ARIELLES JOURNAL

[Arielle]

I have made many attempts at journaling. I probably have close to a dozen notebooks and fancy journals. I don't seem to stick to anything. I sure hope this is the time I am able to keep going. My life depends on it.

Of course this is not my first time trying to lose weight. I have been to this site and made a few posts in the past, but things come up and I get distracted. Hoping this journal will keep me on track.

I am not really doing induction yet. I am trying to get the hang of 'gluten free'. Then I will ease into induction, although I am watching the carbs and keeping that below 50g for now. Gluten Free is the hardest thing I have ever attempted diet-wise. But I am so glad to have found out why I have been so ill for the last few years.

I have read many of the posts on Nutritional Ketosis. WOW!! That is much too complicated for me. Made my head swim just to read about that.

My highest weight was 213, at 5ft 2inches tall. I look like the doughboy. I was reading how some see themselves as thinner than they really are. That was true of me, as well. Then I saw some pics of a church activity. Could not believe how gross I am. It was like a slap between the eyes with the proverbial 2X4. I even considered stealing those pics from the church album. Instead I went home and cried.

Today I am 187lbs. I need to lose another 50. I know I CAN do it, but don't know if I will. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself. I have endured a lot of verbal abuse (and some physical) over the years. It has made me sceptical of my own abilities. I would like to somehow make my life more worth living. Thus this journal.

I am working on goals today. I plan to post them later.

[Arielle]

Been working on goals. I don't want to get overcome with failure so the goals must be achieveable. I really need some success to build up confidence. So here goes:

1) I will stay gluten free for the rest of this year, including the holidays. In order to do this I will search for and try new recipes for the things I will be missing.
2) I will keep carbs below 50g. and monitor to determine if I can lose at that level. I know if I feel deprived I will crash. I am amassing LC recipes from the internet to help. I am also considering buying a low carb cookbook, but can't really afford it at the moment.
3) I will get at least 10min of exercise twice a day. I have RA and fibromyalgia, so I need to start slowly and increase gradually.

I will amend these goals as I go along. I haven't decided how often to weigh in as I have 'scale anxiety'. But I probably should do it once a week, at least.

[Arielle]

Well it has started already. My DH is 75lbs overweight and not happy that I have intend to lose my excess baggage. He baked brownies. Very GOOD brownies. He knows I love them, but he also knows how the gluten hurts me. I need to figure out how to handle it when he tries to sabotage my efforts.

Tomorrow morning I have eye surgery to remove a cataract from my right eye. I made a cauliflower-ham-cheese casserole to pop in the oven for dinner. I will not get breakfast at all, and am taking an Atkins shake for after the surgery.

Today I had 2 fried eggs and bacon, low carb chili, a homemade enchilada.
I use black soy beans and shiritaki noodles in the chili with lots of large chunks ground beef and my own chili seasoning. The only carbs in the enchilada is the corn tortilla which is gluten free.

Did not get any exercise due to headache all day from the eye drops.

I expect to get my act together by the end of the week, after this surgery. It seems like something always happens when I decide to get myself on a path to heath and wellbeing. Maybe I do it to myself, I don't know.

[Arielle]

I may have started this journal a little too soon, but oh well. I have beeen reading up on JUDDD. It sounds very promising. I think that may be the route for me. I have been watching carbs for a while. I don't know about counting calories again. I did that a few times and never had any success.

I made a big boo-boo today. I had a slice of pumperknickle bread. Checked out the carbs and all, but did not look at ingredients. Turns out it is made with wheat and rye flours. DUH!! Now I am waiting for the result of consuming gluten. Crossing my fingers.

Had cataract surgery on Tues. and Wed. was Day of Atonement, so I am just now getting back to a normal routine. I hope I can get my act together soon.

[marylouise]

Arielle I hope you are still here........

[Arielle]

Par for the course, I have lost large chunks of my life 6 months at a time. Life just seems to get away from me.

My DH and I have been helping to care for an elderly couple with multiple health problems. The gentleman is chair fast, the lady has bi-polar. They both have mild to moderate dementia. It has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. It would take a book to describe the experience.

It has left me depleted. I am glad I did it, but it was harder than I expected. I have RA (20 years), Fibromyalgia and IBS. But even so I have always been the go-to girl when help was needed. (I am a retired nurse). Unfortunately, people don't realize that I am no longer a 'spring chicken'.

Soooo... I now find MYSELF debilitated. Trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps. Just spent 10 days in my chair for most of those days. Doc says the RA is quiet, but fibro is raging. Yesterday is the first out of the house in 10 days.

AND I am ready to get back on track. I have pulled out my acceptable foods list and today will work on menus. My DH is seriously overweight (as I am) but he is in 'diet denial'. He is also diabetic. I will probably be using this list for meals for one. I'm not the swiftest rabbet in the carrot patch, so low carb PLUS gluten free is HARD!

But I will do my best.