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Old 10-24-2012, 11:57 AM   #361
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Thanks portcop and scalestepper. I seemed to have turned a corner today (day 4) as far as hunger being much more manageable. I am losing the water weight today too, so I will probably now see some losses starting to happen.

DG- Hope you are doing well! I know Wednesday is your busy school day.
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Old 10-25-2012, 01:34 PM   #362
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DG
Where are you! Come in and say Hi!
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Old 10-31-2012, 01:35 PM   #363
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woohoo!!!!!!!!! missing you dg!
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Old 11-28-2012, 04:59 AM   #364
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DG hope you're doing well!
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Old 06-14-2013, 05:23 AM   #365
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Hi Journal. I'm coming back to you.

I really debated over resurrecting you Mr. Journal. I don't really like reading back about all my struggles and failures over the last....well....it's been a long time now.

Low carb is the only thing that has ever worked so it's the only sensible thing to do. I think I've basically known that for a long time but was maybe holding out a SMALL...teeny...amount of hope that I could somehow "control" my eating while including fruits and other sugarcarbies in my eating plan.

It just doesn't work.

Period.

It's been a struggle to get back to LC with the horrible cravings that are well known to all who travel this road. I've been reading a lot on the NK threads and have really cut back my carbs to a VLC level over the last several days. It's getting better as far as hunger and cravings go. My scale weight has been hovering mostly in the low 180's lately. I was quite happy today to step on the scale and see 179. That was the moment I knew I would come back to this journal - I guess I was waiting for confirmation that LC does indeed work for me.

I'm older now and I don't know where this will all end up weight wise. I DO know that my health will be better and my hunger/cravings will be better and many things will be better if I just focus on eating LC and let the scale chips fall where they may. I'm praying for the willingness to follow and trust the process.

Today's b-fast:
2 eggs
1 T butter
2 slices bacon
1 slice Julian paleo almond bread

Low in carbs. Modest in protein. Higher is fat. Life is good.

Off to internship.

DG
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Old 06-14-2013, 07:15 AM   #366
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Me to I've been so bad the last few months. Get back on track
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Old 06-14-2013, 06:24 PM   #367
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Hi Portcop!!! So awesome to *see* you. How are you doing? I saw some of your posts while reading the NK threads (I think that's where I saw you!). You look GREAT in your avatar!!! Look at your stats. You have come so far. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Also a shout out to Jeannie - I've seen some of your posts too and haven't had a chance to catch up with you!

Scalestepper I hope you are still around and I need to look for you!

Leo not sure if you will see this but I REALLY look up to you in the ever humbling journey / battle of the bulge. So big shout out to you too!

I am very happy with my day today food wise. I packed lunch and also took a snack (a smart thing for me to do always - NOTE TO SELF!!). Good thing about that snack since I had an appointment after work that ran late. I had a plan for dinner which involved cooking but I didn't get home until after 7PM and was famished, so went with some "ready to eat" food. (organic beef summer sausage - no sugar, cheddar cheese, avacado) Lots of FAT today.

macros:

F: 144g
C: 38g, 22g fiber, 16gnet
P: 94g
Cals 1804

I am trying right now to keep PRO around 100, carbs 20 or less net, and the rest fat. I'm trying to allot myself calories in this higher range - I'd even be fine up to 2,000 - until I get over the hump and get adapted back to low carb. I think a big mistake I have made in the past is this scenario:

1. Eat off plan.
2. Gain weight.
3. Freak out.
4. Try to go back to LC but targeting too low calories to start with.
5. Get too hungry.
6. Go to #1.

etc.

While I will be thrilled with any scale movement, I am honestly so sick of feeling hungry much of the time, then binging, then flogging myself. I'd rather not lose an ounce and stay this weight and find a way to kill the hunger and cravings, which I believe can eventually happen with LC if I do it right. "Right" for me right now involves more calories than I feel I should be eating. But I'm determined to stick with it. The cravings (especially bad in the afternoon) feel like they are diminishing. This weekend will be a test since I will not be working in the afternoons.

Somehow I think it helps me to put this stuff in writing. I hope journaling these thoughts help me formulate the best possible plan and then stick to it.

DG
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Old 06-15-2013, 05:46 AM   #368
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Weight 178.6

I'm happy with Mr. Scale today.

I want to journal a bit about how I feel when I eat LC. My tummy is so quiet (unless I eat something with nasty sugar alcohols, LOL). I love that. I need to remember that when I eat grain products I end up with gas, aches in my digestive area, etc. LC keeps things so calm on my insides! I need to remember that benefit. Sometimes it's easy to forget the ABSENCE of something negative.

I have a lot of trouble staying asleep (menopause related stuff I guess) but eating sugarcarbies makes sleep a total nightmare. SO restless and fitful. And if I binge on sugar there are feet cramps and all that. LC helps me sleep SO much more peacefully.

I think the obsessive food thoughts are diminishing a bit. YAY!

Well, off to make some bacon and eggs. I want to keep recording thoughts that will be helpful when I read them back alter to remind myself why it's so important that I do this.

DG
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Old 06-15-2013, 11:49 AM   #369
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Hi DG

Not much progress myself in stopping the binges/overeating. I sometimes manage a couple of good weeks, but then blow it all to heck. The hardest part for me right now is finding the mental energy to plan my woe and then stick with it long enough to determine whether or not it is working for me. The pessimistic thinking I know robs me of any energy to plan. I haven't binged for a few days thankfully, but know I do need to take off some pounds so a plan is in order. I have really noticed a decline in my health and the ups/downs of bs spikes effect me more so the last few months than they have in the past. I joined TOPS with my sister a few days ago...will see how that goes.
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Old 06-15-2013, 06:20 PM   #370
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Hi Jeanie! I really know what you mean about frustration with binging. I'm trying to accept that for now, my #1 priority has to be eating healthy food (which I am also accepting as low carb food, for me). I need to eat enough to stay comfortable so I don't get hungry and snap into binge mode. Weight loss has to be a distant secondary goal right now. (I too want to lose weight though and am always happy when the scale cooperates, LOL!)

I am very interested to hear how you like TOPS. One of the things I always liked the most about WW was the group support - connecting face to face with other women who have similar issues with food. I have also tried OA and just can't connect with it. (even though I go to AA....go figure!)

Well - let's make a good plan with plenty of nutritious food in it, OK?

The hardest thing about today was picking gobs of strawberries out of my garden and cleaning them all up! Of course, I ended up eating some with about 1/2 c. of yogurt. That was not on my plan but I'm OK with it. At least it wasn't a bag of oreos LOL!

I also tended my rose bushes which I find very relaxing and therapeutic. I just sort of zone out and really like the time I spend doing that.

Another thing that is new for me is playing piano. I started taking lessons in January. LOL I'm the "old lady" walking in amongst the little kids at the music store! Anyway, I'm very much a beginner but am really enjoying learning to play. I really like classical type music and even som old hymns. I've been working on the slow part of Moonlight Sonata - pretty ambitious for my non-existant skill level but I just keep working on it. And today I rummaged around through an "easy" book and decided to start working on Canon in D. That will keep me out of trouble for a while! LOL - can't eat while my fingers are busy on the piano!

DG
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Old 06-16-2013, 05:50 AM   #371
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181.0

After the strawberries and yogurt yesterday, I experienced the "stinkin thinkin" that says "well, you might as well eat some popcorn..." I wouldn't call my eating yesterday binge eating by any stretch, which I suppose is a positive. However the salty/carby popcorn sure packed on some water weight.

I guess I should focus on the GOOD news part of not allowing that stinkin thinkin to REALLY turn south on my. I DO have a choice what I put in my mouth and I'm going to make low carb choices today.

DG
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Old 06-16-2013, 07:17 AM   #372
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I've been reading and reading in the NK threads. I think my biggest difficulty sticking with LC (or anything else such as WW) is the hunger & cravings I experience. I have GOT to get over that hump!! I know LC is the way.

At any rate, I was not very hungry this morning (surprising after popcorn last night!!) and decided to give bullet proof coffee a try before I leave the house rather than the usual bacon and eggs. This is my first time trying it!!

I have tried melting CO (which I love) in coffee before and :yuck: is all I can say to that. So I've been hesitant to even try BPC.

I put 2 T CO, 4T HWC, 8 drops of vanilla flavored liquid stevia, and about 8 oz decaf coffee in the Vitamix and whipped it good. YUMMO!! I did nuke it a few seconds to get it nice and hot.

I will be interested to see how that holds me, although today might not be the best example. I know I will need to try this as I (hopefully) get fat adapted.

DG
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Old 06-16-2013, 07:28 AM   #373
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Hi Doggygirl-
Good to see you back, and thanks for the shout out!

I've recently been bothered by 'obsessive' food thoughts, and I have to constantly rein myself in. A couple of days I found myself eating more for my formerly obese body than for NOW, and I hate that. I have been maintaining for almost 3 years, and I'm not going to regain any weight now.

Why do these things happen? I guess I have to reconcile myself to the fact that the morbidly obese me still lives here, and I have to keep her under control.

I've always known that weight management would be a lifetime project, but I didn't expect it to be this challenging. Like you, low carb is my only choice. I can't eat any other way, and I really can't complain because I love meat, fish, and eggs. I just wish my 'lower brain' would stop trying to get me to eat those carbs!
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Old 06-16-2013, 01:40 PM   #374
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Leo!!!!! Very nice to *see* you!! I think you are so right that the "lower brain" just doesn't forget. I'm sorry to hear you've been fighting it lately. It sounds like you are determined and WINNING and I'm really happy to hear that. You are a shining example of what is possible on this journey and I look up to you!

I've often wondered if I didn't set myself up for a lifetime of eating problems when I "dieted" myself into anorexia as a teen. I wonder if my lower brain got conditioned back then to believe starvation was right around the corner. I guess it doesn't really matter now - water under the bridge and I just have to deal with what "is" in the here and now. Makes me wonder sometimes though.

So far so good today on my plan. Had a ribeye for lunch from the local cow plus a small salad. I ended up feeling full before I was finished with the steak so gave the rest to DH. Probably had about 4 oz.

I need to get busy and study for a certification exam I'm hoping to take next month. It's more fun to read posts than to study.

DG
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Old 06-16-2013, 03:16 PM   #375
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DG- Don't worry too much about what you did as a teen. I've read that so many teens flirt with anorexia and/or bulimia, and scientists have determined that there's no lasting effect on the body.

The other 'good news' is the plasticity of the brain. Every time we make a 'good choice' we reinforce that in the brain and lessen the 'grooves' we've established with so many bad choices. Eventually, we can wipe out the effect of those bad choices, if we are consistent with good choices. That's what I'm trying to do.

I find that being aware of my 'self-talk' helps. That is, sometimes I let the 'lower brain' do all my inner talking, and it's telling me that I really deserve some ice cream today. And before I know it, I'm convinced that it would be a good idea to get a pint of Ben & Jerry.

I need to be more assertive and tell myself, "Don't listen to that dork. Ice cream is the last thing you need--unless you want to return to morbid obesity."
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Old 06-16-2013, 06:27 PM   #376
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I'm glad to hear that teen stuff is probably not lasting.

If you find a way to get your lower brain to SHUT UP please let me know how you did it! What is it about Ben and Jerry's that is like the call of the wild to the lower brain, anyway??????

I got my first shellac type manicure today. I had no idea (until I read about it here at LCF, LOL) there was an alternative to the dremel nightmare acrylic thing. I really liked it so I came home and ordered up the stuff to do it myself. I hope it doesn't all end up under that bathroom sink never to be seen again!

Well, I'm off to the showers.

DG
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Old 06-17-2013, 04:52 AM   #377
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DG- It's always nice to know that there's someone who also understands that 'call of the wild.'

I doubt that I'll ever be able to totally shut off that lower brain, but I really, really need to mute its voice.

With my history of obesity, it doesn't take much off-plan eating to add on pounds, and I never want to go back there. So I have to keep after that "voice" that tries to convince me that a date with Ben and Jerry is a good idea.

I'm finding that unless I monitor and control my thoughts, the lower brain gets so strong that I'm powerless to resist it.

We need to stick together in shutting that guy up!
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Old 06-17-2013, 07:23 AM   #378
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Welcome back DG, so good to see you!
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Old 06-18-2013, 04:35 PM   #379
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo41 View Post
DG-
We need to stick together in shutting that guy up!
YES!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by scalestepper View Post
Welcome back DG, so good to see you!
It's good to see you too! How are you doing?

I don't know why but I've spent HOURS reading JUDDD threads in the last 24. It seems I come across so many posters whose stats indicate SUCCESS on JUDDD.

I'm going to keep reading.

DG
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Old 06-19-2013, 04:07 AM   #380
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DG-
Have you ever done JUDDD? I ask because the plan's developer warns that it can be a hazard for anyone with binge tendencies.

I did JUDDD 'religiously' for over 2 years, and lost my final 100 lbs, but I did it very low carb, and the only reason I used it is because my calorie level has to be very low (even in maintenance). It's tough to eat just 900 cal a day, but I did JUDDD at 400/1400, and that worked great for me, especially since many of my UDs were only 1200.

During the time I was involved with JUDDD, a lot of women with a history of binge eating insisted on trying it and crashed and burned. Apparently the restrictions of those DDs can easily lead to binge eating.

Keep in mind that JUDDD is basically a form of calorie restriction, and you can do that on your own--even cycling. For example, one of the women reported that she had cycled her points on WW when she was stalled, and that helped her continue to lose. She ate the same number of points weekly, but she simply had higher and lower days, and for some reason that made a difference.

I find it makes a difference for me, too. I have yet to find the ideal mix for maintenance, but I know that I need to cycle in some way.
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Old 06-19-2013, 06:38 AM   #381
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I'm doing ok, s.l.o.w and steady. I thought about you Sunday. Are you growing tomatoes this year? I have a few ripening.

I haven't done Juddd, wish I could pull it off but I don't think I can trust myself with it right now. I do great with the 8 hour window and think it's the best thing I've done for myself other than low carb. The 5:2 has worked good for me too so I dabble with the three.
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Old 06-19-2013, 08:38 PM   #382
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo41 View Post
DG-
Have you ever done JUDDD? I ask because the plan's developer warns that it can be a hazard for anyone with binge tendencies.

I did JUDDD 'religiously' for over 2 years, and lost my final 100 lbs, but I did it very low carb, and the only reason I used it is because my calorie level has to be very low (even in maintenance). It's tough to eat just 900 cal a day, but I did JUDDD at 400/1400, and that worked great for me, especially since many of my UDs were only 1200.

During the time I was involved with JUDDD, a lot of women with a history of binge eating insisted on trying it and crashed and burned. Apparently the restrictions of those DDs can easily lead to binge eating.

Keep in mind that JUDDD is basically a form of calorie restriction, and you can do that on your own--even cycling. For example, one of the women reported that she had cycled her points on WW when she was stalled, and that helped her continue to lose. She ate the same number of points weekly, but she simply had higher and lower days, and for some reason that made a difference.

I find it makes a difference for me, too. I have yet to find the ideal mix for maintenance, but I know that I need to cycle in some way.
Hi Leo and Scalestepper. Just a heads up - this journal will be closing as I'm starting a fresh one for JUDDD. Look for me there to continue the discussion!

Leo- I recognize the risk. Maybe you can verify - one thing I've read is that the benefits of alternate day dieting can be achieved if there is a 1,000 calorie spread between up and down days. That could be done with less extreme numbers. At any rate, what I'm doing isn't working so I've got to try something else! I may crash and burn too, and I appreciate the heads up and support no matter what!

Quote:
Originally Posted by scalestepper View Post
I'm doing ok, s.l.o.w and steady. I thought about you Sunday. Are you growing tomatoes this year? I have a few ripening.

I haven't done Juddd, wish I could pull it off but I don't think I can trust myself with it right now. I do great with the 8 hour window and think it's the best thing I've done for myself other than low carb. The 5:2 has worked good for me too so I dabble with the three.
Yes I am growing tomatoes!! The plants seem small to me right now - we got a late start due to weather. I'm glad to know that some form of intermittent fasting is working for you. The science seems interesting to me and I feel I have to give it an honest try. We'll see what happens! What I love about this forum is there is so much room for investigation of different plans and experimentation - and support for such a wide variety of options.

See you on the fresh journal I hope!

DG
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