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Old 04-05-2013, 08:18 AM   #181
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Trish, I feel like I have a good handle on things now and working my issues helps a lot. Luckily I do not feel deprived even with the lower cals and the IF. I have to watch that as I know if I do feel that way it can really backfire. I think that I am getting such positive feedback in the form of weight loss that somehow it is all working.

I can tell you that I suck at exercise. But what is helping is wearing a pedometer. I am trying to get more steps in every day and having a record of it helps. I want to get in better shape (firm up what can be firmed) and have a bit more stamina. I do not look to exercise for weight loss.

Your menu looks good and should knock you into that 80lb club soon.
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Old 04-07-2013, 03:35 PM   #182
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Well, I had a rough week. It was very stressful. Partly due to a very demanding week at work but intensified by PMS. I also found myself thinking a lot this week about the marital betrayal that I discovered one year ago this month. I think I am just remembering this time last year and all that it meant to me. It has brought up some sad feelings. Although I have chosen to work a reconciliation plan with DH, these emotions still remain.

I found my carbs were a lot higher each day since I was overindulging on my LC foods as a result of my negative feelings and stress level... I did not exercise, and I did not get in all my water. The pinnacle of the week was Saturday, when I ate several unhealthy choices that were not planned. I do have some residual feelings about this today (like disappointment that I didn't overeat when I was actually experiencing the betrayal last year but remembering it now caused me to turn to food) but when I woke up this morning, the curtain closed behind me and it was time to move forward. I can forgive myself for not being perfect.

OWI this morning was 206, showing me a 2.5 gain as a result of this past week. Fair and balanced in my opinion. I reflected on several of my stressors this past week and made a couple of decisions in an effort to reduce my stress level for my overall well being (not just my weight reduction efforts).

First, I am going to start incorporating a daily multivitamin (embarrassed to admit I haven't been taking one up to this point) and two supplements to my nutrition. The two supplements are 5-HTP and Evening Primrose Oil. I've done my research and I know my specific health issues. I think these will be a nice addition for me.

Second, I WANT and NEED to return to my daily walking. I believe my ability to handle the stress of my job would improve if I went back to taking a 30 minute walk in the morning. When I did it, my days ran smoother and I had more energy to tackle the problems as they arose during the day. If I find the morning walk too difficult to manage, I can take it in the evenings after work. Either way, I KNOW walking each day does wonders for my physical and mental health. I want to do that for myself. It needs to restart this week.

My shopping, meal planning, and prep cooking is done for the week. I was thrilled to find liquid Sucralose at the grocery store (finally) and using it will reduce the carbohydrates in my daily coffees!

Whoo- freaking- hoo!!!!

This week's plan:

B- Bacon and coffee (1 carb)
S- Cheese stick (1 carb)
L- Hot dogs and cabbage in a mustard and bacon fat dressing (3 carbs)
S- Chicken salad with mayo and coffee (1 carb)
D- Protein, vegetable, condiment, and diet ginger ale (6-10 carbs)
S- Evening snack (1-6 carbs)

Total daily carbs = 13-22 carbs
Water intake = 40 ounces
Exercise = 30 minutes, five days this week
Take daily vitamin and supplements

One last thing to note. I treated myself to a new food journal notebook and pack of erasable pens. It was a non food related splurge that really made me happy. It reminded me that taking care of myself comes in many forms and unhealthy eating is never one of them. Hugs to me.
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Last edited by trishthedish; 04-07-2013 at 03:36 PM..
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Old 04-09-2013, 08:40 PM   #183
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Hi Trish,

Just popping by to see how you are doing. I, too, had a rough weekend. I know we can get through this together! I also am struggling to add in a multi and walk to balance a stressful job. I'm not a morning person so it's a challenge to get up - my vitamin is ridiculously big and hard to swallow - etc. There are ways around & I think we both can do it because we know the benefits. I loved how you said the "curtain closed behind you" as you started a new week. That is a great outlook. Wishing you the best this week!
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Old 04-12-2013, 11:24 AM   #184
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Trish, I am glad to see that you have thought about the reasons behind the overeating and off plan eating. This is really important if you are going to be able to head off the urge to eat before it happens. This kind of "head" work is just as important to me as planning and sticking to my food plan. I think the more we inspect the emotions and stress behind our eating patterns, the better we can recognize them and have a plan in place to prevent an eating episode we want to avoid in the future.

I do find that I have rebound eating from when a stressful or emotional time is is over and I feel like I can finally breathe and this when I can really lose it with food. Like I have been holding things together and then when it is over I fall apart. So I can understand how thinking about the situation a year ago could cause you to eat now. It happens. It is done and you have moved on which is the best thing you can do.

I hope the addition of supplements and vitamins will help you. I do take vitamins and some supplements each day. Have never tried the 5-HTP though.
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Old 04-12-2013, 03:26 PM   #185
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dipsydoodle View Post
Hi Trish,

Just popping by to see how you are doing. I, too, had a rough weekend. I know we can get through this together! I also am struggling to add in a multi and walk to balance a stressful job. I'm not a morning person so it's a challenge to get up - my vitamin is ridiculously big and hard to swallow - etc. There are ways around & I think we both can do it because we know the benefits. I loved how you said the "curtain closed behind you" as you started a new week. That is a great outlook. Wishing you the best this week!
Dipsy, nice to see you. Sorry you are having a tough time too. Like you, I have a very difficult time swallowing pills. I found a chewable multi-vitamin at Walmart that does not contain sugar. Not having to dread choking on the pill has helped me get it done each day. I haven't had as much luck with the Evening Primrose horse pill. I only got it down once this week. It may not be feasible to include this in my WOL. Luckily, the 5- HTP is a small coated capsule.

As far as closing the curtain, I literally visualize standing and having the curtains draw behind me. I take a deep breath, chin up, shoulders back, and only look forward. It may seem like a silly exercise but it works for me.
Quote:
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Trish, I am glad to see that you have thought about the reasons behind the overeating and off plan eating. This is really important if you are going to be able to head off the urge to eat before it happens. This kind of "head" work is just as important to me as planning and sticking to my food plan. I think the more we inspect the emotions and stress behind our eating patterns, the better we can recognize them and have a plan in place to prevent an eating episode we want to avoid in the future.

I do find that I have rebound eating from when a stressful or emotional time is is over and I feel like I can finally breathe and this when I can really lose it with food. Like I have been holding things together and then when it is over I fall apart. So I can understand how thinking about the situation a year ago could cause you to eat now. It happens. It is done and you have moved on which is the best thing you can do.

I hope the addition of supplements and vitamins will help you. I do take vitamins and some supplements each day. Have never tried the 5-HTP though.
I would say this lifestyle change has been 80% psychological work and 20% straight up nutrition (at least for me). I am getting better about taking the time to reflect on my emotional eating without obsessing neurotically over a slip up thereby fueling a binge. I think about it, but don't dwell on it. You are spot on in your description of the urge to eat compulsively 'after the storm'. Perhaps the stress and emotional energy of a crisis provides enough of a distraction from the urge to eat, but once it is over there is that quiet, calm decompression phase. I believe I am (possibly) just now really 'sitting' with the reality of all that happened last year. I am no longer in reaction mode. Instead I am processing at a different level. I won't lie... I feel vulnerable.

It is too soon to say how the 5-HTP is going, but I did function through another very rough week and managed to take better care of myself than I did last week. I have been feeling my baseline anxiety increasing in the last few months and I have experienced clinical depression several times in my life, so I recognize some of the patterns that could be emerging. I know I am not at my highest functioning level right now but do not feel I have gone far enough to look into getting back on an SSRI. I know that good nutrition, daily physical activity, proper hydration, and getting my daily vitamin is a good first step in trying to balance out my physical/emotional/spiritual connection. If the addition of the 5-HTP can enhance that naturally, it is worth trying before looking into pharmaceutical options (at least for me). My best friend has been on an SSRI for the better part of 20 years now and she's been weaning off of them and replacing with 5-HTP with success. It was her recommendation of it for my mother that started my research on it for myself.

Although I remained in an emotionally 'unhappy' place all week, last Saturday was the only time I used food to soothe. This week I have been doing everything I said I'd do: clean eating, daily walks, daily vitamin and supplements. I've also been trying to focus on how far I've come, how good I look and feel now at this weight, and living in the moment. So far, so good.
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Old 04-14-2013, 06:50 AM   #186
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OWI this morning...201!!!!! I'm in the 80 pound club!!!

My previous weight loss record was 76 pounds, so this is the first (and last) time I celebrate this feat. I am so determined to make it to onederland on my next OWI. I have not seen 199 on a scale since 2004. I am borderline giddy about it.

So last week's food plan, daily walks (yay, I did it everyday!), and water intake produced a 5 pound loss (2.5 of which was a bounce up from eating high carb foods the previous weekend, leaving a loss of 2.5 in fat pounds). Obviously the carb/fat/protein ratio was dialed in. I ranged from 14-28 carbs and averaged out at exactly 20 for the week.

I took some extra time while planning this week's menu to stay within the same ranges as last week (since it produced a good loss) but to reduce the sodium a bit. Last week had me eating bacon in the morning, cheese sticks for snack, hot dogs for lunch, and pork rinds for dinner. My legs and ankles swelled up a few times this week and I experienced a bit of chest pain. Mid week, I switched my brekkie to chicken salad and my snack to PB or ricotta and it seemed to help with the swelling. I want to reduce the salt this week to help alleviate that if possible.

So the results of my careful planning produced this weekly food plan:

B- 2 hardboiled eggs with mayo & coffee (2 carbs)
S- Coffee (1)
L- Mediterranean quiche (3.5 carbs)
S- Coffee (1)
D- Protein, vegetable, condiment, diet ginger ale (6-10 carbs)
S- Evening snack (1-6 carbs)

Weekly goals:
Total daily carbs= 14.5-23.5
Water intake= 40 ounces
5 daily walks
Daily multi-vitamin and 5-HTP supplement

I found myself a bit more productive and positive feeling this weekend. The combination of ketosis, the daily walks, and maybe the 5-HTP are providing me with at least the energy needed to accomplish things on my to do list. I'm also feeling a bit calmer about the work week ahead since I got caught up on piles and piles of paperwork. Before I left my office Friday, I gave everything a once over with some Lysol wipes, changed my computer's desktop to a spring scene with blue skies and wild flowers, and organized my tasks for the week ahead. I'm giving myself the best chance I can to have a positive week. Deep cleansing breath...here we go.
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Old 04-15-2013, 05:23 PM   #187
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Trish, that is an awesome loss for last week. Congrats on getting tot eh 80lb club!!! My fingers are crossed for next week's weigh in. I had not been in Onderland since about 2005 and it is such a great feeling. When I see the weight coming off it makes it so much easier for me to stay on plan during those weaker moments when I am tempted to stray.

I go some 5-HTP this weekend and have started taking it. I have been feeling a low level of anxiety for the last two weeks and I figured it wouldn't hurt to try it.
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:45 AM   #188
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Congratulations on reaching 80 lb. loss! You will soon be in Onederland! I cried when I did.

Hope this week is going better for you.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:47 AM   #189
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What a week!

Wow. In the last 7 days I had a lot of life drama.

First, my little sister lives and works in Boston. She was at the marathon at mile marker 25. She had a traumatic experience that day and I was in frantic cell phone contact with her until she got home safely on Tuesday (she was stranded Monday night when public transport was shut down). My mother came to my house during height if the activity to wait with me till we heard she got off the streets safely. As I've mentioned in the past, mom is a binge trigger for me and here we were panicked about my sister's safety, perched by the telephone.

Then on Friday, little sister was at her boyfriend's house during the city wide lockdown. Her boyfriend's house is .6 miles from the suspect's apartment and they were warned to be ready to hear the controlled blast. She spent that day within earshot of the helicopters and police sirens. Again, we were in constant contact Friday until the suspect was apprehended. I am grateful she is safe.

Then on Sunday, I was rear ended while sitting at a red light. I think I may have whiplash since I felt disoriented and dizzy after the accident and today am experiencing upper back and shoulder pain. DH feels neck pain. We haven't gone to the doctor (we HATE going to the doctor), but I did take the day off of work to relax and take it easy.

... And how did I cope with all of this? Not by eating! I stayed on plan and saw a one pound loss for my efforts, bringing my official weigh in for this week to 200 lbs. I tried and tried and tried to move the slides on my scale to 199.75 in hopes to claim onederland, but they simply did not balance. I am truly 200 pounds. I did however enjoy the fact that I was able to move the larger slide to 150 and then set the smaller one to 50. When I started, the large slide sat at the 250 marker, while the little one hovered at 32 (282). It feels awesome to have that large slide go from 250 to 200 and now to 150. I'll take that as a big enough accomplishment this week, all things considered.

I did my weekly food planning and shopping before the accident. Here is my menu:

B- Bacon & coffee (1 carb)
S- Coffee (1 carb)
L- Pork tenderloin (0 carbs)
S- Coffee (1 carb)
D- Protein, veggie, & condiment (6-11 carbs)
S- Evening snack (1-8 carbs)

Weekly goals:
Carb range = 10-22 carbs
Water intake = 40 ounces
Exercise = none this week because of the accident
Daily multivitamin and 5-HTP

Another positive thing to emphasize; I finally went and bought myself new bras, underwear, and t-shirts.

- My bra size has gone from a 44DDD to a 36DDD. Of course, the store did not carry ONE size 36DDD bra so I had to settle for a 38DD. Not perfect, but hooked on the tightest setting it is a big improvement on the ones I've been using.
- My underwear has gone from a size 11 to a size 8.
- I bought t-shirts in a 1x (size 16-18). I hade been wearing the 4x (size 26).
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Old 04-26-2013, 03:17 AM   #190
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ONEDERLAND!!!!!
199!!!!
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Old 04-26-2013, 04:15 AM   #191
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Trish....go to a doctor about your neck and back pain. Even if it's just a walk in place. If it doesn't clear up and you have to have treatment there is a new rule that limits coverage ( by the insurance company ) of treatment if you haven't seen a doctor within 2 weeks of the accident.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:21 PM   #192
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ONEDERLAND!!!!!
199!!!!
Congratulations!!!!! I knew you could do it!
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:33 AM   #193
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Trish....go to a doctor about your neck and back pain. Even if it's just a walk in place. If it doesn't clear up and you have to have treatment there is a new rule that limits coverage ( by the insurance company ) of treatment if you haven't seen a doctor within 2 weeks of the accident.
Hi Maria! Thank you for the sound advance (that I didn't follow). Luckily, I'm feeling fine.

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Congratulations!!!!! I knew you could do it!
Thank you Dianne!! It feels surreal!
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:16 AM   #194
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Another Sunday morning and OWI... 197 pounds, making it a grand total of 85 pounds down.

I have been keeping to Induction levels the past two weeks and can attribute my recent whooshing to that. I've decided to give Induction another week before climbing back up the ladder. I want to put as much distance between my weight and 200 as I can before I go back to the fluctuations that occur for me during OWL. I have been missing some OWL foods, so a return to it is definitely on the horizon, but since I seem to be doing OK in the Induction zone I will give it another week. I would love to reach 192 soon. That's the 90 pound club and gives me a decent buffer away from twoterville.

Here is this week's plan:

B- Bacon and coffee (1 carb)
S- Coffee (1 carb)
L- Country style pork rib tips (0 carbs)
S- Coffee (1 carb)
D- Protein, veggie, condiments, diet soda can (6-12 carbs)
S- Evening snack (1-8 carbs)

Carb range = 10-23
Water intake = 40 oz.
Vitamins = multi and 5-HTP
Exercise = I am totally off that wagon right now!

I've been keeping to the lower end of my carb range by eating a smaller portion of veggies with dinner and either skipping my evening snack altogether or choosing pork rinds to keep the carbs low. I still 'budget' for higher carb options at dinner and late snack so that I don't feel restricted or 'diet-y'. It is easier for me to CHOOSE to keep the carbs lower when I don't feel I HAVE to do it. Coo-coo, coo-coo!

For my veggie options this week, I picked up some asparagus for the grill or my trusty cauliflower to roast, and my new favorite finely shredded cabbage. I either sauté it in bacon fat or roast it with the cauliflower. Finally there are green beans as an option too. I do LOVE my veggies.

While grocery shopping yesterday, I found myself making a list of foods that I would like to start incorporating over the summer months. The smell of the fresh peaches and plums in produce made me realize I would like to enjoy fruit this summer while it is in season. I skipped them last summer and do miss fruit from time to time. Maybe it can be a weekend treat. That got me noticing other foods in the aisles as I shopped. Here is my OWL 'dream' list of foods to incorporate to my WOE this summer:

1. Fresh fruit
2. Flax
3. Greek yogurt
4. Legumes
5. Joseph's Flax & Oat Pita
6. Occasional LC/SF ice cream novelties

Because I know the items on this list would cause my weight loss to slow significantly, I want to try and work this Induction as long as I feel mentally able to do so to drop the weight down. That way I can enjoy these foods as part of my lifestyle without issue. I know some of these foods are more pre-maintenance/maintenance, but I think they could have a place in OWL if done in moderation.

As far as my departure from exercise... I don't know what is going on there. I just haven't been in the zone for it and to justify it, I've been telling myself that keeping to Induction with VLC it is not necessary to exercise too. The scale has been good to me without working out. At this point, I almost worry that getting back into it would increase my appetite and slow my weight loss. I don't want that right now. I think once I hit 192 and start working up the carb ladder, I will do something to increase my physical activity. I've been thinking of joining a gym or a place with classes (like Zumba). I've also considered trying some water aerobics, returning to my TaeBo DVDs (or ANY of my fitness DVDs), or getting back to my walks. I know it isn't all about the scale and I see a need to firm up my belly, thighs, and arms. It feels like a great fitness plan is part of the next stage for me and I am almost there. Maybe a six week challenge or something like that, complete with start and end measurements.

I really don't know, but I feel like I need to click with a plan and I feel it coming, but I'm just not there this week. I'll keep thinking about it.
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Old 04-30-2013, 01:48 PM   #195
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Splurged on three glasses of red wine last night! I ended up with a daily total of 35, but it was so worth it. Little did I know I would really need the buzz that the wine provided later in the evening when my bi-polar mom called me breaking down and using suicidal language. She is feeling better today, but I'm on the fence about Baker Acting her. To make matters worse, I tried to talk to DH about it but he went on a bit of a self-righteous rant that made me totally shut down emotionally. I've already been feeling a bit 'disconnected' from him lately, so that just made me feel more lonely.

I just came in here to vent a bit. I am not at all tempted to cope with food, but I also don't have anyone to talk to right now but myself! I thought it might be good just to get it out.

Looking on the bright side, I got a lot of compliments today. I know my weight loss must really be showing because people are seemingly genuinely shocked at how small I look these days. I'm even starting to hear comments that if I didn't lose any more, I look great as is. That feels good.
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Old 05-01-2013, 10:36 PM   #196
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Trish, congrats on getting into Onderland!!!!! It certainly sounds like your body likes what you have been doing the last couple of weeks. And if the compliments are coming in then that is awesome validation.

Sorry to hear about your mom. If she is using suicidal terms you probably should commit her, or let the state determine if she needs the commitment. If she really is suicidal then she'll get the help she needs and if she is just acting up to get attention she will know that doesn't fly with you anymore. Since you did not turn to food for comfort during all the stress you should be very happy with yourself as this is a big deal.
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Old 05-08-2013, 08:36 AM   #197
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I am here to document the fact that I’ve been slipping and not documenting, LOL. I have stumbled a little bit the past two weeks and I want a record of it for me to refer to in the future.

It started last Monday. I stopped after work and had a few glasses of wine (unplanned). That was the first time in weeks that my carb level went above 20 grams per day (my daily total was 35). I ate clean Induction levels for the following three days and then on Friday I went to 35 grams again and 30 grams on Saturday.

It is not that the 30-35 grams of carbs I ate Friday and Saturday is high… it is just that I was feeling like I was eating a little bit ‘on a whim’. I am not 100% sure if that is necessarily a problem (intuitive eating can be a healthy thing), but there was something about the way I was feeling that left me uncomfortable. It was sort of like I was throwing caution to the wind. I wasn’t measuring my portions, just eyeballing them. I ate 5 squares of Lindt in a day (one is normal for me). I told myself it was TOM, that it is OK to up my carbs now and again, that maybe my body needed a few higher carb days (all of which can be true and healthy under the right circumstances). My OWI was 198.5… up 1.5 pounds from the previous OWI.

Then came Sunday. I woke up and made my grocery list as normal, but did not plan my weekly menu. It was a busier than normal Sunday (I made two commitments I later regretted). I went to the grocery store and bought a pack of SF chocolate wafer cookies and a package of SF Russell Stover’s chocolates. Throughout the day, I ate them all. I bought them with the intention of eating them all in a day. There were binge feelings involved.

I then went to a party and did NOT eat the high carb foods (phew!) and instead stuck to the smoked meats and veggies. On the way home I went to a drive through for DH and decided to order a high carb meal for myself, but at the drive through they no longer had the fish sandwich I was hoping for so I decided to skip the splurge and I went right home on track. I was grateful that I didn’t just order a bunch of crap to binge on (which crossed my mind). When they didn’t have what I wanted, I took it as a sign to stop myself. (phew!)

I never recorded my food in my journal Sunday nor did I write my weekly food plan. On Monday I told myself to get back on track but again didn’t write my food or measure my portions. I eyeballed and ended up at 34 carbs… 18 of those coming from a PB & SF jelly on a flax pita. I fought the urge to binge all night.

When I woke up yesterday morning, I knew I was not being my healthiest and that it was a slippery slope. I immediately picked up my food journal and filled in the previous days (to the best of my recollection) and wrote out my weekly food plan. Yesterday I stuck to my normal routine, measured my portions, recorded my food intake in my journal, and stayed under 20 grams of carbs. Today I am on track to do the same.

I did still have some binge cravings last night. I know it is a combination of psychological reasons and physiological reasons. Physiologically, I have been eating higher carbs and it is fueling cravings. A few more clean Induction days under my belt will restore the ketogenic advantage in battling those cravings. Psychologically, I realize I said yes to a couple of things I wanted to say no too. I compromised and felt passive aggressive about completing them. I put my needs and wants second. It wounded the trust I have built with myself, but it did not break it!

I can only do better today. No dwelling or wishing I had reacted differently. I have reflected, I am learning, I will do better next time. This little ‘episode’ was a gift to show me that all of my decisions are important and that momentum (good or bad) is a strong force.

This was my confession and I do feel better for it! Back to ‘normal’… and healthy is my normal!! How cool is that?!
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Old 05-12-2013, 03:59 PM   #198
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Back on track with my Sunday routine. Official weigh in this morning was 198.5, same as last week. That still has me up a pound and a half but I am looking forward to seeing that gone next week and hopefully a smidgeon more with it. Made my weekly food menu, did my shopping, and prep cooking. Here's the plan:

B- flax cake with cream cheese and coffee (5 carbs)
S- coffee (1 carb)
L- chicken or pork with pesto (1 carb)
S- coffee (1 carb)
D- protein, vegetable, condiments, diet soda (6-10 carbs)
S- evening snack (1-8 carbs)

Daily carb range = 15-26
Water goal = 40 ounces
Activity goal = 30 minutes per day
Daily multivitamin and 5-HTP supplement

I have been back to my walks. Two days in a row I laced up the sneakers and went out for 30 minutes. I will continue that throughout the week.

I was torn about reintroducing the flax this week since I really want to keep the scale moving down and know Induction may be the best way to do that. But since I have been a little binge-y over the past couple of weeks, I felt it important to plan foods I know I will enjoy. So I included my yummy flax cakes and left some room in my evening snack for a choice as carb-y as my natural PB pudding with a square of 90% Lindt. I am hoping to see the scale move even with these choices. We'll see. More important than the scale budging is for me to feel balanced and healthy with my nutrition. The above menu provides that.

Just want to record the fact that I went to visit mom this morning with donuts and breakfast sandwiches and thoroughly enjoyed her company and my coffee. No splurging today... No urge to do so.
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Old 05-17-2013, 10:19 AM   #199
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Trish, congratulations on entering Onederland! That is fabulous! You are doing well considering all the stress you are under with your mom, the accident, work etc. Glad you are back to walking as that will help too. Keep on going in the right direction like you are doing - you know how to get to the destination already!
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Old 05-19-2013, 02:26 PM   #200
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Trish, congratulations on entering Onederland! That is fabulous! You are doing well considering all the stress you are under with your mom, the accident, work etc. Glad you are back to walking as that will help too. Keep on going in the right direction like you are doing - you know how to get to the destination already!
Gail!!! It is so nice to see you back!!

OWI today was 196, down 2.5 from last week. I guess that means the flax is OK for me to eat and still lose. This makes me VERY happy since I really enjoyed them for breakfast this week. Here is my plan for the week ahead:

B- Cinnamon & flax 'cheese danish' with coffee (5 carbs)
S- Coffee (1 carb)
L- Chicken legs & wings OR egg salad with mayo (0 carbs)
S- Coffee (1 carb)
D- Protein with veggie, condiment, and diet ginger ale (6-12 carbs)
S- Pork rinds (sweet or savory), PB with Lindt square, or ricotta with Lindt square (1-6 carbs)

Carb range = 14-25 carbs
Water goal = 40 ounces per day
Exercise goal = 30 minutes most days
Vitamins = multi and HTP

My 35th birthday is this week and I have asked for a bicycle. I used to LOVE riding my bike but haven't been on one since I was about 13. Since that age, my weight has stopped me. I am going to embrace my weight and healthy lifestyle and go for it now. I am going to get a cruiser so that it has a comfy seat and wide handlebars that allow me to sit upright while I ride. Hunching forward on a 10 speed is no good for my ample chest and bad back. I am so excited to take rides around my neighborhood.

I also have a food plan to deal with my birthday celebrations. On my actual birthday, DH and I are going to our favorite steakhouse for dinner. I plan to indulge in a glass of red wine, an appetizer to share, a taste of the bread, croutons on my salad, my favorite garlic mashed potatoes as my side, and then split a dessert. That one meal is the splurge... The rest of the day will be normal.

The day after my birthday, my mother is coming over for dinner. On that night I am planning on having pizza, a cupcake, and a small serving of ice cream. I am opting for cupcake instead of a birthday cake for portion control and getting a small pint of ice cream for the three of us to split to limit the temptation of leftovers. Again, the rest of the day will be normal but that will be my dinner. After that, the birthday celebrations are over and it is back to my choices supporting my weight loss efforts.

I went clothes shopping today since my 18's are too big. Unfortunately, most size 16's were a bit snug, so I am between sizes. I bet 4 more pounds makes the difference so I will focus on that in the weeks to come. I was able to get a few size 16 dresses though.
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Old 05-20-2013, 04:06 AM   #201
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Trish -- Happy Birthday to a fabulous, talented and versatile Gemini! Your birthday plan sounds great. I always think steakhouses are a smart choice for low carbers too and your meal plan sounds divine. It is great that you have a specific plan to let you have a small indulgence and then go right back to low carb eating. And congratulations on almost getting to a size 16 -- you are almost there and those 3-4 pounds make a big difference. You can drop that weight in less than two weeks and that will be a really wonderful birthday present that you give to yourself!
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Old 05-20-2013, 09:06 AM   #202
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Something occurred to me this morning and I wanted to document it;

Food is no longer the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.

It happened so gradually that I had not even realized it until today. For as long as I can remember, I would open my eyes in the morning and not want to leave the comfort of my bed. The first thought I would have was about what foods were in the kitchen. I would remember there were bakery cookies or leftover pasta or cold pizza, so I would shoot up like a rocket, swing my heavy legs over the edge of the bed, and waddle straight to the kitchen to start putting food in my mouth. Only the thought of food could lure me from the coziness of my bed to face the day.

This mindless routine was so automatic that many, many, many Monday morning diet starts were blown because I would not even remember I was going to start a diet that morning as the junk food was being swallowed. Of course, once I realized my error I had already eaten cake or candy first thing in the morning so I couldn’t possibly start my diet that day. It was blown. Better luck tomorrow… or next Monday… or after the next holiday… or, or, or…

So this morning I was (to offer full disclosure) peeing in the bathroom and thinking about the day ahead when this memory of me groggily putting Twix in my mouth before I even used the bathroom in the morning came to mind. That’s when it all came flooding back. The years of food obsession, being a slave to binging, cravings, compulsive eating, emotional eating, incessant thoughts, shame, guilt, secrecy, yo-yo dieting, and non-stop thoughts about food from the very moment I opened my eyes in the morning to planning my next binge as I drifted off to sleep at night. My mind and body felt like a prison to me… Alcatraz… no way out.

I am so grateful to have moved past that. I can’t even remember the last time a thought about food got me out of bed in the morning… unless you count coffee. Now I am free!! I escaped Alcatraz!!

Although it can be easy to focus on the changes in my body, the number on the scale, the number of my dress size, the number of carbs I ate today, etc., I am MOST satisfied with these kinds of changes in my life. These are the meaningful, long lasting lifestyle changes that lead to health and happiness. I am absolutely engulfed in gratitude today for where I am in my life in regards to my physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. What a lovely way to usher in my 35th year of life.
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Old 05-22-2013, 07:02 AM   #203
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I had a lovely birthday yesterday. I woke up to a very large bouquet of flowers, cards, my favorite SF Strawberry Crème chocolates, my favorite SF mints, and a handmade promissory note for a 30 minute massage.

After work, DH and I went to our favorite restaurant as planned. I ordered exactly what I said I would and enjoyed every bite of carbs and every sip of wine (2 glasses worth of sips)! We took the dessert home to split because by the end of the meal we were both feeling distress. I couldn’t believe how bloated my tummy felt! I wasn’t home long before I needed the bathroom (sorry, TMI!)… that made me feel ready for the dessert, LOL.

On the way home from the restaurant, we stopped to pick up my birthday present… my new bike! I attached a picture to show her off. I named her Rizzo because the black frame has some detailing on it that looks like tattoos and the seat looks like black leather, but the white and pink accents still make her a ‘pink lady’ at heart. I knew she was mine the minute I sat on her. We had gone to two stores and I tried several bikes, but she was the perfect fit. I got yelled in the the store for riding her around in the aisles LOL (I’m sure my playful behavior had nothing to do with the wine).

Once DH took her out of the car, I rode her in the dark up and down our street. I had the BIGGEST smile that I could not wipe off my face. It felt so good to be riding a bike again for the first time in 22 years. I honestly felt carefree like a little kid. I was a little wobbly the first time I went to pedal, but the saying is true… it’s just like riding a bike!

I have daydreamed about riding a bike again for over twenty years. Although I had gotten down to this weight a couple of times before, I still felt too embarrassed to ride one. I am so proud of myself for giving myself what I want and feeling comfortable and confident to enjoy myself and my body as it is today. I really feel like I am the best version of myself at this point in my life (even though I am not at my lowest weight). It makes me optimistic that as the years move on, I will only feel even more confident, more secure, and be even healthier. I do NOT look back at my younger years with a longing to return. This is where it’s at!

So today is birthday ‘part deux’ with my mom coming to visit. I am looking forward to her company but not at all obsessed with my dinner option tonight. I woke up, had my flax breakfast, started chugging water to flush the bloat, and am just looking forward to spending the evening with her. I am going to keep to my plan of having pizza for dinner and having the ‘Happy Birthday’ song and candle complete with the cupcake I have been coveting at the Publix bakery for two months… but I don’t feel at all unstable about it or worried about getting off track. This is a great feeling. Control of my food/nutritional choices!!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Bike.jpg (44.9 KB, 12 views)
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Old 05-22-2013, 08:28 AM   #204
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lurking ....... your journal is awesome and WTG on the birthday plan !! You are doing great..... Now, go ride that bike and smile while the wind blows through your hair !

Congrats !
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Old 05-23-2013, 04:53 AM   #205
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Trish, so glad you that you had a fabulous birthday -- you deserve it! Your new bike sounds incredible and will give you so much enjoyment and freedom. Plus it is a great way to celebrate your incredible personal growth, peace of mind and confidence.

Wishing you not only a Happy Birthday but your best year ever!
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Old 05-23-2013, 04:57 AM   #206
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I am LOVING that bike. You are fantastic, and I've loved following your journey. Your birthday sounded so perfect and I hope you have a great day!
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Old 05-23-2013, 06:25 AM   #207
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lurking ....... your journal is awesome and WTG on the birthday plan !! You are doing great..... Now, go ride that bike and smile while the wind blows through your hair !

Congrats !
Thank you so much for the support!

Quote:
Originally Posted by GailyGail View Post
Trish, so glad you that you had a fabulous birthday -- you deserve it! Your new bike sounds incredible and will give you so much enjoyment and freedom. Plus it is a great way to celebrate your incredible personal growth, peace of mind and confidence.

Wishing you not only a Happy Birthday but your best year ever!
Thanks Gail!

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I am LOVING that bike. You are fantastic, and I've loved following your journey. Your birthday sounded so perfect and I hope you have a great day!
It is a pretty spiffy bike, isn't it? Thank you!

Last night with mom was very nice. The meal/dessert was enjoyable, but it was a bit too much! At the end of the night, I was feeling grateful it was over so I could go back to ‘normal’. I made sure there were no leftovers for today just in case the physical cravings were bad as a result of the carb overload. No reason to keep a loaded gun in the house!

I woke up this morning and started the day with a 20 ounce bottle of water and some chicken. I plan on chugging water and sticking to mostly protein just to help rid my body of the toxins I consumed over the past two days and get back into ketosis ASAP.

As I maintain my healthy way of life/way of eating, I know I need to be realistic about the consequences of my choices when I choose to eat simple carbs & simple sugars. So, I won’t weigh until Sunday morning’s OWI and fully expect to see a few pounds up. I’ve made my peace with that already. Even though my birthday choices may have slowed down my weight loss for a couple weeks, it has provided me with other opportunities to work on my lifestyle maintenance skills.

It is my hope that when I weigh myself on the last day of the month of May, I am either back to my current weight of 196 or am even blessed with another pound of loss. If not, that’s OK too. Three years from now when I am maintaining my weight and healthy lifestyle, I won’t be obsessing over the fact that during the last two weeks of May of 2013, I didn’t lose any weight. It is important to keep the big picture in mind.

I’m off to chug my next 20 ounce bottle of water and have another coffee. Except for waking up with a fuzzy tongue, I must say I am feeling pretty good today and have not experienced discomfort, extreme hunger, headaches, or cravings (knock on wood).
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Old 05-23-2013, 09:24 AM   #208
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OK, 12:30PM and my stomach is clawing with hunger! Yikes, I don’t miss this feeling!! Time to go heat up some more chicken and get protein in my belly.
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Old 05-23-2013, 11:55 AM   #209
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Trish, glad to hear your birthday was so great. I love love the bike! It fits your personality. You have come so far and I learn just from reading your journal. I think you are gorgeous in your new photo. KUTGW!
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Old 05-24-2013, 09:20 AM   #210
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Trish, glad to hear your birthday was so great. I love love the bike! It fits your personality. You have come so far and I learn just from reading your journal. I think you are gorgeous in your new photo. KUTGW!
Thanks Dianne! I always appreciate your support.You are one of my major motivators on this board. You are a trailblazer for those of us that want to reduce our weight by 50%!!!
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