Janet's Second Wind

[Bejewelme]

Janet get a nettie pot I swear by that thing for any illness with nose or throat!!! Glad you feel better though!

[writermom]

Hi Janet! Glad you are feeling better. I do the same thing on the weekends--laundry and catching up on my soap or watching DVR movies. My 97-year old grandma got me hooked on the Lifetime movies years ago. I always find something on there that sucks me in!

[Bejewelme]

I am so hooked on reality TV now it is the Hollywood ex's, LOL I love crap TV, Jane I am all excited I got a snazzy cover and an LED reading light for my Nook for $8 at 5 below, LOL Now I can read in bed without having to get out of bed to turn the light out!

[pooticus]

Glad you are feeling better sweetie!!!! Kisses and hugs and hot chicken soup!!!! MUAH!!!

[kittycitygirl]

Janet!

Glad you feel better

[janetsbreeze]

Ugh. Well apparently I jumped the gun on feeling better as I have been completely out of comission the last few days. Sick as a dog.
Still am, but I am back at work today as I can't afford to miss any more work. I have too much to do piling up here waiting for me, and as i am the only one here who does my job, I need to be here today. My boss has apparently gone off the deep end while I have been out and driving everyone nuts!

My weight is up which doesn't surprise me. I haven't had any appetite at all and what I have eaten has been carb heavy - grilled cheese, cupcake, ice cream. Today I am back on the LC wagon and hopefully it will come right off.

[DesertGurl]

Feel better soon honey!

[Frenchie'sGirl]

Ugh, poor girl. I hope it hurries away quickly. I am in the same boat, thought my stuff was gone yesterday but dragging my butt again today We both need chicken soup!

[janetsbreeze]

I have been eating the chicken soup - I forgot to add that. It's the best stuff when you are sick!

[janetsbreeze]

I am finally feeling human today, thank goodness. Being sick is for the birds.

Weight is back to 177 - I seem to be stuck here. Only 7 pounds over my lowest weight, but still a long way to go.

[DesertGurl]

SO glad you're feeling better honey!

[writermom]

Glad you're feeling better!

[pooticus]

Oh my Janet, I second the chicken soup when you're feeling bad!!! It's the best. I keep some frozen at all times just for that emergency!!!

So glad you are feeling better!!! Did K end up getting it?

MUAH! Love ya girl!!!

[Bejewelme]

Glad to hear you feel better Janet, did cupcakes help? As long as you can taste though, I hate wasting carbs on stuff when I cant taste, LOL

[janetsbreeze]

Yup, still a little snotty, but feeling much better
Thank goodness K did not get it. P is also better.

I'm still at work! Today is a late day and tomorrow will be crazy as we are prepping for sale time - it's our once a year sale starting tomorrow. Well ... everyone else is prepping. I am playing on my computer, obviously

[janetsbreeze]

The scale hates me. I usually weigh on Saturday's as i can sleep in and the scale usually shows me a lower number. Today I had to work so was up bright and early and didn;t dare to step on the scale. On top of that, I was an eating machine last night - all low carb but ate a ton of food before feeling filled up. I hate that feeling.

So my big weigh day will be tomorrow. We will see if I am permanently stuck at 177 or if the scale faily will wave her magic wand and show me a loss of 30 pounds. I can dream

[janetsbreeze]

I find myself in a foul, nasty mood this afternoon. I am fed up with so many things right now, least of all my weight.
Mostly I am fed up with my living arrangements - namely P. Once again, I find myself in the same situation as before - giving and giving and getting nothing in return. I'm unable to talk to K about it as she is immediately defensive.
My honest thoughts are that I want P out of my house and out of my life for good. Unfortunately that is not going to happen so I need to find some way to come to terms with this without losing my mind or killing anyone.

Thanks for letting me vent here. It's one of the few places I can be completely honest about this part of my life and how unhappy it makes me.

[janetsbreeze]

So, after last night being consumed with anger and feeling sorry for myself, and eating too much including a bunch of ice cream, I have come to the conclusion that holding on to my anger regarding P is only hurting me.
My situation will not change. I am stuck with her and her bills and her drama. I know that it will not change for now and I know that it's not forever although it seems to be.
So while I am walking around, yelling at her in my head and being so angry, I am only hurting myself.
I need to work on changing my reaction, my response as I am making myself a little crazy right now and seem to be stuck on this.

So, going forward, it is what it is. I have a plan of attack for myself that includes loads of aminos - those always help me. I'm not sure if it's my bipolar keeping me stuck on this and focused on P or not, but cannot and will not take that chance.

Part of my plan of attack is not b******* about her any more here. I tend to read and reread what I've written which keeps me focused on the negative, so I am not going to post about her.
I will certainly post the rest of my drivel, the stuff that matters only to me.
____________________________
Ok, new leaf
No more b*******, no more ice cream.
Starting weight, 177 (surprised I didn't gain after yesterday!)

[JCWANNABE]

Great job on changing the mental plan of attack! Attitude is 99% of getting anything done . It can be hard, but it is worth it!

[janetsbreeze]

Thanks Melissa

Yesterday was a good eating day - minus the fact that I had some popcorn. Now today I am STARVING and craving like crazy.
So not worth it for popcorn.

[DesertGurl]

Aw Janet, I'm sorry you're having a rough go of things lately. I know you're moving forward, but I also think that it's important that you be able to communicate to K how you feel and that she actually LISTEN to how you feel. Why is it that you don't get a say on anything? You're a couple, you should be making these kinds of decisions together.. from what I've seen, you have been more than accommodating to P in your hospitality, and then some! Just my .02 and I certainly do not mean to pry, but I worry about you.

Hang tough lady, be good to you and love yourself up like crazy! ♥

[janetsbreeze]

Danielle, I appreciate that
I do think I get a say, it's just that it's a hot button and I would rather not push it.

[DesertGurl]

I hear ya Just would hate that you'd feel like you have to keep your feelings bottled up, that's all. Be well my friend!

[writermom]

I totally relate to your situation, Janet. I've been dealing with my husband's ex and his 2 kids for more than 10 years now and I refuse to burn out because of these people. The kids are always having some major problem and the ex is a drama queen who wants DH to take care of everything for her. I have to mentally wash my hands of all of them and focus on myself and my daughter. If I don't, I become bitter and resentful. My stepson living with us sucks because he is manipulative and never, ever feels he gets enough attention from his father but at the same time his mom is mean to him and ignores him most of the time. It is what it is. Right now thought I feel alone in my own home, which is always how I feel when he is here because he only wants to talk to his father or be around his father so it's mostly like I don't even exist. It changes the flow of our household so much and I hate it but like you, I won't give in to the negativity.

[janetsbreeze]

Thank you both for understanding
If I let myself get resentful, the only one it hurts is me - not K and not P. I'm the one that ends up angry and bitter and I can't live like that.

[Bejewelme]

Ughg Janet you are a bigger person than me, I used to always keep my mouth shut but now I complain until something changes, LOL I cant hold stuff in, and for my two cents i dont think it is right that you have to be so upset, but if you feel it is the way then I am 100% behind you, but ready to kick some booty for ya if need be

[pooticus]

Hey sweetie! You have a lot on your plate!!! MUAH!

Just a thought, would it be possible to take K to a neutral place with a relaxed atmosphere, maybe a weekend stay somewhere and just hold her hand and talk to her without defenses or accusations. Just discuss things calmly in a joint manner of problem solving?

I will add you to my prayers about this honey!!!

[janetsbreeze]

Thank you both
Makes me feel good that I have a place I can vent and whine and moan to my hearts content.

[writermom]

I like Poot's idea. At some point you and K do have to talk about the long term plan. I mean, if P was K's kid it would be a totally different story but you shouldn't have to take care of this woman and put a roof over her head forever just because they are lifelong friends.

[Martini72]

I'm wit Amber. You are way bigger thsan I am. Paying someone else's bills? What's that about? And yea she isn't her kid. I think P needs to be gone every weekend at least every other. This is not some kind of menageethreeway. You guys need alone time!!! U and K should be free to run bucketnaked!!! Feel free to vent when u need to and let go of anything that drags u into anger.