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Old 09-06-2012, 01:58 AM   #1
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My journey back,I want to remember....

Today I made my first post to the website and I feel the need to follow through with a journal to remember where I've been and be happy and thankful with my choices for change.

I want to remember that my knees hurt and I could hardly walk.. and finally 4 weeks ago I knew I had to do something no one could do for me but me. My left knee hurt so bad I didn't know if I could get it better without medical attention or not.......I now have less pain and am already walking better, I want to remember that.

I want to remember that I ate beyond crazy, bingeing on bread, sweets, anything carby and rich that calmed me, made me feel good, soothed my mental and physical pains....I want to remember that after 4 weeks of eating any amounts of protein, cheese, lettuce, and oils, I am no longer ravishing hungry and feel in control with my food today!

I will always remember that 3 years ago my oldest daughter passed away suddenly and I thought I would surely die myself, didn't care if I did other than I had 2 more wonderful children to live for even though, sadly, sometimes I just didn't care....I know that now but it has taken me a long time to know I want to live the best life I can for me because she would want me to ...and my husband and other two kiddos love me. The food numbed me. I want to remember that it was not my friend in the end. I have gained about 40 pounds.

With this said, I want to remember that I looked forward to my journey back to me as I remember me...in good health and hopefully weighing less and being able to walk without pain, feeling good about myself, loss of self esteem is not good thing, I want to remember that......

I had a good day, I managed my emotions and my stress today and my food was good. I am blessed.

Last edited by scalestepper; 09-06-2012 at 02:04 AM..
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Old 09-06-2012, 08:26 PM   #2
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Today was good.

I read a statement on some post several days ago, and I wish I could remember who posted it and it has become a mantra to me...thank you for posting this...

Being fat is hard,
Dieting is hard
Choose your hard.....

awesome, I think of every time I eat something or think of eating.

Dh was home today so we had a good breakfast together, 2 eggs fried in butter, 3 slices of microwave bacon; pulled pork and salad fur lunch; egg drop soup for dinner and omm for a late snack.

I am going shopping tomorrow to get some pantry staples, almond flour, more flax seeds, coconut flour...if anyone can think of something good please chime in, this is all new to me.

Have a good night and see you tomorrow night!
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Old 09-06-2012, 11:10 PM   #3
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I want to say and thanks for sharing your story.
Over the years I have come to LCF for support and inspiration.
I wish you luck on your weight loss journey.
Keep us updated.
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Old 09-07-2012, 04:03 AM   #4
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Hi scalestepper and I am so sorry to read about your loss of a child. I can't even imagine how painful that must be. I really admire your courage for deciding to live the best quality life you can going forward. I can relate to numbing with food and binging on sugarcarbies. I am fighting back from that myself. I too do best on low carb. You are among friends here at LCF, that's for sure!

Good luck on your journey,

DG
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Old 09-07-2012, 09:09 AM   #5
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Thank you so much sillykimmie and Doggygirl for your welcomes and support! I look forward to the things we can share. I am here to support you guys too! (((hugs)))

I do want to share a wonderful update that has just happened to me. Last night was the first night in about 2 years that I didn't have to get up to go to the bathroom, woohoo, now that's major for me. I slept 8 1/-2 hours. This is 4 weeks and 2 days on plan.

I also feel differently this morning, almost like an inch layer of me has been peeled away, something gone is the feeling and I'm loving that. OMgoodness, this woe is going to work for me too. I don't ever remember feeling that before.

I want to thank whoever created omm, I love them and dh likes them too. I don't think I've mentioned that he is really supporting me in this and agreeing to eat whatever. That''s more than 1/2 the battle won already.

I hope everyone has a good day and I'm staying close to choosing my right hard again today!
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Old 09-07-2012, 10:51 AM   #6
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Hi scalestepper! Wow I love your "tone of voice" today! Very motivating. You made me smile.

I put the sausage recipe you asked about in my journal - just wanted to give you a heads up that it's there now.

Would you mind sharing the OMM recipe you like best? There are about 10573956739 out there, LOL!

Today is OP for me too and I love that.

DG
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Old 09-07-2012, 06:47 PM   #7
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Hi scalestepper! Wow I love your "tone of voice" today! Very motivating. You made me smile.

I put the sausage recipe you asked about in my journal - just wanted to give you a heads up that it's there now.

Would you mind sharing the OMM recipe you like best? There are about 10573956739 out there, LOL!

Today is OP for me too and I love that.

DG
I got the recipe, thank you! I have my ground pork ready to go, I'm so excited about making them. I love to cook.

And, thanks for the smile.........

I have only begun making the OMM this week and this is how I'm making it:

1/4 c ground golden flaxseeds
1/2 t. baking powder
sweet n low, about 1 tsp (I buy it in the bulk box)
1 T coconut oil
a few drops vanilla flavoring
1 egg
sometimes I add in 1 T cocoa..

I put the coconut oil in the cup first,
add in the dry ingredients then stir in
the egg, and microwave 1 minute.

I bought some almond flour today and plan on trying
2 T of that along with 2 T ground flaxseeds.

I really appreciate your support, it's difficult to jump in when you're a newbie, thank you!
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Old 09-07-2012, 07:00 PM   #8
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Guess what I did today..............I got dressed! OMGoodness, is that not a stretch!

It's prob been over a year since I've put jeans and a shirt on when I go shopping. I've been wearing patio dresses thinking I was hiding in there somewhere I guess. I wore these jeans when I weighed about 201-220 so that gives me a pretty good idea how I'm doing and my blouse is 2x. I just feel like being/looking normal again!

I ran into a friend and she said I looked different, looked good, of course my smile was ear to ear.

I've dieted off and on for years, Weight Watchers mainly with a few stints with Atkins also going back to points and then getting messed up with the carbs again. Sometimes it seems to me that the moon almost has to be in the right phase when it's time for things to work right, I think I got a lucky moon this time.

Groceries are bought, plans made for some delish meals, making friends on the board, getting support, joined a no binge challenge, all systems go! I'm swimming......going for some salt to throw over my shoulder....
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Old 09-07-2012, 07:10 PM   #9
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Eating was good today,

B/B - OMM muffin, pat of butter
S - 2 turkey sausage
D - chicken breast, salad w bits of eggs/ham/cheese and turkey
about 1 T ranch dressing
S - 2 T Tree of Life almond butter, 6 raw almonds
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Old 09-08-2012, 03:36 PM   #10
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I'm so thankful that I began this woe and have made it this far. I slept good again last night and didn't have to get up again so maybe my pattern is changing. woohoo.

I can see differences already, my ankles aren't swollen and my feet look smaller, even the blood veins are showing up more. Little things, like I think my fingers are smaller too, I would love to wear my rings again....

Eating was good for me today,
B, 2 homemade sausage, Doggie girl, your recipe is so good, thank you! 1 mexican brownie,
L, 2 deli corned beef - cream cheese - dill pickle roll ups
S, 1/2 c coffee, 1/2 c almond milk, T cocao powder and sweet n low mixed together
D, sirloin strip steak w side salad. and my Snack will prob be jello.

The Mexican Brownies are an old recipe I have and there's prob one on the board like it but I beat 6 eggs, stir in 2 lbs of grated sharp cheddar and 1 can of chopped green chilis, put in a greased 9x13 and bake at 350 for about 30 mins. I cut these into 24 squares. They freeze well and are really handy to have especially now that I have my sausage cooked up. The original recipe called for colby cheese but I use sharp cheddar as it seems to satisfy with less.

I hope everyone is doing good and on program, have a good weekend!

Last edited by scalestepper; 09-08-2012 at 03:49 PM..
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Old 09-09-2012, 04:48 AM   #11
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[quote=scalestepper;15928415]It's prob been over a year since I've put jeans and a shirt on when I go shopping. I've been wearing patio dresses thinking I was hiding in there somewhere I guess. I wore these jeans when I weighed about 201-220 so that gives me a pretty good idea how I'm doing and my blouse is 2x. I just feel like being/looking normal again![quote]

That is SO AWESOME!!!!! FEELING good is really what it's all about, isn't it? Doesn't really matter about what size is on the tag or any of that stuff. I can relate - I just want to FEEL good in my own body again.

Quote:
I ran into a friend and she said I looked different, looked good, of course my smile was ear to ear.
WOO HOO! You made me smile again too!

Quote:
I've dieted off and on for years, Weight Watchers mainly with a few stints with Atkins also going back to points and then getting messed up with the carbs again.
Atkins is always what has worked for me. I veered off the rails a couple years ago (well, almost 3 years ago now) and then I thought I would try WW to "have my cake and eat it too." Me and carbs definitely don't get along. I was SO HUNGRY and just couldn't control my appetite and eating. It just got worse and worse the longer I tried it. Ugh. I'm grabbing onto your positive LC energy to help me get firmly back on track! Things are definitely going much better since a committment back to LC.

Thanks for the OMM recipe. I will have to try that! I've only made a OMM maybe once or twice and didn't even remember how it's been so long ago! Glad the sausage worked out. I might have to try that mexican brownie recipe for some food on the go.

DG
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:34 AM   #12
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[QUOTE=scalestepper;15929928]. Anyone reading, please correct this recipe to add 1 lb of cheese, not 2...so sorry, I was thinking about the 2 pkgs I added and it's not 2 lbs.

The Mexican Brownies are an old recipe I have and there's prob one on the board like it but I beat 6 eggs, stir in 2 lbs of grated sharp cheddar and 1 can of chopped green chilis, put in a greased 9x13 and bake at 350 for about 30 mins. I cut these into 24 squares. They freeze well and are really handy to have especially now that I have my sausage cooked up. The original recipe called for colby cheese but I use sharp cheddar as it seems to satisfy with less.

QUOTE]
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:41 AM   #13
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[QUOTE=Doggygirl;15930564][quote=scalestepper;15928415]Atkins is always what has worked for me. I veered off the rails a couple years ago (well, almost 3 years ago now) and then I thought I would try WW to "have my cake and eat it too." Me and carbs definitely don't get along. I was SO HUNGRY and just couldn't control my appetite and eating. It just got worse and worse the longer I tried it. Ugh. I'm grabbing onto your positive LC energy to help me get firmly back on track! Things are definitely going much better since a committment back to LC.

DG[/QUOTE

Good morning DG, why do we not stay with what works? I so agree with how I deal with WW, let's don't go back to that again, let's make a pack to stay on low carb and not be hungry and craving food 24/7. There's such a peace that comes with letting go of the hungery.

I will be glad when I get this quote thing down correctly lol...
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:03 AM   #14
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W.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l...day today, spirits good, on program and a Saturday night with no binge, My steak was so good I didn't even eat the jello. I made a reuduction of whipping cream to go with it, yummy! I was in bed by 11. happy, cozy and satisfied.

I am tweaking more than food now, working on getting all my ducks in a row.

I am addicted to the food channel; Diners, Drive-ins and Dives and Chopped, just love those shows...so I got to thinking, why punish myself right now watching things about this enemy of mine, food, sooooooooo, I haven't watched the last two nights, going to break that habit and visit with friends while winding down. I read on the forum last night, reading ppls posts and gaining more insight.

Today I am going to make a chili, I really do well eating that, so easy and always there, A little cheese and sour cream, yummy.

DG, I'm so glad I've met you, thanks for the support and sharing. I need really need it. I thought of you yesterday as we took down our tomato plants, they have been so good this year. I didn't can any like you did but we sure enjoyed them and dh loved giving them away to friends.

Well, I'm off for coffee, let's be good to ourselves today, kick the carbs......
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Old 09-09-2012, 07:18 AM   #15
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Finding Nemo quote...
Dory: Hey there, Mr. Grumpy Gills. When life gets you down do you wanna know what you've gotta do?
Marlin: No I don't wanna know.
Dory: [singing] Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:23 PM   #16
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It was such a good Sunday, still binge free and on program, thank you Lord.

I did make my chili and it was so good, a good safe meal for me so far and d/h and I and the dogs had a good long nap after feasting.

My menu today was:

B - 2 homemade sausage, 1 sq mexican brownie
S - OMM, pat of butter
L - homemade chili, cheese, sour cream seasoned with dry ranch dressing
S - 0
D - rotisserie chicken breast, (chicken salad made with seasoned sour cream,
dill relish, almond slivers and mayo)
on a bed of lettuce shreds
S - lime jello, T hwc

I don't know how I would make it without that OMM. There are a couple things that just hit the spot at certain times and that's one. Another is egg drop soup when I'm feeling down or my stomach doesn't feel good, that works wonders.

I saw that a lady was going to make buffalo chicken in a crockpot and that sounded so good, I googled a recipe, any of you guys make it? I even thought today, wow, I can have chicken hot wings guilt free, that's next on my grocery list.

Tata for now, have a good one!
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Old 09-10-2012, 06:10 PM   #17
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Good day with food.

Kind of a boring day, the deck needed power washing and more details to back yard cleanup. Dh is home this week so we are napping at odd hours.

My menu today was:
B 2 eggs fried in butter, 3 slices microwave bacon
S coffee w T hwc/t of cocao/sweetnlow/fiber
L bowl of homemade chili, cheese, sour cream
S 0
D pan grilled salmon filet/shrimp with onion,garlic, hwc dill sauce
cole slaw
S 2 T almond butter
almond milk w cocao,sweetnlow
If I get the munchies tonight, it will be pork rinds and sour cream dip

Maybe early to bed tonight, hope anyone reading is having a good day!
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Old 09-10-2012, 06:44 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by scalestepper View Post
let's make a pack to stay on low carb and not be hungry and craving food 24/7. There's such a peace that comes with letting go of the hungery.
YOU GOT IT!! It's a deal!

Quote:
Originally Posted by scalestepper View Post
I am addicted to the food channel; Diners, Drive-ins and Dives and Chopped, just love those shows...so I got to thinking, why punish myself right now watching things about this enemy of mine, food, sooooooooo, I haven't watched the last two nights, going to break that habit and visit with friends while winding down. I read on the forum last night, reading ppls posts and gaining more insight.
I think it's awesome that you noticed a habit that does not support your new goals, and you are working to change it! I love reading posts here and also reading related blogs just to learn more! That beats torturing ourselves watching sugarcarbies on TV, doesn't it!

Quote:
Today I am going to make a chili, I really do well eating that, so easy and always there, A little cheese and sour cream, yummy.
Hope that turned out good! I need to make some soon!

Quote:
DG, I'm so glad I've met you, thanks for the support and sharing. I need really need it. I thought of you yesterday as we took down our tomato plants, they have been so good this year. I didn't can any like you did but we sure enjoyed them and dh loved giving them away to friends.
I'm so glad we've connected!!! I was out in my garden today pulling out some of the plants that are finished and picking what seems like the last of the tomatoes. I feel a mix of happy (that the hard work is almost over) and sad (that the fresh vegs are almost gone).

I'm really glad you are doing so well!!! You are giving me a lot of hope and encouragement that I can do it too.

DG
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Old 09-11-2012, 06:27 AM   #19
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YOU GOT IT!! It's a deal!

DG
Now that's a recipe for success DG!!!

I didn't have to have my snack last night,

There were a couple of ho hum times, watching unintersting footballs games, one pretty good movie with Duval, strange movie, etc that I could have played with appetite...but I tried to tune in to my true hunger and it wasn't there. I did watch Dr. Oz about the green tea extract and part of a hoarder show and part of an intervention show, jeez, so many sick, unhapppy, sad ppl in the world how can I complain?

We slept good last night, 8 hours again but I did have to get up once. Something was going on my with legs and feet last night, upper legs aching and the bottom of my feet burning. I laid down on the love seat and propped my feet up and they got better so I guess it was circulation, I don't know.

I am not hungry this morning, not at all....I have no meals planned which isn't good.

Guess I'll be back later with the verdict. 9/11 such a sad day......
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Old 09-11-2012, 09:23 AM   #20
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Now that's a recipe for success DG!!!

. I did watch Dr. Oz about the green tea extract.....
Not green tea, it was green coffee bean extract.
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Old 09-11-2012, 05:00 PM   #21
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I am still on program, no binges, food is good.

Slow day for us, took a nap this afternoon, my stomach is kind queasy but I expect that with this woe ever so often.

I almost weighed yesterday but just couldn't do it. My mindset is good, I feel/look smaller, I just couldn't let that scale be the measure of my program yet.

I did order a bottle of the green coffee bean extract and I'm excited to get that, the control study group lost an average of 2 lbs a week, not changing their woe but keeping a food journal. I don't usually take things like that but Dr. Oz devoted a whole show to it and even did the control study, I will see if they help me.

Today my menu was:

B 2 eggs fried in butter, 2 sausage
S cream cheese/sweetnlow
L 2 deli smoked ham/cheese rollups, coleslaw
S
D Schwan's Angus chopped steak, au jus,
green beans and coleslaw
S omm, pat of butter (maybe)

See you guys tomorrow, have a good one!
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Old 09-11-2012, 06:58 PM   #22
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Not green tea, it was green coffee bean extract.
Let me know how that works for you! My mouth started watering when I read about your steak!

You are right - we have much to be grateful for.

Those hoarder shows are downright scary. What is even scarier is my husband's "man cave" aka our basement! He almost qualifies as a hoarder I think.

Hope you get a good night sleep! I'm heading that way now. I have a big presentation at school tomorrow afternoon so tomorrow will be a big (and long) day. Sleep please come!!

DG
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:49 AM   #23
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Good morning and thanks DG for dropping by to say hello. I hope your presentation goes good for you, tomorrow, it will be behind you!

Yes, that show is overwhelming, it makes me feel good about my housekeeping which isn't up to snuff these days but I am hoping for a rebound on that. Lol about the man cave.

I hate these screwed up hours and being off schedule but it hasn't affected my food so far.

Last night I didn't have the omm, I was hungry for salty/savory...so, I mixed some flax meal with almond meal, water and salt and microwaved it and had some pretty good little crackers, it satisfied me.

A new day, hope it's good! Later........
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Old 09-12-2012, 07:59 PM   #24
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I lost my post..

Anyway, I've had a good day on program. Dh bragged on me for how good I've done and that was special!

It's the end of week 5 for me tonight, my new week starts tomorrow. What a blessing this is and has been!

My menu today was:
2 fried eggs, 3 bacons;
OMM;
bowl of chili, sour cream;
coffee with hwc
boiled shrimp, ham and cheese rollups
I didn't get any veggies in today

Here's to tomorrow!
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:18 AM   #25
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I lost my post..
Hate when that happens!

Quote:
Anyway, I've had a good day on program. Dh bragged on me for how good I've done and that was special!
Isn't that an awesome feeling when DHs are proud of us and say so!!!!

[qutoe]It's the end of week 5 for me tonight, my new week starts tomorrow. What a blessing this is and has been![/quote]

You are doing so fabulous! Here's to another good day today and a good week!

DG
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Old 09-13-2012, 10:52 AM   #26
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week 6, day 1

Thanks for dropping by DG, I so appreciate and need your support! I'm glad you are doing good and making wonderful strides in both your eating program and personal goals.

Thank you Lord for this day! It is the beginning of wk 6 for me on no whites, low carbs and it is awesome. The peace that comes with no starving hunger and binges is such a good feeling. I'm at peace with food today, at this moment!

Busy, busy day. We slept late, ate breakfast, had a long visit with a bil, now I need to get the house ready for our annual pest extermination, and tomorrow will be busy as it's my day to journey out, beauty shop and grocery store which wears me out. I'll be glad when it's easier and ...it's getting easier. I wish I didn't borrow stress from tomorrow and would just live with today, I also wish I didn't procrastinate.

I did a lot of reading online yesterday, wheat belly, etc and can see how all this evolves with our health and food. Some good stuff out there. Isn't the internet wonderful, a library in the sky.

Well, I'm off to get things done, let's keep the faith and stay on program!

: swimming swimming!
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Old 09-13-2012, 11:02 AM   #27
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in additon, one week on LCF!
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:58 PM   #28
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I hate housework.... But since I like to eat and cook, what to do?

Dh is unloading the dishwasher so I'll go finish up the kitchen for the night.

Good day with food:

2 eggs, 3 bacon
sauted cabbage with bacon grease and ham.
coffee w hwc
bunless hamburger
omm made with cream cheese, not as good as with co.

I guess I'll sign off for the night, good luck to everyone!
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Old 09-15-2012, 03:43 PM   #29
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I had such a good day Friday, busy, busy, off to the beauty shop and grocery store and stopped by the health food store. I am working on stocking my pantry with low carb goodies, today I got soy flour, xylitol and was waking to get some of those miracle noodles but they didn't have any, they just had the miracle rice so, what's the difference, it will be a good way to try them.

I have read that sometimes the pains we have in our knees etc may be gout and since I've always tested high with uric acid I decided to buy some Black Cherry Extract, I hopefully it will do a good number for me, if nothing else than lower my counts.

I just could hard eat Friday, no appetite whatsoever.

2 boiled eggs, pat butter; chicken leg; omm w pat of butter, another boiled egg, that was it. Now I'm not complaining, I'm just rolling with the flow of this woe and loving the no hunger between meals.
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Old 09-15-2012, 04:04 PM   #30
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Fast forward to today.....woohoo, a victory for me! No binge day alone.

Dh had to be out of town and I have always taken those times to have self-induced binges, a big pot of chicken and dumplings, etc things he doesn't like and things I love love and they always love me back with a soothing feeling, I would imagine much like drugs or alcohol do for others, maybe not the same but still much the same in a way. NOT TODAY!

Coming off of a no hunger day yesterday, I was afraid I might be tempted so I bought a rostisserie chicken, smoked brisket, prepared salad, things to not have to cook but with a plan. I also had boiled eggs.

Bingo, it's a good day.
2 eggs w pat of butter;
egg;
2 ham/cheese rollups
miracle rice chicken soup
prob chicken salad for dinner
and a omm if hungry later tonight.

I love the miracle rice!!! I am so glad and I'm going to order the spaghetti, just need to google some utubes to get some good low carb ideas. You know, the smell only lasted for a few seconds while rinsing them, no biggie, then I sauted them in a little garlic, oo, a few drops of sesame oil and a spoon of chicken seasoning, then added some water to make about 1-1/2 cups of soup, seasoned it with a new spice I found, Slap yo mama, and it was so good, like a comfort food. I'm glad to have found this new food item.

I took another dose of the cherry extract, expecting a miracle Well, I do have faith.

It's really been a nice day!
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