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Old 07-19-2013, 08:02 PM   #451
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Well, the bird bath is a hanging one and she had it on a shepard's hook in her veggie garden in her backyard area. Their concerns are over drawing rats. When they used to be able to have bird feeders, she was always feeding the birds. But then one year rats came around and then all feeders were forbidden. I guess some saw this waterer hanging behind her apartment and didn't bother to notice it wasn't food.

I got your email and I sent a reply. Glad for all the news. Heading off to bed now. Hope everyone has a great night's sleep and pleasant dreams.
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Old 07-20-2013, 12:03 PM   #452
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THE STORMS ARE COMING! Bring it, baby! Bring it! I can't wait for this heat wave to be over. I'm thinking of that song by The Who: "Rain on me!"

I just did my errands and now I can sit back and watch the show. Cissy's not nervous yet so it might be a while still before they hit our area. I'm watching the radar and there are little bursts going through the state but to either side of me.

I saw an interesting news clip on internet news today. CT is the 3rd most expensive state to live in, in all 50 states. Even more expensive than New York and California! First was Hawaii and second was Alaska. I won't shed too many tears if I get to move someplace else when my sister and her husband sell their home and move away to be nearer to their grown kids. They said it will be on a coast but there's no telling if it will be East or West. I'm hoping for West but I know they want to stay East so they can drive back to CT to see his and our family.

I was so broke yesterday because refunds that I had been expecting to arrive in my checking account had not yet been deposited. I had to drive to the bank to put my last $10 in to prevent the mechanic's check from bouncing, if he in fact deposited it yet. Then today I got one of the refunds and I'm once again safe. I get desperate when I get that broke. Wednesday is payday from the farm. I'll be okay now until then.

I got an email about that mattress I bought. I put it for sale online and I finally got a nibble. He said he'd call me back and sounded like he'd be coming today but I had to warn him about the storms. I don't want to delay his coming or the mattress's departure but I would hate for him to get caught in the storm with the mattress getting soaked.

Picnic tomorrow and I don't have to work. So my three days this week will be Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

I made some coffee today for the first time in weeks and then I realized that my half and half was probably no good anymore. One whiff and down the sink it went. So I bought a fresh bottle at the store and I'm good to go once again. I'll probably make it into iced coffee now, cause it is already pretty cool.

Hope everyone is having a good day. Stay cool!
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Old 07-20-2013, 12:42 PM   #453
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Wow, that's so great, what a God thing... the check coming in today. Things are smoothing out, that's good.
Hope you enjoy the storm. Nice when its not posing a threat. Hopefully can sell another day.

I'm drinking lots of iced coffee lately. Can't imagine going that long without coffee! I actually made some real coffee today too. I mostly drink instant because the caffeine is lower.

Its a lovely, windy day here. Only 70 degrees now. DH opened the windows because the house was 77... I had to change clothes... too cold!
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Old 07-20-2013, 01:05 PM   #454
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Wow. Too cold!? I'm so jealous! But I don't think we're that far behind you. I hope the forecasters are correct about how much milder it's going to be after today. And I agree about the check and the God-thing. He keeps me afloat and I adore him.

I stopped drinking coffee when I began another rogue hcg round in earnest. I switched to bottled diet iced tea, which I enjoyed but for some reason tasted so sweet. Maybe it's the Aspartame? But I ran out of iced tea and the store didn't have the same brand so I went back to coffee. Also cause I derailed on the round. And the other day, I bought a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and it really hit the spot.

When my funds are scraping the bottom of the barrel, for some reason I want to eat everything in sight. Anything I already have and don't have to buy. It's almost like it's a rebellion against the sense of poverty I'm feeling at the moment. I have to show myself that I'm really not that bad-off. It's crazy and psychologically twisted and I wish I could pull my brain out and iron it flat so my thought processes and feelings were all in a nice, orderly row.

There's nothing on TV and little going on here on LCF so I'm going to pop in a DVD and enjoy that for a while. Ttyl, ladies.
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Old 07-21-2013, 10:47 PM   #455
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Just a snippet for the heck of it. No activity here for over a day but I had a family picnic today and had the day off work by switching with another girl. It was the right move. I had such a good time. I reunited with a cousin who was so close to me when we were children. She kept saying, "Do you remember when we....?" And my answer was always, "No. I can't remember any of that."

Why? Why can't I remember things that should have been fond memories amidst the non-happy times? She says she has letters I wrote her and pictures I sent her from when I lived in Texas. I don't recall writing them. I said I'd love to read them with her sometime at her home when she finds them and has some time to spend with me.

I feel like I've been living in some sort of state of suspended animation. I understand why a person would suppress bad memories, but why would I forget good times? It's like I lost complete touch with who I was or what made me who I am. I'm afraid but I need to delve into this.

I can't explain what I'm feeling. I can't describe what it's like when someone who is close to you has detailed memories of things you've done together and you can't recollect any of it. What could make someone forget so much of their life?

I'm saddened by all of this but I needed to write it down before going to bed. Apparently I need to spend less time online and more time in real relationships, nurturing what I have before it is lost. Food for thought.

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Old 07-22-2013, 03:39 AM   #456
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I don't know why you wouldn't remember some things when you were younger. I can remember things from when I was a kid, but not everything! Maybe if you do read those letters, it'll jar your memory.
I've been awake since 4 a.m. I have so much on my mind. My poor son is just beside himself. Hes devastated over breaking up with his gf. Shes been lying to him and he was believing her. Then she puts a picture of her and a guy kissing on fb and my son saw it!!!! Why would she do that !?!? When he comes home, all hell is going to break out. We have to get his military stuff out of her house. He said he has like $20,000 worth of stuff. My dd messaged her mom and said we want his things, to let us know when we can get it and if we don't hear from her Shawn will press charges. This is a big mess and makes me mad that I'm involved in it.
I hope your day is good! Glad you spent time with your family. ttys!
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Old 07-22-2013, 09:50 AM   #457
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Cheryl, yes that is strange ! I don't remember too much until about 5 yrs old, my DH remembers things from much earlier ! But, in general I remember faces.....for years and years...... names I'm terrible with ! Hope you get to the bottom of it !

Tay .....so sorry for you and your son. ;(
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Old 07-22-2013, 10:11 AM   #458
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OMG, Tammy. I'm so sorry. What a mess! But you guys tried your best to warn him and this will hopefully be a lesson that will cure him of falling for the wrong women. I hope you can get all his things back. Has she been taken off of his checking account? I know you said she had access to his money. What a terrible person she must be to do something so openly hurtful to someone who is overseas. I can't imagine what he must be going through right now. I will pray for him and for all of you about this situation.

About the memory thing, I've known I had memory problems about things in the past, but I guess I didn't realize the true extent of the memory lapses until yesterday. I hope it's not some sign that I'll end up with dementia or Alzheimer's.

Had a weird experience when I woke up today. I was gathering clothes to do a load and I found a dead bird on my bedroom floor, right beside the window I left open for Cisco yesterday (I use it as a doggy door when the weather permits and I'm going to be away most of the day.) The bird must have flown in through the window but I don't understand why it didn't fly right back out. Poor thing must have died of fright. But it's a mystery. I showed the dead bird to Cisco and she showed no interest in it; no guilt or whatever. I thought she might have caught it but that didn't seem to be what happened either.

I have work today. Have a nice day, everyone. Hugs and kisses.
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Old 07-22-2013, 10:41 AM   #459
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Hey Cheryl,
You know, the enemy would like to use that "memory thing" to derail you. We need to look up & think on the positive. I was thinking how excited I would be to learn things from the past, not let it put doubt on your mind. We've all forgotten things, people, places, experiences. When she shares the letters with you it will most likely bring back some memory of it, but if it doesn't, that doesn't mean a thing, really. Happens to us all. I'd hate to see you go down that road. I used to be so stuck on "what's wrong with me" & it was not fruitful, only selfish & destructive to myself & my relationships. It can really be a "pit."
Please keep your mind on those things that are good, positive. Things that will help you be a better you!

Here's a scripture to meditate on...
  1. Philippians 4:8 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.
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Old 07-22-2013, 10:54 AM   #460
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Thank you, sweetie. I will really try to do that.
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Old 07-22-2013, 06:11 PM   #461
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Good! And be sure to give me the same advice when I need it (please)!
I really hope your day at work went well & was fun...
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Old 07-22-2013, 07:32 PM   #462
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I will. I did have a good day at work. I'll copy/paste the story from the horse lover's thread so I don't need to write it twice. Thanks for stopping by, darling.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CherylB
I went to work. Temps a lot lower but humidity is still high so I'm sweating just as badly as I have been. I got so many bug bites today. I used my own Deet product and then sprayed my whole body (clothes and all) with the horse's bug spray and I was still getting eaten alive.

Brought the horses in early cause of the bugs. Red was trotting around so I knew he was done. But later when I was doing the paddock waters, I saw a lot of eyes looking at me. I brought the rest of them in at that time. Everyone got re-sprayed. I even did the mini's and the goat. Poor Domenic was in misery. So I put his halter on and sprayed him first, then he became my helper with the two other mini's! It was adorable. It was as if he was helping me corner each mini so I could get the halter on them, then he seemed to be trying to keep them calm and steady as I sprayed them. The Farrier says that Donkey's are way smarter than horses and after that experience, I'd have to agree.

The helper I have on Mondays is very young and a nice girl but she doesn't take hints well. I literally told her that we were all done three times before I finally had to say, "Really. There's nothing left to do so you can call your Dad." I wanted to re-sweep the barn which is something she had already done but it was done poorly. Didn't want to offend her but I won't leave the barn like that.

I had lots of fun at the family picnic yesterday. Had a little too much to drink but didn't become obnoxious or anything. I will be getting together with my cousins again soon. My aunt and uncle too. They really made the party nice with decorations and a tent for over the tables and all that stuff. Tiki torches, and the whole 9 yards. Next party needs to be at my place so I need to start working things out. Next event is my birthday so I guess we'll have it here.

Last year we had it here and it was so unbelievably hot and oppressive. I hope this time it's very pleasant. SO wish I had a pool. Then we could have fun no matter how hot it got.

So, that's all the news here for now. Anyone out there tonight?
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Old 07-22-2013, 09:09 PM   #463
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Yeah! Sounds like a good day at work, some fun things & feeling of accomplishment & pride in your work. Bad flies!
Glad your time with family was overall good. It is good to have family ties
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Old 07-23-2013, 07:49 AM   #464
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I wish there was a "like" button cause I'd "like" Debby's post!
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Old 07-23-2013, 09:05 AM   #465
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Yep; it was an over-all good day at work. And I'd like the part about the "bad flies!"

Day off. Finally told landlady that the new modem came. She said she could come tomorrow to hook it up and I said that was fine. Just hope she comes before I have to leave for work. And I hope that for her sake, it goes smoothly. She went through a lot of grief last time when the internet was lost just because there was a storm near us. We didn't lose power but the internet went on the fritz.

I hope we all have a lovely day.
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Old 07-23-2013, 05:26 PM   #466
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I bought a kayak paddle tonight! The store that said they were out of them said they had one paddle when I called them tonight. It was sitting in a basket at the front of the store, so it was a return that hadn't been put back on the shelf yet. And it looks perfect for my purposes. Now I just need a life vest and a helmet. And a skirt. And a vest for Cissy, so she can swim around while I'm paddling.

It feels good to be one step closer to getting in the boat. I got the stickers and paid the $5 fee to use the boat at the Fish and Game ponds. I'm legal. Maybe if the weather holds out on Thursday, I'll go putz around at the pond with Cisco. I'll stay near the shore so she can swim and then get out and walk if she gets tired.

I get paid tomorrow but what I've been running on the past two days have been rebates/refunds for things I bought. I paid (too hastily) for the kayak class on August 3 and asked them to refund my money, assuring them I'd sign up again when I got paid. They did that for me, no questions asked. (Sign of a great organization.) I got refunded for the hcg pellets I bought, thinking they were the same Vox pellets I had in the past.

I reposted a few items for sale on Craigslist and lowered the price again on the mattress I recently bought. I shouldn't have warned that guy about the storms cause they never came and now he bought another mattress somewhere else. He didn't tell me until I wrote and asked if he was still interested.

I just want to get out from under some things that have value, are in like-new condition but I never use. It's such a hard time to sell things. Everyone wants something for next-to-nothing. I guess that's me, too. But I have no problem paying full asking price when I know it's already a great deal (like the kayak.)

Working tomorrow afternoon. Today was another day where the storm cells were moving through the state but none over my area. So weird. I don't care so long as the humidity gets swept out to sea. Later, humidity! MUCH later.

Is anyone out there tonight? I feel like when I stop doing well on my diet that everyone bails on me. (I know that's not entirely true, but it feels that way.) It's weird and it isn't a good feeling. The fact is, even when I start losing again, I'm going to keep the numbers and details under my hat. I'm too sensitive to reactions from others regarding how well I'm doing. I have tried everything BUT keeping my mouth shut. I will shoot for shut.

Goodnight, ladies. I guess I'll check back later on before I go to bed. I'm a kayak paddle owner!!

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Old 07-23-2013, 09:32 PM   #467
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Hi Cheryl,
So glad you got your paddle. One step closer. Should be fun for you.
We had a board meeting tonight. Nice & short
I've noticed all the boards are quiet right now. Think its just summer kicking in.
Good night
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:31 PM   #468
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Night.
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:04 PM   #469
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OMG, ladies. I missed a staff meeting today (which nobody told me about so I have no guilt, but I should have attended.) I asked what I missed at the meeting and this girl who is probably THE most important barn worker we have said to me that she may be leaving us for a full-time barn worker job. HOLY @$^%~! She says she needs the money.

Then I asked the manager more about it and also what else I missed at the meeting and found out that the girl will work 4 10-hour days and then have 4 days off; rinse and repeat. But there are 30 horses at this other place and it sounds like she'll be doing all the work herself.

I have no other information about what kind of facility it is but it doesn't sound like she's going to get much riding or schooling time. My head is spinning. I wish to God I had known about this meeting. How the heck could I not have been told about it? I went back through my emails all the way to mid-June and there was nothing. And I check my spam folder regularly looking for misplaced emails.

So if she takes this job, it sounds like it's going to happen pretty quickly. So there is going to be a lot of barn shifts opening up unless they find someone to take her place in a big hurry. I can't do what she does. I can't ride. I can school if I'm working from the ground. I need practice with longing and longlining but I know I can pick those up quickly if I repeat it multiple times a week.

This place feels like it's coming apart at the seams. The other barn girl was thinking she would be moving to AZ to be with her Dad but she decided not to move. Then out of the blue, this third barn girl is saying Adios Amigos! I have so many questions and I want answers. I don't know who to ask, though. The world is a shaky place right now.

One of the truly weird things about this is that the founder of the therapeutic riding center is the one who put the barn girl in touch with this other place about the job. Was she trying to undermine us or was she clueless as to what would happen if she took the position?

The one thing I know for sure is that there are now opportunities that are opening up rapidly. I have to take myself to the next level at the farm so I can try and fill in her shoes. I've been taught how to longline and lunge so I need to get off my lazy arse and go practice during my days off. It's the only way I'm going to grow.

Isn't this nuts?
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:50 PM   #470
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Wow, that is an interesting development. Hope it does open up new doors for you. Wonder if the meeting was just announced at the last one that you missed?

Hope you can get the energy for "whipping your body" into gear.
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Old 07-24-2013, 07:42 PM   #471
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Me too! But I never missed a staff meeting before. And they don't know that far in advance when the next meeting will be. I just never got the email. Sucks cause this meeting was a whopper!
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Old 07-25-2013, 09:34 AM   #472
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It was so comfortably cool last night that I decided to turn off the a/c's and fans and open most of my windows. I slept so well and when I woke up, it was overcast and even cooler than it was last night! Only 57 degrees right now and will max out around 63. Did they predict this? Nope. I don't know why I bother watching weather forecasts. But I'm thrilled for this taste of Autumn, which won't last.

Have a great day!
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Old 07-25-2013, 09:37 AM   #473
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Old 07-25-2013, 10:28 AM   #474
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Thanks for thinking of me, Jessica! Have been wondering how you are. Will do a drive-by on your thread, too.
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Old 07-25-2013, 01:37 PM   #475
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Man, your weather sounds AMAZING! A little hint that fall is out there!
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Old 07-25-2013, 02:48 PM   #476
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I know it, Jess. A reminder that summer won't last forever. It's only a matter of about 4 more weeks and it's done. I can last that long.

I'm watching Hatfields and McCoys on Netflix. I've seen it before and it was disturbing enough the first time, but I'm bored so I decided to watch it again. It's crazy how one thing after another just builds up and becomes some giant insurmountable issue. And how they called themselves Christian is beyond me.
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Old 07-26-2013, 09:04 AM   #477
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Hi ! Hope you didn't do too much damage yesterday. You know what I'm talking about. Today is a new day.
Its been nice here. I like this decent weather we're having. I wish it would stay this way all year. It would be lovely! LOL Wishful thinking on my part!
I've been bouncing around weight wise, but today was a new low! It's coming off slowwwwly. I wish I could get get out and walk. Especially on these beautiful days. I may take chloe in her stroller today and stay on flat ground. I can always borrow a step and rest. Who's gonna kick an old lady pushing a 2 yr old off their step? LOL No, theres plenty of stores and churches!
Gonna try some Italian turkey meatballs today. I never ate them before. Just keeping my fingers crossed they taste good.
Well, you all have a good day Cheryl , Debby and Jess!
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:13 AM   #478
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Cheryl, I loved the Hatfields and McCoys! It was sad and disturbing, but so good! Hey, have you watched House of Cards yet, the original series from Netflix? It stars Kevin Spacey as a senator and Robin Wright as his conniving wife. It is SO darned good. You know how you just can't look away from Kevin Spacey any time he's onscreen. I watched six episodes in a row while I was in WA. There are 13 total, so I'm planning to start watching the rest today! (If I can figure out how to get my TV onto Netflix. Everything is changed since I got Directv...)

Hallie tells me that Netflix's other original series, Orange is the New Black, is even better. Got that on my mental "to do" list, too!

So, it's cool and rainy here today! I had to laugh, because when I went out yesterday to get that pillow at Costco (which I did find, and love!), I drove by the car wash. Due to Dave's new motorcycle still being in my garage stall, my car sat outside the whole week I was in Seattle, so it had about a half inch of dust on it. So I drove through the automated wash. Not two hours later, it rained! Geez....it goes the better part of a year without raining here, then I wash my car and the clouds unleash--and on a perfectly sunny July day. Amazing...

Wishing you a great day, too, Tammy! Life is short--live in the moment and cherish every single day for its blessings--that's my new mantra.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:19 AM   #479
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Posts: 19,275
Gallery: CherylB
I agree with you, Tammy. I love this weather so much. I'm glad we got another day like yesterday, but just a bit warmer. It will be nice to work out in this today. Congrats on the new low! That's wonderful, honey. KUTGW and good for you for wanting to take those sore tootsies outdoors and walk with Chloe. Rest every chance you get.

I have Cisco on the treadmill right now. I'm so glad I brought that up to the front of the house. Now for ME to get on it. I read something that one of the other barn girls wrote on Facebook the other day: "Just a few seconds away from a 7-minute mile." I never even knew she was a runner! She's 21 so, there's that. But she is a vegetarian and works hard keeping fit. I think she used to be quite chunky. She's the one that is contemplating taking that full-time job at another farm.

Looks like I've been assigned two tasks at this Sunday's fund raiser so looks like I'm going before work. It won't be that bad but I was hoping to skip it this year. I'll do my part. The tasks are simple and so I can handle them. And if need be, I can leave early to go home and get changed for work.

I had a much more helpful mindset when I was just volunteering there. Now I have that "staff member mentality." It changes everything somehow. I need to remember that I used to be helping in multiple areas and need to continue to do that, as before.

I need to run down to Walmart tomorrow and buy a few summer clothing items. I have literally worn out some of the capris that fit me so comfortably. I had to toss them in the garbage recently. I must must must buy some new stuff. So, that will be tomorrow. Then I'll have something nice and pretty to wear to the fund raiser.

I'm not going to fill the bird feeder on the front porch anymore. The only birds that eat from that are those little drab house finches that come in droves and take over everything. They've been loving the waterer/bird bath so maybe that will be enough to keep them happy. They need to eat bugs during this season of insects. Do your part to keep the bugs away, little birdies!

My birthday is sneaking up on me once again. 52 years old and still in the 200 lb range. I guess when I get mad enough and sick enough about the facts, I'll do something lasting about it. I tried to make a list of all the things I like about being fat, to get some insight into what keeps me here. It was an interesting exercise but I don't think I got to the bottom of it. What it revealed is I am still the baby of the family; a brat to the core. I want what I want, when I want, whenever I want it. I don't want to live in a world of "no."

But looking at it differently, in choosing to be this uncontrollable brat and eating/drinking all that I want to, I essentially say "no" to being comfortable in my own skin, to having inner peace and contentment, to wearing pretty clothes and to possibly getting well enough to actually ride the horses. Those are some pretty big things. Time to grow up. HIGH time.

Well, food for thought. If I have some moments to actually contemplate things as I work today, I will "think on these things." Have a lovely Friday, ladies. I'm having trouble remembering what day it is lately. I'm all askew.
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Old 07-26-2013, 10:20 AM   #480
Major LCF Poster!
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,794
Gallery: catjrow3
Stats: 240/177/150
WOE: NK - LCHF
Start Date: 05/18/2013 (restart of course)
Jessica, just wanted to comment, I watched Orange is the New Black, I liked it! Could not get into house of cards, but liked the other one!

Waving Hi Cheryl, still lurking occasionally, hope you are doing well. How is the barn going? Heat any better up there yet??
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