Shark Sandwich

[NH_Free]

Smarta$$. I was just about to start hammering out my "don't give up" speech.

Well, I'll just give you a friendly warning about eggs then: my first time around losing this weight, I ate eggs every day for 6 months, usually a couple scrambled for breakfast and 2-4 hard boiled during the day. Then I suddenly started getting terrible stomach pain after I ate eggs and had to give them up. Ten years later, I still can't eat them, unless it's a hard boiled egg, and then, only one. They don't bother me in baked goods, just raw, fried or scrambled. I try a couple every so often, to see if I can handle them, but no luck yet. The last attempt was last Christmas, when I had a cup of Dizneegirl's eggnog, after which, I spent most of Christmas Eve in pain. I've seen two other people on this forum mention the same issue, after months on Atkins, so I think it's related to over consumption, not an allergy that was there all along. Just a head's up.

ETA: get yourself a chair from Craigslist or something.

[AnnF]

Ha! I do that sometimes, too. My delivery place doesn't have a lettuce wrap option but I just throw away the bread.

You're doing fabulously!

[DairyQueen]

First off, the difference in the photos is startling. Great job. you're looking terrific.
second, you almost got me. I was thinking -- but he doesn't have to eat the bread! and, of course, you didn't, smart*** is right! hah!
I've lived on peanut butter for weeks at a time......haha for a change from eggs!

[GailyGail]

Z, OMG -- you really had me and scared me -- but I laughed with a great sense of relief at the end! Lettuce wraps rule! And I agree with Dairy Queen: you look fantastic and the 40 pound weight loss made a huge difference! You look great -- plus your eyes look clear and your skin looks smooth. Low carb works -- period -- and in ways that go beyond weight loss.

I also agree with NH -- you can get plenty of good furniture on Craig's List for a steal -- people often must unload quality items quickly due to an unexpected move, divorce, etc. I bet you could find a small TV, couch, kitchen table & chairs, coffee table and a nightstand for well under $1000.

You deserve to live in greater comfort. You are working so hard at your job while staying on a restrictive diet. You deserve a few creature comforts that make life a little easier while they satisfy your soul.

[Z]

Originally Posted by GailyGail

Z, OMG -- you really had me and scared me -- but I laughed with a great sense of relief at the end! Lettuce wraps rule! And I agree with Dairy Queen: you look fantastic and the 40 pound weight loss made a huge difference! You look great -- plus your eyes look clear and your skin looks smooth. Low carb works -- period -- and in ways that go beyond weight loss.

I also agree with NH -- you can get plenty of good furniture on Craig's List for a steal -- people often must unload quality items quickly due to an unexpected move, divorce, etc. I bet you could find a small TV, couch, kitchen table & chairs, coffee table and a nightstand for well under $1000.

You deserve to live in greater comfort. You are working so hard at your job while staying on a restrictive diet. You deserve a few creature comforts that make life a little easier while they satisfy your soul.

My first real paycheck comes in on Friday, and you can bet I'm going to want a desk, and a chair. Once it's rolling, my income is well in excess of my expenditures. but for the last few weeks, I've gotten to live a bit like a teenager - minus any of the good things about being a teenager. I can't complain, I have everything I need to survive until then. I even picked up some meat and salad to round out the diet until Friday. Some onions, some fresh spinach, some broccoli. I picked up some kielbasa and little smokies to give me something to cut the 2.5 dozen eggs with, and I even grabbed some kippered herring in a tin to have something to snack on.

The weather is great, I feel great, and I just know I'll be into twoderland by the end of the week. And if I'm not - well, that's ok too - I'll get there soon enough.

[Z]

I weigh daily, but I only track every saturday on my long term chart. The really great thing about this is when I get on a roll and start losing weight like crazy for a few days, I get to enjoy every last ounce of weight loss. Of course, the downside is that I am completely aware of the upswings as well.

I usually don't advertise the upswings, or the minor lulls because I figure it's not as much fun to read about. I want to make this as entertaining as possible, and yes, play up my successes.

However, it has been made evident I've got one or two lurkers out there People who - for some inexplicable reason - have been following along with my journey. I really want this thread to be an honest representation of my weight loss from start to finish, and on through maintenance.

It's not fair to those who have been following me, nor to those who might someday read this account in the future to only play up the easy wins. It can't be all 'a pound a day' every day. Sometimes my weight stops going down. Sometimes it even goes up a little.

This is natural, and it doesn't have me worried in the slightest.

Today, for example, my morning weight was right around 305.2. That's a pound and a half up from where I was! On a personal level it is slightly disheartening because I've done everything right. But intellectually, I realize that there is a certain degree fluctuation. Cycles within cycles. Eating and excreting, shedding and retaining... all kinds of cycles that might affect my weight at any given time.

It's hard to watch the scale do nothing good for two or three days in a row - but time and again, when I stay on plan I invariably lose the entire upswing, and a few extra pounds to spare, before the weekend.

Furthermore, 305 puts me 39 pounds below where I started. And looking at my chart, I'm bound to lose at least 2.5 pounds this week. And the slow weeks always come before the biggest weeks. 305 is as light as I've been, other than saturday, for years. If you looked at the graph, it's a consistent descent to where I am now. If I was stock, you would be well advised to sell, because I'm going down from here.

But (and again with keeping an eye towards being fair and informative to my intrepid and mostly imaginary readership) there is an internal component that must be addressed. The domain of feelings, which does not heed well the lessons of the past - and tends to assume only the worst of the future.

Every time my scale becomes unwilling to drop past some weight for a few days, I start to wonder if I've hit the end of the road. Maybe I've ridden the low carb train as far as it will go, and I'm not going to be able to lose weight eating what I love anymore. I'll have to go back to eating an ever-increasing quantity of nothing. I've used up all the low carb magic, and now it's time to go back to suffering to lose weight. By day 3 of a lull, I'm certain that I'm out of steam. I'll be eating tofurkey and sprouts for the rest of my life... I should have know that this awesome lifestyle couldn't last......

I don't believe it. but I still feel it. 4 days seems like an eternity when the scale won't budge. Then. on day 5 or 6 - I lose all of it in a single day. after days stuck at the same weight I'm 3 or 4 pounds down - carving into the new frontier. Looking back, I suddenly realize that I've lost 8 or 9 pounds over the last two weeks. Even though it constantly seems like the scale is going nowhere, the reality is I'm losing weight constantly. Better still, the overall long term trend is amazing.

Even when it feels like I'm going nowhere, the reality is, tomorrow's high weight will be lower than last Thursday's low weight. The weight that I will lament tomorrow will be the weight I celebrated only a few days ago.

I'm committed now, more than ever, to stay 100% compliant with my plan. And when I hit that milestone, there will be no celebration. no excuse to take a carb-vacation. Nope. I'll just set a new milestone, and carry on, emboldened by my most recent success.

Maybe my way of eating everything I want and nothing I don't like will stop working for me. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. For now, I'm riding the lard-train to bacontown - and I'm losing weight every step of the way. Except today - and that's ok - because I'd be willing to bet that I'll be to a brand new low come this Saturday (if not sooner). Then again, I think part of the trick is learning what things I can have that I want. Let's just say I can't wait for BBQ season to come back around - I'm ready to go to the butcher and special order some primal cuts for the smoker.

So I plod on patiently, secure in the knowledge that this crazy backwards diet works. The results are irrefutable.

[Z]

306.

That's three pounds up. I'm still confident that I'm less than a week away from a new low score. In fact, win or lose, I'll refer back to this post, either to congratulate myself on being right (and lighter), or to mock myself for being wrong!

either way it should be fun!

[Melle's_Sweetheart]

hehe...sure it's not TOM? That's what puts me up 6-10 lbs a month.

[GailyGail]

Z, I am sorry but if you mind me saying, I think you are weighing yourself too often -- this daily regimen is driving you crazy. Can you weight yourself once a week at the very same time--preferably in the morning, like every Friday morning, for example? Daily weighing is not anyone's friend -- even for someone who loses weight super fast like yourself. Please think about this and don't blow off this suggestion.

[Z]

You are always welcome to speak your mind, and I do appreciate your concern, but weighing myself every morning is an integral part of the routine that keeps me 100% in the game every day.

I promise it isn't driving me crazy. By all accounts I was a bit crazy to begin with. I'm a numbers person. More data means better data modelling, and better predictions. it means I can spot the patterns and improve my methodology. Suspense? that would drive me crazy. plus more would be on the line at each weigh in. As it is now, I'm only looking at the results of a single day - win or lose, there's always another day right around the corner. On the other hand, if I gain weight all at once, after waiting a whole week, that would be 7 times more devastating to me than the results of a single day. Plus it would be a week before the possibility of good news.

I'd give up on the diet by day 3. I'm just not that patient. Constant measurement keeps my head in the game. Put another way - I only weigh myself on days that I intend to stick to the diet.

Sometimes the number is a reward - and sometimes it's motivation.

I don't just weigh daily, I weigh twice per day - once in the morning, and again before dinner. I've learned that my average daily swing from morning to night is 2 pounds. I've learned that I have on weeks and off weeks that alternate like clockwork, and that I lose twice as much during the on weeks.

I honestly don't take any given scale number too seriously, because I know that the next drop is only ever a day or two away.

Once that scale reads 155, I'll switch to looking once per week. But until then, I need the daily update to keep me focused on the goal.

[Z]

Tonight for dinner:

Les petits enfumés à la crème d'oignon.

AKA, Little Smokies in a heavy cream and onion reduction sauce.



Never let it be said that I don't get enough vegetables - there's half of a very large onion in that bowl.

[Velvet]

I just read trough your journal, and I love your writing style.

That is a great option from that restaurant. And you were strong not to take the sandwich. Google could have let you to carbfests and you ended up here. So good job! ;-)

[GailyGail]

Your dinner looks fantastic. I stand corrected on the daily weighing. If it works for you - and clearly it does -- then you should keep doing it. Have a great day!

[Z]

Originally Posted by Velvet

I just read trough your journal, and I love your writing style.

Thanks! I just looked at your profile, and I am very impressed with your sewing. Once I'm at a stable weight, I know who to bug for a custom suit

I wish I spoke more Dutch, but unfortunately "Ik ben stomme Amerikaan," and consequently, education isn't my strong point.

[Velvet]

You are not stupid! And if you speak english, most people will understand you. ;-)
You dinner looks tasty! I throw unions in a lot of dishes. ^^

And thank you. :-) I just love sewing.

[Melle's_Sweetheart]

Threadjack (sorry!)

I am from the Netherlands so please excuse the Language barrier.

Velvet--my husband is from the Netherlands. We go back every year or so--where do you live?

[Velvet]

@ Melle: From Buitenpost, that is in the North of the Nederlands. I was born in the Hague tough. Where is he from? And where in Canada do you live? I have visited Canada twice once to Toronto and once to Vancouver. Lovely country!

[Z]

Tonight for dinner:

I started with half a package of Little Smokies and a fistful of green onions, and sauteed them in butter. Then I drenched the whole mess in heavy cream, and added broccoli to simmer while the cream reduced.

There's just enough surplus liquid to get away with calling it Chunk-style broccoli sausage chowder.

[Z]

Originally Posted by GailyGail

Z, I am sorry but if you mind me saying...

One other thing, you don't ever have to apologize to me for anything. Especially when you're being a good friend and looking out for me. I appreciate your directness, and your candor, and would never want you to hold back your honest opinion. Even if we disagree, it would do nothing to diminish my opinion of you.

[GailyGail]

Thanks Z! You are doing really well and I LOVE your attitude. It gives me strength and the fortitude to keep on going -- even when I feel like going off plan.

[drjlocarb]

Ain't that cute.

[Z]

I'm not used to living in apartments, having lived in houses for the last 8 years or so. I get off work between 8 and 9, so walking home I get to smell the dinner smells of 20 different households. My headphones hold the unwelcome sounds of the world at bay, but there's no avoiding at least some evidence of other people living in close proximity.

Strangers held apart by walls so thin, one might say that they are not really walls, but simply the idea of walls - An illusion made reality only by force of mutual agreement.

But the smells are everywhere. A million different little whispers of scent, inviting their respective families to take familiar sustenance in familial company. Above the noise, I recognize the smells of specific carbohydrates - rice and bread and tortillas and buttered corn.

Arrived at my door, I fumble for my keys as I shuffle the accouterments of the day's work from one hand to the other. The lock tumbles open and at once, I am inside. The lock and chain slide engage behind me, as reflexively as scratching an itch. An unlocked door would never go unpunished in this place.

I skipped lunch (again), so my intent runs immediately to dinner. The last tablespoon of my open stick of butter slides sizzling into the small frying pan I've taken to using on my unbelievably small gas range. Despite its size, and the degree of certitude with which I can assert that the managers of this apartment may have stolen this stove from a Mattel dollhouse factory in the early 40's, this unit has only two temperatures: Off, and flamethrower.

I heat the last few of my smoked cocktail sausages in the melted and hissing butter. I manage to turn the temperature down a bit without the flame going out, and the sausages are done in short order.

Having cleared the diminutive pan of its burden of sausages, I pull out the first egg to fry. I crack open the egg, badly. The shells of this brand are unusually thin, and don't fracture in complete striations as well as decent eggs. I go to empty the egg into the pan, but the egg sits in the bottom half - unwilling to release from it's home.

The recalcitrant egg had frozen. As had all my eggs.

I warmed a few eggs under running water, and tried again. It wasn't to be - the eggs simply wouldn't cook right tonight.

Defeated and hungry, I have retired to my room - having turned down the refrigerator: Perhaps tomorrow will bring me better luck.

[ouizoid]

Bummer!!

[Velvet]

Poor frozen eggs.
But you did go to bed, in stead of hunting for more food at the restaurants near you. ;-)

[Z]

Yeah - and then I ate a few bowls of spinach leaves and diced onion with olive oil and vinegar.

Still - I thought the frozen eggs were funny.

[AnnF]

Argh! I hope you managed to get a good breakfast this morning!

[Z]

Originally Posted by Z

306.

That's three pounds up. I'm still confident that I'm less than a week away from a new low score. In fact, win or lose, I'll refer back to this post, either to congratulate myself on being right (and lighter), or to mock myself for being wrong!

Either way it should be fun!

302.8

[GailyGail]

Fat is the last acceptable prejuidice in our world -- sad to say, but it is true. We have to be ten times smarter, more professional, nicer, charming, more generous and our hygiene has to be tip-top 100% -- or else people get grossed out by us. It's true.

Oh yeah and I forgot -- we are super funny, emphathetic and kind -- not to mention totally kick ass at our jobs. We get 100X the results of Skip Touchdown.

[GailyGail]

Ummm, I want to apologize for my rant. I did not mean it to come across that way. I am not the bitter fat chick looking to blame the world for my problems -- in fact, it is quite the opposite. I think most overweight people overcompensate in other areas so we don't get judged so harshly for our weight. I feel badly that I play into that but I do -- in some cases, it is necessary for survival.

The funny thing is, I don't even think of myself as fat until I look into a mirror. Usually I try to be great at my job and nice and respectful to people in general. So if they don't like me because I'm fat? Well, then that's their hangup and their issue, not mine.

[Phranquie]

Originally Posted by Z

It's kind of funny - even with some decent results (40 pounds in 3 months), people cannot accept that my way of eating is working for me. Here's the thing - Even if you want to eat a diet consisting entirely of dill, oysters, and pelican droppings, I'm simply not going to offer any unsolicited opinions.

As long as I'm on a roll, Isn't it weird how obesity is a moral failing, but alcoholism and drug addiction are diseases over which a person has no control? This despite the fact that countless addicts have managed to reclaim control of their lives.

Z, I agree with you on both parts. Maybe because I have been judged (or at least felt I have been judged) for so long about what I eat that I just refuse to do the same to others. While I am pretty curious and like to know what makes different people tick, I don't feel the need to judge anyone's choices on anything.

In the past I have wished to switch from obesity to another vice thinking that 1) that said vice would not be the first thing that everyone in the world sees about me and makes a social judgement about who I am and my worth in the world 2) that on the surface my vice would not be uncovered and I might possibly be able to control that vice because I would not have to partake in it every day to live. I don't feel that way now but when I was younger and struggling with issues of my obesity I felt ostracized and treated differently in general for one trait that was difficult for me to control.

Gail, you were not in the least bit bit@*chy and I agree with what you said. I am definitely an "overcompensator" as far as work is concerned. I strive to be the best at what I do.