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Old 05-26-2013, 06:45 AM   #211
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Today's official weigh in clocked me with a four pound gain from my birthday choices... Back up to 200 lbs. Although I accept the consequences for my choices, I'd be lying if I said seeing the number 200 didn't bother me. I know it is temporary and that I will be back into onederland on next week's weigh in. I am just really looking forward to be far enough away from 200 that I never have to see it again!

With summer coming, there will be several events to navigate around related to food. First, my in-laws are arriving next weekend to stay for 17 days. I am sure we will be going out to eat quite a bit, but I don't plan on eating or drinking off plan. The weekend after they leave, I am hosting a pool party/sleepover for my group of girlfriends. Then a few weeks after that, a trip to Boston.

On the one hand, I want to continue losing steadily (and get away from 200 lbs!!). On the other hand, I feel that I should mentally ready myself to experience slower loss through the summer months with these kinds of events. Looking back at my weight log, I lost a total of 2 pounds in June, July, and August of last year. I'm wondering if I will have a repeat of that this summer.

For now, I am just sticking to my routine and taking it one day at a time. I plan of sticking to Induction levels for the upcoming week. I will be burning tons of calories as I clean every inch of my house from top to bottom! Nothing like a 17 day visit from your MIL to get you to catch up on neglected housework and projects!
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Old 05-26-2013, 03:56 PM   #212
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Trish -- don't feel badly about your birthday choices -- you did not go off the rails and your small indulgences were really modest. I bet that four pound gain is mostly water anyway. Just go back on Induction and those pounds will disappear like magic!

I hear you about cleaning every inch of the house for your MIL -- Tony's family is staying with me now with the surgery happening and I was a maniac cleaning and getting ready beforehand! Think of all the calories you will burn!

This summer won't be a repeat of last - you will lose more this time. And, your social events won't derail you. You are a very smart, experienced low carber so you know how to avoid all the traps and pitfalls -- you will lose more and feel great!
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Old 05-28-2013, 05:37 PM   #213
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This business of overcoming food compulsion/binge disorders/overeating in general is a complicated endeavor.
No wonder the statistics indicate many lose their way.
But not me. Not this time. I have lived and learned and I have chosen to be free of this. I will do whatever it takes to remain free.
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I would say this lifestyle change has been 80% psychological work and 20% straight up nutrition (at least for me).
I am getting better about taking the time to reflect on my emotional eating without obsessing neurotically over a slip up thereby fueling a binge. I think about it, but don't dwell on it.
Hi Trish, I stumbled upon your journal recently and felt compelled to read it...
WOW...You have come so far!!!
You are truly an inspiration!
Thank you for sharing your experiences and helping others!
I will be cheering you on!

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Old 05-31-2013, 03:22 PM   #214
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All I can say is Wow! You are so inspiring, you have given me a new motivation I haven't had in a long time. Thank you for being so honest and straight forward.
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Old 06-05-2013, 07:25 AM   #215
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Hi Trish, I stumbled upon your journal recently and felt compelled to read it...
WOW...You have come so far!!!
You are truly an inspiration!
Thank you for sharing your experiences and helping others!
I will be cheering you on!

Thank you for the kind words. It makes me feel good if anyone can find my ramblings helpful!

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All I can say is Wow! You are so inspiring, you have given me a new motivation I haven't had in a long time. Thank you for being so honest and straight forward.
You call it honest and straight forward, I call it embarrassingly neurotic! I'm glad it helped you tap into your motivation.
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Old 06-05-2013, 08:50 AM   #216
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Real life has been a whirlwind. DH and I have been hurriedly preparing our home for the two week visit of his family from England. We even managed to have a yard sale to clear out the clutter. We were getting ready right up to the wire and literally JUST finished as they rang the doorbell. They arrived Monday and will be here until June 17th.

Of course it is always a bit stressful hosting guests but I am very lucky in that I absolutely LOVE my MIL and thoroughly enjoy her company. She brought along a cousin as well (that I only met once 14 years ago), so it is a little awkward with him… especially since he is a very well-to-do, proper English gentleman. I’m sure my entire house would fit inside the great hall that is the entry of his stately home. DH and I could not be further away from that lifestyle, LOL! I ‘splurged’ on a new bed-in-a-bag from Kmart so he wouldn’t be using our old linens. That’s about as highfalutin as I get! He seems nice enough and isn’t snobby or anything… I just find myself a little self-conscious knowing he is used to an entire different way of living than he is experiencing in my home.

So, how has all of this activity affected my way of eating? In several ways, but all for the positive (I think). As busy as I’ve been I have not been able to stick to my normal routine and schedule as it relates to my eating. I didn’t prep my breakfasts and lunches for the week, I don’t have a weekly plan written out, I have not been logging my meals in my food log, I have not squeezed in my biking, and I have not been measuring my portions.

At first, that felt scary and made me wonder if I was self-sabotaging. Then it felt comfortable… like I was proving to myself that when the structure is not there, I am still capable of making good choices and following good healthy instincts with my nutrition. Yes, in my normal day to day life I enjoy being organized, planned out, and routine based… but when things come up in life that make that difficult I no longer fall into black or white, all or nothing thinking and throw all caution to the wind! YAY!

I have been keeping it LC. I have been keeping portions on track (though unmeasured), I have been mentally approximating carbs instead of writing down everything… and as of this morning I am down to an all new low of 195 pounds! I am not claiming it yet since it only counts on my Sunday morning OWI, but it is showing me that I can still move in the right direction while loosening the reins as I practice the flexibility required to work around life sometimes! Another new lesson learned on this journey towards health and wellness. Go me!

Just a few examples from the past few days that felt like little triumphs:

1. Cousin wanted to buy my favorite wine (Pinot Noir). I politely declined saying I would not be indulging in wine during their stay. I encouraged them to choose their favorites.

2. Mother in law bought pastries and fruits for the house. I declined without any fanfare about my ‘food limitations’. Just a no thank you and thought nothing more of it.

3. Mother in law asked if I was ‘allowed’ anything on a menu of a restaurant (she’s trying to be conscious and helpful). I let her know I am allowed all foods and just make my choices and don’t need any special considerations at all when choosing places to go. There is always something that I can work with on any menu. (and when my meal came accidently with a side of my all time favorite red bliss mashed potatoes, I squeezed a lemon all over it and ate around it! There was a time I would have looked at the mistake of including mashed on my plate as a ‘sign’ I was meant to enjoy them, LOL!).

4. I haven’t considered splurging on anything because we are ‘celebrating’ DH’s family being here. I no longer look at ALL unique life events as reasons to eat. I pick and choose the ones worth splurging on (like last month’s birthday).

There is a basic commonality to all the examples above. I am being a good hostess to my guests but am not allowing myself to feel I must change my food choices to please them or to make things ‘easy’ for anyone. I realize my choices aren’t really affecting them at all but in the past I would have falsely correlated my need to please others with a need to be self-sacrificing. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

My not eating a pastry did not hurt my MILs feelings. My polite declining of the wine did not cause the cousin to think I am an ungrateful brat, my choice to eat the foods I enjoy instead of the foods they enjoy are not putting a damper on their good time. Amazing that I would have perceived it that way in the past! … and you know what? If it DID make my MIL sad or if it DID make the cousin think I was ungrateful, that would be their problem and not mine!! Ahhhhh, the sweet freedom of self acceptance!!! I am what I am, take it or leave it!!

I am looking forward to the quality family time over the next couple weeks and feel good about my mindset. With all the change in routine and eating out, I would be happy enough to maintain, but if the current trend of losing continues I will certainly take it. No matter how the weight responds, I am grateful for this experience to strengthen my healthy habits and self trust.
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Old 06-05-2013, 11:04 AM   #217
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truly inspiring! Makes me feel like I can do it too thanks so much for sharing!
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Old 06-05-2013, 04:44 PM   #218
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Thanks for sharing! So many times I have "given in to relatives" so that I don't have to explain my eating plan. You make it sound so doable!
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Old 06-05-2013, 09:21 PM   #219
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Trish, you are doing so well. I am so proud of how you handle situations. Just keep on rocking it.
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Old 06-06-2013, 09:34 AM   #220
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...I was proving to myself that when the structure is not there, I am still capable of making good choices and following good healthy instincts with my nutrition.
...when things come up in life that make that difficult I no longer fall into black or white, all or nothing thinking and throw all caution to the wind! YAY!


You are an amazing Gal!
KUTGW & enjoy the time with your family!
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Old 06-06-2013, 04:14 PM   #221
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What Dianne said! Trish, you are an amazing inspiration and you never fail to do the right thing. Congratulations on avoiding the red bliss mashed potatoes -- that just shows how strong you truly are. Thanks for reminding us how important strength and discipline are when paired with grace and humanity. xo
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Old 06-09-2013, 06:36 AM   #222
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truly inspiring! Makes me feel like I can do it too thanks so much for sharing!
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Thanks for sharing! So many times I have "given in to relatives" so that I don't have to explain my eating plan. You make it sound so doable!
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Trish, you are doing so well. I am so proud of how you handle situations. Just keep on rocking it.
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You are an amazing Gal!
KUTGW & enjoy the time with your family!
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What Dianne said! Trish, you are an amazing inspiration and you never fail to do the right thing. Congratulations on avoiding the red bliss mashed potatoes -- that just shows how strong you truly are. Thanks for reminding us how important strength and discipline are when paired with grace and humanity. xo
Thank you to all that have stopped by to share in my journey, take inspiration, or leave encouragement. It really means a lot to me.

So the in-laws have been here a week. They will be here one more week. Things I have learned:

1. Guests should ideally stay in your home for just one week.
2. When you bring a flock on English people to the beach, bring more than one umbrella or they will end up huddled together under a tiny circle of shade while you bask your Italian skin in the bright sun.
3. Be prepared for the server at every restaurant to explain to your English guests that when they order steak well done, the restaurant is not responsible if the steak is not edible.


Today was my official weigh in and I am down to 194 pounds!! 88 pounds gone!! That is a three pound loss this week while my routine has been up in the air. Feels awesome!

I owe this week's loss to the fact that I watched my guests share a gorgeous dessert at my favorite restaurant while politely declining a spoon to share, that I continue to say no thank you to the plethora of chocolates strewn around my house (those English love their chocolate), that I pass on ice cream cones at the beach, that I am ignoring the pastry, Danish, and three loaves of various fresh bakery bread on my kitchen counter (the English loved their baked goods too), that I have looked the other way when they are eating any and every form of potato imaginable (those English love their chips), and that I want to see the 90 pound club more than I want a taste of ANYTHING. It hasn't been easy but it hasn't been difficult either. It has just been.

I am going to prep my breakfast and lunch for this week today. I am fine spending another week going with the flow (this week's three pound loss shows I can handle it), but I don't want to push my luck. Just some boiled eggs and chicken salad... Easy peasy, lemon squeezy (as the English would say).
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Old 06-09-2013, 06:51 AM   #223
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Congratulations on your weight loss! I so admire your dedication and determination. And I completely agree with the things you have learned. After having Tony's family stay with me for over one week, I thought I was going to go crazy even though I love them. Having houseguests is hard when you want everyone to be comforable 24/7.
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Old 06-09-2013, 08:46 AM   #224
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I so enjoy reading your posts and like I said before, you really give me motivation! If you can say no to those goodies I can say no to bread. I actually thought about you yesterday , we went to my step grandson's graduation party and they were serving fried chicken, coated in flour, mashed potatoes, gravy, French bread, salad and fruit!! I walked away from the serving table with salad and fruit and felt great about it! I then went and sat by myself so I didn't have to explain to anyone why I wasn't eating anything else, but at least I did it! Thanks!
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Old 06-10-2013, 09:03 AM   #225
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Today was my official weigh in and I am down to 194 pounds!! 88 pounds gone!! That is a three pound loss this week while my routine has been up in the air. Feels awesome!
You just keep on Rocking it, Trish!!!

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Old 06-16-2013, 04:11 PM   #226
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Congratulations on your weight loss! I so admire your dedication and determination. And I completely agree with the things you have learned. After having Tony's family stay with me for over one week, I thought I was going to go crazy even though I love them. Having houseguests is hard when you want everyone to be comforable 24/7.
Yes! I absolutely LOVE my MIL but having her and an extra guest in the house was stressful (would have been no big deal at all if it had been just her).
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I so enjoy reading your posts and like I said before, you really give me motivation! If you can say no to those goodies I can say no to bread. I actually thought about you yesterday , we went to my step grandson's graduation party and they were serving fried chicken, coated in flour, mashed potatoes, gravy, French bread, salad and fruit!! I walked away from the serving table with salad and fruit and felt great about it! I then went and sat by myself so I didn't have to explain to anyone why I wasn't eating anything else, but at least I did it! Thanks!
WTG on navigating the graduation party! We don't always have to participate in EVERY single opportunity to celebrate with food. Life throws enough events at us to pass up a few from time to time. You made a great choice.
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You just keep on Rocking it, Trish!!!

Thank you!! I am trying!

So the visit came to an end today. There were a lot of tears as DH and I said goodbye to his mom, but I would be lying through my teeth if I said there wasn't some relief in having the cousin she brought go. The last few days really stretched my hostess skills and graciousness to the max! I had to bite my tongue quite a bit and that is a binge trigger for me. Although I passed up the constant offerings of high carb/high sugar items, I did find myself over doing the nuts and SF chocolate the last three days of the visit. On top of dealing with the stress of the visit, a friend/colleague was moved into Hospice this weekend. I went to the hospital before he was moved to say my goodbyes.

This week's OWI clocked me at 197 pounds. Although that is three pounds up from last Sunday, it is the exact weight I was the day they arrived. Considering we've been out to eat countless times and I managed to avoid ALL the unhealthy foods and alcoholic beverages in my home, I am going to call that a success. I have been overeating today in a stress relieving way (which I recognize as completely emotional eating instead of nutritional eating), but am not even giving myself any grief over it! I seriously got pushed to the limit these past days (was insulted and offended by my guest) and if some SF chocolate and a few grilled sausages are making it into my food plan today, I am still calling that progress!! Previously, it would have been a full blown binge!! Progress... Not perfection.

I planned and prepped for the work week ahead. I want a few days of good clean eating to shake off the nuts and SF chocolates, lol. Here is the plan:

B- egg salad with shredded cabbage and coffee (3 carbs)
S- coffee (1 carb)
L- steak and gorgonzola salad with ranch (5 carbs)
S- 2 coffees (2 carbs)
D- protein and vegetable with condiments and a diet soda can (5-7 carbs)
S- pork rinds or jello with HWC (1 carb)

Carb range = 17 to 19 carbs
Exercise = bike, walk, or swim 3x this week
Water = 60 oz. per day

Since I haven't been doing formal exercise or drinking all my water or recording my foods or measuring my portions, I am confident I will drop those three pounds again quickly once back in my routine. My next big milestone is to hit 192 and claim my spot in the 90 pound club. I am going to focus on that this week as I get back in the groove.
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Old 06-20-2013, 08:55 AM   #227
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I was doing a little inner dialoging this morning and the conversation with myself started to become productive, so I thought I’d write it down.

I am up 1.5 pounds because I chose to eat higher carbs on Sunday (after my houseguests flew the coop!). I bought sugar free chocolate and Italian sausage to eat, neither of which are part of my day to day nutritional plan because of their higher carb counts. While doing my shopping, I decided to buy them with the intention of enjoying them in a sort of traditional ‘Italian Sunday Dinner’ style day of indulgence. And that’s what I did.

So this morning I was being slightly neurotic about the 1.5 weight bounce up on the scale (Who, me? Neurotic?). I heard myself say, “That’s what you get for binging on Sunday.” Immediately, I realized that statement was false. I didn’t ‘binge’ on Sunday. I may have overeaten, but I didn’t binge. This prompted me to examine the language I use when describing my behaviors with food (and examining the actual behaviors).

In the past, I used terms like ‘good’ and ‘bad’ to describe my food choices and now I use ‘nutritious’ and ‘not nutritious’. This is a positive step forward.

But when I describe my food behaviors, I notice I my mind adopts the term ‘binge’ a little too easily. Anytime I eat something not for the purpose of nutrition, I sort of jump to the binge term. This is a remnant of the all or nothing, black or white way of thinking that used to dominate my mind’s way of processing how I relate to food and eating.
I realize I don’t want to use the terms binge/overeating/indulging interchangeable and it is something I need to work on. So I started to examine the differences between them. I’m sure this will be an ongoing process, but this is what I have so far:

Over eating/Indulging
-It is planned. I make a choice and follow through on the choice.
-The food is prepared. Even on Sunday with my SF chocolate, I unwrapped the servings and put them on a plate along with a serving of natural peanut butter. Then I sat down with the plate and took the time to enjoy the food choice.
-Eaten in the company of others. I sat next to my DH as I enjoyed my food choices Sunday. Not to say I couldn’t eat it alone, but there is no shame or guilt associated with overeating/indulging that drives me to seek privacy.
-Done over a stretched out time period. I eat at a normal pace.

Binging/Compulsive eating
-Not planned. It comes on suddenly and feels like a compulsion to eat. My body almost starts to move on its own without my consent (out of body experience?)
-The food is not prepared. In fact, I sometime find I am standing in front of the fridge or pantry just eating food directly from the packages. I am NOT taking the time to enjoy the eating experience; I am shoveling it in.
-Eaten in secrecy/privacy. I hide what I am doing.I feel shame and guilt. In the past it was drive-thrus in the car or sneaking junk food in the kitchen when no one was looking. In fact, the last time I ‘binged’ it was eating raw cookie dough from the fridge and when DH walked in, I hid it in my hand.
-Done in a small window. I eat faster and more food is consumed in a short space of time.


So I believe I have concluded that WHAT I am eating has nothing to do with whether I am binging or overeating (for example, I could binge on SF chocolate and I could overeat/indulge on cookie dough according to the parameters outlined above).

I think occasional overeating or indulging as its place in an overall healthy and nutritious lifestyle (I’d call it ‘normal’ but I hate that word!), but binging doesn’t have a place in a healthy and nutritious lifestyle. Binging is a compulsion and is part of the addiction cycle. I borrow a lot from the 12 step philosophy when dealing with my compulsions and addictions and feel the definition of binging above is the BEHAVIOR I wish to avoid. I will no longer call the behavior associated with overeating/indulging by the name BINGE (at least not consciously… though I know it may take time to modify my inner dialogue).

So there it is. These were the thoughts running through my head during this morning’s first cup of coffee. I am no longer feeling neurotic about the slight bump in weight, I feel fine with the CHOICES I made this weekend, and am grateful for another day of freedom from compulsive eating and binging.
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Old 06-20-2013, 09:23 AM   #228
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I enjoyed reading your posts because it brings me to a new and different level of thinking about food and the choices I make. I find myself using the term "cheat" on the occasion that I eat something off plan, but if I think about the word cheat it conjures up sneaking or hiding...I need to work on that. Thanks for letting us share your thoughts.
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Old 06-23-2013, 04:13 PM   #229
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OWI was 199 this morning. I seem to be going the wrong way since seeing 194 two weeks ago. I have been eating off plan yesterday and today. Borderline binging. I am going to make an appointment with my counselor this week to help me focus on my triggers and coping strategies. I also may be needing guidance in identifying some of the things that need my attention right now. I've been on auto pilot a bit and think I need to regain the steering wheel with two hands.

I have had plenty of things going on in my life over the past few weeks (my friend/colleague died in Hospice last night), but we all do all the time and it is not a reason to eat in an unhealthy way. I managed to stay focused during the stressful visit, but here I am falling apart a week later. I remember having this happen on the one year anniversary of discovering my DH's betrayal. During the ACTUAL discovery, I did not turn to food. At the one year anniversary, I felt the urge. I see a pattern of being at risk of using food when I am in decompression mode. I must discuss this with my counselor to understand it a bit better and come up with a strategy.

I have my food for the week prepped and my plan is in place to resume normalcy. Here is what I have come up with:

B- egg salad with coffee (3 carbs)
S- coffee (1 carb)
L- grilled chicken with ranch (1 carb)
S- coffee (1 carb)
D- protein, 1 cup of veggies, condiments and/or cheese and diet soda (5-7 carbs)
S- SF jello with HWC (1 carb)

60 ounces of water
Bike ride three times
Vitamins and supps- multi, HTP, coconut oil, apple cider vinegar

The ACV is in my egg salad (1 TBLS per day) and I will take a TBLS of coconut oil straight at least once. I might do it in the morning before work, but I took some in a container to work too in case I want to take it there. I am now working 10 hour days and need to keep the energy going without overdoing the food or coffee, hence the addition of the coconut oil. I'd prefer to take it after work to satiate and help keep from eating snacks, but I heard it can give energy so I will take it in the AM. Both the CO and ACV are additions I've looked into for various health benefits including appetite suppressant and weight loss. I figured I'd give them a whirl this week and see how it goes.

I also MUST get physical again for my sanity! I never got around to riding my bike last week and used two excuses. I wasn't getting home until 7 pm after working 12 hours (too tired) and it has been kick ass hot here in Florida (too hot). To combat this, I am going to try to take my bike ride at 6AM, before I am too tired and before it gets too hot. Again, I can commit to it for a week and take it from there.

I'm bummed. I really hope I wake up in a decent frame of mind tomorrow.
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Old 06-24-2013, 09:18 AM   #230
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I’m back on track this morning. I do find my mind obsessing a bit and trying to work me up into a defeatist frenzy, but I know that is my addiction/compulsion talking so I am hushing it down and just putting one little step in front of the other.


Taking it one hour at a time today.


I was not able to gag down the coconut oil off a spoon this morning, YUCK! I also tried it in coffee but could not get past the oil slick in my mug, GROSS! Coconut oil may not be in the cards for me just yet. We’ll also see if I can swallow the evening primrose tonight, since the pill is bigger than I can usually manage. If I end up just sticking to my chewable multi and my 5-HTP, while eating on plan and squeezing in a little exercise, I’m going to call today a smashing success!
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Old 06-24-2013, 09:31 AM   #231
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Trish, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. That is a hard thing to go through and I can understand why you wanted to eat certain things. When I get sad or anxious, I always reach for comfort foods. You did a great job with your self-analysis above and I believe that you will get right back on track again! Don't beat yourself up -- you have had such great success as well as deeper understanding of your food and emotional issues and how to solve them effectively.

You know, I too, struggle with coconut oil and I want so much to love it.
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Old 06-25-2013, 04:35 PM   #232
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GailyGail View Post
.You know, I too, struggle with coconut oil and I want so much to love it.
What the heck is it? So many people love it and I am all like .

Today was another day with both hands on the wheel. A friend of mine put my slip in perspective today and I am slowly but surely shaking it off. He shared a saying from his 12 step program:

Just keep trudging the road to happy destiny.

That helped me a lot and I am embracing the effort involved as I trudge along towards health and happiness.
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Old 06-26-2013, 06:41 AM   #233
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Day three of ‘operation regain control’ and I feel much better. I’ve been eating SUPER clean and keeping it VERY low carb, even eliminating my SF breath mints, all table salt, and keeping coffee to 2 a day (down from 4). My total carbs Monday were 13 and yesterday it was 10. I feel the bloat diminishing and am finding my mind has recalibrated and the compulsive/addicted voice in my head is back in its dormant place. Here are my menus for the last couple days, just to show an example of what VLC means to me:

Monday = 13 carbs
B- Coffee (1)
S- Egg salad (1)
L- Grilled chicken with ranch (1)
S- Coffee (1)
D- Rib Eye with asparagus, mushrooms, onions, and a diet soda can (8)
S- Jello w/HWC (1)
80 ounces of water

Tuesday = 10 carbs
B- Coffee (1)
S- Egg salad (1)
L- Grilled chicken with ranch (1)
S- Coffee (1)
D- Pork chops with roasted sprouts, ranch, and a diet soda can (6)
80 ounces of water

I was feeling pretty puffy and gross after the weekend slip up and as is the case in life, the universe handed me a sign of encouragement. I stumbled across a picture of me at my highest weight yesterday. It helped me remember how far I have come. I decided to post them in the ML in an effort to solidify that there has been progress and I can take the time to enjoy that even though I am not yet at my final goal and even though making progress isn’t always an exercise in perfection.

I thought I’d put the pics here too as a record of this ‘revelation’.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Sitting Before.jpg (25.7 KB, 21 views)
File Type: jpg Sitting after.jpg (27.8 KB, 20 views)
File Type: jpg Face Before.jpg (21.3 KB, 17 views)
File Type: jpg Face after.jpg (14.2 KB, 21 views)
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Old 06-26-2013, 09:03 AM   #234
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Trish, you are drop dead gorgeous! I am serious - you look absolutely stunning. Your menus look fantastic -- very healthy, clean and satisfying. I just love the quote you got from your friend "Just keep trudging the road to happy destiny." There is a ton of wisdom in the quote!

Regarding coconut oil and especially putting coconut oil in coffee, I just can't go there. Low carbers on this board love it and swear by it - but I feel like there is an oil slick in my office cup. And it tastes like suntan lotion -- gag! On the "Today Show," the other day, their nutritionist Joy Bauer came out swinging against "Bulletproof Coffee" -- that is when you put butter or coconut oil in your coffee. I don't think she quite understood it because she is more of a mainstream/low fat nutritionist if you know what I mean.
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Old 06-26-2013, 04:50 PM   #235
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OMGoodness Trish you really are a very pretty lady. You should be so proud!

I've tried the coconut oil in coffee and can't do it either...it really gags me. I even tried to whip it in my coffee with hwc but still couldn't do it.

I like your menus...sometimes it's easier just to start over and eat really clean for awhile. I think of it as resetting myself like I have to do my puter!
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Old 06-27-2013, 05:17 AM   #236
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Hi Trish. Just as GailyGail said - "you are drop-dead gorgeous". My thoughts exactly. You've come a long way. Thanks so much for journaling about your present life. I was overcome this morning by a serious personal problem from which I see no way out at this point in my life and found myself quietly crying and venting to the walls around me - also feeling like such a failure because I gave in to cravings last night and ate a lot of m'n m's. Your posts are inspiring me to pick myself up, dust myself off and to keep going. I can identify with much of your struggle.
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Old 06-27-2013, 09:39 AM   #237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GailyGail View Post
Trish, you are drop dead gorgeous! I am serious - you look absolutely stunning. Your menus look fantastic -- very healthy, clean and satisfying. I just love the quote you got from your friend "Just keep trudging the road to happy destiny." There is a ton of wisdom in the quote!

Regarding coconut oil and especially putting coconut oil in coffee, I just can't go there. Low carbers on this board love it and swear by it - but I feel like there is an oil slick in my office cup. And it tastes like suntan lotion -- gag! On the "Today Show," the other day, their nutritionist Joy Bauer came out swinging against "Bulletproof Coffee" -- that is when you put butter or coconut oil in your coffee. I don't think she quite understood it because she is more of a mainstream/low fat nutritionist if you know what I mean.
Thank you Gail. I agree that the quote is a good reminder of how to view day to day living. As far as the CO, I think when I reincorporate flax muffins, I will add it to those. Until then, no thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jokath View Post
OMGoodness Trish you really are a very pretty lady. You should be so proud!

I've tried the coconut oil in coffee and can't do it either...it really gags me. I even tried to whip it in my coffee with hwc but still couldn't do it.

I like your menus...sometimes it's easier just to start over and eat really clean for awhile. I think of it as resetting myself like I have to do my puter!
Thank you. Eating clean is like a reset button. I am enjoying the clean eating and think it is a good thing for me for a bit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by islegirl View Post
Hi Trish. Just as GailyGail said - "you are drop-dead gorgeous". My thoughts exactly. You've come a long way. Thanks so much for journaling about your present life. I was overcome this morning by a serious personal problem from which I see no way out at this point in my life and found myself quietly crying and venting to the walls around me - also feeling like such a failure because I gave in to cravings last night and ate a lot of m'n m's. Your posts are inspiring me to pick myself up, dust myself off and to keep going. I can identify with much of your struggle.
Thank you. I am sorry you are struggling right now. Be gentle and loving with yourself as you navigate the new problem life is throwing at you.

Another little gem that made me adjust my head today. I have a 'quote wall' in my office. I have accumulated many over the years and pin them up on this bulletin board. From time to time I look over and read one. Here is the one my eyes landed on yesterday.

Stop beating yourself up about things from your past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking: “What was I thinking?” breathe and ask yourself “What was I learning?”

I am looking at the way I chose to cope with stressors over the last few weeks and the tiny little signs that led up to last weekend’s slip up and LEARNING a lot. That wouldn’t be happening if I was still slapping myself around.
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Old 06-27-2013, 10:13 AM   #238
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Hi Trish,

I am sorry for your loss.
I am a Hospice Volunteer.
I hope that your friend was as comfortable and at peace, as possible.


Quote:
Originally Posted by trishthedish View Post
Progress... Not perfection.


Quote:
Originally Posted by trishthedish View Post
Just keep trudging the road to happy destiny.
How great!

Thank you for sharing your journey.

You are beautiful!
KUTGW
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Old 06-28-2013, 08:47 AM   #239
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Trish, I am so sorry that I overlooked what you said about losing your friend. You have my sympathy.
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Old 07-07-2013, 04:50 PM   #240
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Aaaaaaaaaack!!!! I've been binging (really binging) for the past four days. It was a stumble that started two weekends ago, then occurred again last weekend, then again on the 4th of July and hasn't stopped since.

Today I started taking action.

1. Called my counselor and took her soonest appointment.
2. Methodically planned my food for the week and prepped it all (Induction level 12 to 14 carbs per day).
3. Restocked my vitamins and supplements and even added a few more to help me with the anxiety and exhaustion I have been experiencing. (5-HTP, MegaRed Krill Oil, Vitamin D, Centrum Multi, organic extra virgin coconut oil, apple cider vinegar)
4. Got EVERYTHING ready so I can take a bike ride in the morning before work.
5. Repeating the serenity prayer and remembering I only need to take it one day at a time.
6. Did my OWI and recorded it in my journal... 206 pounds. I won't dwell. Only looking forward. (See number five)
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