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Old 06-15-2013, 08:24 PM   #271
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Atta girl, Cheryl. Back on that wagon. You were SO happy back when you were in the 160s. I want to see you there, and happy like that, again!
Amen, Jessica. Thanks for being on my journey yet again.
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Old 06-15-2013, 08:39 PM   #272
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I don't think I could teach ppl. I don't have the patience for that.
It got pretty warm today. I took Chloe and left the house at 10:30 this a.m. We sent Shawn a pkg, went to 6 lousy yard sales, went to lunch, took her to the outlets and she picked out sandals and 3 cute shirts then we came home at 4 p.m. Busy day! She only took a short nap in the car and she's still up! LOL We had so much fun and while we were at the restaurant she kept hugging and kissing me! Then she was singing "I don't care, I love it!" You know the song? Its her favorite, besides Taylor Swift.
I just gave her a bath so she's ready for bed.
I don't know that song but I love the relationship you have with little miss Chloe. Glad you mailed another package to DS. God bless him and his troops out there in the thick of it. Teaching is not my strong suit either. I'd much rather tell it like it is and let the chips fall where they may, but I have to remember that we all start at the ground floor and work our way up. Some don't bother to take the time to work their way up, but the ones that want to stick around and learn, I'm more than happy to teach.

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Had to cut that short bc my dd brought Chloe up to me bc she was crying for me to put her to sleep and she told my dd to leave! LOL
I didnt eat great today, but lunch filled me up for the day. I should be ok on the scale.
How often are you going to weigh in? I have to weigh everyday to stay on top of things. The fluctuations don't bother me.
well, going to sleep. Good night....
I'm going to weigh daily just to get a reality check. In these first few days I'm just trying to establish new patterns of behavior and break some old ones. I haven't got high expectations for drops on the scale just yet but it will come. My body is so used to being fed such an excess of food and drink that it's going to be a little while before it gets the message that "times, they are a changing." But the $#^@ is going down, whether it likes it or not.

I'm sad for your daughter when Chloe gives her the shove but maybe that will cause her to put forth a greater effort to bond with her the way that you have. The sheer number of hours you spend with her can not be matched by your dd. She's going to have to come up with some special Mommy/daughter time so she stands out in her own right as her Mom.

Grandma's are great and especially ones like you, but there can only be one mom.

It's late, meds are kicking in, thank you LORD, I'm heading for the hay. Night, y'all. Got some sleeping to make up for. Was horrible last night.

PS: I just watched an amazing program on Autism on Netflix. Astounding and incredibly thought-provoking. We have so many Autistic kids on the farm. I hope I can take what I learned in this program and use it to help relate to those kids. Please Lord! Help the researchers to find a cure or at least an effective, simple treatment for such an incredibly wide-spread, devastating condition.

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn't been infertile, if I would have had a child with a condition like this. I have to believe that God spared me a lifetime of more than I could bare.

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Old 06-16-2013, 03:19 PM   #273
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You're right about my dd spending quality time with Chloe. She does spend time with her but alot of times its her on her cell phone and Chloe playing alone or ending up with me. I tell her I love being Chloe's "mamaw", and that is all I want to be. I have raised my kids and there's a reason I only had 2 kids. I didn't want more! I love Chloe, but sometimes I want to relax.
Today my dd, Chloe and dd's bf went to breakfast then church to see his dad preach. Chloe told me to come with them! LOL I told her I'd be home when she got home.
Ran out to the mall to go to the food court. I got a turkey and ham subway sub and got dh a steak sub from Charley's and some bacon and cheddar fries. I had yogurt and some cereal for breakfast this morning. I'll have popcorn for a snack tonight. Mmmm!
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Old 06-16-2013, 08:03 PM   #274
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I'm sorry dd isn't more engaged with Chloe when they are together. It's not fair to you or to Chloe. Your daughter clearly takes you both for granted. With all your health concerns, I wonder how she manages to do that. When (if) it ever becomes difficult for you to do all that you do for Chloe, she's going to have a huge wake-up call. I hope it doesn't come down to that.

Today went super well. The storm stayed on the horizon and the three well-seasoned volunteers showed up and basically did all the major work and I just did the feeding and brought the mini's in from their paddock, took care of the waters, etc. They took care of so much that it was like having a day off. But I know how enjoyable it is to be able to groom the horses, lead them to the barn, take them back to their areas, etc. It's a labor of love and I'm glad I can trust them with those responsibilities and privileges. I always let them know they are appreciated.

I saw a deer on the way home! She crossed right in front of my car on a back road. I was coming near to a stop sign so I was going slowly anyway. I never see deer so I was especially blessed to see this doe. I stopped the car and looked at her, and she looked back at me from the woods. It was lovely.

Sleep tight, ladies. I am on-track diet-wise today. I didn't go to the store to see what goodies were available for half-price at the deli counter. I came home and made a sandwich with the sausage and peppers I got from said deli counter about 4 days ago. It was delicious.
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:37 PM   #275
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Hi!
Sorry no pictures tonight... visited with our hosts too late.
Hope things are going well.
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:05 AM   #276
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Off to a slow start but at least I finally am "off." Ya know? It is a really hard thing to break bad habits that are so ingrained from diligently practicing them day upon day, month after month. And I really do believe that I have this stupid night eating disorder. For which there is no treatment, other than talking about it and "inner work."

I'll work around it and no longer buy the trigger foods. The list of those has grown. Basically, I have to only buy boring food. The kind you eat because there's nothing else in the house. The kind you see when you're standing in front of the pantry or fridge, looking around and then close the door and walk away.

Sunny and humid today. I don't think we ever got that T-storm last night. I have the a/c on and fans blowing the cooler air into the kitchen and back room off the kitchen. I never installed the 3rd window a/c but it seems to work fine with this system. I don't do much in that back room. It is my office/treadmill/pantry/bookshelf/kitchen gadget room. Yeah; it's a nightmare.

I turned the closet into a pantry, the book case is a tall one and in a narrow space on the same wall as the closet, so that works. It's just gotten cluttered since I bought the Pilates machines. Now there's a chair and end table in there, waiting for me to figure out what to do with them. What I need to do is get rid of the big corner desk, sell the computer in there (old and never use it), and take all the exercise stuff and put them in there. Then the chair can return to the living room. I'm just afraid that if all the exercise stuff was tucked away in a room I rarely enter, I'll forget that they're there.

Work again today. Sweat City. Need to go check the forecast. Need a hair cut. OMG do I need a hair cut. Wish I knew someone who cuts hair cause I hate to go to those "Super Cuts" type places. I tried years ago to find a real salon and a steady stylist but they are hard to find. They don't often stay where they are.

It would help if I could tell them what I want. Time to hit the internet and look around for something I can take with me to say, "I want this!" Something realistic for me. Ya know?

Okay. Must drink my coffee and get into the right mindset for working and being bitten by bugs. I had one big nasty ole horse fly that was biting me yesterday. On the back of my leg, just above my plastic muck boots, through my pants. I had to go to the barn and grab the horse's bug spray and then went over all my clothed areas. I had already used my own stuff on my uncovered areas.

Dear Lord, please let things go smoothly today. Let all the side walkers, leaders and team captain come as they are supposed to. Thank you for always hearing my prayers. Amen!
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:18 AM   #277
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So, does the doe live close by? You said she was on her way home! LOL My dad does that to me all the time! hahaha
I saw a doe in someone's yard Saturday when chloe and I were going to yard sales. We have lots of deer. Even in town.
You had a good day yesterday. About time! You work so hard and deserve a great day.
The scale bounced up today....i knew it would after a sub. I ate a whole foot long! LOL I'll eat light today and drink more water. I ate cottage cheese and strawberries for breakfast. Chloe helped with the strawberries, of course.
Hubby is playing hookie today so he better not get on my nerves.
I have decided to take Chloe to Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Gardens next month. It'll be fun, just the two of us. I'm hesitant bc of my legs, but I can't live in fear of pain. I'll make the best of it.
I'll bbl....have a great day!
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:33 AM   #278
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No, silly. I was on my way home when I saw the doe. But cute that you read it like that. Your Dad sounds like a fungi.

Have you ever thought about getting a power scooter or chair for places like the zoo? I know you don't want to think about using one of those, but if used just at places where there is a lot of walking, what a blessing it would be to own one. My Mom needed one last year at our local Country Fair and we didn't have a chair for her. (Just a regular wheelchair is what we needed. We were going to push her around.) This year, we'll have to plan ahead. Maybe I can borrow one from somebody local.

Are you still trying to be to Onederland, like me? We'll get there! Day by day, hour by hour, we will get there. I like the pic I put in my siggy. I put it there mostly for myself. You own that too and we'll both benefit.

Hope hubby doesn't complicate your day today. Have a good one! BBL.
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Old 06-17-2013, 10:46 PM   #279
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Howdy stranger! Sorry I've been offline-crazy busy . So glad to see you back on track and so motivated!! Im happy for you wishing you much success!!
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Old 06-18-2013, 03:29 AM   #280
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Hi Cheryl

How are you doing with the pilates machine?
Great to see you are busy and things are running smoothly. Had a long weekend holiday here. Pretty sweet considering that the weather has become much warmer here. good luck with the hair do- I've had my hairdresser for the last 13 years! boring I know but she understands me and does not try any funny stuff.
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Old 06-18-2013, 09:10 AM   #281
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Thanks, Julie! Will be catching up with you after I'm through over here.

, Lola! Wonderful to see you, as always. Pilates machines. Well, I tried to do the one thing that interested me the most on the reformer (which apparently is an advanced move). I am not ready for that and it was a shocker to see my ginormous legs up in the air like that. Never try stuff like that without wearing clothing. (Note to self and to anyone else who's listening.) I will be using the chair more than the reformer for a while, but you know me. I don't love exercise and haven't used them yet. But they're mine! All mine.

It's gotten warmer down there? Ain't it still winter? Just a warm spell or is winter winding down already? It can't be cause it's not even the middle of summer here. The worst is yet to arrive. UGH!

Have you had anymore ultrasounds? Any baby news? How's LG? Is she happy to be having a sibling or are you keeping this on the down-low? I'm so thrilled things are progressing as they should be and I thank God every time I see you and you are still moving along.

I got to move one bead (really a colored glass oddly shaped marble, used in vases) into the lost jar!! I'm getting better with my eating daily and even bought some sugarless gum yesterday. I remember I stopped chewing it because I would chew it up so fast, but always at night. Well, chewing gum (regardless of how fast) is going to keep my calories way down. It will keep my "night eating syndrome" busy and keep me out of the kitchen. Glad I thought to buy some.

Another day like yesterday ahead of us, but I think it's a bit warmer and just as humid. Another line of T-storms passing through or by; we won't know until it's on the other side of us. Strong winds, frequent lightning, yada yada. Working outside in CT is a drag. It's a total crap shoot.

So, I will bbl and talk with y'all again. Will get home earlier (God-willing) tonight than yesterday. I stopped at three stores after work last night. Tonight, straight home.
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Old 06-18-2013, 11:33 AM   #282
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Yeah, I use one of those electric chairs when I go to WalMart and I know I'll be there a while. A few years ago we went to an amusement park for my dh's job and we ended up having to get a wheelchair. Renting an electric chair (IF they woulda had any) would've been too costly. So dh had to push me around and there were lots of hills! Lucky for him I was kinda light back then. LOL
Dh is always telling me to look into a scooter. I know they have ones that fold up and can go in your trunk. My aunt has one for her MIL and used it for my gma too sometimes.
We're suppose to have "scattered thunderstorms" today. Its in the low 70's, but humid. I'm thinking of taking chloe out to the mall to just walk around and get some of this energy of hers out. Where does she get it!? LOL
I think I'm going to move my furniture around in the bedroom. I don't like where my bed is. It's gonna take me hours to do! I have to take alot of rest breaks.
I'm trying to get to onederland....again! I haven't been in the 2's in a long time. I've lost 4 lbs, so I'll get there eventually.
Better get started on the bedroom. Chloe said she'll help me! LOL
ttys!
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Old 06-18-2013, 02:44 PM   #283
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Yay, Cheryl! Good thinking on the sf gum. I truly believe it's small strategies that make the difference. That's how you move a mountain--you chip away one small rock at a time.

I put up a photo of the game chairs for you. I'm pleased with them. They're super comfortable and won't gather cat hair like the cloth ones did.

I'm just relaxing today. Still decompressing from my crazy busy months of March, April and May. That excessive business did not do my stress levels or my weight any favors. I just need some me time, and am planning to enjoy it.

Good luck with the t-storms. Geez--you've been inundated with them!
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Old 06-18-2013, 08:42 PM   #284
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You're moving furniture???? And thinking about electric chairs and scooters? Girlfriend, you need to be more careful. Who's going to take care of Chloe if you over-do it? Not even that, I don't want to see you in terrible pain. PLEASE be careful. The dang bedroom furniture can wait until DD, DD's BF, DH etc are all arrayed and aligned, ready to be utilized. Plan a sneak attack.

That's right, Jessica. Sometimes we want to use some TNT on that mountain, but the chips do add up. Will be chonking on some gum tonight. I didn't eat before work. I planned to but somehow didn't get there. I drank two big coffees with half and half and ez sweetz, but no solid food until around 9 pm. It's insane how long I can go without eating, but when it's bedtime? Look out.

I just wrote a long story on the horse thread. I'll copy and paste it over here for your entertainment. It was awful again today. CT is no place to have an outdoor job. .... and whatever other signs we have that might apply.

I'm glad your life is more settled again. Just in time to head for Mexico! Settled my foot! I'll go check your journal and ogle over your new chairs. Thanks for posting them.

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Old 06-18-2013, 08:48 PM   #285
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Okay. Here it is. Off to bed now. Sleep tight, ladies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CherylB
Not to change the subject but it's 11pm here and I'm beat. Must get to the point of my day. It rained the entire time I was there. As God as my witness, it stopped raining as I was leaving the last of the 7 stalls after the second pass-through, heading down to the barn to put the fork and wheelbarrow away for the night. Second day in a row like that, only this time the sun didn't come out.

Lots of thunder, no lightning and all lessons were held in the barn. The kids are so over this crappy weather. Two weeks in a row they've been screwed out of riding. It's so heart-breaking. I wish I could come up with a viable suggestion to somehow cover at least part of the arena for rainy weather so they can ride. There has to be something tent or pavilion-like that would work and still hold up in strong winds.

The Farrier came and assessed Cowboy. He didn't take a lot of time doing it and he brought him back and said his feet were still tender. We already knew that. Then he asked if I was doing the feed tonight and I said I was. He asked if he'd been getting Bute and I said I didn't think so. I asked him how often and he said he should have been getting it every day since he re-shod him. He didn't tell the program director or the equine manager this, but I guess he thought it was a no-brainer.

I told him I'd call the manager. Director wasn't there yet. I texted her and asked her to call. She texted back that the Farrier had called her so I just texted, "okay." Later the director comes and I tell her about what the farrier said and she called manager to get the okay to give Bute. She didn't hear back from her. So I'm getting the grain for the barn horses ready and I call the director's phone and she answers. That's when I hear she didn't know if we were giving it to him or not. She says she'll go out and I said I'd meet her in the barn.

End result, we didn't give Bute but did give Banamine. She (manager) called the other barn worker who was working as a program assistant and asked her to give the Banamine. I know I've never given it, but never can be eliminated with one time. So I went inside to the office with the girl as she showed me how to dose the Banamine. Apparently Cowboy weighs a little under 850. I would never have known that, but now I know where the horse details are charted and kept in the office.

So I told her I wanted to administer it to him and she was silent. She's just come of drinking age last year so she's still not the most expressive at times. She said that she didn't know why the manager had called her and not me and that she didn't know if the manager wanted her to give it (and not me.) But I told her I'd never done it, so that's why she called her. But I need to know how, so show me. So I said, come with me out the barn and we'll do this together.

So we went. We did it in his stall with his halter and lead rope on but seeing how he acted, I would put him in the cross-ties the way barn-worker #3 did it once when I was watching. The girl shot it into his mouth as I held him, then she told me that she held his halter with her hand and then opened his mouth with her thumb. In it went and then she held his chin up so he wouldn't spit it out. Apparently that's a possibility.

I am SO tired. I came home and fed the dog, then went straight into the shower. I didn't have a single other desire but to get clean and wash away the next rainy day. Tomorrow is supposed to be dry. I'll believe it when I see it. I'll be doing some happy dancing if it's true, though.

And what really sucked is since they didn't ride the horses for lessons today, they had the horses in the cross ties and had the students "groom" and tack them. Foolish me, I thought the horses would be no longer in need of grooming after that. Not so! And my one and only fabulous barn volunteer got put on the schedule to be a side-walker; not just for the 5 o'clock lesson but the 6 o'clock as well. She didn't even know about it. At some point she just left cause there is little for a side walker to do in a barn lesson.

She didn't come to ask if I needed her to do anything else and that's not like her at all. I need to talk to the scheduler and let her know that this girl is mostly interested in the horse/barn/paddock stuff. I don't want to lose her. She's excellent but very young. Still in high school but I really, REALLY like and appreciate her. I will speak up and make sure this doesn't happen again.

OMG. I think it's raining again. Monsoon season is more than any of us can take. Must find cheap and reliable way to cover a portion of arena. Will be my next project. If you want something done, do it yourself. If you wait around for others to want it as badly as you want it, you'll be waiting for eons.

Goodnight, ladies. Hope this barn story satisfied. Would love to hear your thoughts on Bute, Banamine, etc. We could also talk about bloated horses, but that's a story and topic for another day.
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Old 06-19-2013, 06:36 AM   #286
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We had a loud thunderstorm yesterday. Scared the bejesus out of Chloe! There was a lightening strike right out the window she was looking out.
I didn't move furniture around. BUT I had some bad back pain this morning! I haven't felt anything that bad in a while. Took a pain pill and it just about went away. It never completely leaves anymore.
Sorry about your bad rainy day yesterday. You're a real trooper. I don't know if I could it. Thats one job you have to really love to put up with the weather, bugs and the not-so-great volunteers.
Time for breakfast.....turkey bacon and eggs!
ttys!
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Old 06-19-2013, 10:32 AM   #287
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I'm glad you didn't move furniture and that the pain pill worked as good as it could for you. Thunder is crazy sometimes, isn't it? At least when you see a flash of lightning, you know the thunder will follow it. The ones that make me jump out of my skin are the ones that just go BOOM and they seem right outside your house.

My Mother was always a freak about t-storms when we were growing up. "KID'S!! Get away from the windows!" Doing anything that required water was verboten. I won't take a shower or linger over the sink doing dishes or something like that if there is a loud t-storm in progress, but if I am just home from work and it's not too bad out, I shower none-the-less. Sometimes I can't wait another second to get in there. (Like yesterday.)

It's dry and sunny today and will be in the mid to low 70's with a breeze. All is forgiven, Mother Nature (not exactly, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her.) Will wear my plastic muck boots again because of the muddy spots. Still haven't had a decent enough day to wear my new leather boots. Looking for one dry, non-muddy day to take those on their maiden voyage.

Weight's dropping slowly, but is dropping. That is encouraging and I'm looking ahead and seeing where I'll be in a week or two. I wish I could be dropping those beads in the jar at a faster pace, but I know that this time the beads will stay in the gone jar. I may just keep those for the rest of my life and if I start to regain, I will put beads back into the "to lose" jar and that will help me to see in which direction I'm heading.

Will try to eat something earlier in the day, just to have something in my system. Which means I need to go take care of that now. Ttyl. Have a great day, ladies.

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Old 06-19-2013, 01:32 PM   #288
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I'm going to use your beads in the jar idea to see progress. I've never done that before but I think its a great motivator.
I decided I'm going swimming with my dd, her bf and Chloe tomorrow! Ohhhh boyyyy! LOL Its been about 3 yrs since I've gone swimming. That was when I went to VA Beach with my MIL and we swam in the hotel pool. It was September and the ocean was cold! Although I went wading and I was like a kid! Thats a trip I'll never in my life top. It was my first time at a beach like that. When I lived in Florida I went to a beach once, and lived by the ocean. But never got in the water. I had Tasha's 1st birthday party at the beach too.
I would love to take Chloe to the beach next summer. I guess I can save up for that after saving for this week visit with Shawn when he comes back.
I think I'm getting hot flashes! Geeze! My hair gets soaked and everything. Its not even hot in here and I have a fan on.
This weekend I'm planting more flowers. The neighbor dug up a spot for me. That was nice. I want to get some perennials so I don't have replant every year! I'm lazy! LOL
I hope your farm day went better. No rain here either til the weekend. Like a 30% chance (all 30% over my house!).
I'm going to nap with Chloe now. ttys!

Oh! forgot....I'm the same way about storms! No showers or anything to do with water! LOL
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Old 06-19-2013, 07:57 PM   #289
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I'm thinking about stealing the beads/jar idea, too! It's such a visual thing, whereas numbers on a scale seem disconnected from reality sometimes.
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Old 06-19-2013, 09:37 PM   #290
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It's so awesome how this bead and jar thing is taking a hold of us! It really is cool and I'm glad I found the idea while looking for motivational images online. Tammy, you need more beach time! I like fresh water over salt water any day of the week, but the ocean is wonderful too. Prefer to stay on the beach or actually go snorkeling or diving if it's the ocean. All that nasty salt.

Oh my Lord. Don't talk to me about sweating! It's embarrassing how much I sweat at work, even on a "mild" day. I know it's from several of my medications. They have side effects of excessive sweating and they appear to all have that effect on me. I must look like I'm about to keel over and croak!

Tired as hell but here's the post I just wrote on the horse lover's thread: Night!!

Another long day, but dry. My fifth day in a row so all I want to do it collapse. Will think long and hard if asked to come back to the farm before Sunday. I need a break, man! It was lovely today, though. Seems the Wednesday instructor has it made with her students. All pretty high-functioning.

One little peanut is just darling. I fell in love with her when I met her last summer. She cried (balled) all the way to the arena, continued as we stood there, then the instructor distracted her by giving her this pint-sized horse brush and asked her if she'd like to brush the horsey. Still balling, she marching through the gate and up to the horse (our most massive and oldest horse, Calvin.)

She was still crying a lot when she was mounted but soon the tears dried up and she was into it. I love that little munchkin. She even gave us all a hug after her lesson today. She hugged the horse, all the side walkers, the leader, and then she saw me standing a ways off. I offered myself for a hug and got down on one knee but I told her I was sweaty. I got a hug anyway.

These types of moments make all the rain and mud and bugs and chaos worthwhile. We have to remember that magical moment spring up when they're least expected.

Night, ladies. Bed time for bonzo.

I got a couple pics from yesterdays barn lesson. They suck cause the phone camera has this massive lag-time and the blur-factor is awful, but here they are:

(Frodo in the lesson and Lola on the other side of the barn, wondering when she can go home for the night.)
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Last edited by CherylB; 06-19-2013 at 09:39 PM..
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Old 06-19-2013, 09:47 PM   #291
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PS: Tammy, perennials are the bomb! In fact, as I was driving around doing errands after work tonight, I saw the most delightful yellow daylilies. I'm going to buy some and plant them in a special place because they make me happy and are the kind of flower that is so sunny and keeps blooming all summer long. Maybe I'll get me some this week. Along with a few to'mater plants and finally get one of those City Pickers boxes going.
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Old 06-20-2013, 11:06 AM   #292
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I got to plunk 3 more beads into the "gone" jar. That felt good!!! You know what else feels good? Having 3 days off! Oh, man. I just did poop patrol cause landlady is on her way to mow, filled both bird feeders with sunflower seeds, and hosed off the bird baths then filled with fresh new water for our feathered friends.

Then I got my nephew's card in the mail box just in the nick of time. He's getting his PHD on the 24th. AMAZING. He's finally going to be finished with school, for the first time in his entire life. I'm not even sure how old he is. Late 20's I think. Maybe more mid-to-late 20's. He's out in Indianapolis. And he can finally live with his wife!! They've been living in separate cities since before they got married. Living together is going to be weird and wonderful; I hope.

She's a Dr too. An ER Resident. And his sister, my niece, is a lawyer. Holy smokes. They've both far-surpassed anything anyone in our family tree (both sides) have ever accomplished. They have so much to be proud of. Now I just hope they love what they do.

It's so lovely outside today. Got the windows open and I'm just kicking back for a while, but then I'm going to do some housework. I have so much to do around here. I've put it off too long. No more! Will have a squeaky clean house by the time I go back to work on Sunday.

Have a lovely day in your part of the world.
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Old 06-20-2013, 11:31 AM   #293
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3 pounds!! Go you, go you! ENJOY those days off, and the birds, and the (I hope) sunshine!
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Old 06-20-2013, 11:42 AM   #294
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Yep! Sunshine too.
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Old 06-20-2013, 03:12 PM   #295
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Whew! I'm tired! We got back from the pool about an hr ago. Hubby had dinner ready. I was hungry! Chloe fell asleep on the way home and shes still sleeping. She was so tired she had a hard time walking back to the car. LOL I'll put a couple pics in my gallery to look at.
I got lots of sun today. It was alot of fun. I hadn't been to that pool in years and its so much better now. I'll prob take chloe again when my dd is working. Its gonna be almost 90 the beginning of next week so we'll go then.
I love the horse pics! I prefer the brown horses over the white. Especially when they have nice markings.
I'm off to take a nap! I need one bad! LOL
ttys!
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Old 06-20-2013, 04:01 PM   #296
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That does sound like a tiresome day, but also fun. Glad you and Chloe had a good time. How nice it must be to come home to a dinner! Haven't experienced that in 15 years. (From a man, anyway. My sister on a holiday get-together doesn't count.)

I saw that forecast for next week. UGH! All of my work days. 90's and humid and raining. I can't take much more of this crap. But I don't see that I have much choice in the matter. I can't think about that now. Today is lovely and today is where I live. Tomorrow may never even come.

Landlady came to mow and had mower issues. I was out helping her and she came inside to use my laptop to try and figure out what was wrong and how to fix it. Eventually she removed the whole mower deck and took it with her when she left. She was heading to the hardware store where they are on a first-name basis. I told her, "THIS is why I rent!" She didn't think it was very funny. I hate when my life turns to dung. That's how she was feeling about the whole thing.

I am struggling with a strange desire to binge. I have been thinking it over and I think it is because the landlady was in my house and it's not pristine. I struggle with something that can best be described as a kind of reverse agoraphobia. I feel very uptight and even somewhat violated to have people come into my home. It is not as bad if I know ahead of time that someone is coming over and I can prepare myself, but the unease is still there the whole time I have company. (I have social anxiety in general but so much worse when it's my home.)

She knocked on the door as soon as she got here and asked if she could use my bathroom. That was the first time she'd done that. In the past, she'd only ask to use the bathroom if I had been outside talking with her. If I laid low and stayed inside, she'd never knock. But she did and what could I tell her? No? So I smirked and said, "Yes but the house is a mess." I have ONE bathroom and I live alone. Imagine having your one bathroom and suddenly someone knocks on your door with a full bladder.

Not only that but after she left, I took off my clothes which were wet and grass-stained and got back into my comfy PJ's. She called right after and asked if I would go outside to the riding mower and read her the serial number and model number. I told her I was going outside in my pj's and hoped nobody saw me. I got back inside and just about 5 minutes later, my upstairs female neighbor got home. I came that close to being seen in broad daylight in the back yard with no bra on. At my age and at my weight, I need bras.

Anyway, so after all that, I was filled with the desire to call and order a pizza for delivery. I talked myself out of that but I did make a baked potato using the microwave and that helped calm me down and reign in the demon.

Emotions! OMG, they can really run you amok.
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Old 06-20-2013, 05:00 PM   #297
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I am very much like you about my home. I hate being dropped in on. I like to entertain, but I want it very controlled and very much on my terms. And my personal bathroom, the one in the master bedroom, looks like a tornado blew through all the time. I love makeup and beauty products, and they are all over EVERY surface--brushes, hairspray, hairdryer, makeup, lotion bottles, nail polish bottles, jewelry worn and dropped on the countertops, bras, sweaters and jackets draped all over everything, etc., etc. I close the door to my room when I have company and explain that my cats are in there, so nobody will go in search of a bathroom and wind up in that one!

Very nice work on identifying your feelings and what caused them and catching that impulse before it led to a full-scale freak-out.
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Old 06-20-2013, 05:26 PM   #298
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Thank you, Jess. It helps to feel heard.
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Old 06-20-2013, 08:00 PM   #299
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Good job Cheryl! Don't want you to have to take a bead out of the jar!
I have a new album started for Chloe at the pool. It has a few pics in it so if you want to look, be my guest! LOL
DH and I are having a date night tomorrow night! A movie and dinner!!! I can't wait.
I'm off to dream land now. Good night.
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Old 06-20-2013, 08:28 PM   #300
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Great pics, Tammy. Love the one of her in the tunnel and the one with Tasha. She's a lovely lady.

Yes, I'm glad I didn't cave and order a pizza. Those are the habits that take hold of me and just won't let me go. I haven't ordered delivery food for over a month now so that spell has been broken.

So far, my plan to chew gum at bedtime just isn't catching on. I guess that spell was broken, too! I used to be a gum-chewing maniac in the past during hcg rounds. Maybe I'll regain the taste for it over time. I need to work on it because with my night eating madness, I need something to do with my mouth that doesn't cost me a lot of calories.

Wow! It's 11:30 already. Seems like it's been a long, full day. I hope tomorrow is less "emotional" for me. I too don't want my beads going in the wrong direction. Night, ladies.
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