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Old 08-07-2012, 09:53 PM   #181
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Ah, thanks Karen . For both the support and the movie advice. I'm really good at stuffing my feelings and pushing through hard times. I do that with my daughter's situation all the time. I need to make sure I allow my self to be sad and grieve and not turn myself into a bingeing robot.

Regarding my daughter, I HATE people staring at her. But this is something I've wanted to do for her for a long time. I think she would love it! I don't know how long we will have her. They told us 2 years and here she is turning 12. She definitly deserves it .

Thanks again. Your words were perfect
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My Journal- Getting Real With Myself
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:54 PM   #182
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Hi Tanya,

Oh, I am also very sorry to hear this terrible news about your sister. I will double up on the positive thoughts and prayers I am sending your way! I do encourage you to use your journal to share your feelings as much as you want to, as I think that will help you deal with this very painful situation. I'm always here to offer a good listening ear!!

Yipee for August birthdays!! I hope your DD enjoys whatever you guys plan for her this weekend. I think a movie sounds great. It's crazy, but we have at least 10 birthdays this month, including our anniversary on the 18th.

I hope you have a restful night, although I understand that may be a challenge with all that is on your mind. Hugs your way!

Take care,

Jenna
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Old 08-07-2012, 10:36 PM   #183
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Hi Jenna,

Thank you for the prayers. Really that is all that is left for us to do. She truly needs a miracle. My mom called some of her friends who are in prayerchains.

I cried tonight and my poor husband . He's not use to that. I am not a crier but he did good. He just took me in his arms, that's what I needed.

When I called my sis today we spoke briefly. In her typical way she was reassuring me . That is so her.

Again, thank you for your encouragement . I appreciate it.
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Old 08-08-2012, 09:24 AM   #184
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Good morning,

I slept well and the sun is shining again! It's going to be a good day.

Yesterday when I was on the phone with my mom I was on the porch and a hummingbird flew right up to my face. It was so close I could see it's belly. My mom thinks its a sign either that or it thought my red hair was a flower!

I forgot to mention I've had two people a neighbor and my daughters supervising nurse both ask me if I've lost weight. That I look trim . I haven't changed clothes sizes I just think I'm less "puffy" and the clothes fit properly now .

I'm going to keep busy and I have kickboxing tonight. I will definitely be there, I want to hit something !


I also have my birthday this month. My husband has it lucky because sweet girls is the 11th and mines the 21st. Pretty easy for him to remember. When we got married in the church is it was in this month on the 14th. We actually married in Reno six months prior. My parents were not amused, I was only 18! This February it will be 20 years!!! Even young punk kids can sometimes get it right .

Food today- just a healthy eating day. I have a very bad habit on UDs of going to BK and buying their iced mocha. I think I'm addicted and it's got to have a billion grams of sugar! Must stay away from BK!

Have a great day everyone! I'll check back in later
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Old 08-08-2012, 05:38 PM   #185
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Hi Tanya,

Hope your day is going well! I also hope that you enjoy kicking the stuffing out of things tonight at class. That's a positive way to release stress.

I had to laugh about the August birthdays/special occasions. We have like 10 birthdays in August including DD, my MIL, my BIL, my mom, and DH. Plus our anniversary is the 18th. My DS was born on the eve of the 17th; he was a C-Section baby and I begged the doc to take him before midnight so our anniversary and his birthday would not be on the same day.

We thought of going to Vegas for our wedding too...but in the end, we did it outside in Chicago instead (I still would have gone for Vegas myself ).

I went over to my church today and lit a candle especially for your sister. Prayer is a very powerful thing. Please do keep us updated on her and how you all are doing.

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE an iced mocha or coffee in any form. At least, I now have the OK from the doc to have wine (in limited amounts, which I do anyway).

Tanya, have a great evening. Talk to you soon, friend!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 08-08-2012, 07:55 PM   #186
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I've had a few incidents like that with hummingbirds, this bush on our front patio attracts 2 of them so I watch them when I sit outside...they've come close to me a couple times and I tried very hard not to freak out. It's just strange when they get THAT close. Speaking of...I see one right now and it's making this chirpy sound while drinking.

It's always a great thing to have people notice you slimming down. You deserve the compliments!!

You and Jenna are in August craziness. I thought my end of the year birthday and anniversary pile up was bad, but to have all that in ONE month.

Speaking of Mocha...I had to go to Albertsons today and they recently opened a Starbucks in there and I so badly wanted to get one but knew the sugar was going to get me. I heard they make it with SF Syrup but I just don't trust that it'll be done right or I will mess up the order so I just avoided it. Personally, I know if I have that first "bad" carb I will go into a frenzy...I wish I could stop after one. I suppose I could learn to make one at home that has less carbs and sugar.

I hope you had a good time at kickboxing!!
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Old 08-08-2012, 09:53 PM   #187
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Good evening Ladies,

Kickboxing was awesome ! If you have large amounts of stress this is the class for you!

I ended up having to drive to Monterey to my son's eye doc. My DS7 broke them again (bent the frame this time) this is the fifth time in three months. Aye yi yi this boy! The lady there says "Well at least we know he's wearing them". Ha ha ha lady .

Jenna- thank you so much for lighting a candle and praying for my sister. Your a good friend . I think you won the August celebration contest .

Karen- I keep seeing that same humming bird hanging around our house today. I must have some tasty flowers out there .
I sure love the compliments. They keep me going...

Tomorrow is a DD and I need it. Can't believe I'm saying that . I'll be doing high protein all the way!

I'm going to go check journals. Goodnight.
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Old 08-09-2012, 08:46 AM   #188
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DD11 wears glasses and when she was younger always found a way to damage them. Nowadays I am lucky if I can get her to actually wear them bc she's in that stage of thinking she looks dorky with them on.

I have those days when I look forward to DDs. I call them detox days now, especially after an UD binge. What do you usually eat on DDs?

Hope you woke up to sunshine again today.
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Old 08-09-2012, 10:36 AM   #189
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Good morning everyone,

The sun is out which makes Tanya a happy girl . I'm sitting on my porch with my coffee and my hbird friend, we've thrown in some dragon flies flying laps through the sprinklers (hilarious). I'm enjoying this way too much. I think I need to get out with some friends, am I just lonely or I'm losing my mind ? Point is that I'm relaxing.

I had to lecture my mom yesterday. She called to tell me that my sister doesn't want people to be sad and negative around her. Sister said" How can I keep myself up and going if everyone around me is crying and down?". My mom was telling me she didn't think she could go around with a smile on her face. I told her " Oh yes you can! Do up want to look back five years from now and know that you didn't support your daughter in the way she needed you to. Go in the shower and bawl your eyes out but you better be smiling when your with her." Mom told me I'll need to have you remind me several times a week. Gladly! I will happily lecture her as often as it's needed !

Today's a DD and I'm going to eat protein. I need to detox after two huge days of eating. Back to work for me!

Have a good day all.
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Old 08-09-2012, 05:03 PM   #190
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Hi Tanya,

Glad you are enjoying your mornings with Mother Nature! That's awesome. I have always enjoyed being at peace with the outside world. To me, it's almost like a form of prayer. Savor those moments!

Good for you having that talk with your mom. It's very true that your sister needs positive support and good energy around her, to boost her up. Sometimes we need loved ones to remind us of this fact. That's what heart-to-heart talks (or lectures ) are for.

Enjoy your DD with protein today. Must be something in the air! I have been chowing down on protein for the past week: chicken, pork chops, steak, turkey---can't get enough!

Take care, Tanya. More later!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:29 PM   #191
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Good evening,

Jenna- Heart to heart, yes that's exactly what we will call it .

Karen- I never list what I eat because it's normally high carb but since my DDs are more LC, I will do those days .

B- coffee w/ ff hazelnut

L- small salad w/grilled chicken and low cal dressing

S- hard boiled egg

D- cabbage/shrimp and seasonings

Two diet cokes and all my water

I was going to have a 20 cal juice pop but my boy (I know which one) left the empty box in the freezer. My revenge will be swift and painful . I was looking forward to those 20 measly tasty calories!

I've got to go. The family is watching the Olympics and apparanly I'm needed to root the US on (even though it's already happened).

Goodnight All...
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:51 PM   #192
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Your morning sounds so picture perfect, right out of a movie.

That was really good advice you gave your mom, I bet you helped her think about it in a different way today.

Nice food! And good job with the water. I have been slipping in that department lately on DDs. Do you know how many cals and carbs are in the ff creamer? I use the SF one but was curious how much of a difference there is. It's hard combing LC w/JUDDD sometimes...okay, a lot of times.

I hate when someone leaves an empty box, especially when you had a plan. Gosh nabbit kids. Usually I have to worry about that thing with DH, the kids don't touch my items.

Have fun watching the Olympics, I haven't seen any of it but see comments on Facebook about it.

Have a good night!
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Old 08-10-2012, 09:19 AM   #193
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Reverse Body Image

I definitely have this problem. I call it reverse body dysmorphic disorder: Instead of thinking I look WORSE than I do, I think I look BETTER. Just remember that we're our own worst critic. I always ask DH for his opinion because he sees a LOT of people every day. I ask if a "normal person" would wear this out and if it looks ok. He's very honest without being critical.

WOW!!! I have the same thing! I was wondering how I can see myself as looking great , a little chubby, yet pretty great when I dress up for something! THEN, the dreaded FB photos are tagged online and I think to myself, "I don't look like that in person." I was brave enought to ask my husband about it, and he said "he hated to say it, but I have been like this for about 2 years!" I thought it was always the other way around! When I was skinny, I though i was fat.. But now that I am, i think im not really that bad! ??? Wierd huh..... Anyway.. I just joined yesterday and keep up the good work, you can do it! Tanya too!!!
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Old 08-10-2012, 08:03 PM   #194
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oi8that2 View Post
I definitely have this problem. I call it reverse body dysmorphic disorder: Instead of thinking I look WORSE than I do, I think I look BETTER. Just remember that we're our own worst critic. I always ask DH for his opinion because he sees a LOT of people every day. I ask if a "normal person" would wear this out and if it looks ok. He's very honest without being critical.

WOW!!! I have the same thing! I was wondering how I can see myself as looking great , a little chubby, yet pretty great when I dress up for something! THEN, the dreaded FB photos are tagged online and I think to myself, "I don't look like that in person." I was brave enought to ask my husband about it, and he said "he hated to say it, but I have been like this for about 2 years!" I thought it was always the other way around! When I was skinny, I though i was fat.. But now that I am, i think im not really that bad! ??? Wierd huh..... Anyway.. I just joined yesterday and keep up the good work, you can do it! Tanya too!!!
I know what you mean. I do the same thing. I now have one of my kids snap a picture on my phone. So I can see what I really look like . Best of luck to you on your journey!
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Old 08-10-2012, 09:27 PM   #195
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Hey Everyone ,

Had a busy day running around shopping for sweet girls BD. Nothing like leaving it to the last minute! It's hard to shop for her since physically she isn't able to play with toys. I asked my DS7 what we should get her and he said a Barbie movie and a girl toy. All my boys will go in and watch Barbie and princess movies with her. They're pretty cute with her . We are all taking her Sunday to see Brave. It's still playing in Monterey .

I missed kickboxing tonight so I'm going to do JM in my room in a little bit.

My eldest boy said I'm getting skinny. He's been gone a lot this summer so he's more apt to notice since it's been slow going.

We're watching the SF 49ers play the Vikings (DH is from Mn). I'm smiling because my team is winning ! There's a lot of smack talking in this house!

Karen- the fat free hazelnut is 25 cal per Tbl 5 carbs/sugar. Which for me is good since on UDs I use HWC at 50 cal per Tbl.

Have a lovely evening Ladies. Night!
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Old 08-11-2012, 07:28 AM   #196
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Brave was a good movie, I enjoyed that. She will have a good time.

That was such a sweet thing for your boy to say to you.

O my goodness...I remember the days when my mom and uncle would trash talk each other when the 49ers played Vikings. We are all from MN, but my mom is a big time 49ers fan, uncle of course loves the Vikings. It would get very loud wherever they were watching that game. I used to get embarrassed but now I find it funny. I saw the 49ers play in Seattle once and called my mom to tell her I was looking at Jerry Rice's butt.

Well, that isn't too bad for creamer. The SF one is 15 cals and 1g carb per 1 Tbsp. I'm always looking for better options. I tried the almond milk in my coffee once but didn't care for it. On my UDs I sometimes add 1/2 Tbsp of CO to my coffee for my skin, good stuff.

Have a great day Tanya!!
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Old 08-11-2012, 08:00 AM   #197
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Morning Tanya!

You are just like me when it come to the birthday thing (or for me, any other event for that matter), last minute: I'm sure your sweet DD will enjoy her special day. My DS also loved that movie Brave; it will be a fun experience for the whole family. Talk about last minute: my DS's birthday is coming up and I JUST booked the date for the actual party on the 31st with our family and friends. Thank God everyone can make it. DS is very excited about it. He wants a pool party with LOTS of water balloons.

I'm also trying to get back into my JM workouts. I swear this week is the week! I am going to start on Monday a.m.

Ah, the joys of football. My DH is a huge AZ Cardinals fan, even though they consistently STINK (of course there was that one unbelievable year that they went to the Super Bowl). He gets so worked up about it; however, I admit that I can get into it too. Of course, it's ONLY the preseason, but I believe that it does determine, to a extent, what the whole season will look like. I hope your team does well!

I wish you a great weekend, Tanya. More later!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 08-12-2012, 12:13 AM   #198
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We had a great day with Sweet Girl! The cousins came over for pizza and I made brownie pops with ice cream. The little kids love her BD because they have to help her with blowing out the candles and opening the presents! It's a real hardship, but someones got to do it ! One of her favorite things are balloons. So of course we got her a bouquet. DS17 had wrestling this morning so when he came home, he walked in with a teddy bear and a balloon . Sometimes that kid gets it right . Her two previous long term nurses stopped by and there were several calls to wish her a HBD. She's a loved girl.

One of my sons posted on FB- Happy Birthday to my Sissy who teaches me to appreciate my life and all of my abilities.

I love that
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Old 08-12-2012, 07:59 AM   #199
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Sounds like a fabulous birthday she had! She is definitely loved greatly by many and that shows.

to your sweet little girl!
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Old 08-12-2012, 09:36 AM   #200
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Good morning,

I want to check in before the day gets crazy. We have the movies today and school starts for my two little people tomorrow so we need to get prepped for that and of course laundry.

I've been trying the last week to get my little guy to bed early so he can get back into that habit. No dice! He keeps getting up, crying, he says he's scared that were going to die. He hasn't watched any scary movies so I don't know what to do with him . I hope once school starts he'll just be so tired that he'll just drop into bed. Don't burst my bubble, a mom can dream !

Food yesterday~ I had a medium day. Nothing crazy but I did eat with the family last night.

Food today~ LC upday. See if I can do some damage control from my UD, MD , UD rotation this weekend.

Thanks Karen for the BD wishes! Especially for Skye it's an important day. One more year that we have beat the odds.

Have a great day everyone
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Old 08-12-2012, 02:04 PM   #201
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Hi Tanya!

How is your crazy day going? Have fun getting those kiddos ship-shape for school tomorrow! We did that last week. Now it's time to start the spelling homework this afternoon and prep for math next week...back in the swing of things so fast!

SOOOOO glad that your dear little girl had a wonderful birthday!!! That is great news. Happy (belated) Birthday Skye!!! By the way, I LOVE her name. How did you come up with it? It's pretty and very unique---plus I really like the spelling. She sounds precious. Each year is a gift, but I am sure that really rings through for you and your family.

Wishing you and your fam a great rest of your Sunday! Take care!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 08-13-2012, 04:22 PM   #202
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Hi Guys,

So we took the family to the movies. Skye loved it. She oohed and cood and laughed. But by the middle of it she had enough. I think it was too much stimulation. It was also very loud which added to all of that. All in all I think it was a cool experience. If we do it again I'll just plan on watching half the movie . I don't mind having to do things differently ours is a different kind of family!

Jenna- Thanks. I love her name too. I got it from a girl I went to grade school with. Second grade! I kept it in mind for a very long time! It fits her, she's very serene. I figured I'd use her name since it's in my user name. The year is not the year of her birth.

Today's DD almost went out the door. I got too hungry and then I start telling myself "Just eat, to heck with this food stuff " I caught myself though.

So far I've had~
B- coffee with ff hazelnut creamer
S-half a banana and 1tbl pb
L- a small package of veggies with dip
D -?

My little guy and Skye started school today. I wanted to pick him up by noon. I was missing him . The big boys start Thursday.

I have more to write but I have to get dinner and some phone calls done.

Check back later.
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Old 08-13-2012, 07:47 PM   #203
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Hi Tanya!

Glad you had a great family time at the movies. I agree that it can be too much stimulation though. Being so loud doesn't help, I'm sure. But I'm glad you all got a chance to do something together that was special.

Good job catching yourself with the eating today. I know that when I am stressed or busy, it's so easy to say what the heck and eat whatever is easy and available. It takes self-control not to do that. Way to go!

Sounds like you have a busy night ahead of you. Have a good one!

Hugs to you,

Jenna
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Old 08-13-2012, 07:59 PM   #204
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Sounds like she had a wonderful day!

I think she gets her serenity from you. One of the things I love about your posts is how calm and classy you speak your words.

My kids start school on Thurs. so I'm not quite sure how I will respond to them being gone all day again...next year will really hit me bc they will ALL be gone. I hate when my parents are right...kids really do grow up way too fast.

I agree w/Jenna...that was a good catch on the food today. I have found myself in a pickle many times by prolonging the eating.

Hope you had a good dinner. Tomorrow is a yummy UD! Have a great night Tanya!
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Old 08-13-2012, 11:28 PM   #205
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Good evening,

Thanks for the encouragement Ladies . It was a cruddy DD emotionally. I made my calories. I just wasn't happy doing it. I wanted to eat! Maybe I need to check the calendar and see when old Tom is visiting. Could be part of the problem.

Karen- thanks for the compliment . I try to make sure my words are encouraging for everyone. One of my favorite posters here on LCF is Gracie from "Gracie's going to get healthy journal". She is so sweet and has the best attitude. Even when I wasn't following any WOE I would check in and read her journal. I could have a donut in my hand and I would still read it. I still do, I'm a lurker . Because she keeps perceviering and always has a kind word for everyone .


I finished the day with some turkey taco mixture. It was fine.

I have some news about my sister, but don't feel like getting into tonight. I'll write about it tomorrow.

Good night everyone...
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Old 08-14-2012, 04:43 AM   #206
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Start Date: 7/26/10 (re-start; original start 6/03)
I hope everything is ok, Tanya.
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Old 08-14-2012, 03:08 PM   #207
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Location: Central Coast California
Posts: 642
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Stats: 194/173/154
WOE: Low Carb
Hi Guys,

Today's an UD and I've barely ate anything! My minds playing tricks on me .

So, last night at Kickboxing some of the women who haven't been coming regularly told me I'm losing weight. Not really though . Maybe 2 lbs since June. I swear my body is reshaping itself. Whatever it is, I'll take it!

On Skye's BD my sister called and it made me so sad because she was so confused and couldn't speak real clearly. She kept repeating "Take care of Skye" I just had dinner with her the week before and she was tired and her head hurt but she made sense. This was a whole different person. My mom says she's a little better, but so weak. She needs a wheel chair now,when they go to get her blood draws 3 days a week because of the chemo. It just was a serious smack in the face. I think she has been suffering and just doesn't say anything. She is a very strong willed person. I have a feeling this is coming faster than we thought it would.

Little guy was not fun this morning to get up and ready. He still didn't sleep great last night. It will catch up to him soon I'm sure . I have to go pick him up now.

Got to run...
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Old 08-14-2012, 06:34 PM   #208
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Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 661
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Stats: 165-170/155/151, 5'8"
WOE: No sugar, no flour diet
Start Date: April 2012
Hi Tanya!

I love your avatar pic! You look happy and very pretty.

So sorry to hear that your sister is in decline. That must be so difficult. I can't even imagine how you all feel. It really puts things in perspective, that no matter our troubles, health and being with family are the most important things. I don't have any experience in this area, but I can say that your love and support of your sister, no matter how she feels, will help her feel more at peace with everything. I'll continue to pray for you all. Please feel that you can talk to us if you need anything or just want to vent.

I hope that the rest of your day went well. You have a lot on your plate. Take good care and get some restful sleep tonight!

Hugs, Jenna
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Old 08-15-2012, 06:59 AM   #209
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Location: California
Posts: 1,565
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Stats: 5' 3": 201(16/17)/137.4(5/6)/120(?)
WOE: LC/JUDDD (6/20/12)
Start Date: LC 3/7/11; restarted LC 4/30/12; JUDDD 6/20/12
Tanya's got a new avatar...WooHoo! Very pretty!!

It's so true...even when I don't see a loss on the scale I notice areas of my body look different. Plus, you are working out so you may see results lost in inches more than weight bc of muscle.

That's a scary situation with your sister, I'm truly am so sorry you and your family are going through this sad time with your sister. Does your mom live with her?

UDs are so iffy sometimes. I was having a difficult one yesterday but I think it's bc I was binging the times before so I am still fighting cravings. Usually I am lacking hunger on those days and have to force myself to eat throughout the day. Hope it turned out well in the end.

Have a great day Tanya.
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Old 08-15-2012, 12:05 PM   #210
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Hello Everyone ,

Trying to post earlier in the day now. I think my DH feels abandoned lately because at night all I'm doing is tapping on this phone of mine. Yep, still no computer we had to spend 1100- on our car for tires, shocks, and an alignment. So I'm still using my phone .

Thanks for the avatar compliments . I would change it more often but I can not figure out how to size the picture right. I have to ask Cheri to help me. I don't want to bother her all the time with my picture issues!

Things are slow around the house. No running around, no sports (yet). It's very strange. Quiet before the storm.

I have to get an app on my phone to help me out with my calories. I know that is part of the reason I'm not going down on the scale. I'm just not tracking the way I was before. Especially on my UDs .

Food for today~

B- coffee with ff hazelnut

L- salad w/hb egg, little ham &low cal dressing

D-salad w/ turkey taco meat

S-20 cal frozen juice pop

I have KB tonight.

Last year a month before school ended I got a part time substitute job with the kitchen at our local school district. Yes, I'm a substitute cafeteria lady .
I like the job a lot because the hours are no earlier than 9 am and no later than 1:30 pm and because I'm a sub I can tell them no I can not make it. I work only when the kids are in school and if Skye or any of the kids are sick I'm home for them. School started Monday and I'm already working Th and Fri. It is tough working with some of the ladies. It's like we're in jr high again. I'm pretty easy going and can get out of most of those catty conversations with out ticking anyone off! And the extra money helps go to things like A new computer!

Talk to you guys later....

Last edited by skyesmom2002; 08-15-2012 at 12:09 PM..
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