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sbarr 10-02-2012 11:01 AM

My Little Corner
Time to start writing it down and tracing the progress. Rather than a blog or something else, I think I will give this a try. Not sure if the intent is daily or weekly or whenever. Maybe its just when I have something to say.

So, if anyone does wander by, perhaps a bit of an introduction:

My name is Sandra, single mom with an awesome little girl named Lindsey who will play a role in this journaling because shes the most important person in my life, more important than myself - damn, that old self-pity monster.

Quite a bit of experience with LC, having gone from 203 to 137 (2005-2007), again from 209 to 183 (in 2011) and now, in 2012. Funny thing about eating LC, if anyone were to say, youll gain the weight back my response to that I sure will I learned that lesson. It really goes down to what you can do ongoing.
  • Goal: 135 (college weight, almost made it in 2007 and looked great)
  • Current weight: 215 (OK, here, I admit it, now its hidden, not in my profile)
  • Next milestone: 209 (This is significant because it was my previous starting weight and I easily got down to 183, and it had been my previous high, as well as it was a resistance plateau I used to be able to stay under)
  • Feeling: Mixed, optimistic about weight, but concerned about work stresses.
  • Physical: The worst thing in the world happened to me Sunday, which is what really inspired me to start MONDAY a combination of sore back, weight and short arms made it hard to put on one of my socks and I had to ask Lindsey to help me. That was truly my tipping point I was horrified. A mother should never ask her 4 yo daughter to help put on a sock.
  • For Today: Buy canned pumpkin to make LC pumpkin bake and think of a way to incorporate recipes into a little cookbook for Mommy and Lindsey. I think will use this as opportunity to create something like recipe collection of things that we both enjoy that are LC.

In addition to weight, really want to stay aware of mental, physical, and then of course for today may be a way to make a little resolution or promise or something.

I think back when I was losing at how inspired I was by people who had amazing before and after pictures. I also remember at my midpoint of weight loss, I think, that I wished I had a picture of where I started. Now why is it that I'm no so keen on a fat picture now. Oh yes, that's because I'm currently "fat".

Ill have Lindsey take a picture tonight as my official baseline shes only 4, so she wont be scarred for life. Actually, having a 4 year old at this part of the journey will be good. Lindsey won't care - she'll be thrilled that Mommy actually DOES want her picture taken for once.

I want to find a way to chronicle weight loss pictures in some type of format that is easily accessible to whomever I give access. Anyone have any ideas? Ideally, Id like to have a link for picture progress that I could modify along the way. I think true progress or success will be when Im ready to show my first picture. Not today!

Anyways, that seems like enough for now. Looking forward to the day when the sock incident is funny. It has the makings for a funny anecdote. Not today.

Wait, can't end on a negative note, too many not today, what IS today - what is good? Picking up Lindsey from school in a couple of hours and then we go swimming and trying a new dish with her!

eterprincess 10-02-2012 03:53 PM

Hi Sandra, my name is Janna. I am restarting low carb as well. Went from 215 to 175 from October to January 2004-2005, then gained it all back. I am trying really hard to stay on track, first full day so far is today. I look forward to hearing about your journey!

sbarr 10-02-2012 05:28 PM

Fat Mom sighted at pool - news at 11
:eek: News Alert - Fat mom in orange tankini sighted at pool! Parents remain clothed, lined against the wall - young children in water. YMCA staff stay in pool for the safety of the children.

I guess I can laugh about it, reluctantly. Even at this weight I still wear my bathing suit twice a week to go with Lindsey to the YMCA pool for swim lessons. I think of so many people who have posted saying they dont wear swimming suits because of weight (or dont do something because of weight) and are missing out on things with their children. I have vowed to never let that happen. So, I put on my suit, hop in the pool with her before swimming lessons and afterwards I sit in my wet swimsuit with clothed parents to watch lessons. Of course there are two mothers from Lindsey's school who both recognized me. Of course they're slender. Of course, one of the ladies' sons has tennis and soccer lessons after school with Lindsey.

Not a pretty sight, but its something special I do with Lindsey before her swimming lessons. Thats the one thing Ive tried to remember even though my weight ballooned I will not deprive my child of enjoyment with her mother just because of body self-consciousness. She doesnt care that Im fat, shes just happy that mommy gets in the pool with her. Shes also the one who is happy to take pictures of me. She did take pictures of me tonight, fortunately not in an orange Tankini.

Now maybe that will be the day, when she takes a picture of me in a swimsuit. Hell, I'm still licking wounds from the sock incident.

:hiya: Hi Janna - very similar stats, both current and goal - hang in there. Maybe we'll both be ready for swimsuits by next summer!

AsmallerME 10-02-2012 06:11 PM

Hi Sandra! I remember you from back in the day! Welcome back! Your daughter is beautiful.

sbarr 10-07-2012 12:09 PM

Smooth sailing, a little bored - maybe a good thing
Had a good week, - 3 for the week (actually, since Monday)
  • 212 with lightweight nightshirt on Saturday (Tanita showed some moderate dehydration)
  • Feeling moderate emotionally
  • Physical, better, starting to do some stretching, belly not so bloated
  • Today making pumpkin bake with Lindsey and a neighbors kids, shopping for good cooking this week (I usually just shop once a week)
  • Eating pretty good, just had avocado with Tabasco and olive oil and a bit of sea salt and also had some LC fried chicken from last night, appetite low
  • Exercise starting at the gym tomorrow, thinking about rotating between aerobic/weights and swimming.
  • Special Treat - hot tea with HWC and some Stevia, just having something warm to drink has really made the difference this week
  • Challenge staying motivated when it seems almost tedious, but tedium is far better than ravenous pacing of the kitchen

Irony - I feel like I was trying to skew the numbers upwards to accommodate the fast loss this week (typical low carb honeymoon). So, while it hinted at 211 this morning, meaning a drop of 4# from Monday, I deliberately ignored it, knowing thats carb bloat and Im putting it in the bank for when the weight loss slows down. Funny, after having been aware of carbs for over 7 years now, Im probably the OPPOSITE of so many people that are saying yeahhhhhh, lost 4# my first week when I know thats just carb bloats. Im very cautious and wish I could just give back the #s and save them for a bad week.

Started my weight loss chart I projected weight loss progress, base on how I lost at those decades (ex. 160s), I was pretty conservative, and will most likely reach goal the end of next year. Maybe it will go faster, some decades went really fast, like a month or so while others took a long time and the lower the slower.

I think the actual worst number, and I even cringe at it more than the starting weight, is the # pounds to lose until I get there. It just seems pathetic 80!! WTH!

I really do need to hit some milestones where I can feel some enthusiasm the best I can think of right now is when I can start wearing clothes from my storage bins. I placed them according to weight as I gained while pregnant with Lindsey, so I have a Rubbermaid type bin for each decade, starting with the 170s down to the 140's. Unfortunately, until then, nothing to really get excited about, but then maybe that is good. Maybe this doesnt need to be exciting or be the most important part of my life, just a better eating.

No what to do until February when I hit the 70's. :dunno:

Off to go read some posts for motivation and collect more recipes specifically for fairly low carb protein bars for Lindsey that she can take in her lunches and what I can make during the week for either of us to eat.

julieboolie 10-07-2012 11:04 PM

:hiya: Sandra- Not sure if you remember me!! It's good to see you posting and on track!! Your dd is lovely!! Congrats!!

sbarr 10-08-2012 07:28 AM

Hi Julie - sure do....you're stats are great, love your picture. Seems like a lifetime ago that I was trying to kick those last 10 to the curb. I'd break my toe now. Or my foot, or my leg. Ah well....

Scale is still being good - not sure why I'm so leery that the rug is going to be jerked out from under my feet. Trusty Tanita pulls me back with the fat composition percentage - otherwise, I'd be very enthusiastic (hinted at 209), now I'm starting to get some fire under my tush. If it holds for tomorrow, I think I'm going to do a flat out dash for 199 and leave it all behind me. Is this what motivation is all about? Maybe that's why I was somewhat bored since I hated the numbers.

No, this journal is good, I just read first post why 209 was significant (previous high, resistance plateau when gaining - I could always stay below it). I just need to make it stick.
  • Emotionally - a bit anxious about upcoming work stresses, but need to take control over that, also. The control needs to be internal but show externally. Despite some toxic work environment issues, I need to find a way to not let it get to me and definitely to not let it show.
  • Physical - a bit tired, but trying to get some things wrapped up so that I can go to the gym today (maybe if I can make that 209 stick then the dash will go well)
  • Eating - just not hungry, but have some good things around the house including pumpkin bake, cheesecake muffins, parmesan fried chicken
  • Exercise - gym, da**, yes, go to the gym - there, I wrote it down

Actually, seeing what I wrote above, about the 3 foods in the fridge is important. First time downward, I was so excited about the recipes that I'd try a new one and then enthusiastically eat it. Now, the food enthusiasm is gone - parmesan fried chicken, puleez, that is so 2006. :rolleyes: I like it though. :yummy: But, it's just another nice thing to have around. Same with the other two, which normally I'd nibble and nibble and nibble. Now muffins are in freezer, and the others in the fridge without the huge sense of "anticipation". I know what they taste like.

Maybe that is the epiphany for today - "I know what it tastes like so why the excitement". I can almost envision being out at dinner, not finishing something, preferring the conversation. Now that's a joke since Lindsey is my steady dinner date (exciting life it is!!). A gal can dream, though, can't she?

sbarr 10-09-2012 10:06 AM

Quote for the day:

Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you, and be silent. (Epictetus, Greek philosopher)

To the jokester deity, please explain why unexpected intestinal problems suddenly started when I got to the gym yesterday. Granted, the two trips downstairs while on elliptical was a face-saving interruption to catch my breath, but ....still.

Yes, made it to the gym, but not at the level of intensity I would like. But, maybe this was a little - you go girl that I needed for encouragement. See next paragraph.

All I can say is WOW! The scale showed 208 - and I was hoping for 209 to stick and here little old 208 knocked it off its chair and Tanita fat composition didn't show too much dehydration, the morning always shows the highest fat because of hydration level. :kicking:

OK, now back to reality - that must have been a heck of a lot of carb bloat to drop 7 since a week ago Monday. This is the honeymoon period, but no complaints. I could gladly honeymoon for the next 30#, thank you very much. I'm almost ready to gnaw off my arm to get to the 180's (another significant milestone), which was my common adult weight. It's not pretty, but it's human and I have some nice clothes down there.

Actually, these last 10 or so came on in past few months as a result of a change in medication. The old medication is gone, so are most of those pounds.

Today is swim day - I'll go swimming with Lindsey and won't feel quite as bloated.
Mini rant time - in my private little corner. I have a neighbor, with 3 children, 2 are obese, 1 is chubby. She's delightful, cares for her children a great deal. She is extremely overweight, and diabetic and is well aware of carbs and sugars. We occasionally talk about blood sugar, carbs, so I know she's aware/educated on the issue. I invited them over to make LC pumpkin bake. She brought a cake over for the kids (that's fine - I had made popcorn for the movie but, no worries - a treat is a treat and I never make waves over occasional treats for kids).

Her 8 yo son cut the pieces of cake - huge pieces for the kids. Lindsey grabs hers, and mows through it. It's an exception, but that's fine. I felt bad watching a 22 mo old toddler be fed 2 pieces of cake, and offered more. This poor boy is so heavy, he walks bowlegged and gets rashes in the creases in his thighs. I think what bothered me most, beyond the unnecessary cake for all of the kids, was seeing this poor toddler offered more and more cake. After Lindsey's birthday earlier this year, my ex's sister said that she thought it was abuse to allow the child to get that fat. I just saw her offering more and more cake and mentally :stars: as to why one would subject a child to a body that will give him social and health issues for life.

I didn't say anything and never would (who needs a sanctimonious b*****, who is LC for a week to butt in about how one is feeding her own child). I would never presume to say anything about how she feeds her children and would be extremely touchy if someone did that to me.

But OMG, why oh why would an educated, morbidly obese diabetic offer more and more cake to an adorable, but ROUND little boy who doesn't know better (when she herself was pretty much abstaining except for a few nibbles). Why would you feed your child WORSE than you eat yourself? Didn't say a word, as I would leave that to the child's pediatrician because I do think he's headed for Type II by kindergarten. Even when I was gaining and gaining, I always made sure that Lindsey ate healthy.

That's really a sore point for me - that we as parents should be teaching our children the right behaviors while we still have positive influence in their lives. I think teaching good eating habits is as important as good manners. I can understand if one is ignorant about carbs and that is how one is eating, then feeding the child the same, but to overfeed a child just seems so wrong.

Some background - Lindsey is 4. I've been very carb-conscious about food in the house since she was born. http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/ma...-children.html. I'm aware of what she eats, I weigh her about once a month and she's spot on the chart where her weight % = height % exactly.

Poor Lindsey did not inherit skinny parents, so the best gift I can give her is to hopefully have normal weight through her childhood and learn to like healthy food, make good choices and learn portion control and to stop when full. We also stay active with swimming lessons twice a week and she has 3 physical lessons a week at school (tennis, yoga and soccer) to see where her interests lie. It might sound like a lot, but it's just once a day (2 on Thursdays), classes are 30-45 minutes and incorporated into the after-school program so it's a seamless transition in her day. I want her to be fit and active.

I don't demonize treats, but have other things out and it's for her to choose. If we're out to eat, her choice, if we at someone else's house, her choice, if someone brings food into the house to share, her choice. When I'm serving meals or snacks at home or doing shopping - MY options, her choice from my options. Not to worry, there are also chips and cookies in the house, but I don't offer them, she asks.

Enough complications in this world for kids growing up, last thing she needs is body issues. I'm not sure why - but the kids at her school are all average weight. I cannot think of a single obese child in the entire school.

We shop at the local food co-op, so there are very limited options and I've stressed whole food, primarily organic - "no chemicals" (in 4 yo speak). Hopefully this will giver her a bit of a bias towards healthy eating as she grows up. That said, I do buy bulk Pirates Booty chips in small single serve bags.

I won't even go into the Bento box lunch kit I pack each night ... :laugh:

So far she regulates herself pretty well. Fruit and veggies are as desired. All treats limited to 2. Trying to incorporate more cheese and nuts for protein and fat. Usually milk to drink. I'm relieved she often stops in the middle of what she is eating and says she's done. Fine, totally fine. She's never expected to eat everything on her plate, etc. She's never offered seconds unless it's protein or veggies :laugh: Treats are limited to 2 cookies or whatever or a small bowl of something. (Sidenote - I think that is what gets to me most - is OFFERING seconds, thirds or or more even when the child isn't asking).

I'm happy to say - we have a very good rhythm in the house - 90% healthy food in the house (with a few exceptions), no food control issues and general good eating for both of us. My big problem was the late night delivery or takeout which is never something I fed to Lindsey. She's been pretty oblivious, although within a year, I am sure she'd pick up on the differences of our respective eatings. Again, I'd say this time to lose weight is my golden opportunity. This is the time to get to normal weight and eat healthy by the time my child notices.

So that's the context of why it really pains me to see a child be offered more and more cake and my private little rant. :cry:

sbarr 10-09-2012 11:47 AM

Writing this down before I laugh too much. Just read a thread in Main Lobby about exercise. Yes, it's the right thing to do, but no, it's not going to make me lose weight.

The weights for muscle tone and strength
The swimming for tone
The elliptical will be so I can outrun a zombie in sprint without panting

I don't know why this visual actually has me laughing aloud. Maybe it comes from some late night lurking and seeing a thread about emergency preparedness and one of the most salient points was - can you walk a few miles to get water? Right now I'd be able to walk it (might have to rest before coming back). I need some more body strength for carrying things. The clincher - I'd be hard put to do much more than a 25 yards if a zombie was chasing me without getting winded.

Yes, that's it

Diet to lose weight
Exercise to look good, carry things and be able to outrun a zombie in a sprint :rofl:

sbarr 10-12-2012 07:57 AM

Scale popped back up again - I know it's not the eating, but water. I've been well under 50 carbs/day, some days probably below 20. I'm not counting beyond that each dish be under 10-20 grams. I feel like I'm the most successful when it's "rule of thumb", not hard carb and calorie counting.

Weight - 210, but still ahead of schedule for 2# per week. I am completely confident that I'll be at 208 next week and 206 the week after, etc. I am striving for 2# per week until 185 and then 1.5/1.2 gradual slowing until 150 or so, then 1# per week until 142 and then down to .5 # per week. I'm gauging this based on my loss rate the last time down. Some different factors include having had a baby back in 2008 and being 6 years older, but this is the best I can estimate at this point. Seems a bit disheartening that I won't reach goal until Dec. 28, 2013, but I will be in the normal zone, which I'd classify as 170 by the end of March.

I'm struggling with the thought of upcoming holidays. I want to be successful with moderation and intuitive eating, but I do know that holidays can be a slippery slope. Something in me just wants to take a 5# bag of chia seeds with me for Thanksgiving and XMas and eat the chia seeds for all meals except the big Thanksgiving meal and Christmas meals, no limitations during those except being full. Granted, I can balance it out with naturally LC dishes, but even those I'd want to limit to the meal.

As an example, my sister always has things like candies and cookies out. Last year, she had some wonderful trail mix, with nuts, fruit, M&M's and I would go back and graze and graze. I'm more at risk with something I can grab walking by. The easier it is to grab while walking by, the easier it is to graze.

Maybe it's that I will only eat off a plate - and that it be a full dinner plate. Sounds a bit like reverse of using smaller plates to make the food seem larger, but in this case, I'd feel downright silly with a big dinner plate and 2 cookies or a handful of trail mix.

I think I might be onto something - only eat what I'll put on a full-size dinner plate unless I know it's < 5 grams of carbs, like maybe a veggie tray. Putting an oreo on a dinner plate sounds pathetic, but maybe that's the point. Maybe the plate must be hand-washed and dried between servings.

Anyways, not sure what I'm going to be doing with all of this, but it's an interesting thought. I'm not getting fat because of a couple of sit down holiday meals, but I do overeat during holidays because of the slippery slope.

julieboolie 10-12-2012 08:46 AM

Good rant on the kids. I was that kid. My mom has been morbidly obese all her adult life and taught me to be the same. Overeating, baked good abound, portions? the bigger the better. Sigh. Even now she tried to fatten up my children. My dd(12) has inherited my ability to store lbs quickly and easily. Although she's a good eater - healthy choices (tomatoes are her favorite food), she confuses hunger and boredom. With long, hot, summers and too much inside sedentary time, she's up more than she should be. Sigh. We're LCers, but I allow popcorn, cereal and a few higher carb options as well. Dd(9) and dh are GF which is a good place to start as a family. Overall, we all eat healthy. But when we dine out, french fries are the indulgence of choice for dd and dh. I encourage them to make good healthy choices, but once in a while, I allow them to indulge. I don't want them to rebound and gorge. Sigh. I dont' want to pass my food issues on to my kids.

But, with all we've learned and are learning about healthy LC eating and regular exercise (making it part of our lives) they'll be way ahead of their peers. :)

You're doing great. You can only set a good example for your neighbor and offer healthy options to her kids. Hopefully they'll watch her better choices and do well overall. It's really sad/hard/awkward. :hugs:

sbarr 10-12-2012 09:39 AM

Julie - that is exactly what I meant. You put it much nicer and less condemning and sanctimonious. Your situation growing up is exactly what is happening to this poor family. I hate seeing parent PUSH or ENCOURAGE unhealthy food, especially second servings or more.

Thanksgiving - you gotta try Grandma's pecan pie.....fine, once a year, it is special treat, no bid deal. Now if the child has eaten a piece of Grandma's pie, there is no reason to push a second piece.

I think what bothered me most was this was a cheap store-bought cake that didn't taste good.

My house sounds pretty much the same as yours - I have the other food around, but it's an exception and I would not offer a cookie, but would allow 2, if requested. 2 is the daily limit of whatever food that needs moderation.

Hypocrite time to justify my own behaviors - I do buy expensive dark chocolate. If I'm nibbling a couple of small squares, I offer her some (a couple of small squares) to enjoy and also model portion control and that it's a treat, not the meal. I don't offer her more, I fold up the paper and put the bar in a top cupboard.

Again, this is my little corner, I'm allowed to be a hypocrite to define the situation so I look smarter or better, but still..... I just hate seeing adults pressure kids to eat more food. :sad:

sbarr 10-15-2012 01:20 PM

So many starts and stops, and then I lose it when I need to refresh for login and password. :(

Oh well, if I can't remember, it's not necessarily worth repeating - if it's important, I'll remember.

Moving at a slow steady clip
  • Total lost since 1-Oct: 6#
  • Current Weight: 209 on Saturday - it's gonna stick, well, never mind, it didn't....was 210 this morning, but 209 is the official weekly weight
  • Emotionally: still anxious about work, but I sent out a feeler on a job transfer that would be a very very good fit
  • Physical: so so, will go to the gym tomorrow and also swim with Lindsey
  • Eating: Good - I think I have down what it takes to lose at this weight, meaning it might not be good enough to lose from 150 to 140, but I'll deal with THAT problem when I get there. :laugh: I've enjoyed several of the recipe posts, but haven't gone whole hog over anything.
  • What do I want to remember from this weight: I'm still embarrassed at my lack of flexibility, not being able to easily pick things up off the floor. There, I said it....*sigh* Between a sore lower back and just general lack of flexibility, I can't do what I want as quickly as I want to. Another thing, after many hours of my feet both Saturday and Sunday, they hurt. I'm sure this is attributed to weight - aches in my feet from walking. I forget the weight my feet stopped hurting last time.
  • Exercise: Go to the gym tomorrow! I promise!
  • Special no carb treat: Hot Roastaroma tea with HWC and a couple of drops of stevia (this is a Celestial Seasonings smoky blend that fits with the autumn weather)
  • To cook today - Dottie's Pumpkin Cake with Lindsey or Lauren's awesome black bean cake (I'm trying to cut more sugar out of the house)

Changes for the week: Started the bulletproof coffee and liking it. I am combining it with Jay Robb Vanilla and a raw egg (basically BP coffee meets the egg cream). I need to find the MCT oil to round it out.

I want to add chia seeds to my morning to see how much it will help cut back the appetite. Most important, I'm trying to find something to really CUT the desire to eat for when I'm visiting family over Thanksgiving and XMas. I know I have a tendency to graze and want to try to nip that in the bud by finding something easily prepared and eaten for breakfast that will make it so I don't want to nibble holiday goodies, but do want to have special dinners when I'm there.

Overall, just pretty content with what I'm doing - and got a very nice compliment at Lindsey's school fall festival. People just couldn't quite figure it out - and I didn't say carb bloats are gone and I did my hair differently. I just smiled. I'll mention the low carb when it's truly obvious that I've lost, which should be by next month. Until then, just a smile.

This picture won't load to my profile, so just thought I'd share a nice picture of me and Lindsey at the fall festival.


sbarr 10-22-2012 11:47 AM

Slow going but a great new breakfast
Ugh - Saturday was 209 again, it's creeping a bit lower today but still a struggle. I may have to start doing some tweaking and dropping some carbs to get started again.

My new big thing is Bulletproof egg cream coffee BPECC - I make it every morning and at first it didn't seem to impact appetite, but now I seem to have settled into it and I was a bit anxious this morning, when I didn't have butter, but just used heavy cream instead. Tomorrow will be the first day I have every ingredient. I go downstairs, start the coffee, melt the butter, put it all in a bullet-type mixer and drink while getting Lindsey ready. Interestingly enough, today I woke up before the alarm for the first time in a long time. Not sure if related, but I know I can slam these bulletproof egg cream coffees 7 days a week with zero effort or reluctance. It's really no different than having a couple of cups of coffee. Ideally, this should become the de facto standard no-brainer instead of coffee, both at home and when visiting family over the holidays.

16 oz coffee
2 oz unsalted grass-fed butter
1 T MCT oil
2 raw eggs
1 scoop of Jay Robb

Second big thing is chia seeds with HWC, cinnamon and a bit of Stevia. I'm working on the amount, but I'm shooting for about 2 ounces of dry seeds and about 2 cups of water as a mid-day type of meal. This makes a big bowl of chia seeds. Objective was to kill daytime appetite, but may scale back on quantity if I continue to stick at current weight.

Oh yes, also getting into a mid-day tuna salad - will probably alternate between the chia and the tuna salad. I'd probably explode with both. :laugh:

Overall, things are going well with the eating - I haven't blown it badly at all. Saturday, another neighbor's birthday party - ended up eating the bottom half of a couple of slices (I did eat about 30% of the crust on each piece, then scraped the topping off with my fingers and then popped it quickly in the trash. I'm not going to let days like that get to me - I did exactly what I think I should have done, vortex of the pizza slice then mostly toppings. Had a few chips, but just kept refilling water. Honestly, if I can get to that stage whenever eating away from home, I'll have it made.

New Vitamins introduced:

Finally got my big order of vitamins, so have added these on top of a good whole-food multivitamin (actually, 3 green horse pills):

Fish Oil

Total lost since 1-Oct: 6#
Current Weight: 209 on Saturday
Emotionally: very optimistic about job prospects. I have 4 hours of internal interviews tomorrow to see which leader is interested and would be the best fit. I need a level of trust and autonomy that isn't in my current role, as well as the chance to leverage my key skills (technical and analytical, rather than rote project management)
Physical: Not bad, haven't been to the gym, but have been swimming with Lindsey.
Eating: Good - Shopping budget has gone through the ceiling with eggs and butter and I'm getting ready to submit an order for about 100# beef and pork from a NY farmer that I trust.
What do I want to remember from this weight: Ugh, still not much, but getting more flexible, but maybe that is due to more stretching
Exercise: Go to another gym to get rid of the excuse of the fact that I don't like the weights at the close one

To cook today - Tuna steak with ginger and tamari.

Changes for the week: Try to get to sleep earlier in the evening to see if I can wake up more quickly in the morning. Continue with the BPECC and just let it ride...282

sbarr 10-27-2012 12:42 PM

Slow and steady.

New motto: If I'm not hungry and it's not a meal, then don't eat it even if it's LC.

The scale has wavered much of the week, from 205.8 (waving my arms and holding my breath) to 207. Today was 206.6 - 206.8, but I'm going to round up in case I need that extra in the bank.
  • Total lost since 1-Oct: 8#
  • Current Weight: 207 on Saturday (that puts me at my 2# for the week, which is right on schedule, but little buffer to keep up the 2# per week until mid-January) when I go to 1.5 # per week and then March when I go to 1.2 # per week and July when I slow down to 1# per week. I might go faster, maybe slower, but this is pretty conservative.
  • Emotionally: Optimistic - 5 hours of good interviews (in 4 departments), including one 2nd interview. I think it's just which one is the best fit.
  • Physical: Feeling a bit bloated from the chia seeds, but that's fine - a day without 2 oz of hydrated chia (makes about 2-3 cups of chia "pudding) and I drop a pound, which makes sense.
  • Eating: Very good - Bulletproof egg coffee every morning, lunch has been either big bowl of chia or tuna salad with lots of mayo, some onion and pickles and dinner has varied.
  • What do I want to remember from this weight: Nothing different than the past few weeks, which is fine - I think I need to get another 10-15# down before I can feel some real differences.
  • Exercise: I haven't - but, I'm OK with that I know I should, and will probably try the new gym further away tomorrow since Lindsey is with her dad.
  • To cook today - I already made faux buttermilk biscuits with butter and a bit of peach jam. Ate 1.

Lindsey didn't eat hers so I wrapped it up. This was big for me - even when i LC mode, I used to graze or snack a bit, so I was pleased with myself for being mindful of feeling full after my BPEC and faux biscuit during the morning and even though the other biscuit would be on plan, I'm just not inclined to eat it - maybe will have with my dinner or have it tomorrow. Wow - sounds silly, but this is definitely new for me, esp. with LC foods that it wouldn't matter if I did eat it - I am just full.
Biggest accomplishment for the week: Having a lot of carby food in the house and not being at all interested (everything from cheese puff chips, oreo type cookies, Halloween candy, M&M's, even my nice dark chocolate) and really not having any interest. The other biggie - I'm throwing away the last of the pumpkin pound cake - I just never got around to eating it and it's been almost 2 weeks. So, whether it's high carb or low carb, I'm just not partaking beyond my regular mealtime consumption.

This is probably my biggest improvement this round - no snacking. Many eating plans have some things in common, some different. What it hitting home with me is from the Paleo approach that makes perfect sense to me - no snacking. As we evolved, we didn't sit around eating several small meals, but most likely was a big breakfast and big dinner and then the rest of the day out hunting. So, I'm using the Bulletproof egg coffee as the foundation for the day, staying very low carb for lunch (the tuna or chia could be a standard even when I go back to work) and then dinner.

Wow, almost the end of the month - I think I'm going to use the last day of the month as my time to read everything I've written during the month and reflect. I haven't necessarily come very far this month, but I have many more years in my life3.13

sbarr 10-28-2012 07:13 AM

Had a nice visit this morning - my neighbor from across the street came over for some bulletproof egg coffee. She's the kindest, most gentle soul, but has just been overwhelmed with the whole weight loss aspect. She could lose 125-150#, but even 75-100# would make a world of difference.

She was so enthusiastic - had been asking about what I'm doing (says the loss really shows). I was quite clear about it being LC (being diabetic, she is very aware of the impact on blood sugar) so zero push back on the carb front.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've shared black bean cake, pumpkin bake, pumpkin pound cake, faux buttermilk biscuits - just the same way any neighbor would share something baked and it's given her lots of ideas. Basically from the perspective, hey, this is what I'm doing, I've been practicing with recipes and since Lindsey is only 4, I always have extras. Not to say that it's all about baking dessert, but any of these are more LC than mainstream goodies. Not like I can pop over with tuna salad in a bowl to sample. :)

She came over early - I whirled up my bulletproof egg coffee and served it to her.

16 oz coffee
2 T. unsalted grass-fed butter
1 T. MCT oil
2 eggs
1 scoop of Jay Robb

We sat at the table drinking it - and she was marveling at how full she felt.

I'm NOT one to push LC, I'm straightforward that it is what I do - I'm happy to talk about it and share recipes with anyone who is interested in the same way that one would talk about any food.

She left with a french press coffee carafe, a bag of chia seeds to make chia pudding for lunch - my other mainstay for appetite control.

I hope this really works for her - I'm now 100% convinced that this bulletproof egg coffee is a winner, especially for people who are either busy and/or don't like to eat breakfast, especially early in the morning. Now I need to clean up some dishes so I can take over some MCT Oil for her to hold her over for the next several days. If I can set her up with the ingredients for a week's worth of coffee, she'll have it made and can decide if this works for her.

Thinking about it - I'd probably recommend the coffee recipe to anyone, regardless of whether trying to lose weight - this is really a keeper. Definitely a conversation starter - a team member at Trader Joe's asked me if I wanted a cart when I was juggling 4 blocks of Kerry Gold and a dozen eggs, we started talking and I told her about bulletproof coffee. Same with the mother of Lindsey's classmate at gymnastics (we were talking about morning routines).

Interestingly enough, I'm not getting - Oooohhhh, raw eggs, ick. More like - hmmmm, interesting, what was the name again.

sbarr 11-02-2012 08:35 AM

Ugh, seems to be sticking at 207. I haven't eaten poorly - but, it's just not going anywhere, but I can gauge progress by how much easier to pull in my stomach.

That motivational spreadsheet of 2# per week is not so appealing right now. I wonder if I need to reconsider 2# per week through mid-January. I'm still eager to reach goal at end of next year, but it requires ongoing regular loss, which averaged over the entire year of 1.2 # per week. That is still a pretty good pace, especially when I get lower - I have planned for 0.5# per week.

That said - 8# for current month isn't too bad, but I hope to keep same rate for the next 2 months.

Still enjoying the Bulletproof egg coffee and lunch today was tuna salad with EVOO, mayo, chopped onion and a boiled egg. This will be interesting to see my blood work at my physical next Spring with all of this fat and oil. :)

sbarr 11-12-2012 01:00 PM

Ugh, back at 209, so I suspect this is going to be slow going, especially with the holidays - tomorrow is a pre-Thanksgiving pot luck - I'm making pumpkin bake and will provide an ingredient list for colleagues as a courtesy - seems to be more common these days that pot luck dishes include ingredients. I'm figuring the best I can do is stay with the coffee in the morning, maybe a bowl of chia seeds mid-morning and then pick through the pot luck.

Hmmmmm, maybe the hydrated chia seeds mid-morning to experiment to see how they will work over Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I'm a bit bored and discouraged, but I guess I can view this as what maintenance will be like, nothing to be excited about, but nothing to really regret.

Total lost since 1-Oct: 6#
Current Weight: 209 on Saturday. Have definitely lost my momentum, but this past week has been out of whack. My ex had surgery and his family was in town and I ate over there a couple of nights and then out to dinner at a pizza place last night. I did not eat poorly considering the choices, but the weight is up again.
Emotionally: Optimistic - just waiting on job offer and will probably transition by end of month.
Physical: Wish it were easier to stoop and pick things up - really need to work on stretches - I'm seeing that it's not just weight, more of a lack of flexibility.
Eating: Except for meals with ex and his family, I did fine. Each day, I was able to jump right back with my Bulletproof egg coffee to "reset". Today, BP egg coffee, then eggs with bacon, sausage for breakfast at ex's house (gawd, 3 meals, plus out to dinner twice in the past week, no wonder the weight hasn't budged). But, this was pretty extreme example of a chaos week where excluding meals outside the house, was pretty god.
What do I want to remember from this weight: Nothing new.
Exercise: Zilch, but not beating myself up over it.
To cook today: Pumpkin Bake for tomorrow's pot luck. Dinner will be shredded Mexican style chicken with cheese and a LC tortilla, might scrap the tortilla because of last night's pizza.

Wait a minute - MAJOR accomplishment. There has been a big bag of Halloween candy in the house, chocolate bars, everything - and it's all the "good stuff". I haven't really been tempted. Lindsey gets 4 pieces a day and I'm not even tempted. I think in the week plus since Thanksgiving, I've had maybe 3 small things. Oh yes, and lots of carby food in the house, not interested. OK, OK, need to pat myself on the back - this is really how I'd want to be in maintenance. I'll think of the past couple of weeks as maintenance practice.

Phranquie 11-27-2012 10:51 PM

Sandra, I have enjoyed reading your journal entries. How did you fare over the Thanksgiving holiday?

julieboolie 11-28-2012 10:01 AM

Hang in there. The scale is a bugger! I think there may be some added fiber bulk from the chia? Great job sharing w. your neighbor! :up: Holiday time is the hardest. I consider maintaining through the holidays a victory, myself! :D

sbarr 11-28-2012 05:08 PM

Frankie and Julie, thanks for checking on me. Thanksgiving week went very well - I didn't lose, but except for Thanksgiving Day itself, I did very well. Bunless burger on the day I arrived in Albuquerque (went out to eat with my mother and her caretaker). Other days, I did fine - basically staying with the Bulletproof egg coffee and chia seeds and one meal. Thanksgiving - I had it all, but that's fine - it's a special family holiday and I was pleased that the pecan pie didn't taste as good as I hoped. I'm guessing I could make a SF version that would be quite respectable. Flight back from New Mexico to New York, I did fine - for many years, I've used travel day to be a fasting day.

As much as I'm sold on LC, I am struggling. I'm beginning to wonder how much the extra calories from the BP coffee is impacting things. (4 T butter, 2 eggs, 1 T. MCT Oil and 1 scoop of Jay Robb = 800 calories!!!) :eek: I still think it's the right thing to start off the day both physically and mentally, but maybe I should cut back on the butter. The coffee really does hold me until evening, so I'd love to get to a system where I'd have the Bulletproof egg coffee and then a responsible dinner.

Oh yes, another thing I'm proud of - I bought some white chocolate M&M's back before Halloween and in a bit of impulsiveness, I opened the bag last night - took a large handful and dumped the rest in the toilet. Done. :up:

Sigh, so now the frustration - I'm doing the right things, I can resist the urge to graze when visiting family. I can eat a handful of something and throw the rest away. But the darn scale is stuck. Is it the coffee? :confused:

Uh no - it's the white chocolate M&M's. Sigh! :o But, I threw the rest away and today, was completely clean.

In the overall scheme of things - I need to keep reminding myself that I have a well-stocked house, few goodies. I know how to eat LC. But, I'm getting older, not as active, but few behaviors to set me back.

Oh yes, need to check my update bullets...

Total lost since 1-Oct: 6# :doh:
Current Weight: 209. It's sticking with that - seems to be a nasty plateau, but I haven't been good enough to even call it a plateau. What irritates the heck out of me is that with all of this relatively clean eating, I weigh what I did when I didn't eat clean. :annoyed:
Emotionally: Better. Got the new job, it's not especially exciting, but must remember that I'm pretty lucky to get a lateral transfer with no cut in pay even though a reduction of responsibility. I'm no fool, I'll need to bump up my deliverables to justify the pay within several months. I just need to find a way to differentiate myself.
Physical: I'm sorry, but this is continuing to piss me off. Why is it that I'm overweight, yes, but this short arm thing and not being very flexible is embarrassing. Thank gawd I was able to get everything from under the plane seats, but I actually had to undo a snap on my pants.
Eating: I feel like everything is pretty much under control - definitely how I'd see myself eating in maintenance.
Exercise: Zilch, but not beating myself up over it. Oh yeah, said that last time. Arghh! :doh:
To cook today: Thai soup with sauteed chicken - definitely under 20 carbs.

Am I going to be reduced to that ongoing - < 20 carbs a day?? I'm almost ready to post my menu in the Main Lobby for critique! :laugh:

Phranquie 12-04-2012 11:09 PM

Sandra, I hope this week is going good for you.

I have found that if I eat off plan that the weight doesn't show for a few days. Then when I eat on plan it takes forever for the weight to start to drop again. A short little foray into carb laden food can derail my weight loss for weeks.

I have seen that a lot of pople eat a "Big A$$ Breakfast" as their main meal for the day and eat lighter the rest of the day. I would assume that a BAB might be close in calories to your Bulletproof Coffee. I am not one to fiddle too much with something I have been eating on a regular basis unless I stall for several weeks while eating very clean. Sometimes your body just needs a week or so to adjust before losing again. Hang in there and eat clean for another week and see what happens, then if you need to, make a change. What are your total carbs/calories/protein and fats per day? I have found the older I get the fewer calories I need.

As far as your carb level I think everybody is different. I tend to do better between 30-40 carbs a day but I have no idea about what others may need. I learned just from looking back at my food logs. I also like to carb cycle where I eat fewer carbs for a few days then I eat higher carbs for two. I usually have the higher carbs on weekends when we go out to eat.

Congrats on the job transfer, I hope it goes well for you.

I know the feeling of not being able to reach things as I am somewhat of a shortie myself. Years ago in college when I waited tables one of the waiters called me "munchkin arms" because I could not reach things on a top shelf. Being obese and short makes me really look like a beach ball so that is incentive in itself to lose.

sbarr 01-01-2013 08:48 AM

Wow, that was a hiatus - and I'm quite amazed to see the weight BELOW when I stopped posting. I ate poorly much of the month of December with a friend's cookie bake, work luncheons, visiting family over the holidays. However, starting Saturday, after my return, I've done well. I was nearing my all-time high mid-December, but the LC honeymoon has been an incentive by essentially erasing the past month's poor choices and putting me back on track. I think the experience with LC makes it easy to start again. The shopping, regular meals - all habitual. Actually, come to think of it, I didn't eat terribly at home during the month, just when visiting family and work goodies. That's actually encouraging as those aren't big risks.

One thing I didn't do during the month was drink the bulletproof egg coffee because my coffee maker broke and I just drank coffee at work - and I didn't drink any when visiting family like I did over Thanksgiving. I didn't want to pile all of that fat on top of the carbs, so I think this really helped offset the damage that COULD have been done during the month. I'm hesitant to start again, but I remember how good it made me feel. Perhaps with just 1 oz of butter rather than 2 oz. I'm going to have to seriously evaluate that one as it is a BIG calorie hit, albeit almost no carbs.

Total lost since 1-Oct: 9#
Current Weight: 206. I was extremely strict after returning from vacation on Friday, have been clean since. Thank gawd - remembering some of the binging on holiday cookies over the past month, this is almost unheard of.
Physical: Ugh, I got terrible back spasms on the 25th and was barely able to stand up without carefully raising myself (hard to do quickly when getting off airplane). I want to write down as much physical so I can compare at this time next year.

Back spasms - almost impossible to stand up straight
Bending down - continues to be difficult

Eating: Terrible month, but completely back on track.
Exercise: Ready to start swimming or something.
To cook today: Spicy chicken frittata, already in the oven for a late breakfast.

Phranquie 01-02-2013 11:13 PM

Sandra, it is so good to see you back posting. Sounds like you were able to do great at home with eating LC and you did not totally go off the rails with poor eating choices and you did not gain so that is a victory. Luckily there are no big eating holidays for us to deal with until Memorial Day.

I hope your back starts feeling better. Back injuries can really make life difficult so i feel for you with that.

sbarr 01-06-2013 01:40 PM

It stuck, in a good way, meaning I didn't go up - Saturday's scale was 207 and today was slightly lower, so I did dodge the December bullet, despite the poor eating choices. Right now, I'm on a kick with sauteed chicken with chili, cumin, garlic - basically taco style chicken with cheese, sour cream and an avocado. Makes a nice size bowl for dinner. I just made something similar and put a couple of pounds in a crock pot with some salsa and chile and made shredded chicken (this should be good for 3-4 days).

Had a very nice day - took Lindsey for her first ice skating lesson and then went with her best friend and her mother to McDonald's for a quick treat. Easily ordered iced coffee, but it turned out to be a bit sweet, not sure why. Drank about half and just let it go. Not going to stress whether it was sweetened or not - I drank what I drank. Everything else seems to be going very smoothly. I'm focusing more on one main meal, LC and then very light for the rest of the day. I'm finding that this is good for me - I've always been more of a grazer, so this is a better way to avoid trips to the kitchen.

It just feels really good now - like I'm back in control, I'm eating clean. There are a few treats in the house, but I was pleased that I could just eat one small Ghiradelli dark chocolate square and leave it at that last night. In some ways, that's more of an accomplishment than abstaining.

Getting a new coffee maker in the mail shortly - I'll be starting with the Bulletproof coffees again, but this time with half as much butter. I'm planning on that and a good LC dinner to be my mainstays.

Total lost since 1-Oct: 8-9#
Current Weight: 206-7. No complaints. I think I'll try to do a salt water flush next Saturday after weighing.
Emotionally: Better, sticking with my new year's resolution to reach out to friends and family more often, rather than hiding in my cave called home. Went out for a treat after skating today and it was nice to watch the 4 year old best friends linked arm and arm chattering about their holidays. I'm going to try to schedule a monthly get together with Lindsey's friends (even for a cookie bake) and their moms. They're all very nice and no work aggro, just friendly and happy.
Physical: Not quite as awkward and clumsy, but nowhere near where I want to be, but my stomach isn't getting in the way right now. There's no other way to put it, but that my stomach gets in the way when I'm bloated. *sigh* There's reason alone to avoid the carb bloats.
Eating: Under control, a bit boring, but that's quite fine. My fallback treat is the LC buttermilk biscuits with almond and coconut flour. 2 of those, with a bit of butter and jam and it's a nice treat. I'd even eat them if I wasn't trying to be so clean, they're just easy and good.

LC Biscuits - my variation:

1 1/2 T. almond flour
1 T. coconut flour
1 T oat fiber
1 T. vital wheat gluten
tsp. baking powder
Dash salt
1 beaten large egg
2 T. buttermilk
1 tsp. melted butter

Put in 2 greased ramekins or bowls with flat bottoms and nuke for about 1:30 to 1:45.

Exercise: Still nothing, but today, was at the upscale YMCA in the area with a skating rink for Lindsey's skating lessons and realized that it wasn't that much further to drive (maybe 2-3 mile difference) than the one in the 'hood with less equipment. I plan to go there next weekend for a bout with the weights and maybe also for swimming (which is always good for dropping a pound).
To cook today: Shredded chili chicken for several days

Phranquie 01-07-2013 09:36 PM

Your chicken sounds yummy. I am going to do something similar in a crock pot this week. I am glad you are in such a great place with your weight loss. I love that feeling of being in control and eating on plan. I do allow tortilla chips on occasion and I really have to plan ahead and not eat to many when I do indulge in them. I might have to try your biscuits the next time I want something with texture to it.

I suck at exercise myself. But I am getting a lot of exercise with lots of physical household stuff lately. I hope you like the new Y.

sbarr 01-09-2013 04:17 PM

Things are continuing to move along slowly, but I know I'm doing well.

Got my new super-automatic espresso/coffee maker - DEEP discount on Amazon and used (I think it was like $300-400 off and this one was just a single item available as the model is discontinued and the seller was new). Came in perfect condition and shipping was $10 less than the actual cost to ship. I'm thrilled to be able to go to the kitchen, press a button - hear "whirlllllllllllllll tonk tonk tonk" as the coffee is ground and then water forced high pressure through the tamped grounds. I feel so spoiled with this unit. Made my bulletproof coffee, half the butter of the old recipe and it really does a good job of holding me through most of the day.

One nice thing about this unit - it also has a chute to put ground coffee, in case I want decaf at night.

Finally, my crockpot chili chicken is done - I don't think I would have enjoyed it beyond the 4 nights. Enough is enough.

Looking forward to going to the Y this weekend to finally start exercising. I'm hoping that is going to be the catalyst for the weight to drop off. I do dread the whole swimsuit thing.

Phranquie 01-11-2013 12:29 PM

Sandra, I would not in a million years be caught in a bathing suit with my thunder thighs so I know how hard it is. I hope you have fun and enjoy the exercise.

I made some crockpot chicken and it turned out great. My BF has requested beef next as he is a moderate low carber and like to take the crokpot creations to lunch each day.

I am not a coffee person but your new machine sounds fantastic.

sbarr 03-18-2013 06:54 PM

Well, after a lengthy hiatus, am pleased to report that I broke the threshold down to 198 on Saturday :kicking: It's back to 203 or so, but that's carb bloats from bad choices yesterday. It was temporary, though - I already feel the pinching in my stomach that comes from clean eating today (I'm almost wondering if I dare try JUDDD).

There's a pretty big spread between Saturday and today, so I'm claiming the range because I know I'll hit it my low number again shortly. It was quite inspiring to see 198 - I really felt good about myself. Even to the point that I agreed to meet up with a long ago ex at the local food co-op. He's going through an ugly divorce (literally the opposite of my very amicable split with my ex). We had a bit of fun wandering the store with Lindsey and his two little ones. It was also very empowering to know that while it was heartbreaking 7 years ago, now it's just idle curiosity at how he's doing.

Total lost since 1-Oct: 13-17# (-17 on Saturday, -13 today)
Current Weight: 198-203. It was really nice to break the century mark - it'll be even nicer to break the century mark permanently. I've never really claimed a "range of +/- #5, but it feels ok, like I really own the 198, even though I'm not there today).
Emotionally: This weekend was up and down. Saturday, very enthusiastic, but yesterday very tired. Haven't been sleeping very well and I think it caught up with me by Sunday when I dozed through much of the day while Lindsey quietly played.
Physical: Yup - 198, broke that feeling of belly in the way when putting lotion on my feet, etc. This was the big milestone - the belly as a barrier is GONE. I don't even know if that will translate to anyone, but to me, it means that I can reach down and the only thing restricting me is my back not being stretched out. This was really a big physical breakthrough.
Eating: I've had 3 bad days in the past week and a half, but the weight is down. I'm not kidding myself - I know that a bad day MUST be followed by getting back on track and I am very good at that. I know I mentioned JUDDD, but I think I'll stick with basic clean eating - and one main meal a day while I get down to the 180's - it could be within a month or so.
Exercise: Just not there, but I hope to pick Lindsey up from school early and swim with her before her lesson and then lap swim during her lesson.
To cook today: Nothing, but enjoyed my leftovers of eggplant lasagna (will finish that up by Wednesday).

It'll be interesting to see how the eating goes during my trip to New Mexico - I fly from NY to Albuquerque on Thursday, returning Sunday. Hopefully, I can just stick with the one meal a day, but enjoy what I'm eating.

Phranquie 03-25-2013 11:43 AM

Sandra, it looks like you are doing fantastic. Congrats on seeing a new low. How nice that the meet up with the old relationship went well and that you felt great about yourself and comfortable to have fun with the kids.

I think that both JUDD and IF have a good place in controlling how much we eat. It really depends on your personal lifestyle and mentality as to which might be best for you. I like to IF as it leaves out any question about food during the day until my eating window in the evening.

Hope you had a great trip to NM.

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