw. I can't count on that or I'll undermine my success. I just have to start feeling better. I remember how good it feels to be in control and that memory is way too far back in time. It's gotten really hazy.

I wish I could eat the way my sister does and just exercise many hours per week (again, like she does.) I can manage the exercise if I commit to it but she eats whatever she wants or whatever is put before her at a dinner she attends and she just eats a certain number of calories. If I could live that way, I could be a lot happier than if I live in a world without starches and sugars.

I know that eating unprocessed foods is so much healthier but it's freeing to be able to eat out with family and friends and not have to feel you're "cheating" to eat what they're eating. I've been hearing more and more people talk about an 80%/20% plan, where they eat on their plan for 80% of the time and allow 20% of the time to eat slightly outside of the margins. Maybe that would work for me.

Another woman who used to be a total fixture on LCF (some of you may remember her by the name of "minimonkey") no longer participates here but I've found her on Facebook. We just recently started to talk again and get caught up with each other and she's committed to a Vegan diet now and says she feels fantastic. I've seen programs on a Vegan plan on Netflix and I like a lot of what they say.

I just don't know. And my nature is to not make a move until I get things figured out in my head and I know that isn't how life works. You have to get moving in some sort of direction. You can change course later but you can't steer a parked car. Any decision is better than no decision when it comes to getting your life back.

It's almost 10 pm here so enough ruminating for tonight. (Wow! Great word for what I'm going through right now. I wrote it down then googled the definition and it fits like a glove.) Have a good night and a great morning tomorrow.
excellent!! Couldn't have said it better myself! Your plan sounds great. Once you're in ketosis and appetite is down, anything is possible!! Once you're feeling in the zone, you'll add exercise back in and off you'll go!! You got this! You know what to do, how your body likes to eat and train, and you're almost there. nice!

The 80/20 thing works great for maintenance, but not for losing . I plan that for when I eventually get back to goal (which is now my jeans, not the scale number) I tend to travel too much making it more 70/30 , but I'm trying not to look at vacation as an all out piggy fest! A weekend away late Oct. will be my first test. Thankfully I'll be eating to live not living to eat. Disneyland has way more temptations for me- part of the fun there is the yummy Disney treats! I'll try that 80/ 20 thing in Dec., but I don't want to come home from DL up 10lbs then a week later it'll be Christmas... That'll be quite a month for me to practice self control!

Hope you're enjoying your weekend!
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Old 10-11-2013, 08:14 AM   #999
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I forgot to add, please say hello to mini for me! I miss her and am glad to hear she's doing well! I think she probably left because she felt attacked. There were some rounds she did to get really low in weight and her health was suffering. I think she may have gotten offended by some concerned LCFs, and I hope I wasn't one of them. I remember she was doing great with the weight training and hope she's still doing it.
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Old 10-11-2013, 08:56 AM   #1000
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Thanks, Julie. I think I can get back in the groove with this method, too. You're probably right about the 80/20 thing for losing. I was taking that to mean 80% of the time, you are 100% on your plan and 20% of the time, you make exceptions. Not like that would be a regular thing. For example, I would consider a dinner and a movie out with family as my 20% for one several-week block of time. I think in that way of using it, you can still lose weight.

The cost of everything at Disney must be out of this world. I've never been to one of those Disney parks but I think I would faint at how much things cost and how the costs add up. I would be smuggling my food in there in a huge purse or backpack or something. I don't mind spending money so long as I don't feel like I'm being raped in the process. I never buy the food at the movie theaters either. OMG. So easy to just bring a bottled drink and a snack in your purse.

That will be a challenging month for you, Julie! You're up for the challenge, though. The hhcg round will be fresh in your memory and you'll also be aware of how hard you've been kicking butt in the gym each week. You'll make very informed decisions about what to indulge in, I'm sure.

It's pretty overcast here right now. I heard it would be somewhat rainy but so far it doesn't look too wet. Just put the weather channel on to see the radar images. I'm working today but I'm not concerned about getting rained on. I'm more concerned about doing my job feeling as awful as I'm feeling.

I weighed on an empty stomach when I got up today. A whopping 224 lbs. My joints are stiff and painful, my hands are swollen and it's difficult to make a fist due to the puffiness. They are also aching. The soles of my feet are tender when I walk. It's all due to the pressure on my body from all this weight I'm carrying.

I used to have it in my head that "I'm x lbs away from where I began 4 years ago", but I'm so close to that number now, I am going to throw that old number out and just go with this one as my starting weight. That was then and this is now. This is an entirely new chapter in my life.

I found a new notebook and put pen to paper last night before bedtime. I wrote down some goals for my future so I have an "outline" to shoot for. I have a plan to be at my goal weight by my birthday next August. I have a looser goal to get back into exercise, with no dates involved. I guess I should add some dates. I made a goal timeline for my horse riding and also for maybe taking a refresher course in nursing and finding a part time or per diem job in 2015 and cutting back on the farm hours. By then I'll be riding and I won't have to be working there if I can do one or two shifts every couple of weeks as a nurse.

I first thought I was going to set a "where I want to be in 5 years" type of goal, but I ended up writing things down that were more for now. Like stepping stones to get me through Fall, Winter, Spring and then Summer. Makes sense to me!

It may be a couple of years before my sister and her husband leave CT. That's what they said, anyway. They want to do some traveling after they sell their house and finally settle near one of their kids. They would love to be close to both of them but that will only be possible if their son and his wife find a good position on the east coast. Their daughter has a house in Maryland and she works in DC.

I would be very happy for them if that happens, but I'm secretly hoping their son ends up someplace a lot more "western." His wife sent out applications all over the place, including Seattle where her family lives. So my future can be full of possibilities and I need to be ready for anything. I will keep that in mind as I sweat on the treadmill, lug my butt to the gym, choose on-plan food vs something that's tempting me, etc.

It's good to have goals. I feel like without them, I'm dead in the water.
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Old 10-11-2013, 08:58 AM   #1001
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I will tell Mini that you and Debby miss her and that you said hello. Have a great Friday, everyone.
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Old 10-11-2013, 09:54 AM   #1002
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Very good to hear you talking like this. Writing down goals, making a clear plan. Its inspiring!
Thanks for passing "hi" on to Mini
I don't do well on "exceptions" (80/20). Have to stay on plan.
Hope you have a successful day at the farm. I'm going to do some baking & vacuum. Other then that, I'm without a plan.
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Old 10-11-2013, 10:50 AM   #1003
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I'm getting inspired, too. I was just in the main lobby looking at other threads and Julie had bumped one of a "before and after" hcg thread. I looked through all 15 pages and it was really enlightening. It can be done. And it is so worth the effort and sacrifice.

I have a birdy knocking on my bedroom window, looking for a place to make a winter nest, no doubt. He's got water and seeds only 10 feet away so he wants to stake his claim. Unfortunately, unless I purchase a heated waterer, I don't think they will have water this winter. They will have to rely on the little river that flows through the woods behind the back yard.

I brewed a fresh pot of coffee today and put cinnamon AND nutmeg in the grounds. Tastes even yummier than with just cinnamon. A generous helping of half and half and some liquid splenda and it's a very satisfying drink. Who needs Dunkin Donuts? Not I!

I will report back after work. The sun has come out and it's much brighter than it was earlier, even though overcast still. It will be a lovely day at the farm.
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Old 10-11-2013, 04:00 PM   #1004
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Cheryl, your plans sound so balanced and real. Good for you!

Quote:
Another woman who used to be a total fixture on LCF (some of you may remember her by the name of "minimonkey") no longer participates here but I've found her on Facebook.
You found mini! I've just gone back to hhcg this week and noticed the people who used to be there who are now gone, and she's one of the ones I tried to look up. I couldn't find any posts past - I think - last November. I'm so glad she's doing well! Is she still living in the cool place - wasn't it at one time a firehall or museum or some such?

You should tell her to pop in here on your journal - no pressures, just caring!

Are you thinking that if your sister and her husband move out west you might head out that way at some point too?
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Old 10-11-2013, 06:03 PM   #1005
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I'll suggest it to her but I think she's done with LCF. What I CAN do is ask her if I can share her FB name with you all so you can touch base over there. I think she's still in the same apartment. I forgot what she said it used to be.

My sister and her hubby want to be active grandparents, when and if their son and his wife start to have children. So that's why they would move to be nearer to the son vs the daughter if they had to choose. If the son moves to Maryland or someplace close to his sister, I doubt I'll follow behind them. But if they move somewhere interesting, I will seriously consider leaving CT again.

Things at the farm went well. The bugs were bad and I had to go around and spray each of the horses out in their paddocks just to keep them appeased for a few hours more. I put the mini's out to graze in their paddock behind the barn (where the manager said to put no one but I felt bad for them. Always grazing for limited bits of time on "leash.") I removed all traces that they had been there, including dumping the water bucket and turning it back upside down again. She'll still know I did it. She always knows.

There were three volunteers who rode for lessons this afternoon. Two at 4 o'clock and one at 6. The instructor was about 15 minutes late and one of the volunteers is "challenged" and she kept asking me what she should do. She was convinced it was possible that the instructor wasn't going to come at all. I couldn't believe the way she kept going on. The only thing that sucks is that the instructor doesn't tell the rider who they are riding and what tack to get ready beforehand so they are just waiting for her to get there. That isn't cool. At least if she knew who she was riding and what saddle, etc, she could be grooming and getting the horse tacked up. I will speak to the instructor about this and see if she can give them that information.

Brand new series on Discovery channel, 2-hr premiere starting now. Gold Fever! Going to watch it. Ttyt.

Last edited by CherylB; 10-11-2013 at 06:07 PM..
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Old 10-11-2013, 08:27 PM   #1006
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Bummer about the bugs still being around. I don't think we have any bugs now... except the odd moth.
Sounds like you're getting quite a list of things to suggest to improve the farm. Its always good to improve things, make them run smoother.
Enjoy your series!
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Old 10-11-2013, 09:51 PM   #1007
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Well I ran my idea past the manager and like always, the answer was no. But if this goes the way other things I've said to her have gone, she will think about it and come around to what I said. I hope so because I really hate wasting my time. It makes no sense to give every person who comes to the farm a private lesson in how to do this stuff. Let them learn in a big overview in the classroom setting before they ever set foot in the barn. I will get my way. Even if I have to make the training video on the sly when nobody is around and then show it to a few of them. Then they will see the value in it.

The series looks like it will be good. I love things that are based on true events. This is about the California Gold Rush. Amazing to see what the lust for gold did to people, and continues to do to people.

It's almost 1 am and I'm doing it again. Still on the dog-gone computer. I will never learn, will I? Goodnight.
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:45 AM   #1008
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Good day everyone!
It's a rainy one here in SW Pa. It wasn't suppose to rain! This morning on the 5:00 a.m. news there was no mention of rain. Just a 30% chance tomorrow. Shows how much they know.
Chloe's dad is suppose to come today. I swear if he texts and says he'll be late I'm gonna go off. My dd said to text her and tell her if he isn't here around 2 and she'll tell him not to come. He's been late, or not coming at all for the last month or so. It's getting old. He disrupts our plans. We plan on him coming from 2-5, but he always just stays 2 hours. What a shame.
You have a plan now. I'm still bouncing around! I have done the "write the plan down" method too. I should try it again. Thanks for bringing that up. I want to do hHCG again. I had to stop before bc of my issues. It was making ttom worse on top of the endo and all. I just wonder how long I should wait. I'm healed, but still worried. Maybe I'll post a question on the hcg threads and see what they say about it.
I have to get Chloe to take a nap. Wish me luck!
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:56 AM   #1009
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I would wait, Tammy. You may look healed on the surface but there is still repair work going on inside your body. You don't want to tackle such a low-calorie diet just yet. My Dr flips when I tell him I (in the past) was doing the hhcg. He asked how many calories and I said between 500 and 700. Then I showed him a scab on my lower leg that had been there for a month and wouldn't heal and he said, "Because your malnourished!" So if a scab won't heal on that few calories (even with taking vitos every day), please wait a while longer post op.

I hope Chloe's dad shows up on time and plays with her. Does he still spend most of the time talking with your dh outside or does he spend quality time with Chloe? What does Chloe call him? Daddy? Just curious.

It's gorgeous here! I was awakened by a very strange sound. I got up and looked out the window at the street and saw it was the sound of crunchy leaves being blown down the road. We've been so blessed with this Fall. I hope it continues for a while longer.

I'm working again today. Wish me luck! All should go fine.
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Old 10-12-2013, 09:25 AM   #1010
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Thanks, Julie. I think I can get back in the groove with this method, too. You're probably right about the 80/20 thing for losing. I was taking that to mean 80% of the time, you are 100% on your plan and 20% of the time, you make exceptions. Not like that would be a regular thing. For example, I would consider a dinner and a movie out with family as my 20% for one several-week block of time. I think in that way of using it, you can still lose weight.

The cost of everything at Disney must be out of this world. I've never been to one of those Disney parks but I think I would faint at how much things cost and how the costs add up. I would be smuggling my food in there in a huge purse or backpack or something. I don't mind spending money so long as I don't feel like I'm being raped in the process. I never buy the food at the movie theaters either. OMG. So easy to just bring a bottled drink and a snack in your purse.

That will be a challenging month for you, Julie! You're up for the challenge, though. The hhcg round will be fresh in your memory and you'll also be aware of how hard you've been kicking butt in the gym each week. You'll make very informed decisions about what to indulge in, I'm sure.

It's pretty overcast here right now. I heard it would be somewhat rainy but so far it doesn't look too wet. Just put the weather channel on to see the radar images. I'm working today but I'm not concerned about getting rained on. I'm more concerned about doing my job feeling as awful as I'm feeling.

I weighed on an empty stomach when I got up today. A whopping 224 lbs. My joints are stiff and painful, my hands are swollen and it's difficult to make a fist due to the puffiness. They are also aching. The soles of my feet are tender when I walk. It's all due to the pressure on my body from all this weight I'm carrying.

I used to have it in my head that "I'm x lbs away from where I began 4 years ago", but I'm so close to that number now, I am going to throw that old number out and just go with this one as my starting weight. That was then and this is now. This is an entirely new chapter in my life.

I found a new notebook and put pen to paper last night before bedtime. I wrote down some goals for my future so I have an "outline" to shoot for. I have a plan to be at my goal weight by my birthday next August. I have a looser goal to get back into exercise, with no dates involved. I guess I should add some dates. I made a goal timeline for my horse riding and also for maybe taking a refresher course in nursing and finding a part time or per diem job in 2015 and cutting back on the farm hours. By then I'll be riding and I won't have to be working there if I can do one or two shifts every couple of weeks as a nurse.

I first thought I was going to set a "where I want to be in 5 years" type of goal, but I ended up writing things down that were more for now. Like stepping stones to get me through Fall, Winter, Spring and then Summer. Makes sense to me!

It may be a couple of years before my sister and her husband leave CT. That's what they said, anyway. They want to do some traveling after they sell their house and finally settle near one of their kids. They would love to be close to both of them but that will only be possible if their son and his wife find a good position on the east coast. Their daughter has a house in Maryland and she works in DC.

I would be very happy for them if that happens, but I'm secretly hoping their son ends up someplace a lot more "western." His wife sent out applications all over the place, including Seattle where her family lives. So my future can be full of possibilities and I need to be ready for anything. I will keep that in mind as I sweat on the treadmill, lug my butt to the gym, choose on-plan food vs something that's tempting me, etc.

It's good to have goals. I feel like without them, I'm dead in the water.
love this!! Great job setting goals, such a great idea!! It'll keep you focused and challenged!! yay!! I'm so excited for you!! Are you still planning to start Monday? If so, enjoy this weekend and know you're on your way!

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I'm getting inspired, too. I was just in the main lobby looking at other threads and Julie had bumped one of a "before and after" hcg thread. I looked through all 15 pages and it was really enlightening. It can be done. And it is so worth the effort and sacrifice.

I have a birdy knocking on my bedroom window, looking for a place to make a winter nest, no doubt. He's got water and seeds only 10 feet away so he wants to stake his claim. Unfortunately, unless I purchase a heated waterer, I don't think they will have water this winter. They will have to rely on the little river that flows through the woods behind the back yard.

I brewed a fresh pot of coffee today and put cinnamon AND nutmeg in the grounds. Tastes even yummier than with just cinnamon. A generous helping of half and half and some liquid splenda and it's a very satisfying drink. Who needs Dunkin Donuts? Not I!

I will report back after work. The sun has come out and it's much brighter than it was earlier, even though overcast still. It will be a lovely day at the farm.
Love my coffee!! that is my vice of choice esp while sticking to plan . So glad the threads inspired you! I needed a bit of inspiration myself have a great weekend!
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Old 10-12-2013, 06:27 PM   #1011
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That's awesome that you're having a gorgeous fall... so fun! Hope your work-day went well today.
Have you done a shopping trip to prepare for Monday?
Hope you have a great time with your Mom.
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Old 10-12-2013, 07:15 PM   #1012
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I'm all set for Monday, my friends. I'm looking forward to getting healthy and happy again. Now that I have an idea of where I'm going, it makes it that much easier to stay in focus and on-course. Please Lord, give me what I need to get there and make each and every day count. (Thank you.)

Tomorrow I have to go buy Mom a card and maybe a pair of earrings. She always likes those and it won't cost a ton. We all have financial limitations so there isn't much expected from us. For just us sisters, we decided this year that we'd only do a card with sentiments and a dinner, but for Mom we try a little harder to show our love. She's our Mom, after all. I don't know if I said it already but she's going to be 82.

Work was pretty good. Two good helpers and everyone got groomed, mini's got a nice long time to graze on lush grass, the goat eluded me a few times and got down to the lower field to eat in "the forbidden land" (I heard she went under the fence recently and was dangerously close to the road.) I would steer her back to the barn area but the little bugger would wait until my back was turned and off she'd sneak again. Finally I kept stepping in her way whenever she even TURNED in that direction and we had a showdown. She reared and charged to head-butt me but in the end, I won. In her stall she went, safe and sound to fight another day.

This weather has just been top-notch, in my book. Others are wearing light jackets, I'm in my short sleeves and loving the breeze. Such a breath of fresh air! And we get the greatest sunsets up there on the hill. Not tonight, though. Too many clouds.

So it's bedtime here in CT. I hope everyone who is reading this has a pleasant night; safe and warm (or cool, if that's your preference) with amazing dreams.

Last edited by CherylB; 10-12-2013 at 07:17 PM..
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Old 10-12-2013, 07:41 PM   #1013
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Excellent! So glad you're organized & ready.
Congrats to your Mom! 82 is a good accomplishment. Is she still pretty healthy? (sorry, I forget). Have fun & lots of laughs!

Too bad the grass is always better in the forbidden field. I'm sure glad you can handle them with confidence. WTG with having good help too!

Back at you with a good sleep & amazing dreams
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:11 PM   #1014
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Thank you, Debby. Yes, Mom is in pretty good health but she's got chronic pain in her legs. Some sort of neuropathy that is making walking difficult so when we go anywhere that requires walking, we have to locate a chair for her for that day. Thankfully we haven't needed to get one for regular use. She's losing some of her hearing in her left ear but she poo-poo's that. Her vision isn't so great but she's not about to admit to that either. She can still drive but only goes to the usual places like grocery store, bank, library, etc. (Liquor store. ) But over all, she's doing pretty dog-gone good and I thank God for that.

She has a housekeeper that comes once a week to help her with things like laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, stripping the bed and making it again, and they even help her with her little veggie garden behind her apartment. She can get that worker (or a different worker) for another time each week but she wants the same one and that doesn't work. So for now, she just does the one day. I would LOVE to have someone come for four hours once a week to clean my house! Let me tell you, baby. My house would be sparkling.

Sleeping meds are starting to kick in so adios amigos!
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Old 10-12-2013, 08:31 PM   #1015
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Good night sleepy-head! Its Sunday there... you should be tired!
That's great! She sounds like she's doing really well. I hope she has lots more years like that!
Yep, I'd love to have someone come once a week to do my dusting & floors. Two chores I don't like. Sure like when its been done, but don't care for doing it. On the other hand, I'd be really nervous about someone coming to do it for me & thinking they think I'm a slob Clean-up the house for the house-cleaner!
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:49 AM   #1016
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Hahahaha!! I use to have ppl come to clean my bathrooms, do the floors, and dust. That was a while ago. I did away with that to save money. But it was nice. Sometimes they'd do extra stuff like cleaning my mirrors, I have alot of mirrors in my house! LOL I just like them.
Our leaves are falling too. Chloe loves it! She likes crunching them with her feet.
Thats funny about the goat! Sounds like a fun day at the farm.
Your mom is still doing well. Thats awesome! And she still lives on her own too. How does she do with cooking?
Oh, dh and I had a date night last night. We went to the casino for a couple hours. We ran into friends we haven't seen in a long time. So it was fun to catch up with them.
We had problems with my dd's bf last night. He just walked in our house without knocking! Then he informs my dh that he drives my dd's car! Thats a problem. I have her on my insurance! So we will be talking about that.
Well, ttyl.....
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Old 10-13-2013, 07:55 AM   #1017
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I agree, Debby. And if I had someone come to clean, what would they do with the little things that tend to get placed on coffee tables, etc. Make neat little piles so they can clean around them? I try to keep clutter to a minimum but I was raised in a cluttered house and that tends to either drive you completely in the other direction or makes you desensitized to it.

It's only 54 degrees outside right now, at 10:45 am. They're mowing the lawn across the street at the firehouse. Feels nice that I don't have to go to work today. It's my last day of "anything goes" as far as eating and drinking and I'm glad to be done with it. I am so ready. I'm going to go through my pantry and make a care package of a few bags of food to put in the Food Pantry donation box at the grocery store down the street. I want to literally make a clean start.

I'm brewing a nice, fresh pot of coffee with cinnamon and nutmeg. When I go grocery shopping again, I'll buy some Pumpkin Pie spice and use that in the coffee grounds.

Time to update my daily note. Ttyl, ladies. Have a nice day.
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Old 10-13-2013, 08:41 AM   #1018
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Hahahaha!! I use to have ppl come to clean my bathrooms, do the floors, and dust. That was a while ago. I did away with that to save money. But it was nice. Sometimes they'd do extra stuff like cleaning my mirrors, I have alot of mirrors in my house! LOL I just like them.
Our leaves are falling too. Chloe loves it! She likes crunching them with her feet.
Thats funny about the goat! Sounds like a fun day at the farm.
Your mom is still doing well. Thats awesome! And she still lives on her own too. How does she do with cooking?
Oh, dh and I had a date night last night. We went to the casino for a couple hours. We ran into friends we haven't seen in a long time. So it was fun to catch up with them.
We had problems with my dd's bf last night. He just walked in our house without knocking! Then he informs my dh that he drives my dd's car! Thats a problem. I have her on my insurance! So we will be talking about that.
Well, ttyl.....
I like mirrors, too. I have two oval decoratively-framed mirrors (one old and heavy and must be an antique; bought that at a tag sale and one cheap and light-weight but looks like it's the younger sister to the big heavy one) and one huge rectangular one with the same kind of frame around it.

My Mom lives in one of those elderly housing complexes. They are nice. She's got an end unit and everyone has their own front and back door. The facility takes care of lawn and parking lot stuff, their are laundry machines in the community room and a place for people to gather and play Bingo or what-have-you. They haven't had Bingo games for a long time, though. The caller of the numbers either died or put in a nursing home. I guess nobody wanted to take over the job. Old farts.

Speaking of old farts, my second cousin Joan in WPB Florida just called me and we yacked for about 40 minutes. That was a very short call when it comes to me and Joan. She's got a second-hand laptop computer from her daughter and she's ready to throw in the towel on trying to get it up and running. She says it's so slow. I asked if she was using a dial-up connection and she said she has U-verse. So the problem is just that the laptop is older. I told her to call me sometime and she can put me on speaker and I can talk her through it, then she can just put it on "sleep" or hibernation mode and it will be quick to start it back up every time thereafter. She's going to call me next Thursday afternoon. Lord, give us both patience please.

Okay. So back to your post, Tammy. Mom cooks balanced meals and eats things like greek yogurt and stuff. She's funny. She always has a meat, a starch and a green veggie. I should eat the way she eats. If I had always eaten that way, I probably wouldn't have acquired obesity. The art of making a meal for lunch and dinner was never learned by me. I just eat whenever, and whatever.

You had a date night? WTG! That's wonderful. Sounds like you had a good time, too. Did you win or lose? Hope you at least broke even. I used to love when you could take $20 and hit the right machine and play for a couple of hours. You always ended up losing the money but if you can play and have fun with it for a while, who cares!

That father of Chloe's has something wrong with him. Just walking in like that? And why on earth would your daughter let him drive her car? For what reason? They aren't a couple anymore. Kids are just freaking clueless these days. And they stay kids up until they are about 30.

Anyway, this post has taken at least an hour to write because of my phone call. I'm ending it here so I can get on with my day. Hugs and lots of love.
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:09 AM   #1019
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Noooo! It was my dd's boyfriend who did that and driving her car. I haven't brought it up but shes walking around here with an attitude bc we told her when we were leaving the casino he had to go home. Guess he stayed at his sister's. She lives around the corner from us. We don't wanna see him today either. We are liking him less and less. Well, I never really "liked" him. I tolerate him for my dd. LOL My dh never got why I didn't and now he's seeing why. I think my dd just wants a "family" for Chloe so bad she's overlooking so much.
Thats good your mom takes care of herself. So many elderly can't when they get to their 80's. My grandma was 85 when she passed and she lived alone, drove to nearby places and could take care of herself til the cancer got the best of her.
I'm waiting to watch the steeler game and hope they can get a win! They're awful this year. The worst in the NFL! UGH!
Have a good day!
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:15 AM   #1020
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I'm sorry I got all discombobulated with the whole guy thing in my head. Okay. That makes a lot more sense, but still weird that he just walked into the house like he belonged there. What don't you like about him? All this time from what you'd been saying about him and how he is with your daughter, he sounded like such a "keeper."

I am running out of hours today, rapidly. I have to get off this computer. Have a good one, ladies.
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