Low Carb Friends

Low Carb Friends (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/)
-   Weight Loss Journals (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/weight-loss-journals/)
-   -   DONE Fooling Around (http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/weight-loss-journals/794677-done-fooling-around.html)

Patkid 01-17-2013 08:54 AM

DONE Fooling Around
I am so blessed by God's Grace to have been able to recommit to LC yesterday.
I feel so surely that this is IT.
I started this journal to remind myself of all the whys and to help with all the hows.
I weighed yesterday morning at 199.
Since my husband's death on New Year's Day in 2006 and the loss of my job to the recession I have binged for comfort. I have indulged my addictive personality.
From 1981 (when I lost on LC from 240 to 156) I stayed at my 'fighting weight' with LC and fasting many days. Until the last 5 years, that is.
I am amazed at the fact that I let this happen! I am usually very determined and very good at follow through.
One of the things I am DONE with is trying to figure out the past. It just is. It just is.
I smoked till 1996. I quit...........like I said: I am usually very determined and good at follow through.
Since Brian's death I have picked up smokes along with binge eating.
I credited LC with the attending reduction in all cravings for my quit in 1996. I have no reason to think that won't happen again in 2013.
I will remind myself that smoking or not smoking is simply a decision.
I feel that way about LC, too. It is a decision.
I wasted the last year trying to find a way to lose weight and still have my carbs. I just regained most of the weight I relost in 2011.
Done with the blame and shame.
Done with the carbs.
Done with self pity.
Done with being mean to myself. I am so kindly and tolerant of others ..... I deserve that same treatment.
Yesterday was wonderful. A perfect Atkin's Induction Day!
B: eggs, bacon and a bit of shredded cheddar
L: Tilapia and broc
D: not hungry till about 7 so I ate a couple scrambled eggs instead of the ribeye I have thawed.

Today it is about 11 AM and I am still not hungry, but I am ready for when I am hungry. I stocked up on LC foods yesterday and purged my pantry and fridge. I baked some chix thighs and have chix tenders in the crockpot w/ a buffalo sauce (butter, Wing Sauce, and dry ranch dressing).
Things to work on : WATER. I need to drink more water. I hate it. I drink coffee all day, but will gradually trade off the second pot for water. Not all at once, but I will do it.
I will lean on our God for Grace. I am so thankful for my resolve and will prepare for when it wanes. This journal will help.

(Yesterday's wght: 199
Today's wght: 195.8)

MagieDen 01-17-2013 11:31 AM

Sounds like you are off to a wonderful start! :high5:

Key Tones 01-17-2013 12:00 PM

Wow, yes, great start!

Yes, the past just is. Indeed.

DesertGurl 01-17-2013 12:13 PM

You are off to a beautiful start. :)

I finally learned this past year that I needed to let go of the blaming, the what if's, and all the woulda, coulda, shoulda... there is no more looking backwards, only forwards. It has helped my mindset and my attitude tremendously! I think you will find a huge burden lifted that allows you to only achieve great things. :high5:

Good luck on your journey, I think you will find much success!

scalestepper 01-17-2013 02:10 PM

Omgoodness Pat, your post is so inspiring, all your mantras are moving and so doable. How can one go wrong with being so positive and on point. I look forward to sharing our days and food thoughts, and a positive journey forward. Let's go do it! :clap:

ChristineCQ 01-17-2013 02:13 PM


Patkid 01-17-2013 05:35 PM

Wow, you guys,
I am so delighted to 'see' you here. What great encouragement and support.
Thank you so very much.
I look forward to sharing our common path!

Patkid 01-17-2013 05:44 PM

not sure if it is a good idea to keep posting on the daily menu thread. I seem to not eat to the plan. I will think on it.
Today I ended up eating:
11:30 A 2 roasted chix thighs
3:00 P 2 buffalo style chix tenders (not breaded, of course) w/ 2 T sour cream (they were HOT, but delicious)
6:30 P 2 all beef hot dogs w/ about 1.5 oz cheese

I still have the ribeye in the fridge and will eat it tomorrow as I can not afford to waste a beautiful steak. I just was not all that hungry the last couple of days and steak seemed like such an indulgence. I am blessed with several KC Steaks as my eldest son orders them and shares so kindly with me quite often. I just sometimes feel a bit guilty. I had the hot dogs in the fridge and did not want to pitch them. I have 4 or 5 left but will not be replacing them. I want to avoid processed foods as much as possible.
So, tonight I am so grateful for friends on this forum and for another on plan day.
I am so excited to see this through.
Oh, and I did a wee bit better with water.........not good but better and there is still time before bed.

MagieDen 01-18-2013 04:35 AM

Onward we go indeed Pat! One day at a time is enough for anyone, at least for me. :) As far as water I too am working on getting what I need, when I drink too much it seems I am in the bathroom more than I would like.

Here's to a new day!


zipp2play 01-18-2013 05:50 AM

Pat you can do this !!! Even if your plans end up changing , posting a menu might help you. I always enjoy reading peoples plans for eating, helps me think of stuff to eat for myself!

Patkid 01-18-2013 05:56 AM

Today's wght: 194.6

I am going to drink some water each time I pour a fresh cuppa.

Fridge is still full of LC items all ready to go for when I get hungry.
A nice salad w/ some of the buffalo tenders shredded on top is sounding good. I have some crimini mushrooms, too.......maybe saute them and grill the ribeye. Even if I don't eat all the steak it must be cooked today.
So far my only 'complaint' about eating on plan is the need to get up in the night and visit the bathroom...........small price to pay.

singingshari 01-18-2013 07:31 AM

Way to go, Pat!! When I re-read your posts, I see such a common theme for so many of us...guilt, regret, pain from the past. I told my coworker yesterday that if I let go of all the baggage from my past, I'd lose a ton of weight!!

Everybody have a wonderful day, a beautiful fresh start.


Saxy1971 01-18-2013 08:20 AM

Pat, your menus look delicious, and satisfying! I think you're starting off clean and the determination shows in your posts! Looking forward to seeing your progress! :)

Oh, and the two pups on the treadmill is adorable! I wish I could get mine (a high-spirited Jack Russell) on the treadmill to trot out some of her extra energy! :)

Patkid 01-19-2013 05:53 AM

wght today: 194.4

I did better with water yesterday and will continue to concentrate on that today.
I ended up eating:
Brunch: 2 Chix thighs/broc
then I got a bit out of control for about 4 hours. (Maybe it was giving up my second pot of coffee?) I ended up eating 4 hot dogs each with some American cheese (Only one left and I WILL NOT buy more) during the afternoon.
Then was not hungry till later.
D: cooked the ribeye and ate 1/2 of it w/ some sauteed mushrooms.
I had more water than usual and 1 diet coke.
I am considering making the same meal everyday for my 'break fast' meal.
I think I am more satisfied and feel less hungry if I start with Bacon/eggs.
I will try that for a few days.
Also, even though it cuts down on prep and clean up, I think I will try not to cook way ahead. I seem to get really tired of eating 'leftovers'. I like food hot and freshly prepared. I made that pan of Roasted Chix Thighs and they were delicious the first meal. After that I am eating them more out of duty and a desire to not waste. It isn't that they are not good, they are, I am just tired of them and wishing they tasted like they did right out of the oven.
I am very practical and very conscious of waste. I need to let that go right now and realize I am worth the extra time, clean up, and electricity/gas to eat fresh and varied foods.
I can always scramble an egg or grab a bit of good cheese or 1/2 avocado or some water if I feel snacky. I also bought some decaf instant coffee and some HWC. That will make a good snack, too. I may have to shop more often but this weight loss and LC WOE are my priorities right now. I am worth it.

Patkid 01-19-2013 06:00 AM

Amen, Shari, Amen.
I make myself say something nice to myself everytime I start to beat myself up or feel a desire to binge.
Thanks for stopping by.
These posts by forum friends really make my day.

Patkid 01-20-2013 07:08 AM

wght: 194
HMMMM usually I lose really quickly for the first 2 weeks.........I am NOT going to succumb to this stinking thinking. even if I lose 1 lb a week it is good and a normal weight will happen. I would say that I will only weigh 1X per week, but I'd be kidding myself. I will remember: I like my LC food, even if I lose .5 pd per week it is progress. When I finish a LC meal I don't have to spend any time beating myself up. It will all be okay. All will be well, my only job is to stick to my WOE, the rest will take care of itself. I no longer have to search around for another plan for quicker results, or ways to eat my beloved carbs. Ice Cream has done me NO favors. The comfort I feel when I eat carby is so short lived.
I better read this post daily.
Whew, feeling better now.

avid 01-20-2013 01:43 PM

Great start.
Really glad that you published your age. It's important that we sixy somethings keep abreast of aging info by communicating with each other.
Any photo's coming?

Patkid 01-20-2013 03:24 PM

Hi, Avid.
I haven't decided on posting pics yet........... Thanks for stopping by!

Patkid 01-20-2013 03:34 PM

so here's the deal. I learned 2 things about myself today:
1) I was disappointed in my weight this morning. That made it really hard to stay on plan.........
I have decided to try to wait till next Sunday to weigh in. I would eventually like to get to 2 weeks. That way I think LC will feel more like a way of life vs a diet.
2) I can NOT have any taste of anything sweet. It is just too soon. I added some DaVinci's syrup to coffee this morning and that set up terrible cravings. I really had to fight to not go get ice cream. I ended up eating some strawberries and some HWC to get my head to shut up.
I ate too many berries and too much HWC but it still feels like a victory, somehow. Crystal Light produces this effect, too. I learned that last time around. The only taste of sweet that does not set up cravings is diet Coke for some reason. I only have about 2 or 3 of those a week as I am not a big soda fan.
I AM NOT QUITTING. I have never had a 'fail' so early on in LCing so have to do some mental gymnastics, but I AM NOT QUITTING.

MagieDen 01-21-2013 04:46 AM

Great insight about yourself Pat. I too have certain foods that set off cravings and work to keep them out of my WOE(not always successful at times :o). Sounds like you have a good plan so hang in there.


Patkid 01-21-2013 06:03 AM

Managed to stay off the scale this morning.
1st victory of the day.
I want a perfect week and I am the only one who can give that to me.

zipp2play 01-21-2013 06:04 AM

Pat I stay away from the scale too. I am more than a number and so are you! I typically weigh in about once or twice a month! You can do this girl!

Patkid 01-22-2013 06:48 AM

Another morning of staying off the scale.
Yesterday I reverted to old habits.
I ate my LC Breakfast and Lunch...perfectly on plan then I wanted to eat.
Just that ~ I wanted to eat.
I wanted to binge
I managed fairly well. I made and ate some chix salad w/ mayo, a bit of sour cream and sugar free relish and dried onion. I ate it all.
I made and ate 8 slices of bacon.
I skipped dinner (natch).
I just want the urge to binge to go away.
Good thread re: binging on the lobby forum.
I will read and reread all day.

Patkid 01-22-2013 07:45 AM

In the interest of total honesty: I broke down and weighed at 9 AM.
My reaction?
I joined a binge free challenge on LCF.
I am NOT giving up.

Saxy1971 01-22-2013 09:11 AM

Hi Pat! You're doing great! And I wish I could stay off the scale for longer than a few days....Maybe then I would stay motivated more than a week at a time! Keep up the good attitude and you will go far! :)

Izzysdream 01-22-2013 06:25 PM

Done with the blame and shame.
Done with the carbs.
Done with self pity.
Done with being mean to myself"

I love this Pat!!! You are an inspiration! I started taking 75 mg of wellbutrin in the morning then a few days later 75 mg in the afternoon the last week in July then quit smoking on August 4th. I too ate/drank to cope with a very dysfunctional relationship until June of last year. At one point I was doing 3 times a day with the wellbutrin, but it's mostly one/two a day now. I found it helped with all my impulses. I never think of smoking anymore. I used to be a pretty good drinker too, now don't think about alcohol at all. I think it's helped me lose the the last 15-20ish pounds (I kept yoyoing with in maintenance) but I've combined that with afformation work too. I still emotionally eat but definitely not as frequently or intense as before and I don't use sugar/flour/junk. Being a life long binge eater, being 100 pounds below my highest (240) is doing pretty good. Just wish this kind of support/science existed 30 years ago when I was 25 instead of 55. I'm soooo excited about young women doing it now, they have so much time of them to be healthy, active and confident!

Most people that I talked to that tried wellbutrin, started on a way high dose and had to go off of it....

Patkid 01-23-2013 06:48 AM

Another day! I started on Tuesday of last week. Honestly I am so surprised that this week went so quickly.
I had a great day yesterday. I stayed busy all day and that really helped. It is beyond cold here so I worked on organizing my music and then purchased iMatch to save all my work and ensure that my music would never get lost.
I am weighing again.
192.6 today.
When my weight goes up (at least for me right now) it is purely because I ate too much the day before. Period.
I think that is what throws me for a loop vs. the actual number.
It is hard to accept that I must eat less of even LC food to lose weight.
Planning another perfect day today and feel very determined.
I credit this forum and all the wonderful folks who encourage and inspire me for this feeling of determination.

ChristineCQ 01-23-2013 01:10 PM

I hear you. I've moved into full-on calorie counting, which I never bothered with before. I just weighed for the first time in ages, too. I need it to keep me honest, I guess. :(

Hang in there!

zipp2play 01-23-2013 01:59 PM

Pat I personally think the Eat as much as you want as long as Carbs are below 20 doesn't work for many people. Those low carb, high fat calories add up quickly!

You will see things change, I just know it

Patkid 01-23-2013 03:34 PM

Thanks, you guys!
Honestly, my 65 year old body just does not need all those calories I could burn before.
for me, I can not eat all I care to on LC period.
I am determined to figure this out.
If I have to be hungry a bit then so be it.
I feel crappy after a binge so I can feel a bit crappy with hunger, right?

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:07 PM.