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Old 12-08-2012, 04:45 PM   #211
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Originally Posted by GailyGail View Post
Ummm, I want to apologize for my rant. I did not mean it to come across that way. I am not the bitter fat chick looking to blame the world for my problems -- in fact, it is quite the opposite. I think most overweight people overcompensate in other areas so we don't get judged so harshly for our weight. I feel badly that I play into that but I do -- in some cases, it is necessary for survival.

The funny thing is, I don't even think of myself as fat until I look into a mirror. Usually I try to be great at my job and nice and respectful to people in general. So if they don't like me because I'm fat? Well, then that's their hangup and their issue, not mine.
Nothing bad about it - that's legitimate, justified anger. And it isn't about you being bitter, it's about feeling raw from the way other people treat us, even after the ways in which we have to overcompensate just to try to break even.

That's my $.02 anyway.
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:40 PM   #212
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[QUOTE=Z;16125483 And it isn't about you being bitter, it's about feeling raw from the way other people treat us, even after the ways in which we have to overcompensate just to try to break even.[/QUOTE]

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Old 12-08-2012, 07:38 PM   #213
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Well, I'm off to go sing for some depressingly meager scraps of love from an audience that doesn't deserve me.

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Old 12-08-2012, 09:22 PM   #214
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I've bumped into a post or two of yours in the Low Carb Lobby and immediately found myself rather taken with your writing style. I enjoy the candor and appreciate the thorough documentation of everything that either contributes to a stall or a loss. Incredibly fascinating.

Man. Makes me wish I had started a log at the start of it all, just to have a tangible record of my experiences and thoughts. I think it's something that you'll really enjoy revisiting after you cross that finish line.

Best of luck to you; I'll definitely be keeping up with this one.
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Old 12-09-2012, 12:08 AM   #215
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As long as I'm on a roll, Isn't it weird how obesity is a moral failing, but alcoholism and drug addiction are diseases over which a person has no control? This despite the fact that countless addicts have managed to reclaim control of their lives.
True! And unlike with alcohol or drugs, we can not survive without food. People need to eat.

If you would give a drug addict just a little bit of drugs every single day, nobody will be surpised is that drugaddict will never get clean. It can be the same with food, a little bit of sugar can cause a binge. The difference is that sugar is normal and readily available. If you go to visit people they will offer you food, mostly food that is bad for low carbers. I never visited anyone that offered me a bit of cocain. And the addiction to food can be just as bad as the addiction to cocain.
But a drug addict is a sad person, and a fat person is an idiot who should know better.
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Old 12-09-2012, 05:04 AM   #216
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Shark, your voice is breathtakingly beautiful. Wow -- you are super talented! I love that song too and think your rendition is better than the original version.

Velvet, I so agree with your statement "a drug addict is a sad person but a fat person is an idiot who should know better." I hate that prejuidice.
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Old 12-09-2012, 05:48 AM   #217
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Z! You can seriously sing! So that's four things I know about you now. You're smart, you write really well, you are disciplined and you can SING! Awesome!

Next time I fly to Tuscon to see my parents (at least twice a year) I want to see you sing.

Edited to add that I'm curious about the .xls worksheets you use for tracking. I used to use the ones from the Hacker's Diet, but they no longer play nicely with my version of MS Office. Did you create your own? Would be willing to share?

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Old 12-09-2012, 02:58 PM   #218
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Z! You can seriously sing! So that's four things I know about you now. You're smart, you write really well, you are disciplined and you can SING! Awesome!
Thanks!

Remember that discussion we were just having about overcompensation?

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Next time I fly to Tuscon to see my parents (at least twice a year) I want to see you sing.
Sounds like a plan!

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Originally Posted by AnnF View Post
Edited to add that I'm curious about the .xls worksheets you use for tracking. I used to use the ones from the Hacker's Diet, but they no longer play nicely with my version of MS Office. Did you create your own? Would be willing to share?
Yeah - give me some time to enter this week's numbers and I'll attach a copy. Just understand that my math is ugly and left-handed. It works, but it's nothing elegant. This sheet was never intended for public distribution, and it's really just a scratchpad for me to play with the math. I'll do my best to comment my work so you can modify it to meet your needs.
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Old 12-09-2012, 04:30 PM   #219
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Old 12-09-2012, 05:46 PM   #220
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Yeah - give me some time to enter this week's numbers and I'll attach a copy. Just understand that my math is ugly and left-handed. It works, but it's nothing elegant. This sheet was never intended for public distribution, and it's really just a scratchpad for me to play with the math. I'll do my best to comment my work so you can modify it to meet your needs.
That's terrific, Z! Thanks!

As for the overcompensating thing... I don't buy it. You have it or you don't, and you definitely have it. I mean, look at me, I bear the heavy burden of being right all the time and I promise it isn't compensation. Shockingly, people do not thank me for this trait. Never understood why.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:06 AM   #221
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...I mean, look at me, I bear the heavy burden of being right all the time and I promise it isn't compensation. Shockingly, people do not thank me for this trait. Never understood why.


You know, if people wouldn't flaunt their wrongness all over the place, it wouldn't be necessary to expend so much effort towards being right.
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Old 12-10-2012, 12:16 AM   #222
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Darnit, now I want to hear you sing too Z. But the video is not working. :-(
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Old 12-10-2012, 01:51 AM   #223
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I've bumped into a post or two of yours in the Low Carb Lobby and immediately found myself rather taken with your writing style. I enjoy the candor and appreciate the thorough documentation of everything that either contributes to a stall or a loss. Incredibly fascinating.

Man. Makes me wish I had started a log at the start of it all, just to have a tangible record of my experiences and thoughts. I think it's something that you'll really enjoy revisiting after you cross that finish line.

Best of luck to you; I'll definitely be keeping up with this one.
Thanks for stopping by Limetwist! It's great to see people here who have made it through to the other side. Your example demonstrates that it is possible to succeed; Possible, even, to maintain; And yes, possible to set new goals and exceed your own expectations.

I started this way of life because I could no longer reconcile the person I am with the person I am supposed to be. I'm not talking about unwanted adiposity. That is merely the metric by which this task is most readily judged. It's about control. Absolute dominion over one's own life. A casting away of vices (culinary and otherwise), and a call to self-improvement at the deepest levels. And the more of these tasks we are able to accomplish, the more we come to realize that we are limited only by our own ambition and perseverance. That's not to say that I could ever be an Olympic athlete, but when you live to your potential -- learn to your potential -- you find more and more that you are 'the person that you could have been'.

Freed from the cold iron manacles of the cycle of excuses, you harness the fullness of your potential and become kinetic. Dynamic. A force of nature blowing through the endless reeds of willfully idle bystanders. A competitor, in a world of spectators.

it is possible to reconcile the person you are with the person you were supposed to be.

It really is my hope that at the end of this, I'll be looking down that 190 pound road from the other end. I want to be able to come in here and have a complete account of it. On the days that it's feeling like it's taking too long, I want to see that afterwards, and in context - and realize how very little time it's actually taking me. A month is nothing, in the grand scheme of things - but a single day can feel like eternity when you find yourself 6 pounds up.

I feel that whatever value of this chronicle might one day hold for others is dependent on its honesty. If I am to fail, then at least I will leave behind a record of my failure so that others can avoid my mistakes. If I succeed, I will leave behind an honest, realistic blueprint that helped me to accomplish my goals. Not some watered down recollection written in hindsight having already succeeded. And not some whitewashed, filtered out biographical text that makes me out to be some sort of hero, while skipping over the ugly bits. But an honest account that includes and details my shortcomings, and my failings - as well as my victories - and written from the perspective of not knowing for certain if I will ever reach my goals.

Fear, self-doubt, impatience, even the occasional bout of self-loathing... these things are an inevitable (if underrepresented) part of success. I believe that it's how we handle these potential pitfalls that will determine our success or failure. So it's important to have access to the doubts and fears of someone who is ultimately successful.

And if I'm wrong - at least it will be documented as such

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Old 12-10-2012, 04:30 AM   #224
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You know, if people wouldn't flaunt their wrongness all over the place, it wouldn't be necessary to expend so much effort towards being right.
Truer words were never spoken.

Thanks again for the spreadsheet. I'm wrapping up a project over the next two weeks for a craaaazy client and my work days are busy beyond describing, but I can't wait to open it and play around with it this evening. Like you, I'm a daily weigher, so I love seeing the results all mapped out.
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Old 12-10-2012, 11:11 AM   #225
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Fear, self-doubt, impatience, even the occasional bout of self-loathing... these things are an inevitable (if underrepresented) part of success. I believe that it's how we handle these potential pitfalls that will determine our success or failure.
This is absolutely true with weight loss. Figuring how to handle all the problems, bumps, stalls and slips along the way is crucial in being successful. I know from past experience that if you give up when you hit a problem it is even more difficult to get back into your losing "groove". I do know now that I will have many challenges ahead and I hope that I am prepared for them or that I have enough insight to know when I am in trouble so that I can recover quickly. Sharing and learning what other people have done when they have a problem keeps me in the right mind set and motivates me daily. This is why this board is so important.
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Old 12-11-2012, 05:39 PM   #226
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Wow, you really are a good singer, Z. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to that.

Maybe your next goal should be to get your audition on The Voice. I think CeeLo and Blake would both hit their buttons. Maybe Adam too.
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Old 12-12-2012, 01:13 AM   #227
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Thanks, NH.

It seems like my physiology is somehow aware of how close I am to this milestone. My weight loss has all but stopped over the last two weeks, and I'm now back over 305. Not to be impatient, but I was 303 on december 1. It seems like all of the walking I've taken on in the last few weeks should have been worth something, but I am gaining weight even when I'm doing everything right.

It's not calories -- I'm often eating only twice a day, and consistently well below my BMR. And I'm not cheating. My carbs stay below 20 on my worst days, and usually below 10.

I know that minor stalls can be a natural part of weight loss, but it's so disheartening for it to happen so early. I feel like I need to give it time to shake loose - to stay the course and not try to monkey with the system that has gotten me this far. It would be just my luck that my monkeying would put me off course.

There are still a few more belt notches I can ratchet down:

1. Eating out for lunch. I am very careful to order low carb friendly food, but one never knows what the restaurant is mixing into their ground beef, or their avocado salsa. And it does no good to ask the waiter - you might as well ask the food. I forget who said that, but it's absolutely true. I need to figure out a way to take lunch to work with me.

2. Heavy cream. 30% aint cutting it. Until I can get my 40% again, I'm getting too much milk sugar from the heavy cream sauces I'm so fond of. I can live without cream sauce for a while if it'll get me past this hump

3. Processed meats. I've been living on sausages the last few days. Little smokies, bratwurst, summer sausage... every last one of them has a carb count to contend with. I've got 2 massive pork shoulders in my freezer. this weekend I'm going to cook up about 8 pounds of pulled pork. Zero carb meat that I cooked and prepared myself - no preservatives, no sugar, no carbs.

4. I refuse to starve myself, but I also need to examine my eating to see if I'm eating to the point of being overfull. As I lose weight, it stands to reason that my body's fuel requirements are dropping as well. A simple re-evaluation might help me to cut some unneeded 'food weight', and put nicer numbers on the scale.

5. I need to cut out the several avocados a week, tomatoes, and at least half of the onions I'm eating. If I am eating too many carbs without realizing it, this is where they're probably coming from. I need to focus more heavily on spinach and broccoli, and less on sugary onions.

Don't get me wrong, I've been living "legal" - but there is room for a stricter interpretation.

I know some people get discouraged, and people worry that they might quit. I'm not going to quit. I will be patient yet proactive.

I will break 299 before January 1.

And if after all of December I cannot accomplish that - it might be time to examine a two-day carb refeed to reset the internal clock. I don't want to do that, because it was terrible to my immune and histamine systems - plus I had to do a full carb flu and an actual flu the last time (late october, I think). I can't afford to be carbo-stupid while I'm learning this product.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves, though. For right now, I'm only 3 days away from the lowest weight I've ever posted. One way or another, I'll break 300. And once I have, you'd better believe that I'm going to do everthing in my power to keep from seeing a 3 in the hundreds spot ever again. Over the next few days I'll be tightening up the day to day regimen - but the overarching strategy remains the same:

20 carb ceiling. No sugar. No starch. No excuses
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Old 12-12-2012, 02:02 AM   #228
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Could it be that you are retaining water? I know that it is a common female issue to retain water, but if the meat you were eating had some salt in it, it might be that?

I love your not giving up attitude, it will come off, just keep up the good work.
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Old 12-12-2012, 02:57 AM   #229
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Agree with Velvet about your excellent attitude and agree with NH that you should be on "The Voice" or another show that showcases superior singing talent.

Z, I think you are smart to cut back on the heavy cream, avacados, tomotoes and onions as those tend to stall me as well. And I totally agree about making your own food -- there are so many hidden sugars in restaurant food. Can you bring a salad with grilled chicken to work? Or keep a stash of sliced turkey, salami or hard boiled eggs somewhere? When you go out for lunch, is it possible to get an omelette? I find that the closer I stay to low carb purity (meaning eating plan lean protein and veggies), the faster I tend to lose the weight.

You will probably see 299 by Christmas not New Years. You are going to do this.
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Old 12-12-2012, 03:57 AM   #230
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Z, I found myself really suffering from "carb-creep" from things like tomatoes and onions. I decided after thanksgiving to go a little more clean and I've seen the weight drop. and I feel so much better, am not as hungry, and it's pretty easy. Eating out is always tough - and I love the line "you may as well ask the food." I've been a server and it is oh so true. Good luck!
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Old 12-12-2012, 04:49 AM   #231
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Processed Foods....

The sausages and ect could have/do
have to much salt. Sure retaining water.

Eat less of them ..bet you will lose.

Your doing great..staying postive.
Staying on track! Here's to 299 soon!
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Old 12-12-2012, 05:04 AM   #232
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Hey, Z. I'd bet it's the tomatoes and onions... and possibly the sausages (SALT!). Would cut out tomatoes entirely for now (they're cr*p this time of year anyway) and cut back on the onions and sausages.

Avocados actually work really well for me. It's an easy way to up my fat intake and I usually have two week. I like to have a half stuffed with chicken salad. For the heavy cream, I think you're right-- it needs to be the really heavy stuff-- and probably in smaller portions now.

Basically, I'd guess you are approaching the stage where the amazing losses slow down. That's when it's time to look at calories, as well as carbs. I don't count calories myself, but I have decreased the items that are high calorie and increased those items that are lower. Less heavy cream, for sure-- I now only use it in my morning egg cream concoction. I think of it as a little fat bomb to start the day.

Is there a salad bar near your work? That's my go-to solution when I don't bring my own lunch. I make sure all of the veggies in it are lowest carb and calorie. I usually choose alfalfa sprouts, chopped celery, and my luxury addition is mushrooms. I always ask for grilled chicken. I bring my own dressing, as who knows what's in the ones on offer?

And before you do a carb re-feed, why not try a meat fast (or egg fast or meat and egg fast)? I do that when I stall and it always kick-starts things for me really well.
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:28 AM   #233
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Z--it seems from reading your posts that your scale weight bumps up just before your weight drops--this makes sense as our fat cells fill up with water right before they release fat--patience young jedi.
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:33 AM   #234
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I don't know if this might be an issue for you or not, but eating just 1 Italian sausage link will make me gain 1 1/2 lbs. over night, unless I have at least 2 extra glasses of water (on top of the 4 I already drink).

Could just be a resting period though, while your body adjusts to the considerable loss you've had already.
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Old 12-12-2012, 09:00 AM   #235
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back to basics. today for breakfast:

5 eggs fried in butter.

Guess what dinner is going to be...
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Old 12-12-2012, 10:21 AM   #236
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Please don't say sausages!
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Old 12-12-2012, 10:51 AM   #237
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Please don't say sausages!


nah - 5 more eggs, cooked in butter.
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Old 12-12-2012, 01:52 PM   #238
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nah - 5 more eggs, cooked in butter.
So basically an egg fast. I think you'll see a drop pretty quickly!
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Old 12-12-2012, 06:13 PM   #239
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Yeah that'll work. I'm thinking that you've read up on the eating carbs to jump start a loss... But i've never seen any science that proves it works. I always think to myself, what would Dr. Atkins say about that?
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Old 12-12-2012, 08:46 PM   #240
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To be totally clear, I'm only considering a carb refeed as a jump-start if and only if I am unable to make it under 300 before January 1. It's the very last thing on my list of stuff to try. That gives me the entire month of December to shake the needle loose on my scale. Which is actually digital, but you know what I mean.

In the meantime, I'm tightening up my WOE and avoiding "legal but tricky" stuff like bratwurst and onions - and keeping an eye on broccoli as well (4 net carbs per serving). I'm cutting out restaurants, and cutting out coffee (and splenda) after lunch. I'm also walking home to cook my lunch. that's 12 minutes walking, 15 minutes cooking and cleaning, 10 minutes eating while standing, and another 13 minutes back. That leaves me 10 minutes to grab some water, and sit down - ready for work.

If all of that doesn't help, I get to test out a popular theory.
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