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Old 01-08-2013, 07:09 AM   #151
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Okay, my gym advice is this - pack the kids, go and focus on one thing. Find a treadmill and get on that for 30 minutes. While walking/jogging, look around and see if you see anything else tempting. If not, get the kiddos and leave. I find that new gyms freak me out too at first but if I do something I'm comfortable with and don't push myself to walk aimlessly around, I feel more confident on trip 2.
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:13 PM   #152
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Amber, I still didn't go!!!! Gah! I have decided that we *are* going tomorrow, right after I pick up Tucker from school. I am going to pack lunches so they can eat in the car. I am going to get the couch-5k app on my ipod and start doing that to begin with. I know it's a short program so I will have plenty of time to do something else if I want to.

I am going to sign the kids up for swimming lessons for one month (part of their Christmas gift from grandparents). Once that month is over we are going to stop our membership. I have realized that I am not going to use it, it's a 20 minute drive (one way) and I think I will actually use our small town one because they give you keycard after hours access so I can work out after the kids are in bed and I would likely be the only person there. I hate that my insecurity and social anxiety controls me like that, but it is what it is.

The main reason I wanted to join the Y in the first place was to give me a break from the kids. Well, hcg seems to have taken care of my mood problem so I don't need it for that anymore.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:54 AM   #153
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Round 2
Day 1: 206.2
Day 2: 204.4
Day 3: 202.4
Day 4: 198.8
Day 5: 198.4
Day 6: 196.8
Day 7: 196.4

The scale was all over the place this morning! No higher than what I posted but down to 195.4. I picked the highest to post bc it was the only number that registered twice.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:56 AM   #154
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Katy - don't feel badly about it. Some people aren't gym users. Swimming lessons for the kids and some exercise for you will be a good month. Then do your local gym and maybe increase outside exercise when it warms up a bit. I asked for a garmin gps watch for my birthday so I can start walking/jogging outside. The half marathon has some training guides and the training schedule does not start until June so I have a few months to lose weight and increase my fitness level. We also have a pool now that I figure I can start using in a few months for some good cardio. But I gym memberships. I like all the group classes. I'm a step class lover.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:59 AM   #155
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It's embarrassment and insecurity. I loved the gym when I was fit.
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:55 PM   #156
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Update on the Y situation: I was able to convince them to refund (or stop) the bankdraft that will happen next week if I never used the membership at all. I stopped by there today to fill out the appropriate form, so at least I didn't lose any money there. I then went by our small town wellness center and got all signed up today. First workout will be tonight after kids are in bed! Feel much better about this and am excited to workout!
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Old 01-10-2013, 04:56 PM   #157
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Round 2
Day 1: 206.2
Day 2: 204.4
Day 3: 202.4
Day 4: 198.8
Day 5: 198.4
Day 6: 196.8
Day 7: 196.4
Day 8: 195.4
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:59 AM   #158
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Good morning! How was the workout?
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:54 AM   #159
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That's great about the Y stopping that auto-draft on your account. Did you workout last night?

Your weights look great!
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:20 PM   #160
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Round 2
Day 1: 206.2
Day 2: 204.4
Day 3: 202.4
Day 4: 198.8
Day 5: 198.4
Day 6: 196.8
Day 7: 196.4
Day 8: 195.4
Day 9: 197.4

I think TOM may be lurking.....crampy and super moody and I just wolfed down some white chocolate.
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Old 01-14-2013, 08:44 PM   #161
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I was trying to do a rogue HCG round this time and it was a huge fail! I still don't know what is going on with TOM/AF, still no sign and I have no idea whether I should be expecting it or not. Anyways, I have learned my lesson. Don't go messing with something you *know* works when you do it correctly. I guess I was just experimenting to see if I could have some off plan things with success. I can't. Not that others couldn't and don't, but for me, protocol foods only from here on out. I was off plan Sat, Sun and part of today. I am picking myself up and dusting myself off. This is a journey for me and I have got to keep trying.

I spent the better part of today reflecting on myself and why I constantly self sabotage and fail to plan. I don't think I am necessarily scared of failing because I know that I will get to goal, that really isn't a question in my mind. I think it's more of an entitlement/hissy fit issue. I know that sounds immature, but I guess I get mad that I can't eat certain things...almost like I deserve it because of an external factor. Like if the kids were difficult, I want chocolate as my reward for being patient with them. I think I use food as a reward and I am definitely guilty of emotional eating. I need to go back and watch more of the WLA youtubes. Those helped me so much in the past!

I am scrapping my Round 2 and starting new tomorrow with only protocol foods. In fact, I made a huge batch of P2 chili tonight so I have enough food prepped for several days. I am also skipping the grissini/melba servings because I think they cause cravings for me.

By screwing around with this round, it means I will be on P2 for Austen's 1st bday party, but you know what? I don't need the cake. Not eating cake at his party has zero reflection on how deeply and intensely I love him. In fact, not eating cake is more of a testament at how much I *do* love him. I love him so much that I am striving to be at a healthy weight and a fit active mom. Cake is not healthy. I am not even letting him have cake, I am keeping him grain free for as long as I possibly can so I am making him an almond flour muffin with frosting.
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Old 01-14-2013, 09:43 PM   #162
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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. "
- Marianne Williamson
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Old 01-15-2013, 05:56 AM   #163
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Good job starting round 2 today and starting fresh. Sometimes we need to mess around with other things and try other things out before we can get to what works. Clearly that is me right now.

I love that Williamson quote. You are a beautiful, strong, talented, wonderful woman. You will reach your goals. You will do great on R2. You do not need cake. Also, maybe consider just making that one muffin for Austin or a pan of muffins for him and the kiddos and not getting a traditional cake for any of the party goers. It will help you not be tempted.
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:28 AM   #164
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I'm the queen of self sabotage!!! Just pick yourself up and keep going. Sounds like you have a great plan in place. You can do this Katy!!!
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:36 AM   #165
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Thanks, girls. I really appreciate your support. I know it can be daunting to keep supporting someone who is spinning her wheels, but your feedback and comments are really appreciated!

Amber, I think I will just order cupcakes for the other guests. I would hate to not have typical bday party foods when they are expected. I would be pissed (LOL) if I went to a party expecting the usual cake and ice cream and they served almond flour/diet crap. I remember I went to a baby shower years ago and the hostess served all low cal/Splenda made crap and it was terrible! It all tasted like chemicals and nevermind the fact that Splenda is not recommended in pregnancy, LOL! However, I do think I will serve healthy finger foods (relish tray, fresh fruit, etc)
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Old 01-16-2013, 06:06 AM   #166
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It's never daunting to support a friend.

How's it going today?
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Old 01-16-2013, 07:35 AM   #167
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well, it's going. Austen's sick cousin coughed in his face a few days ago and now he has croup. DH and the inlaws have been out of town all week so I have no help. I was up from 3am on this morning and am praying for a nap while the kids watch a movie later.
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Old 01-16-2013, 07:44 AM   #168
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Potaty View Post
well, it's going. Austen's sick cousin coughed in his face a few days ago and now he has croup. DH and the inlaws have been out of town all week so I have no help. I was up from 3am on this morning and am praying for a nap while the kids watch a movie later.
UGH, that's what happens when kids get together. I hope you can get an hour or two nap today. If I lived closer I'd come help you! Hoping Austen feels better soon - that croup is scary!
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Old 01-16-2013, 07:50 AM   #169
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I am just so pissed. I know it's not the little boy's fault but I *am* blaming his parents. He had no business being around healthy kids. We were just finally all better, we had been passing crap around our house since Thanksgiving and were purposely being very limited about going anywhere so we didn't get sick again. This part of the family has constantly sick kids and they have no regard for exposing everyone else to their crap. Austen's birthday is one week from today and I will be so mad if he is still sick. Sorry to rant so much but I don't like this family anyways so I tend to really get my feathers ruffled when they do this.
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:14 AM   #170
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Originally Posted by Potaty View Post
I am just so pissed. I know it's not the little boy's fault but I *am* blaming his parents. He had no business being around healthy kids. We were just finally all better, we had been passing crap around our house since Thanksgiving and were purposely being very limited about going anywhere so we didn't get sick again. This part of the family has constantly sick kids and they have no regard for exposing everyone else to their crap. Austen's birthday is one week from today and I will be so mad if he is still sick. Sorry to rant so much but I don't like this family anyways so I tend to really get my feathers ruffled when they do this.
Yeah that's awful that they would bring him around knowing he was sick. I will never understand people who do that!!! Make sure you tell them about it so it doesn't happen again
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Old 01-16-2013, 08:41 AM   #171
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A sick baby and a tired mom is a terrible combo. I'd also help you today if I could. Hang in there.

DS was sick on his 1st birthday. It was his first fever and we still had the party. Granted, I didn't realize he was sick until 1/2 way through when I thought to take his temp since he was acting clingy and felt warm. I blame it on being a new mom. He refused to even touch his cupcake (or cake for the cake smash that we did before the party) and we had to strip him out of his clothes so lots of our pictures have semi-naked Dylan in them. haha. It was still a great day.
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:55 PM   #172
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Despite the odds being stacked against me, I am (so far) on plan today. I did snooze for about 15 minutes of Cinderella.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:01 PM   #173
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I had a semi-good day today. I did great until I had to make frosting for preschool tomorrow. I ate a couple spoons of it, the rest of the day was great so I hope I get back on track easily. (My son is allergic to artificial food dyes so it wasn't an option this time to buy frosting, even the white frosting has added food dyes in it.)

I went shopping sans kiddos today and bought a lot of new clothes. I am in desperate need for new ones and I stuck to just tops and one dress since I can wear those over several size drops. I was really happy because everything is cute and it was all on clearance!

I am still in limbo as whether or not I should be weighing. I did weigh this morning and was 200 again. Ugh. On one hand, for me weighing is good positive reinforcement that I am doing a plan that is working for me. For example, I could do WW and not lose a thing because that plan just does not work for me, but if I wasn't weighing, I wouldn't know. On the other hand, it's almost like I sabotage myself once I get in the 191-193 range so ignorance in that case, may be bliss. I do know hcg works really well for me *when I do it correctly.* Maybe just once a week?
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Old 01-18-2013, 08:09 PM   #174
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was 199.6 today, ate good and made it to the gym.
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Old 01-19-2013, 08:32 PM   #175
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197.6 today, ate good, did not go to the gym and I am sore from yesterday's workout. Tomorrow I have a bday party to go to but I'm sure I will survive the cake with my trusty Starbuck's in hand!
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Old 01-20-2013, 06:16 PM   #176
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197.0, ate good. I feel very, very bloated and things aren't exactly, um, moving in the deuce dept (sorry, TMI). Trying to drink extra water to help that.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:49 PM   #177
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196.6, ate okay...I had too much for dinner. DH thinks he's getting the flu, rut roh!
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Old 01-22-2013, 05:46 AM   #178
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You are getting closer and closer to new territory!! Also, remember those sore muscles mean you are likely retaining some weight in water. KUTGW!!!
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:36 AM   #179
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Way to go Katy! Hope your DH didn't get the flu Are you doing protocol or something else?
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Old 01-22-2013, 06:42 AM   #180
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Scale was up today, it was 198 but I was fully clothed and was too cold to undress. I can tell I'm up from inflammation. I think I need to cut the crackers out, pretty sure the gluten or something flares me up!
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