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Old 03-25-2013, 04:55 AM   #121
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Hi Buttah!!! Yes, I am still here. Just had an incredibly busy weekend with three church services to do and as usual had both of my grandbabies since Thursday. Their ages are 3 and 5 months. So very busy.

BUT also a very successful weekend. I am in middle of TOM and saw amazing weightloss in spite of!!! Yay!!! I am having hunger but not uncontrollable hunger and cravings are non-existent.

Starting Weight - 242.6
VLCD 1.....242.6..(Start).....
VLCD 2.....237.....(-5.6).....Total Loss (-5.6)
VLCD 3.....239.6..(+2.6)....Total Loss (-3.0)
VLCD 4.....236.6..(-3.0).....Total Loss (-6.0)
VLCD 5.....235.4..(-1.2).....Total Loss (-7.2)
VLCD 6.....237.6..(+2.2)....Midnight Mess-up!
VLCD 7.....237.6..(STS)......Midnight Mess-up! - suspecting Xanax & Progesterone Cream.
VLCD 8.....235.4..(-2.2).....Night One of NO Xanax!!! What a night of NO SLEEP!!!
VLCD 9.....233.8..(-1.6).....Night Two of NO Xanax!!! What a night of NO SLEEP!!!
VLCD 10...XXXX...(X.X)......Yesterday was a day of W/D beyond my belief....Off protocol
VLCD 11...242.2...(+8.4)....Another bad day!!! Not taking any HCG today and looking to see how I feel around 4pm per "grammy". If I am ok, then my dose is still too high!!!
VLCD 12...239.6..... (-2.6) Changed dosage to 150. Yest was a MUCH better day. Still had crav. from OP eating
VLCD 13...239.8..... (+.2) Still some cravings, but less and hunger is bearable.
VLCD 14...235.4..... (-4.4)
VLCD 15...237.8 (+2.4) Ate saurkraut yesterday, tom is about here.... sure it is water retention... not worried!
VLCD 16... 3/19 ...234.8 - Yesterday was EXCELLENT!!!
VLCD 17... 3/20 ...232.6 - (-2.2) WOOHOO!!! Today is third day of eating ABSOLUTELY CLEAN!
VLCD 18... 3/21 ...232.4 - (-.2) Retaining fluid, Tom due today, late meal last night.
VLCD 19... 3/22 ...234.6 - (+2.2)
VLCD 20... 3/23 ...231.4 - (-3.2) YAY!!! Protein and water did this!
VLCD 21... 3/24 ...228.0 - (-3.4)
VLCD 22... 3/25 ...228.6 - (+0.2) Can't explain this other than too much sodium on my spinach chips. ???

Week One Totals - (-5 lbs)
Week Two Totals - (-0 lbs)
Week Three Totals - (-9.8 lbs)

TOTAL LOSS - (-14.8)
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Feel the pain of discipline now or the pain of regret later.

Living By Design - Shelle's Journal for HCG Journey

Week One 252.5 - 241.8 (-6.9)
Week Two 241.8 - 239 (-2.8)

Total (-9.7) Not great but other obstacles not beating me!!!
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:16 AM   #122
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OK and furthermore....

Here is where I am at for the record.

I am def in the roll of things as far as eating. Improvements that can be made however are in trying to make sure I eat all my foods. I have not been doing that. Mainly it is the veggie that ends up skipped. However yesterday I roasted garlic and asparagus and then made some spinach chips which were delish... just salted them too much. I also added some extra protein due to the hunger and might have other done that a bit. But the shrimp I ate was salty. So add that too the issue.

Today is day 4 of tom. This is the day that he pretends he is gone and then wham, back again for another 2 days. Urghh! Tricked me a number of times, that dirty rat. haha! This is a new thing the past year (44 yrs old)

Anyhow, today I want to measure my foods carefully. mainly if i eat any extra protein. Also, I want to try to feel the hunger more. I am spreading my foods out to deal with the hunger but I think I just want to feel the hunger. That means my body is burning and I want to learn to be comfortable with a little of it. In the meanwhile I will watch the clock to eat my meals on time. That should help.

Some good news.... my body is already changing with just 14 pounds gone. I swear the whole 14 pounds must have come off of my midsection and bottom. That top hump of my butt is all but gone. hahaha! I know! I don't know what else to call it. It is normally very hard to get rid of but not now. And my stomach is significantly smaller. I don't think I have ever seen the shape that it is right now.

I can't wait to see even more progress! So I can't wait until tomorrow morning.
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Old 03-25-2013, 06:13 AM   #123
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You're doing awesome! The inches lost from the tummy is great, inches on this plan is da' bomb. Keep up the great work!
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Old 03-25-2013, 06:53 AM   #124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MagieDen View Post
You're doing awesome! The inches lost from the tummy is great, inches on this plan is da' bomb. Keep up the great work!
Thank you Magie! Glad you stopped by.
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Old 03-26-2013, 08:40 AM   #125
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VLCD 23

Today is day two of the scale moving the wrong way. I honestly believe it is from no BM. Sorry tmi! I am doing VERY WELL on the protocol. I am actually enjoying being hungry. Yesterday I worked around the house the whole day very empty. My main meals were 12:30 and 7:30pm. I stayed busy in between. My concern is with my dinner. I ate chicken breast with homemade tomato sauce and salsa on side. I then had my regular strawberry smoothie. The issue is that it was late 8pm or so and when I got to the smoothie I truly wasnt hungry. So I ate it out of knowing that this was it for the night.

Then I got very hungry in middle of night and had my ounce of shrimp for protein and 2 more berries. Would that deplete any loss of the day and actually add a increase???? I cant believe it would!

But I am going nowhere! It is me and hcg and I am going to get this if it kills me! LOL!
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Old 03-26-2013, 09:04 AM   #126
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Starting Weight - 242.6
VLCD 22... 3/25 ...228.6 - (+0.2) Can't explain this other than too much sodium on my spinach chips. ???
VLCD 23... 3/26 ...229.4 - (+0.8) OMGsh!!! What is up??? I was hungry ALL day!!!


Week One Totals - (-5 lbs)
Week Two Totals - (-0 lbs)
Week Three Totals - (-9.8 lbs)
Week Four Totals - ( + 1.0) thus far.

TOTAL LOSS - (-14.8)
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Old 03-28-2013, 12:37 PM   #127
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All right lady! Two days and no updates??? What's UP?
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Old 03-29-2013, 07:47 AM   #128
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Hi Shelby!!!

I am a Chaplain/Pastor/Prison Minister and this week is the HUGE week for what I do. Palm Sunday (3 services), Good Friday (3 Services), Easter Cantata (2X's), and Easter Morning (2 services). I am beside myself with deadlines and events but still on the right path... see entry below. Thanks for stopping by!!! Love having visits! lol!


OK, like above written CRAZY week!!!! And yes, I am feeling it with PURE exhaustion and OVERLOAD!!! The good news? I am holding steady with eating choices and weigh-ins.
This morning I was down 1.4 pounds from yesterday. I need up update my stats to know exactly how much, but I am happy with my results. I dodged a HUGE birthday cake that was loaded with ALL of my favorites! Dip, chips, cake, ice cream.... NOT ONE BITE!!! I held onto my cup of coffee like it was my lifeline... actually I think it was!

Yesterday was many events with snacks... not one bite!

Tonight, HUGE pot-luck meal.... I am planning my meal before I go and taking a piece of fruit to eat while there. And of course, lots of coffee!!!

Now for Easter, I havent decided yet. I KNOW I am not pigging out... but I am not declaring anything else just yet.

Gotta run but will be back!
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Old 03-29-2013, 09:33 AM   #129
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Start Date: May 26, 2013
VLCD 22... 3/25 ...228.6 - (+0.2)
VLCD 23... 3/26 ...226.4 (-2.2)
VLCD 24... 3/27 ...227.6 (+1.2)
VLCD 25... 3/28 ...226.6 (-1.0)
VLCD 26... 3/29 ...226.0 (-0.6)


Week One Totals - (-5 lbs)
Week Two Totals - (-0 lbs)
Week Three Totals - (-9.8 lbs)
Week Four Totals - ( -2.6 lbs thus far)

TOTAL LOSS - (-16.4)

Last edited by Shelle135; 03-29-2013 at 09:34 AM..
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:57 AM   #130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelle135 View Post
VLCD 22... 3/25 ...228.6 - (+0.2)
VLCD 23... 3/26 ...226.4 (-2.2)
VLCD 24... 3/27 ...227.6 (+1.2)
VLCD 25... 3/28 ...226.6 (-1.0)
VLCD 26... 3/29 ...226.0 (-0.6)


Week One Totals - (-5 lbs)
Week Two Totals - (-0 lbs)
Week Three Totals - (-9.8 lbs)
Week Four Totals - ( -2.6 lbs thus far)

TOTAL LOSS - (-16.4)
That is a great loss so far! Love the week 3 total!! I bet that felt great!!!
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Old 04-01-2013, 10:25 AM   #131
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Well, another "dear John" letter to myself. But this is my journal and a safe place to be real.

I did great ALL week! I dodged a birthday party with all of my favorite foods. I held onto my coffee. Got through an Easter Cantata without a food crisis. And then come Good Friday. I tried to make good choices during the meal. First mistake! After service HUGE explosion at home with me and hubby. Binged at midnight.

Saturday morning I finished off one of the items that I binged on and went rest of the day with no food until 8:30 bedtime and had shrimp for protein. Sunday came and I crashed and burned big time and all day. Obviously I have a toxic relationship with food. I envy everyone that has gone on hcg diet and remained true. I can't even imagine accomplishing that which could be my first problem.

After some reflection last week, I realized that I have not ever committed to a weightloss program and remained true. In fact I have never committed. I would take what made sense to me and would apply that to improve my eating habits but never completely commit to a solid plan. So this is my first.

But I did completely commit to this, I thought. I believe in it. I KNOW it works. It just seems like there is a part of me that can't fathom succeeding and when the pressure comes I cave to it. and to be fair, the stress levels that I have been dealing with have had my physical body in tremors from the adrenaline and nerves running through me like a locomotive. I have felt like my heart was coming through my chest, not for mins or hours but for days.

Just this week, me and my husband have made VERY BIG decisions concerning closing our church doors and re-creating our minstry outreach to be something that is less taxing on our personal lives AND give us an opportunity to be around other folks that are like-minded with us and healthy. We are surrounded by MANY dystfunctional people on every side. It is too much.

Also, we have made other changes. This past 14 months have been horrible. The bad news is that is has truly effected my first round of protocol. I only write these things to remind myself of the level of tension, stress and adrenal exhaustion I have been walking under while looking at my progress.

I have 20 days left on protocol. Discouraged and disgusted doesnt' touch how I am feeling about my progress and myself. But I want to make the most of this 20 days. I just am not sure how.

Before Sunday, I had lost 16 pounds and a dress size. I am in detox again from bad foods. I think its time to enter the prayer closet.
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:26 PM   #132
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It is the evening after. One super bad craving today and that was it. I am surprised by that but the night is still ahead. I am really working on getting it into my thick head that this is horrible for my body for me to look at it like any other diet that has lean-way. And why would I want to knowing that by doing it by the book, the weight will melt off!

I am going to stop the self-talk at this point. Truly that is not the issue. I KNOW! I UNDERSTAND the issues and I AM ANGRY with myself. And I am OK to be ANGRY!!! I should be!!! Enough is enough. No matter what is taking place food can NOT be the crutch!!! In fact I want to remove the crutch and idea of it altogether and to do that it must be destroyed. Yes, my desire and comfort that is found in food must come to an end and be done away with! Once it is gone it will be just like cigarettes for me. I will NO LONGER desire them NMW is happening! I want that with food! I want to NEVER look at food as an escape, comfort, medication, etc ever again.

So all in all, this lies within me! Am I sick and tired of being sick and tired??? Have I had enough? Will I continue to go around this mountain for the next five years and be five yrs older (not at a good age either)? It truly lies within me. "I" am the one that makes the decision of when, where and how much I eat. "I" am the one that stays in bed when the cravings come or go to the kitchen to eat. "I" am the one that says "just one bite wont hurt me" KNOWING that the one bite could EASILY turn into a binge!!! "I" do that to "ME"!!! Are you done, yet, Michelle??? (Note.... I am not crazy! But my journaling is very real to me for self-reflection.)

"Apart from Me you can do nothing." and "With God all things are possible!" and "Ask anything in My Name and it shall be done." And finally, "You have not because you ask not!" Time to pray about this! Really pray!
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:21 AM   #133
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I am thankful to say that I made it through the night with discipline. Thank you, Lord!

I ate nothing but a lean burger around 8:30 and then went to bed around 9:30. I am down to 1/2 of a mg of Xanax as I taper off. The good news and I mean really good news is that .5 mg of Xanax was enough for me to go to sleep. A couple months ago that would have never happened. So my body is obviously producing the GABA needed to assist in my sleep. I am glad I chose to taper off.

I also noticed, as I was laying there, that the cotten-mouth feeling showed up and quickly after that the munchies. Wow! Never noticed it to that extreme before. I felt like I had control until a strong thought came that there was no use in sticking to protocol now. I have already blew it. Anything at this point is a waste of time and effort. Might as well move on into phase 3 and oh, before you do, go to kitchen and munch out on some cheese and crackers! This thought was SOO strong I couldn't believe that I was laying there feeling this! So I said a small prayer for God to help me and then I decided that anything that I can come away from with this round would be an improvement. And no, it was not successful, AS successful as it could have and should have been. But I still have 20 days and I can still do some good in that 20 days.

And after that I went to sleep. I woke up one other time around 12:30 with another craving to eat and stood up, then got back in bed, choosing not to. I am thankful that I awoke this morning cheat-free! I know that sounds pathetic at this point but it is very confusing to me and all I can do it plow forward.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:59 AM   #134
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Day one of 23. I am going to push for 23 perfect days of protocol. Health issues, eating habits, preferences etc are being set to the back as I accomplish this small feat FOR ME!!! Thank you, Lord for the strength to keep going.
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Old 04-03-2013, 08:46 AM   #135
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If I could erase this entire journal I would. But it would serve no purpose. I truly am mentally doing this as day one of my lst 23. I am doing this medically and not emotionally now. I have printed up sheets to cross of my food options as I eat them and I have broth on the back burner for the overcoming cravings that are sure to arise as I detox.
I am allowing 5 days for the total detox of my system. That will take it to Sunday I should feel like a million bucks!!!
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Old 04-03-2013, 10:32 AM   #136
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Ok, for my records....

My next dr's appt is the 15th. That is 12 days away. I need to get some serious work accomplished. I have committed this whole battle to the Lord this morning. TOO TOO much to deal with and try to cypher! I will let Him do that and I will just look to Him for the strength and grace that I need to get through TODAY and TONIGHT!!! That is all I know!

I made me up some little sheets to fill in as I use up the daily allowance of food. I am planning on it being hard between now and Sunday but on Sunday I am looking for eazy breezy! I am going to walk away from this round shocked at the struggles. But I am already down a pants size and hope to do more damage in that area in the next two weeks.
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Old 04-03-2013, 05:47 PM   #137
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Shelle

So glad to hear you are doing much better. This is not just a diet. It is a protocol and a good chance to see yourself in a new light. You discover so many things about yourself in the journey. You will be glad you have this journal to look back on and remember the struggle and feel good about making it in the end. Do well tonight and I hope to hear good things in the morning.

I had my DH's birthday tonight and didn't do so well foodwise. So tomorrow starts my VLCD #1!! Let's do this!!! I can this for 21 days with no cheats/deviations/hardships. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:37 AM   #138
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Hi Dawn! Thanks for the encouragement. I had thought that I had run everyone off by now. And I wouldn't blame them. I am the least encouraging hcg'er on this board I am sure!!!

I was down .4 but it is old weight being relost so no hooplah there!!! This has been an awful round for me and I just cant see the light at the end of the tunnel. But given up is NOT an option! Sometimes I think I should and should do ph 3 then do round 2. But I still have 16 days left. So I have SOME hope.
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:40 AM   #139
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No. You are only human. We have all been there. I just hate admitting it!! I know exactly where you are coming from. This process is hard. My first round, I was so naive and said "how can anyone NOT do this? This is soooo EASY!!!" Then round 2 came and knocked me to my knees. So I have learned to not judge anyone. Just have to hang on and do the best we can given what we are going through. You can do this!!! I can do this!!!
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Old 04-04-2013, 10:59 AM   #140
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Preparing for Ph 3

Learning the Hunger Scale
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Old 04-04-2013, 06:46 PM   #141
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Well here goes it. Tonight I took a Tylenol PM and .25 of Xanax. I am hoping that it works, I go to sleep and no cravings. But even if I do get them, eating is not an option. A friend reminded me today that the only thing that is keeping me from being successful at this protocol is the lNS'ing. Everything else I am doing right!!! How ironic that something that simple is that controlling.

I have 16 days left. I need to finish strong if nothing else!
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Old 04-04-2013, 06:49 PM   #142
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Not sure what INS'ing is? What is that?
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Old 04-04-2013, 07:09 PM   #143
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Old 04-07-2013, 12:21 PM   #144
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Old 04-08-2013, 03:46 PM   #145
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Shelle where are you? We're getting worried about you!
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Old 04-09-2013, 08:10 AM   #146
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Hi all! I am still here. I had to pull back for a few days and do some studying on this, battle the issues that keep presenting themselves and find some sense of success. I have done that. I believe I am understanding the protocol and the emotional eating issues much better.

For me this has not been about "dieting". In fact, if it were, I would have been a huge success. What I have found is that my food issues are almost ALL emotional and that is hard to take especially when this plan deals solely on limiting food and hormonal balance. I was absolutely unprepared for the battle and "uncovering" that was about to take place when I began this protocol on March 2nd.

Having said that, I have chosen to not quit in spite of my obvious failure at this round. If I quit I have failed. I am not doing that. I will walk away from this with what losses I have and a finished round. I have to admit that I am looking forward to round 2 because I do believe I will be much more ready for it.

Another area that I failed was utilizing my dr throughout this. I asked him a few questions but to really let him know the battles that I have had, I have not. I know that this is due to first off, being very embarrassed and ashamed of the fact that I could not get through a night without eating. Thankfully, that is not my case now even though I have had that issue in my life for years! Another thing that I did not want to admit to was my obvious physical dependance on Xanax. And having fibromyalgia and CFS, I take other very potent medicines that I have NO DOUBT is effecting my progress. I actually have also seen that in removing food, I have not had MANY reactions to food that I once accused the sickenesses on . So that is HUGE!

However, as I said, I believe the meds I am taking is causing more pain, more misery then what I am probably experiencing without them. So during ph 3 I will be tackling some of those issues to get me off of medicines that are counter-productive to my success as a person and my quality of life in general.

Another thing I have REALLY GOTTEN understanding over this weekend is the fact that HCG is REALLY in me and this is NOT just a limited food diet. My head was so in the wrong place with that. Once I realized that with HCG I am walking around as if I am eating as far as my brain is concerned, I then saw the devastation that I was doing by the binges and cheats. That was an eye-opener for me.

So I can't undo whats been done but I can finish strong and take what I've learned and make the next few months great successes!

Thanks everyone for checking on me. Had I come here and it been silent I truly would have felt like my struggles scared everyone away. Thanks for caring!
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Old 04-10-2013, 06:39 AM   #147
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Today is the last of 10 days.

I am shocked at how different hunger symptoms and cravings are to me. I can take hunger at any level. Cravings are altogether a different story and truly bring with them the battle of the willpower! My weakest times is from 3pm-7pm. This is only a 4 hr timespan but the desire for carbs are unbelievable!!! Does this ever go away?

Scale the same today. Need to see it move!
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Old 04-10-2013, 10:55 AM   #148
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Shelle--sadly, it doesn't go away I fight cravings EVERY SINGLE DAY. I have to fight to get over them. You would not believe what I have gone through to get rid of them too. I have bought numerous supplements, changed eating times, stuffed my face with water, tea, coffee, whatever and they are still there It doesn't matter if I am on P2, P3 or P4. I have cravings and sometimes just give in. Oh, Ok MOST times just give in. Much easier that way. Something I need to get over, yes. But why is it so hard???!! My worst time of the day used to be around 3 PM. Right around Oprah. And not for a long time either. Just til dinnertime. Now it seems to be around 4PM til bedtime. So it has actually gotten worse. But I try my best every day to overcome. Some days are great, other days are not so great.

I am very impressed with how I handled yesterday. My son came home from school with a traffic ticket. He was not wearing a seat belt and got pulled over--in front of school. Normally I would be upset and disappointed and just shovel the chocolate in my face. But not yesterday. I just remembered that I was on P2 and couldn't do that. So I just brushed it off. Yay me
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:43 AM   #149
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Dawn thank you for your insight. I caved to cravings today. I did EVERYTHING to avoid them. I walked away and got busy for 40 mins. Tons of water, ate my entire lunch and nothing. I did not have "peace" until I got the crackers.... yes carbs!!!

I read where carbaholics could actually be nothing less than a need for seratonin due to it dropping out. Sadly at work there is no options for seratonin release.... but then again I need to figure out what would bring that. I could buy into that theory though b/c it truly is something VERY distracting and powerful to try to overcome. But once i caved, I felt at ease. I didn't pig out but did get a good dose of carbs.

Now in attempt to not destroy all of today I am going home and doing Zumba for 45 mins, not eating the rest of the night except for a protein at 8:30 and hopefull I didn't due too much damage.

But today really showed me that this is NOT just a lack of will power. Something else is involved be it low sugar (I am hypoglycemic), low seratonin, etc. I feel for you but you give me encouragement. Thank you and big hugs!
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:56 AM   #150
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to you too my friend. I will say it again.....this protocol is hard!!!
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