Shark Sandwich

[scalestepper]

Originally Posted by Z

All this health food sure is tough. This morning for breakfast I had to eat 5 eggs fried over medium-well in butter and extra virgin olive oil (not the counterfeit stuff from Italy) with fresh garlic and melted smoked gouda cheese. I make a Ancho, Chipotle, White Pepper blend that goes great on the eggs.

And I get people trying to talk me out of LC asking me if I think I can eat like this forever.

And they're right. I just don't know if I'm going to be able to suffer through meals of real, freshly prepared, satisfying, delicious foods all of the time. Down 3 from yesterday, to 326.

fOR SURE...I suffered through a cheesecake muffin yesterday...a year from now we'll be glad we did, good luck to us Z...

[KalamityKaTT]

saw a reference to your weightloss... contgrats. I'm going to sub so I can come back and read your journey when I have more time.

[Z]

Thanks for stopping by, KalamityKaTT!

I'm really looking forward to the next few weeks. I'm moving from Seattle down to Tucson, thereby extending the 'outdoor exercise season' to year round (instead of just two weeks in August). Additionally, thanks to a carb refeed (and hence a sort of internal clock reset), I anticipate that should be able to drop 12 pounds in the next two weeks after I drop my water weight from 'timeshifted Thanksgiving'.

Even if I'm wrong, I'll learn something in the process - and update my projections to match the data. At the very least I feel like I can guarantee that I'm not going to lose nothing in the next two weeks.

Hopefully my numbers are a little more impressive by the time you read through the whole thing. I can see you've got quite the impressive run going as well - congrats!

[KalamityKaTT]

Originally Posted by Z

I know I sometimes forget to throw out the smileys, but you should always operate under the assumption that it's ok to laugh at something I said. Even my grumpiest posts are always shooting for at least a bit of a laugh I was told you were a great bunch of folks, and it would seem I haven't been led astray. Thanks for all of your kind introductions.

Again, just to be clear - I think advice is a great thing, and I respect all opinions, even those with which I disagree. I'm just tired of being told that a low cal cross-fit lifestyle is the only legitimate path to health. I am here to learn from others, and to document my experience for those who come after me.

It has been as if people are actively trying to talk me out of taking an active interest in my nutrition. As if the success of even a single low carb dieter would somehow invalidate their high willpower, constant hunger, low calorie, low fat, low flavor, sprouts and Tofurkey approach. Please, don't let me discourage anyone from starving themselves thin. If you can do that to yourself, go forth with my blessing. It's an impressive feat that has proven to be beyond my critical threshold for suffering.

I think differing viewpoints are a great thing, and I consider all of them when formulating my own opinions. But there is a world of difference between discussing a WOE that you employ, and actively trying to badger someone else into quitting something that is working for them.

I think I just needed to hunt around a bit to find the right place. A lot of those guys were the kind who know that the only one way to give 110% in fitness is to cheat (if you catch my drift).



Qavan! I refer you to Rule of Acquisition number 58: There is no substitute for success.



Thanks! It is marvelous to be in the company of people in a similar situation. You tell some people that you went bowling for three hours, and they don't -- Can't -- even begin to comprehend how much exercise that represents for someone in the mid 300s.

"if you woud just jog for two hours, three times a week, and eat only carrots and kale..."

If I could jog for two hours, I wouldn't have to consider the structural integrity of chairs so carefully when buying them.

I don't want to diminish the accomplishments or challenges faced by anyone here (or anywhere else), but every time someone who's never seen the dark side of 165 tells me how they're struggling with their weight, or that they 'know how I feel', there is a part of me that wants to assault them vigorously with a bezelling planisher. It's one thing to think that you are a massive hideous chud, but it is another thing entirely to be made unequivocally certain of it by others.

In the most recent Olympics, not one of the female competitors in any weight class could snatch my body weight. The medalists from the two lowest men's weight classes failed to snatch my weight as well. Not just the little guys. There were competitors in the 105kg and 105+ weight classes that failed to snatch my weight. People are lugging around Olympic Gold for picking up less weight once than I haul around all day. You picked up 156 kilos for a few seconds?

That's adorable.

Now haul it up and down the stairs a few times. Or better yet, follow the advice everyone loves to give me and go for a jog! What? Your back and knees and ankles aren't built to take that kind of punishment? How unusual... My joints feel so great all the time.

I'm fat. We're talking Class IV obesity. Not stout. Not hefty, or bigger (unless you mean bigger than the average NFL offensive lineman). People try to couch it in cute terms to spare my feelings, but that's more insulting than being insulted outright. I wasn't sensitive about it until you decided it was so horrific that you had to put on kid gloves to even speak the condition out loud.

Like I'm so fat that it's gained Voldemort status, and people are terrified to speak "IT" aloud. I've started finishing that stumbling awkward sentence for them:

"I wasn't sure if you'd want this armless chair because you're a... you know... um..."

• Land walrus
• Gravity farmer
• Cholesterol tycoon
• Master of Avoirdupois
• Wide load
• Dump truck
• Lunchbox
• Gravyboat
• More bloated and awful than Dave Crosby's liver
• Outsized sack of crap
• Chudzilla
• A slovenly beast
• An abomination
• The thing which should not be
• Dear lord, it's coming this way

I get it.

The results of my last cholesterol test was "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter". When I sit around the house I REALLY cause damage to the concrete foundation. I'm visible from orbit - Mars orbit. I carry so much mass that time moves more slowly as you get closer to me, and light bends around me causing birds and airplanes to fall out of the sky. The Earth was free floating in outer space before it succumbed to my gravity. When I approach the buffet table at a wedding reception, the band starts playing the theme from Rocky. The Inuit people are legally allowed to hunt me twice a year. They don't because they haven't found a way to 'use every part of the animal' in a single season. Every time I go to McDonalds, they add another million to their "millions served" sign. Subway pays me to NOT eat their food. I can't go to the beach without people throwing buckets of water on me, and trying to roll me back into the ocean. My daily walk interferes with continental drift. One time I stepped on a Wii Fit, and it said "No." One time I was bit by a snake, and after three days of intense suffering, the snake died of a heart attack.

I'm going to stop here, but rest assured that I can do this all day. The point is, I get it. I'm not oblivious. If it becomes necessary to address my fatness in conversation, just shoot me straight and don't turn it into a big production. I know I can't speak for everyone, but I'd rather just be called fat.

It's not something everyone has experienced, and I value that there are people here who have a similar task ahead of them. In more obvious ways than others, we have to be in this for the long haul. I'm not pretending to be the fattest guy here, or the only person to face these challenges. But you don't have to be the biggest guy to be big. I'd just rather call it what it is, and start from there. For me, it isn't something to shy away from, but rather it is a catalyst for personal change.

I know a lot of people like positivity, but for me, all of this perceived 'negativity' is what keeps me away from the pizzeria and the pastry cart.



You are my kind of people - Free to ignore the letter of my words because you comprehend and respect the spirit in which they were spoken. A smart alec, but with an emphasis on the first bit

Seriously, I want to thank all of you for your kind introductions. I'm sorry I couldn't get back to all of you individually - you're answering faster than I can reply. But I do appreciate each of your responses.

I look forward to not having to defend eggs.

Oh dear Jesus! I might need some oxygen. Ok.. from one FAT person to another. I totally get you. In fact, as someone who has been even fatter than you... might I just toss a proverbial BITE ME your way. I've not only lived what you've lived, but I've gone higher and yet you put it all into words so eloquently in ways that I never quite could.

All that aside, I can't recall laughing as hard as I did upon reading through this journal. In fact, I even had to copy and paste bits of it to a friend I was chatting with so she would understand my fists of insane laughter.

I do see that some have commented and perhaps even tried to get you to rethink some of your verbiage. I say.... (not that you asked) stick with what works for you. Several of us obviously respond to it very well otherwise we would not be racing to change our depends due to over flooding.

Anyway, before I digress too far, I'm glad I came back to this site/thread today. Stumbling upon your meanderings has lifted my spirit enough to remind me that I too can get this done. And perhaps even with a few laughs.

I, myself, started at 365 in Feb of 2012. I got down to 275 ish by in 6 or 7 months. Then I basically quit. Not really gonna bore you with the details but I'm back. I started back on Atkins on Nov 1 at 327. Today I'm at 219 and I still have two more days to go before my first week is over. So pretty soon you and I will be about the same. Will be interesting to follow your journey while going through my own.

- KaTT

[Z]

Originally Posted by KalamityKaTT

Oh dear Jesus! I might need some oxygen. Ok.. from one FAT person to another. I totally get you. In fact, as someone who has been even fatter than you... might I just toss a proverbial BITE ME your way. I've not only lived what you've lived, but I've gone higher and yet you put it all into words so eloquently in ways that I never quite could.

All that aside, I can't recall laughing as hard as I did upon reading through this journal. In fact, I even had to copy and paste bits of it to a friend I was chatting with so she would understand my fists of insane laughter.

I do see that some have commented and perhaps even tried to get you to rethink some of your verbiage. I say.... (not that you asked) stick with what works for you. Several of us obviously respond to it very well otherwise we would not be racing to change our depends due to over flooding.

Thanks - it means a lot to me on multiple levels to know that you've enjoyed reading my goofy thread. And I'm glad that you're taking my humor as it is intended - not as a manifestation of hatered towards fat people, and certainly not as a denigration of others - but simply an expression of disappointment at my own situation. Let's face it: if we were all happy with things the way they were, there wouldn't be a single person at this site. It's ok to be flawed. Imperfection is simply an opportunity for improvement.

It doesn't matter if the terms are true or not, the first time you realize that it is physically impossible for you to use an airplane lavatory during a 12 hour flight, and you have to make that walk of shame back to your seat, and the skinny guy sitting next to you huffs indignantly while you do everything you can to contort as much of your body into the aisle as possible - You're going to feel like a total yak.


I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, it's just my way of seeing the world. I understand why people are concerned that I might be demolishing my own self-esteem, but I think that's just projection. The reality is, if I didn't make fun of myself relentlessly, there'd be no containing my massive ego (In real life, I'm actually pretty awesome).

I'm a total rock star

If I didn't laugh at it, I'd have to take it seriously instead. How could that possibly be the better option? Budd Dwyer took himself pretty seriously - I'm sure we all remember how that worked out for him.

Originally Posted by KalamityKaTT

Anyway, before I digress too far, I'm glad I came back to this site/thread today. Stumbling upon your meanderings has lifted my spirit enough to remind me that I too can get this done. And perhaps even with a few laughs.

I, myself, started at 365 in Feb of 2012. I got down to 275 ish by in 6 or 7 months. Then I basically quit. Not really gonna bore you with the details but I'm back. I started back on Atkins on Nov 1 at 327. Today I'm at 219 and I still have two more days to go before my first week is over. So pretty soon you and I will be about the same. Will be interesting to follow your journey while going through my own.

- KaTT

Yeah - we're right there, more or less. I'm at 324.6 today, and we're both still bleeding off water weight. That puts you a bit ahead of me. It'll be interesting to see how it plays out, because you've already accomplished so much. I think having some weight loss buddies right around your number is helpful in keeping each other motivated and focused.

I guess it's time to pack for my flight. Thanks again for stopping by and sharing your thoughts with me. It really is fun for me to hear that people enjoy my writing. One of the great joys of my life is helping people to laugh. Take care of yourself and keep in touch.

[LiterateGriffin]

Keep up the hard work!

(I'm not so chatty the past couple days, but I'm still following.)

[Z]

Good to know you're keeping an eye out, LiterateGriffin.
:^)

[AlieKatt]

Originally Posted by Z

I can't imagine what for, but thanks, AlieKatt!

I think you are a brillaint writter. You have a wonderful sense of humour and I enjoy following your thread.

[DakotahDaddy]

Z, I've just spent the past hour or so reading through this thread from the beginning and was so moved I just had to join the board so I could respond.

You see, I was actually sent your post by a friend on another diet forum with a note saying, "You've really got to read this guy, he sounds just like you!" Well that in itself was enough motivation to bring me here, but once I started reading I couldn't stop. I was astounded!

I suddenly realized I was really fat when 4x shirts were too tight, when the extra heavy duty commercial grade treadmill couldn't support me anymore, when my Nike Air tennis shoes went flat and when I could no longer reach around to properly wipe my own backside (never made it so far to buy a robotic toilet). I was always trying diets with varying degrees of success, but would always be more than willing to look for ways to accomodate my morbid obesity.

I saw a picture that someone took of me this past summer... I was wearing shorts and a 4x T-shirt that was nearly too tight. I couldn't believe how terrible I looked! This was not the same person I looked at in the mirror everyday! The most shocking part was how my arms and face had a nice summer tan, but my legs were stark white! That's when I realized they weren't getting any sun because they had been lounging comfortably in the shade of the immense overhang I had built up for them!

My family and I went to a restaurant to celebrate my birthday in June and the waitress showed us to a booth. Now I haven't been able to fit into a booth for quite some time now, so, since she didn't offer up the option for a table I kindly requested that we be seated at a table instead. The hostess seating us could not have been more than 20 years old if she was even out of her teens so I attribute this to her youth and inexperience, but she turned to me and before thinking about what she was saying, very bluntly stated, "I don't think our chairs would hold you!" When her brain eventually caught up to her mouth and she realized what she had just said, aloud, she turned about 3 shades of red and ran into the kitchen, completely mortified! Eventually, the manager came out all apologetic, offered us a table after seeing my extreme discomfort with the booth, and brought us menus. I was quite surprised that I was not at all offended by the remark and actually thought it was refreshingly truthful. I cannot even begin to recount the number of times I have felt insulted by someone's awkward attempt at being "sensitive" about my weight. Your references to the "Voldemort" status really hit home.

I myself hit 404lbs before I finally found a low-carb plan that seems to be working for me. This time around I decided I was only going to tell people that I was 100% certain would respect and encourage me. In all, that was 5 people and 3 of those are my wife and 2 children. It wasn't that I wanted it to be a secret in case this was just another in a long line of failed diets... No, this was going to be my last diet and I was going to succeed because I was doing it for ME. I didn't need the input from everyone else that somehow believes they know what it takes to lose weight because they were able to lose 10-15 lbs. As you so bluntly put it, "We're not playing even the same game." Now with my success it has become apparent to many people around me that I am dieting, but that same success has allowed me some respect from those same people without the unnecessary critisisms or "input" I would have otherwise had to endure.

I've been in a bit of a depressed funk as of late because I seem to have hit a wall last week and stopped losing altogether. My success has been a huge part of my continued motivation and willpower to "Keep on keeping on" so to speak. Now my fruitless attempts to break through this seemingly impenetrable barrier have diminished my motivation and allowed the dark, brooding beast within to voice opposition to my continued refrain from the things I so desire.

Reading through your ramblings has definately lifted my spirits tonight. I still must find a way to re-ignite my weight loss fire, and I will do so. I am still fat and have a long journey ahead of me, but I'm not as fat as I once was...

[KalamityKaTT]

Originally Posted by Z

It doesn't matter if the terms are true or not, the first time you realize that it is physically impossible for you to use an airplane lavatory during a 12 hour flight, and you have to make that walk of shame back to your seat, and the skinny guy sitting next to you huffs indignantly while you do everything you can to contort as much of your body into the aisle as possible - You're going to feel like a total yak.

@Z: Oh lord. That reminds me of a few recent flights I took to Canada. My best friend returned home for cancer treatments and it became necessary for me to fly (something I had previously sworn off of ever doing again) to visit her and spend time with her before she succumbed to her disease. Surprisingly all the angst I had built up about flying was gone but what had replaced it was a shocking realization that the seat belts didn't fit! Oh good Lord in heaven don't they know not one is a size 10? It's bad enough that the "coach" seats have you virtually sitting in your front and rear neighbors lap did you also have to share their safety harness? It was about 2 inches too short. Seriously?? But rather than bring this to everyone's attention I decided.. hell.. I have all this fat just sitting around in my lap.. I'll just tuck both ends of the belt under there.. no one will ever know the difference!

But you see, my fear wasn't about saying. .Hey.. I'm too fat to fit! Does this come in jumbo? It was what if I bring attention to my size and then they would ask me to disembark and I wouldn't get to see my friend.

Silly me! On my flight back home the attendant took one look at me and politely asked "Would I would like a belt extender" just as if she was asking if I needed a pillow or blanket. I was dumbfounded. Egads!! They make those??? You mean.. fat people ARE allowed on planes? Good lord what has this world come too? The sad part comes not from the bathroom, as I did manage to use that with only minor difficulty... but from the fact that I took that little "extender" home with me. And the realization that I, someone I consider to be a very honest and law abiding citizen, would steal a seat belt extender just to save myself from further embarrassment was one of the reasons I decided to try Atkins. It was a feeling of utter disgust in myself.. and I think its healthy to be truthful with ourselves, if we aren't, who will be? Mind you.. like you... I also happen to think I'm a pretty terrific person. I'm just a morbidly obese terrific person.

Originally Posted by DakotahDaddy

I suddenly realized I was really fat when 4x shirts were too tight, when the extra heavy duty commercial grade treadmill couldn't support me anymore, when my Nike Air tennis shoes went flat and when I could no longer reach around to properly wipe my own backside (never made it so far to buy a robotic toilet). I was always trying diets with varying degrees of success, but would always be more than willing to look for ways to accommodate my morbid obesity.

@DakotahDaddy: You're friend was right.. you two do sound a like.

I have a husband who is obese as well. Not nearly as much as I am.. I think currently he is pushing somewhere between 250 and 260, where as he should be 175ish. I think at one point he was near 300. I can't recall. Now he is a diabetic, has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and various other ailments. He's suffered numerous "silent" (due to the diabeties) heart attacks and recently even had a stroke. I would LOVE to get him on board but he is so programed by his doctors now that he looks at my Atkins way of life and scoffs, but here I am.. the only think I have at this point is high BP and even that is starting to come down. At my previous weight of 365 I had high cholesterol but I even managed to combat that on my own. I can't tell you how many times I want to smack him.. Its just so darned hard to get people out of the herd mentality thinking that Atkins is bad. Luckily tho, I managed to find a doctor who supports this choice for me 100%

So hang in there.. you WILL get past the hurdles of the stall. I had the same problem when I reached about 50 lbs lost.. it takes a while for your body to get back with the program but we didn't gain this all in a day, or even a year.. so we can't expect to lose it that fast either. Your body will come around and start shedding again.. Just hang in there!

[LiterateGriffin]

DakotaDaddy:

Just wanted to point out that "stalls" are a normal part of weight-loss. It's normal, just part of how it all works, and they DO end, eventually. (Usually with a bang!) So take a look at your diet and activity levels to see if anything can account for it ("carb creep" can be pretty common!), and then just keep on doing what you're doing.

If you need motivation, remember that a slow-to-stalled weight-loss is still WORLDS better than a slow weight GAIN. Which is where you (me, and all the rest of us) were before we changed our diets.

When in doubt, increase your fat a bit. (You know, the LC equivalent of your doctor telling you to drink plenty of fluids -- good sound advice, regardless of the problem.)

Keep up the great work, guys!

[NH_Free]

DakotahDaddy - you've come a long way already. If you're not doing it, it might help to take measurements and record them. Often times, when people stall, they're still losing inches. I stayed around the same weight for most of this summer, but lost an inch off my waist and 1/2" off my thighs. Wasn't being particularly good about watching the diet or exercising either. In fact, we took a vacation to SD, MT and WY and I was eating stuff I shouldn't have been. That Wall Drug Grocery has the BEST buffalo burgers in the freezer department!!

[Z]

Typing on a phone, so I'll have to be brief

In Tucson.

320.8 (24 pounds down), new record low.

Thanks for stopping by, DakotahDaddy, and congrats on your progress.

Detailed response forthcoming.

[DakotahDaddy]

I understand that there will always be slowdowns in my weight loss as my body adapts to what I am doing and continues resisting any attempts to become healthy. I just cannot help feeling frustrated which leads to overcompensating which puts my body into starvation mode causing my metabolism to effectively shut down which just keeps the vicious circle going.

Sometimes I just want to do a total "Reboot" and go eat a whole loaf of bread and start over again... OK, NOT! It would just be so much easier if we could retrieve an earlier record from the pattern buffer and beam me back into a body from a much younger, happier, healthier time in my life... Beam Me Up Scotty!

I do appreciate the encouragement in your responses. I take measurements every week (neck, arms, chest, abs, waist) and even though the weight loss is totally stalled I did continue to lose inches (minimal, but still negative). I am very encouraged by the simple fact that in my 13 weeks the worst weekly weigh-in has been a ZERO. I have not had a gain (said while rapping solidly on my simulated woodgrain desktop) yet. At first when my losses were averaging 5.6lbs/wk a 2.6 lb week was very depressing. As the rollercoaster ride continued I learned to accept every loss as a very positive report, but this is the longest and worst dry spell so far and the cravings and desires are off the scale. It's hard to continue shovelling the lettuce, greens and protein when the scale is not cooperating.

But heads up, smile pasted firmly in place and positive thoughts, right?!? I WILL push through, no matter what.

KalamityKaTT, Woe be it from me to tell someone else what to do, but your concerns regarding your DH are well placed. Let me tell you what brought me to where I am now. Hypertension KILLS. There is no easier way to say it. At my heaviest weight (408lbs according to the hospital scale) I was on the maximum dosage of 5 blood pressure medications and my BP was still off the scale. That day it was 210/132! That was ON meds!

I will never forget that day as I had to agree to some pretty drastic measures to keep me out of the hospital. Once they finally released me after pumping me full of drugs (Dilaudid is AWESOME, BTW) and prescribing me 2 additional medications, my doctor came to talk to me as a friend, not my Dr. He put it very simply, "You will be dead inside a year if you do not take drastic measures!" Then he told me about the Ideal Protein program and how he and some other doctors had found success with the program. He lost 30lbs himself and went from 220 to 190. But this isn't about the program I am on...

My EKG shows damage from those same "silent heart attacks" your husband is experiencing and I am so far into the stroke danger zone with my weight, BP and family history that it is nearly a certainty. I was so fat that I was not ALLOWED to exercise more than walking! Anything that could significantly raise my heart rate could easily cause a stroke. I have lost 60lbs and am still on 5 hypertension meds and 2 additional meds for pain that also help with the hypertension. The good news is that while I am still on the meds, my BP is now under control. My last appointment at 40lbs lost was 136/82 which is the lowest reading I've seen in years for me.

The point I am trying to make is don't give up on him. Maybe LC isn't a good choice for him, but encourage him to find something that does fit. I am a firm believer that attitude plays a huge roll in weight loss success... If he doesn't believe in the program, it won't work. While he may not be anywhere near the weight I was toting around, the fact that he has diabeties makes him that much more vulnerable without the extra tonnage. I've had too many friends, family and colleagues struck by this deadly killer, some without even knowing they had hypertension until it was too late.

BTW, I was introduced to seat belt extenders in 2002 when the simple fact that I could not fasten my seat belt actually was cause to delay our departure until they could find me an extension. Imagine the humiliation as this was announced to the entire flight as we sat waiting in 100+ heat on the tarmac at Houston International. No, cannot say those things bring up good memories for me... I never thought about pilfering one though... in hindsight that could have saved me considerable embarrasement.

[LiterateGriffin]

Originally Posted by DakotahDaddy

It's hard to continue shovelling the lettuce, greens and protein when the scale is not cooperating.

I second my previous comment: Up your fats!

While for many, a low carb, high protein, low fat diet works, protein can also be converted to glucose by our bodies. Many people find that, over time, too much protein can cause them to stall. A high-fat, moderate protein, low carb diet often works much better for these people.

Now, I realize your cardiac-situation has probably lead your doctor and yourself to limit fats in favor of heart-health. However, there is a growing body of evidence that dietary fats -- even dietary saturated fats and cholesterol -- do not have the negative impact on cardiac health that we've been taught for so long. Increased dietary cholesterol on a low-carb diet is generally linked to IMPROVED serum-cholesterol levels.

What I would suggest is -- if your stall continues -- to look at some of the research, bring it to your doc, and decide what you want to do.

[Rayne_W]

Originally Posted by Z

I think the key for me is to never let myself be hungry.

I make bad decisions when I'm hungry.

yOU wOn't LIkE mE WheN i'M hUnGRy

I can relate to this in a BIG WAY. And for whatever reason, being hungry (more like ravenous) on LC seems so much worse for me than it ever did on HC. I used to get cranky. Now I get...well...mean. Not proud of it, so we make sure we're as well-stocked as possible (and I suspect my DH may be packing a tazer just in case).

Just wanted to say that I'm really enjoying your journal, your perspective, and your brand of humor.

Wilkommen!

[Z]

Thanks for stopping by, Rayne - I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the thread.
___


Do you have any idea how much packaging goes into a new computer? It's a lot. Mind you that it is deeply offensive to the core of my being to even consider buying a prebuilt computer, but after 13 hours without my own console, it became pretty obvious that I needed to do something fast.

So now I'm sitting in the back room of a trailer in a 55 and older park in Tucson, Arizona, and it's positively littered with Styrofoam brackets and packing peanuts and various kinds of cellophane and plastic wrapping and twist ties. I'm stuck using Windows 8, and I'm sneaking onto the Internet by using my cell phone as a wireless hotspot. At these speeds it's more like a lukewarm spot. After an evening spent unwrapping and setting it all up, I'm exhausted. But, at least I've got a proper keyboard again. It's no Model M, but it'll have to do for the next few months.

I'm afraid I still haven't tendered a proper response for the day. I promise that tomorrow I will address all of the great stuff going on in here today. And yesterday. And possibly tomorrow.

Again though, I'd like to thank everyone for having a look and sharing your experiences. I'm really enjoying the interactive nature of this thread - so feel free to threadjack. It keeps things interesting

[Z]

318.8 *after breakfast.

[drjlocarb]

Most excellent!

I am watching you. Well, cheering for you anyway.

[Z]

Originally Posted by DakotahDaddy

Z, I've just spent the past hour or so reading through this thread from the beginning and was so moved I just had to join the board so I could respond.

You see, I was actually sent your post by a friend on another diet forum with a note saying, "You've really got to read this guy, he sounds just like you!" Well that in itself was enough motivation to bring me here, but once I started reading I couldn't stop. I was astounded!

Reading through your ramblings has definately lifted my spirits tonight. I still must find a way to re-ignite my weight loss fire, and I will do so. I am still fat and have a long journey ahead of me, but I'm not as fat as I once was...

I am humbled and utterly thunderstruck, not only at the prospect that I'm being talked about on other sites, but that anyone would actually take the time to come out of their way to read through all of this.

I can really relate to your story. I've owned a few pairs of Flat Nike Airs myself. It's amazing how quickly they go from being gentle cloudlike cushions to squeaky suction devices that are singularly well suited for drawing water noisily and permanently into your shoes.

I think it's easy, as people who've amassed an extraordinary degree of obesity, to feel isolated. When I try to explain to people why I can't walk as fast or far as they can, it feels like I'm trying to justify my laziness - or at least I imagine that's how it sounds. You can't talk to your skinny friends about restroom difficulties - especially when every time there's a bad smell, everyone's first assumption is 'it's the fat guy'. There's no maintaining dignity while explaining to your friends that you chafe and brew funky crease cheese in your stomach folds if you don't powder yourself with Gold Bond on a regular basis. There's no way of bringing up any aspect of your man breasts in conversation that isn't utterly humiliating - or the fact that sometimes you get friction blisters on your thighs when you do a lot of walking.

And so we do everything we can to compensate for this, and we try to stay as clean as we can. We hide these experiences from everyone, and for the most part we suffer alone - because we isolate ourselves from each other as well. And that's why all of that stuff is a surprise to everyone that it happens to. No one is going to warn you about all of the embarrassing parts of being fat, because we're all too busy hiding these things - at least in part because it seems like you might be the only person going through these problems.

And so we stay silent about all of it, and bury it away somewhere deep down. and we increasingly turn inwards - because the topic of the day in your mind is something that you can't discuss with anyone.

I don't think it's simply being "big and ugly" that causes the depression so many of us experience. Certainly that's a component - but I think far more important is that sense of speciation from real humanity. A sense of being sub-human - even inhuman. And everyone is so occupied with what their number on the scale is, that they don't even realize that so many others are in that same boat. Other fat people don't look as fat to us as we look to ourselves. "Well, he carries it well."

I think we develop this sense of being the lone pigeon at the dove party. And when the doves start regarding you as a asexual punchline, or a nonsocial workbot, and when you find yourself being turned down for jobs that were enthusiastic over the phone, but inexplicably less sanguine after a face to face meeting; After all of that, that sense of being different, repulsive, and abhorrent is justified both internally, and externally. You're not just a monster - but the only monster.

That's why its so great to meet others in this same boat. Maybe it's simply the relative anonymity of the Internet, but for the first time in history, it's possible for people to come together and discuss fatness in an honest and even vulnerable sort of way; These million niggling indignities that we've been conditioned to believe that we brought on ourselves. And in so doing, I think it helps us to break down that illusory wall between us, and say things that are real, and meaningful.

I think that people are still shy about it, but to my eyes, far sadder than bringing to light the dark side of being fat, is to continue living lives of silent shame. I know people are told to be positive about these things, but such false positivity is like whipped cream on a cow pie. It doesn't make it any sweeter, it simply completes the underlying insult. False flattery doesn't make anyone feel better - it just keeps us quiet. It is a form of suppression, and we've been willing participants just to avoid admitting that there's a problem.

Because of this, I try my best to be honest - even when it might be uncomfortable to do so. Because no matter what I've been through, there are a million others who have gone through worse. If, even in the smallest way, I can help someone feel less alone, if I can help someone to laugh about something that has been the source of so much sadness, if I can help just one person to find their way back to health (even if only by documenting my mistakes), then the purpose of my writing will be satisfied.

Thanks again for stopping by! I hope to see you around.
___

Originally Posted by Rayne_W

I can relate to this in a BIG WAY. And for whatever reason, being hungry (more like ravenous) on LC seems so much worse for me than it ever did on HC. I used to get cranky. Now I get...well...mean. Not proud of it, so we make sure we're as well-stocked as possible (and I suspect my DH may be packing a tazer just in case).

I was about to ask if your name rhymed with Kanye, before I took a closer look at the spelling.

I find that everything on low carb operates on like a square wave rather than a saw wave. On the typical American diet, I gradually get hungry until I eat. With low carb, I get voraciously hungry all at once.

For me the trick has been to eat a lot. I've had to completely remove the principles of starvation, moderation, and cholesterol from my diet plan. Being hungry doesn't make you lose weight. Eggs and butter don't make your heart explode. I know how strong these associations are for people, but I think people who don't completely let go of these things will find it a lot harder to succeed on LC. That said, I'm only down 26 pounds. I'm no expert on losing weight, but it seems to me that a lot of people still can't completely let go of old information. So they try to starve themselves on Atkins, while focusing too much on vegetables (and not counting veggie carbs) and not enough on fat and protein. Then they wonder why they're starving all of the time and they can't get their weight loss started.

I eat meat and eggs to the point of absolute satiety. Sure, normal people only eat two eggs in a sitting. But normal people follow that up with toast, and hash browns, and a bowl of fruit or cereal. I've brought my meat and egg intake up dramatically to fill the slack left behind by potatoes and grains and pasta and fruit and sugars.

When I eat to the point of complete satiety, I find that I don't get hungry again nearly as quickly as with a high carb diet. This makes it easier to plan my next meal before I am ravenous to the verge of cannibalism.

[NH_Free]

Yes, it's probably best to nip it in the bud before cannibalism sets in. lol Then again, long pig would be low carb, right?

[Z]

Down to 318.0 - almost an entire pound. Kind of sucks to think I'd be down to 305 by now if not for a few bumps in the road.

I'm in Tucson now. I wanted to get a bit of a workout in, so I decided to head down to the driving range yesterday. Unfortunately, the facility didn't have an ATM - it's a cash only place. I don't carry cash. Also I don't drive. I wasn't going to call a cab immediately after being dropped off.

So I took my golf club for a two-hour walk back into the city.

I guess I got that workout after all.

On the way back into town, I stop at a Chinese restaurant for some sliced roasted pork (usually called bbq pork). I also got the Mongolian beef, since it is a dish that tradationally doesn't have some kind of sugary sauce - I was wrong on this occasion. I asked the proprietor about the sugar content, she said it was less than a spoonful. So I picked around the noodles, and ate the meat. I'm hoping my increased activity will be sufficient to burn off any excess glycogen quickly.

I was impressed, though, when after our discussion she said the next time I came in she'd be willing to cook it without sauce and noodles if I ask ahead of time.

While I was eating, a guy came in. Asked me why I was walking around with a driver and I explained to him that I headed to the golf course to get some activity in and start chipping away at my weight and fitness goals.

He recommended if I really want to lose some weight, I should cut down on carbs.

Evidently, he had lost 80 pounds in the last 6 months.

The information is out there for people who are willing to try something different - and every success story is a new evangelist. It's hard to argue with someone who has made the change you want to make. When we decided to switch to the low carb thing, it was based on the recommendation of friends from my roommate's work who had read Taubes and lost 100+ pounds within a year. I had seen Fat Head recently, so I was already on board when he suggested it.

I have friends who've been dieting and exercising for a decade, without results. They keep grinding away on that starvation model, and blaming themselves every time they fail. I tried it myself, and understand that it is not more a failure of willpower than not being able to hold your breath until you die.

I haven't made it to the promised land yet. I have to concede that I might not. There might be some fatal flaw that I'm not recognizing that will prevent me from crossing that finish line - but I'm not seeing it. I can already recognize the sustainability of this approach. Eat, be full, don't think about food.

More and more I'm trying to sever the concept of food being delicious, or rewarding or pleasurable. Not that I intend to eat only bland terrible things, but I never want to be in the situation of looking forward to food again.

There's too much addict talk around food. "Life without a chocolate isn't worth living," or "I've got to have something sweet every now and then" or "You can't be perfect all of the time" (as an excuse to go off plan for the third time in a week)... You could replace the food with heroin, and those sentences would still make sense. Food isn't a reward. It isn't a treat. It is fuel. It's ok to like some foods better than others, or even to enjoy what you eat. But part of what we are breaking is a dependency on food to satisfy emotional needs. That's why I'm not interested in low carb candy or sweets - the behavior of eating candy is far more dangerous than sugar.

That's the difference low carb is making for me. I don't feel deprived, because I don't want what I don't need. I think it is very true, in the context of dieting, that desire is the cause of all suffering. Once while you drive yourself insane obsessing over what you should not eat, and again when your scale reflects your decisions.

[BecBelle]

[QUOTE=Z

I don't think it's simply being "big and ugly" that causes the depression so many of us experience. Certainly that's a component - but I think far more important is that sense of speciation from [I]real humanity[/I]. A sense of being sub-human - even inhuman.

I think we develop this sense of being the lone pigeon at the dove party. And when the doves start regarding you as a asexual punchline, or a nonsocial workbot, and when you find yourself being turned down for jobs that were enthusiastic over the phone, but inexplicably less sanguine after a face to face meeting; After all of that, that sense of being different, repulsive, and abhorrent is justified both internally, and externally. You're not just a monster - but the only monster.

I think that people are still shy about it, but to my eyes, far sadder than bringing to light the dark side of being fat, is to continue living lives of silent shame. I know people are told to be positive about these things, but such false positivity is like whipped cream on a cow pie. It doesn't make it any sweeter, it simply completes the underlying insult. False flattery doesn't make anyone feel better - it just keeps us quiet. It is a form of suppression, and we've been willing participants just to avoid admitting that there's a problem. ]

___


Z,
This sums up so much of how I feel. These 3 paragraphs that you wrote are my life story. Your thread encourages me so much. Thanks, from one monster to another.

[Z]

I spent 2 hours today whacking golf balls. I'm no good at it, but it's just engaging enough that I can play through the pain. So much exercise tends to cause a bump in my weight - so I won't take it too personally if I find I'm 2-3 pounds heavier tomorrow.

Crazy thing about the desert. They're having a cold snap - It was only 65 and mostly sunny

When I went to the driving range in Portland, it was probably 55 - plus it was completely overcast, damp and windy. After hitting a large bucket of balls, every knuckle on both hands was swollen and sore for three days.

Today, here in Tucson, I hit two large buckets of balls and my hands feel fine - a little worked and stiff, sure, but nothing like what I deal with up north.

It is going to be so much easier to be active here.

[Z]

Originally Posted by BecBelle

Z,
This sums up so much of how I feel. These 3 paragraphs that you wrote are my life story. Your thread encourages me so much. Thanks, from one monster to another.

Thanks - It's really been incredible to hear from so many people. I think it's so important to our journey that we seek each other out and share these experiences - That we de-isolate ourselves. If carbs are an addiction (and I assert that they are), correcting what we eat is only a part of our recovery. We also have to heal that inner pain that led us over the top. We have to understand why we eat. Talking to each other, we can better understand ourselves.
__________________________

Low carb cracks me up. Tonight for dinner I had nearly a pound of bacon, and 4 eggs submersion fried in bacon fat. That's how I lose weight, evidently. I came into this two months ago unconvinced that it would work. But I had to give it an honest shot. I followed the guidelines I was given, and it's working.

Everyone says "You won't be able to eat like that and lose weight forever."

First of all, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Secondly, why not? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right? So the same things that take off the first pound ought to take off the last, more or less. I could be wrong, but I suspect that I won't need to eat as much, when I'm not feeding 163 pounds of unwanted adipose tissue.

Here's the thing. I've tried sprouts and tofu, and 72 grain bread with gravel bits. And I've tried bacon dipped in cheese sauce.

Guess which one makes me lose weight.

So despite my initial skepticism, my experiment would seem to indicate that bacon and eggs, butter, 40% industrial heavy cream, bunless sauceless McDoubles, bratwurst, kolbasz, Landjäger - all of this is health food.

It's sprouts, low fat dressing, and tofurkey that'll make you fat.

[Dolores Claiborne]

This thread is a wonderful place to be. Thank you all for posting.

[KalamityKaTT]

Z, Good to hear you're settling in to Tuscan so well. I have a LC friend who lives in Az. It might even be Tuscan as well.. I don't recall. Anyway, she absolutely loves the weather.

On the dreaded weight topic, nice to see your still losing steadily. A lb of bacon... WOW. That would be my husbands dream. I just can't seem to get past all that salt. Not that I don't love salt.. just that the taste accumulates and it gets to be too much for me. I take it that doesn't bother you?

As for me, as of late I've been focusing more on proteins and less on veggies. I've yet to start counting. Thus, I just eyeball my portions and guesstimate based on past runs with Atkins on the carb load. Thus far I'm doing ok. I'm now down 13 lbs in a week and a half. I see the 300 mark coming and going soon!

Maybe we can race there together.

I'm curious.. do you like fish? I'm not a huge fan other than cod, halibut, and now Swai. I've been testing out new kinds to see what I like and what I don't. In the meantime, that means I'm eating a great deal of shrimp and fish rather that just all beef (I'll take a side of beef any day of the week). So I'm curious to see where you stand on the subject and if you eat any at all.

[Z]

Originally Posted by KalamityKaTT

I'm curious.. do you like fish? I'm not a huge fan other than cod, halibut, and now Swai. I've been testing out new kinds to see what I like and what I don't. In the meantime, that means I'm eating a great deal of shrimp and fish rather that just all beef (I'll take a side of beef any day of the week). So I'm curious to see where you stand on the subject and if you eat any at all.

I don't usually do fish, though I do have a weakness for Brunswick kippered snacks (smoked herring in a tin). I'll eat two cans in a sitting, and they're a magnificent snack - and that was before I was low carb.

Sadly, I'm also low crab - turns out I'm allergic to crab and lobster... talk about a raw deal.

[Z]

316.4

[NH_Free]

Where are you going to shop when you don't need a tailor anymore, Z?