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Old 02-16-2014, 09:35 AM   #421
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*slinking back in*

Like the true addict that I am, I have been on a bender. I intended to pull myself together in the New Year. Then I intended to pull myself together when I started my new job. Instead I have been binging every chance I get. Drive-thrus. Conferences. Lunches. Sneaking snacks while preparing meals. Eating in the car on the way home from the grocery store.

Full blown binge bender.

The last time I checked my weight I was back up to 230. I haven't checked recently, but it feels like I am still there based on my clothes (18's are tight!). I do NOT want to know what I weigh and I do NOT want to know what I am losing.

What I want is to string together binge-free days. What I want is to get exercise every day. What I want is to feel free of the grips of this food addiction. Ketosis, I need you.

I leave for my European vacation in five weeks. I do not care what the number on the scale is the day I leave, but I do want to feel healthy and balanced in the knowledge that I have five weeks of clean eating and fitness under my belt.

During this trip there will be a lot of walking, stair climbing, and even a mountain hike. I want to enjoy it.

So, here I am with more good intentions. All I can say is I'm going to try again, but this time not focusing on the scale... Just my well being. Emphasize efforts, not results.

This week's food is prepped and here is my plan:

B: 2 hard boiled eggs with melted butter and coffee (2 carbs)
L: Ground beef & ground pork in melted butter with choice of cheese & seasonings (1 carb)
S: Decaf tea (1 carb)
D: Choice of protein, vegetable, cheese, and condiment (10 carbs)
S: Diet soda can

60 ounces of water
Walk Away the Pounds DVD in the AM (1 mile/5 days)
<20 carbs per day

I just keep telling myself that I only need to white knuckle through the first four days. Once ketosis kicks in, it gets so much easier to avoid binging. When I feel the binge monster rising within (and it will), I want to visualize myself in my airplane seat, greeting my in-laws when we arrive in England, walking the streets of Amsterdam, boarding a barge on the canal, hiking the hills of Cumbria, reaching the summit and looking around, taking pictures.

All of these things are going to happen. They can happen with me feeling bloated, ashamed, and uncomfortable in my skin OR they can happen with me feeling fit, confident, and at ease in my skin.

White knuckle it for four days Trish!!!!
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Old 02-16-2014, 12:24 PM   #422
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Friend, I am so glad to see you. I understand. I understand the "I will get started" and not being able to actually get started. I understand all too well.

I also understand that we can do this. We can. We have, and this part of why it's so hard. Because we know what we need to do and not doing it is just so frustrating.

I keep half-way doing what I should do. I'm so disappointed in myself, but I am also optimistic. We have done it. We can do it. We will do it.

Keep checking in. We will weigh after we've done what we need to do, and feel the clothes getting looser.
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Old 02-16-2014, 04:49 PM   #423
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JMacB View Post
Friend, I am so glad to see you. I understand. I understand the "I will get started" and not being able to actually get started. I understand all too well.

I also understand that we can do this. We can. We have, and this part of why it's so hard. Because we know what we need to do and not doing it is just so frustrating.

I keep half-way doing what I should do. I'm so disappointed in myself, but I am also optimistic. We have done it. We can do it. We will do it.

Keep checking in. We will weigh after we've done what we need to do, and feel the clothes getting looser.
Thanks. I am sorry you can relate.
I will keep checking in. You too!
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Old 02-16-2014, 06:12 PM   #424
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Trish I'm glad you are back. I'm sorry you are struggling so. Everyday is a struggle with this weight loss journey. It's so frustrating.
I'm attempting to just eat clean, no sugar, wheat, or rice and plenty of veggies. If I eat plenty of fat in the morning I seem to do alright for the remainder of the day. If not, I'm famished. I do have trouble in the evenings not snacking. And no matter how hard I try to like low carb desserts about the only thing I really enjoy is cheesecake. But I tend to overindulge. I always have good intentions.
Good luck friend, keep posting.
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Old 02-17-2014, 02:38 PM   #425
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Thanks jokath. I am going to try and keep the fats up to help during the first few days. Thanks for the tip.

Day 1 has been successful thus far. I woke up and immediately completed a mile of Walk Away the Pounds. I will just stick with that each morning this week as I create the routine of a morning workout. I think DVD's in the morning are a good fit for my current lifestyle. No worries about weather permitting, no gym membership fees, easy to switch up when boredom hits, and now that I work later each day it is best to get my exercise completed early. I have a variety of DVDs I like that varies from TaeBo, WATP, Cardio Pilates, and TaiChi. No VALID excuse not to do this.

Food today has been good.

B: 2 hard boiled eggs with butter and coffee with 20 ounces of water
L: ground beef/pork with butter, basil, garlic, and 1 ounce of Italian shredded cheese with 20 ounces of water
S: decaf tea
D: pork chops with 1 cup of Cajun roasted cabbage topped with 1 ounce of Gorgonzola with 20 ounces of water
S: diet ginger ale can

<10 carbs

2% carbs, 77% fats, 21% protein
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Old 02-18-2014, 08:58 AM   #426
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Trish, it is great to see you back again. You are doing really well with food and exercise plus your attitude is wonderful. Your European vacation sounds like heaven! Just keep that in the forefront of your mind the next time you want to eat carby food.
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Old 02-18-2014, 03:38 PM   #427
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GailyGail View Post
Trish, it is great to see you back again. You are doing really well with food and exercise plus your attitude is wonderful. Your European vacation sounds like heaven! Just keep that in the forefront of your mind the next time you want to eat carby food.
Thanks Gail. I keep thinking about the trip to get me through. A lot to look forward to. So far so good.

Day 2

Woke up early and exercised for 30 minutes. Food on plan too:

B: 2 hard boiled eggs with butter and coffee with 20 ounces of water
L: ground beef/pork with butter, chili pepper, and 1 ounce of gorgonzola cheese with 20 ounces of water
S: decaf tea
D: roast chicken with 1 cup roasted cauliflower with 20 ounces of water
S: diet ginger ale can

<10 carbs

3% carbs, 66% fats, 31% protein

I feel like I look awful. I am suddenly processing what I have done. I keep telling myself to just focus on moving forward. The only way out of this is to keep doing what I am doing. I will be back to my comfort zone soon and then all the way back to my summer low of 194 and comfortable size 16. No point wallowing... But damn my belly looks huge and my 18s are SNUG. I put on a skirt that HAD been too loose to wear and it was too fitted. I could zip, but it wasn't flattering.

So that sucks.

At least I caught myself before I was wearing a tight size 26 again. Look at the bright side, right?
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Old 02-18-2014, 09:19 PM   #428
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WHY?

Why is it that it is so easy to "GAIN" but
so hard to "LOSE"?

Your doing the right thing..getting right back
on track..what you have to do..when you eat
the wrong way.

What we ALL have to do. Sorry to say, we've all
been there. Good Luck and hard work
and you'll be down pounds for your vacation.
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Old 02-19-2014, 04:08 AM   #429
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Trish, you caught things just in time. You will be down to a skinny 16 in no time flat. Give yourself some credit for going back to low carb in a timely fashion.
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Old 02-19-2014, 06:20 PM   #430
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Thank you ladies!

Day 3

30 minute workout DVD in the morning. Check.
60 ounces water. Check.
Eating LC. Check.

B: 2 hard boiled eggs with butter and coffee with 20 ounces of water
L: ground beef/pork with butter, chili pepper, and 1 ounce of gorgonzola cheese with 20 ounces of water
S: decaf tea
D: steak with 5 mushrooms in butter and sour cream with 20 ounces of water
S: diet ginger ale can

<10 carbs

2% carbs, 69% fats, 29% protein

I woke up this morning with a faint 'odd' taste in my mouth. Then I skipped lunch and 'remembered' to eat four hours later. Also, I am peeing like a race horse. Ketosis, is that you?

I think I am close.
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Old 02-19-2014, 09:49 PM   #431
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Trish,

I don't comment often but I do read your journal when your posting. I'm rooting for you. Glad that your back.
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Old 02-21-2014, 03:16 AM   #432
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Thanks for the support Tanya!

I am still on track, but worked 15 hours yesterday, so no time to post! I'm gearing for another long one today, but DEFINITELY feel the effects of ketosis so I am handling it just fine (and loving the new position at work).

Driving last night I realized (again) that being in a state of ketosis is so healthy for me in so many ways. It made me think about how aggravated I get when my mother tries to function without meds (she has chemical imbalances). I often think that is is a matter of being responsible to take those meds to be able to function in life and when she doesn't make it a priority she is setting herself up for disaster.

Ketosis is my 'medication' for maintaining balance in my health. When I don't utilize it, I am acting irresponsibly in regards to my health and well being. Guess I need to get off my high horse when judging mom.
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Old 02-22-2014, 01:18 PM   #433
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It's hard to remember how good I feel when I'm eating right. This last week one of our clients brought my husband a German chocolate cake, my absolute favorite! By the time the week was over I had eaten 4 pieces of cake. I managed to get rid of the rest of it but I felt like crap, my joint hurt and I had a headache mist of the week and couldn't figure out why!!!! Dummy me!!! I'm eating really clean for the next few days. I have to remember that to my system sugar and wheat are like a bad drug.
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Old 02-23-2014, 04:44 AM   #434
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Trishthedish, I just wanted to also send you those "good vibes" of support and understanding.
I was having a discussion with a colleague the other day and we were taking about addictions. I told him I was a carbo-holic and have problems with portion-control. He understood since he had his own demons. But he said something to me that a lot of people don't really acknowledge (especially people who have never had a weight problem -- I hate them j/k maybe). If you're an alcoholic, don't buy the booze or go to the bar -- but you've got to eat!

I've yo-yoed with dieting my entire adult life. I am now trying to lose my last few pounds slowly, intelligently. But I NOW know that this WOE is not a diet it's my salvation, my key to being healthy, happy and thinner.
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Old 02-23-2014, 06:13 AM   #435
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Quote:
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Trishthedish, I just wanted to also send you those "good vibes" of support and understanding.
I was having a discussion with a colleague the other day and we were taking about addictions. I told him I was a carbo-holic and have problems with portion-control. He understood since he had his own demons. But he said something to me that a lot of people don't really acknowledge (especially people who have never had a weight problem -- I hate them j/k maybe). If you're an alcoholic, don't buy the booze or go to the bar -- but you've got to eat!

I've yo-yoed with dieting my entire adult life. I am now trying to lose my last few pounds slowly, intelligently. But I NOW know that this WOE is not a diet it's my salvation, my key to being healthy, happy and thinner.
Thank you Jokath and Jo! That last sentence really should be a bumper sticker. I am feeling exactly this way right now.

Yesterday I was looking in the mirror and having a heart to heart with myself. The gist of the conversation was 'eating LC is your medicine. Be a mature and responsible adult and take care of yourself by taking your medicine.' Since I don't want to be reliant on big pharma to manage my health issues, I need to do it myself and be diligent.

Today is day 7 of Induction and I feel like my normal, productive, and healthy self again. Cravings are gone. Energy is high. Thinking is clear. Physically, I am already looking better. All of it based on my food choices. Amazing!

Today is my day to plan, shop, and prep for the week. Here is what this week will look like for me:

B- Bacon and coffee with half & half (1 carb)
L- Shredded chicken breast with butter and choice of 1 ounce of cheese and seasonings (1 carb)
S- Decaf tea with half & half (1 carb)
D- Choice of protein, vegetable, cheese, and condiment (10 carbs)
S- Diet soda can

20 ounces of water with each meal = 60 ounces per day
30 minute fitness DVD each morning = 5 days per week
Carb range <20

In the freezer section at my Walmart Neighborhood Market, there are these little seasoning 'ice cubes' that you just pop out and add to a dish. I purchased three flavors: basil, chili pepper, and cilantro. I go ahead and cook up my protein for lunch for the whole week and portion them in storage bowls. Then each morning (or night before), I just melted the little flavor cube in some butter and poured it over the protein. Top with an ounce of complimentary cheese and it heats up just lovely at work. Last week I did it with ground beef and this week I will try it with shredded chicken. I got a lot of comments about how good my lunch smelled and looked. It was filling and very low carb.

So I am back in the saddle and feeling good. Four weeks until I am on my vacation and I am looking forward to it without and dread.
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Old 02-24-2014, 03:40 AM   #436
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That's an awesome plan trishthedish! For me, knowing what I am going to eat well before I get hungry has been a blessing -- IMO it wards off the chances of eating those toxic killer carbs. Every successful day is one day closer to accomplishing your goal(s). Actually it's every successful second, min etc...
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Old 02-25-2014, 02:48 PM   #437
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Trish, you are doing great! I love your strength and optimism and your plan is fabulous. Way to go, friend!
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Old 02-28-2014, 07:41 PM   #438
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I just realized that today is my two year LC anniversary.

I am so grateful for the journey I have taken and for the road ahead. A healthy LC lifestyle is certainly my new 'normal'. I no longer see it as a 'diet'. Sure, there are detours on any long trip, but I know the destination and feel comfortable with the pace I am moving at.

I haven't been on the scales, but I feel and see continued loss in the mirror and in my clothes. My 18's are no longer snug. I remember how cumbersome my day to day life was when I was in a tight size 26.

Two years! I can't believe I am here and saying that. Go me.
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Old 03-01-2014, 05:13 AM   #439
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I weighed in this morning to document my two year progress. I am 62 pounds down, weighing in at 220 and comfortably wearing my size 18s. I looked back on my entry for my one year anniversary and I was 207 in a size 18. Although a few bumps in the road have clocked me in 13 pounds higher than a year ago, I am pleased to be in the same size and to still be following the LC lifestyle.

I am taking this two year mark as a chance to renew. Instead of looking at all the ups and downs and trying to 'get back to my low', I am going to focus on where I am right now. The journey continues from here. I am 62 pounds down and a lot healthier than I was two years ago. How can I possibly judge that progress through a negative or judgmental lens?

Head up, shoulders back, and moving towards continued weight reduction, physical fitness, and nutritional eating... A healthy lifestyle!
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Old 03-02-2014, 09:12 AM   #440
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This Induction is going great. I have been using an app on my iPad to track my macros and have been averaging 11 carbs a day. Deep ketosis feels so good. I'd like to keep dialed in to my current progress, so I planned the upcoming week accordingly. Here it is:

B- bacon, egg, coffee with half & half (1)
L- chili pepper chicken salad with BC dressing (1)
S- decaf tea with half & half (1)
D- protein, vegetable, 1 oz cheese, condiment (7)
S- diet can

20 oz water with each meal
30 minute DVD/3 days

It is no secret that I am a coffee lover. I have manage to find a way to limit my coffee to one a day. I did this for two reasons: limits my use of half & half and lessons my caffeine consumption, which has improved my sleeping.

I bought a thermos tumbler that keeps coffee hot for four hours. I make my one coffee in the morning and nurse it till lunch. Since having a hot drink with DH after work as we talk about our day is such an important part of our routine, I switched to decaf tea at that point. Minor tweaks for great results.
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Old 03-02-2014, 02:23 PM   #441
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Yay Trish! I have sleeping issues too and cannot have coffee after 10:00 AM or else I get into trouble. You are doing great and your menus look terrific. So proud of you! xo
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Old 03-08-2014, 05:40 AM   #442
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Thank you Gail! I am getting to bed so much earlier and sleeping more soundly by limiting the caffeine.

I just completed my third week of Induction and still feel great. I had a few 'challenges' this week to test my resolve. (1) Coffee date at Panera with a friend. I avoided all liquid and solid temptation and opted to indulge in one extra classic coffee. (2) Pot luck at work which included a retirement cake amongst other carb laden offerings. Stuck to raw veggies, a deviled egg, and cheese and chose to splurge on a ranch dip for my veggies that I couldn't read the ingredient list on. Living on the edge, I tell ya. (3) Girls night out with a bunch of foodies. Nursed one drink all night (rum and diet) and ordered a bacon, mushroom cheeseburger sans bun. My splurge there was having coleslaw instead of fries not knowing all of the ingredients or measurements for the slaw. Anarchy.

Since I am dealing with TOM, I am not going to weigh this week. I feel good, people are commenting that I look good, and I know I have been eating healthy. The number is irrelevant.

So, I have two weeks left before my vacation and I'm going to make them count. Clean eating, all my water, move my body. When faced with a 'challenge' I will do what I did this week and just visualize my trip. I won't cheat myself out of that happiness!

This week's plan:

B- Bacon, egg, coffee with half & half (2)
L- 2 egg salad w/ mayo & ACV, and 1/2 c shredded cabbage (3)
S- decaf tea with half & half (1)
D- protein, vegetable, 1 oz cheese, condiment (7)
S- diet can

20 oz water with each meal
30 minutes of physical activity/3 days
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Old 03-10-2014, 05:00 AM   #443
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Cheering you on! You are doing great - really proud of how you resisted a LOT of temptation.
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Old 03-11-2014, 10:45 AM   #444
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Just wanted to comment on how terrifiic you are doing!!!! Great job on resisting the goodies at Panera!!
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:47 PM   #445
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Thank you ladies! I am still plugging along nicely. TOM has made me irritable, achy, and hungry. I did splurge on a few extra carbs for some natural almonds and walnuts along with some 90% Lindt. Still in ketosis and not off the rails. Some TOMs seem worse than others when it comes to my absolute need for chocolate.

I'm proud that I kept it LC and high in fiber.
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