To-Be-Low-Carber Journal

[tobelowcarber]

Oh yeah! who was I kidding?? I am continuing the "over-eating" pattern for 3 days now. Feel like crap and can't stop the carb cravings At this point I don't care and continue to eat carbs, as I messed it up already so badly.

I can eat great for 2 weeks and than for 3-5 weeks when I am waiting for my always delayed TOM to arrive I gain all the weight I lost and then some.
I am tired of this constant hormonal battle. My saliva hormones test came back pretty normal. Estrogen slightly lower and progesterone normal. I don't know what to do this as I don't even have a decent doctor to talk to.

So, my leptin reset experiment is only working first 2 weeks of my cycle. Well, I never had an issue during first 2 weeks, so basically it is doing nothing for my hormones overall. I can't blame LR, it is my own fault of allowing myself to have a bite of carb food. If I did not touch it, I would be fine.
I need to engrave in my brain that only thing that works for my cravings is to not cave on that first bite of carbs. That means eating meat and eggs only after second week of my cycle.

During first 3 months on Atkins I was able to control the urge to binge during PMS. I would not even think of touching any fruits or honey. It was painful but doable. Why am I now giving myself the permission to eat these foods??? I have not even reached my goal weight.

The hardest thing is to stop. I can understand how alcoholics or drugattics feel. I have nothing left in the house but planning already to go to the store to pick up some yogurt. I love eating yogurt with honey. I know I should say "STOP RIGHT NOW" but I think I will do that tomorrow morning. I hope menopause will be easier...

So the bottom line is:

LR works but during PMS all carbs are OUT. I seem to be very carb sensitive during PMS. At other times, I can have up to 20 gr of carbs (sometimes form fruits, but mostly from veggies).

ETA:
After I have read what I have written so far, I am not going to go out to buy yogurt. I am going to have some eggs and salmon for the rest of the day. Why undo all the efforts I have put in. It is not too late. Yes, I might see 3 lbs weight gain. Probably should stay away form the scale.

I can do this: PURE and SIMPLE ATKINS with LR BAB. No carbs for me!!!!!

BTW, scale registered 129.8 this morning.

[tobelowcarber]

I can't stop the carbs. I don't know what kind of Atkins am I following? I don't know if I can stop this nonsense till TOM arrives. I am losing my hope.

[jeaniem]

Sorry to hear your struggling Marika.

[tobelowcarber]

Thanks for stopping by Jeanie. How are you doing?

Today, I was supposed to work form home. It was not a productive day. I have been eating all day. Carbs really drag my energy and all I want to do is eat and sleep. The hardest thing is to break this carb cravings and this time I am realy struggling Once TOM arrives I have to stay away from all fruits, honey and nuts. No excuse for having one bite. This one bite lead me to a week long binge and god knows how much weight I put on.

[jeaniem]

Doing okay, just doing a lower fat plan right now and lots of walking. Dropping pounds and inches pretty quickly, but having daily headaches while adjusting.

[tobelowcarber]

Jeanie- did you also lower the carbs, or only fat? Great that you are walking. When I eat carbs, I loose motivation to walk. Maybe I go for a nice walk tomorrow, the weather has been mild here lately.

[jeaniem]

Yeah lower carb, but allowing some cottage cheese and had a few green beans and olives at my in-laws holiday dinner yesterday. I feel better so far eating this way. The high fat and protein really seemed to worsen the hot flashes, which I am for the most part not having now and am sleeping lots better as well.

[tobelowcarber]

Jeanie- so glad to hear the new way is working for you

[tobelowcarber]

This morning is a fresh start for me, even though TOM is far away and cravings are severe. I have no choice but to kick the cravings out before I gain all the weight I have lost. Not too mention the brain fog and lethargy from carbs.

Starting with meat and eggs today. Will report later how is it going.

[tobelowcarber]

I am doing it !!! Staying away from carbs, that is. It is almost 3PM and all I had was meat, egg whites and mayo. While the carbs cravings are physical (I am thinking due low serotonin during PMS), there is definitely mental component to it. I have decided this morning that enough is enough. So mentally we can control it after all. We are the ones putting the foods in our mouth. I know I can do this. Just need few days of meat and eggs and the cravings will be gone. Can't wait to get to that state of CONTROL.

Right now I am already feeling effect of carb withdrawal- bad headache and lethargy.

Did 30 min walk this morning. I am not stepping on the scale yet.

I am going to start reading Brain Over Binge book. Have never got into it, always thinking it is my hormones not my mind to blame, but now I am starting to think otherwise.

[jeaniem]

Hope your day went well Marika.

I have had 4 good days in a row. White knuckling all evening, but am going to make it through without a binge.

[tobelowcarber]

Last night after dinner, I had a full blowned binge and continuing it this morning
Maybe I should stop posting because everytime I report some progress, few hours later I am at square one, looking like a total idiot.
I will be back when I figure the solution and make some progress.
In the meantime, wishing you lots of success- Jeanie.

[jeaniem]

Marika. I understand how you are feeling believe me...

[tobelowcarber]

I got severe headache last night from overeating honey the day before and I think this ends my binge right there. I can't eat that way anymore. Why am I abusing my own body?

I am going to post again in my journal even though sometimes I think I jinx myself plus I look like an idiot saying something one minute and not following it the next. Yes, I win and fail, but that's how life goes. Maybe it will help me keep more accountable and perhaps someone reading it can learn also from my mistakes.

I am thinking of doing modified version of Carb Addicts Diet. I will be doing my version of reward meal which I think is very safe with my binging. Since I don't eat grains or potatoes to begin with there will be no starch. I will however have a carby veggie like butternut squash/spaghetti squash/parsnips in small quantity (not more than 15 gr of carbs). I wont be eating any fruits or honey and should probably stay clear from any nuts.
So the reward meal will consists of 2 cups of salad with dressing, 1/3 plate of protein, 1/3 plate of craving reducing veggies and if I feel like it- 1/3 plate of more carby veggies. I am letting the 1/3 plate of more carby veggies to be optional. If I need it, I will have it. Or pehaps have it every other day. I want to keep my overall carbs below 30 gr for the day.
The other 2 meals (Craving-Reducing Foods) will consist of protein or protein plus very low carb veggie. I will still eat BAB- but perhaps with little less protein. I don't think 60 gr of protein made any difference in my binging. I will see how it goes and adjust accordingly.

I think this modified CALP is safe. I don't think I could do a regular version, as I am sure I could use it as an excuse to binge. It is good I don't eat grains so that makes it easier. The only challenge is not to touch any fruits and honey!!!

Today so far I had 8 oz of baked salmon for breakfast. I really had to force myself to eat it. I am still having bad headache and now feel nauseous.

Will probably check my weight tomorrow just to keep track of my progress. I know I will not like the number. I am thinking I am probably around 135-137 lb right now It is hard to believe that I was 124 only 10 days ago.

[tobelowcarber]

Had a good day eating wise. Still feel lousy and have a nasty headache. I only ate twice today. Reward Meal did not really have much from carbs except for onion in the salad

B: 8 oz baked salmon
D: salad with 2 oz salmon, cucumber, onion, mayo dressing
1/2 lb lamb kebabs, mushroom and spinach cooked in butter

total around 1300 cal/less than 15 gr of carbs

[jeaniem]

Glad you're getting back on track Marika.

Looks like it's my turn. Ice cream, chocolate almonds and a bunch of other crap today. I only hope I can get right back on track, I always mean to but sometimes it takes a few days.

[tobelowcarber]

Jeanie- don't go my route, please make it a one time event.

I think this last binge was the hardest for me of all. I really over did it on honey. I was getting up at 6 AM before DH, to eat a 32 oz container of yogurt with 3 TBL honey mixed-in, before having any breakfast. So I was high on sugar since morning. This was just the beginning of the day...
Well, I have been only 1 day binge-free and feel so much better. Only if I could capture the painful feeling after eating carbs if I want to start the next binge again. Honey is so out of my menu, I wish I dd not have in the house, but I do for DH.

[tobelowcarber]

133.4 lb 22.9% BF up 10 lbs in 10 days!!!!

[tobelowcarber]

Day is going good so far.

I did 30 min walk this morning and should probably get back to my exercise DVDs. I am in such an exercise slump. I used to exercise daily to my large collection of dvds. What has happened?
I don't think I am actually doing CALP like I said yesterday. I am not eating high carb with my reward meal. I will use the RM if I need some extra carbs from veggies.

At this point I am doing a combination of various diets (BTD, SCD, Atkins, Leptin Reset, maybe part-time JUDD) But the bottom line is TO BE LOW CARBER no matter what diet I follow, I will have to be low carber.

I am actually considering doing JUDD again but only with 2-3 down days a week. Maybe I will have fixed 2-3 days a week for DDs (M,W,F). I will keep my calories between 500-1000. I think this is better than nothing. I lost nicely on JUDD and also lost nicely on atkins alone. The problems started while I was doing JUDD. I started getting liberal with carbs on DD I was eating fruits thinking they are pretty low calories. That's when all the trouble began. CARBS are evil!!!!!

Today, pretty much is a DD. I ate about 700 cal and will not eat for the rest of the day. I think it will be good to give my body a break after all the cab bonanza.

B: 1/2 lb cold salmon with homemade garlic mayo (that was yummy)
L: sautéed mushroom with spinach in EVOO
10 small cucumber pickles

~700 cal/12 gr carbs

[jeaniem]

Another really bad day! I have been reading the NK thread and seems people are losing without having to eat low calorie. Makes me wonder if eating low calorie will always set me up to fail eventually??

[tobelowcarber]

Oh Jeanie Maybe it is worth giving it try. I wanted to do in the past, but was not able to "mentally" lower the protein so much and raise the fat. I am not an expert on NK, but is seems to me in order to get in the calories one will have to get most of them from fat, since we don't want too many carbs. I have nothing against fat but there would be not be enough vloume of food for me ( I think).
I know there are lots people who are successful on it. You never know till you try it.

I started on JUDD again today. This time keeping it low carb and with higher calories on down days. Keeping my fingers crossed that it will work this time.

[tobelowcarber]

Jeanie- I forgot to ask you-have you ever tried L-Glutamine? I read it works nicely for blood type O.
I wish I could try it but I am very sensitive to MSG and L-Glutamine has naturally occuring MSG. Maybe one day I will test it on myself

[jeaniem]

I have some of the L-Glutamine and will start using it again, it does seem like it helps.
I am so tired of all this, I wish there was just a sure way to stop the madness. I have been having some wheezing and shortness of breath the last couple of days, I wonder if one of the binge foods is causing the problem.

[tobelowcarber]

It could very well be. I was getting congested and sneezing a lot lately. I am fine after I stopped the carbs.

[tobelowcarber]

132.2 lb 22.5% BF

Good UD today. No time for walk though.

B: 1/2 lb leftover salmon with garlic mayo 520 cal
L: skipped
D: salad with lettuce, cucumber, onion, mayo dressing
roasted brussels sprouts and lamb kebabs 1120 cal

total 1640 cal/ around 25 gr carbs

[jeaniem]

Sounds like you had a good day Marika. I have done well today, not much hunger, but that's typical after gorging for days!

[tobelowcarber]

131.8 lb

Good DD today. I did 45 min walk and lots of cleaning in the house. Looks like the PMS got better. Don't have much cravings anymore
So far I had 268 cal and will probably have 200 more for dinner

B: 5 oz baked salmon 200 cal
L: 4 egg whites baked 68 cal
D: will have lefttover 5 oz salmon. If needed will eat it with HB egg

How is it going today, Jeanie?

[jeaniem]

I think I am trying to kill myself via carb overload. I ate entire box of ho ho's , a small bag of chocolate pretzels and a pint of starbucks coffee ice cream in one sitting. WTH!!

[tobelowcarber]

Oh! I know I know Jeanie how hard it is. It is amazing how much we can consume in one seating. Those carbs are evil and they will only make you eat more and more. I was there 3 days ago so it is very fresh in my memory. I was eating all day and looking for excuses to go grocery shopping to buy more stuff. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will not be reaching for fruits,honey and nuts. I have basically told myself that I am very allergic to all these after my horrible headache that lasted for 2 days not to mention the carb congestion in my chest and sinuses and weight gain. It is not worth eating all this crap and making ourselves sick. Really it is not!!!!! Let enjoy some delicious low carb foods.
You think you can start fresh tomorrow with induction to kick this carb monkey off your back ? Meat and eggs perhaps? Then start adding some veggies. I feel like I should not be limiting veggies so much.
I wonder if you started taking the l-glutamine yet?

[jeaniem]

I did take the L-glutamine the last two days. I am so tired of trying, but guess I have no choice other than to try induction again.

I too am wondering about the lack of veggies, one site suggested I start in OWL phase.