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Old 01-13-2014, 05:55 AM   #601
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Where's the like button? I need the church of Z. Where do I go?
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Old 01-15-2014, 09:24 PM   #602
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Hey Z, just a quick hello and "where you at?" ..."it's such a fine line between stupid, and uh, ...clever. " David St. Hubbins ...one of my all time fave movie quotes...Lol!
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Old 01-16-2014, 06:28 PM   #603
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Originally Posted by RoxyRoller View Post
Hey Z, just a quick hello and "where you at?" ..."it's such a fine line between stupid, and uh, ...clever. " David St. Hubbins ...one of my all time fave movie quotes...Lol!
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Old 01-22-2014, 04:34 PM   #604
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Ok, I'm caught up on all my General Hospital episodes ....hope you're well, and hope to see you back soon!
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Old 01-22-2014, 07:00 PM   #605
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I'm never too far off. Thanks for the kind words.

250, plus or minus two. That's been my life for the last month or so. I'm at 249.2 today, but I feel like I'm due for a whoosh. My flub is... whatever the opposite of dense is. Sparse doesn't quite sound right. It usually gets like that right before I let go of a lot of it at once. I've been eating clean and living clean - and thanks to being a bit ill this week, I haven't been eating much of anything anyway.

At the end of november, I saw the 240s for the first time. Even though it feels like it's taking forever right now, it will only be a matter of time before I am lamenting the 230s. By the end of the year, I'm hoping that I'll be despondent about my inability to shake 196.

It'll all happen, with time.
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Old 01-23-2014, 05:45 PM   #606
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Way to go, Z. Thank you for constantly modeling self discipline and determination. You are a role model and inspiration for so many.
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Old 01-24-2014, 12:03 AM   #607
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Again - you are entirely too kind.

A friend of mine has decided to take the plunge and join me on this crazy diet. She's about two weeks in and she's already down 6 pounds. For the last few weeks I've been helping her to learn how to decipher food labels, and avoid the many pitfalls that await the unwary.

She's even reading Taubes's book Why We Get Fat.

After a few weeks of coaching, she's getting pretty good at picking the carbs out of a lineup. She's reading all of the labels, and she's developed a sense of protectiveness about her diet (not wanting to have to start from day 1 again).

To be clear, I didn't harass or cajole. No effort was spent in trying to be persuasive. This is something she decided to do on her own, inspired at least in part by my results.

I think about all of the people who are opposed to a low-carb diet. I used to be one of those people, because at first glance, HFLC does carry all of the hallmarks of a fad diet. And there are a lot of dietary fads out there. Raspberry ketones, green coffee extract, acai berries, Pritikin, 'think yourself thin', HCG... A new diet on the cover of every health or women's magazine, every week.

But after being presented with a reliable but secondhand story of success, and presented with supporting materials, The evidence seemed compelling - if true. I decided to give it a shot, with the understanding that I had nothing to lose from the attempt. I jumped in headlong, because the only way I could discredit this silly diet would be to follow it precisely - past the confines of common sense. I never believed that I would see any measure of success with it.

Except that it worked, or is working so far. Even if I never lose another pound, my health and mobility has already improved by several orders of magnitude.

Now I find myself in the position of being the tinfoil hat wearing defender of carbohydrate-restricted dietary intake. I've learned to gently and politely brush aside the admonitions of others - they are simply concerned for my well-being. I don't advocate my dietary choices to others - though I am always happy to share my methodology when prompted to do so.

"It's not for everyone," I say. Some people simply aren't ready to let go of sugar and starch - And, indeed, many people don't need to. More importantly, I don't ever want to be the person telling someone else what is right for them. That is always a personal choice. This is what I do, for me. And it's working, for me.

But I do want to do my small part to legitimize HFLC as a viable, long-term solution to weight and blood sugar management. People will be watching me in the years to come for the 'inevitable' rebound. If I fail, others will attribute that failure to the inherent instability of low carb diets. "It's just a crash diet, dude. I told you."

There is a flipside to this.

Nothing wins like winning. Even with so far left to go, my change has been a radical one. My friends can't help but be intrigued how I've managed so much success. Especially when they're the ones spending 4-6 hours doing cardio in the gym every week - and their losses have been minimal.

No matter how successful you are, there will always be that subset of people who are convinced that you are wrong. But with enough success, there are people who may come to you for help - and in turn, through their successes, become promoters in their own right. Someone succeeded - that's how I heard about it. I'm putting up promising results. And now my friend is the next in line. It's a bit early in the game to call the score, but I think that she will be quite successful - because she is diving into this dietary realm headfirst. Because she understands how important it is not to cut corners. Because she is taking the time to learn about the underlying mechanisms that drive ketogenic weight loss. Because she recognizes that she is fighting an addiction. Because all of this was her idea - and not mine.

There is a road back from extreme obesity. It's not easy, and it's not fast - but it is effective. Despite the growing evidence, this argument will not be won with a head-on confrontation of the prevailing wisdom, but rather by the dignified success of people like us. Not through arguing, but through sharing. Not by focusing on others, but by focusing on oneself. Our actions and our results speak louder than our words ever could.

So stay the course, one egg at a time. People will notice. And in time you may be surprised who comes to you for the advice that could change their life for the better. We might never 'legitimize' low carb. But what if you are able to light the way for one other person? You might never even know that it happened. The people who convinced me were my former roommate's co-workers who had both lost a tremendous amount of weight. This story came to me secondarily, but it was part of what put me over the edge. My life has completely changed for the better, and they will never even know that they played some role in that.

I would encourage you to be that example at every phase of your journey - even if it doesn't seem like anyone is looking. Whether you are just starting out, or are well into maintenance, this exact moment of your story is relevant to someone, somewhere. We all impact the world in ways that we do not see. Our actions make ripples in the lives of those around us - and in the lives of those around them. Who knows? That smile from the pleasant stranger in line at the coffee shop might be the distant echo of a smile you put out into the world two days ago - having made a return trip home.

Not to be tedious and insufferable (too late) - but when I see and hear from the many people whose lives I've managed to touch in some small way it's completely astounding to me. Every time I hear that someone has cover-to-covered a 20 page thread about my lunch, because they found it to be riveting or inspiring or entertaining - I can't imagine how I inspire any of those things, but I am deeply honored that my experience has meant anything to anyone other than myself. I'm no one special. I'm not important or famous or too terribly interesting on many levels. I'm just a regular guy. I could never have guessed how many people would stop by to tell me that my story has meant something to them.

I thank every one of you - those who have posted, and those who have not - for taking the time out of your day to share this journey with me.
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Old 01-24-2014, 06:06 AM   #608
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Well Z, you are an inspiration. And I'm sure, so many would LOVE to have the talent to keep readers riveted like you have. And you have the ability to emote what many of us have felt, or are currently going through!

I have a "blog", but it's private. Handwritten in a journal. It would not be suitable for the public because it contains expletives and emotion that only my eyes should see. .

You talk about the inevitable "backslide" and how people might take that as an opportunity to blame the HFLC WOE. What a load of hooey. Any professional dieter knows that it doesn't matter what method you use to take the weight off. If you allow yourself to go back to your old ways, you WILL gain it back. DUH. It doesn't matter if it was doctor supervised, weight watchers, Jenny Craig, South Beach, or the chicken pot-pie diet. That kind of ignorance gets on my last nerve.

Sorry, didn't mean to hijack your blog. Keep up the great work and inspiration!
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Old 01-24-2014, 01:19 PM   #609
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Hey Z! I gotta say...I would pay to listen to you speak on the subject of HFLC, and life in general! Incredibly to the point (you cut that Gordian knot right quick!) as well as motivational.
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Old 02-05-2014, 05:13 AM   #610
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"We all impact the world in ways that we do not see. Our actions make ripples in the lives of those around us - and in the lives of those around them. Who knows?"

That's why everything we do matters. No man is an island.

Thank you for allowing us to observe your journey.
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Old 02-09-2014, 10:42 AM   #611
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Dropping in to say hiya!!! Hope all is well and look forward to reading your next journal entry!
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Old 02-15-2014, 06:58 AM   #612
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My first Valentine's day after the separation...

Normally this wouldn't mean anything to me - A prepackaged holiday pushed on us by fat-cat marketeers in an effort to traditionalize the pressure to buy chocolates, flowers and blood diamonds.

This time around, it's really shoving my failings in my face: I'm 37, childless, and alone with no prospects and no marketability to the opposite sex. Even after losing more than 100 pounds, fat is still fat. 350 or 245, I'm still too fat to be anything more than comic relief. Even if I can make it down to 175, that won't fix ugly, boring, or shy. I have nothing to offer the human race. I am an evolutionary dead end - a failed experiment. They say that people like confidence - but when you're ugly, confidence is called 'delusion'. A deluded fool is an amusement at best - and an annoyance at worst.

Whatever intellect I possess only serves to isolate me from the people around me. I can't even speak my own language with most people. I cannot communicate half of the things that run through my head without eliciting impersonations of Nipper the RCA dog from the people around me.

I'm not fishing for rebuttals here. This is my reality - the world as it has presented itself to me. No matter how much I lose, no matter how far I advance my career, no matter how fastidiously I maintain my external appearance - I have always been and will always be passed over.

I probably shouldn't post this. People have come to count on this thread for being an uplifting source of inspiration or some such thing... But it's not all conquered mountaintops and uplifting montages of triumph over adversity. It would be setting a false expectation if I were to pretend that I was happy.

People will often say, 'hang in there - it gets better'. No it doesn't. It never gets better. Not since any point in history that I can remember. Sometimes, I can do enough things at once to confuse my mind and push the tenebrous black tar of despondency under the surface - but it's always there. Waiting. Most days it's bearable. For the last few months, though, it's been getting worse.

I guess it doesn't matter. Sure, in the grand scheme of things nothing matters, but within a more local scope all that matters is that to which I ascribe value. It's getting harder to value anything.

Despite all of that, I do know this: The path to happiness isn't found at the bottom of a tub of ice cream, or at the far end of a wedge of pizza. Neither a bag of cheetos nor a pound of chocolates hold the key to my self-fulfillment.

My goal still stands: lose the excess weight and continue to improve my degree of fitness. 45 more pounds to lose before January 1. Feelings don't play a role in this. They can't. If I elected to backslide on my weight loss every time the overwhelming acrid stench of self-hatred and abject despair returned to me, I'd still be back where I started, two Octobers ago.

This will subside, though the root cause will persist.

Even when nothing matters I must adhere to my goals.
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Old 02-15-2014, 08:07 AM   #613
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((((HUGS)))) to you Z!! I won't say it will get better because I know that's not what you want to hear right now. Just know that we here at LCF love your personality and I know I am not the only one who finds you wildly funny, charming, and not all that bad looking
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Old 02-15-2014, 04:36 PM   #614
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Z, my friend (I consider you a friend)....big HUG!

I truly believe we are all on this earth not to see through one another, but to see each other through...I am sincerely sorry you are in emotional pain.

I don't think you're ugly at all; boring - uh, no; and you certainly don't seem shy, you've shared your life with us here .
I cannot and will not tell you what or how to think, but I WILL say I admire your candor, I absolutely enjoy your writing style - you tell it like it is, that's for sure.

What I WILL do is say a prayer for you (now, I ain't Bible bangin' here, nor am I attempting to steer you toward religion in any way shape or form ) but, it's obvious you are hurting, and I truly hope you feel better soon.
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"'Cause we're a loving couple...spanning time."
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Old 02-15-2014, 07:04 PM   #615
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Hugs..

I think your going thru a depression of sorts..poor me!
You've been thru a lot in a year.....
Weight loss
Two moves
Changing jobs twice
Separation

Your not ugly but you should smile more
(told you this before when you changed pictures)
No one is ugly..everyone has a different look.
It's "they" who say what you should look like
to be handsome or pretty. Their wrong.
Who are "they"?

I hope these feelings will pass soon for you.
You have a lot to offer..that's what I see/read and
also by others here too with your writings.
So happy that your still eating the right way
and not giving in. know you'll get where you want
by January.

Hang in there please, your worth it!

Last edited by BellaRose; 02-15-2014 at 07:06 PM..
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Old 02-15-2014, 07:14 PM   #616
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Childless or child free. Two different things. What is it you are looking for?

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Old 02-15-2014, 07:19 PM   #617
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Childless or child free. Two different things. What is it you are looking for?
Like I said - I am an evolutionary dead end. It is very much the biological imperative that is weighing on me right now.
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Old 02-15-2014, 07:28 PM   #618
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Also, thanks for your kind words. Maybe it's just the northwest climate getting to me again.

This will subside.
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Old 02-15-2014, 11:19 PM   #619
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I wrote this in order to document the whole journey. No matter do anything long enough and you hit rough patches. The important takeaway here is that no matter what life throws at me, I have to stay true to my goals.
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Old 02-15-2014, 11:29 PM   #620
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Yes..

Sometimes more rough patches then
we want. It's good your keeping a journel
of everything for yourself. Plus it helps
others too.

More power you for keeping to your goals.
A lot of us can't when we hit our rough
patches in life.

Keep up your good work.
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Old 02-16-2014, 10:18 AM   #621
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For what it's worth, Z, I think you are fabulous. I know those feelings of which you speak. Sometimes the internal monologue is vicious and defeating. I rarely post due to my lack of confidence in saying anything meaningful. But, I do read and especially follow your blog. So, thank you. Your honesty is refreshing and inspiring. Just know you are not alone on this journey. . . You have many fans here and we wish you well, always. Ps. I hope you keep singing and writing. You have a gift.
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Old 02-16-2014, 11:41 AM   #622
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For what it's worth, Z, I think you are fabulous. I know those feelings of which you speak. Sometimes the internal monologue is vicious and defeating. I rarely post due to my lack of confidence in saying anything meaningful. But, I do read and especially follow your blog. So, thank you. Your honesty is refreshing and inspiring. Just know you are not alone on this journey. . . You have many fans here and we wish you well, always. Ps. I hope you keep singing and writing. You have a gift.
Mountaingirl said everything I'd like to say although she's said it better than I ever could.

You are obviously enormously appealing...why else would so many of us have such great regard and affection for you? As mountain girl suggests, beware of that internal monologue. At least force yourself to keep it positive. Refuse to give power to the dark insecurities and negativity which tempt all of us at times.

I wonder if the time if year and the lack of sunlight is influencing your outlook right now. Sunlight and vitamin D are so important in the regulation of mood.
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Old 02-16-2014, 01:43 PM   #623
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I just read this and it made me think of you:

"I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being."
-Hafiz
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Old 02-16-2014, 03:41 PM   #624
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Z, Ive said before...come to NZ. Lots of girls over here looking for a smart man. Unless that avatar is of one of your mates, you are far from ugly. Shy I get, Im not a public person irl. I use forums to fill any small need I have for publicity

I think you're awesome and yeah, on a blog thats run for so long, theres going to be down time.

I cant help with the biological imperative. ..37 it still youngish tho. I have friends I their 40s starting a family.

People here appreciate you Z. Virtual kudos are not the same as irl ones, but they are no less true.
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Old 02-16-2014, 05:06 PM   #625
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"....you don't do heavy metal in Dubly, you know.."
"You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, the banister is lucky!"
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Old 02-16-2014, 05:13 PM   #626
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Z, Ive said before...come to NZ.
I'd have to learn the language first...

Kī tōnu taku waka topaki i te tuna

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Old 02-16-2014, 06:44 PM   #627
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I'm surprised you don't see yourself as good looking. I always thought your avatar looked like actor Raul Julia. He played Gomez Addams in the movie.

But it is hard to see yourself as other see you. I can talk the talk, but struggle to walk the walk myself.

Hope you find your mood on an upswing soon.
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Old 02-17-2014, 05:47 AM   #628
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Thanks for putting it all out there, Z. We all need to see that there are dark sides too. Not all rainbows and glitter here.
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Old 02-18-2014, 07:41 AM   #629
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For what it's worth, Z, I think you are fabulous. I know those feelings of which you speak. Sometimes the internal monologue is vicious and defeating. I rarely post due to my lack of confidence in saying anything meaningful. But, I do read and especially follow your blog. So, thank you. Your honesty is refreshing and inspiring. Just know you are not alone on this journey. . . You have many fans here and we wish you well, always. Ps. I hope you keep singing and writing. You have a gift.
Dear Z...
Do you realize how many people you have already touched in your life? Look at the thousands here already! You post your feelings: 'the good, bad, and ugly' where most of us do not have the cojones to do so. I've been following you for some time; and enjoy your writing style and sense of humor! Women abhor stupid men, and my dear, you are NOT! What you have posted, I have already lived through.....you WILL succeed, and I know you don't believe this: your dreams are going to come true, because you are changing the direction of your old, well-traveled path. The internal dialogue for all of us, is full of self doubt, loathing, and negativity. I pose a question for you: if you were your own BFF, what would you say?
My opinion doesn't matter to you, either! It shouldn't, as what matters most, is how we value ourselves. Remember Cher in Moonstruck: 'snap out of it!' 8) WE NEED YOU, YOUR INTELLIGENCE, HUMOR, YOUR CUTE FACE. Makes me wish I weren't 55, as I would sure like to meet you.
YOU ROCK!
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Old 02-18-2014, 11:16 AM   #630
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Santa Monica CA
Posts: 6,860
Gallery: SuzanneM
Stats: 155/127/125
WOE: LC
Hi Z,
I came across your journal yesterday and I had to read from start to finish
it's a very awe inspiring journey you've been on and I applaud your authenticity every step of the way.
Every eating disordered person faces their own demons every day, whether it's 20 or 200lbs they are fighting with. I c/p a couple of your messages that resonated with me, to help me with my own journey - thank you.

Hope your rainy day has cleared and you have once again found your'e commitment and ambition for your life.
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